How To Divorce-Proof My Marriage

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ส.ค. 2024
  • Andrew calls The Dave Ramsey Show and figure out how to divorce-proof his upcoming marriage.
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ความคิดเห็น • 370

  • @cateyes2103
    @cateyes2103 5 ปีที่แล้ว +296

    I know several divorced people and based on the reasons for the divorce...don't cheat, don't hide things, don't lie, appreciate your partner. Don't stop working on yourself or your relationship after the wedding day. I also think it's important to actually want marriage. Don't propose or say yes if you're not sure.
    If you think divorce is inevitable or being miserable is inevitable...don't get married and let your partner find someone who is excited about marrying him/her.

    • @minkyone
      @minkyone 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I think this is one of the best recommendations I have ever heard about marriage. Thank you

    • @luminous6969
      @luminous6969 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      The problem is that the other person can do all those things at will and you can't stop them cos they have free will. Then they take half even though you weren't the one that cheated/stole ect.

    • @kendraplayzrobloxgamer8413
      @kendraplayzrobloxgamer8413 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      On point!! You have to (want the marriage) to work.. through the tough times as well. Most divorced people will change whatever the reason may be. Even the people I spoke to regret their decision of divorce. Better yourself each day and your partners. Make them feel special and important. Love them each day!! Then this will appreciate the time spent.

    • @elizabethweber390
      @elizabethweber390 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      After 40+ years of marriage I can tell you the biggest mistake people make is thinking that once you have a wedding everyone will live happy ever after. Marriage is hard work and it cannot be set and forget because things change and you need to keep talking to each other. Things go wrong because the couples stop talking to each other

    • @5yogurt
      @5yogurt 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Basically don't be selfish.

  • @Ninja-qm8bp
    @Ninja-qm8bp 5 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    Even in a family where divorce is very common, all it takes is deciding that YOU will be the one that changes your family tree!!

    • @thecurrentmoment
      @thecurrentmoment 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The decision...followed by education, planning and disciplined action.

  • @naomimay82
    @naomimay82 4 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    My husband and I have been married for 18 years. Marriage is wonderful and also can be a struggle. Both people have to be committed to the marriage and making it work. It is about your commitment to each other. You will face struggles if you are married. To make it through those struggles, you have to be willing to work through things. You can’t throw in the towel when things get tough or when your spouse doesn’t let you always have your way. It is give and take. Sometimes you have to be willing to give up a little and meet in the middle. Find a compromise that both parties can live with.

  • @kay22100
    @kay22100 5 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    We did preengagement and premarital counseling. I recommend it!

    • @MP-nj1qy
      @MP-nj1qy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      kay22100 Can I do that other than in a religious setting?

    • @f.-j.j.5738
      @f.-j.j.5738 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@MP-nj1qy Yes but it will cost a pretty penny with a licensed therapist. Why not do a religious one, do the exercises, have the convos, fill out the little quizzes, exchange with other couples, role play fights and learn how to resolve them, role play major life changes, pregnancy, child rearing, sickness, buying a home etc...
      And just don't mind the religious talk. I loved the one at my church and you actually continue it as newlyweds until two years into the marriage. It's fun.

  • @sugeymancia5806
    @sugeymancia5806 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    He's a very smart guy. Asking for help. Many just follow the statistic but he wants to avoid them by informing him self. Great job

  • @tripleekitchen...6676
    @tripleekitchen...6676 5 ปีที่แล้ว +58

    Communication, morals, character, understanding, loyalty, etc.

  • @Mexicobeanpole
    @Mexicobeanpole 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    After being happily married for 40 years, I believe our success has come from sticking together through thick and thin. Same with all relationships. Parents, siblings, friends. As long as you show love and respect for me as a person, I’m going to be by your side no matter how bad things get.

  • @mastersfan04
    @mastersfan04 5 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    We're missing one key statistic: Andew is in Los Angeles, where 2/3 marriages end in divorce. He maybe has a good plan, but she comes from a culture of divorce where there is no social stigma, Odds are in a few years she will file for divorce citing irreconcilable differences i.e. "I'm not happy"

    • @WhiteLionWolf100
      @WhiteLionWolf100 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      mastersfan04, well, there are 2 general reactions to divorce for people who come from families with lots of divorce. One is not thinking much of it as you describe and not actually holding marriage to a high standard of commitment. Another reaction is to avoid divorce at all costs because of how much you don’t like it. Sadly, it seems that the first reaction is more common statistically speaking.

    • @mastersfan04
      @mastersfan04 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@r.rodriguez4991 i did watch the entire video. A good understanding of Statistics help us take better control in our decision making. Here's another one: of those 2/3 in CA that end in divorce, 80% of the time the petitioner is the female. This caller was male, so there is a good chance that he has no control at all of how and when his marriage will end. We live our lives by statistics all the time. For instance, we font drive 90 mph down a residential road where kids play, b/c ststistically someone is going to get hurt.

    • @mastersfan04
      @mastersfan04 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@r.rodriguez4991 get a life

    • @mastersfan04
      @mastersfan04 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@r.rodriguez4991 practice what you preach

    • @jeremyloving3620
      @jeremyloving3620 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Never listen to stats because every household is different also in who you choose for a real life partner is important!

  • @MMA-mh9uv
    @MMA-mh9uv 5 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    Just know who you are marrying. You have to be on the same page financially and with your life goals. Many people marry hoping things get better or will "work out". I am so red-pilled it's not even funny, however, there are good women out there, they're just rare and hard to find. My wife and I are on the same page across the board.

    • @myopinion8882
      @myopinion8882 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @Mike - What does red pilled mean please? Never heard this saying in Australia!

    • @stephaniejane306
      @stephaniejane306 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@myopinion8882 I second that

    • @sydney45
      @sydney45 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@stephaniejane306 There's a group of people who are so convinced that society is wrong, they think they've taken the "red pill" from the Matrix movie and have a higher plane of thinking. This typically involves a lot of hugely negative sweeping generalizations about women and people in power.

    • @stephaniejane306
      @stephaniejane306 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@sydney45 thankyou for explaining. 😃

  • @Mexicobeanpole
    @Mexicobeanpole 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I’m not a statistic. We’re not a statistic.
    We just really respect each other as people first. 40 happy years. Grateful every day.

  • @skippingalong769
    @skippingalong769 5 ปีที่แล้ว +117

    I agree! Marriage takes work. I love being married to my husband.

    • @randallanimal
      @randallanimal 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Love is service/work. i.e. "I love my country so I served it, etc" People be like "We fell out of love" well actually they stopped working at it (usually).

    • @IWantToMature85
      @IWantToMature85 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      LeeAnn Meline happy for you! We need more of that!

    • @IWantToMature85
      @IWantToMature85 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      randallanimal they always say that stuff like “we grew apart,” but never explain what caused them to. I literally saw a man on Facebook post that he and his wife are divorcing after 40 years. That ticked me off and doesn’t make sense. It makes me scared to get married. I have no clue if they went to counseling, but that hurts to read. It sounds like he wants to be back with her, but she doesn’t want to be with him.

    • @labornurse
      @labornurse 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@IWantToMature85 adultry really can put the nail in the coffin. Too hard to come back from that mistake.

    • @Emptytopfloor
      @Emptytopfloor 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@IWantToMature85 top reasons for divorce are lack of commitment, finances, infidelity. I don’t know how infidelity isn’t part of lack of commitment. Anyway, I’d argue infidelity is the major reason for divorce and since women are filing more, logically it’s the husbands who are doing the more of the cheating and effing up. Ashley Madison is still up and running, so you know what that means. In previous generations, women were lot lenient on husbands infidelity. Now they are not so lenient because they are capable of making their own money. And the men that saw their mothers, grandmothers tolerating cheating husbands and expect the same from their wives. It just doesn’t work that way anymore.

  • @bobbydrives7012
    @bobbydrives7012 5 ปีที่แล้ว +263

    Just because you don’t get divorced doesn’t mean you’re happy. A lot of married couples sleep in separate beds by age 40

    • @brianbest6097
      @brianbest6097 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      True also we don't know what is happening in their bedroom.

    • @Gabster1990
      @Gabster1990 5 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      I know a lot of old couples who sleep in seperate beds. It's usually health issues.

    • @bryanjacobs1423
      @bryanjacobs1423 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Obviously not being divorced is a higher predictor of happiness though. That's like saying "Just because you have a broken leg doesn't mean you're unhappy" Ofc but having a broken leg usually isn't conducive to happiness.

    • @Excalibur2
      @Excalibur2 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@bryanjacobs1423 but the point is that nobody looks at stats about married but unhappy couples, only married vs divorced, not even 'never married' people. They play the numbers to look like married people are always happier.

    • @kay22100
      @kay22100 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That's true but there are many happily married couples who have been married awhile

  • @minervagalvez4748
    @minervagalvez4748 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Listen to Your Gut! If you don't feel right DO NOT FORCE IT AND...YOU CAN'T CHANGE ANOTHER'S PERSON'S BEHAVIOR-CAN'T DO IT!!!

  • @MrJdouble1998
    @MrJdouble1998 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    People think divorce solves problems, but it just brings new ones.

  • @MrRoshilawrence
    @MrRoshilawrence 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    I love being married despite all the work. ALL relationships require work. You will not be HAPPY ALL the time with your mom, dad, children, coworkers, husband, wife, church, etc. You will need to choose to be present in all those relationships and put work in them for them to really be enjoyable. It will not always feel good but growth requires us to be uncomfortable. We are an immediate gratification culture in America and once we tire of something we want to throw it away. Marriage is not necessary to be happy but it worth it for those who choose it.

    • @misspriss2482
      @misspriss2482 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      So much this. "I'm not happy!" "I'm bored!" "It's hard!" Somewhere along the way people got the idea that if you're not having the time of your life at all times, you have the right to walk away...from a church, a job, or any other commitment. It's sad.

  • @NamgyelRangdolPala
    @NamgyelRangdolPala 5 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    Love each other and get your finances in order

  • @Debble
    @Debble 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Tbh the conclusion is people that know how to avoid mayor mistakes won't marry the wrong person

  • @michaeldickens3357
    @michaeldickens3357 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    YES!!! Great advise... I'm forwarding this to my grand-daughter who is engaged.

  • @bourbonbs2382
    @bourbonbs2382 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    People think saying “marriage is work” means you have a bad one. That’s not the case. You spend 30-40yrs if your life in your career, and you’d obviously agree *that’s* work. You’re spending your entire life with someone else ... why wouldn’t that also be considered “work”? Work just means effort. Of course you have to put effort into your marriage.

  • @jamiemoulton2986
    @jamiemoulton2986 5 ปีที่แล้ว +108

    Every time Dave Ramsey posts anything about marriage the cynics gather...

    • @unique32journalist
      @unique32journalist 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      life is worth fighting for Yep, came here just to read all the comments from the MGTOWs. 😂

    • @jamiemoulton2986
      @jamiemoulton2986 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@unique32journalist I know, I have my popcorn ready haha 😁

    • @TeKnoVKNG23
      @TeKnoVKNG23 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      The statistics don't lie...you're already going in at a 50% chance.

    • @jamiemoulton2986
      @jamiemoulton2986 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@TeKnoVKNG23 also don't forget, every second of your life, you're getting slightly closer to dying... Oh and by the way, those hotel sheets on your last business trip were probably not very clean. *ahem* excuse me if I choose to be slightly less pessimistic in general.

    • @TeKnoVKNG23
      @TeKnoVKNG23 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I don't go on business trips so not to worried about that. You can be less pessimistic, no one said you couldn't be, I was just citing the statistics and showing why IMO a lot of people are turned off to marriage these days. It's probably also my own personal experience watching pretty much all of my friends get married in their early 20s and then go through really bad divorces in their mid-late 20s, plus watching my own parents fight for 26 years and my dad go through 2 divorces of his own. I've rarely in my own personal experience seen it work out well. I do have two sets of friends who have been happily married for 10+ years, but they are the exception to my experience thus far and once they had kids their marriage got quite a bit more rocky. It isn't for everyone, and the people who look at it that way are entitled to their opinion also. If you know walking into it that you already stand a 50% of it not working out and losing half your assets when it might not even be your fault, it is completely fine to be cautious and have a negative thought toward the idea when it's a complete coin flip.

  • @szqsk8
    @szqsk8 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    I met my late husband Nov 1979, got engaged Feb 1980, got married Aug 1980. He was 31, I was 21. We were married up until Mar 31, 2019 when he died suddenly. We never gave getting married any deep thought or had any counseling beforehand. We agreed we wanted no kids. Things seem tougher now for couples than in the 80s.

    • @Mexicobeanpole
      @Mexicobeanpole 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I’m so sorry for your loss.
      I met my husband in 1980. We’ve been together since. We didn’t give much thought to a lot of it. We dated for a year or 2. Lived together for a few years. Then got married. The only thing we agreed on was not having children as well. The “why not” questions about children didn’t end until I was about 40 though. Lol.

  • @araineacutebrownnurse7315
    @araineacutebrownnurse7315 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    “ She really came into a mess .” Yeah right Dave . You’re daughter-in-law walked into a very very blessed life and that’s for sure.

  • @yankeemockingbird4985
    @yankeemockingbird4985 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Work on the pre marriage gig before the wedding. Exactly like Dave says. This is not a play time event. Why enter into the marriage with more problems than you need. Think and work it before you leap.

  • @_jasminedy
    @_jasminedy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    100% know your partner in and out before marrying the person! See if your personality is compatible with him/her. It will be easier working things out if you know who your dealing with. 13 years strong in my relationship and I’m almost 30 🥰🙏🏽

    • @marktheshark2569
      @marktheshark2569 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Did u get married at 17?

    • @_jasminedy
      @_jasminedy 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I was with my husband since I was 16 but I married him two years ago. Father of both my kids. I married him when it felt right not because “it was the right thing to do” 🥰👌🏽

  • @ezequieln.8957
    @ezequieln.8957 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    If you play this video on 0.5× Dave sounds hammered giving marriage and divorce advice 🤣🤣🤣
    By the way I LOVE Uncle Dave! Almost Debt free and hopefully I go and do a debt free scream!! I watch him everyday !!

  • @cconroy1677
    @cconroy1677 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Don't get married knowing your entire life situation will change right after. Make sure you know where you both will work, that you won't be moving unless you have both been hoping to get out of your current place and know what the new place is like. Make sure you are staying close to family if you love being near your family. Do not assume that person will be capable of filling in for everything that is missing if you up and change environments. They are there to comfort you in unexpected times of need, don't cause those times of need by upending your whole life while getting used to married life.

  • @robioavion
    @robioavion 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Just don’t do it if you have second doubts.

  • @waterpoolblue
    @waterpoolblue 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    High school? Check.
    Have a job? Check.
    Got married before kids? Oops!

  • @tripleekitchen...6676
    @tripleekitchen...6676 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    Yes agreed, godly pre marriage counseling is excellent.

    • @cindylong624
      @cindylong624 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      discuss your upbringing-both good and negative.-how it affected you,etc.

  • @CerronPritchett
    @CerronPritchett 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    There is no way to divorce proof any marriage that's like saying how can I death proof my life there is no way to do that.

    • @IWantToMature85
      @IWantToMature85 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Cerron Pritchett many marriages work though

    • @893263007
      @893263007 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This logic is very dangerous. It's like saying, "I'm going to eat McDonalds every day because you can't death proof your life by eating healthy." Obviously nothing is 100%, but actions have huge effects on the chances.

    • @CerronPritchett
      @CerronPritchett 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Just don’t get married plain and simple there will be no divorce then but people have to toe the line and think it won’t happen to them until it happens to them.

    • @apples8872
      @apples8872 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@CerronPritchett
      Yes but you have to be upfront about that with your partner. I’ve seen plenty of men tell their girlfriend or baby momma that they will eventually which leads to future arguments years down the road when no question has been popped.

  • @Accune
    @Accune 5 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    Both husband and wife being committed to the Lord Jesus Christ.

    • @phemjay3597
      @phemjay3597 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      That is Greatest secret of making any Marriage work, both individually commitment to Christ .

    • @bryanjacobs1423
      @bryanjacobs1423 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Amen

    • @ketinarenea8499
      @ketinarenea8499 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      And each other

    • @Elizabeth-yg2mg
      @Elizabeth-yg2mg 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Poppycock. Why is it christians go around blithering about jc? You don't hear buddhists preaching about buddha or muslims about their god. And where is this god? In the center of the earth, living in what we know is just molten rock? Or out in space, where there's no god to be seen? He/she has to be somewhere. Where then?

    • @Brandon-tz5pn
      @Brandon-tz5pn 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wrong

  • @eatpigsnot
    @eatpigsnot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    another thing is i think many people marry due to societal, cultural, familial, religious, etc... pressure. only marry if you find someone you want to marry. there is still a stigma, not huge but it's there, if someone doesn't marry. not everyone wants to marry, it's a mathematical impossibility for everyone to marry, plus there's more to marriage than math. marry only if you find the right person. not perfect, no such person exists, but don't be forced into marriage thinking "i'll make it work" or "i'll get through it." that's a recipe for disaster. same for having children

  • @dontworry1568
    @dontworry1568 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I wish I wouldve thought about this before marrying my first wife.... everyone in her family had been divorced or cheated... Me being dumb... no she wont do that to me... wrong. exactly what happened.

  • @fuhgeddaboutit7848
    @fuhgeddaboutit7848 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Did anyone notice how he was ready to mute the caller until he realized it was genuine?

  • @MC-zx3vp
    @MC-zx3vp 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Hopefully she is as concerned as he is and wants to work together because that's what marriage entails.

  • @crimansizers5840
    @crimansizers5840 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    1. money + fiances / education
    2. kids
    3. religion / politics
    4. In-laws
    5. Age + maturity / dating length ( don't get married at 20- your too young . Don't get married w/o dating for long enough to truly know the person)
    6. Prenup ( I may get some raised eyebrows but in 2018, a prenup is just like marriage insurance. While you guys love each other decide how you want to split things up in case of divorce. The sad thing is that we are all humans and when we are in pain during a divorce we don't think logically and end up hurting each other. )
    Keep fighting the good fight Dave.

  • @Cyphlix
    @Cyphlix 5 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    "How to make russian roulette safe"

  • @sleepisnotnecessary2161
    @sleepisnotnecessary2161 5 ปีที่แล้ว +129

    I love how redpilled Dave's audience is about financially protecting yourself from women.

    • @johnnyjameson3641
      @johnnyjameson3641 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      More and more guys are learning. Hopefully more will learn the easy way and not the hard way

    • @quoteme.goddess6957
      @quoteme.goddess6957 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      😆😆😆 It helps so much to do so. I like how you've said "red pilled."

    • @MickeyR6
      @MickeyR6 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Divorce court is a win win situation for women. There is no incentive for a man in divorce court. Women always marry up financially it's been proved. As men we have everything to lose. The only good thing about Divorce court is that it will show you your soon to be ex wife's true colors.

    • @quoteme.goddess6957
      @quoteme.goddess6957 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@MickeyR6 I paid for my divorces. My husband's have our kids. Times are changing. I had to split my business and property. Not ALL women get to keep everything.

    • @MickeyR6
      @MickeyR6 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@quoteme.goddess6957 so he's part of the low 20% good for him. Lucky guy.

  • @dieselmutt8865
    @dieselmutt8865 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    To divorce proof your marriage you need to first be sure you are not marrying a narcissist because there is no recovering from that.

    • @SnookOnTheFly
      @SnookOnTheFly 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yeah I learned this the hard way. My marriage counselor says my wife and father in law have an enmeshed relationship with narcissistic tendencies. The father in law is the narcissist. The man is an absolute cancer and has brainwashed my wife to be his surrogate wife from an early age. You can see her struggle between wanting to break free and feeling guilty to be anything other than his little girl. Everything and everyone are his. She’s not my wife; she’s his daughter. He’s a lunatic!

  • @Irene-gq4jr
    @Irene-gq4jr 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Chicken and egg. If folks are sorted and disciplined enough to *want* to do things in that sequence they've got a better chance of being smart enough to know how to choose the right partner, resolve conflict and stay married. As well as this, how many of those 50% of failures can be attributed to the same people with multiple failed marriages?

  • @richardramfire3971
    @richardramfire3971 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I believe if divorce is common in your family it’s more likely. They think it’s normal

  • @paolal3497
    @paolal3497 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I always get the impression that Rachel is his favourote child

  • @Scorpiomaj27889
    @Scorpiomaj27889 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I wonder if this book looks at causation versus collation.
    If you don't have kids before you're married - this indicates maturity and character.
    If you don't live together before you're married - this indicates maturity and character.
    If you attend worship together/know religion - this indicates maturity and character.
    If you go to college (planning for a career) - this indicates maturity and character.
    If you've worked hard/long enough to earn $50K - this indicates maturity and character.
    If you're a no good loser and you go do those things (other than church), you probably don't become that much less of a loser. Sounds more like a personality type.

  • @ruthirwin8222
    @ruthirwin8222 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    My daughter went and at least one couple did not continue to marriage

  • @LOLEliSays
    @LOLEliSays 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Great advice Dave!!!!

  • @banderson5676
    @banderson5676 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I checked all the boxes. Educated, didn't live together, no kids prior, went to church, she still cheated. Don't get married.

  • @Kitchissime
    @Kitchissime 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love this. Thank you so very much sir.

  • @vinnyt.8027
    @vinnyt.8027 5 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    Separate bank accounts and prenup

    • @shanesanders2255
      @shanesanders2255 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Prenup is now a joke. Most judges ignor the prenups.

    • @NotShowingOff
      @NotShowingOff 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Plus prenups don’t avoid a divorce. The point is not to hate each other.

    • @Tubular1517
      @Tubular1517 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      You should NEVRR have a separate bank acct when married. This causes division. Combine your life combine your money.

    • @_flyguy_
      @_flyguy_ 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Start a business..put cars, property in an LLC. Check with your tax guy.

    • @jomontanee
      @jomontanee 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Tubular1517 Totally agree. It's a huge sign of inability to trust in each other.

  • @RonJohn63
    @RonJohn63 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I see some possible confusion between correlation and causation.

    • @katy3901
      @katy3901 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Exactly. Especially with the "living together before marriage". Logically, that's saying to me that those couples are more likely to be heavily religious, and hence be from communities which inherently discourage divorce, even when it's arguably in the best interests.
      It's like how ice cream consumption correlates with skin cancer rates. Not because the ice cream causes cancer, but because people eat ice cream in warm weather and therefore have greater sun exposure.

  • @ilovejettrooper5922
    @ilovejettrooper5922 ปีที่แล้ว

    Do you guys have these stats available for download?? Especially the ones you cited at the end.

  • @marleneclough3173
    @marleneclough3173 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    It is true money issues cause divorce but the money issues are also a symptom if the fact that your idea of your partner role is different to theirs

  • @misspriss2482
    @misspriss2482 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    There is no such thing as "divorce-proofing" a marriage. No marriage or partner is perfect. One or the both of you will always have grievances that make divorce look viable. I think a lot of people get divorced today because starting over is easier than fixing the relationship. Two people must make the decision to commit to that marriage and work on it and themselves every day. No matter what problem comes up, they have to be willing to honestly work through it, compromise, and put the other person before themselves. Divorce cannot be an option for either person.

  • @eatpigsnot
    @eatpigsnot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    it seems living together before marriage would help a marriage. how can having a trial run be a bad thing? why would anyone marry someone, pledging to spend their life with them, if they haven't lived with them first? also i've seen plenty of bad parents who were married and plenty of good parents who were not, and i bet i'm not the only one

    • @chardelinecaraballo9866
      @chardelinecaraballo9866 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I know a whole lot of people, including my husband and I, who didn't live together before marriage and are doing just fine. I don't think living together is a viable prerequisite. It creates expectations that can mess with you once you're married if the person doesn't live up to it.

    • @eatpigsnot
      @eatpigsnot 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@chardelinecaraballo9866 i don't know. it sure seems like having a trial run so to speak is a good thing. not saying if you don't it can't work, but i would sure test drive a car before buying it. with cash of course

    • @jomontanee
      @jomontanee 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      No, not always. Living together for a long time robs excitement, romance and appreciation from the couple. If you live together for a certain period of time such as 1 year to test if you both can have a compatible lifestyle and have peace in 1 roof, that's ok. But lovers who just live together for so long like 5-10 years without marriage future, it's a red flag.

    • @Eaglejake
      @Eaglejake 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jomontanee I'll ask for some empirical data on that ("robs excitement, Romance and appreciation from the couple"........."red flag")....so, in the meantime, I won't hold my breath.
      Without using the word "fear"........living together, without the Government Marriage License, keeps both partners on their best behavior.......keeps them on their toes....... in 2019. Too many signed Government Marriage License partners think they have won the lottery, in a sense, and take the pack off (eventually quit their job, gain tons of weight, become stay-at-home people, pursue their hobby without their partner, become controlling, and indulge in their addictive personalities) within 3-5 years. Your partner should not accept you, but rather, keep pushing you to be better, and be a better person.

    • @carultch
      @carultch 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@lisabajada3558 Like getting married really exit-strategy-proofs your relationship anyway! All it does is raise the stakes in favor of (usually) the woman at the expense of the man. If you don't get married, the stakes are balanced, and you both have equality in your exit strategy.

  • @keno8070
    @keno8070 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    prenup and talk to a lawyer before you get married

    • @johnnyjameson3641
      @johnnyjameson3641 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Woman cries to judge, judge invalidates prenup, you lose half your stuff. Better luck next time. Take the red pill bro.

    • @BrandonKuptzMusic
      @BrandonKuptzMusic 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Yup! Lawyer can claim the wife was "under duress" and "forced" to sign a prenup and the entire thing gets thrown out of court by the judge!

    • @jasonmatthews52
      @jasonmatthews52 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Prenups aren't worth the paper they're written on. They're easily thrown out and are used only to provide a false sense of security.

    • @nobad6134
      @nobad6134 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@jasonmatthews52 It depends. A carefully drafted prenup in a competent jurisdiction will be upheld. New York regularly upholds prenups. Depends which state you live in and its local laws. Get a prenup plus hide or secure certain assets either offshore or in crypto currencies that won't get declared with the government upon a divorce.

    • @brianbest6097
      @brianbest6097 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Also, a prenup doesn't stop CHILD SUPPORT which is used for her necessities to so your basically indirectly paying for alimony also

  • @coconutsfor2963
    @coconutsfor2963 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    You never really know who you marry. People usually change every 5 years . I suggest, study FAMILY LAW in your state before you let the GOVERNMENT AKA MARRIAGE in your life , to see how risky it is in your state, In florida its horrible for Men . Check the pros and cons --- Most likely you'll change your mind

    • @johnnyjameson3641
      @johnnyjameson3641 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      They say you don't know your wife until she divorces you.
      Also, there are no pros to mariage for a man

    • @jomontanee
      @jomontanee 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      You should know who you marry. If your spouse changes drastically there must be a reason, always and always. Problems just don't come up instantly.

    • @coconutsfor2963
      @coconutsfor2963 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Trust me , she will change with time- Just like You Will Change with time. From Music, politics, Clothes you wear , church you might go to - so on and so on . Were human ,we cant change That my friend

    • @fnordiumendures138
      @fnordiumendures138 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@jomontanee Possibly. That does not mean that the man is the cause of these problems or can do anything about them.

  • @yarossnydertime6225
    @yarossnydertime6225 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    College has completely zero correlation with success in marriage, being fiscally responsible and caring ahead on your neck has more correlation with success in marriage. In fact if you went to college and you have a long rap sheet and you bring that into a relationship that way it might poison your future relationship in a marriage

    • @randymorrison1761
      @randymorrison1761 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      So clearly you need to go back to school. Do you know the meaning of the word "correlation?"Clearly you do not. The word you are looking for is 'causation.'

  • @stephenmartin2209
    @stephenmartin2209 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Keep up the good work David. God bless you and the Lord use you to lead lost and His sheep in Jesus name.

  • @yamamancha
    @yamamancha 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    The odds of marriage/divorce are 50-50. The odds for blackjack are 48%.
    Is there a study or simulation that compares the cost of marriage/family life vs. gambling that money at the blackjack table?
    For example, it takes about $250,000/child from birth to age 18, so the marriage single earner with 2 kids spends nearly $1 million on the wife and 2 kids over the course of 20 years.
    Which one would come out on top? $1 million on raising or family or $1 million at the blackjack table?

  • @mlyon2992
    @mlyon2992 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Don't get Married....there, I just fixed the problem stopped someone from losing 1/2 their money

  • @cloakofanonymity
    @cloakofanonymity 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Put your spouse first ahead of your friends and family.

    • @funkyzone431
      @funkyzone431 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ....and when she ask you to do something or go to the store for her, JUST DO IT NOW NOT NEXT DAY !!!!!

  • @brandonslatton6328
    @brandonslatton6328 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I love how criticism seems to spawn yet not one of you actually address the issue and just say don't get married. If you aren't smart enough to make your own marriage work then maybe you shouldn't give advice. Dave always says don't listen to someone who is broke on financial advice. Same thing here. Also if he is so "red-pilled" then why are you here if you aren't.

    • @rerungirl
      @rerungirl 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Brandon Slatton I don’t understand your grammar exactly, but Ramsey is marriage is 25 years + he has the right to give advice.

    • @brandonslatton6328
      @brandonslatton6328 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@rerungirl I was agreeing with Dave and replying based on comments below. My comment was to address the multiple comments below saying don't get married yet offer no advice on how a marriage is to work or last. As for grammar we can flag each other all day long. You need something separating the "+ and he" above. However my intention was not a proofreading match.

    • @briancobbin1412
      @briancobbin1412 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Brandon Slatton im in a good marriage. And id still tell all men not to get married. And im happily married.

    • @brandonslatton6328
      @brandonslatton6328 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@briancobbin1412 Would you marry again? If so then you can't take your own advice. If not then you aren't happily married. I would never tell anyone not to get married, but the reason is only that I don't want involved in someone else's life. Marriage isn't a bad thing, but people think it is a tool and use it for the wrong purposes. But everyone has an opinion. That is mine.

  • @LTJuni0r
    @LTJuni0r 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    The only way to avoid getting divorced is to avoid getting married.

    • @bryanjacobs1423
      @bryanjacobs1423 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      No. You can avoid getting divorced by resolving never to divorce your spouse and marrying someone who feels the same way. This "all or nothing" attitude is the attitude of cowards. "The only way to make sure you don't break your leg skiing is to not ski" Or you can learn how to ski properly and be confident in your ability.

  • @kay22100
    @kay22100 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Read "When sinners say I do"

  • @texan903
    @texan903 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Not marrying in the first place is the best way to divorce proof your marriage.

  • @grcdtgrw
    @grcdtgrw 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Dave Ramsey sir! Have you ever thought of making a dating app? I think it would be a kick! :D

    • @thecurrentmoment
      @thecurrentmoment 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Just type in your household income, debt, assets, etc and match with like-minded people

  • @priusa8113
    @priusa8113 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    What’s the name of the book please? And the author? Thanks a lot

    • @re1100
      @re1100 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Shaunti Feldhahn, the good news about marriage

  • @davidchester429
    @davidchester429 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    As much as I love Dave I genuinely don't know why people get married these days. Seriously what benefit is there for a man to get married these days? All you are doing is inviting solicitors and judges into the end of your relationship and I definitely do NOT trust them!

  • @shanesanders2255
    @shanesanders2255 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Don't get married, you wont get divorced.

  • @jeremywheeler8417
    @jeremywheeler8417 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I wish Dave spoke more about how unbiblical divorce is, as well as remarriage after divorce.

  • @Lorrowen1
    @Lorrowen1 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Good god! Divorce before marriage

  • @l.s8904
    @l.s8904 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Don't get married!

  • @mitzisnails9209
    @mitzisnails9209 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Yes. Catholic Church has great premarriage counseling!!

    • @mandysimmons2769
      @mandysimmons2769 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      yes. We made it 33 years but our Priest quit to marry later himself. LOL I bet he saw how good we were going to be. LOL ( no body's perfect lol )

  • @redwolfoutcast114
    @redwolfoutcast114 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You can't divorce proof any marriage in the era of no fault divorce. Even if you get a prenuptial agreement the judge often throws it out ,so where does that leave you?

    • @IWantToMature85
      @IWantToMature85 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Redwolf Archive what is no fault divorce?

    • @IWantToMature85
      @IWantToMature85 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Local Fixx wow, that sucks that the courts allow this

  • @MickeyR6
    @MickeyR6 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    If divorce is all over her family tree, you have a huge chance that your marriage will end as well. Especially if her parent's got divorced. I would never sign a marriage contract. Especially in this day in age.

    • @willa1699
      @willa1699 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Miguel Navarrete this isn’t true.

    • @MickeyR6
      @MickeyR6 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@willa1699 sure it isn't 👍😁

    • @willa1699
      @willa1699 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      At the end of the day, it boils down to the individual. Not everyone comes from a 2 parent home but that doesn’t mean they aren’t the marrying type. There are many who’ve been surrounded by marriages and don’t want to ever be married just as there are people who’ve had single parent households that are happily married. By you saying that, you’re basically saying most millennials can never be married because most come from divorced homes. Previous generations, many married for support, finances, pedigree and regretted it and those that are getting married nowadays are more likely seeking love especially now that women don’t need to RELY on a man’s income for survival. Instead more focus is on what both individuals can create together (as it should be) and that has NOTHING to do with your parents choices. You might have some learned behaviors or traumas that you may need to figure out as an adult but everyone has some kind of baggage whether they are aware of it or not. But if people focus on loving themselves first and growing together, they can have a great marriage, even if it’s the first marriage in their family (for decades) and they just might be able to teach their parents and family members a lesson on love just by doing differently from them. Like I mentioned, it all depends on the individual.

  • @DanielGarcia-zz9eg
    @DanielGarcia-zz9eg 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Get your education on
    Get your job
    get the women
    Then get your family on
    Last thing is get a home

    • @carultch
      @carultch 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Johnny Five Just get fixed and hire hookers. You might as well. Women are either on sale to the highest bidder, or for rent to thousands of men.

  • @TheRealestRT
    @TheRealestRT 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    It’s better to marry than to burn 🔥

    • @bgibson5517
      @bgibson5517 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You can still suffer if you marry the someone that is not for you.

    • @TheRealestRT
      @TheRealestRT 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      B Gibson I agree that’s why you have to use God given discernment and wisdom when selecting a spouse! I have watched my two older brothers go through a divorce but they married narcissistic women! However, stay encouraged there are still some good women and men out there! 💐

    • @phemjay3597
      @phemjay3597 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @ The Realest RT, Great Advice , Great Perspective there.

    • @carmeshacarrington6718
      @carmeshacarrington6718 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@TheRealestRT just to add ppl most also remember that we all are human and are not perfect. Mistakes are bound to happen. Sometimes you would have to put in more work at times then your partner. And PRAY!

  • @msxeunybunxy
    @msxeunybunxy 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I honestly don’t know if I’d trust a pastor at a church to give me marriage counseling 🤷🏽‍♀️ churches aren’t confidential. Maybe I’d pay a Christian counselor in their own private practice

  • @rickm6076
    @rickm6076 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Prenup and even consider a postnup as things change. Those are more important than separate accts. There’s never a guarantee, but it gets you closer to a guarantee that both are there for love

    • @rickm6076
      @rickm6076 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      That’s what my lawyer told me, so better to do a prenup and then a postnup. Those are more powerful.

  • @Caroltrujillov
    @Caroltrujillov 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Am I tripping? Why there’s only captions in Russian and not English

  • @brandon18054
    @brandon18054 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    What kind of stupid oxymoron is this? You avoid divorce by avoiding marriage, especially as a man in today’s society.

  • @nikkighuman7781
    @nikkighuman7781 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Where can I find pre marital counselling if I’m not Christian? I would love to have these discussions with someone but I’m pretty sure my local church wouldn’t provide this service to non christians

    • @lucid1975
      @lucid1975 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Was going through alot with my spouse but I'm glad I came across SPYBRUNO on Instagrm, he got me access into her phone and I saw how much of a cheat she was,she's my ex now though..

    • @YA291990
      @YA291990 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      There are non-religious pre-marriage counselors out there. You can also consider the priest of your place of worship (temple, mosque, church, etc.).

    • @TM-dj8dr
      @TM-dj8dr 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Of course they would. Otherwise they wouldn't be Christians.

  • @crazyleaf257
    @crazyleaf257 ปีที่แล้ว

    Great!!

  • @erikrohr4396
    @erikrohr4396 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Asking a question like this makes me think one's not sure about who one's marrying. I never would have asked this question. Is it just me?

  • @danielrierson6683
    @danielrierson6683 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Do whatever she wants and let her do whoever she wants lol

  • @JLJ8039
    @JLJ8039 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I was raised Catholic. I would not claim they do a fantastic job with premarital counseling.

    • @IWantToMature85
      @IWantToMature85 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Linda Julia well, he knows some that it worked it for. Don’t let past situations change your opinions of things

    • @alishaschlipp3784
      @alishaschlipp3784 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Not Roman Catholic, he means Christian.

    • @TM-dj8dr
      @TM-dj8dr 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@alishaschlipp3784 he means protestant Christian. Catholics are Christians, just a different denomination of Christianity.

  • @AusyG
    @AusyG 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I have NEVER, NEVER seen any relationship or marriage fail if God was in the center

  • @colombianmexi
    @colombianmexi 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Dr. Laura Schlessinger

  • @JT1652
    @JT1652 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The only certain way to prevent getting a divorce is to never get married in the first place.

    • @amandaryan3263
      @amandaryan3263 3 ปีที่แล้ว

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  • @nealp885
    @nealp885 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    No such thing

  • @sunnydays4966
    @sunnydays4966 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    How to get divorce to zero - Simple don't married it government program.

    • @jutde
      @jutde 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      "I love you so much that I want to get the government involved!"

    • @rockwithyou2006
      @rockwithyou2006 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jutde Funny. But it really translates to "I want to commit to you so HARD, that if one of us chooses to leave, I will give you my children, pay alimony, child support, lawyer fees and half of my assets."

  • @vdoggydogg3922
    @vdoggydogg3922 9 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Pre-marriage counseling is fine if you take the religion out of it. Just talk to someone who has been married a long time that you trust.

  • @LR-kj8ec
    @LR-kj8ec 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    The caller is young but mature, a real man; and not a grown boy. Well done & god bless for your future plans

  • @eckankar7756
    @eckankar7756 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    What if this caller asked about marrying another man, what would Dave say? Would he have taken that call?

  • @myopinion8882
    @myopinion8882 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What does "red pilled" in the comments section mean? Never heard this saying in Australia!

    • @susiem.2068
      @susiem.2068 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      It's a reference to both the movies Matrix (red pill vs. blue pill) and a social media plateform where males (some very toxic others not) talk about different subjects related to manhood and the male experience where they're from. They also give tips sometimes.

    • @dogedude9537
      @dogedude9537 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      It's from the Matrix movies, It means you're aware of reality.

  • @Cantspeakable
    @Cantspeakable 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I don’t see how living together first hurts the marriage.

    • @trinityxvii
      @trinityxvii 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      same

    • @YA291990
      @YA291990 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      People usually change after marriage.

  • @brianbest6097
    @brianbest6097 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    PEOPLE NEED TO STOP ACTING LIKE MARRIAGE IS THE HOLY GRAIL SMH ITS NOT THAT SERIOUS. EVERYTHING IS NOT EVERYONE!

  • @alexbarnes9364
    @alexbarnes9364 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Either do it right or don't do it at all. Kids arent a good enough reason.

  • @jimperrone8355
    @jimperrone8355 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Read Gods word together and pray together first and foremost.

  • @jeffrichey3623
    @jeffrichey3623 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Get rid of no-fault divorce. No-fault divorce laws have single-handedly destroyed the contract of marriage. Nothing else has impacted it more.

  • @ronwhiteleo3352
    @ronwhiteleo3352 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    You should never marry in DEBT.... never, never, never.. college graduates does not keep marriage.. that was stupid.. Dont believe this Shaunti woman,, she is going to lead you down the wrong road..