A lot of adults were not taught about how to handle money from out parents, I know I wasn't. I made it a goal to educate and question my nieces and nephews about it. I found this blog which helped a lot and I sent it to them (they are preteens) - millennialsvsmoney.com/raising-financially-responsible-children/
That sounds awesome! But if I was your son...and I did alot of chores and asked you for something and you said no....I would accept that....but if you said " clean the bathroom" I would say Yes Ma'am and clean it! Not because I would be getting something, but because you told me to! Js
I used to get a small allowance and at 13 I sat down my parents to have a serious talk with them. Telling them my classmates went to see a movie every Monday and my allowance was only half the ticket price. Their answer: "Need more money? Get a job then!" Me: "But I'm 13!" About a week later they told me they found me a job babysitting the neighbor's toddler who lived in the same building. The money I made there didn't only make me feel extremely proud and grown up but also prevented teenage pregnancy.
Never had an allowance as a kid. My parents bought me things I needed and honestly, I never felt a need to have an allowance. 🙂 I also knew how to appreciate money this way when I started making some or I got some for my birthday 🙂
In a world that capitalises on everything it very hard to accept full financial dependency. Imagine you, an adult woke up one day to know that your rent and electric and other basic needs are all paid for but you get no money besides that. In order to have to get something that makes you happy you have to do some insane amount of paperwork and requesting. You would be very dissatisfied with your life. In an objective sense you have everything you could need. But there are something's that you aquire just because you feel your life will be a bit better with it. When you are a child, you don't work or when you do you don't have a very high end job. Definitely not the most highly paying job you will ever have. Why? Because you go to school, you are still young and there is no way for you to have the resources to support yourself. But your fundamental human nature doesn't change. There are still things you may not need but you do want. And your parents will probably only see very few of them worth getting. Will your mother stop every few days to satisfy your chocolate craving? Will your dad see the reason why you absolutely need a specific eyeshadow palette? These are things that some money given by your parents, who cannot satisfy every thing you want but are willing to let you get for yourself can buy. They do not need to know everything in your drawers and closets. They can just let you choose to get the few things that you want with the limited money they give you so you won't have to tear your hair out convincing them.
parijat shukla your logic is flawed. It’s based on the premise that children are the social equals of adults. There is a good reason a parent would say no to satisfying a daily chocolate craving or why that palette of eye shadow is not necessary. Children do not have the same level of knowledge and experience and wisdom that adults have. Therefore their wants; decisions and desires are not always good or wise. This is also why parents are responsible for supervision of children, in many areas of life. A child is and should be financially dependent on adult control and supervision. It is not and should not be viewed as a humiliating thing during childhood. This is not about needs of human nature, it’s about parents being in charge when children do not have the maturity and skills to manage things themselves.
Same here! I started making money when I was 8 by collecting pop cans and I appreciated my first pay from that more than anything! Now I keep that way of thinking never lost it. I value and am very careful with my hard earned money.
I live in a different country and I don’t think allowance is a thing. Which is why I’m kinda iffy about it. My parents provided me with everything I needed and if I wanted to buy something that was more expensive or not a necessity we talked about it and figured out some kind of deal. They also gave me money whenever I asked for it. But they never “payed” me for chores, since that’s something we all have to help with regardless of what we might get from it.
I never got an allowance, my parents just got me things when I needed them and sometimes as a treat. I was just expected to do chores and it never seemed weird to me.
Lol! Its common in Asian countries, particularly in east and south east asia. Its like a norm. Its expected that chores are part of daily life. You dont get compensation for such work. I admit that i hate chores, but i tell you, at some point, it will help you become disciplined and you learn to value the money you get.
German parents are the same (at least mine). You help. No discussion. But if I wanted to go to the cinema with friends I also got money for that. But it was not for the work it was because my parents are nice and wanted me to have fun.
In Romania parents get a certain amount of money from the government for each child they are caring for. We call that allowance. If the family is not strained financially and you are a bit older, parents might let you have that money. At least mine did. I don't know how it works now, but back in the day we received a small notebook with one page for each month and we would go to the post office and the lady at the counter would rip off the page corresponding to the previous month and give us the amount specified there. My parents would encourage me to save the money (basically postpone going to the post office, so when I did, I could take out a couple of months' worth all at once). They'd ask what I planned on doing with it and shared their thoughts on that. Otherwise, I had to ask if I needed/wanted something that I couldn't get on my own and they'd decide if it was possible. They'd usually give me some small change for bus tickets or a snack at school (if I ran out of money, though not necessarily - as the only child in a family of average means I was a quite spoiled).
This is not true. Its not called an allowance, but we do get money, most kids do. And we use it for when we go to school, to buy extra food or snacks, buy whatever you want and need aand you need to have enough leftover if you plan to do something with your friends. Example, if you want to go to an arcade or a movie, they will bring u there but you should have money for your own ticket.
Haha. I still remember the concept of pocket money being introduced to me by my best friend. I must have been about 8. I was so confused, like, “Your parents just _give_ you money...?”
My son got an allowance just for existing. It was not tied to chores or doing the basics for himself. We started in kindergarten with $50 a month. Many parents would gasp at that amount, but there was a reason. Half of it went into a savings fund, so that left $25. That covered any books, treats, toys, etc. It stopped the whining at the store of 'I want...' because I would ask 'do you have enough money? All of a sudden he had to assess the situation. I'm going to say 85% of the time he put things back because they weren't worth it. If he wanted big ticket items he had to save up for to get them. Every year his allowance went up. In middle-school he saved his money & did extra chores around the neighborhood & saved up for his very own flat-screen TV (this was back when they were new thing). I'm going to say that he learned to shop to stretch his money by shopping smarter, price comparison, coupons & saving up for sales. He had his own ATM in high school. We supplied basic no frills sneakers. If he wanted the fancier ones he had to pony up the rest of the money, which he rarely did. His allowance paid for going out w/ his friends, movies, books, hobbies, etc. We didn't have to deal with "mom I need money', because he knew what he had to spend. It saved us money, because we saw what other parents were shelling out. Once in college he worked & had his own money. He paid for his own tuition, books etc. by looking for deals on used books (renting, too), saving & using the money he had saved up every month since kindergarten. He graduated w/ only $7,000 worth of student loan debt. I'm going to say that giving money to our son helped him to save & use his money wisely. No regrets.
This is an interesting perspective. It's definitely a valid albeit lesser utilised approach. Reading it, i find myself inexplicably thinking of someone I know whose Mom inadvertently established a pattern of buying away bad feelings for one of their kids throughout their life. Any upset or mishap, this mom would throw money at the situation and buy things to cheer the daughter up. Unfortunately, decades later, the daughter has yet to learn how to deal with the difficult bits of life without doing that. She's run herself into debt repeatedly and with greater consequence throughout her adult life. Her mom continued til the day she died trying to fix everything with money and also overextended herself financially in doing so, lost her home even. Family members and friends were forever bailing this woman out and offering a safety net with their carefully saved and managed money whilst the woman just recklessly squandered everything. She's defrauded numerous financial institutions and worked underhand/illegal deals to avoid responsibility for her financial chaos. Its always someone elses fault and she never stops or even curbs her spending. I don't think the op's method would work as well for every kid out their as it did for her sun, he seems paticularly ammenable to it, but all the samr, i can't help but think it would have saves most if not all of the financial hardship inflicted by the reckless selfish woman described above if the mother could have done this instead of what she did.
Exactly how my mom did it with my brother and me. And I think it taught us well. We didn't start out in Kindergarten and it wasn't the same amount, but that depends on where you live, too. I got a job when I finished school at 17 to spend some time in Spain, and also worked for the whole time I went to university now. I am not in debt, I know the value of money and I think I learned pretty early in life how good it feels to work hard to get something and then finally getting it. I kinda geht what she is trying to say, though. There are more than one right way to teach your kids.
My parents did the exact same. It started with a small amount, and kept growing as I got older. First it was to buy things I wanted, later it was also to buy gifts for friends and later for clothes. I would get twice a year 1 full outfit (coat, shoes, pants etc) and the rest was on me. My student debt was 1500 euros and I paid that back in a year. I am really good at saving money, putting money into funds and never had to ask ever someone for money which I am proud of. I had to do chores in the house and I did them, but not because my allowance was depending on it but because it was just our contribution to the household. I didn’t ask my parents for “fun” because it was there and all extra’s were on me. Did I buy candies? Yes I did but once I learned if I wanted good things I needed to save I stopped that. I feel like I benefited hugely from getting that allowance and the reasoning of mayim is not one I can relate to nor would I ever enforce on my own family if I were ever getting one.
I’ve been giving a small allowance ($2/week) to my children since they were 5. My reasons are as follows: 1. My husband and I model frugality daily and we speak honestly and appropriately about money with our children. But just as I wouldn’t expect them to learn to use a pencil simply by watching and talking about it I also don’t expect them to learn about money without first hand experience. The allowance I give them is a tool for hands on learning experiences. 2. It helps them evaluate their own values in terms of luxury. I provide for all their needs so everything they would buy is a want but I think it’s important for them to evaluate which of their wants add the most benefit to their life (because they can’t afford them all) and what cost are they willing to pay for that want or luxury. 3. Watching them interact with their own money gives me insight into their developing personalities. This insight allows me to see where I might adjust my parenting to help develop their values and responsibility. 4. Having “their own money” reduces shopping behavior issues because if they want something not on my list they have to have enough of their own money with them in order to purchase it. I don’t pay for chores, or for hygiene. I will pay extra for those more laborious jobs as were mentioned in the video. Although if they don’t complete their chores I will offer to do the chore for them if they’d like to pay me - although they usually can’t afford my rate 😉
Brianna Bickley. True growing up our allowance was usually twice a month and it was candy money. It was considered a treat. As we got older it was more and for stuff like roller skating or a movie. And yes if you learned to be frugal with it you saved up to get something you really wanted. Chores were not optional, if not done you lost privileges.
I grew up with an allowance for “snack” money. Did not get paid to do chores. They are considered part of your daily routine. If I wanted something frivolous, my parents told me to save my allowance. But the funny thing is, once I saved up enough money, I did not want to spend it just in case there’s something better that comes along and I won’t be able to afford it. It taught me how to budget.
Ana Oh Yes but thats also a large amount of money all at once. Although it is a valuable skill, it makes it a lot harder for children to learn impulse control over the long term. Its not real life to go for long periods of time without any money and then suddenly get a whole bunch, adults get paid every 2 weeks to a month and have to budget for things accordingly. When those birthdays come, having a regular small allowance makes it easier to evaluate the actual value of that money in comparison to how many weeks it takes for that child to make the money via allowance.
I had an allowance from the time I started school, to buy myself snacks, to save up for gifts for family and friends, etc.. Yes, I bought mostly junk food with my money, but also learned about saving for bigger things, and giving to others in need. My husband, on the other hand, was never given an allowance when he was growing up. The way he spends money as an adult drives me up the wall, as it's about instant gratification instead of prioritizing needs and wants. Our daughter is just two, and it'll be interesting to see how we choose to tackle this allowance issue when she's older.
I agree. Having an allowance is linked to having responsibility to use it wisely. The job for parents is helping to prepare for adulthood. There's not enough economic education.
I grew up getting an allowance, but it wasn't connected to behavior. I simply got it to understand the concept of money. If I wanted something I could safe up for it myself. It probably started with like 50 cents a week as a little girl up to 10 euros as a pre-teen. I got an allowance until I got my first job at 16 working at McDonald's :p. From that point I had to pay for my own cell phone plan, to add some extra responsibility into the money management. When I was 14 I became a vegetarian, and because my parents found it a bit difficult and I loved cooking and exploring foods, they challenged me to do my own grocery shopping for a month with 20 euros a week. This ended up becoming a thing for 4 years until I moved out at 18. I'm 23 now and I'm literally the only one of my friends who can actually manage my expenses to the point where I know exactly what comes in, what goes out and what is saved etc. So for me having an allowance from such a young age, really benefited me as an adult.
I didn’t get an allowance and I don’t have children, but I remember when my niece began receiving an allowance. She quickly began to understand the value of money. Before that, it was difficult to make her understand. She saved to buy things she wanted and if they broke easily or she outgrew something quickly, she would regret the purchase and become more selective moving forward. It really taught her to save, delay gratification, and think about needs rather than wants. I think it’s one of the many reasons she manages money so well today.
I think allowance can be a good tool if used right. My sister and I got an allowance, but half of it always went into a savings account that we had to deposit at the bank ourselves. Because of our allowance, we were able to make our own decisions and buy what we wanted, but that meant our parents almost never bought us stuff (other than school supplies). I'm grateful for it because it taught me how money worked, and taught me how to make good choices. They stopped giving us allowance when we could legally work, and I've worked for my money ever since.
I was thinking this also. My dad also told me that school was my job and I needed to study and do well. I was in no way being paid to go to school or being rewarded for good grades, however school was a "job" and I was expected to do well.
I agree and the way you describe is much the way we give allowances in our family. My son has had an bank account, that he is responsible for balancing, since he was 8 years old. Every other week his allowance is transferred into that account and the other weeks he receives cash. While he doesn't get an allowance for doing his normal chores he does earn money for doing certain "extra" chores that have a preset earning amount. Therefore his allowance fluctuates week to week. In my opinion this prepares him for the working world by teaching him that to earn money you need to choose to work hard. It also teaches him how to manage money and to save for items you really want. At 10 years old he has purchased both video game systems he owns through money he saved from his allowance. Our daughter is younger so we haven't started this with her yet but we are planning to soon.
I think I started to give my 3 year old twins an allowance so they could emulate dad's responsibility to pay for necessary things and to buy special things with left over money. Sometimes it takes a long time to buy special things.
My allowance was the roof over my head, the food in my belly, the cloth on my back, the shoes on my feet, the glasses I wear, the bed I sleep in, the blankets I use, the gas, electricity, the T.V, ect... oh don't forget the icecream.
A lot of adults were not taught about how to handle money from out parents, I know I wasn't. I made it a goal to educate and question my nieces and nephews about it. I found this blog which helped a lot and I sent it to them (they are preteens) - millennialsvsmoney.com/raising-financially-responsible-children/
I never got paid for doing chores. But my mum always made sure we received a monthly amount of money regardless of the chores. She just wanted us to have a little money to buy ourselves things we wanted and she made us get our big things like bikes, etc. I remember I felt very proud of myself when I got my first bike all by myself with my little monthly money.
But the fact is that you didn't do it "all by yourself" you paid for it with free money. In my opinion, this is worse than doing it for chores. At least with chores you're doing some work. But with this it prepares you to get free money for doing no work. Like benefits and welfare
When I was younger, my allowance was very important to me. It gave me the freedom to buy my own stuff and pay for my own soft drinks or candy when I was out with my friends. Buying a youth magazine (it's called Bravo and is still sold in my country today) was also very important to me. I didn't get the money for doing my chores, they were a part of our daily life, but being in school and unable to work in my free time, I'm very glad that my mother gave us some money to spend. My sisters and I didn't have to ask her every now and then when we needed some money and I think that's a very important part: Not asking for every gum, lollipop or magazine gave us some freedom we wouldn't have had otherwise until we were old enough to work after school. I also felt very guilty whenever I had to ask my mother for money. My weekly allowance helped a lot with that.
I agree with everything you wrote ( are you from Poland? I remember "Bravo"). I have never received allowance from my parents, more from lack of money rather than from any conscious parenting decision. I had a ton of chores from a very early age like cleaning the whole house with my sister starting from age 7 and it would have not occured to me to disobey or demand payment. However, I do not consider allowance to be a payment for doing chores around the house, which I absolutely agree that kids should not be paid for. In my opinion, getting allowance is a way of showing respect for your children. By sharing a tiny portion of the family money parents do not demonstrate their "superiority" just because they have the financial upper hand as in "we pay for your food/roof over your head etc., we control you, we are the bosses so you need to ask/beg for every tiny thing you want". I would have appreciated that kind of respect when I was young and dependent on my parents to survive.My daughter gets $3 a week and usually just enjoys keeping it in her little wallet and feeling very grown up. Until she is big enough to earn her own money, I want her to feel she deserves this allowance just because she is a part of the family, just like she deserves a home, food on the table, education etc.
@@sylel223 I agree with your thinking. If helping around the house is in keeping with being included in being an active member of the house, "sharing" a little of the income that comes in from the parents being able to work outside the home to earn money, should also be a part of being an active, participant of the house. Adults get to indulge sometimes, so why can't children be given an opportunity to choose their indulgences, (within reason and age appropriateness), without depending on the parents' determination of what is important to them. :)
My parents did exactly the same thing. I a weekly allowance. We were not paid to do chores. Was told to save my allowance if I wanted to buy frivolous things. 😊 It taught me how to budget and save.
I received an allowance from early age on, 7 or something, starting with 50ct per week. One day I wanted a baby born kitchen (150$ at the time) and I asked my mom how many weeks I would have to save to buy it. When she said "several years" it really made me realize value and cost of things and that I didn't want a baby born kitchen enough to save for several years. Till this day I think that is such an important lesson and also being able to really decide what you're gonna spend your money on and a especially what you're NOT gonna spend your money helped me to be responsible with my financials till this day. Anyway, just a little story. :) I'm sure there is many right ways.
Let me say, first, that I completely support your decision not to give your kids an allowance. This is *NOT* at all meant to be a criticism of your decision. But I do give my kids an allowance. I don't give it in exchange chores. I just give them a small amount. And the reason that I give it to them is the same reason I give them pencils and books and other things: I want them to practice using them. I want them to have had some money, I want them to spend it, and then I want them to know what it feels like to want something but have spent the money they had. They have chores, but they're not tied to the allowance. We do have extra chores that they can do for pay if they want. But that's up to them. As far as age for our kids: We started them with a weekly allowance at 5. The amount was $0.25 per year of age. So at 5 they got $1.25. We had them save 10%, giveaway 10% and then do whatever they wanted with the other 80%. We stopped allowances for our oldest 2 at 16 when they got drivers licenses and could reasonably go get a job. The younger 2 will stop allowance at 16 as well when they get there. Are there other ways to teach about the value of money? Of course! But an allowance was just easier for our family. Glad to hear you found some other way to teach your kids!
We use this concept too. I didn't want chores tied to allowance, but wanted her to learn to give, spend, and save. Chores are expected, as she is part of the household (and also will some day need to know how to do all this on her own); and if she wants to earn money, we have extra chores she can do.
This is exactly what most parents in Germany do. Kids get allowance usually around the age that they start school, not in exchange for anything, so that they can learn about money. The amount increases with age because activities like going to the movies don't include the parents any more, so kids pay for themselves with their allowance. In the beginning it's just enough to buy some candy or save it up for a cheap toy. I liked growing up like this!
That's how I was raised, minus the saving and giving away. It was entirely my decision what to do with my allowance (all gift money, or any other money I came into though had to go into my savings account for college). Conversely, my husband never got an allowance and he is still crappy with money.
@Tomorrow is another Day My parents tried the give up one of your old toys to get a new one trick. Then they felt bad for me never getting any new toys, and they dropped that stupid idea.
I remember on the show 'Everybody Hates Chris', Terry Crews yelling "Allowance? I ALLOW you to live in this house. I ALLOW you to use this gas. I ALLOW you to eat my food. I ALLOW you to turn on these lights..."
I got monthly allowance as a child, since age 9: all the money I would need for lunch in school and going out with friends in the weekends for an entire month upfront. My single mom was and still is so bad with money management that in the end of the month I'd have some savings to borrow her to buy some bread. I was so grateful I could just rely on myself and that's how I learned money management, paid my university, and still living without loans and debts.
I didn't get pocket money as a kid and it was extremely hard for me. Other kids could buy the occasional comic book or save up. I am great with money now, but for example terrible at buying myself food because I never used to be able to do that. I didn't eat lunch after school on many days. Also you just don't want your parents to know about every little thing you buy or might want to buy. I remember stealing a postcard once that had all 150 pokemon on it. It can be frustrating in the long run to have no choices at all.
Same. My parents would buy us stuff if we wanted, but it was pretty frustrating as a teen to have to ask for every little thing, especially since I didn’t have a lot freedom in other ways.
Yeah, my parents just didn't have money, so until I was 16 and got a job, I had 0 spending money. To this day, I have a hard time knowing what I like when clothes shopping and I think it's because I never got to pick out my own clothes ever (lived off of hand me downs).
My parents never gave me an allowance, they provide me with food, an education and clothing. When I wanted something extra they’d buy it or say no. I had to work in the fields if I wanted extra spending money. I disliked it but oh boy did it teach me about making money and the importance of saving and spending wisely. I never stole money even when other kids had brand clothing or fancy gadgets. I just told myself they’re parents were well off so they could afford to spend on such luxuries. So I decided to get good grades so I can make money and buy myself what I wanted but also not splurge my money on unnecessary items.
@@jaceyjacobs4013 I think having an issue with asking for every little thing is an issue with communication with parents and maybe wanting too much? I mean theres a time and age right where you can buy everything you want. Your parents know better and think more about the things you want. Looking back, if my parents did give me everything I had asked for I really would be regretting it today. And I dont know why it seems so wierd to go shopping or doing things with your parents? You can pick the clothes and have the "freedoms" as you say. Honestly your comment sounds a bit on the complainy/whiney side. Sorry i dont mean any offence, but I think your problems could have been easily solved from your side.
I'm on teenagers #5, 6 & 7 (including 2 foster children). I also used to work with troubled adloscents, learning a lot from pediatric psychologists. My kids get money every week. Every day they have 2 chores (on top of cleaning up their own messes). Those chores are just part of living in a home. If they have completed their chores, then there is a list of extra chores they can do for money, taking it as a job. Now, if they leave mess, they have one reminder to pick it up. If there has to be a 2nd reminder, then they have to do it that minute and they earned an extra chore to also be done right then. They call each other out & friends who were always here, sort of just fallen into our rules. I have walked in to my teen's friend vacuuming my living room. He told me he had to do something because he forgot to clean up after making a sandwich when at our house lol.
That's awesome! Lol. That reminds me of when I was little (probably around 10 years old.) My friend would always make a mess in my room and then leave so I was always left to clean the mess. I would get upset and my parents would tell me I was responsible for my room so I would need to clean it by myself if I didn't ask her to help me. It would happen every time. I got tired of her leaving me with the mess so one time she was over at our house with her parents (who were close family friends) and the minute she arrived I told her that we could play but she had to help me clean up before she left. She said ok. I told her I really meant it, that I was tired of being the only one putting things away after she left. I don't think she believed me. When her parents said it was time to leave, she got up and started walking towards my bedroom door. I got up, blocked the door and told her she wasn't allowed to leave my room until she helped me put the toys back in their place. She started crying to manipulate the situation and her parents and my parents came. I told them what happened and her parents agreed with me. That was the first time she helped me clean up and the last time she attempted to leave without helping me clean up lol. I learned my lesson and so did she.
There was no allowance in my house growing up. My mother taught me that there is a deep satisfaction obtained from doing things for others and yourself without getting a prize in return. I think it's one of the most important higher abstractions for a kid to have in their arsenal to lead an enriched life. Bravo, Mama!
I love this! I have never given my children an allowance...helping out around the house is part of being an active member in our family. Do I give them money when needed, yes...but it’s not a reward for helping take care of the house. We all live here, and we all need to help take care of our space!
I agree. Allowance for chores in the house? I think that's nonsense. My brother and I always did the chores, we had to do, together, so they were done pretty fast:)
Exactly my parents were the same way and I was as well. We always found odd jobs around the neighborhood or with our parents to what we wanted. Mostly around neighborhood. Like go to public swimming pool everyday.
My moms thing was she gave me a roof over my head, food in my belly, clothes to wear, and hot water to bathe in and I can definitely wash some dishes lol
Who says that allowances have to or should be tied to chores? Maybe you should give your children the money you would roughly pay for their school supplies, clothing aso and explain to them, that in the future they will have to pay for all this themselves. That will teach them how to actually manage money.
Everybody lives in the house, everybody contributes. As long as it's age appropriate then chores are part of everyday life. Schools (or parents if home schooled) teach children how to survive in the work place. Parents teach children how to survive life.
My husband and I have very much enjoyed giving our sons an allowance since my first son turned three. (10 years ago.) He received $4.00 dollars a week. One to savings, one dollar went to giving and two dollars went to spending. He did not earn the four dollars a week, he was simply given it. He still had/has chores to do no matter what but it did not have anything to do with his allowance. This prevents them from asking for things in the stores. They ask “may I have that” and I say “do you have enough money?” End of convo. No whining, no begging, just saving. This also teaches them about giving very early and they feel they are giving their own money, not mine. My 13-year-old has since learned how to put his money into investments. Over the last four or five years he bought a dirt bike, paid someone to repair it, sold it, built a small houseboat with my husband shared everything 50-50 sold it. Bought a regular small boat, cleaned it up paid a guy to fix the motor, sold it. This was all done with his money only except for the Houseboat because my husband LOVES houseboats. He recently just sold his first small mobile home. He tripled his money and it was done with only his money and paid dad for his time and worked alongside dad for the repairs, remodel etc. He also baked cakes for a restaurant for a period of time and made money that way which he separated into spend, save, give. All while still continuing to earn an allowance. His allowance is up to $12 a week. My younger son did not start earning an allowance until he was about six. He did not have the same understanding of it so we had to wait. That child gets his chores done every day, has nothing to do with his allowance. $8 a week. This is not enough money to make these children not want to earn more. They take on odd jobs from other people as well as from us and have a desire as adults to make their money work for them through intelligent investments.
Myam, I didn't get allowance either. My dad said if you want money set up a lemonade stand. This was 1963 and I made $11 that day and had to pay my mother $3 back for supplies. I learned the value of a dollar. I also learned how to be an entrepreneur. I worked for myself most of the 55 years I worked. I'm an artist and I sold my art I marketed my art, and I found a commercial way for my art to pay me. It was the most valuable lesson I've ever learned not getting allowance. It was perhaps one of the greatest gifts that my father ever gave me.
I relate to the bit about wearing the same clothes over and over that made me chuckle 😂 As a charity shop volunteer I appreciate your use of them, thanks for being so real 💕
I don’t think kids should be given an allowance for doing a few chores, house work should be divided equally based on age and ability (you’re not going to split chores 50/50 with a 5 year old, but a 8 year old can certainly do a few more things than a 5 year old). But I do agree, going out and doing yard work whether that be mowing, weed whipping, weeding the garden or things like that; do deserve some sort of compensation. Especially for a kid, those tasks can be very challenging.
As a child I helped out by doing laundry for my full time nursing student Mom, watching my baby sister so my Mom could get stuff done, doing housework and a little cooking. Knowing that I was helping my Mom and contributing to the family was reward enough for me.
I’m with you, No allowance. I never had an allowance for helping with the house chores growing up and I certainly knew the value of a dollar when I moved out on my own. I earned money growing up by doing things for the neighbors, such a babysitting, caring for pets while a neighbor was away, exercising horses. By the way, I adore you and your videos, you keep me smiling!
I say there are more pros than cons to giving allowance. My nephew is 13 and in his mind he does all the budgeting of what he wants based of what he gets. I don’t think he considers asking his parents for “their” money. He saves, etc. also he borrows from them, asks for extra jobs, and yes negotiates. But never straight out asks, hey will you buy this for me? I’m sure they had more conversation than: you do chores you get money. I definitely think they explain things along the way. But this is just one kids story. I’m sure there are many ways to do things, and each kid is different. Just from my personal experience I think it’s a good idea.
My sisters and I had the same experience growing up. We got a monthly allowance. If we didn't do our chores, poor on our homework and things like that, we didn't get any allowance. Me in particular didn't do quite a few of my chores and was somewhat lazy when it came to school. Many times I saw my sisters get allowance while I didn't. I got better over time. And now we still don't like to ask our mom for money because we feel we haven't earned it.
I got allowance BUT it was never tied to help cleaning :-) In our family everyone had a tasks and there was one day a week where the whole house was cleaned ( saturday......) and in summer f.e. it was my task to water the garden when the sun went down. On top of my saturday- tasks to clean the stairs and the bathroom and on top of helping every friday with shopping food for the week, my sisters had other things they needed to do. I never got money for tasks, just a general allowance. But I would also not get presents outside of birthdays/ celebrations ect. I wanted a comic -> allowance, I wanted to go to the movies with friends -> allowance, I wanted to buy birthday/christmas presents -> allowance. That way I had to budget. Do I really need that comic/magazine now? Or do I want to go see that movie with friends? Christmas in in two month.... Now that I think about it my parents asked my if they should buy me stuff or if they should give me an allowance but then they wouldn't buy anything anymore. I choose allowance, because I wanted the freedom to buy comics f.e. which they wouldn't have bought me honestly. But it did me good. I got into drawing and I got a degree in illustration :-) Wow that was long. Sorry XD I think it's just a general misconception that you get allowance for help cleaning the house. My friends also didn't get money for cleaning. But it's different in every family :-)
I raised them without allowance. Birthdays and Christmas were fabulous, though. They had jobs starting at age 16. We did a family charity annually like buying a village chickens or a cow. They hate shopping and they are now frugal adults with excellent incomes.
Sheldon believe in positive reinforcement for good behaviours and negative for bad so a fluctuating allowance based on behaviours where you are essentially paid for the good you do but that money can be docked for bad.
I didn't get an allowance myself. Technically I did, but they never paid it. I am now in my 30s, and learning hard lessons about finances I didn't know existed before. I think kids should get an allowance, but I think it should be something you and your partner agree on.
I got an allowance and as a teenager, I learned that “managing money” isn’t about spending as little money as possible. It’s about how you spend the money you got. If you want to follow up on all of the fashion trends as they come in, sure, why not? However, that means you’re going to have to cut something else, like less nights out at restaurants or cheaper apartment or something
I also learned that that’s one of the reasons why lottery winners often go bankrupt. Money is about prioritizing. Big sums of money doesn’t mean “you can get everything”, it means “what do you want to spend it on?”
@@theamolden3166These are the lessons I'm learning. And I'm having trouble balancing the two actually. Typically, I spend too much, and have to cut off my leisure spending completely for a few weeks/ a month. I can't quite seem to get the hang of how much I have to spare, and still build up my account. But I am working on it.
@Mike M It's not about the value of money, it's sbout learning to handle a limited ressource. You should learn to handle money as soon as possible, maybe when starting school. And at that age you should not have a part time job. In Germany you may have a job at the age of 14 or 16. Everything before the age of 13 is not allowed by law. So you are restricted to helping your family, maybe your neighbours. You should definitely learn to handle money before that age.
@Mike M but have you never done a boat load of yard work, and then a nice steak dinner? Hard day at work, and had a beer? It's a treat, and once and a while, you should be treating yourself, its healthy when kept within reason. Just us as parents/adults do it differently. Nothing wrong with giving a kid some change once and a while for being a good help, or doing something extra. Side note, I'd love to hang out with the kid that wants a steak for a treat, but most kids I know want pokemon lol....
Exactly. Allowance is a privilege. Having a sense of contribution and responsibility without monetary reward is worthwhile and, to me, helps to deter that 'entitled personally' that is currently so pervasive.
Hi everyone. I do give my son an allowance (or pocket money as we call it) because it helps him to learn how to manage his money, to save up for things he really wants. He only gets it if he's done everything expected of him like keeping his room tidy, doing his homework etc. This works fine for us but I appreciate it doesn't fit with everyone. (He's 11 btw) We are also a thrifty family, I don't get my nails done (or anything else) either, I even cut and colour my own hair, I buy new clothes once a year.
I don't give mine an allowance either and I don't use the word chore. Here you're responsible for caring for our home. And yes, they can earn money and do. My 11 year old son earned $20 for helping fix a ride on lawn mower we had. It wasn't his responsibility so he earned money. But I'm not going to pay them to clean up their crumbs and pick up their underwear.
That’s how it is at our house. If they do extra work to save for something big/expensive then that is fine. A regular allowance though just doesn’t happen.
I think children having fixed responsibilities and being paid for anything outside of it actually connects money to chores more than a fixed allowance. I have many positive childhood memories of helping my parents with big multi-day tasks, which wouldn’t have felt the same if I was being paid each time. I felt part of the family, in the same sense as my parents: If something needed doing and I was there and capable of helping, then I did. I never felt that my allowance was tied to the ordinary housework I did. The allowance was just a practical way of ensuring that I could occasionally buy something without having to ask my parents for it.
I like that in Germany kids get Kindergeld, so that parents don’t feel like they’re paying their kids to exist, but also it gives the children an opportunity to learn to manage money. I grew up financially spoiled and still have trouble managing money now as an adult
Good job! I had no allowance. Had many hours of chores a week as a child growing up. Grew up on a 5 acres mowing a huge lawn, pulling weeds, tending to citrus trees, planting. . My parents always said that we would be in the poor house soon . Haha. I knew that wasn't true, but I was shocked to see how much my parents were worth as an adult. It was millions of dollars. Haha. We got one present for Christmas . Sports equipment . No designer clothes.Shopped at Sears. Lol. I am glad that I was raised like that! It made me value money, and work hard . You are absolutely right Mayim!
I gave my daughter an allowance because I never got an allowance. I feel it did teach her how to handle money. She use to go with me to thrift stores and hated it. But as she got older and worked to make her own money she LIKED thrift stores and yard sales. When she was about 11-12 she saved her money to join an ice skating class because one of her friends was taking that class as well. She has always been good with math so I encouraged her to go in that direction. She works in the finance department to this day for a bus company.
Allowance is actually a good thing. I've had allowance for my whole school life and that's helped a lot. I don't ask my parents for additional money if I need something in school or have to pay for certain activities. It's my way of helping them out while I'm in school instead of hogging everything financially. I paid half of my ps4 for my birthday, games are mine to buy, I managed to buy myself a Nike off of the sales I made selling chocolates using my allowance as capital. In fact, I pay for most of my things, braces (monthly payment comes from my sales), clothes (I buy off of thrift stores, parents rarely buy any for me), equipment and supplies for my aquarium (which I bought) and more. It really does help me since I can budget a lot of my money without relying on my parents too much. Sometimes I don't even ask for my allowance when they forget to give me some for the week.
Well they must be giving you quite a bit of money for your allowance. But as a parent we can’t control what children buy unless we handle the money. If my kids want an expensive game console I will decide if they can use the money I provide to buy one. It’ll all depend of how well they’re graces are, how respectful they are at school or at home etc....
@@ivettefrias89 nope, just plain simple $6 a week. It took me a while to build that capital. I agree with the attitude control though, I mostly act accordingly and I'm nothing like that arrogant kid who gets his stuff bought for him and breaks it within the next few months.
Yeah, I don't know. I think $6 is quite a lot if you consider that you make about $1 a day, no matter what. That never happens in "real", adult life. It's not my place to judge and I am just here to read the comments because I have a 4 year old so I'm just starting to think about these things. But I'd probably rather put that $6 a week onto a bank account and give it to my child when he's older.
Growing up, I didn't get a fixed allowance. Our parents gave us money but we were told to, "Spend it as necessary". And that's what I did. It taught me to be conscious of how I spend my money and always consider whether what I'm paying for is a "need" or just a "want".
Thank you! I also didn't give my daughter an allowance. This is her home, she helped make the mess she can help clean it, as an adult we don't get paid to clean our homes. Seriously, I've been saying this for years. She also had additional chores she could do to EARN money but not for everyday cleaning/maintenance home chores. Couldn't agree more with you on this aspect.
I used to have an allowance when I was younger. But after a few weeks my parents gave up on it because I was too good keeping track of how much they owed me. (They rarely carried cash) I tallied it up to about $60 before they took allowance away entirely. I was serious about making sure I got paid for my work.
I was raised by grandparents who lived through post-WW2 Britain. Baring in mind the country was broke for awhile after. A working class upbringing in general. So frugality, repairing and recycling/upcycling...did that before it was "cool". With that said, I didn't get an allowance. I didn't complain, because it was understandable as to why. I had to earn money. I mean, I was using power tools, mixing cement, doing carpentry, and DIY as a kid.
Gurl, we are twins. My son is the oldest and I started with him at 14. However, he had do the hard labor for it. He loved Pokémon than so it got done. At 15 he started a job a movie theater part time and we did the process of learning how to budget. Hes 25 now, he's so frugal now that I argued with him to live and enjoy the fruit of his labor responsibly not by just save. Im proud in every way. I'm not rich by any means but I think this is an excellent way for children to navigate financial responsibility. It is a joy to see your kids independence well managed. Keep up the good work, they are and will be awesome gentleman.
In some countries that is actually a thing, because society as a whole is better off and safer if we don't have a lot of desperate homeless people who do who knows what to survive or turn crazy/bitter and disruptive. The goal is always to make sure you can find a job and there are programs for it, but e.g. in Finland homeless people are even given apartments because it is so much easier to give consistent care and get good results from mental health programs if they are available at a fixed address and don't have to be constantly tracked down and won't keep missing appointments. People are way less of a danger to their fellow people if they can survive without resorting to crime.
Il Al in my country family take care of one an other and we do not have homeless people. I’m 22 and i don’t have a job yet but i have my father, mother and big sister giving me money on a monthly basis. And i live with my mother.
My brother and I never got an allowance either, for the same reasons! It never occurred to me that we should get paid to help out and we also weren't Res asked to do much often. When I was saving up for my first laptop I was given £5 every week but then I was given a schedule of chores that I had to follow which included things like cooking the family meal once a week, not the regular chores I'd be asked to do. I personally think it was the best way, which worked well for our family. We really value money as it's not something we've come to expect every time we need it 😊
I started getting an allowance around the age of 6 years old. By the time I was 8 I had saved up enough money to buy myself a Nintendo DS. I don't know how but I've always been pretty responsible with my money. So instead of not getting an allowance and having my parents buy me fun things, I was challenged to be responsible with my money from a very young age because I was always a kid who really liked being independent. From the moment I could do something by myself, like holding a fork and eating with it and walking, I refused to let my parents help me with those things or be in a buggy or stuff like that. So I'm actually very glad I was given that responsibility because now, as a 20 year old who is moving out in a couple of months, I'm very much aware of the value of money and I know how to budget etc.
I had a small allowance from the age of 8. It was not linked to chores or small work, it was just a small amount of money my parents gave me to spend. I think it was formative for me, I did not have to ask to my parents every time I wanted something (so I felt free), but at the same time, as it was just a small amount of money, I started to be more conscious about small expenses because than I would not have money for the bigger things (even if I had not a specific big desire at the moment)
I did get an allowance growing up. I feel like many people have the wrong idea about kids who receive allowance. First, I have to mention, my allowance was $0.50 a week. From 9-12 years of age. We (my brother and I) didn't receive our allowance for expected chores. We received it like a paycheck, that we could save for things like candy or a rented movie. Things my family didn't provide for us. I had to go to my dad with charts and graphs, showing the inflation rate of a candy bar, to get the amount raised to $2. I mentioned this to a friend who said "I wish I had an allowance." To which I asked "if you wanted to go to a movie with a friend, how did you get the money to go?" She said "I asked for it." I explained, "that didn't work in my family. If I didn't have enough allowance saved, I didn't get to go to the movie." Allowance isn't about money for regular chores. It's about understanding financial savings, and that sometimes you can't do something, because you can't afford it.
My sons, who are now 30 and almost 25, never got an allowance but they were given the opportunity to earn money at home. I was a single parent of 2 sons most of their lives so that means lots of odd jobs that "a man" might normally do, i.e. cleaning out the gutters on the steep roof of our house. They had their normal chores but when things came up that were outside their normal chores, gutter cleaning etc., they would negotiate with me on a "payment". Payments were not always money in our house. One year I needed to replace 2 windows in the house and they each pitched in to help their Mom remove the old windows, fix the window sills, install the new windows, etc. The oldest got 2 hours extended to his curfew for the 8th grade dance and the youngest wanted to go away with a friends family for a 2 week vacation, this was what they got for helping me out. You don't need to always pay a child with money to teach them that hard work pays off in lots of different ways.
I met a fellow who was teaching his 4 year old to pay rent. She had to pay $.04 rent, then she would know the value of money. He didn’t want her growing up with the expectation of being given things she didn’t earn. She helps her daddy around the house, not too much, slave labor and all that. I, on the other hand, never was taught that if I wanted something, I had to work for it. I wish I had, that would have been useful! Made many mistakes and still paying for it! You’re a good mother, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
Not a mom but admired a friend who is. She started taking her son to soup kitchens to help when he was just a little tyke. Each year in October'ish she required he give up all his toys except the one he played with most. Those were cleaned up a wrapped for other kids who would otherwise not have a Christmas. I introduced her to my other friend who likewise never had children who would go every Black Friday and buy all the toys two or more grocery carts would hold and haul them to the local fire department collecting toys for tots. Best friend marriage made right there. Me, I just donated cash to round everything out. Every young child should learn about giving to others who have so much less than we do. Thank you Mayim for this post.
I think it's stupid to ask for likes before the main part of the video. "The like" is supposed to rate the quality of the video not to show that you are happy the person uploaded something.
I didn’t get an “allowance” per se. Around middle school my parents started giving me lunch money for the week and it was up to me how to spend it. If I wanted to buy something other than food I would have to buy cheaper items or skip lunch so that I could buy items I wanted. Honestly I think it taught me a valuable lesson between using money on necessities (I.e. food) versus luxury items (I.e toys and games) and how to balance between the two.
My single Mother taught me the value of money by letting me make choices on how to spend it. For instance when it was time to buy. Back to School clothes, she gave me a budget. The smarter I was with my choices the more clothes I got. If I wanted designer Jeans then I wore the same Jeans all year long. She did the same even after I got my first job. She would tell me that she was willing to spend X amount on new tennis shoes (ECT.) If I wanted more expensive ones, I had to pay the difference. So it taught me to respect money and be practical about name brand shopping.
I am from middle class and my parents never gave me an allowance. My parents worked really hard to gave us the life we have, and teach us to value it. I started working at 18, I didn’t need to do it. But most my friends worked and watching them being independent from their parents made me want to be independent too.
I give my niece $4 mostly once in a while but at one stage it was every week, she’s currently 4. I did this because it was costing me $10 a week in a toy. She has $2 for the ride outside the chemist and $2 for either another ride or her buy a toy jar. At one point she had $30 dollars saved up. We went to the museum and she chose a fossil to buy for $40. She used some of her money $10 and I chipped in the rest. She’s also been to our local Kmart store and has bought some pretty good games: a mini tabletop soccer game, hungry hippos, Trouble, and pickup sticks. The best bit though is when she asks if she can ‘feed the doggy’. The guide dog association has a guide dog statue that serves as a donation box. Seeing her drop the coins in and pat the statue is just lovely. I love that she is getting to make choices about what she wants to spend her money on, that she is learning that sometimes you have to save up and that it’s fun to give to others. And I love the fact that it’s not costing me a bomb each week. Together we are learning spending boundaries in a way that makes her feel good that she gets stuff and that I don’t feel awful for saying ‘no’. (Sometimes she actually has more cash than I do).
So, my son is 14 and I just started to get him an allowance. He knows, if we're falling into financial trouble, he will help me with it. We don't have a tzedaka box, but since he was little, we donated any clothes, shoes, utensils, etc we don't use, to a donation store who benefits a women's shelter (victims of domestic violence) Having said that, he consult me when, and on what, he wants to use it.
I am on team allowance. I also feel it's important for each family member to help out with chores and that is not tied to allowance. Yes, adults get paid for their jobs but adults still provide food, clothing, and shelter for their children. My thinking is allowances are training for later financial responsibilities. Giving an allowance can be weekly, or even something as simple as a "back to school" allowance for clothing and supplies. Many parents set the allowance starting when the child understands the concept of money (say age five or six) and they get their age (a ten-year-old gets ten dollars a week). BUT parents decide beforehand what the child covers with that money. As in..."Can I go see the new, whatever movie".... "Sure, if you have the funds to pay for it." Also, many parents use a three jar system...part of the allowance goes to savings, part to giving and part to spend.
Allowance isn't given for helping around, though it can be taken away for not helping, think about it, it works. ;) Also, you say you still buy your kids things, so what's the difference? Back in the day, when I was a kid, I had an allowance, and I could buy what I wanted. If I wanted to spend it on candies, I could, but then if I "needed" a new toy, I couldn't just go to my parents and tell them to buy it, I had to save my allowance and buy it myself. And that included various things, for example my parents, obviously, bought me clothes, but because they were paying for that, they were choosing what I wore, if I wanted something, that was something different, esp. pricier or sth that they didn't like, I had to get it myself. And I could earn additional money not only for some special things, but also everyday chores, but only those that weren't mine to do, so eg. I had to clean my room and I'd never be paid for that, but if my parents wanted me to clean their room, I'd be paid.
I basically had the same rule raising my boys. You don't get money for anything that is expected from a productive member of the family, but extra "above and beyond" chores they could get paid for. Their grandparents and our family friends paid them for yard work. I honestly do not remember them ever asking to do one of these "extra" chores for money. They'd just drag a snow shovel or lawn mower around the neighborhood to get spending money or wait until birthday/holiday gifts.
I agree with u because my mother (Hispanic) sounded just like u every time I'd ask her for allowance. Now, 20 years later, I'm glad she is this way. Your kids will be thankful eventually.
I support any decision parents make and I think there are valuable lessons on both sides here. My parents gave my siblings and I an allowance starting when we were like 6ish. There were 4 years between us so the jobs got split up equally. Youngest would collect all the trash from around the house, empty smaller waste baskets, etc. Middle helped with washing dishes and doing laundry, oldest took out the trash every week, mowed the lawn in the warmer months and shoveled the driveway in the winter. We would get paid $5, $10, and $15 per week, and once we started driving got $5 for gas to and from school. I also started working when I was 12. I got a job babysitting my neighbors 3 kids and that lasted up until I was 19 when they moved. With each of my siblings, the way we spent money was very different. My brother didn't spend much but bought something if he wanted or needed it (this went mostly towards Sega games), my sister bought everything she had the impulse to buy, and I saved. I saved every dollar I made because at that age there wasn't really much I needed. I occasionally bought a game for my Gameboy or a super adorable stuffed animal and book fair at my school took a decent bit, but by the time I was like 16 I had a few grand saved up and I bought stocks that I picked out myself (I know, a super fun thing that all teenagers are dying to do lol). And in 3 years, when I was in college, instead of going into horrible debt, I went to a community college and had grown that $3k to $15k. I never had to pay student loans. I never had to starve myself. I was able to stay living with my parents and when I turned 18 I stopped getting an allowance and started doing the chores to "earn my keep" so to speak. I know I'm not most kids, but I'm glad I had that opportunity.
Yes, yes ,yes I'm 42 and never was given an allowance of money. I was told by my grandparents when I ask for an allowance that I was allowed to follow the rules and instructions given to run a successful and clean household. I was allowed to watch TV I was allowed to sit at their dinner table and eat food they worked hard to buy and prepare for me out of love. I was allowed to sleep in a nice warm bed in a beautifully decorated room. I took it as they allowed me to participate in everything they paid the cost for and after being grown I've come to realize that they allowed me to learn from them by setting the best of examples. We were never rich but the abundance in that house of love was priceless. Thank goodness there's a like minded mommy out there. Your Awesome.
Mayim, you’re a woman after my own heart! My first daughter will be named Mayim. I’m serious. FYI... my name starts with an M as well😁 so it just makes sense. I’ve been a fan forever, not just your work, but of so many things about you & how you parent, and how you live. Bravo! Your parents should be unbelievably proud!
Except dad goes to jail if he doesn’t feed you lol. I’m sure he was just making a point though! Geez my mom would never threaten us with FOOD though that’s harsh...
Well, your kids do get an allowance just not from you. I agree you shouldn't pay for everyday chores around the house, but having your own money is important. There's no better way to learn than through experience and good budgeting skills are crucial in adult life. Dealing with money should start as early as possible, ane obseving how mom spends is something quite different than deciding about your own money and spendings. I plan to give my kids allowance as early as possible and ask them to pay themselves for certain things (present for grandma, cell phone bill, ice cream with friends, partial costs of something "extra"). Everything at age-appropriate level.
100 percent agree and I think that Mayim knows more than all of us combined about "Statistically speaking" and i would really think that statistically speaking, kids who were taught young and consistently about money, how to save, spend, and work for it, i would think statistically they are Much, much better at money all around. And think about how much that helps in life at Any age when you know how to save, spend and handle money!! But I also know that SES (no matter how much a celebrity wants to say they are like you & me) SES Plays a Huuge role in it and they are Not like you & me or your average person. There is Nothing wrong with that it is just a Matter and FACT of having money breeds differences and also how you do things. i.e. parenting....js
I respect your reasoning. I didn't grow up in a rich family, but probably around 6 or 7 I started getting allowance--when I started learning about coins and money. They would give my sister and I 25 cents a week. A few years down the line, 50 cents. Then a dollar. Eventually, by the time I was a tween, $5. And right before I got a job, because I mowed our 4 acre lawn, I would get $10 but once I had a job at around 14 I told my parents they need no longer do that. I was always the frugal one, who saved up my money to buy something perfect, not settling for something that didn't fir my needs as well and would break sooner. As a result I didn't shop often. My mother bought things we needed, like food and clothes, of course, and spoiled us a little with clothes. I think it taught me well how to save and value things I got--and actually, I think this is a huge skill--research. I would research the perfect product and find the best deal, waiting for the most opportune time. Patience. I think it taught me a lot. That being said, we did have lots of chores to do. Living in the country, we had a half acre sized garden and were required to weed it every day for at least an hour. We picked up rocks off the lawn and threw them back on the dirt road, we watered, fed, and cooped up the chickens at night. Swept the house. Tidied, did the dishes (a lot in a house of 4 children) took out compost, garbage, etc. Cleaned the cars on rare occasions. Now, it wasn't always enforced, and most my childhood was spent playing and avoiding chores as much as possible, lol, but they generally got done. That being said, I am still not sure if allowance is best! I think it depends on your family and your children. Choose what's best for you.
We give an allowance for chores, but only some of the work in the house is a paid chore. Picking up after yourself is NOT a chore, helping put away groceries does not get $$, they are not paid for doing their own laundry, etc. We have them use their allowance to buy their own Slurpees and small things like that. I think it helps kids learn that the way to get paid is to do work, and they learn about budgeting. I did not get an allowance growing up and I’m loving all the comments from adults like myself who were told “I ALLOW you to live here” and “You get paid 3 times a day”! 😂 Such simple, wonderful wisdom and I am glad I learned those lessons. There are lessons to be learned from every style and I don’t believe one is a mistake, nor is one perfect. It’s a win if we’re teaching and they’re learning. 🙌🏻
I don't think kids need to get an "allowance" per se. However, I feel that they should handle some kind of money quite early on; not a lot of money, maybe they should be responsible for buying some of the things they need. I for example went to a middle and high school where you had to pay for lunch daily in cash and my parents gave me my lunch money monthly, so I had to learn to budget and make sure the money lasted me throughout the month. It also allows kids the safety to make those early money mistakes we all made while still under their parents roof as opposed to when they get to college for the first time and run out then turn to shady practices to make more...
she has her kids very excluded from the world and they will end up not able to exist without her if she ever has an accident for example... she homeschool them, she doesnt give them allowance... it is possible those kids wont be able to face the world when they get old... and i am starting to realize why she is divorced... she is not that pretty and her methods are rediculus...
This made me think. That I remember it basically says it all. I'm 52. My family did not have a lot of money growing up, but I was not really aware of it, as it was not put upon me other than taught to not be wasteful in many ways; food, fads, taking care of things we owned. I was not given money for gifts -that was considered extremely tacky by my parents. I was never paid for grades - I was expected to do well and never made to work as school was my "job", although I occasionally babysat in hs, or helped in my parents business IF my schoolwork was caught up and my grades were where they should be, which meant no less than one B last report card. I also wasn't allowed to play sports or things outside of school that cost money and took time from study. Music, student gov't, academic clubs were fine and within school hours. I was never paid to do anything at home, that was part of living, including dishes, food gardening, pets, keeping my room clean and raking, shoveling, mowing, which I HELPED with along with my parents as I wasn't treated as free labor for their house. My parents were DIYers, but I wasn't painting the house or on the roof, although I would be around to fetch or make dinner that day so they could keep working. In 5th grade we had a class trip to the bank to open a savings acct. (5.5% interest!) Along with the permission slip, was a needed deposit and it was at this point my parents started giving me an allowance. It was $10 at 10 -which was a lot compared to my friend's $3-5. However it was explained to me that I would no longer get lunch money ($2) but as before I could save that money if I chose to bring a lunch from home (that I had to make), and I would now have that extra money as part of the ten through school vacations. Also some amt was expected to be put into the new acct, my choice how much. It was explained that now with this money, I would not need or be expected to ask for things I previously did; money for buying gifts or for my own special items or for outings with friend's now to be budgeted from my allowance or savings. Coats, shoes, underwear and basics were still provided, anything frivolous was on me. As I got older this included anything beyond the basic family shampoo, like makeup etc, and big things like a car and insurance if I wanted one. So over eight years: $10 @ 10/11/12, $12 @ 13/14/15/16 and @17 $15, until college is $4300. They paid for my first semester of college, plus $350 for books and the leftover was spending money. (it was 1984 and that actually was enough) After that, working and scholarships and grants paid for two private school degrees, no loans, no car loans to date, no credit card balances ever. No borrowed money except a mortgage. I learned to live within my means and wait until I could afford something. A lot of people here are saying kids shouldn't get money for existing. But if you ever give them money for ANYthing beyond food, basic clothing and shelter, you are anyway. But you are making them beg for it in a very controlling way that doesn't really teach what money is WORTH. A dollar and a hundred dollar bill looks the same to a baby. Or a fifteen year old if they want something for $20 and they are given it. Or get a cell phone as a gift, or whatever. An allowance is giving a child choice, some taste of the concept of autonomy, and your trust that they are capable, not treating them like an irresponsible loser who needs constant managing or a burden for simply being born.
As a psychologist I don't recomend for Kids to recieve money just for doing their home duty, but if there is a exceptional Hard task like doing the guardens or fixing something I do recomend to be reinforced with a little money. (sorry for my spelling, I'm a little rusted in writting english).
If you are a psicologyst, shouldn't you at least know how to spell "psychologist"? As a post graduate student in psychology, I know it's spelt the same ALL over the world and would pecially be known, by a psychologist...
@@rosieglows Jeez, don't be so judgemental, if you are becoming a clinical psychologist good luck to your patience. He literally stated that his English is rusty, just because someone doesn't speak or write the same language as you does not make them unsmart. Also, hypathetically even if psychologist was spelt the same every (which I don't believe, because each language has their own alphabet and letters) there are countries that have different symbols for each letter, like various asian countries, Russia, etc. so even if it was spelt the same in his country, maybe the symbols were different. Doesn't matter, we need to learn to judge less and help more, especially if your going into psychology, but even for us regular Joe's it's important.
In Germany it's called Taschengeld, pocket money. I cant remember at what age I started getting some, but it wasn't much to begin with. It was never tied to any behaviour, achievements or whatever. If my parents wanted me to do household chores or get better grades they just told me that I had to do them or work for them in my own interest. Ultimately they wanted me to act responsible and with internal motivation. The Taschengeld I got was enough to buy little things I liked but did not necessarily need, because those things I got from my parents obviously. I think it all worked out fine. I don't believe that there's just one right way. If anything parents should have a look at their children individually and decide based on what motivates and teaches them best. But I do think it's valuable to show your children (at a certain age, not when they are really young) that you trust them to spend their own money on things they want without having to ask for everything all the time. Of course they are going to buy things the parents wouldn't necessarily buy themselves, but as long as it's not completely inappropriate that should be allowed. As they mature they like to be treated more and more like an equal and a responsible and independent person. But their "job" is going to school and to do homework etc which isn't paid. So unless you want them to take on another job, a real job which is paid, I think it's only fair to give them a little something of their own. But: that's just how I grew up and how I feel about it. It's also interesting to see how many people in this comment section have reasons to not like the idea of Taschengeld.
I agree with almost all you said except your Rule #1. "You don't get an allowance because I don't get an allowance" seems (and I say this in what I hope is not insulting by any means, cause I love ya!) rather immature. As parents it's our 'job' and responsibility to clean, cook, and care for our kids. The individual parent gets to decide how much of those responsibilities their child will partake in and whether or not they will get an allowance.My daughter does not get a weekly allowance (yet anyways) nor does she earn money by doing her daily chores, but she does get a monetary award for excelling at school. It's a positive reinforcement to do well in school that works for us and also teaches her money management skills as she saves for something she wants to buy and often chooses to donate some of her savings (which makes me one very proud Mama!)
Personally, I don't think money for studying is the right reason (at the same time, not saying that my opinion is somehow superior to yours). I never got any money for studying at school, because my mum did not believe that money should be the reason behind doing that - the reason for children to study is to expand their knowledge, get to know the world as well as represent sth with yourself and become somebody in life. I strongly agree - nowadays, negotations seem to be a thing - kids come to my classes and they think I will negotiate everything with them and make deals - how much homework I can give, what they will do etc - which is not happening since it results in their ultimate goal, which is to do nothing at all, chat about video games and designer clothes (I didn't even know $400 shoes existed when I was 12) and other stuff...
Why don't you do other activities instead of giving your daughter money? You know, there are more valuable things than money: you can go out with her, go to the theater or museum together, a concert, having lunch at a different place, these things, these experiences have more value than money, it's a way of sharing joy and memories, also studying hard is just one of her obligations as doing her daily chores. As I said, I don't think money is a thing like a reward, it just shouldn't be.
@@livemellifluously If you must know, we take our daughter out almost weekly. I don't feel that making memories should have to wait on or be subject to chores, grades, ect. But hey, everyone has their own opinion. My daughter loves studying and is at the top of her class. Her monetary reward is an added bonus to her already hard work.
How is that immature? Adults don't get an allowance for existing, so why create that expectation in kids? It's life, it's not a "I'm rubber, you're glue" situation.
@@notthefather3919 it's hardly creating an expectation of receiving an allowance for life. She's learning that her hard work has value. Same as a working adult earns a paycheck. She'll know Mommy and Daddy won't give her money all her life.
I got an allowance as a child, all the way through high school. However, I was expected to do chores, like vacuum, clean the bathrooms, and dust. My children have never received an allowance. We provide them with what they need. They refuse to do basic chores, so no money. As you said, no one pays me to do all the housework. It’s a different world these days.
We (my two brothers and I) NEVER got an allowance! I'm 60 years old, physically disabled (so on Social Security), live alone in a small house in East Texas (which, thanks to my wonderful brothers for adding part of their inheritance, I own outright), and am able to live very comfortably, because I was taught the value of a dollar by wonderful parents!!! So keep up your good parenting! Your boys will appreciate it when they're older!!!
Even though I am/have been raised differently (14 currently) I can respect your parenting decision and understand it. I can't say I would follow in your footsteps though. Getting 20p or 50p every time I did series of chores filled me with determination to help a lot more, and yes, it did also make me happy to see myself being more productive just with some motivation. I can't wait to get a job so I can have a steady income and not worry about money as much as I do. No clue why i'm a paranoid saver at 14 but I guess it's not a bad trait for when I move out and have to do bills and find the best deals in shops for equipment.
I started paying my daughter for completing chores a couple years ago. She's 13. In my mind, her current career is school where she pays herself by achieving. She volunteers her time assisting at the Boys and Girls Club and her martial arts club. My son on the other hand was prone to under-achieving. I found he didn't care about money but would reach for bars where prestige was the reward. I enrolled him into the International Baccalaureate program at school and gave him spending money on occasion while expecting him to be part of the family chore routine. In case you're wondering, having them 17 years apart really helped with competition and jealousy issues ;-)
My parents gave me an allowance, and then told me I had to use my allowance to pay for piano lessons that I didn’t want to take…. But you’re so right and teaching them about finances is important. And I absolutely love that you include donating to charities as part of what you’re teaching them…. And I too love thrift stores, and I’ve taught me nieces to love them too.
I never got an allowance. I lived with my dad and 4 siblings. We were very very poor farmers (we made $10,000 a year) We would work hard 8 hour days in the field without pay. My dad hurt his back so we would cook and clean and do everything else that needed to be done. We lived in an extremely run done farm house, using a woodstove to heat and cook. Any clothes we had werehand me downs from family or friends. We grew our food in the field and the barn. Only eating what we could produce. The expensive things produced were saved for selling at the farmers market. We didn’t have toys or entertainment and we didn’t have time for that anyways. If we had free time we would go to The forest and build forts. We never saw a dime and we never complained about it. When I turned 12 I got a babysitting job and gave all my income to my dad is hopes of helping him have a better life. When I was 14 I began working full time hours at a KFC and gave my dad 90% of my income. Saving 10% to move out of the house so I could be less of a burden. Today I am extremely financially savvy and can live on very little. I have a large amount of savings and will be able to retire early thanks to living this way. I don’t feel a need to buy the “extra things”. I cut my own hair and still have the same clothes from 7 years ago. I don’t need to do any of this because me and my hubby do very well for ourselves. I do it because I don’t feel a need to have “luxury” because of the way I was brought up. I think that when you see your parents go through extreme struggle, and you live in slum conditions with the bare minimum, it makes you look at the world differently. My standards of living are quite low simply because I never had anything to compare it to. When my child is born he or she will not get an allowance, he or she will believe that our family is poor so that they can learn the struggles and hardships and the real value of a few cents.
Jess R tbh it doesnt matter the kind of salary the parents get, they still work hard for it (some more than others) and most of that money goes into taking care of the family needs, so they shouldn’t have to pay extra just because you want something. They should obviously spend a bit extra SOMETIMES like on birthdays/Christmas but giving your kids allowance???? It’s like a damn subscription now. “Pay me $50 a month for respect from your damn kids” even though after all that their kids are still ungrateful little brats.
Jasmine Imiya Can deffanitly agree that all parents work hard for their money. My only point was that as a child it made my siblings and I a lot more grateful for what we had. There was never a time that we were mad at my dad for not providing because we knew it was impossible to give us more. Also totally agree, most kids don’t appreciate the allowance they get. They deffanitly don’t need the money to go spend on things they don’t need.
Same here if you were brought up in a poor household you don’t see the need for an allowance when you have to worry about other items 👍🏽. People who are from medium income families are all for allowances.
You had an exceptional lifestyle, you learn the value of money because you had nothing and neither did your parents, you learnt what it meant to earn money early and what difference it can make. In the video this is not the case she’s well off, she’s paying for her kids to do all kinds of things so they get what they want but aren’t experiencing the concept of having money and then it being traded for goods and services they just either get what they want or don’t with no independent choice or thinking. Also if the farm is only making 10k a year with multiple people working 8 hour days probably best to quit as you’re obviously doing something horribly wrong as most farmers make loads of money and you guys might as well all work in fast food it pays better.
My mom growing up would say "Allowance? Yeah, you're ALLOWED to live here"
Jess Jeans Me.
Jess Jeans honestly mood
Jess Jeans that's amazing
She didn't really want you, did she?
Pfft me
Refreshing to see a celebrity parent with such a down to earth personality. God bless you Mayim.😀
Yes!
she's a celebrity?
@@alext3480 big bang theory - popular show
Michelle M and also blossom
@@oliviaa5559 why are u HERE?
My dad has always been like : if you need it, ask me and I'll tell you if you need it.
Let me tell you, my negociation skills are off the charts!!
Pretty similar to me!
A lot of adults were not taught about how to handle money from out parents, I know I wasn't. I made it a goal to educate and question my nieces and nephews about it. I found this blog which helped a lot and I sent it to them (they are preteens) - millennialsvsmoney.com/raising-financially-responsible-children/
That sounds awesome! But if I was your son...and I did alot of chores and asked you for something and you said no....I would accept that....but if you said " clean the bathroom" I would say Yes Ma'am and clean it! Not because I would be getting something, but because you told me to! Js
I used to get a small allowance and at 13 I sat down my parents to have a serious talk with them. Telling them my classmates went to see a movie every Monday and my allowance was only half the ticket price. Their answer: "Need more money? Get a job then!" Me: "But I'm 13!" About a week later they told me they found me a job babysitting the neighbor's toddler who lived in the same building. The money I made there didn't only make me feel extremely proud and grown up but also prevented teenage pregnancy.
🙂
Never had an allowance as a kid. My parents bought me things I needed and honestly, I never felt a need to have an allowance. 🙂
I also knew how to appreciate money this way when I started making some or I got some for my birthday 🙂
In a world that capitalises on everything it very hard to accept full financial dependency. Imagine you, an adult woke up one day to know that your rent and electric and other basic needs are all paid for but you get no money besides that. In order to have to get something that makes you happy you have to do some insane amount of paperwork and requesting. You would be very dissatisfied with your life. In an objective sense you have everything you could need. But there are something's that you aquire just because you feel your life will be a bit better with it. When you are a child, you don't work or when you do you don't have a very high end job. Definitely not the most highly paying job you will ever have. Why? Because you go to school, you are still young and there is no way for you to have the resources to support yourself. But your fundamental human nature doesn't change. There are still things you may not need but you do want. And your parents will probably only see very few of them worth getting. Will your mother stop every few days to satisfy your chocolate craving? Will your dad see the reason why you absolutely need a specific eyeshadow palette? These are things that some money given by your parents, who cannot satisfy every thing you want but are willing to let you get for yourself can buy. They do not need to know everything in your drawers and closets. They can just let you choose to get the few things that you want with the limited money they give you so you won't have to tear your hair out convincing them.
parijat shukla your logic is flawed. It’s based on the premise that children are the social equals of adults. There is a good reason a parent would say no to satisfying a daily chocolate craving or why that palette of eye shadow is not necessary. Children do not have the same level of knowledge and experience and wisdom that adults have. Therefore their wants; decisions and desires are not always good or wise. This is also why parents are responsible for supervision of children, in many areas of life. A child is and should be financially dependent on adult control and supervision. It is not and should not be viewed as a humiliating thing during childhood. This is not about needs of human nature, it’s about parents being in charge when children do not have the maturity and skills to manage things themselves.
my parents also never game allowance and rarely bought me the things i needed
Same here! I started making money when I was 8 by collecting pop cans and I appreciated my first pay from that more than anything! Now I keep that way of thinking never lost it. I value and am very careful with my hard earned money.
I live in a different country and I don’t think allowance is a thing. Which is why I’m kinda iffy about it. My parents provided me with everything I needed and if I wanted to buy something that was more expensive or not a necessity we talked about it and figured out some kind of deal. They also gave me money whenever I asked for it. But they never “payed” me for chores, since that’s something we all have to help with regardless of what we might get from it.
I never got an allowance, my parents just got me things when I needed them and sometimes as a treat. I was just expected to do chores and it never seemed weird to me.
Hot Take, Babe finnaly someone normal here who don't cry abour having their allowance only 5$ when they breathed out lol
Lol! Its common in Asian countries, particularly in east and south east asia. Its like a norm. Its expected that chores are part of daily life. You dont get compensation for such work. I admit that i hate chores, but i tell you, at some point, it will help you become disciplined and you learn to value the money you get.
Same
Hot Take, Babe me to
same, and as soon as I could work, I did so I could have my own money and buy things that I wanted.
We didn't get an allowance growing up. Eastern European parents don't believe in that, at least mine didn't. Lol you are hilarious to watch.
Aj ne lupaj.
German parents are the same (at least mine). You help. No discussion. But if I wanted to go to the cinema with friends I also got money for that. But it was not for the work it was because my parents are nice and wanted me to have fun.
In Romania parents get a certain amount of money from the government for each child they are caring for. We call that allowance. If the family is not strained financially and you are a bit older, parents might let you have that money. At least mine did. I don't know how it works now, but back in the day we received a small notebook with one page for each month and we would go to the post office and the lady at the counter would rip off the page corresponding to the previous month and give us the amount specified there. My parents would encourage me to save the money (basically postpone going to the post office, so when I did, I could take out a couple of months' worth all at once). They'd ask what I planned on doing with it and shared their thoughts on that. Otherwise, I had to ask if I needed/wanted something that I couldn't get on my own and they'd decide if it was possible. They'd usually give me some small change for bus tickets or a snack at school (if I ran out of money, though not necessarily - as the only child in a family of average means I was a quite spoiled).
P.S. (Of course) I always had a piggy bank. The pillar of financial education :))
This is not true.
Its not called an allowance, but we do get money, most kids do. And we use it for when we go to school, to buy extra food or snacks, buy whatever you want and need aand you need to have enough leftover if you plan to do something with your friends.
Example, if you want to go to an arcade or a movie, they will bring u there but you should have money for your own ticket.
Haha. I still remember the concept of pocket money being introduced to me by my best friend. I must have been about 8. I was so confused, like, “Your parents just _give_ you money...?”
My son got an allowance just for existing. It was not tied to chores or doing the basics for himself. We started in kindergarten with $50 a month. Many parents would gasp at that amount, but there was a reason. Half of it went into a savings fund, so that left $25. That covered any books, treats, toys, etc. It stopped the whining at the store of 'I want...' because I would ask 'do you have enough money? All of a sudden he had to assess the situation. I'm going to say 85% of the time he put things back because they weren't worth it. If he wanted big ticket items he had to save up for to get them. Every year his allowance went up. In middle-school he saved his money & did extra chores around the neighborhood & saved up for his very own flat-screen TV (this was back when they were new thing). I'm going to say that he learned to shop to stretch his money by shopping smarter, price comparison, coupons & saving up for sales. He had his own ATM in high school. We supplied basic no frills sneakers. If he wanted the fancier ones he had to pony up the rest of the money, which he rarely did. His allowance paid for going out w/ his friends, movies, books, hobbies, etc. We didn't have to deal with "mom I need money', because he knew what he had to spend. It saved us money, because we saw what other parents were shelling out. Once in college he worked & had his own money. He paid for his own tuition, books etc. by looking for deals on used books (renting, too), saving & using the money he had saved up every month since kindergarten. He graduated w/ only $7,000 worth of student loan debt. I'm going to say that giving money to our son helped him to save & use his money wisely. No regrets.
@Dee Dee... Great job parenting sweetie! 👍
That sounds great ! I feel like doing that with my son could work . good jobs and thanks for sharing the tip
This is an interesting perspective. It's definitely a valid albeit lesser utilised approach. Reading it, i find myself inexplicably thinking of someone I know whose Mom inadvertently established a pattern of buying away bad feelings for one of their kids throughout their life. Any upset or mishap, this mom would throw money at the situation and buy things to cheer the daughter up. Unfortunately, decades later, the daughter has yet to learn how to deal with the difficult bits of life without doing that. She's run herself into debt repeatedly and with greater consequence throughout her adult life. Her mom continued til the day she died trying to fix everything with money and also overextended herself financially in doing so, lost her home even. Family members and friends were forever bailing this woman out and offering a safety net with their carefully saved and managed money whilst the woman just recklessly squandered everything. She's defrauded numerous financial institutions and worked underhand/illegal deals to avoid responsibility for her financial chaos. Its always someone elses fault and she never stops or even curbs her spending. I don't think the op's method would work as well for every kid out their as it did for her sun, he seems paticularly ammenable to it, but all the samr, i can't help but think it would have saves most if not all of the financial hardship inflicted by the reckless selfish woman described above if the mother could have done this instead of what she did.
Exactly how my mom did it with my brother and me. And I think it taught us well. We didn't start out in Kindergarten and it wasn't the same amount, but that depends on where you live, too. I got a job when I finished school at 17 to spend some time in Spain, and also worked for the whole time I went to university now. I am not in debt, I know the value of money and I think I learned pretty early in life how good it feels to work hard to get something and then finally getting it.
I kinda geht what she is trying to say, though. There are more than one right way to teach your kids.
My parents did the exact same. It started with a small amount, and kept growing as I got older. First it was to buy things I wanted, later it was also to buy gifts for friends and later for clothes. I would get twice a year 1 full outfit (coat, shoes, pants etc) and the rest was on me. My student debt was 1500 euros and I paid that back in a year. I am really good at saving money, putting money into funds and never had to ask ever someone for money which I am proud of. I had to do chores in the house and I did them, but not because my allowance was depending on it but because it was just our contribution to the household. I didn’t ask my parents for “fun” because it was there and all extra’s were on me. Did I buy candies? Yes I did but once I learned if I wanted good things I needed to save I stopped that. I feel like I benefited hugely from getting that allowance and the reasoning of mayim is not one I can relate to nor would I ever enforce on my own family if I were ever getting one.
I’ve been giving a small allowance ($2/week) to my children since they were 5. My reasons are as follows:
1. My husband and I model frugality daily and we speak honestly and appropriately about money with our children. But just as I wouldn’t expect them to learn to use a pencil simply by watching and talking about it I also don’t expect them to learn about money without first hand experience. The allowance I give them is a tool for hands on learning experiences.
2. It helps them evaluate their own values in terms of luxury. I provide for all their needs so everything they would buy is a want but I think it’s important for them to evaluate which of their wants add the most benefit to their life (because they can’t afford them all) and what cost are they willing to pay for that want or luxury.
3. Watching them interact with their own money gives me insight into their developing personalities. This insight allows me to see where I might adjust my parenting to help develop their values and responsibility.
4. Having “their own money” reduces shopping behavior issues because if they want something not on my list they have to have enough of their own money with them in order to purchase it.
I don’t pay for chores, or for hygiene. I will pay extra for those more laborious jobs as were mentioned in the video. Although if they don’t complete their chores I will offer to do the chore for them if they’d like to pay me - although they usually can’t afford my rate 😉
Brianna Bickley. True growing up our allowance was usually twice a month and it was candy money. It was considered a treat. As we got older it was more and for stuff like roller skating or a movie. And yes if you learned to be frugal with it you saved up to get something you really wanted. Chores were not optional, if not done you lost privileges.
My parents gave us allowances, too. They didn't tell us why. But, their reasons were probably the same reasons that you listed.
I grew up with an allowance for “snack” money. Did not get paid to do chores. They are considered part of your daily routine. If I wanted something frivolous, my parents told me to save my allowance. But the funny thing is, once I saved up enough money, I did not want to spend it just in case there’s something better that comes along and I won’t be able to afford it. It taught me how to budget.
But they can learn all that with money from Christmas, Birthdays...
Ana Oh Yes but thats also a large amount of money all at once. Although it is a valuable skill, it makes it a lot harder for children to learn impulse control over the long term. Its not real life to go for long periods of time without any money and then suddenly get a whole bunch, adults get paid every 2 weeks to a month and have to budget for things accordingly. When those birthdays come, having a regular small allowance makes it easier to evaluate the actual value of that money in comparison to how many weeks it takes for that child to make the money via allowance.
I had an allowance from the time I started school, to buy myself snacks, to save up for gifts for family and friends, etc.. Yes, I bought mostly junk food with my money, but also learned about saving for bigger things, and giving to others in need. My husband, on the other hand, was never given an allowance when he was growing up. The way he spends money as an adult drives me up the wall, as it's about instant gratification instead of prioritizing needs and wants. Our daughter is just two, and it'll be interesting to see how we choose to tackle this allowance issue when she's older.
I agree. Having an allowance is linked to having responsibility to use it wisely. The job for parents is helping to prepare for adulthood. There's not enough economic education.
Must be a cute 4 year old !
I grew up getting an allowance, but it wasn't connected to behavior. I simply got it to understand the concept of money. If I wanted something I could safe up for it myself. It probably started with like 50 cents a week as a little girl up to 10 euros as a pre-teen. I got an allowance until I got my first job at 16 working at McDonald's :p. From that point I had to pay for my own cell phone plan, to add some extra responsibility into the money management. When I was 14 I became a vegetarian, and because my parents found it a bit difficult and I loved cooking and exploring foods, they challenged me to do my own grocery shopping for a month with 20 euros a week. This ended up becoming a thing for 4 years until I moved out at 18. I'm 23 now and I'm literally the only one of my friends who can actually manage my expenses to the point where I know exactly what comes in, what goes out and what is saved etc. So for me having an allowance from such a young age, really benefited me as an adult.
Yeah, I think that the "saving for something" aspect is an important lesson that getting an allowance provides.
I didn’t get an allowance and I don’t have children, but I remember when my niece began receiving an allowance. She quickly began to understand the value of money. Before that, it was difficult to make her understand. She saved to buy things she wanted and if they broke easily or she outgrew something quickly, she would regret the purchase and become more selective moving forward. It really taught her to save, delay gratification, and think about needs rather than wants. I think it’s one of the many reasons she manages money so well today.
I think allowance can be a good tool if used right. My sister and I got an allowance, but half of it always went into a savings account that we had to deposit at the bank ourselves. Because of our allowance, we were able to make our own decisions and buy what we wanted, but that meant our parents almost never bought us stuff (other than school supplies). I'm grateful for it because it taught me how money worked, and taught me how to make good choices. They stopped giving us allowance when we could legally work, and I've worked for my money ever since.
I was thinking this also. My dad also told me that school was my job and I needed to study and do well. I was in no way being paid to go to school or being rewarded for good grades, however school was a "job" and I was expected to do well.
That’s a good point. I guess different ways to get the same result
I agree and the way you describe is much the way we give allowances in our family. My son has had an bank account, that he is responsible for balancing, since he was 8 years old. Every other week his allowance is transferred into that account and the other weeks he receives cash. While he doesn't get an allowance for doing his normal chores he does earn money for doing certain "extra" chores that have a preset earning amount. Therefore his allowance fluctuates week to week. In my opinion this prepares him for the working world by teaching him that to earn money you need to choose to work hard. It also teaches him how to manage money and to save for items you really want. At 10 years old he has purchased both video game systems he owns through money he saved from his allowance. Our daughter is younger so we haven't started this with her yet but we are planning to soon.
I think I started to give my 3 year old twins an allowance so they could emulate dad's responsibility to pay for necessary things and to buy special things with left over money. Sometimes it takes a long time to buy special things.
I dont get allowance,
Why?
Because I live in an asian household
*live
B.G. Ibañez omg i didn’t realize that 🤣🤣
I understand your pain. Im from Singapore.
@not laggyvibes jealous 😣
That's so true😆
My allowance was the roof over my head, the food in my belly, the cloth on my back, the shoes on my feet, the glasses I wear, the bed I sleep in, the blankets I use, the gas, electricity, the T.V, ect... oh don't forget the icecream.
jack brown 🙌🏼
That's not what allowance is but yes be grateful for all that you have :)
@@lucillewoodmansee6674 yes
A lot of adults were not taught about how to handle money from out parents, I know I wasn't. I made it a goal to educate and question my nieces and nephews about it. I found this blog which helped a lot and I sent it to them (they are preteens) - millennialsvsmoney.com/raising-financially-responsible-children/
I didn't even know what an allowance was until a year ago.... I'm 15
I got 20 for each A in high school . My stepdad freaked when I got straight A in 7 classes. Lol
luckyyyyy as a straight A student myself, I wish I had this system XD
JetSki Out of Water fuck you
@@leandoerh so kind of you to say
JetSki Out of Water lmao I sense jealousy hehe,, also eyyy >4.0GPA’ers unite
I had a bank account and they paid me for good grades and reading during the summer 😎
I never got paid for doing chores. But my mum always made sure we received a monthly amount of money regardless of the chores. She just wanted us to have a little money to buy ourselves things we wanted and she made us get our big things like bikes, etc. I remember I felt very proud of myself when I got my first bike all by myself with my little monthly money.
Abril Akgun Me too! It taught me how to save money and managed money. I made financial mistakes early on, when it didn't matter for my survival.
But the fact is that you didn't do it "all by yourself" you paid for it with free money. In my opinion, this is worse than doing it for chores. At least with chores you're doing some work. But with this it prepares you to get free money for doing no work. Like benefits and welfare
When I was younger, my allowance was very important to me. It gave me the freedom to buy my own stuff and pay for my own soft drinks or candy when I was out with my friends. Buying a youth magazine (it's called Bravo and is still sold in my country today) was also very important to me. I didn't get the money for doing my chores, they were a part of our daily life, but being in school and unable to work in my free time, I'm very glad that my mother gave us some money to spend. My sisters and I didn't have to ask her every now and then when we needed some money and I think that's a very important part: Not asking for every gum, lollipop or magazine gave us some freedom we wouldn't have had otherwise until we were old enough to work after school. I also felt very guilty whenever I had to ask my mother for money. My weekly allowance helped a lot with that.
I'm around that age right now, and you described it perfectly
I agree with everything you wrote ( are you from Poland? I remember "Bravo"). I have never received allowance from my parents, more from lack of money rather than from any conscious parenting decision. I had a ton of chores from a very early age like cleaning the whole house with my sister starting from age 7 and it would have not occured to me to disobey or demand payment. However, I do not consider allowance to be a payment for doing chores around the house, which I absolutely agree that kids should not be paid for. In my opinion, getting allowance is a way of showing respect for your children. By sharing a tiny portion of the family money parents do not demonstrate their "superiority" just because they have the financial upper hand as in "we pay for your food/roof over your head etc., we control you, we are the bosses so you need to ask/beg for every tiny thing you want". I would have appreciated that kind of respect when I was young and dependent on my parents to survive.My daughter gets $3 a week and usually just enjoys keeping it in her little wallet and feeling very grown up. Until she is big enough to earn her own money, I want her to feel she deserves this allowance just because she is a part of the family, just like she deserves a home, food on the table, education etc.
@@sylel223 I agree with your thinking. If helping around the house is in keeping with being included in being an active member of the house, "sharing" a little of the income that comes in from the parents being able to work outside the home to earn money, should also be a part of being an active, participant of the house. Adults get to indulge sometimes, so why can't children be given an opportunity to choose their indulgences, (within reason and age appropriateness), without depending on the parents' determination of what is important to them. :)
It also helps you to understand the value of money. You need to manage money to know this.
My parents did exactly the same thing. I a weekly allowance. We were not paid to do chores. Was told to save my allowance if I wanted to buy frivolous things. 😊 It taught me how to budget and save.
I received an allowance from early age on, 7 or something, starting with 50ct per week. One day I wanted a baby born kitchen (150$ at the time) and I asked my mom how many weeks I would have to save to buy it. When she said "several years" it really made me realize value and cost of things and that I didn't want a baby born kitchen enough to save for several years. Till this day I think that is such an important lesson and also being able to really decide what you're gonna spend your money on and a especially what you're NOT gonna spend your money helped me to be responsible with my financials till this day. Anyway, just a little story. :) I'm sure there is many right ways.
My parents told me to collect bottles if I wanted money, so I did.
same! bc of me we established a business with them and i’ve worked there and paid off all my college and visited 48 outta 50 states!
Luba Alanna and to think it all started with 5 cents at a time
My mom grew up on a farm and got the same wages as labours... when that could cover 2x 2 weeks trips a year with church /youth group.
We did too! $$$
Did the same growing up but I did it out of my own interests because I needed some extra pocket money 😂.
Let me say, first, that I completely support your decision not to give your kids an allowance. This is *NOT* at all meant to be a criticism of your decision.
But I do give my kids an allowance. I don't give it in exchange chores. I just give them a small amount. And the reason that I give it to them is the same reason I give them pencils and books and other things: I want them to practice using them. I want them to have had some money, I want them to spend it, and then I want them to know what it feels like to want something but have spent the money they had. They have chores, but they're not tied to the allowance. We do have extra chores that they can do for pay if they want. But that's up to them.
As far as age for our kids: We started them with a weekly allowance at 5. The amount was $0.25 per year of age. So at 5 they got $1.25. We had them save 10%, giveaway 10% and then do whatever they wanted with the other 80%. We stopped allowances for our oldest 2 at 16 when they got drivers licenses and could reasonably go get a job. The younger 2 will stop allowance at 16 as well when they get there.
Are there other ways to teach about the value of money? Of course! But an allowance was just easier for our family. Glad to hear you found some other way to teach your kids!
We use this concept too. I didn't want chores tied to allowance, but wanted her to learn to give, spend, and save. Chores are expected, as she is part of the household (and also will some day need to know how to do all this on her own); and if she wants to earn money, we have extra chores she can do.
Well said!!
This is exactly what most parents in Germany do. Kids get allowance usually around the age that they start school, not in exchange for anything, so that they can learn about money. The amount increases with age because activities like going to the movies don't include the parents any more, so kids pay for themselves with their allowance. In the beginning it's just enough to buy some candy or save it up for a cheap toy. I liked growing up like this!
That's how I was raised, minus the saving and giving away. It was entirely my decision what to do with my allowance (all gift money, or any other money I came into though had to go into my savings account for college). Conversely, my husband never got an allowance and he is still crappy with money.
@Tomorrow is another Day My parents tried the give up one of your old toys to get a new one trick. Then they felt bad for me never getting any new toys, and they dropped that stupid idea.
I love your parenting videos!! And I love how you are so confident in your parenting, especially when it's such a fight these days
I remember on the show 'Everybody Hates Chris', Terry Crews yelling "Allowance? I ALLOW you to live in this house. I ALLOW you to use this gas. I ALLOW you to eat my food. I ALLOW you to turn on these lights..."
Ar Daneh ha! Very true though!
My mom quoted this almost directly (we all watched the show) and after that what argument can be made?
I actually went and watched it just now
Well, that's your obligation as a parent, what you're gonna do, toss them on the street? You choose to have children, children don't ask to be born
@@Lin0026 It was a funny skit to watch though. Just reminded me of it, that's all
last month i had my barmitzva, i donated 30% to charity and i gave 20% to my parents for the party and everything they do for me.
you are full of shit
@N C thank you, im a boy tho xD
It’s people like you that I like to see successful with money.
Learn how to spell asshole... you do not even know how spell.... BAR MITZVAH!!!!!
Yeah right!
I got monthly allowance as a child, since age 9: all the money I would need for lunch in school and going out with friends in the weekends for an entire month upfront. My single mom was and still is so bad with money management that in the end of the month I'd have some savings to borrow her to buy some bread. I was so grateful I could just rely on myself and that's how I learned money management, paid my university, and still living without loans and debts.
I got my money for charging my siblings for eggs (I was the only one willing and able to cook snacks for them)
I didn't get pocket money as a kid and it was extremely hard for me. Other kids could buy the occasional comic book or save up. I am great with money now, but for example terrible at buying myself food because I never used to be able to do that. I didn't eat lunch after school on many days. Also you just don't want your parents to know about every little thing you buy or might want to buy. I remember stealing a postcard once that had all 150 pokemon on it. It can be frustrating in the long run to have no choices at all.
Same. My parents would buy us stuff if we wanted, but it was pretty frustrating as a teen to have to ask for every little thing, especially since I didn’t have a lot freedom in other ways.
Yeah, my parents just didn't have money, so until I was 16 and got a job, I had 0 spending money.
To this day, I have a hard time knowing what I like when clothes shopping and I think it's because I never got to pick out my own clothes ever (lived off of hand me downs).
My parents never gave me an allowance, they provide me with food, an education and clothing. When I wanted something extra they’d buy it or say no. I had to work in the fields if I wanted extra spending money. I disliked it but oh boy did it teach me about making money and the importance of saving and spending wisely. I never stole money even when other kids had brand clothing or fancy gadgets. I just told myself they’re parents were well off so they could afford to spend on such luxuries. So I decided to get good grades so I can make money and buy myself what I wanted but also not splurge my money on unnecessary items.
@@jaceyjacobs4013 I think having an issue with asking for every little thing is an issue with communication with parents and maybe wanting too much? I mean theres a time and age right where you can buy everything you want. Your parents know better and think more about the things you want. Looking back, if my parents did give me everything I had asked for I really would be regretting it today. And I dont know why it seems so wierd to go shopping or doing things with your parents? You can pick the clothes and have the "freedoms" as you say. Honestly your comment sounds a bit on the complainy/whiney side. Sorry i dont mean any offence, but I think your problems could have been easily solved from your side.
Exactly!! Why should you have to tell your jailor what you need the money for?
I'm on teenagers #5, 6 & 7 (including 2 foster children). I also used to work with troubled adloscents, learning a lot from pediatric psychologists. My kids get money every week. Every day they have 2 chores (on top of cleaning up their own messes). Those chores are just part of living in a home. If they have completed their chores, then there is a list of extra chores they can do for money, taking it as a job. Now, if they leave mess, they have one reminder to pick it up. If there has to be a 2nd reminder, then they have to do it that minute and they earned an extra chore to also be done right then. They call each other out & friends who were always here, sort of just fallen into our rules. I have walked in to my teen's friend vacuuming my living room. He told me he had to do something because he forgot to clean up after making a sandwich when at our house lol.
I like this approach
That's awesome! Lol. That reminds me of when I was little (probably around 10 years old.) My friend would always make a mess in my room and then leave so I was always left to clean the mess. I would get upset and my parents would tell me I was responsible for my room so I would need to clean it by myself if I didn't ask her to help me. It would happen every time. I got tired of her leaving me with the mess so one time she was over at our house with her parents (who were close family friends) and the minute she arrived I told her that we could play but she had to help me clean up before she left. She said ok. I told her I really meant it, that I was tired of being the only one putting things away after she left. I don't think she believed me. When her parents said it was time to leave, she got up and started walking towards my bedroom door. I got up, blocked the door and told her she wasn't allowed to leave my room until she helped me put the toys back in their place. She started crying to manipulate the situation and her parents and my parents came. I told them what happened and her parents agreed with me. That was the first time she helped me clean up and the last time she attempted to leave without helping me clean up lol. I learned my lesson and so did she.
There was no allowance in my house growing up. My mother taught me that there is a deep satisfaction obtained from doing things for others and yourself without getting a prize in return. I think it's one of the most important higher abstractions for a kid to have in their arsenal to lead an enriched life. Bravo, Mama!
I love this! I have never given my children an allowance...helping out around the house is part of being an active member in our family. Do I give them money when needed, yes...but it’s not a reward for helping take care of the house. We all live here, and we all need to help take care of our space!
I agree. Allowance for chores in the house? I think that's nonsense. My brother and I always did the chores, we had to do, together, so they were done pretty fast:)
Exactly my parents were the same way and I was as well. We always found odd jobs around the neighborhood or with our parents to what we wanted. Mostly around neighborhood. Like go to public swimming pool everyday.
My moms thing was she gave me a roof over my head, food in my belly, clothes to wear, and hot water to bathe in and I can definitely wash some dishes lol
So how do you reward your children exactly?
Who says that allowances have to or should be tied to chores?
Maybe you should give your children the money you would roughly pay for their school supplies, clothing aso and explain to them, that in the future they will have to pay for all this themselves. That will teach them how to actually manage money.
Everybody lives in the house, everybody contributes. As long as it's age appropriate then chores are part of everyday life.
Schools (or parents if home schooled) teach children how to survive in the work place. Parents teach children how to survive life.
My husband and I have very much enjoyed giving our sons an allowance since my first son turned three. (10 years ago.) He received $4.00 dollars a week. One to savings, one dollar went to giving and two dollars went to spending. He did not earn the four dollars a week, he was simply given it. He still had/has chores to do no matter what but it did not have anything to do with his allowance. This prevents them from asking for things in the stores. They ask “may I have that” and I say “do you have enough money?” End of convo. No whining, no begging, just saving. This also teaches them about giving very early and they feel they are giving their own money, not mine. My 13-year-old has since learned how to put his money into investments. Over the last four or five years he bought a dirt bike, paid someone to repair it, sold it, built a small houseboat with my husband shared everything 50-50 sold it. Bought a regular small boat, cleaned it up paid a guy to fix the motor, sold it. This was all done with his money only except for the Houseboat because my husband LOVES houseboats. He recently just sold his first small mobile home. He tripled his money and it was done with only his money and paid dad for his time and worked alongside dad for the repairs, remodel etc. He also baked cakes for a restaurant for a period of time and made money that way which he separated into spend, save, give. All while still continuing to earn an allowance. His allowance is up to $12 a week. My younger son did not start earning an allowance until he was about six. He did not have the same understanding of it so we had to wait. That child gets his chores done every day, has nothing to do with his allowance. $8 a week. This is not enough money to make these children not want to earn more. They take on odd jobs from other people as well as from us and have a desire as adults to make their money work for them through intelligent investments.
Myam, I didn't get allowance either. My dad said if you want money set up a lemonade stand. This was 1963 and I made $11 that day and had to pay my mother $3 back for supplies. I learned the value of a dollar. I also learned how to be an entrepreneur. I worked for myself most of the 55 years I worked. I'm an artist and I sold my art I marketed my art, and I found a commercial way for my art to pay me. It was the most valuable lesson I've ever learned not getting allowance. It was perhaps one of the greatest gifts that my father ever gave me.
I relate to the bit about wearing the same clothes over and over that made me chuckle 😂 As a charity shop volunteer I appreciate your use of them, thanks for being so real 💕
I didn’t get an allowance either, something about money doesn’t grow on trees and I was provided everything I needed. 🤷♀️
I don’t think kids should be given an allowance for doing a few chores, house work should be divided equally based on age and ability (you’re not going to split chores 50/50 with a 5 year old, but a 8 year old can certainly do a few more things than a 5 year old). But I do agree, going out and doing yard work whether that be mowing, weed whipping, weeding the garden or things like that; do deserve some sort of compensation. Especially for a kid, those tasks can be very challenging.
As a child I helped out by doing laundry for my full time nursing student Mom, watching my baby sister so my Mom could get stuff done, doing housework and a little cooking. Knowing that I was helping my Mom and contributing to the family was reward enough for me.
I’m with you, No allowance. I never had an allowance for helping with the house chores growing up and I certainly knew the value of a dollar when I moved out on my own. I earned money growing up by doing things for the neighbors, such a babysitting, caring for pets while a neighbor was away, exercising horses.
By the way, I adore you and your videos, you keep me smiling!
I say there are more pros than cons to giving allowance. My nephew is 13 and in his mind he does all the budgeting of what he wants based of what he gets. I don’t think he considers asking his parents for “their” money. He saves, etc. also he borrows from them, asks for extra jobs, and yes negotiates. But never straight out asks, hey will you buy this for me?
I’m sure they had more conversation than: you do chores you get money. I definitely think they explain things along the way.
But this is just one kids story. I’m sure there are many ways to do things, and each kid is different. Just from my personal experience I think it’s a good idea.
My sisters and I had the same experience growing up. We got a monthly allowance. If we didn't do our chores, poor on our homework and things like that, we didn't get any allowance.
Me in particular didn't do quite a few of my chores and was somewhat lazy when it came to school. Many times I saw my sisters get allowance while I didn't. I got better over time.
And now we still don't like to ask our mom for money because we feel we haven't earned it.
Especially that for many kids as they grow up, asking money from their parents becomes disgraceful cz they were never given an allowance.
I never got an allowance. I don’t get it. Everyone should help cleaning the house. ❤️
I got allowance BUT it was never tied to help cleaning :-) In our family everyone had a tasks and there was one day a week where the whole house was cleaned ( saturday......) and in summer f.e. it was my task to water the garden when the sun went down. On top of my saturday- tasks to clean the stairs and the bathroom and on top of helping every friday with shopping food for the week, my sisters had other things they needed to do. I never got money for tasks, just a general allowance.
But I would also not get presents outside of birthdays/ celebrations ect. I wanted a comic -> allowance, I wanted to go to the movies with friends -> allowance, I wanted to buy birthday/christmas presents -> allowance. That way I had to budget. Do I really need that comic/magazine now? Or do I want to go see that movie with friends? Christmas in in two month....
Now that I think about it my parents asked my if they should buy me stuff or if they should give me an allowance but then they wouldn't buy anything anymore. I choose allowance, because I wanted the freedom to buy comics f.e. which they wouldn't have bought me honestly. But it did me good. I got into drawing and I got a degree in illustration :-)
Wow that was long. Sorry XD I think it's just a general misconception that you get allowance for help cleaning the house. My friends also didn't get money for cleaning. But it's different in every family :-)
Yes but if you mess up the toilet that's extra cash.
Dom Anderson - Exactly!! : )
Dad used to say “You get paid 3 times a day “
I raised them without allowance. Birthdays and Christmas were fabulous, though. They had jobs starting at age 16. We did a family charity annually like buying a village chickens or a cow. They hate shopping and they are now frugal adults with excellent incomes.
I wonder what Sheldon would say about this.
Sheldon believe in positive reinforcement for good behaviours and negative for bad so a fluctuating allowance based on behaviours where you are essentially paid for the good you do but that money can be docked for bad.
@@benterry2681 Hey sheldon we know its you
@@YoungEngineer-ew9en LMAO I thought the same
I think Sheldon would insist on positive -reward reinforcement. 😉
Delayed gratification is a good thing to teach, too.
I didn't get an allowance myself. Technically I did, but they never paid it. I am now in my 30s, and learning hard lessons about finances I didn't know existed before. I think kids should get an allowance, but I think it should be something you and your partner agree on.
I got an allowance and as a teenager, I learned that “managing money” isn’t about spending as little money as possible. It’s about how you spend the money you got.
If you want to follow up on all of the fashion trends as they come in, sure, why not? However, that means you’re going to have to cut something else, like less nights out at restaurants or cheaper apartment or something
I also learned that that’s one of the reasons why lottery winners often go bankrupt. Money is about prioritizing. Big sums of money doesn’t mean “you can get everything”, it means “what do you want to spend it on?”
@@theamolden3166These are the lessons I'm learning. And I'm having trouble balancing the two actually. Typically, I spend too much, and have to cut off my leisure spending completely for a few weeks/ a month. I can't quite seem to get the hang of how much I have to spare, and still build up my account. But I am working on it.
@Mike M It's not about the value of money, it's sbout learning to handle a limited ressource. You should learn to handle money as soon as possible, maybe when starting school. And at that age you should not have a part time job. In Germany you may have a job at the age of 14 or 16. Everything before the age of 13 is not allowed by law. So you are restricted to helping your family, maybe your neighbours.
You should definitely learn to handle money before that age.
@Mike M but have you never done a boat load of yard work, and then a nice steak dinner? Hard day at work, and had a beer? It's a treat, and once and a while, you should be treating yourself, its healthy when kept within reason. Just us as parents/adults do it differently. Nothing wrong with giving a kid some change once and a while for being a good help, or doing something extra.
Side note, I'd love to hang out with the kid that wants a steak for a treat, but most kids I know want pokemon lol....
Exactly. Allowance is a privilege. Having a sense of contribution and responsibility without monetary reward is worthwhile and, to me, helps to deter that 'entitled personally' that is currently so pervasive.
My take away from this video is that YOU don't give your kids an allowance but they still get an allowance.
Hi everyone. I do give my son an allowance (or pocket money as we call it) because it helps him to learn how to manage his money, to save up for things he really wants. He only gets it if he's done everything expected of him like keeping his room tidy, doing his homework etc. This works fine for us but I appreciate it doesn't fit with everyone. (He's 11 btw) We are also a thrifty family, I don't get my nails done (or anything else) either, I even cut and colour my own hair, I buy new clothes once a year.
My parents didnt pay me do anything. But gave me an allowance to help manage money.
I don't give mine an allowance either and I don't use the word chore. Here you're responsible for caring for our home. And yes, they can earn money and do. My 11 year old son earned $20 for helping fix a ride on lawn mower we had. It wasn't his responsibility so he earned money. But I'm not going to pay them to clean up their crumbs and pick up their underwear.
We got one dollar a day if we did the dishes and the kitchen. Not our bedroom though.
That’s how it is at our house. If they do extra work to save for something big/expensive then that is fine. A regular allowance though just doesn’t happen.
I get my money from charging my siblings for eggs
👏🏼
I think children having fixed responsibilities and being paid for anything outside of it actually connects money to chores more than a fixed allowance. I have many positive childhood memories of helping my parents with big multi-day tasks, which wouldn’t have felt the same if I was being paid each time. I felt part of the family, in the same sense as my parents: If something needed doing and I was there and capable of helping, then I did. I never felt that my allowance was tied to the ordinary housework I did. The allowance was just a practical way of ensuring that I could occasionally buy something without having to ask my parents for it.
I like that in Germany kids get Kindergeld, so that parents don’t feel like they’re paying their kids to exist, but also it gives the children an opportunity to learn to manage money. I grew up financially spoiled and still have trouble managing money now as an adult
Good job! I had no allowance. Had many hours of chores a week as a child growing up. Grew up on a 5 acres mowing a huge lawn, pulling weeds, tending to citrus trees, planting. . My parents always said that we would be in the poor house soon . Haha. I knew that wasn't true, but I was shocked to see how much my parents were worth as an adult. It was millions of dollars. Haha. We got one present for Christmas . Sports equipment . No designer clothes.Shopped at Sears. Lol. I am glad that I was raised like that! It made me value money, and work hard . You are absolutely right Mayim!
I gave my daughter an allowance because I never got an allowance. I feel it did teach her how to handle money. She use to go with me to thrift stores and hated it. But as she got older and worked to make her own money she LIKED thrift stores and yard sales. When she was about 11-12 she saved her money to join an ice skating class because one of her friends was taking that class as well. She has always been good with math so I encouraged her to go in that direction. She works in the finance department to this day for a bus company.
Allowance is actually a good thing. I've had allowance for my whole school life and that's helped a lot. I don't ask my parents for additional money if I need something in school or have to pay for certain activities. It's my way of helping them out while I'm in school instead of hogging everything financially. I paid half of my ps4 for my birthday, games are mine to buy, I managed to buy myself a Nike off of the sales I made selling chocolates using my allowance as capital.
In fact, I pay for most of my things, braces (monthly payment comes from my sales), clothes (I buy off of thrift stores, parents rarely buy any for me), equipment and supplies for my aquarium (which I bought) and more. It really does help me since I can budget a lot of my money without relying on my parents too much. Sometimes I don't even ask for my allowance when they forget to give me some for the week.
Well they must be giving you quite a bit of money for your allowance. But as a parent we can’t control what children buy unless we handle the money. If my kids want an expensive game console I will decide if they can use the money I provide to buy one. It’ll all depend of how well they’re graces are, how respectful they are at school or at home etc....
@@ivettefrias89 nope, just plain simple $6 a week. It took me a while to build that capital. I agree with the attitude control though, I mostly act accordingly and I'm nothing like that arrogant kid who gets his stuff bought for him and breaks it within the next few months.
That is, if $6 is considered hefty for you I've had that allowance since I was in grade 7, elementary days had me at like $3-4 a week. I'm 18 now.
No offense but it’s sad that you had to pay half for your birthday present
Yeah, I don't know. I think $6 is quite a lot if you consider that you make about $1 a day, no matter what. That never happens in "real", adult life.
It's not my place to judge and I am just here to read the comments because I have a 4 year old so I'm just starting to think about these things. But I'd probably rather put that $6 a week onto a bank account and give it to my child when he's older.
Growing up, I didn't get a fixed allowance. Our parents gave us money but we were told to, "Spend it as necessary". And that's what I did. It taught me to be conscious of how I spend my money and always consider whether what I'm paying for is a "need" or just a "want".
Thank you! I also didn't give my daughter an allowance. This is her home, she helped make the mess she can help clean it, as an adult we don't get paid to clean our homes. Seriously, I've been saying this for years. She also had additional chores she could do to EARN money but not for everyday cleaning/maintenance home chores. Couldn't agree more with you on this aspect.
I used to have an allowance when I was younger. But after a few weeks my parents gave up on it because I was too good keeping track of how much they owed me. (They rarely carried cash) I tallied it up to about $60 before they took allowance away entirely.
I was serious about making sure I got paid for my work.
I relate to this comment so much
You’re channel is so great because every comment in the comments section is respectful and literate. Love you Mayim 🥰
I was raised by grandparents who lived through post-WW2 Britain. Baring in mind the country was broke for awhile after. A working class upbringing in general. So frugality, repairing and recycling/upcycling...did that before it was "cool". With that said, I didn't get an allowance. I didn't complain, because it was understandable as to why. I had to earn money. I mean, I was using power tools, mixing cement, doing carpentry, and DIY as a kid.
Gurl, we are twins. My son is the oldest and I started with him at 14. However, he had do the hard labor for it. He loved Pokémon than so it got done. At 15 he started a job a movie theater part time and we did the process of learning how to budget. Hes 25 now, he's so frugal now that I argued with him to live and enjoy the fruit of his labor responsibly not by just save. Im proud in every way. I'm not rich by any means but I think this is an excellent way for children to navigate financial responsibility. It is a joy to see your kids independence well managed. Keep up the good work, they are and will be awesome gentleman.
im 21 and i should get an allowance just for existing, life is hard man.
Mood
In some countries that is actually a thing, because society as a whole is better off and safer if we don't have a lot of desperate homeless people who do who knows what to survive or turn crazy/bitter and disruptive. The goal is always to make sure you can find a job and there are programs for it, but e.g. in Finland homeless people are even given apartments because it is so much easier to give consistent care and get good results from mental health programs if they are available at a fixed address and don't have to be constantly tracked down and won't keep missing appointments. People are way less of a danger to their fellow people if they can survive without resorting to crime.
damn straight
Il Al in my country family take care of one an other and we do not have homeless people. I’m 22 and i don’t have a job yet but i have my father, mother and big sister giving me money on a monthly basis. And i live with my mother.
Grow up.
My brother and I never got an allowance either, for the same reasons! It never occurred to me that we should get paid to help out and we also weren't Res asked to do much often. When I was saving up for my first laptop I was given £5 every week but then I was given a schedule of chores that I had to follow which included things like cooking the family meal once a week, not the regular chores I'd be asked to do. I personally think it was the best way, which worked well for our family. We really value money as it's not something we've come to expect every time we need it 😊
I started getting an allowance around the age of 6 years old. By the time I was 8 I had saved up enough money to buy myself a Nintendo DS. I don't know how but I've always been pretty responsible with my money. So instead of not getting an allowance and having my parents buy me fun things, I was challenged to be responsible with my money from a very young age because I was always a kid who really liked being independent. From the moment I could do something by myself, like holding a fork and eating with it and walking, I refused to let my parents help me with those things or be in a buggy or stuff like that. So I'm actually very glad I was given that responsibility because now, as a 20 year old who is moving out in a couple of months, I'm very much aware of the value of money and I know how to budget etc.
I had a small allowance from the age of 8. It was not linked to chores or small work, it was just a small amount of money my parents gave me to spend. I think it was formative for me, I did not have to ask to my parents every time I wanted something (so I felt free), but at the same time, as it was just a small amount of money, I started to be more conscious about small expenses because than I would not have money for the bigger things (even if I had not a specific big desire at the moment)
I did get an allowance growing up. I feel like many people have the wrong idea about kids who receive allowance.
First, I have to mention, my allowance was $0.50 a week. From 9-12 years of age. We (my brother and I) didn't receive our allowance for expected chores. We received it like a paycheck, that we could save for things like candy or a rented movie. Things my family didn't provide for us. I had to go to my dad with charts and graphs, showing the inflation rate of a candy bar, to get the amount raised to $2.
I mentioned this to a friend who said "I wish I had an allowance." To which I asked "if you wanted to go to a movie with a friend, how did you get the money to go?" She said "I asked for it." I explained, "that didn't work in my family. If I didn't have enough allowance saved, I didn't get to go to the movie."
Allowance isn't about money for regular chores. It's about understanding financial savings, and that sometimes you can't do something, because you can't afford it.
Hmm. That is a good point
My sons, who are now 30 and almost 25, never got an allowance but they were given the opportunity to earn money at home. I was a single parent of 2 sons most of their lives so that means lots of odd jobs that "a man" might normally do, i.e. cleaning out the gutters on the steep roof of our house. They had their normal chores but when things came up that were outside their normal chores, gutter cleaning etc., they would negotiate with me on a "payment". Payments were not always money in our house. One year I needed to replace 2 windows in the house and they each pitched in to help their Mom remove the old windows, fix the window sills, install the new windows, etc. The oldest got 2 hours extended to his curfew for the 8th grade dance and the youngest wanted to go away with a friends family for a 2 week vacation, this was what they got for helping me out. You don't need to always pay a child with money to teach them that hard work pays off in lots of different ways.
I met a fellow who was teaching his 4 year old to pay rent. She had to pay $.04 rent, then she would know the value of money. He didn’t want her growing up with the expectation of being given things she didn’t earn. She helps her daddy around the house, not too much, slave labor and all that.
I, on the other hand, never was taught that if I wanted something, I had to work for it. I wish I had, that would have been useful! Made many mistakes and still paying for it!
You’re a good mother, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
Not a mom but admired a friend who is. She started taking her son to soup kitchens to help when he was just a little tyke. Each year in October'ish she required he give up all his toys except the one he played with most. Those were cleaned up a wrapped for other kids who would otherwise not have a Christmas. I introduced her to my other friend who likewise never had children who would go every Black Friday and buy all the toys two or more grocery carts would hold and haul them to the local fire department collecting toys for tots. Best friend marriage made right there. Me, I just donated cash to round everything out. Every young child should learn about giving to others who have so much less than we do. Thank you Mayim for this post.
I think it's stupid to ask for likes before the main part of the video. "The like" is supposed to rate the quality of the video not to show that you are happy the person uploaded something.
Thank you.
I didn’t get an “allowance” per se. Around middle school my parents started giving me lunch money for the week and it was up to me how to spend it. If I wanted to buy something other than food I would have to buy cheaper items or skip lunch so that I could buy items I wanted.
Honestly I think it taught me a valuable lesson between using money on necessities (I.e. food) versus luxury items (I.e toys and games) and how to balance between the two.
My single Mother taught me the value of money by letting me make choices on how to spend it. For instance when it was time to buy. Back to School clothes, she gave me a budget. The smarter I was with my choices the more clothes I got. If I wanted designer Jeans then I wore the same Jeans all year long. She did the same even after I got my first job. She would tell me that she was willing to spend X amount on new tennis shoes (ECT.) If I wanted more expensive ones, I had to pay the difference. So it taught me to respect money and be practical about name brand shopping.
I am from middle class and my parents never gave me an allowance. My parents worked really hard to gave us the life we have, and teach us to value it. I started working at 18, I didn’t need to do it. But most my friends worked and watching them being independent from their parents made me want to be independent too.
😂 mean mean bad mommy lol
Jessica Kent i laughed at that too😂
You stole that right off my finger-tips. lol
Aren't we all ;)
I love how down to earth and “normal” you are, considering you are a great actress and a celebrity. I totally agree with your way of parenting.
I give my niece $4 mostly once in a while but at one stage it was every week, she’s currently 4. I did this because it was costing me $10 a week in a toy. She has $2 for the ride outside the chemist and $2 for either another ride or her buy a toy jar. At one point she had $30 dollars saved up. We went to the museum and she chose a fossil to buy for $40. She used some of her money $10 and I chipped in the rest. She’s also been to our local Kmart store and has bought some pretty good games: a mini tabletop soccer game, hungry hippos, Trouble, and pickup sticks. The best bit though is when she asks if she can ‘feed the doggy’. The guide dog association has a guide dog statue that serves as a donation box. Seeing her drop the coins in and pat the statue is just lovely. I love that she is getting to make choices about what she wants to spend her money on, that she is learning that sometimes you have to save up and that it’s fun to give to others. And I love the fact that it’s not costing me a bomb each week. Together we are learning spending boundaries in a way that makes her feel good that she gets stuff and that I don’t feel awful for saying ‘no’. (Sometimes she actually has more cash than I do).
So, my son is 14 and I just started to get him an allowance. He knows, if we're falling into financial trouble, he will help me with it. We don't have a tzedaka box, but since he was little, we donated any clothes, shoes, utensils, etc we don't use, to a donation store who benefits a women's shelter (victims of domestic violence) Having said that, he consult me when, and on what, he wants to use it.
I am on team allowance. I also feel it's important for each family member to help out with chores and that is not tied to allowance. Yes, adults get paid for their jobs but adults still provide food, clothing, and shelter for their children. My thinking is allowances are training for later financial responsibilities. Giving an allowance can be weekly, or even something as simple as a "back to school" allowance for clothing and supplies. Many parents set the allowance starting when the child understands the concept of money (say age five or six) and they get their age (a ten-year-old gets ten dollars a week). BUT parents decide beforehand what the child covers with that money. As in..."Can I go see the new, whatever movie".... "Sure, if you have the funds to pay for it." Also, many parents use a three jar system...part of the allowance goes to savings, part to giving and part to spend.
Allowance isn't given for helping around, though it can be taken away for not helping, think about it, it works. ;) Also, you say you still buy your kids things, so what's the difference? Back in the day, when I was a kid, I had an allowance, and I could buy what I wanted. If I wanted to spend it on candies, I could, but then if I "needed" a new toy, I couldn't just go to my parents and tell them to buy it, I had to save my allowance and buy it myself. And that included various things, for example my parents, obviously, bought me clothes, but because they were paying for that, they were choosing what I wore, if I wanted something, that was something different, esp. pricier or sth that they didn't like, I had to get it myself. And I could earn additional money not only for some special things, but also everyday chores, but only those that weren't mine to do, so eg. I had to clean my room and I'd never be paid for that, but if my parents wanted me to clean their room, I'd be paid.
serczykowski I was brought up the same way and it had taught me how to budget and save. 😊
I basically had the same rule raising my boys. You don't get money for anything that is expected from a productive member of the family, but extra "above and beyond" chores they could get paid for. Their grandparents and our family friends paid them for yard work. I honestly do not remember them ever asking to do one of these "extra" chores for money. They'd just drag a snow shovel or lawn mower around the neighborhood to get spending money or wait until birthday/holiday gifts.
I agree with u because my mother (Hispanic) sounded just like u every time I'd ask her for allowance. Now, 20 years later, I'm glad she is this way. Your kids will be thankful eventually.
I'm still not
I support any decision parents make and I think there are valuable lessons on both sides here. My parents gave my siblings and I an allowance starting when we were like 6ish. There were 4 years between us so the jobs got split up equally. Youngest would collect all the trash from around the house, empty smaller waste baskets, etc. Middle helped with washing dishes and doing laundry, oldest took out the trash every week, mowed the lawn in the warmer months and shoveled the driveway in the winter. We would get paid $5, $10, and $15 per week, and once we started driving got $5 for gas to and from school. I also started working when I was 12. I got a job babysitting my neighbors 3 kids and that lasted up until I was 19 when they moved. With each of my siblings, the way we spent money was very different. My brother didn't spend much but bought something if he wanted or needed it (this went mostly towards Sega games), my sister bought everything she had the impulse to buy, and I saved. I saved every dollar I made because at that age there wasn't really much I needed. I occasionally bought a game for my Gameboy or a super adorable stuffed animal and book fair at my school took a decent bit, but by the time I was like 16 I had a few grand saved up and I bought stocks that I picked out myself (I know, a super fun thing that all teenagers are dying to do lol). And in 3 years, when I was in college, instead of going into horrible debt, I went to a community college and had grown that $3k to $15k. I never had to pay student loans. I never had to starve myself. I was able to stay living with my parents and when I turned 18 I stopped getting an allowance and started doing the chores to "earn my keep" so to speak. I know I'm not most kids, but I'm glad I had that opportunity.
I don’t- I don’t get an allowance,
*I clean for food and shelter*
Yes, yes ,yes I'm 42 and never was given an allowance of money. I was told by my grandparents when I ask for an allowance that I was allowed to follow the rules and instructions given to run a successful and clean household. I was allowed to watch TV I was allowed to sit at their dinner table and eat food they worked hard to buy and prepare for me out of love. I was allowed to sleep in a nice warm bed in a beautifully decorated room. I took it as they allowed me to participate in everything they paid the cost for and after being grown I've come to realize that they allowed me to learn from them by setting the best of examples. We were never rich but the abundance in that house of love was priceless. Thank goodness there's a like minded mommy out there. Your Awesome.
Mayim, you’re a woman after my own heart! My first daughter will be named Mayim. I’m serious. FYI... my name starts with an M as well😁 so it just makes sense. I’ve been a fan forever, not just your work, but of so many things about you & how you parent, and how you live. Bravo! Your parents should be unbelievably proud!
Omg its like listening to my Dad only it was more 'I pay for your food - work or don't eat your choice'
Susie English this made me lol 😂
Omg i love this! Lol
Except dad goes to jail if he doesn’t feed you lol. I’m sure he was just making a point though! Geez my mom would never threaten us with FOOD though that’s harsh...
Well, your kids do get an allowance just not from you. I agree you shouldn't pay for everyday chores around the house, but having your own money is important. There's no better way to learn than through experience and good budgeting skills are crucial in adult life. Dealing with money should start as early as possible, ane obseving how mom spends is something quite different than deciding about your own money and spendings. I plan to give my kids allowance as early as possible and ask them to pay themselves for certain things (present for grandma, cell phone bill, ice cream with friends, partial costs of something "extra"). Everything at age-appropriate level.
totally agree.
100 percent agree and I think that Mayim knows more than all of us combined about "Statistically speaking" and i would really think that statistically speaking, kids who were taught young and consistently about money, how to save, spend, and work for it, i would think statistically they are Much, much better at money all around. And think about how much that helps in life at Any age when you know how to save, spend and handle money!! But I also know that SES (no matter how much a celebrity wants to say they are like you & me) SES Plays a Huuge role in it and they are Not like you & me or your average person. There is Nothing wrong with that it is just a Matter and FACT of having money breeds differences and also how you do things. i.e. parenting....js
Agree. There's so many teenagers clueless about money and budgeting.
I respect your reasoning. I didn't grow up in a rich family, but probably around 6 or 7 I started getting allowance--when I started learning about coins and money. They would give my sister and I 25 cents a week. A few years down the line, 50 cents. Then a dollar. Eventually, by the time I was a tween, $5. And right before I got a job, because I mowed our 4 acre lawn, I would get $10 but once I had a job at around 14 I told my parents they need no longer do that. I was always the frugal one, who saved up my money to buy something perfect, not settling for something that didn't fir my needs as well and would break sooner. As a result I didn't shop often. My mother bought things we needed, like food and clothes, of course, and spoiled us a little with clothes. I think it taught me well how to save and value things I got--and actually, I think this is a huge skill--research. I would research the perfect product and find the best deal, waiting for the most opportune time. Patience. I think it taught me a lot. That being said, we did have lots of chores to do. Living in the country, we had a half acre sized garden and were required to weed it every day for at least an hour. We picked up rocks off the lawn and threw them back on the dirt road, we watered, fed, and cooped up the chickens at night. Swept the house. Tidied, did the dishes (a lot in a house of 4 children) took out compost, garbage, etc. Cleaned the cars on rare occasions. Now, it wasn't always enforced, and most my childhood was spent playing and avoiding chores as much as possible, lol, but they generally got done. That being said, I am still not sure if allowance is best! I think it depends on your family and your children. Choose what's best for you.
We give an allowance for chores, but only some of the work in the house is a paid chore. Picking up after yourself is NOT a chore, helping put away groceries does not get $$, they are not paid for doing their own laundry, etc. We have them use their allowance to buy their own Slurpees and small things like that. I think it helps kids learn that the way to get paid is to do work, and they learn about budgeting. I did not get an allowance growing up and I’m loving all the comments from adults like myself who were told “I ALLOW you to live here” and “You get paid 3 times a day”! 😂 Such simple, wonderful wisdom and I am glad I learned those lessons. There are lessons to be learned from every style and I don’t believe one is a mistake, nor is one perfect. It’s a win if we’re teaching and they’re learning. 🙌🏻
I don't think kids need to get an "allowance" per se. However, I feel that they should handle some kind of money quite early on; not a lot of money, maybe they should be responsible for buying some of the things they need. I for example went to a middle and high school where you had to pay for lunch daily in cash and my parents gave me my lunch money monthly, so I had to learn to budget and make sure the money lasted me throughout the month. It also allows kids the safety to make those early money mistakes we all made while still under their parents roof as opposed to when they get to college for the first time and run out then turn to shady practices to make more...
she has her kids very excluded from the world and they will end up not able to exist without her if she ever has an accident for example... she homeschool them, she doesnt give them allowance... it is possible those kids wont be able to face the world when they get old... and i am starting to realize why she is divorced... she is not that pretty and her methods are rediculus...
This made me think. That I remember it basically says it all. I'm 52. My family did not have a lot of money growing up, but I was not really aware of it, as it was not put upon me other than taught to not be wasteful in many ways; food, fads, taking care of things we owned. I was not given money for gifts -that was considered extremely tacky by my parents. I was never paid for grades - I was expected to do well and never made to work as school was my "job", although I occasionally babysat in hs, or helped in my parents business IF my schoolwork was caught up and my grades were where they should be, which meant no less than one B last report card. I also wasn't allowed to play sports or things outside of school that cost money and took time from study. Music, student gov't, academic clubs were fine and within school hours. I was never paid to do anything at home, that was part of living, including dishes, food gardening, pets, keeping my room clean and raking, shoveling, mowing, which I HELPED with along with my parents as I wasn't treated as free labor for their house. My parents were DIYers, but I wasn't painting the house or on the roof, although I would be around to fetch or make dinner that day so they could keep working. In 5th grade we had a class trip to the bank to open a savings acct. (5.5% interest!) Along with the permission slip, was a needed deposit and it was at this point my parents started giving me an allowance. It was $10 at 10 -which was a lot compared to my friend's $3-5. However it was explained to me that I would no longer get lunch money ($2) but as before I could save that money if I chose to bring a lunch from home (that I had to make), and I would now have that extra money as part of the ten through school vacations. Also some amt was expected to be put into the new acct, my choice how much. It was explained that now with this money, I would not need or be expected to ask for things I previously did; money for buying gifts or for my own special items or for outings with friend's now to be budgeted from my allowance or savings. Coats, shoes, underwear and basics were still provided, anything frivolous was on me. As I got older this included anything beyond the basic family shampoo, like makeup etc, and big things like a car and insurance if I wanted one. So over eight years: $10 @ 10/11/12, $12 @ 13/14/15/16 and @17 $15, until college is $4300. They paid for my first semester of college, plus $350 for books and the leftover was spending money. (it was 1984 and that actually was enough) After that, working and scholarships and grants paid for two private school degrees, no loans, no car loans to date, no credit card balances ever. No borrowed money except a mortgage. I learned to live within my means and wait until I could afford something. A lot of people here are saying kids shouldn't get money for existing. But if you ever give them money for ANYthing beyond food, basic clothing and shelter, you are anyway. But you are making them beg for it in a very controlling way that doesn't really teach what money is WORTH. A dollar and a hundred dollar bill looks the same to a baby. Or a fifteen year old if they want something for $20 and they are given it. Or get a cell phone as a gift, or whatever. An allowance is giving a child choice, some taste of the concept of autonomy, and your trust that they are capable, not treating them like an irresponsible loser who needs constant managing or a burden for simply being born.
Gustave- Your 'dissertation', though lengthy, shows a bit of merit. Kudos!
I was waiting for her to make the "Mean mean bad mommy" joke a third time
As a psychologist I don't recomend for Kids to recieve money just for doing their home duty, but if there is a exceptional Hard task like doing the guardens or fixing something I do recomend to be reinforced with a little money. (sorry for my spelling, I'm a little rusted in writting english).
Javier Fernando Jesus Ramirez Corzo Salazar you should spell check
If you are a psicologyst, shouldn't you at least know how to spell "psychologist"? As a post graduate student in psychology, I know it's spelt the same ALL over the world and would pecially be known, by a psychologist...
@@rosieglows In Spanish and Portuguese, it's spelt 'psicólogo' which could explain OP's spelling 'psicologyst'.
Nessa Lys
Correct. In Portuguese “psicólogo” is psychologist in English :)
@@rosieglows Jeez, don't be so judgemental, if you are becoming a clinical psychologist good luck to your patience. He literally stated that his English is rusty, just because someone doesn't speak or write the same language as you does not make them unsmart. Also, hypathetically even if psychologist was spelt the same every (which I don't believe, because each language has their own alphabet and letters) there are countries that have different symbols for each letter, like various asian countries, Russia, etc. so even if it was spelt the same in his country, maybe the symbols were different. Doesn't matter, we need to learn to judge less and help more, especially if your going into psychology, but even for us regular Joe's it's important.
Best actress and very good person ❤️
I love the "Amy" doll in the back
In Germany it's called Taschengeld, pocket money. I cant remember at what age I started getting some, but it wasn't much to begin with. It was never tied to any behaviour, achievements or whatever. If my parents wanted me to do household chores or get better grades they just told me that I had to do them or work for them in my own interest. Ultimately they wanted me to act responsible and with internal motivation. The Taschengeld I got was enough to buy little things I liked but did not necessarily need, because those things I got from my parents obviously. I think it all worked out fine. I don't believe that there's just one right way. If anything parents should have a look at their children individually and decide based on what motivates and teaches them best. But I do think it's valuable to show your children (at a certain age, not when they are really young) that you trust them to spend their own money on things they want without having to ask for everything all the time. Of course they are going to buy things the parents wouldn't necessarily buy themselves, but as long as it's not completely inappropriate that should be allowed. As they mature they like to be treated more and more like an equal and a responsible and independent person. But their "job" is going to school and to do homework etc which isn't paid. So unless you want them to take on another job, a real job which is paid, I think it's only fair to give them a little something of their own. But: that's just how I grew up and how I feel about it. It's also interesting to see how many people in this comment section have reasons to not like the idea of Taschengeld.
Shalom Mayim,nice blue shirt and you are an awesome mother i am sure
I agree with almost all you said except your Rule #1. "You don't get an allowance because I don't get an allowance" seems (and I say this in what I hope is not insulting by any means, cause I love ya!) rather immature. As parents it's our 'job' and responsibility to clean, cook, and care for our kids. The individual parent gets to decide how much of those responsibilities their child will partake in and whether or not they will get an allowance.My daughter does not get a weekly allowance (yet anyways) nor does she earn money by doing her daily chores, but she does get a monetary award for excelling at school. It's a positive reinforcement to do well in school that works for us and also teaches her money management skills as she saves for something she wants to buy and often chooses to donate some of her savings (which makes me one very proud Mama!)
Personally, I don't think money for studying is the right reason (at the same time, not saying that my opinion is somehow superior to yours). I never got any money for studying at school, because my mum did not believe that money should be the reason behind doing that - the reason for children to study is to expand their knowledge, get to know the world as well as represent sth with yourself and become somebody in life. I strongly agree - nowadays, negotations seem to be a thing - kids come to my classes and they think I will negotiate everything with them and make deals - how much homework I can give, what they will do etc - which is not happening since it results in their ultimate goal, which is to do nothing at all, chat about video games and designer clothes (I didn't even know $400 shoes existed when I was 12) and other stuff...
Why don't you do other activities instead of giving your daughter money? You know, there are more valuable things than money: you can go out with her, go to the theater or museum together, a concert, having lunch at a different place, these things, these experiences have more value than money, it's a way of sharing joy and memories, also studying hard is just one of her obligations as doing her daily chores. As I said, I don't think money is a thing like a reward, it just shouldn't be.
@@livemellifluously If you must know, we take our daughter out almost weekly. I don't feel that making memories should have to wait on or be subject to chores, grades, ect. But hey, everyone has their own opinion. My daughter loves studying and is at the top of her class. Her monetary reward is an added bonus to her already hard work.
How is that immature? Adults don't get an allowance for existing, so why create that expectation in kids? It's life, it's not a "I'm rubber, you're glue" situation.
@@notthefather3919 it's hardly creating an expectation of receiving an allowance for life. She's learning that her hard work has value. Same as a working adult earns a paycheck. She'll know Mommy and Daddy won't give her money all her life.
I got an allowance as a child, all the way through high school. However, I was expected to do chores, like vacuum, clean the bathrooms, and dust. My children have never received an allowance. We provide them with what they need. They refuse to do basic chores, so no money. As you said, no one pays me to do all the housework. It’s a different world these days.
We (my two brothers and I) NEVER got an allowance! I'm 60 years old, physically disabled (so on Social Security), live alone in a small house in East Texas (which, thanks to my wonderful brothers for adding part of their inheritance, I own outright), and am able to live very comfortably, because I was taught the value of a dollar by wonderful parents!!! So keep up your good parenting! Your boys will appreciate it when they're older!!!
I loved the way you described your scientific or graphic calculator as fancy calculator
Even though I am/have been raised differently (14 currently) I can respect your parenting decision and understand it. I can't say I would follow in your footsteps though. Getting 20p or 50p every time I did series of chores filled me with determination to help a lot more, and yes, it did also make me happy to see myself being more productive just with some motivation.
I can't wait to get a job so I can have a steady income and not worry about money as much as I do. No clue why i'm a paranoid saver at 14 but I guess it's not a bad trait for when I move out and have to do bills and find the best deals in shops for equipment.
I started paying my daughter for completing chores a couple years ago. She's 13. In my mind, her current career is school where she pays herself by achieving. She volunteers her time assisting at the Boys and Girls Club and her martial arts club. My son on the other hand was prone to under-achieving. I found he didn't care about money but would reach for bars where prestige was the reward. I enrolled him into the International Baccalaureate program at school and gave him spending money on occasion while expecting him to be part of the family chore routine. In case you're wondering, having them 17 years apart really helped with competition and jealousy issues ;-)
My parents gave me an allowance, and then told me I had to use my allowance to pay for piano lessons that I didn’t want to take….
But you’re so right and teaching them about finances is important. And I absolutely love that you include donating to charities as part of what you’re teaching them…. And I too love thrift stores, and I’ve taught me nieces to love them too.
I never got an allowance. I lived with my dad and 4 siblings. We were very very poor farmers (we made $10,000 a year) We would work hard 8 hour days in the field without pay. My dad hurt his back so we would cook and clean and do everything else that needed to be done.
We lived in an extremely run done farm house, using a woodstove to heat and cook. Any clothes we had werehand me downs from family or friends. We grew our food in the field and the barn. Only eating what we could produce. The expensive things produced were saved for selling at the farmers market. We didn’t have toys or entertainment and we didn’t have time for that anyways. If we had free time we would go to The forest and build forts.
We never saw a dime and we never complained about it. When I turned 12 I got a babysitting job and gave all my income to my dad is hopes of helping him have a better life. When I was 14 I began working full time hours at a KFC and gave my dad 90% of my income. Saving 10% to move out of the house so I could be less of a burden.
Today I am extremely financially savvy and can live on very little. I have a large amount of savings and will be able to retire early thanks to living this way. I don’t feel a need to buy the “extra things”. I cut my own hair and still have the same clothes from 7 years ago. I don’t need to do any of this because me and my hubby do very well for ourselves. I do it because I don’t feel a need to have “luxury” because of the way I was brought up.
I think that when you see your parents go through extreme struggle, and you live in slum conditions with the bare minimum, it makes you look at the world differently. My standards of living are quite low simply because I never had anything to compare it to. When my child is born he or she will not get an allowance, he or she will believe that our family is poor so that they can learn the struggles and hardships and the real value of a few cents.
Jess R tbh it doesnt matter the kind of salary the parents get, they still work hard for it (some more than others) and most of that money goes into taking care of the family needs, so they shouldn’t have to pay extra just because you want something. They should obviously spend a bit extra SOMETIMES like on birthdays/Christmas but giving your kids allowance???? It’s like a damn subscription now. “Pay me $50 a month for respect from your damn kids” even though after all that their kids are still ungrateful little brats.
Jasmine Imiya Can deffanitly agree that all parents work hard for their money. My only point was that as a child it made my siblings and I a lot more grateful for what we had. There was never a time that we were mad at my dad for not providing because we knew it was impossible to give us more.
Also totally agree, most kids don’t appreciate the allowance they get. They deffanitly don’t need the money to go spend on things they don’t need.
Same here if you were brought up in a poor household you don’t see the need for an allowance when you have to worry about other items 👍🏽. People who are from medium income families are all for allowances.
Ya'll think you're poor? 😂
You had an exceptional lifestyle, you learn the value of money because you had nothing and neither did your parents, you learnt what it meant to earn money early and what difference it can make. In the video this is not the case she’s well off, she’s paying for her kids to do all kinds of things so they get what they want but aren’t experiencing the concept of having money and then it being traded for goods and services they just either get what they want or don’t with no independent choice or thinking. Also if the farm is only making 10k a year with multiple people working 8 hour days probably best to quit as you’re obviously doing something horribly wrong as most farmers make loads of money and you guys might as well all work in fast food it pays better.