Story 1: Maintain No Contact. Be aware of fiance who stepped over your boundaries/not supportive of your feelings. Friends must be on your side and kept your info private/no more meddling!! It's YOUR life !!!
Story 1: I never understand why a partner can't recognize that when enough is enough. While I get that the fiance grew up without parents, she can't force a relationship. OP's best friend's parents should have left the situation alone too.
💯 - Best answer. The fiance weaving a big red flag with not respecting bounderies. If he don't live her - she will stab him in the back on the next oportunity and it will be sooner as he think.
Fiancee is selfish and trying to live out a family life despite how it affects you. You may want to set boundaries she seems like the type to keep in contact with them, send them money, and invite them to the wedding all without telling OP. For best friend mom deserves the harassment, she should have minded her buisness. She got what she wanted. 🤦🏿♀️
She needs to be put in her place and be told in NO unnecessary terms that she can deal w her own idiotic trauma, but overstep this boundary w his parents and she is moving out.
Setting aside the shit "parents' for a moment, I would've thrown out the fiancee on her sorry oblivious butt. When you tell your partner (or anyone, for that matter) you don't want people like that in your life they need to either respect that or gtfo.
I want to bitshh smack that woman. How clueless is she. OP was obviously furious at their appearance. From the way OP talked,he had told her about his parents treatment of him. Yet she eagerly invited them to stay. WTF. I really don't unsterstand why OP didn't kick his parents out the door immediately they first time that brain dead idiot invited them in. Why didn't OP put his foot down that very day. Tell that.......they are never allowed in his house again. No ifs,ands or buts. If she has any further contact with them,he will drop her. The engagement will be off. She will GTFO. As for the friends mom that gave his parents his address. He should cut her off. Move and don't give her the new address. Block her on everything. She actually betrayed OP worse than that thing he called his fiancé. This story beyond pissed me off,it's much to close to home for me. Merry Fuuuking Christmas Eve.
@@lindah3803 The moment they'd showed up on my doorstep and she let them in I would've said, "F***ing forget it. You couldn't convince me to let you two stay here if you offered me all the money in the universe. You have thirty seconds to get lost before I call the cops." Then I would've turned to HER and said, "And you. If I ever hear any more bs come out of your mouth involving my parents again, the wedding's off. Take it or leave it." Some people are delusional; this wasn't some guy who just got involved in a misunderstanding with his parents as a teen. They ABUSED him from day one; there's no coming back from that. I also wouldn't trust her to not go behind his back and actually invite them to the wedding after all that. OP needs to realize that you can't let ANYONE in your life if they try to make you play happy family with your abusers. I highly doubt she's even doing this for him; she just wants to have that complex of the superhero who reunited a broken family. Either that or she believes if she can get them all to kiss and make up, OP will get a hefty inheritance someday.
@@whitneybennett4857 Who knows what was going through her head. You make a good point about the wedding. It all depends on whether she has learned her lesson and is willing to accept how things are/will be.
First story. First off, it is NOT the childs fault that they were the result of rape. But, if they didn't want that child, they should have put them up for adoption rather than keep the child and abuse it.
Story 1 Why didn't OP's parents give him up for adoption if that was their attitude to him? They clearly hated and resented him! OP's fiancee was way, way out of line. She had no right to disrespect OP when he said he wanted nothing to do with his parents. All his parents wanted was OP's money.
This sounds like one of those creative writing class stories from a student who did poor research. No mention is ever made about DNA testing, so is Op really not his father's child? And then there is Plan (I forget what it was called back in the nineties). Then, since obviously the parents didn't see abortion as an option, there was adoption. That would have been easy enough to do ahead of time, and a private adoption agency could have helped with the back story for why the parents didn't ring the baby home from the hospital.
Telling the truth is always wise. The people your mom lies to could someday ask to invest in your company if you ever start one. The fallout/scandal following the truth being revealed could ruin you. I would suggest taking individual courses on business, accounting, nutrition, management, advertising etc... these will help you in your future business.
I’m glad someone said it because I was wondering why those people couldn’t see that a professional settings is not the place to exaggerate your child’s accomplishments especially if the parent is benefiting from the lies, image how many jobs or accounts she may have landed due to those lies or how many people were passed over for a job thinking she was honest and trustworthy. She may have also made professional promises based on her daughter’s education without telling the daughter, who knows what kind of damage she could do to the daughter’s reputation before she even has a chance to chose a career.
Story 2 Those are his kids too,he needs to be responsible. Why is it his kids when it’s convenient? They both made them,they didn’t just show up. If she won the lottery,he would be asking for half.
That friend who gave out OP's address was later regretting it in the end when OP's parents went to their to complain. Sometimes you need to mind your f ing business instead of reuniting people with their toxic parents.
They may have not known he was the product of the rape. Willing to bet the "mother" never got therapy after the rape and they only kept him because of how it would look to others if they had given him up for adoption. No matter their excuses they mistreated him and made his growing up years heck. Hopefully he gets counseling to over come the damage his "parents" did.
OP grew up without parents too, he just still lived in the house with his. He would have been better off in foster care than in that house. His fiance needs to stop pinning her wishes for parents on him.
@@dementedqueen4392 Of course OP owes them! After all, it was OP that let the guy who attacked his mother into the house, right? Probably split the money from the robbery with him, too! What do you mean, OP wasn't even born yet?
1st story. The boundaries that were continually trampled, is reason enough to breakup with the fiance. When you say certain things are non-negotiable, that needs to be respected, and if your partner can't respect that, it's just better to be alone.
So the theory is.. let her lie on you without correction to save her face. However, if someone asks you how or college, you still have to lie to save her face? Don't lie and there will be no questions to answer. It's just a little lie is still a lie. SMH.. Lies uncontested is truth denied.
Child care.. tell hubby there are two options here.. either he pays 50% of child care costs NOW..... OR.,, you DIVORCE him, he STILL will pays 50% child care.. and lives ALONE!! Which'll it be???
That I was thinking too. If he lost his mariage over this he will soon "learn" to pay for child support. Honbestly your husband is being a jerk about this whole dinamic and you should put serious questions about the outcome.
Butt hole of a dad story: As a father myself you should sit him down and simply tell him, 1 pay me childcare now or 2 pay me childcare later. Either way you will pay. I love and want to stay married to you but, you're putting too much blame on my mother. These are your children also. You are responsible for raising them as well so, what will it be now or later. Then walk away. Don't argue anymore with him. This way he'll know you're serious. Talk to an attorney in the mean time. Also take the commenter advise and look into an apt for you and your mom. It's still cheaper.
Story 3 You should not have gone if you're relationship is rocky and your mother has your life planned out pushing college not listening to you and talking up your schooling by lying you where right to be annoyed by your mother lying and she's lying for her ego you should get a qualification while following your passion I think your mother should stop lying but it was lying while you are standing there is wrong she should not be ashamed of you
OP you have my deepest condolence. Your parents are blaming you for something that happened before you were even consived and continued to punish you for the rest of the time you lived with them, They don't deserve any of your time or money. They didn't even do what is the basic child care but chose to hide you like some sort of social perrin. They even tried to squash your desires and dreams. Keep them as far from you as possible,, Use the legal system if they refuse to accept your wishes.
I'd have looked at my husband and said the following; 'Did I make these kids on my own? Was this immaculate conception? And just because your mom likes bieng a sahm, dosent mean I DO. Plus,I didn't do this alone, so man up, pay up, share the cost foe a nanny or live alone!'
Story 2 I would never allow anybody including my parents to downgrade my significant other Simply because they don't agree with them. Husband is not right either by any means. Why doesn't he stay home and take care of the kids ? Last story NTA your mother should be proud of you for being the daughter that you are and not have to make things up she's lying and lying is wrong Don't listen to Anyone that says you should just let her lie why for what reason so that she can act like she's not proud of her Real Daughter ? Mom is the only one who Jeopardized her Reputation at work or anywhere else by being a liar and making her daughter feel less than.
Story 2 Is your husband truly so awful or are you supporting your mother you had two children in three years so your marriage could not get worse your mother hates him and you are supporting your mother consider is your husband truly so bad is he just refusing to give money to your mother because she making him miserable
I kind of get the feeling that OP either made the decision and moved her mother in without his equal approval or really didn't want a happy successful marriage because why would you move in your mother who actively hates and torments your husband into the home you share with him. It seems like the reverse of most of the Reddit stories we get and that OP is actually a Mommy's girl who never takes her husbands side and actively fans the flames between the two. The husband's demand of OP being a stay at home mom or paying entirely for childcare is his last ditch desperate attempt to get his monster in law out of their home so he can escape her torment.
The husband hates the mother in law because she's right about him. By OP's own admission, he's messy, doesn't earn much (OP is the main breadwinner). If he doesn't want MIL then he should organise and split for the childcare, as OP suggested, but he declined.
All the stories they read on this channel are like this, I've heard like 5 so far, where the kid is abused, a family friend/relative helps them, they grow up successful, the friend/family member betrays them, tells the shitty parents where they are, tells them the parents are sorry, but the find out they're really after the money. It's getting really old.
I sympathize with OP in the first story one of my many foster homes had me live in the basement on a mattress on the floor with a cardboard box around me and they were religious good Christian people I had to sneak food. Sometimes I remember one time getting up to get food and one of them I got up and I was hiding underneath the table. Glad those days are over.
I think the fiancé is a huge red flag and he should break up with her. Not respecting his feelings and pushing his parents on him after knowing what they put him through is unconscionable. She should be on his side. I can see her inviting them to the wedding. So wrong.
Not everyone needs to go to college. You can still learn, but you don’t have to go to college if you don’t want to, and most people get into debt because of school.
Never give anyone an address, especially for someone who doesn’t wanna see those people. OP parents were cruel to him. No there is going to be no getting back together with his parents and people need to stop meddling.
S1: OP needs to find a better life partner, who can understand and know their boundaries. He shouldn't be surprised if his fiancée did anything out of the ordinary. Fiancée is a ticking time bomb for OP, though she may be good at heart, her kindness will eventually put OP in a more painful situation in the future. She disrespected him so many times, even after he told her to stay away from this.
Story 2: NTA. Stop joining the money. Does Husband still have a crappy job? OP did not mention how much Husband brings home, so I have no idea if Husband can support OP being a stay-at-home mother. In addition, what is the point of this marriage? If OP has to foot the bill for the children they BOTH created AND partially pay for Husband's expenses, cut the dead weight--Husband.
Story 1: Chile, why do people's partners do this asinine sh*t??? You are not smart or better or more knowledgeable about people you have never met. Someone who will trample over your boundaries is not a person you should have in your life. Fiancée inviting the "parents" inside the home and to STAY should be a deal breaker. I probably would have went overboard by breaking up in front of them and kicking all out of my home.
Both mother and father take care of the kids they’re married there a couple they’re not singles. I think it’s time to think about divorcing him do you really love this man because this behavior is outrageous that he’s doing.
File for divorce and say now enjoy being dirty alone and also enjoy the money . Your going to pay for child care and support! My mom won't give you a discount any more. You can pack your bags and go . I make more but the lawyer will clean you out for support and you can live in a dump and enjoy the dirty put your life brought you too!!!!!
Probably not a popular opinion but if you can't bring yourself to love baby that resulted from rape better to give it up to someone who can or have abortion.
Fiance and friends mom were snakes. Don't let people who didn't suffer a day in your shoes tell you how to live or deal with those issues. Those morons can have big hearts but they're not the one suffering they just want to play match makers because it's fun to them and they're nosey on how it'll go when you already know. So if they cared how you felt or you in general then they'll listen to you. Point blank.
I'm sorry that that happened to your mother but that in no way is your fault never has been never will be the fact that they took that out on you makes them just as horrible as the person that hurt her in my opinion !! Op did absolutely nothing wrong ever sorry about their circumstances to be genuine but you don't take that out on your child, Or any child that's sick they are disgusting !! That would have been a deal breaker for me she has no right to do what she did I don't care what her reasonings were. I would have made them Stay in basement If I allow them in at all.
I was raped at gun point n thank God I didn't get pregnant but how could u ever blame the child it wasn't her fault n I know that changed the mom in so many ways I've never been the same since he destroyed me but after a few yrs I did have a child
3rd story. To really get into fitness you need to learn a lot about nutrition and the body. Whether you compete or are a trainer who has clients. Otherwise the best you can do is be a counter person at a gym. My son used to know a couple who were compete either body builders. I met her and her nutrition knowledge was mind boggling. My son, on the other hand, doesn’t know much. He has worked out a lot and was into the muscle magazines. Rather than learn about nutrition he used those ridiculous powders and crap. $$$$$$$$$ down the toilet. He talked about becoming a trainer but never even self studied using textbooks. Just those magazines. Which category is she? Sure, you do not need to go to a college but you need to earn certificates to be a licensed certified trainer.
Your best friend Mom gets no more news anymore, give them a chance make amends I don’t think so. Somethings you can’t forgive. I hope your best friend wasn’t in on this.
S2 ,. First up , op needs to take off the blind fold , in the first sentence,,"granny was critical of my man". Op your now married with 2 kids ,. And your mom is STILL critical of your man ,, every time your back is turned granny having a dig at your husband , and has been for a minimum 4 years , but he loved you enough to put up with her at arms length , , second did you both discuss you going back to work an your mom move in , or,, op, what I kinda suspect ,. Husband was told I've got a job I'm going back to work mom,s moving in thirds,, if your hubby messy , you loved him enough to marry him , an it was ok till your mom moved in , fourth , life is a compromise, and it appears from the story that hubby expected to compromise yet op,s mom certainly isn't, and op acting hard done by , when in reality , spontaneous adult fun in the kitchen when kids are napping will never happen again cos granny always there , fifth ,,, what did granny do with money from the sale of her home she lived in with grandad after he died ,, , on the other side of the coin , if hubby's mom had moved in op would be writing the exact same thing , except op would be fighting with mom in law n hubby's won't back her up instead of my hubby fights with my mom and I don't back him up
Talk to your fiancé and she does not understand what she did is wrong leave her I’m sorry she has such a bad background, but OP experience with parents was different.
Second story..., OP, YTA. IF you knew before you got married that your husband was messy, why is it an issue now? You never mention what salary he makes or how hard he works at his job. Can he afford for you to be a STAHM Mom? Your reasoning about work is as if you are planning a divorce from the beginning. And why does your mother who is living there (rent free?) Just on child care have an opinion at all. You need to tell her to back off! and quit criticizing your Husband. You fail to see how she is creating a division between you and your husband. So get a high paying job, lose time with your children, break up your family, go live with Mom and when you hit the wall in your 40's or 50's maybe you won't die alone.
Those are his kids too,he needs to be responsible. Why is it his kids when it’s convenient? They both made them,they didn’t just show up. If she won the lottery,he would be asking for half.
I think you’re projecting hun. Those are HIS kids. It’s his responsibility as much as it is hers. Sounds like HE wants to alienate her from her mom AND keep her from having a career. He’s not willing to compromise etc. a man working is always treated as the greatest thing since oxygen but he’s not willing to use his money toward his family. She needs to drop the dead weight because hubby wants a maid and a nanny, not a wife.
Story 1's OP should drop that abuse enabling fiancée. What a manipulative piece of work.
Poor OP in the first story. He's surrounded by people who are oblivious to monsters.
The road to Hell is paved with the best of intentions
AITA for asking my cousin for the wedding gift back after she said I wasn't welcome at the reception? th-cam.com/video/yBZrq9kganM/w-d-xo.html
Story 1: Maintain No Contact. Be aware of fiance who stepped over your boundaries/not supportive
of your feelings. Friends must be on your side and kept your info private/no more meddling!! It's YOUR
life !!!
Story 1: I never understand why a partner can't recognize that when enough is enough. While I get that the fiance grew up without parents, she can't force a relationship. OP's best friend's parents should have left the situation alone too.
Yep, her own fault that she later had to deal with that woman.
AITA for asking my cousin for the wedding gift back after she said I wasn't welcome at the reception? th-cam.com/video/yBZrq9kganM/w-d-xo.html
Fiancee
It’s because they think it’s an exaggeration because they are too stupid to just listen
Maybe a combo of clueless & socially inept? Also a bit foolish or stupid, t.b.h.
story 1; Id be asking for the ring back from that fiance untill she understood your limits. If she wants parents that badly, she could go with them.
💯 - Best answer.
The fiance weaving a big red flag with not respecting bounderies.
If he don't live her - she will stab him in the back on the next oportunity and it will be sooner as he think.
Fiancee is selfish and trying to live out a family life despite how it affects you. You may want to set boundaries she seems like the type to keep in contact with them, send them money, and invite them to the wedding all without telling OP.
For best friend mom deserves the harassment, she should have minded her buisness. She got what she wanted. 🤦🏿♀️
Very selfish
Fiancee
@@nannettepolcastro4799 thanks for the catch.
She needs to be put in her place and be told in NO unnecessary terms that she can deal w her own idiotic trauma, but overstep this boundary w his parents and she is moving out.
Setting aside the shit "parents' for a moment, I would've thrown out the fiancee on her sorry oblivious butt. When you tell your partner (or anyone, for that matter) you don't want people like that in your life they need to either respect that or gtfo.
I want to bitshh smack that woman. How clueless is she. OP was obviously furious at their appearance. From the way OP talked,he had told her about his parents treatment of him. Yet she eagerly invited them to stay. WTF. I really don't unsterstand why OP didn't kick his parents out the door immediately they first time that brain dead idiot invited them in. Why didn't OP put his foot down that very day. Tell that.......they are never allowed in his house again. No ifs,ands or buts. If she has any further contact with them,he will drop her. The engagement will be off. She will GTFO. As for the friends mom that gave his parents his address. He should cut her off. Move and don't give her the new address. Block her on everything. She actually betrayed OP worse than that thing he called his fiancé. This story beyond pissed me off,it's much to close to home for me. Merry Fuuuking Christmas Eve.
@@lindah3803 The moment they'd showed up on my doorstep and she let them in I would've said, "F***ing forget it. You couldn't convince me to let you two stay here if you offered me all the money in the universe. You have thirty seconds to get lost before I call the cops." Then I would've turned to HER and said, "And you. If I ever hear any more bs come out of your mouth involving my parents again, the wedding's off. Take it or leave it." Some people are delusional; this wasn't some guy who just got involved in a misunderstanding with his parents as a teen. They ABUSED him from day one; there's no coming back from that. I also wouldn't trust her to not go behind his back and actually invite them to the wedding after all that. OP needs to realize that you can't let ANYONE in your life if they try to make you play happy family with your abusers. I highly doubt she's even doing this for him; she just wants to have that complex of the superhero who reunited a broken family. Either that or she believes if she can get them all to kiss and make up, OP will get a hefty inheritance someday.
@@whitneybennett4857 Who knows what was going through her head. You make a good point about the wedding. It all depends on whether she has learned her lesson and is willing to accept how things are/will be.
@@lindah3803 nah Whitney nailed it. Fiancée wanted to fix her own issues via him and should have been put in her place
How can the parents make up for the neglect and emotional abuse for 18 years? They should have put OP up for adoption.
First story. First off, it is NOT the childs fault that they were the result of rape. But, if they didn't want that child, they should have put them up for adoption rather than keep the child and abuse it.
But if they gave OP up for adobtion they could not pretending to be great parents ...what would ppl say /s
Fiancé can live in her reality of loneliness.💀💀😂
Fiancee
Story 1 Why didn't OP's parents give him up for adoption if that was their attitude to him? They clearly hated and resented him! OP's fiancee was way, way out of line. She had no right to disrespect OP when he said he wanted nothing to do with his parents. All his parents wanted was OP's money.
Public image most likely.
@@JP-eh4ee "What will the neighbors say" is the best way to prevent making any drastic measure at least where I live.
This sounds like one of those creative writing class stories from a student who did poor research. No mention is ever made about DNA testing, so is Op really not his father's child? And then there is Plan (I forget what it was called back in the nineties). Then, since obviously the parents didn't see abortion as an option, there was adoption. That would have been easy enough to do ahead of time, and a private adoption agency could have helped with the back story for why the parents didn't ring the baby home from the hospital.
I believe that they kept him around for both appearances sake, and to have a punching bag to lash out at.
1st Story. You need to have a serious sit-down conversation with your fiancée. She went too far in dealing with your "parents".
Story 1 Finace' is trying to be single. Why do people always try to MAKE people reconcile when they don't want to be bothered
I hope you broke up with the fiance OP. She isn't listening to you and disrespecting your decision. BIG red flag
Fiancee
Ops fiancee and friends mum are as guilty in this forcing a reunion
Telling the truth is always wise. The people your mom lies to could someday ask to invest in your company if you ever start one. The fallout/scandal following the truth being revealed could ruin you.
I would suggest taking individual courses on business, accounting, nutrition, management, advertising etc... these will help you in your future business.
I’m glad someone said it because I was wondering why those people couldn’t see that a professional settings is not the place to exaggerate your child’s accomplishments especially if the parent is benefiting from the lies, image how many jobs or accounts she may have landed due to those lies or how many people were passed over for a job thinking she was honest and trustworthy. She may have also made professional promises based on her daughter’s education without telling the daughter, who knows what kind of damage she could do to the daughter’s reputation before she even has a chance to chose a career.
Story 2 Those are his kids too,he needs to be responsible. Why is it his kids when it’s convenient? They both made them,they didn’t just show up. If she won the lottery,he would be asking for half.
I love the answer from opinion #2 on the last story. Exactly!
That friend who gave out OP's address was later regretting it in the end when OP's parents went to their to complain. Sometimes you need to mind your f ing business instead of reuniting people with their toxic parents.
So why didn't the OP's parents terminate the rape pregnancy if they didn't want the baby?
They may have not known he was the product of the rape. Willing to bet the "mother" never got therapy after the rape and they only kept him because of how it would look to others if they had given him up for adoption. No matter their excuses they mistreated him and made his growing up years heck. Hopefully he gets counseling to over come the damage his "parents" did.
Probably religion.
OP grew up without parents too, he just still lived in the house with his. He would have been better off in foster care than in that house. His fiance needs to stop pinning her wishes for parents on him.
Story 2. Op needs to lose the husband
If they don’t want op they should had put op up for adoption and just move on with their lives and op owe them story1
What do you mean OP owes them? For being born?
OP owes them WHAT exactly?
@@dementedqueen4392 Of course OP owes them! After all, it was OP that let the guy who attacked his mother into the house, right? Probably split the money from the robbery with him, too!
What do you mean, OP wasn't even born yet?
AITA for asking my cousin for the wedding gift back after she said I wasn't welcome at the reception? th-cam.com/video/yBZrq9kganM/w-d-xo.html
@@rogerrabbit80 I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic but I'm confused...
1st story. The boundaries that were continually trampled, is reason enough to breakup with the fiance. When you say certain things are non-negotiable, that needs to be respected, and if your partner can't respect that, it's just better to be alone.
1. Why did they keep him, they should have given him up for adoption
I understand his fiancé, a little bit to a group in foster homes, but I also would respect my boyfriend’s boundaries.
Grateful to them I wish these people could hear themselves
S1: I had to stop because I got confused. First, it’s basement and school only, then it’s weekends at my besties place. Make it make sense.
Stay warm e everyone!
The fiancé was out of order. Wasn’t her business.
So the theory is.. let her lie on you without correction to save her face. However, if someone asks you how or college, you still have to lie to save her face? Don't lie and there will be no questions to answer. It's just a little lie is still a lie. SMH..
Lies uncontested is truth denied.
Child care.. tell hubby there are two options here.. either he pays 50% of child care costs NOW..... OR.,, you DIVORCE him, he STILL will pays 50% child care.. and lives ALONE!! Which'll it be???
That I was thinking too. If he lost his mariage over this he will soon "learn" to pay for child support. Honbestly your husband is being a jerk about this whole dinamic and you should put serious questions about the outcome.
OMG ! Give the baby up for adoption don't treat it like an animal and put it in the basement. Then expect him to support you.
Story 1: They should have put OP up for adoption.
Story 1: NTA he better hope she doesn't invite them to the wedding behind his back
Why didn't they give OP up for adoption??😟
AITA for asking my cousin for the wedding gift back after she said I wasn't welcome at the reception? th-cam.com/video/yBZrq9kganM/w-d-xo.html
because of image. they probably hid the shame of the rape and in public pretended that the child was theirs.
Let it out OP tell them everything that they did to you.
Butt hole of a dad story: As a father myself you should sit him down and simply tell him, 1 pay me childcare now or 2 pay me childcare later. Either way you will pay. I love and want to stay married to you but, you're putting too much blame on my mother. These are your children also. You are responsible for raising them as well so, what will it be now or later. Then walk away. Don't argue anymore with him. This way he'll know you're serious. Talk to an attorney in the mean time. Also take the commenter advise and look into an apt for you and your mom. It's still cheaper.
Story 3
You should not have gone if you're relationship is rocky and your mother has your life planned out pushing college not listening to you and talking up your schooling by lying you where right to be annoyed by your mother lying and she's lying for her ego you should get a qualification while following your passion I think your mother should stop lying but it was lying while you are standing there is wrong she should not be ashamed of you
OP you have my deepest condolence.
Your parents are blaming you for something that happened before you were even consived and continued to punish you for the rest of the time you lived with them, They don't deserve any of your time or money. They didn't even do what is the basic child care but chose to hide you like some sort of social perrin. They even tried to squash your desires and dreams. Keep them as far from you as possible,, Use the legal system if they refuse to accept your wishes.
I'd have looked at my husband and said the following; 'Did I make these kids on my own? Was this immaculate conception?
And just because your mom likes bieng a sahm, dosent mean I DO. Plus,I didn't do this alone, so man up, pay up, share the cost foe a nanny or live alone!'
Story 2 I would never allow anybody including my parents to downgrade my significant other Simply because they don't agree with them. Husband is not right either by any means. Why doesn't he stay home and take care of the kids ? Last story NTA your mother should be proud of you for being the daughter that you are and not have to make things up she's lying and lying is wrong Don't listen to Anyone that says you should just let her lie why for what reason so that she can act like she's not proud of her Real Daughter ? Mom is the only one who Jeopardized her Reputation at work or anywhere else by being a liar and making her daughter feel less than.
Story 2
Is your husband truly so awful or are you supporting your mother you had two children in three years so your marriage could not get worse your mother hates him and you are supporting your mother consider is your husband truly so bad is he just refusing to give money to your mother because she making him miserable
I kind of get the feeling that OP either made the decision and moved her mother in without his equal approval or really didn't want a happy successful marriage because why would you move in your mother who actively hates and torments your husband into the home you share with him. It seems like the reverse of most of the Reddit stories we get and that OP is actually a Mommy's girl who never takes her husbands side and actively fans the flames between the two. The husband's demand of OP being a stay at home mom or paying entirely for childcare is his last ditch desperate attempt to get his monster in law out of their home so he can escape her torment.
The husband hates the mother in law because she's right about him. By OP's own admission, he's messy, doesn't earn much (OP is the main breadwinner). If he doesn't want MIL then he should organise and split for the childcare, as OP suggested, but he declined.
That fiance and friend should be put in time out for trying to force op back into those evil buttholes. He's a lot more forgiving than I would be
This the worst abuse a parent could do. You can’t trust them and go non contact. The fiancé e should leave you alone on this.
Ugh! Cannot STAND ppl who try to butt n familial relationships. OPs parents r monsters. OP did NOT want them around. Everyone should respect that.
OMG !!! Why doesn't he just tell his fiancee to shut the hell up !!
All the stories they read on this channel are like this, I've heard like 5 so far, where the kid is abused, a family friend/relative helps them, they grow up successful, the friend/family member betrays them, tells the shitty parents where they are, tells them the parents are sorry, but the find out they're really after the money. It's getting really old.
I sympathize with OP in the first story one of my many foster homes had me live in the basement on a mattress on the floor with a cardboard box around me and they were religious good Christian people I had to sneak food. Sometimes I remember one time getting up to get food and one of them I got up and I was hiding underneath the table. Glad those days are over.
Please tell me you report them to the police
I think the fiancé is a huge red flag and he should break up with her. Not respecting his feelings and pushing his parents on him after knowing what they put him through is unconscionable. She should be on his side. I can see her inviting them to the wedding. So wrong.
Up his mother needs to shut up about college. It ain’t happening. OP has a talent they can use and that’s very useful to many people.
your mom made the decision for your dad
He doesnt like her mother because the mother actually sticks up for her daughter. Op needs to grow a spine. Divorce is only answer here.
Story #2, Child care, according to him, is your responsibility, fine... Pay for all the child care, and let him pay 100% EVERYTHING ELSE!!!
Not everyone needs to go to college. You can still learn, but you don’t have to go to college if you don’t want to, and most people get into debt because of school.
2nd Story. This is probably trite, but you need marriage and/or personal counseling.
She needs a divorce.
Never give anyone an address, especially for someone who doesn’t wanna see those people. OP parents were cruel to him. No there is going to be no getting back together with his parents and people need to stop meddling.
Why did they even have him then
S1: OP needs to find a better life partner, who can understand and know their boundaries. He shouldn't be surprised if his fiancée did anything out of the ordinary. Fiancée is a ticking time bomb for OP, though she may be good at heart, her kindness will eventually put OP in a more painful situation in the future. She disrespected him so many times, even after he told her to stay away from this.
Story 2: NTA. Stop joining the money. Does Husband still have a crappy job? OP did not mention how much Husband brings home, so I have no idea if Husband can support OP being a stay-at-home mother. In addition, what is the point of this marriage? If OP has to foot the bill for the children they BOTH created AND partially pay for Husband's expenses, cut the dead weight--Husband.
Story 1: Chile, why do people's partners do this asinine sh*t??? You are not smart or better or more knowledgeable about people you have never met. Someone who will trample over your boundaries is not a person you should have in your life. Fiancée inviting the "parents" inside the home and to STAY should be a deal breaker. I probably would have went overboard by breaking up in front of them and kicking all out of my home.
Both mother and father take care of the kids they’re married there a couple they’re not singles.
I think it’s time to think about divorcing him do you really love this man because this behavior is outrageous that he’s doing.
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File for divorce and say now enjoy being dirty alone and also enjoy the money .
Your going to pay for child care and support!
My mom won't give you a discount any more.
You can pack your bags and go .
I make more but the lawyer will clean you out for support and you can live in a dump and enjoy the dirty put your life brought you too!!!!!
3d Story. Mom needs to learn to keep her mouth shut. Mom embarrassed herself by not shutting up.
Yeah, it's not like OP and her bf could have just walked away or anything.
Probably not a popular opinion but if you can't bring yourself to love baby that resulted from rape better to give it up to someone who can or have abortion.
Fiance and friends mom were snakes. Don't let people who didn't suffer a day in your shoes tell you how to live or deal with those issues. Those morons can have big hearts but they're not the one suffering they just want to play match makers because it's fun to them and they're nosey on how it'll go when you already know. So if they cared how you felt or you in general then they'll listen to you. Point blank.
Find a new fiancee. And a new friend
I'm sorry that that happened to your mother but that in no way is your fault never has been never will be the fact that they took that out on you makes them just as horrible as the person that hurt her in my opinion !! Op did absolutely nothing wrong ever sorry about their circumstances to be genuine but you don't take that out on your child, Or any child that's sick they are disgusting !! That would have been a deal breaker for me she has no right to do what she did I don't care what her reasonings were. I would have made them Stay in basement If I allow them in at all.
I was raped at gun point n thank God I didn't get pregnant but how could u ever blame the child it wasn't her fault n I know that changed the mom in so many ways I've never been the same since he destroyed me but after a few yrs I did have a child
3rd story. To really get into fitness you need to learn a lot about nutrition and the body. Whether you compete or are a trainer who has clients. Otherwise the best you can do is be a counter person at a gym. My son used to know a couple who were compete either body builders. I met her and her nutrition knowledge was mind boggling. My son, on the other hand, doesn’t know much. He has worked out a lot and was into the muscle magazines. Rather than learn about nutrition he used those ridiculous powders and crap. $$$$$$$$$ down the toilet. He talked about becoming a trainer but never even self studied using textbooks. Just those magazines. Which category is she?
Sure, you do not need to go to a college but you need to earn certificates to be a licensed certified trainer.
In the basement
Does your fiancé care more about you or your parents pay off their mortgage and car loan?🤬
Your best friend Mom gets no more news anymore, give them a chance make amends I don’t think so. Somethings you can’t forgive. I hope your best friend wasn’t in on this.
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S2 ,. First up , op needs to take off the blind fold , in the first sentence,,"granny was critical of my man". Op your now married with 2 kids ,. And your mom is STILL critical of your man ,, every time your back is turned granny having a dig at your husband , and has been for a minimum 4 years , but he loved you enough to put up with her at arms length , , second did you both discuss you going back to work an your mom move in , or,, op, what I kinda suspect ,. Husband was told I've got a job I'm going back to work mom,s moving in thirds,, if your hubby messy , you loved him enough to marry him , an it was ok till your mom moved in , fourth , life is a compromise, and it appears from the story that hubby expected to compromise yet op,s mom certainly isn't, and op acting hard done by , when in reality , spontaneous adult fun in the kitchen when kids are napping will never happen again cos granny always there , fifth ,,, what did granny do with money from the sale of her home she lived in with grandad after he died ,, , on the other side of the coin , if hubby's mom had moved in op would be writing the exact same thing , except op would be fighting with mom in law n hubby's won't back her up instead of my hubby fights with my mom and I don't back him up
Talk to your fiancé and she does not understand what she did is wrong leave her I’m sorry she has such a bad background, but OP experience with parents was different.
Second story..., OP, YTA. IF you knew before you got married that your husband was messy, why is it an issue now? You never mention what salary he makes or how hard he works at his job. Can he afford for you to be a STAHM Mom? Your reasoning about work is as if you are planning a divorce from the beginning. And why does your mother who is living there (rent free?) Just on child care have an opinion at all. You need to tell her to back off! and quit criticizing your Husband. You fail to see how she is creating a division between you and your husband. So get a high paying job, lose time with your children, break up your family, go live with Mom and when you hit the wall in your 40's or 50's maybe you won't die alone.
Those are his kids too,he needs to be responsible. Why is it his kids when it’s convenient? They both made them,they didn’t just show up. If she won the lottery,he would be asking for half.
I think you’re projecting hun.
Those are HIS kids. It’s his responsibility as much as it is hers. Sounds like HE wants to alienate her from her mom AND keep her from having a career. He’s not willing to compromise etc.
a man working is always treated as the greatest thing since oxygen but he’s not willing to use his money toward his family.
She needs to drop the dead weight because hubby wants a maid and a nanny, not a wife.
Or he could be a stay at home dad, take care of the children and learn to tidy up a little.
U need to leave this man
Story 1 - Op future your foot down with your woman or kick her out too