Ikrrrrr. Like it's hard telling among girls because actually girls are naturally touchy, lovey-dovey with each other and we're here feeling something more.
@@itz_pluto4682 homosexual refers to both, but men and women have their own labels, either use the word homo or the correct label to specify the different gender, it's more respectable to them. Thank you for correcting my mistake. 💜
This is not 100% accurate all the time, but generally, there are telltale signs of a male vs female genetically born body. I would say big clues are hands and legs on Jihoo. Her legs and hands would tell me female. Just compare the two. Her legs and hips are spread-out (nothing to do with weight) when she sits on the chair and her hands are very delicate. Also the lack of protruding adam's apple. Dookyun's body is complete opposite.
@@phocian yeah well most people look at others faces because its the biggest indicator, and it also doesnt change the fact her face is quite masculine and handsome. this probably also doesnt apply bc i know guys who by their hands, lips, jawlines, and hips, you would think they would be a female. it also depends on peoples nationalities, different ethnicities have different hip to shoulder ratios and so on and so forth.
Hello, I'm Jihoo(jihu) from this video. In Korea, there are times when it is divided by appearance, but usually, butch and femme are divided according to sexual taste. What does it mean in other countries? In fact, it is difficult to define everyone in this dichotomous way. Lesbian and gay are just people who love people after all.
I think like some other commenters have mentioned, in the west (or at least in America, I won't presume to speak for other places) butch and femme seem to be more appearance descriptors rather than sexual taste, though there are stereotypical associations (like butch = top, etc). It was really interesting to hear what they refer to in Korea though! I really enjoyed this video, and totally agree with your last thought :D
In Indonesia most butch are top, but there are some who are bottoms,this can apply to femme too. As for my circumstances, both me and my girlfriend are femmes,but she's the top one. As far as I know, we rather distinguish who's top and bottom from the length of the nails instead of style/appearance only. If their nails are long, they're obviously a bottom.
So where I live (south of Brazil - it's a really big country), in my social circle, butch and femme are related to appearance, though there are the stereotypes of butch being top and femme bottom. But until now I don't think I've ever met a woman that's not versatile (?) Of course that some like giving more, or receiving more, but everyone I've known till today did both. I've had 2 girlfriends, I'm more on the femme side (appearance) and both of them were butch (appearance), but we're all versatile despite that.
In France, we use top/bottom and giver/receiver for gays and lesbians (and overall for everyone), but some people don't define their sexual preferences, they're just switch. Also we don't use the term "femme" because it litterally means "woman".
Here in the UK those descriptors are related to appearance. Either of them can top, that's entirely personal preference and isn't tied to appearance necessarily x
Unbelievably. I'm not someone who blushes watching strangers or even around people irl often, but she is so charming and has such a cool vibe to her that I find myself warm and blushing anytime she comes up!
Femme and butch are terms that have nothing to do with bed preferences. It’s only about the appearance of a person. A butch person looks more “masculine” where as a femme - from the French word which means woman - often has long hair and looks like the traditional image someone would have of femininity.
Nah, that's not quite true. Femme and butch are identities - it means more than bed preferences or looks. It's how you feel, how you act and present yourself. A lot of butches are tops (or service tops) and a lot of femmes are bottoms, that's true regarding Jihoos statement, but it's not a set dynamic like e.g. dom and sub. There's also butch/butch and femme/femme people out there. I think both Jihoo and Dookyun were a little biased in their explanation as she's a top and he's a switch so they can just give their own view, maybe it's a translation mistake that made it sound like they're talking representatively and not just about their own experience. There's obviously also lesbian couples who switch and gay people who have preferences to a degree that they say they're a top or bottom. Always consider as well that they're talking from a korean perspective and might therefore have a different definition of certain topics and words.
@@hannishoney7237 how are you gonna say it’s more than bed preferences then make a huge generality ? Please make it make it sense (And the terms mostly originate from apparences, sorry to break it to you).
I find human sexuality endlessly fascinating. The gradations, variations, fluidity are all wonderful. None of it bothers, it's all interesting to me so I don't get homophobia, transphobia, hate of any kind. I want everyone to be proud and happy about who they are! And sex is really a small part of the whole thing. It's about who you feel close to, who "gets" you, who you respect, love, and support. Every single one of us deserves love and respect!
I had this discussion with my friends and family. This is the first time I see someone articulated my thoughts better. I find it fascinating and I don’t tend to divide or anything, I just Love when people explore feelings and are certain about themselves
TH-cam you’re doing great keep going… With no joke this video can be very interesting for young lesbians and gay person who’s trying to build themselves. No drama, no complexity, only good conversation and information ❤️
as i’m a bi it was really interesting to listen, but in my opinion there’s something incorrect about top or bottom positions in sex. or rather their appearance. i don’t know if it’s very obvious and so easy to recognise who is give or take in korea, but when some curious people ask me and my partner about our positions they literally think that my girlfriend is top. we both are feminine, but my features look like more gently(?). and then they’re realize that they were wrong, because in our sexual life i’m 100% top. what I'm getting at is that no one needs to judge who takes an active or passive role in a relationships that don’t involve you. it’s just a sex, which doesn’t intersect with people’s appearance
Yes, these days, because of so many BL novels, people think they are "entitled" to ask whether a homosexual person is "top" or "bottom". It's fucking ridiculous. Yeah, and like you said, they always assume that a gentle looking one is hundred percent bottom. Face, dress up and bed preferences have nothing to do with each other. I hope people just stop asking these type of questions.
True. I look like a rockgirl who seems tough. I'm 5'7 and people assumed that I was the top due to my appearance and height. Until they found that it turned out that my short and shy girlfriend who seems somewhat meek on outside, was the top all along. They got so confused 😂
@@mnopqrst some heteros do that without being in contact with the BL genre. The good old "who is the man and who the woman in the relationship" question is older than BLs. (not saying that the BL fandom doesn't have some entitled idiots as well, but it exists outside of it as well)
Did you all forget this is Koeran right? Just becuase those terms only mean appearance where you live, does not mean it is like that every where around the whole world. Not every queer community is exactly the same. They are going to be different. To expect them to be the same is fucking stupid. But hey, go off about how you know more about queer culture in Korea than queer Koreans know. Jihoo even made a comment saying that butch and femme do indeed play a role in ones sexual role, said that it doesn't apply to everyone though, and then asked what those terms mean in other countries. You lot should be fucking ashamed of yourselves acting like you know OH so much about a comminuty in another fucking country and having to feel the need to "correct" someone from said country who is apart of that community. The world does not revolve around your little world.
As a vers, bi, male that prefers men I can say something about this. Being with a vers isn't always so simple as some days I want to top or bottom despite the role that my partner is. I've dominated a top a few times and learned that it not only comes down to communication but also the mood. Especially during first times, the truth of the matter is that the body will decide what you want. There are a few telling signs of what the body is ready for and when that happens it's good to explore that carnal desire. Although when it comes to love both parties must understand that it's a give and take. If you love the person then you should open your mind to the possibility of switching your role every once in a while. You may not have liked it with someone else but you may not mind it with your current lover. So keep your mind open, listen to your body, and let your heart experience something new and erase the old. You may be a top/bottom for others but vers for your lover, so don't be closed-minded and give up your chance to experience something new that may even bring you closer to your lover and increase intimacy.
Also, as a man in USA, it can be super challenging to tell the difference between straight, bi, and gay unless they're flaming, in-your-face gay. Then again, I've heard that even some straight men dress in drag. There's this annoying thing called a metrosexual which is pretty much a gay-acting straight man. His mannerisms, voice, and style may scream gay but he's straighter than an arrow and gets pissed at being called gay. Then again, I don't have a good gaydar, most of my male friends are straight, and a third of my exes were straight before we slept together. So, I'm either a good example of a vers with horrible gaydar or my gaydar was broken because of all the straight guys that I've been their first gay experience for. Sorry that I tend to run on but I have lots of experiences and a fast-moving brain. Either way, I hope that y'all enjoyed my input and point of view. Have a wonderful day.
@@jakonly4446 because bisexuality is a spectrum? you can like men more than women and date them more often but like women. i prefer men but i am also attracted to women and date them too.
@@jakonly4446 just because youre bi doesnt mean its an absolute 50/50, even if you 90% like men and 10% preference for women, just the fact you have a preference for both means youre bi
Ig sk's lesbian and gay culture is wildly different from the west bc here wlw use top and bottom and a femme is not necessarily a bottom and masc presenting/butch are not always top... most couples in long term relationships will usually be vers regardless of how they present
Yea so it's kinda like what the gay dude described, most have a preference but at the end of the day people are generally versatile. Life really isn't just black and white after all, there will always be those grey bits. Of course, nothing wrong with matching your ideal ig.
@@reharm_reality I think in lesbian slang up to the 90s butch did mean top in the West too, like I think of Leslie Feinberg's novel Stone Butch Blues (A stone butch was a lesbian top who doesn't let themselves be touched sexually). Gender roles of those types have gone out of fashion a lot in Western queer communities in the past 20 or so years.
@@happyfan7984 Seke has always been a thing it isn’t “just starting” what a stupid statement. Uke-seme will never be “buried” as long as gay couples with top-bottom dynamics exist.
@@kerryholland4822 no it's not. You can't 'go' lesbian. It makes beeing lesbian kinda invalid as if it was a choice beeing a lesbian (which is not a choice). 🙂
OMG ...her confidence is on another level 🔥🔥🔥🔥...when she says " I'm confident that I'll win "..... Im not bi but after knowing her confidence literally gives me Butterflies 🦋🦋🦋
One of my favorite couple channels I follow on here are a top/top couple. They've been together for a few years now. I feel like you can make it work somehow for someone you really love. I do know it takes a lot of communication, but it is possible. Edit: Totally forgot to add the channel name! They're the ALLBBANG couple here on TH-cam. They've talked about it in livestreams before. I love them. ☺
but then again you can’t really say that they are really a “top/top” couple because at the end of the day one or both of them bottoms so they would be versatile.😊
I'm a straight woman but also parent to a bi teenager. This has helped me understand a little more about them and their preferences and choices. Thank you!
Man, when that girl said she was confident that she'd end up on top, my heart fluttered. All I need is someone to actually come on to me and I'll swing whichever way they'd prefer. (Obviously if I found them attractive that is)
I looooveed this video!!! It’s so wonderful to see such an open and interesting topic being talked about on these popular channels! And I may have fallen in love with Jihoo just a little bit! She’s totally my style hehehe 😍🏳️🌈
@denii7094 same here. I need to educate myself 🙈I mean, I understand the concepts, the roles, but, I honestly thought they must switch at some point during the sexual intercourse... I mean, both need to reach climax, right? If you only give and you do not receive, how does that happen?
I might have fallen in love with Jihoo, oh dear Lord If she was next to me I'd 100% become a teenage girl that's all flustered when someone as beautiful as her is close
My straight ass is falling for this lesbian girl. She is so handsome. I thought both are man until i listen her voice. Even she is more manly than the man sitting next to her. ❤️❤️My crush
Love is Love. It doesnt matter if they are butch or femme, top or bottom. When two people fall in love they will work it out within their own self and how it feels comfortable. Anyone who finds a life partner and gets to feel that special love and devotion. So happy for you.
Fr like the style isn't always the case for being top and bottom, also she's talking like fem4fem and masc4masc don't exist 😭(no hate for her tho I actually love her)
For those talking and commenting about them using femme and butch to describe sexual positions; please be understanding that the actual KOREAN LANGUAGE doesn't have any integrated/created new words to describe people of minorities like the LGBT+. For now they stick to using western and English words which can at times get lost in translation but the communities there learn to adapt. It also depends on the country and the culture how words can be differently defined. Korea is still a conservative country but we're starting to see movement. Please be kind and understanding :)
adapt ??? why should we as LGBTQ koreans....have to adapt to the west????? we are doing fine with or terms....it seems people who are not korean in the comments getting upset about how LGBTQ people in korea identify and live their lives.....it feels a little .....hmmm COLONIAL? Not you OP the people you are trying to target/reach.
@@Cantonesecubanalee idk people just reaching 24/7. Like they use the vocabulary they have. Give them time. I don't get the outrage in the comments about them using femme and butch to assign top or bottom basically. Different countries, different terms and different cultures.
this was interesting to watch. in my opinion is when you really like someone you'll find a common ground and work it out. rather than calling someone strict top or bottom i think pleasure roles have fluidity just like sexuality, they can change. You can bend. there's a 70% chance, always.
Some people are strictly top and bottom though and don't want to deviate from that and that should completely be ok. No one should have to feel like they need to give something up to be more "open-minded".
@@Solararisa Yeah, i feel very uncomfortable if I try to change the position I like, I just can't keep going and I feel awkward, it's just not pleasurable for me at all
Omg there should be a warning for hetero girls in all videos with Jihoo that it's dangerous to watch cuz you may become "bi" xD Such a great charisma! Falling for her instantly. 🥰 Dookyun is so nice too! ❤️ Where do you find all these sweet, adorable, sunshine-like people? I'm always smiling when watching.
You'll learn as you grow up! There's no right and wrong in being a "lesbian" or "gay". Just find your own "right". The very absolute "top" and "bottom" thing is very derogatory. I hope you understand this much. Whatever you do on your bed with your partner isn't something you should use as your label.
actually the butch and femme are just terms related to appearance only and not for sexual position preference, with butch in masculine sense and femme in feminine sense. i think those terms being related to sexual position might be highly caused by internalised homophobia and heteronormativity where people tend to view a "normal" pair of lover with one being masc/the man/the top and the other one being the fem/the girl/the bottom. and i think it's the time for us to change this stigma
I guess Jihoo is talking about the dating experience in Korea for lesbians but it’s not like that everywhere. I’ve seen butch x butch and femme x femme. Also lesbian sex is versatile and fluid too for a lot of people. I think it depends on how comfortable people are. I think maybe if I was younger I would only be okay with receiving but now that I’m older I think it depends on the situation or the day. I would prefer to be with someone who is also comfortable with different things.
It is interesting how this is not discussed for heterosexual couples. As a women I have always struggled with taking the "submissive" or "being made love to" role. I am a "top heterosexual female" if such a think exists. I like to set the pace, be the active partner, I am the sort to kiss with my eyes open so I can see my partners reaction, and I like to have a certain level of aggression in leading. I don't really like to be pursued, or cornered and it takes a long time of sexual trust and confidence to let myself be "made love to". I think even in straight relationships the dynamic of desire can be quite varied and conflicting and it is precisely incompatibilities of this sort that can kill a relationship. A too domineering male can be a real of putter for me, it becomes competitive rather than generous. So I don't think these issues are limited to the gay community and most certainly in my experience you cannot tell a persons sexual preferences and behaviours in bed from their appeareance in the majority of cases so there is a lot of give and take adjustment if you like them to get to know what will work for both parties. Trust and affection are a huge part of that equation.
They are both very charismatic and cool, I learned a lot today on this topic. I hope I can see them both again in other videos, they have good chemistry together and it was nice discussion.
Both of are them are so cute that i don't even want to read the subtitles to understand what they're speaking. I can't stop looking at their pretty faces 😍😍😍😍
At first glance I thought both of them are men till she said she is a lisbian, I paused and went back to find out if I heard correctly, I am surprised she looks so much like a man. 💜
They both are so kind and honest..... I can feel it thought my phone screen that no matter who you're you'll never get uncomfortable by them...... My heart can feel a connection with both of them........ Keep smiling and making hand gestures I really like it☺🤗🥰
Anyway I'm so surprised that so many people can't recognize Jihoo in first glance that she is a female LOL Maybe I'm growing in urban areas in Malaysia and also a high Chinese descendants populated area person, so I have seeing tonnes of people from various types of appearance from super long hair men to super short shaved undercut chic cool ladies since I was in my primary school, and I watched tonnes of Hong Kong TVB Cantonese language dramas plus Taiwanese idol dramas and also some China dramas and also Japanese dramas, not to forget about Mando-pop industry singer and variety shows celebrity hosts. Still remember iconic chic short hairstyle of Tavia Yeung in the Hong Kong TVB drama ' The Hippocratic Crush ', Gui Lun-Mei (Taiwanese actress), Faye Wong (China-Hong Kong singer), Hai Qing (China actress), Sun Li (China actress), Amber Kuo (Taiwanese singer and actress), Pauline Lan (Taiwanese celebrity host), and so much more, even American beauty makeup TH-camr like Alexandra Anele has really masculine feature but so much chic and cool badass vibe, she looks stunning always =O Y'all could possible see there are so much gorgeous ladies in super cropped hairstyles that I wish to try out one day (of course, after the pandemic please), even hairdresser celebrities like Kenneth Siu (Hong Konger hairdresser based in Australia), Sanja Carica Karasman (Croatian hairstylist based in Slovenia), Rene from the Women's barbershop HFDZK (based in Netherland), Maksim Nikitochkin (based in Ukraine). They all deliver stunning cropped short hairstyles for female customers!
interesting to see how differently the terms are used. From my life experience the terms butch and femme have typically only been used to describe one's style/appearance and don't necessarily correlate to being a top/bottom. Seems a bit rigid to assume that butches are tops and vice versa no?
the idea of femme equals bottom and masculine being top is rooted from the heteropatriarchial mentality. Bed positions are not strictly related to your gender identity and presentation
As a gay person whose love language is physical intimacy, sexual compatibility is number one for me. This might elicit a tongue-in-cheek reaction, but I will NEVER EVER EVER top! Not today, not in a million years.
I'm still looking for my femme top but my gaydar is shit. I don't know who is gay and I look straight af too... the struggle is real. I feel like it's a lot easier for tomboy girls like Jihoo to attract girls, cuz lesbians would know that you're gay and talk to you if they're interested. So it wouldn't matter if your gaydar works or not, because girls can guess purely on appearance and approach you if she's interested. But when you have long hair, and is a fem bottom who is attracted to a fem top, I don't even know where am I supposed to find a girl who is gay and is my type. When I do crush on someone, it's always one sided cuz they're straight... life as a femme bottom who is attracted to femme top sure is difficult. If you have any tips, please let me know.
a lot of y'all in the comments really should look into wlw history. butches and femmes were the pioneers for us. it makes sense that in a country where queer culture's starting to become more prominent that these identities are what's first to emerge. it's reflective of a heteronormative society, yes, but to simply reduce these terms as "problematic" is incredibly dismissive to the older queer community and everything they did for us.
@moving8496 i do! i highly, HIGHLY recommend every queer person (everyone in general ofc, but queer people especially) read stone butch blues. it's a novel by leslie feinberg based closely on her own life. the book deals with very serious issues, so do a bit of research before reading if there are topics you are sensitive to, but it is a must-read regardless.
As for me, I'm in confusion right now, don't know if I'm homo, lesbian or bi. Don't like putting out labels though. I'm in confusion right now and don't want to go deep into it. I decided to share this here, at least I wouldn't be judged here.
![[HisMan2] Roommate to Lover...Jun Seong💘Seong Ho Love Story](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/hkHiZ-04_LM/mqdefault.jpg)
As a bi female it's honestly so difficult to know if another girl is straight lesbian Or bi
Ikrrrrr. Like it's hard telling among girls because actually girls are naturally touchy, lovey-dovey with each other and we're here feeling something more.
@@hanmingting ikrr!! and most women who are flirty and touchy af turn out to be straight so its so confusing 💀
Don't mind but women are not gay. They are either hetero, lesbian or bi. 💜
@@Andy-dv1ig gay is a common term used to refer homosexuality in slang but i get ur point, also pls get the spellings right lol
@@itz_pluto4682 homosexual refers to both, but men and women have their own labels, either use the word homo or the correct label to specify the different gender, it's more respectable to them. Thank you for correcting my mistake. 💜
I had no idea Jihoo was a girl at first hahaha, i was so surprised when i saw the comments. She's extremely handsome and well built.
same haha
This is not 100% accurate all the time, but generally, there are telltale signs of a male vs female genetically born body. I would say big clues are hands and legs on Jihoo. Her legs and hands would tell me female. Just compare the two. Her legs and hips are spread-out (nothing to do with weight) when she sits on the chair and her hands are very delicate. Also the lack of protruding adam's apple. Dookyun's body is complete opposite.
@@phocian yeah well most people look at others faces because its the biggest indicator, and it also doesnt change the fact her face is quite masculine and handsome. this probably also doesnt apply bc i know guys who by their hands, lips, jawlines, and hips, you would think they would be a female. it also depends on peoples nationalities, different ethnicities have different hip to shoulder ratios and so on and so forth.
same
They ant no little girl that a woman 😏
Hello, I'm Jihoo(jihu) from this video. In Korea, there are times when it is divided by appearance, but usually, butch and femme are divided according to sexual taste. What does it mean in other countries?
In fact, it is difficult to define everyone in this dichotomous way. Lesbian and gay are just people who love people after all.
I think like some other commenters have mentioned, in the west (or at least in America, I won't presume to speak for other places) butch and femme seem to be more appearance descriptors rather than sexual taste, though there are stereotypical associations (like butch = top, etc). It was really interesting to hear what they refer to in Korea though! I really enjoyed this video, and totally agree with your last thought :D
In Indonesia most butch are top, but there are some who are bottoms,this can apply to femme too. As for my circumstances, both me and my girlfriend are femmes,but she's the top one. As far as I know, we rather distinguish who's top and bottom from the length of the nails instead of style/appearance only. If their nails are long, they're obviously a bottom.
So where I live (south of Brazil - it's a really big country), in my social circle, butch and femme are related to appearance, though there are the stereotypes of butch being top and femme bottom. But until now I don't think I've ever met a woman that's not versatile (?) Of course that some like giving more, or receiving more, but everyone I've known till today did both. I've had 2 girlfriends, I'm more on the femme side (appearance) and both of them were butch (appearance), but we're all versatile despite that.
In France, we use top/bottom and giver/receiver for gays and lesbians (and overall for everyone), but some people don't define their sexual preferences, they're just switch. Also we don't use the term "femme" because it litterally means "woman".
Here in the UK those descriptors are related to appearance. Either of them can top, that's entirely personal preference and isn't tied to appearance necessarily x
She is so handsome
RIGHT?!
So true
fr
Yessss
She?
I think Jihoo made all our hearts flutter 😳😳😳
Unbelievably. I'm not someone who blushes watching strangers or even around people irl often, but she is so charming and has such a cool vibe to her that I find myself warm and blushing anytime she comes up!
Femme and butch are terms that have nothing to do with bed preferences. It’s only about the appearance of a person.
A butch person looks more “masculine” where as a femme - from the French word which means woman - often has long hair and looks like the traditional image someone would have of femininity.
Nah, that's not quite true. Femme and butch are identities - it means more than bed preferences or looks. It's how you feel, how you act and present yourself. A lot of butches are tops (or service tops) and a lot of femmes are bottoms, that's true regarding Jihoos statement, but it's not a set dynamic like e.g. dom and sub. There's also butch/butch and femme/femme people out there. I think both Jihoo and Dookyun were a little biased in their explanation as she's a top and he's a switch so they can just give their own view, maybe it's a translation mistake that made it sound like they're talking representatively and not just about their own experience. There's obviously also lesbian couples who switch and gay people who have preferences to a degree that they say they're a top or bottom. Always consider as well that they're talking from a korean perspective and might therefore have a different definition of certain topics and words.
I was gonna say something but you beat me too it. It’s a little stereotypical
that does not fit everywhere! in some regions of the world it does equate to sexual bed pref. not everyone is from the west with their thinking.
@@Cantonesecubanalee just because it’s the stereotype it doesn’t mean it’s accurate to everyone even it that region.
@@hannishoney7237 how are you gonna say it’s more than bed preferences then make a huge generality ? Please make it make it sense
(And the terms mostly originate from apparences, sorry to break it to you).
I find human sexuality endlessly fascinating. The gradations, variations, fluidity are all wonderful. None of it bothers, it's all interesting to me so I don't get homophobia, transphobia, hate of any kind. I want everyone to be proud and happy about who they are!
And sex is really a small part of the whole thing. It's about who you feel close to, who "gets" you, who you respect, love, and support. Every single one of us deserves love and respect!
Perfect response!
Finally find someone with same thought.... I never had any kind of hate like feelings towards any of this regardless of anything
I had this discussion with my friends and family. This is the first time I see someone articulated my thoughts better. I find it fascinating and I don’t tend to divide or anything, I just Love when people explore feelings and are certain about themselves
Yeah. I’d let her do anything to me 💀💀 she definitely would win.
TH-cam you’re doing great keep going…
With no joke this video can be very interesting for young lesbians and gay person who’s trying to build themselves.
No drama, no complexity, only good conversation and information ❤️
ikr!
I second you!!!
💖💖🏳️🌈🏳️🌈
When she turned and said I'm confident that I'll win.... I fell in love!
Dookyun is so relatable when he said "Oh, he looks like a top...I want to be a bottom today." 😂
Ok that’s was funny 😂
That’s because he’s only a top only 1% of the time.
as i’m a bi it was really interesting to listen, but in my opinion there’s something incorrect about top or bottom positions in sex. or rather their appearance. i don’t know if it’s very obvious and so easy to recognise who is give or take in korea, but when some curious people ask me and my partner about our positions they literally think that my girlfriend is top. we both are feminine, but my features look like more gently(?). and then they’re realize that they were wrong, because in our sexual life i’m 100% top. what I'm getting at is that no one needs to judge who takes an active or passive role in a relationships that don’t involve you. it’s just a sex, which doesn’t intersect with people’s appearance
Yes, these days, because of so many BL novels, people think they are "entitled" to ask whether a homosexual person is "top" or "bottom". It's fucking ridiculous. Yeah, and like you said, they always assume that a gentle looking one is hundred percent bottom. Face, dress up and bed preferences have nothing to do with each other. I hope people just stop asking these type of questions.
True. I look like a rockgirl who seems tough. I'm 5'7 and people assumed that I was the top due to my appearance and height. Until they found that it turned out that my short and shy girlfriend who seems somewhat meek on outside, was the top all along. They got so confused 😂
@@mnopqrst some heteros do that without being in contact with the BL genre. The good old "who is the man and who the woman in the relationship" question is older than BLs. (not saying that the BL fandom doesn't have some entitled idiots as well, but it exists outside of it as well)
@@HangryKitsune I know it does. It's just that youngsters learn from BLs a lot these days, so much that I have been really shocked these days.
Did you all forget this is Koeran right? Just becuase those terms only mean appearance where you live, does not mean it is like that every where around the whole world. Not every queer community is exactly the same. They are going to be different. To expect them to be the same is fucking stupid. But hey, go off about how you know more about queer culture in Korea than queer Koreans know. Jihoo even made a comment saying that butch and femme do indeed play a role in ones sexual role, said that it doesn't apply to everyone though, and then asked what those terms mean in other countries. You lot should be fucking ashamed of yourselves acting like you know OH so much about a comminuty in another fucking country and having to feel the need to "correct" someone from said country who is apart of that community. The world does not revolve around your little world.
The crush he had on her when he thought she was a guy was so evident throughout the video 🤣 cute.
This video was so informative and interesting!
They both explained themself really well!
Thank you SHINE TEEN for this kind of videos!~
As a vers, bi, male that prefers men I can say something about this. Being with a vers isn't always so simple as some days I want to top or bottom despite the role that my partner is. I've dominated a top a few times and learned that it not only comes down to communication but also the mood. Especially during first times, the truth of the matter is that the body will decide what you want. There are a few telling signs of what the body is ready for and when that happens it's good to explore that carnal desire.
Although when it comes to love both parties must understand that it's a give and take. If you love the person then you should open your mind to the possibility of switching your role every once in a while. You may not have liked it with someone else but you may not mind it with your current lover. So keep your mind open, listen to your body, and let your heart experience something new and erase the old. You may be a top/bottom for others but vers for your lover, so don't be closed-minded and give up your chance to experience something new that may even bring you closer to your lover and increase intimacy.
Also, as a man in USA, it can be super challenging to tell the difference between straight, bi, and gay unless they're flaming, in-your-face gay. Then again, I've heard that even some straight men dress in drag. There's this annoying thing called a metrosexual which is pretty much a gay-acting straight man. His mannerisms, voice, and style may scream gay but he's straighter than an arrow and gets pissed at being called gay. Then again, I don't have a good gaydar, most of my male friends are straight, and a third of my exes were straight before we slept together. So, I'm either a good example of a vers with horrible gaydar or my gaydar was broken because of all the straight guys that I've been their first gay experience for.
Sorry that I tend to run on but I have lots of experiences and a fast-moving brain. Either way, I hope that y'all enjoyed my input and point of view. Have a wonderful day.
Why bi? Just say ur gay lol
That's a great advise! Thank you for sharing. I hope more people read it)
@@jakonly4446 because bisexuality is a spectrum? you can like men more than women and date them more often but like women. i prefer men but i am also attracted to women and date them too.
@@jakonly4446 just because youre bi doesnt mean its an absolute 50/50, even if you 90% like men and 10% preference for women, just the fact you have a preference for both means youre bi
Ahhhh she’s so attractive 🥺 She definitely made my heart flutter when she said she was confident she would win 🤣
Ig sk's lesbian and gay culture is wildly different from the west bc here wlw use top and bottom and a femme is not necessarily a bottom and masc presenting/butch are not always top... most couples in long term relationships will usually be vers regardless of how they present
Yeah I was really surprised when they said butch is the same as top and femme is the same as bottom...
Yea so it's kinda like what the gay dude described, most have a preference but at the end of the day people are generally versatile. Life really isn't just black and white after all, there will always be those grey bits. Of course, nothing wrong with matching your ideal ig.
I was thinking the exact same thing with how Jihoo explained them and how they are over here aha
Learnt something new today lol
@@reharm_reality I think in lesbian slang up to the 90s butch did mean top in the West too, like I think of Leslie Feinberg's novel Stone Butch Blues (A stone butch was a lesbian top who doesn't let themselves be touched sexually). Gender roles of those types have gone out of fashion a lot in Western queer communities in the past 20 or so years.
@@ifeeltiredsleepy Yeah I was just surprised because those ideas have been separate for a while
All the BL fujoshis need to watch this video. They all think every gay couple is just seme/uke (top/bottom), when in reality that's far from the case.
I thought everyone knew about “seke”
BL has sekes so?
@@mochihamster2794 Nope.
@@karlaruiz8685 They're just starting. That seme/uke trope needs to be buried for good.
@@happyfan7984 Seke has always been a thing it isn’t “just starting” what a stupid statement. Uke-seme will never be “buried” as long as gay couples with top-bottom dynamics exist.
I love her charisma!!!!! Thank you for the video Shine Teen! Keep going!
Love how open and honest they are, heartwarming
I like this kind of topic and the flow of their convo is spontaneous and informative at the same time
me being a bisexual switch: interesting information
It was nice to see people being so honest about their sexuality!! Great job.
Dookyun has such an outgoing personality!! But so respectful at the same time! They fit so well as friends!!
So a top(les) and verse(gay guy)
Nice to see us girls represent the diversity in ourselves! Yo go girl!
I can seriously go lesbian for her.
Like 100% seriously
same, girl, same
just compliment instead of saying that
Become bi, life is great 👍
@@flowersgurl403 it is a compliment.
@@kerryholland4822 no it's not. You can't 'go' lesbian. It makes beeing lesbian kinda invalid as if it was a choice beeing a lesbian (which is not a choice). 🙂
OMG ...her confidence is on another level 🔥🔥🔥🔥...when she says " I'm confident that I'll win "..... Im not bi but after knowing her confidence literally gives me Butterflies 🦋🦋🦋
One of my favorite couple channels I follow on here are a top/top couple. They've been together for a few years now. I feel like you can make it work somehow for someone you really love. I do know it takes a lot of communication, but it is possible.
Edit: Totally forgot to add the channel name! They're the ALLBBANG couple here on TH-cam. They've talked about it in livestreams before. I love them. ☺
Channel name pls
channel name aaaa
Channel
What’s the channel
but then again you can’t really say that they are really a “top/top” couple because at the end of the day one or both of them bottoms so they would be versatile.😊
I'm a straight woman but also parent to a bi teenager. This has helped me understand a little more about them and their preferences and choices. Thank you!
Man, when that girl said she was confident that she'd end up on top, my heart fluttered. All I need is someone to actually come on to me and I'll swing whichever way they'd prefer. (Obviously if I found them attractive that is)
I looooveed this video!!! It’s so wonderful to see such an open and interesting topic being talked about on these popular channels! And I may have fallen in love with Jihoo just a little bit! She’s totally my style hehehe 😍🏳️🌈
This made me feel emotional and feel the vibe of love
She has so much charm idk I too would stop thinking with her presence
The guy seems so chill and nice to be around!!
I wouldn’t know she’s a girl until I’d hear her voice 😂 she’s very handsome.
i loved this, they are both so funny!😂😂 hahahha and i learnt a lot too!! i didn't know girls also had top + bottom "roles" 🤯
Fr?
Beo td
@denii7094 same here. I need to educate myself 🙈I mean, I understand the concepts, the roles, but, I honestly thought they must switch at some point during the sexual intercourse... I mean, both need to reach climax, right? If you only give and you do not receive, how does that happen?
They're both such a delight! brb, gonna watch every video they're in
I might have fallen in love with Jihoo, oh dear Lord
If she was next to me I'd 100% become a teenage girl that's all flustered when someone as beautiful as her is close
jihoo would give me gay panic if i make eye contact with her 😂
i giggled outrageously
She's so handsome... literally so much..🤧
Jihoo has me blushing like crazy 🤭🤭🤭🤭😍
She look like actor park bogum 😂
OMG SHE DOESSS
My straight ass is falling for this lesbian girl. She is so handsome. I thought both are man until i listen her voice. Even she is more manly than the man sitting next to her.
❤️❤️My crush
If she didn't speak.. I would definitely thought she's a boy...😭😭😭
Why so handsome 💕
Okay so we all just collectively fell in love with Jihu right? Yeah absolutely
Love is Love. It doesnt matter if they are butch or femme, top or bottom. When two people fall in love they will work it out within their own self and how it feels comfortable. Anyone who finds a life partner and gets to feel that special love and devotion. So happy for you.
Justice for femme tops!!!
Fr like the style isn't always the case for being top and bottom, also she's talking like fem4fem and masc4masc don't exist 😭(no hate for her tho I actually love her)
yes plz 💀
Hear hear!!!!
I want more love. Then, justice ha ha.
Femme x femme is the best
From personal experience, you can never know about a person's sex life/sexuality just by looking at them.
For those talking and commenting about them using femme and butch to describe sexual positions; please be understanding that the actual KOREAN LANGUAGE doesn't have any integrated/created new words to describe people of minorities like the LGBT+. For now they stick to using western and English words which can at times get lost in translation but the communities there learn to adapt. It also depends on the country and the culture how words can be differently defined. Korea is still a conservative country but we're starting to see movement. Please be kind and understanding :)
adapt ??? why should we as LGBTQ koreans....have to adapt to the west????? we are doing fine with or terms....it seems people who are not korean in the comments getting upset about how LGBTQ people in korea identify and live their lives.....it feels a little .....hmmm COLONIAL? Not you OP the people you are trying to target/reach.
@@Cantonesecubanalee idk people just reaching 24/7. Like they use the vocabulary they have. Give them time. I don't get the outrage in the comments about them using femme and butch to assign top or bottom basically. Different countries, different terms and different cultures.
this was interesting to watch. in my opinion is when you really like someone you'll find a common ground and work it out. rather than calling someone strict top or bottom i think pleasure roles have fluidity just like sexuality, they can change. You can bend. there's a 70% chance, always.
Some people are strictly top and bottom though and don't want to deviate from that and that should completely be ok. No one should have to feel like they need to give something up to be more "open-minded".
@@Solararisa Yeah, i feel very uncomfortable if I try to change the position I like, I just can't keep going and I feel awkward, it's just not pleasurable for me at all
I agree with him, she's very handsome 😂
*"I BE TOP!"*
*"NO, ITS ME!"*
*fights in a gay way.*
Jihoo looks so handsome and cool I love her💜💜 and Dookyun looks amazing 🥰
I LITERALLY GASP WHEN I SAW THIS ON MY FEED.
I love the term "Give and take" lol
The way I laughed when I saw this 💀
MC WGAT ARE YOU DOING HERE😟
Omg there should be a warning for hetero girls in all videos with Jihoo that it's dangerous to watch cuz you may become "bi" xD Such a great charisma! Falling for her instantly. 🥰
Dookyun is so nice too! ❤️ Where do you find all these sweet, adorable, sunshine-like people? I'm always smiling when watching.
you don't just "become" bi what do you mean 💀
i'm sorry but the fist part technically makes no sense 😅
girl what.
u can't become bi I'm cryjfbfbbt
I know it doesn't work like this, but don't take every word literally, please. It's just a way to make a compliment. Why so serious?)))
Dookyun's English is so good
Don't mind the boring comments, it's very important that Korea gives more space and discusses LGBT issues. Thanks!
Omggg hahhah I *smiled* a lot while watching this Q&A🤣 I’ve learned a lot lol it was so fun❤️ *they r both handsome* 😩🫶🏻
Omg Jihoo is so handsome cool and mature I'd date her in a heart beat like she's is so soso cool I'd feel like she'd sweep me off my feet easily
It's so nice to see korea finally opening up more about LGBTQ things ^^ also that conquer part was hot..
여자분인데 잘생겼다~~ 썸네일 보고 남자분인줄 알았음....와~~존잘 하면서 감탄했는데....여자분이셨네...ㅎ~
여자들한테 인기 많았을듯...여자들은 저렇게 보이쉬한 스타일 많이 좋아함~~
옆의 게이남자가 더 반했음 ㅋㅋㅋ 끝나고 번호 따고 게이 아이덴터티 혼란 오더라도 함 사귀어보자고 했을 듯 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Jihoo: I'm confident that I'll win.
Me, a lesbian, immediately flustered: oh... you sure would
as a young lesbian myself , this was so informative thank you!
I hope you don't learn from this video cuz its highly biased
@@mnopqrst how??
You'll learn as you grow up! There's no right and wrong in being a "lesbian" or "gay". Just find your own "right". The very absolute "top" and "bottom" thing is very derogatory. I hope you understand this much. Whatever you do on your bed with your partner isn't something you should use as your label.
@@mnopqrst i agree but i did find out im a butch so it just feels good to know i have a word for it lol . but yea ur point is right too thank you!
Well whatever it is. All I know is that I love y'all both, your reactions had me smiling through the entire time while watching you. Made my day. ❤️😍
actually the butch and femme are just terms related to appearance only and not for sexual position preference, with butch in masculine sense and femme in feminine sense. i think those terms being related to sexual position might be highly caused by internalised homophobia and heteronormativity where people tend to view a "normal" pair of lover with one being masc/the man/the top and the other one being the fem/the girl/the bottom.
and i think it's the time for us to change this stigma
I guess Jihoo is talking about the dating experience in Korea for lesbians but it’s not like that everywhere. I’ve seen butch x butch and femme x femme. Also lesbian sex is versatile and fluid too for a lot of people. I think it depends on how comfortable people are. I think maybe if I was younger I would only be okay with receiving but now that I’m older I think it depends on the situation or the day. I would prefer to be with someone who is also comfortable with different things.
It is interesting how this is not discussed for heterosexual couples. As a women I have always struggled with taking the "submissive" or "being made love to" role. I am a "top heterosexual female" if such a think exists. I like to set the pace, be the active partner, I am the sort to kiss with my eyes open so I can see my partners reaction, and I like to have a certain level of aggression in leading. I don't really like to be pursued, or cornered and it takes a long time of sexual trust and confidence to let myself be "made love to". I think even in straight relationships the dynamic of desire can be quite varied and conflicting and it is precisely incompatibilities of this sort that can kill a relationship. A too domineering male can be a real of putter for me, it becomes competitive rather than generous. So I don't think these issues are limited to the gay community and most certainly in my experience you cannot tell a persons sexual preferences and behaviours in bed from their appeareance in the majority of cases so there is a lot of give and take adjustment if you like them to get to know what will work for both parties. Trust and affection are a huge part of that equation.
Thank you for saying this! It's stifling that gender equals assumed preferences. Really love your comment
i think it’s because the terms “top” “bottom” exist because of the lgbtq community
You are so right. And I know some men prefer to be lead, but probably it's a taboo to ask at first
I've always thought I am a hetero girl till I saw her...
The way I squealed then he squealed 😂
i feel good that they're comfortable.
I feel like they just asked the same question in a different way, over and over again 😅
I love them both! Their personalities shine! ❤
i’m crying at how the limp wrist is universal LMAO
They are both very charismatic and cool, I learned a lot today on this topic.
I hope I can see them both again in other videos, they have good chemistry together and it was nice discussion.
Both of are them are so cute that i don't even want to read the subtitles to understand what they're speaking. I can't stop looking at their pretty faces 😍😍😍😍
왼쪽분 보고 민서공이인줄 알고 들어왔어요..
😢앜ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ😂
딴 댓글에선 박보검 친척이라더니.. 자세히 보니 민서공이네 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
At first glance I thought both of them are men till she said she is a lisbian, I paused and went back to find out if I heard correctly, I am surprised she looks so much like a man. 💜
They both are so kind and honest..... I can feel it thought my phone screen that no matter who you're you'll never get uncomfortable by them...... My heart can feel a connection with both of them........ Keep smiling and making hand gestures I really like it☺🤗🥰
She is so gorgeous
여자분 여중여고 다녔으면 학교다닐 때도 인기 진짜 많았을 듯 헤테로 여자애들도 좋아할 상 걍 존잘러야ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
I saw jihoo in the thumbnail and thought "wow what a gorgeous top" 😭
Anyway I'm so surprised that so many people can't recognize Jihoo in first glance that she is a female LOL
Maybe I'm growing in urban areas in Malaysia and also a high Chinese descendants populated area person, so I have seeing tonnes of people from various types of appearance from super long hair men to super short shaved undercut chic cool ladies since I was in my primary school, and I watched tonnes of Hong Kong TVB Cantonese language dramas plus Taiwanese idol dramas and also some China dramas and also Japanese dramas, not to forget about Mando-pop industry singer and variety shows celebrity hosts.
Still remember iconic chic short hairstyle of Tavia Yeung in the Hong Kong TVB drama ' The Hippocratic Crush ', Gui Lun-Mei (Taiwanese actress), Faye Wong (China-Hong Kong singer), Hai Qing (China actress), Sun Li (China actress), Amber Kuo (Taiwanese singer and actress), Pauline Lan (Taiwanese celebrity host), and so much more, even American beauty makeup TH-camr like Alexandra Anele has really masculine feature but so much chic and cool badass vibe, she looks stunning always =O
Y'all could possible see there are so much gorgeous ladies in super cropped hairstyles that I wish to try out one day (of course, after the pandemic please), even hairdresser celebrities like Kenneth Siu (Hong Konger hairdresser based in Australia), Sanja Carica Karasman (Croatian hairstylist based in Slovenia), Rene from the Women's barbershop HFDZK (based in Netherland), Maksim Nikitochkin (based in Ukraine). They all deliver stunning cropped short hairstyles for female customers!
interesting to see how differently the terms are used. From my life experience the terms butch and femme have typically only been used to describe one's style/appearance and don't necessarily correlate to being a top/bottom. Seems a bit rigid to assume that butches are tops and vice versa no?
LOVE THIS!!
“My heart just fell”
Mine too 😂
I am bi sexual and I am in love with Ji Hoo. So handsome and charming
Me too
She looks like an idol. Very handsome/beautiful.
the idea of femme equals bottom and masculine being top is rooted from the heteropatriarchial mentality. Bed positions are not strictly related to your gender identity and presentation
She was implicitly putting it in those words to make it make sense
As a gay person whose love language is physical intimacy, sexual compatibility is number one for me. This might elicit a tongue-in-cheek reaction, but I will NEVER EVER EVER top! Not today, not in a million years.
I'm still looking for my femme top but my gaydar is shit. I don't know who is gay and I look straight af too... the struggle is real. I feel like it's a lot easier for tomboy girls like Jihoo to attract girls, cuz lesbians would know that you're gay and talk to you if they're interested. So it wouldn't matter if your gaydar works or not, because girls can guess purely on appearance and approach you if she's interested. But when you have long hair, and is a fem bottom who is attracted to a fem top, I don't even know where am I supposed to find a girl who is gay and is my type. When I do crush on someone, it's always one sided cuz they're straight... life as a femme bottom who is attracted to femme top sure is difficult. If you have any tips, please let me know.
dating apps? Or maybe nail length lol? Looking for a femme bottom is even harder i think
5:46 HAHAHAHA I FEEL SO CALLED OUT BY THE WRIST THING, I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY I DO IT
When I see the thumb nail I was like - oh he's so handsome.. gotta watch it..
When she starts speaking - annoseyah I'm ji Hoo- I was like - 👀👀👀
a lot of y'all in the comments really should look into wlw history. butches and femmes were the pioneers for us. it makes sense that in a country where queer culture's starting to become more prominent that these identities are what's first to emerge. it's reflective of a heteronormative society, yes, but to simply reduce these terms as "problematic" is incredibly dismissive to the older queer community and everything they did for us.
@moving8496 i do! i highly, HIGHLY recommend every queer person (everyone in general ofc, but queer people especially) read stone butch blues. it's a novel by leslie feinberg based closely on her own life. the book deals with very serious issues, so do a bit of research before reading if there are topics you are sensitive to, but it is a must-read regardless.
As for me, I'm in confusion right now, don't know if I'm homo, lesbian or bi. Don't like putting out labels though. I'm in confusion right now and don't want to go deep into it. I decided to share this here, at least I wouldn't be judged here.
6:27 my heart skip a beat... Ah she is so handsome and cool. I am not a lesbian. But if it's her, then I will fall for her easily.
박보검 친척인줄...... 이목구비 주차가 아주 잘되셨네요.....
I thought they just keep frog leaping over each other, until one gets too tired and bottoms that day