How to Talk About Money in a Relationship | Couple Things
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 มิ.ย. 2024
- This week on Couple Things, we're talking about money. Shawn and I tackle a few of your questions and talk about some things that have worked for us in our relationship when it comes to finances.
Here are a few of the topics that we cover:
00:00 intro
How we approached money while dating, habits, and compromises 2:18
Should you have money dealbreakers at it comes to relationships? 8:03
How early is too early to talk about money? 10:38
How to talk about money before marriage 14:21
How to talk about debt before marriage 18:08
How we made our decision to blend our finances and our thoughts on prenups 19:02
The importance of discussing your family plan before marriage 25:43
Some money habits that we’ve grown to adopt 28:21
If you haven’t yet, please rate Couple Things and subscribe to hear more. Follow us on Instagram to keep the conversation going at / couplething...
And if you have suggestions/recommendations for the show, send us your ideas in a video format - we might just choose yours! Email us at couplethingspod@gmail.com.
We're supported by the following companies that we love! Check them out below:
Juneshine ▶ Receive 20% off PLUS Free Shipping on their best selling variety pack. This is a great way to try all of their delicious flavors. Go to JUNESHINE.com/EASTFAM or use code EASTFAM at checkout to claim this deal
Amp Human ▶ Visit amphuman.com/EASTFAM and use code EASTFAM15 to get 15% off D+ Lotion.
FAN MAIL ADDRESS:
Shawn and Andrew East
750 N San Vicente Blvd.,
East Tower, 11th Floor,
Los Angles, CA 90069
Follow My Instagram ▶ / shawnjohnson
Like the Facebook page! ▶ / shawnjohnson
Follow My Twitter ▶ / shawnjohnson
Snapchat! ▶ @ShawneyJ
Follow AndrewsTwitter ▶ / andrewdeast
Follow My Instagram ▶ / andrewdeast
Like the Facebook page! ▶ / andrewdeast
Snapchat! ▶ @AndrewDEast
How are finances handled in your home?
Should check out Dave Ramsay - he talks about finances in marriage, etc.
Love this podcast btw! My husband works to support our family and I stay home with our daughter. Totally agree that this needs to be discussed kinda early on in the relationship. A lot of people say we are "lucky" that we have the option for one parent to stay home. However, it's not luck as much as it was that we discussed that this would be best for our children and we budgeted for it. Sacrifices now mean a more meaningful payout later. (Ie time with our kids.)
Still working it out to be honest, he's an accountant and is extremely strict with the budget, I try to be good but also like having a nice home and the occasional splurge. Right now we have a joint account for shared expenses like the mortgage, bills, etc. And separate checking/savings but would love to join those up and have one big budget eventually. The big holdup for that is that I'm not as good with budgeting so he's kindof waiting for me to get my act together. Money's a weird thing for us but overall it works out fine and isn't a stressor for us since we both make about the same and are able to live comfortably. Once kids come I think things will probably shift significantly.
I love this topic! I'm so glad that my partner and I started talking about money really early on (like first couple of months) because we both felt nervous about how much the other was spending on dates (we were both unemployed high school students). From there, it transitioned super naturally to talking about our savings/goals/anticipated debts (like student loans)/how we saw banking as a couple in the future (which was a deal breaker for me, I'll be honest. I did not, under any circumstances, like the idea of completely separate accounts and "my money vs. your money")/etc. Once we got engaged, we combined all our accounts, although we kept our previous accounts open to make transferring money with our families easier. We each have exactly one month's rent in our separate savings accounts (that is never ever touched) and our allowance ("fundz") goes into our separate chequings (we both get the same amount) and we have each others' passwords (but never use them, because there's no reason to). Any splurges come from our "fundz" or are discussed together. The only debt either of us has is his and is exclusively under his name because that's the way he wanted it (from student loans). We also talk at length about how much rent we can afford, what we see paying for a house and how long we expect to take to pay it off (and what sacrifices we're willing to make to pay it off sooner), and other such things. While talking about money really stresses me out, having those open, honest, and frank conversations have really helped us build both a sense of trust in each other and a shared vision of the future (and trust that we envision the same financial future).
My hubby and I have been together over 10 years. We have separate accounts and a joint account. Same with credit cards. No secrets whatsoever is a good motto and it works well for us.
Did you like the transition screens and music in this episode?!
Yes!
Yes for sure!! I absolutely loved it so much more.
Meh
It's good either way. I listen to it on my way to work so for me it's not super needed but whatever works best for you. ❤
yeah I like the color backgrounds & the music is cool & alerts yur attention in a subtle way. I like the focus & structure it brings to the video
Yes! Love this convo. When we first started dating I was more financially dependent than my now husband. But just like Shawn, I saw the drive and habits in my husband that I wanted. He’s now the bread winner in our family and we typically agree on money choices. I took the backseat as well until he was more stable with finances (we met in college). I am also more of the spender like Shawn. Lol
Great advice! I'm single but working on my finances at age 45. I had too much fun when I was young and am working on debt (thank you Dave Ramsey) so I can have even more fun and most importantly stability and give more. My recent ex is the same age and after going over his finances, he did not know where it all was going. I don't ever want to live like that. And if a relationship is in my future, I certainly want to feel secure with where I am financially.
We are all about full transparency. We have all of our finances combined - joint accounts. The only thing we don't have under the same name/account are our VISA cards. We keep a minimal amount as the limit on them, but it allows us to buy things that we might want to have privacy around (gifts, etc). We put all of our income into a joint account, and all of our expenses come out of that account. There were times he contributed more, and times I contribute more. It all evens out.
Andrew, you’re such an intelligent guy! It’s really cool to see this side of you when discussing finances.👍
Wow. Dropping truth bombs here. Love it, thanks for opening up about this. Would love to hear you guys pick a specific area in this like creating a budget or walking us through your regular monthly routine for going over where you're at.
Great advice Guys!!! I wish my husband and I had a better money relationship. We’ve been married almost 27 years and STILL can’t talk about money comfortably.
I can totally relate
Don’t share it. I have mine. He has his. That way we don’t argue about it.
Watching this makes me feel so old fashioned - me and my husband got a joint bank account as soon as we got engaged, use it for everything and discuss nothing! It’s the way we were brought up. Nothings a secret but it’s not in the table to discuss either. We have some debt that we are working our way through and I set a budget [im an accountant so love a good spreadsheet] and that gets us through most situations. None of our married friends have joint accounts and keep things very separate. Thanks for touching on this subject and being open
You are very wise for your age! You have more things figured out financially than I do!
Money and finances are so important in a relationship! My husband and I have everything together except we both have two separate credit cards. His is a bank card and Lowe’s and mine is a bank card and kohl’s. We have a mutual understanding to not make big purchases without each other and we know to keep our credit cards under 10% of the limit. It works for us! 🥰 we also have a savings account goal for our main account and our sons savings account.
Love watching these every week, they really make my day! Can’t wait to watch :)
You make our day!
Found your guys podcast ☺️I’m hooked💜Everything is articulated in a way that’s easy you relate to! Love the content! Keep making great stuff!
I really liked this one! My husband (who is an accountant) and I went through some of these same topics in marriage prep classes through our church. I never would have thought to let him know if I was planning on spending over a certain amount of money before that class but I’m really glad we do that now. It just helps keep the communication open. We have exceptions for groceries or other routine household supply sort of purchases. Glad to hear it seems to work for you guys too
Love y'all and everything you do to help us. Thank you so much!❤
You appreciate you being here with us!!
Finances/debts are such an important topics that tend to be avoided by so many couples, whether dating, engaged, or married. I worked in a Credit Union for several years right out of college and the amount of couples I saw whose reckless/bad spending habits would put such a hurt on the relationship was unreal. Many would end up with tons of student debt, multiple maxed out credit cards, bills going unpaid, and a lot end up in bankruptcy. The amount of couples I saw who were in bankruptcy before they were 30 years old was really sad. I don't believe there is any one right way of handling finances, I think it varies from couple to couple on what works best for them, but IT NEEDS TO BE DISCUSSED. Some of the more financially stable couples I saw were ones who each partner had their own account and the other was joint on the account. That way they maintained a sense of independence. I think that only works though when there is open communication between the couple about finances and a good amount of trust. Kudos to you both for discussing such a hard topic and you handled it well! Love ya East Fam! ❤
What an extremely relevant, needed and important topic you guys touched upon there. Well done and thanks so much for sharing with us, after all, you are, whether you like it or not, a super example of a couple to look up to. Love this family! God bless you 4 :) x
Love listening to you two!
Great topic!! My husbands and I both discussed finances before marriage and now it’s our strength. We always agree on the choices made and have a spending limit set that if you want to spend over confirm with the other partner. Also we have one joint acct
Ahhh conversations like this make me just want to sit and talk with you guys so bad! I have so many thoughts about finances especially from a Christian perspective, I'm in college right now and TA for a family finance class. I got married about a year ago and it's been such a cool thing seeing how marriage helps us grow in every way, including in how we handle finances if we do it right.
Thank you for sharing this conversation!
Thank you both for having this conversation with us! 😎👍❤️
I can’t believe she’s delirious enough to actually say that a prenup would be worse for her spouse and look at his face when she says it, he doesn’t nod, or give any sort of approval lol
6:00 m excellent advice.
We have done our accounts the same as you and I agree with the being open
Loved your video! Thanks for sharing..
Would be curious to know EastFam if you ever had to struggle financially? That is, did you ever worry about how you were ever going to pay the bills? Did you ever worry about if I don’t have this job, how will we survive? Your situation is atypical because Shawn came to relationship with probably a good nest egg based on her success as a young athlete. Andrew probably didn’t come to relationship with $ as he was in college & didn’t have a career plus maybe had school loan debt. May (or may not) be accurate. But I don’t think your situation is representative of most people, hence the challenges can be more overwhelming when a couple is worrying about losing their home, putting food on the table, a job loss, etc. I agree that communication & being honest with your spouse are crucial no matter what financial challenges are being faced.
Love this! As a Christian you’re one and my husband and I believe that includes finances! But how do you do your bills? You half them if you don’t combine an account?
East Fam Channel: Are you going to do a funny video or did I miss a video for hitting 1M? Also, CONGRATS ON 1M! Love you all.
Great show loved it
Love you guys!
Great topic. My wife and I had the before getting serious chat with a financial planner. It is very much needed discussion?
Everything, including money should be discussed with your spouse. Most couples don’t talk about the things that will cause them to breakup.
How did you decide to apply for a PPP loan? would love your tips and tricks!!!!!!!!
Great podcast! I love listening to Couple Things. Let me know if this is too intrusive but I'm curious with two separate bank accounts, who pays for those "we" items? Like diapers for Drew, a family trip, or a home. Is it 50/50 or whoever is the most convenient at the time?
How do I get a question answered if I watch the podcast on TH-cam?
Great topic! And you are both wise beyond your years!
I think u shud definately hav a convo about finances B4 u even get engaged! If u both know u want to become engaged soon, b4 u do that have the $ talk b/c wat if u find out stuff that makes going ahead questionable?
21:48
Andrew coming to appreciate the value in spending $ on things that do bring joy & comfort to yor fam even if technically unecessary(ie the breakfast table)
I hate it wen people make u feel like something is such a splurge then end up using it all the time & getting true value from it but they hassled u about it😏ughhh so frustrating!
Shawn realizing the value in self-denial @ times
I think it is good u both giv & take here from each other's perspective. I like seeing that Andrew especially is willing to flex a little on his perspective b/c he seems very determined to live very frugally which is fine but not fair if Shawn values certain comforts that Andrew just deems unecessary
???.
If Shawn hadn't contributed to the marriage w/wat I assume is a hefty amount of $ I wndr if there wud be deeper issues around spending desires. Wud Andrew resent Shawn's wishes if most of the $ in the relationship he had made? & be less willing to allow for some of the upgrades & design in the home? -- which seems so meaningful to Shawn
??? 22:07
"Shawn sees value in not getting wat u NEED?"
idon't get this statement
I don"t think u guys hav any need that is unmet. I think u may deny some "wants" financially but there is a big difference tween the 2
Bills are bills don’t fight over what you can’t change.my husband and I got 25 years we are each other champions been times he was laid off no money he would clean,laundry, cook, kids which is a job for the home and family. Remember your in it together
😊When my husband and I were dating we talked generally about our financial situations, when we got engaged we got more in-depth with these discussions and a week after we married we opened up a joint bank account and then all our finances became one...it is dangerous to keep your finances separate
You guys live in Nashville, where the KING of Money and Marriage is, Dave Ramsey!!!!
u look so cute in this one Shawn. I can't tell if it just shwred hair-- I like yor blond highlites how well they show up. Yur face looks so fresh & bright(but it does in a lot of yor videos😄)
Andrew I like yor glasses on u!
We don’t mix money. I have mine. He has his. We each pay half the household expenses. Done. Easy. I spend mine, he spends his, we have no arguments about it. I refuse to share an account. I like my own finances.
Andrew knew Shawn had millions,who is he trying to kid...
If it wasn't for Shawn's money, wouldn't have the things you have..Andrew not a fool....
I don't care if my woman works, but I don't want her laying on the couch watching soap operas all day. It won't work out for us