🔴What's a time YOUR morale as a player was sinking, and why? Did you stick it out or head for the hills? ✨Mordenkainen's Tome of Foes GIVEAWAY: gleam.io/g42XL/mordenkainens-tome-of-foes ✨
the way I keep player morale up is rooting for them, being the party cheerleader and rewarding them for finding success and showing investment. the party was trying to take over a ghost pirate vessel and it looked like all hope was lost, but they have two npc companions, one support and one offensive. it was when the barbarian's pet bear cub scaled the masts and took out the first marksman, they felt like they had a chance together if they pushed. the battle ended with the entire party and myself chanting "MVP! MVP! MVP!" as Beary Seinfeld got a critical hit on the last enemy and damn well near saved the entire battle.
Thanks for the reminder that not every DM subscribes to Web DM/Jim Davis' philosophy! IE, if you want to keep having players, don't take pride in killing them! Interesting stories, thanks!
Had a DM that not only thought it was great to have PCs die all the time (at least one per session), but would also use a crits table that resulted in dismemberments etc, potions of race change laying about. Basically, we had very little agency over even the definition of our characters. It also didn't help that he really, really didn't know the rules, and would stubbornly stick to whatever misunderstanding he made up on the spot, which many times was "that's not a thing". So, no Charge action, no using half-cover for better AC, etc. It was a real death march. The worst part wasn't the deaths (we've all played grimdark or filter campaigns), but rather the minimisation of agency and the gaslighting of what the rules allowed.
Wow, that dude sounds like a real piece of work. Crit tables suck in my experience. 100% negative for players/PCs and meh for bad guys since they'll die in like 2-3 rounds anyway. Players have to live with their maimed PCs. That's funny because DMs not knowing the rules made my top 10 (or 5?) list video of things DMs do that players hate. It's one thing to say, "Hey guys, I'm still learning the rules, and holy crap there's a lot of them, so speak up if you know something." It's something entirely different just to stubbornly blotch them and refuse to listen to player input. Out of curiosity, how long did that group last before the players threw in the towel on that DM?
Thanks, dude! 😁 I got back into DnD a few years ago as a player in my friend Joe's game, so it was cool to bring him on the channel. (And now he's a player in my Thursday game at work.)
I MADE IT TO THE END! As a player whose morale was broken by a bad DM, I at least took some comfort in knowing I'm not the only person it's happened to.
I had just had a falling out with my group. However, I always was willing to talk and listen to them (stating it many times at the end of the game, during the week, etc...) but they never said much until it was too late. Half of them ended up blowing up to each other and bashing me behind my back. I didn’t mind it but they also bashed the left out players and I didn’t want the toxicity and bullying actions. My bashing I took as a learning experience and will look back and grow from it. However I don’t want it to happen again. How do you get them to talk if they don’t? Oh and... I MADE IT TO THE END!
This is an awesome question. I think you just found yourself in a future Ask the DM video. I'll get you a written response, too, because I do have some immediate thoughts about this... Stay tuned... 😁
My long-winded answer as promised. 😃 First, there's only so much you can do. You can ask your players for feedback, tell them that you want to know how they feel about the game, that it's okay to bring up issues with you, and all that stuff. However, at the end of the day, if they don't talk with you, you can't force them to. All you can do is let them know that you are open to talking with them about the game and create an open and accepting atmosphere. It's important to make sure that your demeanor communicates that you are open to talking about things, too. People will read your body language and act based on it before they act based on the words you use. That is, if your words say talk with me, but your body language says, "I'm not open to hearing criticisms about my game," then your players won't talk with you. Part of this is that when one or two does venture to talk with you about the game, you must absolutely listen to what they say and not get defensive. Listen, prob for more information to try to understand the player's point of view, thank him for letting you know, and say you'll consider things over. This is a good point, too. Just because one player approaches you with feedback, doesn't mean you have to accept it and change. Players can be wrong just as much as the DM can. For instance, I have one player who would love it if I had the enemies be much more deadly, killing PCs more often, and TPKing the party frequently. But that's ONE player's desires. I know that my other players wouldn't appreciate that. So, obviously, there's only so much I can do to adjust my game for what one player wants. However, if you find most of your players saying a thing, then I'd consider harder what changes you might make to address their concern. Okay, but I'm off on a tangent. You said how to get them to talk to you when they won't. Here are some concrete suggestions. First, at the end of a game session, perhaps each game session, set aside 15 minutes where you solicit them for feedback. And I'd has them very specific questions. Question 1: Name one thing you really liked about this game session. Question 2: Name one thing you didn't like and how it might be improved. I suggest having just one player answer the first question and then the second question. Then move onto another player. I would ask for volunteers first. Hopefully a player will get the ball rolling. If one doesn't, ask a specific player, one that is usually outspoken, to see what he says. As people are sharing things, either good or bad, ask the other players what they think about it, too. Remember, you want to get a feel for what your players as a whole like and dislike about the game session you just ran. What's great about this method is it allows you all to have a conversation about things in the moment right after the game session happened. So, everything will be fresh in everyone's mind. You can then take this information away with you, and consider how you might adjust your game to better align with your players' desires. The second way I'd suggest you solicit feedback from players is by an anonymous SurveyMonkey survey. The great thing about this is that its anonymous so players will feel more comfortable bringing things up that they might not want to say to your face. The downside, of course, is that it's not a conversation, just an information dump, and you won't have the opportunity to follow up with questions. You can include a spot for their name if they want to give it to you, if you'd like. But keeping it 100% anonymous has benefits, too. I'd ask a few open-ended questions and some rating questions. For instance, "What are things you enjoy about my games?" and "What are things you don't enjoy and how would you change them?" For rating questions, things like rate on a scale of 1 to 10: "How much do you enjoy combats?" and "How satisfied are you with the game overall?" But those are just examples. I would think about your game and players and think of specific questions you have that you think would help you improve your games. I hope this helps, man. Again, remember you can only do so much. At the end of the day, if the players don't want to give you feedback even though you've done everything you can to solicit it and make it feel like a safe space to talk about things, there's not much else you can do. Remember, a DM can only do so much. The players have to meet him halfway.
This was a great talk, while I don't think I'd like to see too much of this (sitting and talking is better off as a podcast, due to lack of visual interest). The information and perspectives were interesting. I didn't honestly think the "terrible" rulings from your other videos were from your own personal games!!!
Thanks! Yeah, I agree. Lots of good information, but part of my schtick here is good information fast. So, this super long style format probably won't happen too much that I foresee. I'm sure I've had my share of bad rulings, but, yeah, I likely tend to highlight bad rulings from other DMs, (I have a reputation to maintain, right? LOL 😃)
🔴What's a time YOUR morale as a player was sinking, and why? Did you stick it out or head for the hills?
✨Mordenkainen's Tome of Foes GIVEAWAY: gleam.io/g42XL/mordenkainens-tome-of-foes ✨
the way I keep player morale up is rooting for them, being the party cheerleader and rewarding them for finding success and showing investment. the party was trying to take over a ghost pirate vessel and it looked like all hope was lost, but they have two npc companions, one support and one offensive. it was when the barbarian's pet bear cub scaled the masts and took out the first marksman, they felt like they had a chance together if they pushed. the battle ended with the entire party and myself chanting "MVP! MVP! MVP!" as Beary Seinfeld got a critical hit on the last enemy and damn well near saved the entire battle.
Thanks for the reminder that not every DM subscribes to Web DM/Jim Davis' philosophy! IE, if you want to keep having players, don't take pride in killing them!
Interesting stories, thanks!
Yeah, not all do for sure. I've had a least one DM who took pride in killing PCs, and, yep, he lost all his players. 😀
Had a DM that not only thought it was great to have PCs die all the time (at least one per session), but would also use a crits table that resulted in dismemberments etc, potions of race change laying about. Basically, we had very little agency over even the definition of our characters. It also didn't help that he really, really didn't know the rules, and would stubbornly stick to whatever misunderstanding he made up on the spot, which many times was "that's not a thing". So, no Charge action, no using half-cover for better AC, etc.
It was a real death march. The worst part wasn't the deaths (we've all played grimdark or filter campaigns), but rather the minimisation of agency and the gaslighting of what the rules allowed.
Wow, that dude sounds like a real piece of work. Crit tables suck in my experience. 100% negative for players/PCs and meh for bad guys since they'll die in like 2-3 rounds anyway. Players have to live with their maimed PCs.
That's funny because DMs not knowing the rules made my top 10 (or 5?) list video of things DMs do that players hate. It's one thing to say, "Hey guys, I'm still learning the rules, and holy crap there's a lot of them, so speak up if you know something." It's something entirely different just to stubbornly blotch them and refuse to listen to player input.
Out of curiosity, how long did that group last before the players threw in the towel on that DM?
Way way too long.
LOL - Well at least the death march is over. :)
Woot I love new videos! and yet another good one!
Thanks, dude! 😁 I got back into DnD a few years ago as a player in my friend Joe's game, so it was cool to bring him on the channel. (And now he's a player in my Thursday game at work.)
I MADE IT TO THE END!
It took two sessions of watching though.
Dang it. What do we owe you? A car or something? Lol
I MADE IT TO THE END! As a player whose morale was broken by a bad DM, I at least took some comfort in knowing I'm not the only person it's happened to.
I MADE IT TO THE END! This has given me some thoughts about a game I am in and what feedback to give to the DM.
I had just had a falling out with my group. However, I always was willing to talk and listen to them (stating it many times at the end of the game, during the week, etc...) but they never said much until it was too late. Half of them ended up blowing up to each other and bashing me behind my back. I didn’t mind it but they also bashed the left out players and I didn’t want the toxicity and bullying actions. My bashing I took as a learning experience and will look back and grow from it. However I don’t want it to happen again. How do you get them to talk if they don’t? Oh and... I MADE IT TO THE END!
This is an awesome question. I think you just found yourself in a future Ask the DM video. I'll get you a written response, too, because I do have some immediate thoughts about this... Stay tuned... 😁
My long-winded answer as promised. 😃
First, there's only so much you can do. You can ask your players for feedback, tell them that you want to know how they feel about the game, that it's okay to bring up issues with you, and all that stuff.
However, at the end of the day, if they don't talk with you, you can't force them to. All you can do is let them know that you are open to talking with them about the game and create an open and accepting atmosphere.
It's important to make sure that your demeanor communicates that you are open to talking about things, too. People will read your body language and act based on it before they act based on the words you use. That is, if your words say talk with me, but your body language says, "I'm not open to hearing criticisms about my game," then your players won't talk with you.
Part of this is that when one or two does venture to talk with you about the game, you must absolutely listen to what they say and not get defensive. Listen, prob for more information to try to understand the player's point of view, thank him for letting you know, and say you'll consider things over.
This is a good point, too. Just because one player approaches you with feedback, doesn't mean you have to accept it and change. Players can be wrong just as much as the DM can. For instance, I have one player who would love it if I had the enemies be much more deadly, killing PCs more often, and TPKing the party frequently. But that's ONE player's desires. I know that my other players wouldn't appreciate that. So, obviously, there's only so much I can do to adjust my game for what one player wants.
However, if you find most of your players saying a thing, then I'd consider harder what changes you might make to address their concern.
Okay, but I'm off on a tangent. You said how to get them to talk to you when they won't. Here are some concrete suggestions.
First, at the end of a game session, perhaps each game session, set aside 15 minutes where you solicit them for feedback. And I'd has them very specific questions.
Question 1: Name one thing you really liked about this game session.
Question 2: Name one thing you didn't like and how it might be improved.
I suggest having just one player answer the first question and then the second question. Then move onto another player.
I would ask for volunteers first. Hopefully a player will get the ball rolling. If one doesn't, ask a specific player, one that is usually outspoken, to see what he says.
As people are sharing things, either good or bad, ask the other players what they think about it, too. Remember, you want to get a feel for what your players as a whole like and dislike about the game session you just ran.
What's great about this method is it allows you all to have a conversation about things in the moment right after the game session happened. So, everything will be fresh in everyone's mind. You can then take this information away with you, and consider how you might adjust your game to better align with your players' desires.
The second way I'd suggest you solicit feedback from players is by an anonymous SurveyMonkey survey. The great thing about this is that its anonymous so players will feel more comfortable bringing things up that they might not want to say to your face.
The downside, of course, is that it's not a conversation, just an information dump, and you won't have the opportunity to follow up with questions. You can include a spot for their name if they want to give it to you, if you'd like. But keeping it 100% anonymous has benefits, too.
I'd ask a few open-ended questions and some rating questions. For instance, "What are things you enjoy about my games?" and "What are things you don't enjoy and how would you change them?"
For rating questions, things like rate on a scale of 1 to 10: "How much do you enjoy combats?" and "How satisfied are you with the game overall?"
But those are just examples. I would think about your game and players and think of specific questions you have that you think would help you improve your games.
I hope this helps, man. Again, remember you can only do so much. At the end of the day, if the players don't want to give you feedback even though you've done everything you can to solicit it and make it feel like a safe space to talk about things, there's not much else you can do.
Remember, a DM can only do so much. The players have to meet him halfway.
I MADE IT TO THE END :)
The few. The proud. The made-it-to-the-enders. 😂 (Next Tuesday will feature another "long video challenge, too. Lol)
I MADE IT TO THE END!
Yar! 😁👊
I made it to the end.
I MADE IT TO THE END
The few, the proud.😂
This was a great talk, while I don't think I'd like to see too much of this (sitting and talking is better off as a podcast, due to lack of visual interest). The information and perspectives were interesting. I didn't honestly think the "terrible" rulings from your other videos were from your own personal games!!!
Thanks! Yeah, I agree. Lots of good information, but part of my schtick here is good information fast. So, this super long style format probably won't happen too much that I foresee. I'm sure I've had my share of bad rulings, but, yeah, I likely tend to highlight bad rulings from other DMs, (I have a reputation to maintain, right? LOL 😃)
I MADE IT TO THE END!
I MADE IT TO THE END!