When the church allows a divorced person to get married, it is teaching children that, "Daddy can leave us," and there is no security in marriage. Daddy can show up to mass with his "new family" and receive communion; that harms children and that is scandalous. People need to know that marriage is a life-long committment! Allowing a divorced person to marry really dilutes that message.
💯. A Catholic influencer just got divorced within 5 months from an 18 year marriage with kids and to say anything that wasn’t affirming, as in think about this more, was labeled hateful!
Thank you for this information as someone who is in a broken marriage after 20 years and4 children we live together but in separate rooms share dinner together takes maturity for sure
Wow! It is so wild that this is the topic because I'm going through that right now, was married kind of young but he wasn't Catholic and I was but didn't know a whole lot about being Catholic. So when we divorced and I remarried a Catholic I thought we were all good. But now I'm going through this and like my priest says God's timing is perfect❤ although no one at the parish we attend now knows about this. This was a very long time ago so that's different
16:15 So ive discerned my marriage was more contractual than covenental, even journaled it, confessionally. It culminated when Kiddo called the cops on him, hearing objects being thrown all about (incl. in my general direction)... but this state has No Fault divorce, and he's paid ZERO on the mortgage or kiddocare in the last 1.5yrs (he tries gifting $ at times, but i can tell it's from his mommy's acct, so i torched that chk). Question: is it wrong to wish for widowhood? i suspect so, but don't actually see another way out. ... Forgive me Father's, pretty sure i sin.
From what I have heard, the church in many dioceses actually REQUIRES a civil divorce before moving forward with a case for annulment. I suppose there are practical reasons for that. But would you consider doing a show on annulments to answer these and other questions?
With several diocese at a 100% finding of nullity this is all a moot point. Any marriage can be found invalid. The annulment situation in America micks God
@@DainBramaged00 I think this data was collected before Amoris Laetitia where basically the whole process was streamlined and simplified, leading to a much higher incentive to make it invalid because there is no automatic appeal anymore. In any case accurate and recent statistics are hard to find. It seems that most annulments are just approved though.
Great shout out to the St Paul Centre. Scott Hahn and John Bergsma are The Best on Scripture. What a blessing to the Church. Oh yeah, and Godsplaining is pretty jolly awesome too❤
What a timely topic. I was pondering about my married life. I got married outside the Church and for other reason than love or to have children. We are leading separate lives but remain close friends. When i rediscovered/reverted to my Catholic faith and had a conversion, I decided not to remarry or to have any romantic relationship and focus on God and helping people/animals. How can I settle this situation?
Well the good news (not in the sense of disobeying the church...but that you are free to marry) is since you married outside of the Church without dispensation from a bishop to do so...your marriage was not sacramental and it was not valid in the eyes of the church. If you ever meet the one you can get married in the Catholic Church and will have to do a lack of form annulment real short to do so...and of course go to confession now so you can receive the sacraments if you already have not done so.
I’ve been listening to a lot of Gregory Pine as of late and was wondering how one can study vice and virtue, to have an understanding of all the words we don’t here quite as often, that may be touched on by those of the likes of Aquinas. Maybe any book recommendations, or lectures to watch, or classes to take?
I've been waiting on my annulment for a year now and it might be another year before it is recognized/granted. Can't tell you how many arguments I've gotten into with Prots about it. It's a lot lol
Dear Padres…can a devout practicing Catholic attend an invalid family wedding between 2 Baptized Catholics, one of which is a separated, not yet divorced, but seeking annulment Catholic? The Priest “allegedly” advised them to go ahead and do what they need to do, and then come back to validate the marriage once the annulment is approved.
This is a great episode. Fathers, could you do a similar episode tackling the sacramental life and the pastoral untraced that come along with several variations of complications between married couples and birth control? This seems to me to be a much under-attended to especially the complex situations. For example, if a couple wants more children but they have children already and if the mother were to get pregnant it would endanger her life.
I have a question from a person entering the church and their significant other is not entering the church, are they sinning if they continue marital relations without receiving the sacrament of matrimony?
What? I’m confused. I married, in civil law only, to a baptized Catholic man. We separated. I converted. To my knowledge, in the eyes of the church, I’m not married. Was my marriage bound by natural law or was it invalid? For a while I wanted to marry my husband in church, after I converted and after the separation, because I felt we were already bound by natural law and we have kids, so I felt I needed to do the right thing. But he is abusive, knows no law but his own, knows no truth but the one he creates, and I can’t. I just can’t. Any help to understand the situation will be appreciated. Thank you.
Your marriage was not bound by natural law since your ex was bound by a higher law, eclieastical law. For his marriage to be valid, it would have needed to happen in the church. A marriage cannot be valid for one party but not the other, so the high law takes precedent. In ordinary circumstances, it would be ideal for the children to have both parents in the same home, however, it does not sound like that is the case for you. You were never under an obligation form the church to marry your husband, only to live chastely according to your state in life. This meant if you wished to live as husband and wife, you should have become husband and wife. But you always had the option to separate. In fact, if you were to have sought a marriage in the church solely because you thought that was what you had to do, it might affect your ability to fully give consent. For instance, when I was going through my marriage prep, I was asked by the priest if I was pregnant, and if I felt outside pressure to get married in the church. If I had been pregnant, the priest would have advised waiting until after the child had been born, as to help ensure the reason I was doing this wasn't just to avoid scandal.
As far as my understanding goes, you're unmarried. Your husband, as baptized Catholic, was obliged to have a church marriage, he didnt. Additionally, if you were unbaptized, there's also the Pauline privilege. Whether or not you'd an additional declaration of the nulity, I can't say for sure, but I don't think so. In doubt, I'd suggest consulting canon layer, as such cases may be more complicated.
What's sad about some of these holdings are a couple things... a person can be abused and taken advantage of by their spouse and you are essentially damning them to a life of suffering - rendering them a victim of that person for the rest of their lives. Now, because this one person decided to be a horrible human being their victim is kept in punishment due to not wanting to break some rule. Rules are supposed to provide protection. This typically only serves the abusive partner. Also, marriage is also for people to have a sexual outlet for their sexual appetite, otherwise why would Paul say it is better to marry than to burn with passion? So because someone was victimized by a bad person they had married they now have no sexual appetite and cannot find someone to fulfill it with? Do you see how these rules only end up hurting the good people? Because the bad people aren't following them anyway!
Something I find helpful is that “rules “ are not there for us to suffer for no reason , rather it is always for our good. All of the saints suffered in some way . Many in severity…. If a man/woman were to live their entire life as they please, absent of God, and on their deathbed , had true repentance and conversion … did they “win “?
@katrinagiovanni891 but we are supposed to stand for justice for the oppressed and set captives free, not to shrug and say "well it must be for your good." If someone is in a position of authority they are especially to be held accountable for all the times they told women and children to suffer abuse due to rules for marriage or any other thing when they could have set them free from oppression
Question: What if a man divorces his wife, who he already has kids with, and then marries another and then has a child? What then should happen according to the church?
They address this around 27:40. The jist of what they say is the children do have a claim to their parents, so it is not advised that he leave, but he is to cease having sexual relations with the woman as she is not his wife in the eyes of the church.
@Ael-tt6bd oh I guess I miss read the question and didn't see he had kids with his wife as well, my apologies. My understanding is that both kids would have in a sense the right to an intact family, which isn't really possible in this case due to his actions. I think it would then come down to a matter of prudence. He has a responsibility to be a good father to all of his kids, and he definitly should not be sleeping with someone who is not his wife. But if he is not able to reconcil with his wife (if they were to always be fighting and unhappy) I don't think that would really be better for those kids for him to be living with his wife and that family. I think it would probably be more ideal if he could reconcil with his wife than if he lived as brother and sister with his mistress, but it seems like a situation like this would require more specific and individualized knowledge to know the best way forward.
Question: wouldn't an abusive spouse render the marriage null because they didn't meet the formal qualifications of entering into the sacrament in the first place?
I think that question has a multiple part answer (but I'm not an expert and this is a TH-cam comment section): The nature of the abuse is probably relevant, foreknowledge of that behavior might come into play (whether the behavior was known before they entered into marriage or not), and the reason for the abuse is likely important. I'm not sure about how the nature of the abuse affects things if it is considered in isolation. If someone knows before getting married that their future spouse will hit them or verbally abuse them, they entered into the marriage with knowledge. I would guess this would likely not warrant an annulment, since they got married with full knowledge, that is, the abuse was not hidden until after they were married. If the abusive behavior was hidden (he was such a nice guy, then we got married and he started hitting me!), that could possibly matter. That means the spouse did not have full knowledge of who she was marrying. The reason for the abuse... If it turns out the abusive spouse is just a horrible person, that could result in an annulment or provide evidence an annulment is there. If the abusive spouse, say, had a change in behavior due to external factors (stress, brain injury, illness), that is different. For stress, that needs to be fixed. For injury to the brain? That probably falls under the "better or worse/sickness and health" agreement made for the marriage covenant. Marriage is to provide a helpmate to the spouses. Sometimes helping is incredibly hard. Disclaimer: none of this means, as they talk about in the episode, that you can't leave the person and separate. That is a discernment you have to make yourself.
An abuse in itself doesn't _render_ marriage null. There's also nothing saying that being an abusive person from character is a disqualification for marriage. (Sure, it's perhaps unwise to marry such a person knowing that, but there's no disqualification). However, IF the marriage took placed under coercion, that this would qualify it as null, die to the lack of proper consent. Also, if a person had, say, been abusive in the past in a disruptive way (e.g. webt to prison, had trouble with the law, or had to undergo therapy for anger issues), but did not disclose that before marriage, that _might_ be grounds for annulment, because, again, it goes to the issue of informer consent. But the abuse as such doesn't nulify the marriage. Separation might be recommend though, for the safety concerns.
@@kimfleury Exactly! People are so confused. Even if a legal separation is needed for safety, a life-long vow, a promise of "Til death do us part", is not to be broken.
To be honest, I don't understand how it's possible for a Catholic who considers her or himself a believer, to enter into intimate non-marital relationship. I just can't even imagine how one could willfully engage in illicit sexual act, it just feels so morally wrong and evil, and directly against God. How can one gain any pleasure while knowing they're commiting a grave sin against God? I can comprehend someone being so angry and in affect that they commit murder, because they're so blinded by hate and anger, but how can one claim to love or be in love with another person and at the same time close their heart to God? It just feels so strange to me. Maybe someone here have a different experience/feeling, so please chime in. I just can't really comprehend that.
@@CarolineOwens-s1hI agree. And we all suffer from concupiscence. Also different people struggle with different capital sins. For some it may be sex, for others pride, sloth etc you know the list .
@CarolineOwens-s1h I don't know, it feels different, is it just me? As in, it feels death serious, like having a choice to cross a certain threshold, which ought not to be crossed, because it would break something in the heart, I can't explain it and don't really know what it would be that is supposed to break, it just feels like it would. I just don't know how one can gain any pleasure from that, knowing they're commiting mortal sin. Wouldn't this awareness take away any pleasure?
@@joane24 It's just a sin you lucked out on. Are you married? Sometimes we are not given in marriage. Imagine a lifetime of celibacy, touch starved and lonely. It's a hard life for a layperson. Perhaps you live that and still hold strong, that would be a blessing. I had a long struggle in my celibate life. You commit sins I could not imagine either. We need to stay humble. Christ keeps us protected in our hearts from certain sins and permits us to struggle elsewhere. For me, I usually can see how one can fall. I am weak without the grace of God. When He permits the struggle we are all humbled.
@Willow115.34 It's a helpful answer, thank you. That makes sense. I thought everyone would feel that way too and was wondering how then people would commit these sins. I'm celibate, and while I do sometimes feel lonely, I couldn't in good conscience engage myself physically with someone (which outside of marriage be in an illicit union), it would feel like tearing some invisible veil apart. Also the closer I'd get to potentially romantic situations, the closer I'd feel the presence of God and then my heart naturally goes to Him, but also I immediately feel that following into physical intimacy would be wrong and evil. Again, thanks for offering a helpful perspective. And I certainly have plenty other sins, though don't dare to say them in open plenum 😅.
The Church does recognize divorce, sadly, in practice. And they REQUIRE a civil divorce before you can apply for review of the marriage. I wish the Church tribunals would review the request for annulment 1st and then say this IS/or is not a marriage and you can/can't get it annulled. Instead of divorce 1st. It does not make sense.
The church does recognize divorce, sadly. Not technically, but annulments are offered and sometimes encouraged, rather than reminding people that life-long vows are to be respected, even if a legal separation is needed for safety.
@mrs.marydonahue5236 @jeme7339 This is only since after Vatican II. In short the secular definition of marriage was de facto accepted despite the contrary constant teaching of the magisterium that says that only the sacramental or natural marriage, not the civic marriage matters.
Hey Father Gregory, we are allergic to the same things, including myself, obviously I'm not allergic to you and you're not allergic to me, but I'm also allergic to myself😂 So glad you're not allergic to horses, what an awful life that would be, although it might not be as bad for you as it would be for me😂❤
Still such a sticky thing - my sister in law, devout Catholic, was married for 25+ years to a philandering loser. She tried hard to keep the marriage together despite this for the sake of the 5 kids. He asked for a divorce and finally after years of abuse and cheating, she'd had enough. Met my brother, also a devout Catholic, never married. They went the annulment route, counseling, etc. but the two parish priests and the archdiocese made it very difficult and complicated. It was a hard time. They finally married outside the church, (by my Dad, who was Mayor and had authority to do a civil). Honestly, 2 finer people you will never meet. Daily mass, but never receive Communion. Married 28+ years now. The grown kids think of my brother as their father.
I'm sorry to say, but not even adultery excuses divorce. Your sister in law is still married to that philandering loser, and will remain married to him until either dies. She can go through a secular ceremony, but a Catholic marriage cannot be dissolved. That loser will pay the price dearly for such disgusting sins, and is in some way guilty of his wife's adultery, but that wife is still committing adultery. There's a reason she can't partake in communion.
I struggle so much with understanding what to do with my marital situation. I fell away from the faith and married outside the church. My husband then abandoned me. Because my marriage was never valid, my priest explained that I'm technically unmarried and thus free to marry if that ever became an option in my life. Especially since I consented to a civil divorce to protect what belongings I have left from my ex. I would normally say that I trust the authority of the Church, but I struggle with this fear of "what if they're wrong and God does still see me as married and I would spend the rest of my life in adultery if I did ever marry?"
We are allowed, morally, to trust the judgement of the Church in these matters. If you have the authorities at church investigate your marriage, and they say it wasn't sacramentally valid, you can accept their determination and be morally free to marry in the church, if they say so. God would not hold it against you if you were obedient to the Church, if you are honest with the information you give them about your civil marriage.
I have same problem,with my situation cause my husband was abusive,I console to my spiritual director and said God gave us wisdom if we're in danger we leave the spouse...I wanted to get married again,but I'm afraid I might commit adultery and the last thing I don't want to do...I'm separated for 30 years,I'm divorced by law .
Hello, there! If you'd like, you are welcome to email Fr. Gregory at gregory.pine@opeast.org for clarification on your situation. Be assured of our prayers!
Are these Catholic or orthodox priests? They are laughing a lot and makes me assume they are celibate and Catholic. Orthodox priests are married and always anxious
This is the one reason I am not able to become Catholic. I was married to my first wife in a protestant ceremony where we both were baptized. We got divorced, and I remarried a woman who was baptized as Catholic but never practiced the Catholic faith, was married several times before, but none of which were in a Catholic ceremony. Our marriage was a civil ceremony. It's not possible or practical to convince my new wife that we have to live as brother and sister the rest of our lives. That's the only possible way to become Catholic for me.
@@michaelgartman4320 If I may, that sounds like a cliche advice, but pray the rosary! Our Lady can intercede wonders for us, don't give up hope. God can find a good solution for any situation, there's no hopeless situations.
Reach out to me brother. I can help you with the paperwork. It can be done and you can be validly married in the Catholic Church. Especially with the new rules from the Vatican.
RCIA student here. Also am in an irregular marriage (husband is divorced) that I will not leave, nor would I expect my husband to commit to celebacy. I am not expecting to ever be able to receive communion. It is what it is, and I accepted that from the beginning.
@@distaff2935 It's not just 'not being able to receive communion'. First, it means knowing you're in a grave sin and choosing to remain in it. Second, the holy communion is the *sense* if our lives and we Catholics are *privileged* to receive Jesus in such a way. I strongly suggest you pray more about this and ask God to show you the way He wants for _you_ (and your husband). I don't know what it is, but He surely has a solution, if you truly let Him into your life. A solution that would be good and healing for everyone involved. And pray the rosary, for yourself and your husband too. Our Lady knows best how to help and how to intercede for us. God bless.
You can absolutely recieve communion and be in accord with Gods will. Your marriage took place before your conversion to Catholicism. You get a fresh slate when you enter into the church. What you do moving forward can impact your ability to recieve communion if you commit a grave sin and don’t go to confession.
@@joane24you are not in grave sin unless you know it. Sin must be committed knowingly. She got married before becoming a Catholic. It’s irrelevant now.
@mpkropf5062 if God wishes I follow his plan, he can come invite me. . Until then I'll do my best to emulate Jesus's teaching proper to my own time, place, nature and circumstance. .
Many priests seem to have misguided compassion. When a couple approaches to get married, but one of them is divorced, instead of instructing this couple that they are committing adultery and should stop seeing each other, often the priest says, "let's get you an annulment."
We have an annulment factory because we have a marriage factory. So many people are just not prepared to be married and truly have no idea what they are getting into. We are talking about people who have grown up and formed in a society that has been plagued 3-fold: mental health/addiction crisis, inadequate catechesis/formation, stunted emotional growth at an early age due to compulsory education. We are talking about some pretty severe handicaps. We've been fed so many lies by society about what marriage is...being misinformed about it is inescapable to some degree.
When the church allows a divorced person to get married, it is teaching children that, "Daddy can leave us," and there is no security in marriage. Daddy can show up to mass with his "new family" and receive communion; that harms children and that is scandalous. People need to know that marriage is a life-long committment! Allowing a divorced person to marry really dilutes that message.
💯. A Catholic influencer just got divorced within 5 months from an 18 year marriage with kids and to say anything that wasn’t affirming, as in think about this more, was labeled hateful!
This was incredibly timely, and so helpful! Thank you both SO MUCH!
Thank you for this information as someone who is in a broken marriage after 20 years and4 children we live together but in separate rooms share dinner together takes maturity for sure
Wow god bless you 2
7:36 starts to define irregular marriages.
Thank you, Fr. Gregory and Fr. Patrick
Oh goodness, that's SO beautiful. Every Catholic is called to chastity in their state of life. Perfect. ❤
Wow! It is so wild that this is the topic because I'm going through that right now, was married kind of young but he wasn't Catholic and I was but didn't know a whole lot about being Catholic. So when we divorced and I remarried a Catholic I thought we were all good. But now I'm going through this and like my priest says God's timing is perfect❤ although no one at the parish we attend now knows about this. This was a very long time ago so that's different
16:15 So ive discerned my marriage was more contractual than covenental, even journaled it, confessionally. It culminated when Kiddo called the cops on him, hearing objects being thrown all about (incl. in my general direction)... but this state has No Fault divorce, and he's paid ZERO on the mortgage or kiddocare in the last 1.5yrs (he tries gifting $ at times, but i can tell it's from his mommy's acct, so i torched that chk). Question: is it wrong to wish for widowhood? i suspect so, but don't actually see another way out. ... Forgive me Father's, pretty sure i sin.
Hahaha! "...or blah blah blah and thus and such." I love Fr. Pine's lingo so much!
Bless you Fathers now I can just share a video instead of explaining this again and again because it is a top question I get.
From what I have heard, the church in many dioceses actually REQUIRES a civil divorce before moving forward with a case for annulment. I suppose there are practical reasons for that. But would you consider doing a show on annulments to answer these and other questions?
With several diocese at a 100% finding of nullity this is all a moot point. Any marriage can be found invalid. The annulment situation in America micks God
@@Lancer-y5g Some dioceses perhaps but generally about 85% are approved, based on what I have heard and read.
@@DainBramaged00 I think this data was collected before Amoris Laetitia where basically the whole process was streamlined and simplified, leading to a much higher incentive to make it invalid because there is no automatic appeal anymore. In any case accurate and recent statistics are hard to find. It seems that most annulments are just approved though.
Great shout out to the St Paul Centre. Scott Hahn and John Bergsma are The Best on Scripture. What a blessing to the Church. Oh yeah, and Godsplaining is pretty jolly awesome too❤
Thank you so very much Fathers 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thank you. I really enjoyed listening to topics on Marriage life
Excellent explanation! Thank you!
What a timely topic. I was pondering about my married life. I got married outside the Church and for other reason than love or to have children. We are leading separate lives but remain close friends. When i rediscovered/reverted to my Catholic faith and had a conversion, I decided not to remarry or to have any romantic relationship and focus on God and helping people/animals. How can I settle this situation?
Hi, Bethany! You're welcome to email Fr. Gregory your question at gregory.pine@opeast.org. Be assured of our prayers!
Well the good news (not in the sense of disobeying the church...but that you are free to marry) is since you married outside of the Church without dispensation from a bishop to do so...your marriage was not sacramental and it was not valid in the eyes of the church. If you ever meet the one you can get married in the Catholic Church and will have to do a lack of form annulment real short to do so...and of course go to confession now so you can receive the sacraments if you already have not done so.
I’ve been listening to a lot of Gregory Pine as of late and was wondering how one can study vice and virtue, to have an understanding of all the words we don’t here quite as often, that may be touched on by those of the likes of Aquinas.
Maybe any book recommendations, or lectures to watch, or classes to take?
I've been waiting on my annulment for a year now and it might be another year before it is recognized/granted. Can't tell you how many arguments I've gotten into with Prots about it. It's a lot lol
Dear Padres…can a devout practicing Catholic attend an invalid family wedding between 2 Baptized Catholics, one of which is a separated, not yet divorced, but seeking annulment Catholic? The Priest “allegedly” advised them to go ahead and do what they need to do, and then come back to validate the marriage once the annulment is approved.
Catholic marriage is indisoluable and permanent divorce came about through the protestant revolution.
This is a great episode. Fathers, could you do a similar episode tackling the sacramental life and the pastoral untraced that come along with several variations of complications between married couples and birth control? This seems to me to be a much under-attended to especially the complex situations. For example, if a couple wants more children but they have children already and if the mother were to get pregnant it would endanger her life.
We have added that topic to our list of potential, future episodes. Be assured of our prayers!
I have a question from a person entering the church and their significant other is not entering the church, are they sinning if they continue marital relations without receiving the sacrament of matrimony?
What? I’m confused. I married, in civil law only, to a baptized Catholic man. We separated. I converted. To my knowledge, in the eyes of the church, I’m not married.
Was my marriage bound by natural law or was it invalid?
For a while I wanted to marry my husband in church, after I converted and after the separation, because I felt we were already bound by natural law and we have kids, so I felt I needed to do the right thing. But he is abusive, knows no law but his own, knows no truth but the one he creates, and I can’t. I just can’t.
Any help to understand the situation will be appreciated. Thank you.
Your marriage was invalid because he was a Catholic.
I would think that because he was a baptized Catholic and he was not married in the Church, the marriage was invalid.
Your marriage was not bound by natural law since your ex was bound by a higher law, eclieastical law. For his marriage to be valid, it would have needed to happen in the church. A marriage cannot be valid for one party but not the other, so the high law takes precedent.
In ordinary circumstances, it would be ideal for the children to have both parents in the same home, however, it does not sound like that is the case for you.
You were never under an obligation form the church to marry your husband, only to live chastely according to your state in life. This meant if you wished to live as husband and wife, you should have become husband and wife. But you always had the option to separate. In fact, if you were to have sought a marriage in the church solely because you thought that was what you had to do, it might affect your ability to fully give consent.
For instance, when I was going through my marriage prep, I was asked by the priest if I was pregnant, and if I felt outside pressure to get married in the church. If I had been pregnant, the priest would have advised waiting until after the child had been born, as to help ensure the reason I was doing this wasn't just to avoid scandal.
@@vickicebulla419it’s wild. Thank you for the help.
As far as my understanding goes, you're unmarried. Your husband, as baptized Catholic, was obliged to have a church marriage, he didnt. Additionally, if you were unbaptized, there's also the Pauline privilege. Whether or not you'd an additional declaration of the nulity, I can't say for sure, but I don't think so.
In doubt, I'd suggest consulting canon layer, as such cases may be more complicated.
What's sad about some of these holdings are a couple things... a person can be abused and taken advantage of by their spouse and you are essentially damning them to a life of suffering - rendering them a victim of that person for the rest of their lives. Now, because this one person decided to be a horrible human being their victim is kept in punishment due to not wanting to break some rule. Rules are supposed to provide protection. This typically only serves the abusive partner. Also, marriage is also for people to have a sexual outlet for their sexual appetite, otherwise why would Paul say it is better to marry than to burn with passion? So because someone was victimized by a bad person they had married they now have no sexual appetite and cannot find someone to fulfill it with? Do you see how these rules only end up hurting the good people? Because the bad people aren't following them anyway!
Something I find helpful is that “rules “ are not there for us to suffer for no reason , rather it is always for our good. All of the saints suffered in some way . Many in severity….
If a man/woman were to live their entire life as they please, absent of God, and on their deathbed , had true repentance and conversion … did they “win “?
@katrinagiovanni891 but we are supposed to stand for justice for the oppressed and set captives free, not to shrug and say "well it must be for your good." If someone is in a position of authority they are especially to be held accountable for all the times they told women and children to suffer abuse due to rules for marriage or any other thing when they could have set them free from oppression
We all know we watch these videos for the beards. Went to the Holy Face Conference in Wichita and a Fr. Brodsky had a killer beard.
Question: What if a man divorces his wife, who he already has kids with, and then marries another and then has a child? What then should happen according to the church?
I may be corrected if I am wrong but I think they are invited to live as brother and sister . Care for the child but being continent .
They address this around 27:40. The jist of what they say is the children do have a claim to their parents, so it is not advised that he leave, but he is to cease having sexual relations with the woman as she is not his wife in the eyes of the church.
@@vickicebulla419 So basically he wouldn’t have the obligation to his other kids to return to the previous wife?
@Ael-tt6bd oh I guess I miss read the question and didn't see he had kids with his wife as well, my apologies. My understanding is that both kids would have in a sense the right to an intact family, which isn't really possible in this case due to his actions. I think it would then come down to a matter of prudence. He has a responsibility to be a good father to all of his kids, and he definitly should not be sleeping with someone who is not his wife. But if he is not able to reconcil with his wife (if they were to always be fighting and unhappy) I don't think that would really be better for those kids for him to be living with his wife and that family.
I think it would probably be more ideal if he could reconcil with his wife than if he lived as brother and sister with his mistress, but it seems like a situation like this would require more specific and individualized knowledge to know the best way forward.
@ I think I also missed the part about having children with his wife . I concur this is typically a case by case where spiritual direction is needed !
haha, love the Čičmany, Slovakia comment! Beautiful town!
😮kay... This one's getting rewatched! That's all i can say right now 😅
Question: wouldn't an abusive spouse render the marriage null because they didn't meet the formal qualifications of entering into the sacrament in the first place?
Maybe, but until proven null by a legitimate ecclesiastical authority, the marriage is assumed to be valid.
I think that question has a multiple part answer (but I'm not an expert and this is a TH-cam comment section): The nature of the abuse is probably relevant, foreknowledge of that behavior might come into play (whether the behavior was known before they entered into marriage or not), and the reason for the abuse is likely important.
I'm not sure about how the nature of the abuse affects things if it is considered in isolation.
If someone knows before getting married that their future spouse will hit them or verbally abuse them, they entered into the marriage with knowledge. I would guess this would likely not warrant an annulment, since they got married with full knowledge, that is, the abuse was not hidden until after they were married. If the abusive behavior was hidden (he was such a nice guy, then we got married and he started hitting me!), that could possibly matter. That means the spouse did not have full knowledge of who she was marrying.
The reason for the abuse... If it turns out the abusive spouse is just a horrible person, that could result in an annulment or provide evidence an annulment is there. If the abusive spouse, say, had a change in behavior due to external factors (stress, brain injury, illness), that is different. For stress, that needs to be fixed. For injury to the brain? That probably falls under the "better or worse/sickness and health" agreement made for the marriage covenant. Marriage is to provide a helpmate to the spouses. Sometimes helping is incredibly hard.
Disclaimer: none of this means, as they talk about in the episode, that you can't leave the person and separate. That is a discernment you have to make yourself.
An abuse in itself doesn't _render_ marriage null.
There's also nothing saying that being an abusive person from character is a disqualification for marriage. (Sure, it's perhaps unwise to marry such a person knowing that, but there's no disqualification).
However, IF the marriage took placed under coercion, that this would qualify it as null, die to the lack of proper consent.
Also, if a person had, say, been abusive in the past in a disruptive way (e.g. webt to prison, had trouble with the law, or had to undergo therapy for anger issues), but did not disclose that before marriage, that _might_ be grounds for annulment, because, again, it goes to the issue of informer consent.
But the abuse as such doesn't nulify the marriage. Separation might be recommend though, for the safety concerns.
Nullity means that no marriage took place. Nothing that happens after a legit marriage takes place can render a marriage null.
@@kimfleury Exactly! People are so confused. Even if a legal separation is needed for safety, a life-long vow, a promise of "Til death do us part", is not to be broken.
To be honest, I don't understand how it's possible for a Catholic who considers her or himself a believer, to enter into intimate non-marital relationship. I just can't even imagine how one could willfully engage in illicit sexual act, it just feels so morally wrong and evil, and directly against God. How can one gain any pleasure while knowing they're commiting a grave sin against God? I can comprehend someone being so angry and in affect that they commit murder, because they're so blinded by hate and anger, but how can one claim to love or be in love with another person and at the same time close their heart to God? It just feels so strange to me. Maybe someone here have a different experience/feeling, so please chime in. I just can't really comprehend that.
How people engage in every single sin . We’re all fallen creatures broken in many aspects of our lives. This includes sex . It’s easy
@@CarolineOwens-s1hI agree. And we all suffer from concupiscence. Also different people struggle with different capital sins. For some it may be sex, for others pride, sloth etc you know the list .
@CarolineOwens-s1h I don't know, it feels different, is it just me?
As in, it feels death serious, like having a choice to cross a certain threshold, which ought not to be crossed, because it would break something in the heart, I can't explain it and don't really know what it would be that is supposed to break, it just feels like it would. I just don't know how one can gain any pleasure from that, knowing they're commiting mortal sin. Wouldn't this awareness take away any pleasure?
@@joane24 It's just a sin you lucked out on. Are you married? Sometimes we are not given in marriage. Imagine a lifetime of celibacy, touch starved and lonely. It's a hard life for a layperson. Perhaps you live that and still hold strong, that would be a blessing. I had a long struggle in my celibate life. You commit sins I could not imagine either. We need to stay humble. Christ keeps us protected in our hearts from certain sins and permits us to struggle elsewhere. For me, I usually can see how one can fall. I am weak without the grace of God. When He permits the struggle we are all humbled.
@Willow115.34 It's a helpful answer, thank you. That makes sense. I thought everyone would feel that way too and was wondering how then people would commit these sins.
I'm celibate, and while I do sometimes feel lonely, I couldn't in good conscience engage myself physically with someone (which outside of marriage be in an illicit union), it would feel like tearing some invisible veil apart. Also the closer I'd get to potentially romantic situations, the closer I'd feel the presence of God and then my heart naturally goes to Him, but also I immediately feel that following into physical intimacy would be wrong and evil.
Again, thanks for offering a helpful perspective. And I certainly have plenty other sins, though don't dare to say them in open plenum 😅.
We love the beards.
The Church does recognize divorce, sadly, in practice. And they REQUIRE a civil divorce before you can apply for review of the marriage.
I wish the Church tribunals would review the request for annulment 1st and then say this IS/or is not a marriage and you can/can't get it annulled.
Instead of divorce 1st. It does not make sense.
The church does recognize divorce, sadly. Not technically, but annulments are offered and sometimes encouraged, rather than reminding people that life-long vows are to be respected, even if a legal separation is needed for safety.
@mrs.marydonahue5236
@jeme7339
This is only since after Vatican II. In short the secular definition of marriage was de facto accepted despite the contrary constant teaching of the magisterium that says that only the sacramental or natural marriage, not the civic marriage matters.
Hey Father Gregory, we are allergic to the same things, including myself, obviously I'm not allergic to you and you're not allergic to me, but I'm also allergic to myself😂 So glad you're not allergic to horses, what an awful life that would be, although it might not be as bad for you as it would be for me😂❤
Still such a sticky thing - my sister in law, devout Catholic, was married for 25+ years to a philandering loser. She tried hard to keep the marriage together despite this for the sake of the 5 kids. He asked for a divorce and finally after years of abuse and cheating, she'd had enough. Met my brother, also a devout Catholic, never married. They went the annulment route, counseling, etc. but the two parish priests and the archdiocese made it very difficult and complicated. It was a hard time. They finally married outside the church, (by my Dad, who was Mayor and had authority to do a civil). Honestly, 2 finer people you will never meet. Daily mass, but never receive Communion. Married 28+ years now. The grown kids think of my brother as their father.
"Til death do us part" does not get negated if a spouse then chooses to behave badly and even if a legal separation is needed.
I'm sorry to say, but not even adultery excuses divorce. Your sister in law is still married to that philandering loser, and will remain married to him until either dies. She can go through a secular ceremony, but a Catholic marriage cannot be dissolved.
That loser will pay the price dearly for such disgusting sins, and is in some way guilty of his wife's adultery, but that wife is still committing adultery. There's a reason she can't partake in communion.
@@jeme7339 Unless an archdioceses says it can. This can be very arbitrary
'Like' for the beard it is!
Oh, I'm allergic to horses. Thought I'd found a friend 😢😂
🤣
Where's the beef?
Scripture does not condone second marriages after divorce.
Jesus said “ anyone who marries a divorced person commits adultery!” I would believe Jesus above any other person!
Jane Eyre
I struggle so much with understanding what to do with my marital situation. I fell away from the faith and married outside the church. My husband then abandoned me. Because my marriage was never valid, my priest explained that I'm technically unmarried and thus free to marry if that ever became an option in my life. Especially since I consented to a civil divorce to protect what belongings I have left from my ex. I would normally say that I trust the authority of the Church, but I struggle with this fear of "what if they're wrong and God does still see me as married and I would spend the rest of my life in adultery if I did ever marry?"
@@owlintrenchcoat Don't worry, trust the Church! The Peter has the keys.
We are allowed, morally, to trust the judgement of the Church in these matters. If you have the authorities at church investigate your marriage, and they say it wasn't sacramentally valid, you can accept their determination and be morally free to marry in the church, if they say so. God would not hold it against you if you were obedient to the Church, if you are honest with the information you give them about your civil marriage.
I have same problem,with my situation cause my husband was abusive,I console to my spiritual director and said God gave us wisdom if we're in danger we leave the spouse...I wanted to get married again,but I'm afraid I might commit adultery and the last thing I don't want to do...I'm separated for 30 years,I'm divorced by law .
Hello, there! If you'd like, you are welcome to email Fr. Gregory at gregory.pine@opeast.org for clarification on your situation. Be assured of our prayers!
If you vowed to be true to your husband for the rest of your lives, it is reasonable to do so.
Are these Catholic or orthodox priests? They are laughing a lot and makes me assume they are celibate and Catholic.
Orthodox priests are married and always anxious
This is the one reason I am not able to become Catholic. I was married to my first wife in a protestant ceremony where we both were baptized. We got divorced, and I remarried a woman who was baptized as Catholic but never practiced the Catholic faith, was married several times before, but none of which were in a Catholic ceremony. Our marriage was a civil ceremony. It's not possible or practical to convince my new wife that we have to live as brother and sister the rest of our lives. That's the only possible way to become Catholic for me.
@@michaelgartman4320 If I may, that sounds like a cliche advice, but pray the rosary! Our Lady can intercede wonders for us, don't give up hope. God can find a good solution for any situation, there's no hopeless situations.
@ I've not spoken to a priest. I've researched and my understanding is that a Protestant marriage is sacramental if both parties were baptized
You have to make your case that all your previous marriages were invalid
Reach out to me brother. I can help you with the paperwork. It can be done and you can be validly married in the Catholic Church. Especially with the new rules from the Vatican.
@@javageek123 "New rules" should never dismiss life-long vows.
RCIA student here. Also am in an irregular marriage (husband is divorced) that I will not leave, nor would I expect my husband to commit to celebacy. I am not expecting to ever be able to receive communion. It is what it is, and I accepted that from the beginning.
@@distaff2935 It's not just 'not being able to receive communion'.
First, it means knowing you're in a grave sin and choosing to remain in it.
Second, the holy communion is the *sense* if our lives and we Catholics are *privileged* to receive Jesus in such a way.
I strongly suggest you pray more about this and ask God to show you the way He wants for _you_ (and your husband). I don't know what it is, but He surely has a solution, if you truly let Him into your life. A solution that would be good and healing for everyone involved. And pray the rosary, for yourself and your husband too. Our Lady knows best how to help and how to intercede for us. God bless.
It's better to confess and all sins will be forgiven and never commit it again ❤ God is merciful. And you can receive Jesus ❤
From a non-Catholic: why can YOU not receive Communion? Didn’t HE divorce you for no reason, so you’re a helpless victim?!?
You can absolutely recieve communion and be in accord with Gods will. Your marriage took place before your conversion to Catholicism. You get a fresh slate when you enter into the church. What you do moving forward can impact your ability to recieve communion if you commit a grave sin and don’t go to confession.
@@joane24you are not in grave sin unless you know it. Sin must be committed knowingly. She got married before becoming a Catholic. It’s irrelevant now.
I know more people who are happy without the church than without sex
Fleeting . We are here for but a moment and the amount of sex you have will mean Absoutlely nothing one day . 🛐
@katrinagiovanni891 perhaps however it is rational to choose the angel you know over the one you don't. .
@mpkropf5062 if God wishes I follow his plan, he can come invite me. . Until then I'll do my best to emulate Jesus's teaching proper to my own time, place, nature and circumstance. .
95+% of annulments granted by the church are invalid. Sorry.
Many priests seem to have misguided compassion. When a couple approaches to get married, but one of them is divorced, instead of instructing this couple that they are committing adultery and should stop seeing each other, often the priest says, "let's get you an annulment."
We have an annulment factory because we have a marriage factory. So many people are just not prepared to be married and truly have no idea what they are getting into. We are talking about people who have grown up and formed in a society that has been plagued 3-fold: mental health/addiction crisis, inadequate catechesis/formation, stunted emotional growth at an early age due to compulsory education. We are talking about some pretty severe handicaps. We've been fed so many lies by society about what marriage is...being misinformed about it is inescapable to some degree.
You don't know that. That is such a slap in the face to victim survivors of domestic violence.
Jesus never taught Annulment! But he did teach that divorce and remarriage is adultery and they will not enter heaven.
@@rosalind3053 Violence does not nullify a marriage, even if a legal separation is needed for safety.
Anyway I find it somehow funny… two friars talking about marriage…😂what could you possibly, seriously say about it?
Should have more respect for our time. First six minutes a total waste.
bro this is a podcast, not a presentation
@ronquinlan748 That must have been rough to have had someone tie you to your chair and force you to watch something that you didn’t want to watch!
Thanks for the heads up. I fast forwarded.
It's just the usual banter, and I'm always here for it!