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I drank on Xanax one night. Blacked out. Woke up in the police station and thought, geez that was a big one… I go to court a month later and turned out I was walking down the street with my gel blaster and cops drew their fire arms.. I’m lucky off my head me didn’t want play gel ball with them..
Oh yeah, benzos and alcohol are an awful idea. I woke up in the drunk tank at a police station in Melbourne after taking valium one night. Apparently I asked a cop to come into the cell and 1 v 1 me. Had to go to court for it but it was dismissed. Certainly not my proudest moment.
I once got pulled over and bc I had alcohol on my breath they needed me to come back for another test as they didn’t have the roadside one. It was 0.000 as I’m just a bartender who has tasted a drink just before I left. However I have been a daily smoker for yearssss, they said they had do to a drug test which included cannabis. It came back negative, I was absolutely shitting bricks the whole time.
One night in college after a bar crawl a friend and were smoking outside and I accidentally burned him with my cigarette. Drunk me felt so bad that I insisted that he burn me back so we could be even. He did so (very hesitantly) and I proceeded to tell him that he was "doing it wrong," snatched his cigarette from him and burned a huge hole in the back of my hand. I still have the scar to this day
I had never ever heard of psychedelics before. I had heard of acid/LSD, but never psychedelics or about other psychedelics. Then, in my drunken stupor, I grab the glass pipe from a friend thinking it's weed. It wasn't. It really wasn't. I was not prepared for DMT. But it left me curious.
I was on Xan, morphine, coke, weed, booze and took one of those public EScooters downtown to get a snack, and then came acroos police raiding a house and had a very nice conversation with one of the cops after asking him for directions because I couldnt find my way in my condition. He wished me a safe ride....
drunk af middle of winter at the station my mate gets on a country link train because they were heated and promptly fell asleep woke up 3 hours later on the way to adelaide lol we just left him on the train ...later that night someone had the grand idea to go to kirribilli house and call the pm a cunt ...we yelled for like 30 mins and went home
Went bowling for a friend's uni farewell. I had way too much goon, could barely stand, and threw the bowling ball backwards, nearly hitting my friend. I got a strike somewhere in there, though.
I blacked out on xanax, and i dont remember getting on my motorbike. But i mustve proceeded to ride on the highway from south bris to north and all i really remember is waking up to my shoe eating the guard railing while travelling over 100kmh. In pulled over and saw my toe poking out of my left shoe, i dont remember anything before or after all of this. Ruined a nice pair of shoes and i dont know how i managed to not crash, they need to sign me to MotoGP
I passed an alcohol test with 0.0 almost immediately after drinking a liter of czech beer. I even told them that i had two beers, and they just laughed and said "maybe they gave you alcohol free" and left me be... (I know it was not alcohol free, because I drank alcohol free beers from that hotel, too, and the flavour was very different)
Have you been drunk before? Nope. Heard the stories of people doing stupid shit while drunk I was scared to do it when younger. Now that Im older... Im REALLY scared to get drunk... I will 100% end up in jail. XD
Yeah I have passed a roadside drug test against all odds. I put it down to not brushing my teeth for three days and my tongue was solid cheese. 🤣 I apologized to the officer doing the swab about that.. 🤷♂
I love the way Jordan feels the need to add multiple tidbits from his favourite table-top wargame every video. If I took a shot every time he did then I'd have a story for this video too...
Currently hungover after a 3 month sobirety streak, and I am very much feeling "I will never drink again!", when I know, at some point, I will drink again. It's like pringles: once you pop, you can't stop... man, I could go for some pringles right about now
I try and catch the eels in the botanical gardens sober. Give them a pet everytime I walk through. There are multiple videos throughout my friend groups of me petting them 😅
Oh my days I'm a Muslim and you genuinely left me with my mouth open with that intro ahahhaa! I remember when you did those self help shows last year I was the only hijabi in the room! You should totally do those shows again 😌
Holy hell you just took me a little back with that intro. I used to work at a college cafeteria and the sheer amount of stuff that went on is noteworthy, you should absolutely ask college/university cafeteria workers to confess their sins. There were Muslims at my college, I have a story related to that: they DID regularly have a halal option that the chefs would put aside in the warmer for them which I would go and get and serve to them when they came up to get it, just like every student that had some particular dietary need/allergy. The only thing is: half the time it seemed like I CARED more about their souls than they did. The amount of times I caught them nearly spooning a dish onto their plates that had meat cooked in it that was definitely NOT halal was far too many times man, a lot of students just don't read... though that problem fixed itself for the most part after the TV screens with menus were installed in the cafeteria. I swear to God (or rather Allah) it's like, something that I noticed about people after working there, is that signage that ISN'T on a screen just doesn't exist for most people, their brains filter it out a lot as if it's in another plane of existence, unless it was also right in front of their face on little label holders (which Monica was SUPPOSED to print/set out and DID NOT almost half the time)... Some of the Muslim students STILL would almost eat the not-halal stuff even after the screens went up though, I actually cared enough to warn them but I know my coworkers didn't GAF lol 😂
Another story to tempt you to do a cafeteria workers confess sins vid: during peak covid, we switched to bottled drinks, and there were lots of students with meal plans that lived on campus... part of that is free drink refills of fountain drinks. But since we stopped fountain drinks for the time being, we (well, management) extended that on meal plans to the packaged drinks, where normally packaged drinks they would have to pay for. It was expected that they would take what they could reasonably consume. Of course since honor systems mean nothing in America, after this change we regularly caught guys stuffing as many water bottles or sometimes soda cans into their pockets and hoodies as they could, filling them like Christmas stockings. It was as if they were looting rare and expensive elixirs. They were really acting like they were gaming the system... for shits sake you can get a case of water bottles for like 5 or 6 bucks. And I say GUYS because it was MALE STUDENTS doing this!!! I never caught a single female student exhibiting this embarrassing behavior 😂😂😂 At first we just didn't know what to do because management didn't set a limit. We weren't allowed to enforce anything that management didn't specifically set in stone. Even the head chef couldn't (he was actually the one in charge of us, "management" was like a fart in the wind for all we could see half the time). So, for a while there... a good number of guys were treating the packaged drinks like a mario coin block until a hard limit was set... I just don't know why it took nearly _two weeks_ to be implemented 💀
@@yazimtariq I'm a Christian so I'm not sure about the merits part but, I respect their want and need to not eat such things. I actually really don't want people to go to hell if they can help it, it's something I think about a great deal. I pray a lot about it, seeing the state the world is in and such, and I feel compelled to try to be kinder in ordinary circumstances as much as possible. Even if I'm not sure of whether merits are real or not, I still respect the idea of it to people who hold those beliefs, there's just no reason for me not to. And of course I'm still learning and growing in being a better person in general, I have some weaknesses still, but I'm getting better with time as I spend more time with the Lord. Thank you for your thoughts ^w^
@@MissusAnon I was joking about the hell bit, not joking about God loving you and caring you for you care about others, when they don't care for themselves...
So I was riding back home on my bike during the early morning hours and I was wasted! I thought better stay off the main roads to avoid potential cops and just as I rounded the corner into a quiet dark alley a police car stopped in front of me. I quickly pulled out my headphones, one of the cops got out, took one step towards me, said that doesn't look like the guy and they pissed off before I could ask them anything. I put in my headphones again and continued on my merry way. SECOND POLICE CAR materialises out of thin air, cop gets out and gets closer to me, already mumbling something like description doesn't fit. When I asked him what was even going on he got hit by a powerful wave of alcohol (been drinking pernod all night also a buncha joints) and actually turned away in disgust and did a short dry heave. Turns out some burglars had broken into a house and cops went crazy trying to catch them. Then the second police car also pissed off. The only bad part about that night was a neighbour who kept music running into the early morning to scare away the burglars even more.
Drank half a carton and went surfing. At midnight. It was mad. The full moon was enough to clearly illuminate the whitewash and immediate surrounds, but beyond 30 or so metres was just pitch black. I've only done one thing dumber than this, and that stays off socials.
Australia day 2016 - went out for a few drinks, which turned into me drinking 18 tube cans (the 500ml ones) of apple cider. Stumbling around in Melbourne CBD, I found a firework about the size of a mini coke can (the 250ml ones) I thought it was a great idea to set this off in an alleyway. The firework wouldnt light so i picked it up to light the wick. Being that I was preposterously drunk, I did not let go in time and ended up melting the skin off my right thumb and had third degree burns. I then thought hmmm yes I need to get to hospital. To remove the melted skin, the doctor had to give me NOS to numb the pain. About halfway through my skin being cut off I yelled HEY! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO STEAL MY SKIN!!!!!!! GET YOUR OWN!!! this doctor was perplexed by this comment at first but then burst out laughing Long story short i got arrested for setting off explosives and had to go to court 😂
The internet led me so far into its dark alleyway i thought goon was something far, far dirtier than what our culture has used the term rightfully for.
Not sure which story is more impressive so let me know. Been drunk on a New Years with some mates, we went on a night time walk, found 2 shopping carts 2 large chairs and 2 traffic cones. Cop car goes past then comes back around, tells us off and says to put the cones down. They didn't care about anything else. We later found 2 more cones. 2nd one: Again got drunk, this time we had the genius idea of putting a shopping cart in a tree in a nearby school. The shopping cart stayed there for 7 months. It was only taken down 1 month into terraforming.
I have been drunk enough to consider a tattoo, but that was more than 20 years ago, and thankfully a mate pointed out that it was my round, and I didn't have the cash to get the necessary 10 pints and whatever fucking awful thing drunk me might have chosen (with free hepatitis И or something), and drunk me often chooses badly. But on this occasion, I chose sweet sweet beer.
I smoked weed all day and ate half a seed cake I made from a few Oz of leaf I then punched 2 cones I'd been smoking all day and got in the car drive to pick up a friend from work and got pulled over and drug tested after only driving 5 mins down the Rd I passed the drug test 🤷🤷🤷
You were reading the one about The poop in line for the bathroom. You pretended to crap your pants. I laughed and spilled hot coffee on my chest. Can i sue?
8:13 this gentleman appears to have dodged the fine but if this combination of habits is normal I fear he won't dodge a few real rough chats it doctor's offices.
Not watching any of this video till someone gives me the time stamp of the 'sex worker for a night story' and even when I finally watch that part, I'm still not watching the rest of this video...
As a 31 yr old alcoholic I haven't don't any thing I've overly regretted, yes some bad decisions but nothing terrible. Shit that's got me in trouble but worked out in my favor like drunk texting the manager so they quit but I run the restaurant better then they ever could
I have a lot of respect for you Mr Shanks. As an alcoholic, it’s difficult watching this in my TH-cam feed. Please be respectful of people that suffer from addiction. I’ve been to your live show and you’re truely an entertainer. All the best Jordan.
Me clueless asf. doing exploit with minimum of 600k inventory. about to kill myself :) (stolen valor but seriously imagine most of your networth essentially just slashed infornt of you for a year)
Not Muslim. Extremely pale white Swedish man here. 28 and have never been drunk. And don't drink. Nothing to do with religion. Just never wanted to. But that said. I am also Autistic! Make off that what you want.
I am also autistic, and very hungover this morning.. let's just say, you don't know sensory hell until you wake up very, very hungover after a few glasses of wine and only just remembering it was more intense because of my antidepressants. Never drink. It only increases the chances of having a meltdown
Get tickets to my live show here: www.friendlyjordies.com/live-show
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I'll get one when you get your Warhammer tat
Saliva drug tests are not 100% accurate, especially when it comes to THC.
Yay you used my vomit fire story 🤣
Don't forget the Mormons, they don't drink
I’ve discovered lurking is far more fulfilling than sharing.
Yes
CAN CONFIRM! 👋🏼 Heyyyo! HI! Lifelong lurker, here.. this is 250% TRUE
I drank on Xanax one night. Blacked out. Woke up in the police station and thought, geez that was a big one…
I go to court a month later and turned out I was walking down the street with my gel blaster and cops drew their fire arms..
I’m lucky off my head me didn’t want play gel ball with them..
Oh yeah, benzos and alcohol are an awful idea. I woke up in the drunk tank at a police station in Melbourne after taking valium one night. Apparently I asked a cop to come into the cell and 1 v 1 me. Had to go to court for it but it was dismissed.
Certainly not my proudest moment.
😂😂😂
Several cautionary tales kept me from 90% of vices.
Did you eat it
@@curioustoseethefuture3378
Not "culinary tales," cautionary ones!
pussy
ah so 10% you could not resist
Pussy
The guy who used books as armour to fight a roo... that's some Ork energy right there. Also a good use for the Heresy books.
I once got pulled over and bc I had alcohol on my breath they needed me to come back for another test as they didn’t have the roadside one. It was 0.000 as I’m just a bartender who has tasted a drink just before I left.
However I have been a daily smoker for yearssss, they said they had do to a drug test which included cannabis. It came back negative, I was absolutely shitting bricks the whole time.
One night in college after a bar crawl a friend and were smoking outside and I accidentally burned him with my cigarette. Drunk me felt so bad that I insisted that he burn me back so we could be even. He did so (very hesitantly) and I proceeded to tell him that he was "doing it wrong," snatched his cigarette from him and burned a huge hole in the back of my hand. I still have the scar to this day
Cut my palm drunk last night. Got stitches today and got stitched up watching this 😂
I had never ever heard of psychedelics before. I had heard of acid/LSD, but never psychedelics or about other psychedelics. Then, in my drunken stupor, I grab the glass pipe from a friend thinking it's weed. It wasn't. It really wasn't. I was not prepared for DMT.
But it left me curious.
Username checks out
Lsd and mushrooms are psychedelics.... you mean you'd never heard of DMT
4 wife’s but can’t drink how are you meant to deal with that
They pick on eachother.
Realest comment of all time.
4 wife’s but can’t have a blt? 0 sense
Get high on other stuff duh...
40k games of league
I was on Xan, morphine, coke, weed, booze and took one of those public EScooters downtown to get a snack, and then came acroos police raiding a house and had a very nice conversation with one of the cops after asking him for directions because I couldnt find my way in my condition. He wished me a safe ride....
Yes Jordan I have been drunk before
are you drunk now?
What are you wearing
@@JD-wi2kg😂😂😂
His man keenie😂😂😂😂😂
it makes my life better to hear Jordan Shanks yelling "MONEY!!!" in an unhinged manner at the end of a video
drunk af middle of winter at the station my mate gets on a country link train because they were heated and promptly fell asleep woke up 3 hours later on the way to adelaide lol we just left him on the train ...later that night someone had the grand idea to go to kirribilli house and call the pm a cunt ...we yelled for like 30 mins and went home
I don’t need to be drunk to do stupid things, though it does help, and provide an excuse.
I think that is just called being Aussie mate 😂🤙
9:32 thank you for telling my story on your channel, it's an honour 🙏
May I ask... why? What made you want to fight a roo?
@tinymoogle watching too much anime/ movies as a child
This is just to much gold to even be golden anymore. Thank you
Went bowling for a friend's uni farewell. I had way too much goon, could barely stand, and threw the bowling ball backwards, nearly hitting my friend.
I got a strike somewhere in there, though.
did everyone jump up like in wii sports?
I blacked out on xanax, and i dont remember getting on my motorbike. But i mustve proceeded to ride on the highway from south bris to north and all i really remember is waking up to my shoe eating the guard railing while travelling over 100kmh. In pulled over and saw my toe poking out of my left shoe, i dont remember anything before or after all of this. Ruined a nice pair of shoes and i dont know how i managed to not crash, they need to sign me to MotoGP
Raised hands with a Roo 😂 No hope.
I passed an alcohol test with 0.0 almost immediately after drinking a liter of czech beer. I even told them that i had two beers, and they just laughed and said "maybe they gave you alcohol free" and left me be... (I know it was not alcohol free, because I drank alcohol free beers from that hotel, too, and the flavour was very different)
Have you been drunk before?
Nope. Heard the stories of people doing stupid shit while drunk I was scared to do it when younger.
Now that Im older... Im REALLY scared to get drunk... I will 100% end up in jail.
XD
I be your number two if you need a chaperone.
you should become an alcoholic, its a great lifestyle.
It's true, one glass of white wine will lead you directly to jail
Pussy
😂😂😂😂 soft people everywhere I look 😂😂😂
Yeah I have passed a roadside drug test against all odds. I put it down to not brushing my teeth for three days and my tongue was solid cheese. 🤣 I apologized to the officer doing the swab about that.. 🤷♂
I love the way Jordan feels the need to add multiple tidbits from his favourite table-top wargame every video. If I took a shot every time he did then I'd have a story for this video too...
Currently hungover after a 3 month sobirety streak, and I am very much feeling "I will never drink again!", when I know, at some point, I will drink again. It's like pringles: once you pop, you can't stop... man, I could go for some pringles right about now
I try and catch the eels in the botanical gardens sober. Give them a pet everytime I walk through. There are multiple videos throughout my friend groups of me petting them 😅
Brother,stating dumb is being to kind. Jordan you are being so nice.
Oh my days I'm a Muslim and you genuinely left me with my mouth open with that intro ahahhaa! I remember when you did those self help shows last year I was the only hijabi in the room! You should totally do those shows again 😌
I want to make it perfectly plain, I did not wake up in a hotel with BigAlexgator, okay? No more questions thank you, no more questions.
the Weed test story is more a representation on how the test is actually widely inaccurate.
Holy hell you just took me a little back with that intro. I used to work at a college cafeteria and the sheer amount of stuff that went on is noteworthy, you should absolutely ask college/university cafeteria workers to confess their sins. There were Muslims at my college, I have a story related to that: they DID regularly have a halal option that the chefs would put aside in the warmer for them which I would go and get and serve to them when they came up to get it, just like every student that had some particular dietary need/allergy.
The only thing is: half the time it seemed like I CARED more about their souls than they did. The amount of times I caught them nearly spooning a dish onto their plates that had meat cooked in it that was definitely NOT halal was far too many times man, a lot of students just don't read... though that problem fixed itself for the most part after the TV screens with menus were installed in the cafeteria. I swear to God (or rather Allah) it's like, something that I noticed about people after working there, is that signage that ISN'T on a screen just doesn't exist for most people, their brains filter it out a lot as if it's in another plane of existence, unless it was also right in front of their face on little label holders (which Monica was SUPPOSED to print/set out and DID NOT almost half the time)...
Some of the Muslim students STILL would almost eat the not-halal stuff even after the screens went up though, I actually cared enough to warn them but I know my coworkers didn't GAF lol 😂
Another story to tempt you to do a cafeteria workers confess sins vid: during peak covid, we switched to bottled drinks, and there were lots of students with meal plans that lived on campus... part of that is free drink refills of fountain drinks. But since we stopped fountain drinks for the time being, we (well, management) extended that on meal plans to the packaged drinks, where normally packaged drinks they would have to pay for. It was expected that they would take what they could reasonably consume.
Of course since honor systems mean nothing in America, after this change we regularly caught guys stuffing as many water bottles or sometimes soda cans into their pockets and hoodies as they could, filling them like Christmas stockings. It was as if they were looting rare and expensive elixirs. They were really acting like they were gaming the system... for shits sake you can get a case of water bottles for like 5 or 6 bucks. And I say GUYS because it was MALE STUDENTS doing this!!! I never caught a single female student exhibiting this embarrassing behavior 😂😂😂
At first we just didn't know what to do because management didn't set a limit. We weren't allowed to enforce anything that management didn't specifically set in stone. Even the head chef couldn't (he was actually the one in charge of us, "management" was like a fart in the wind for all we could see half the time). So, for a while there... a good number of guys were treating the packaged drinks like a mario coin block until a hard limit was set... I just don't know why it took nearly _two weeks_ to be implemented 💀
@@MissusAnon It is like some people are hypnotised
Your an amazing person. God will grant you the merits and let them rot in hell. UwU
@@yazimtariq I'm a Christian so I'm not sure about the merits part but, I respect their want and need to not eat such things. I actually really don't want people to go to hell if they can help it, it's something I think about a great deal. I pray a lot about it, seeing the state the world is in and such, and I feel compelled to try to be kinder in ordinary circumstances as much as possible. Even if I'm not sure of whether merits are real or not, I still respect the idea of it to people who hold those beliefs, there's just no reason for me not to. And of course I'm still learning and growing in being a better person in general, I have some weaknesses still, but I'm getting better with time as I spend more time with the Lord. Thank you for your thoughts ^w^
@@MissusAnon I was joking about the hell bit, not joking about God loving you and caring you for you care about others, when they don't care for themselves...
The amount of WH40k references in this video pleases me greatly.
Brisbane local here and that eel is a legend.
I can say with personal experience, don't get blackout drunk and try roofing the next morning. Glad it was a one floor show lol.
So I was riding back home on my bike during the early morning hours and I was wasted! I thought better stay off the main roads to avoid potential cops and just as I rounded the corner into a quiet dark alley a police car stopped in front of me. I quickly pulled out my headphones, one of the cops got out, took one step towards me, said that doesn't look like the guy and they pissed off before I could ask them anything. I put in my headphones again and continued on my merry way. SECOND POLICE CAR materialises out of thin air, cop gets out and gets closer to me, already mumbling something like description doesn't fit. When I asked him what was even going on he got hit by a powerful wave of alcohol (been drinking pernod all night also a buncha joints) and actually turned away in disgust and did a short dry heave. Turns out some burglars had broken into a house and cops went crazy trying to catch them. Then the second police car also pissed off. The only bad part about that night was a neighbour who kept music running into the early morning to scare away the burglars even more.
If the Muslims don't drink, how come we can't out skitz them.
because they have 4 wives
Because they drink behind closed doors, knew a bloke that stayed in saudi for work a number of years, the homebrew scene was great.
Drank half a carton and went surfing. At midnight. It was mad. The full moon was enough to clearly illuminate the whitewash and immediate surrounds, but beyond 30 or so metres was just pitch black. I've only done one thing dumber than this, and that stays off socials.
I swear if my story isn’t here I’m gonna be pissed
8:35 that stoner/crackhead impression was incredible, wtf
2:51 STOP TEASING US!!! BRING BACK WARHAMMER VIDEOS!
When I was in the army in Darwin we had this word. It was “CRUNK” a combination crazy and drunk.
Stuff happened in the barracks!
For the emperor, brother.
Top 4 on the confess their Sins saga
Spicy 😂😂😂😂
Australia day 2016 - went out for a few drinks, which turned into me drinking 18 tube cans (the 500ml ones) of apple cider.
Stumbling around in Melbourne CBD, I found a firework about the size of a mini coke can (the 250ml ones)
I thought it was a great idea to set this off in an alleyway. The firework wouldnt light so i picked it up to light the wick. Being that I was preposterously drunk, I did not let go in time and ended up melting the skin off my right thumb and had third degree burns.
I then thought hmmm yes I need to get to hospital.
To remove the melted skin, the doctor had to give me NOS to numb the pain. About halfway through my skin being cut off I yelled HEY! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO STEAL MY SKIN!!!!!!! GET YOUR OWN!!!
this doctor was perplexed by this comment at first but then burst out laughing
Long story short i got arrested for setting off explosives and had to go to court 😂
I got a hypothesis, alcohol makes our brain go back to cave man days therefore we want fire 😂
The internet led me so far into its dark alleyway i thought goon was something far, far dirtier than what our culture has used the term rightfully for.
How can drinks or drugs drive?
4 wives comes with 4 mother in laws
Not if they're sisters
It’s not a Jordan Shanks video if he doesn’t get his shirt off
Ah yes... "I'm not gay, but $20 dollars is $20 dollars"
Not sure which story is more impressive so let me know.
Been drunk on a New Years with some mates, we went on a night time walk, found 2 shopping carts 2 large chairs and 2 traffic cones. Cop car goes past then comes back around, tells us off and says to put the cones down. They didn't care about anything else. We later found 2 more cones.
2nd one:
Again got drunk, this time we had the genius idea of putting a shopping cart in a tree in a nearby school. The shopping cart stayed there for 7 months. It was only taken down 1 month into terraforming.
Funniest thing is it actually is the year of the dragon…
I vomited on a public barbecue and cooked it once
me too :)
but did you eat it?
And that shit behaviour is the reason you never use public BBQs.
I have been drunk enough to consider a tattoo, but that was more than 20 years ago, and thankfully a mate pointed out that it was my round, and I didn't have the cash to get the necessary 10 pints and whatever fucking awful thing drunk me might have chosen (with free hepatitis И or something), and drunk me often chooses badly.
But on this occasion, I chose sweet sweet beer.
Jordan, if you haven't been drunk enough to at least consider getting tattooed, then you just haven't been trying hard enough, mate!!
When are we getting a warhammer 40k battle report bro?
After he gets the tat he promised us he would get when he got a million subs
@@jasonotto9126 Anyone know what chapter astartes he plays? A Blood Angels tat would be awesome, but knowing Jordan he probably plays Ultramarines...
@@Mentocthemindtaker he's into the Tau. They remind him of Labor of course 😂
@@jasonotto9126 😂
@@Mentocthemindtaker it's true. Go back a few years he gets a few models and then drives to a store to paint with a dude that is real good.
citrus can ruin drug swab tests
A better me starts today.
Bread 👍
I smoked weed all day and ate half a seed cake I made from a few Oz of leaf I then punched 2 cones I'd been smoking all day and got in the car drive to pick up a friend from work and got pulled over and drug tested after only driving 5 mins down the Rd I passed the drug test 🤷🤷🤷
You were reading the one about The poop in line for the bathroom. You pretended to crap your pants. I laughed and spilled hot coffee on my chest. Can i sue?
Ow it hurts
Hell yeah
How didn’t it make the news 😂
What is your advice for somebody who wants to go into comedy?
Fuck it jsut do it?
Drug tests don’t check for weed.
Let's go!!
Almost every Muslim I know drinks alcohol. Religion isn't a cure for hypocrisy lol
That’s really unfortunate. Pretty much every Muslim I know abstains.
@@Jalanko13 My experience too mate.
I reckon most of these are bullshit, except for the guy that shat his pants.
8:13 this gentleman appears to have dodged the fine but if this combination of habits is normal I fear he won't dodge a few real rough chats it doctor's offices.
🤣 I Love Rocking Tin Roofs 💪🏻 p.s a Tennis 🎾 Racket Rely sends them 🪨
When is the usury video dropping?
o boi o boi
It is the year of the dragon btw
Not watching any of this video till someone gives me the time stamp of the 'sex worker for a night story' and even when I finally watch that part, I'm still not watching the rest of this video...
You guys don’t want to hear stories from my old days 😂
Forgetting Straight Edge people Jordy
25 Years Sober
@@jackwright8593 nice. I'm currently hungover after 3 months of sobriety
As a 31 yr old alcoholic I haven't don't any thing I've overly regretted, yes some bad decisions but nothing terrible. Shit that's got me in trouble but worked out in my favor like drunk texting the manager so they quit but I run the restaurant better then they ever could
I’m a muslim and wanna know if not being able to get drunk and never having the desire cuz i never drank before is sicknasty or not to you guys
It can be very enjoyable, but it can also go sideways very quickly. Not missing that much honestly
If you haven't had alcohol before keep it that way
@@Rhuzzy_ ight then
11:05 Barack is the most attractive person in that photo.
When I get drunk I just want to go to sleep 😴 I never did anything crazy other than vomit or cry.
Now Muslim, just don't want to do any of this shit.
I don't drink, but i"m addicted to energy drinks.
Same I drink 2 cans of white monster a day😭
I can confirm I’m drunk and muslim
0:30 no mormons?
Please review the office
but i did love the video.
Bro you forgot the mormons!
You mean morons
Was the sex worker one a male or female?
LOL Mormons Don't Drink Either
The losers. They don't drink, but they do gamble with their afterlife
I have a lot of respect for you Mr Shanks. As an alcoholic, it’s difficult watching this in my TH-cam feed. Please be respectful of people that suffer from addiction. I’ve been to your live show and you’re truely an entertainer. All the best Jordan.
Me clueless asf. doing exploit with minimum of 600k inventory. about to kill myself :) (stolen valor but seriously imagine most of your networth essentially just slashed infornt of you for a year)
Jorman ahangs
Yeaaah....
We can have 4 wives! Big win that makes up for the no alcohol rule....
Not Muslim. Extremely pale white Swedish man here. 28 and have never been drunk. And don't drink. Nothing to do with religion. Just never wanted to.
But that said. I am also Autistic!
Make off that what you want.
I am also autistic, and very hungover this morning.. let's just say, you don't know sensory hell until you wake up very, very hungover after a few glasses of wine and only just remembering it was more intense because of my antidepressants.
Never drink. It only increases the chances of having a meltdown
1 minute ago bruh
First
What is with the 40k references?
2th
13
omg no views
But there are virws
What is this channels purpose? Or the others?
Can we realign and get more actual political journalism, self help and less of this. Atleast for a bit.
But where would be the fun in that? It's a luck of the draw