Never went to therapy but have been told that I'm self aware by friends and stuff, and could not understand what they meant. It's making sense now. This year has been the worst in my life, I barely made it and it was because of the gaslighting that my experience is typical. I explained myself multiple times throughout life to friends and family and no one ever heard me. I feel very lucky to have people on TH-cam explaining what autism is or I would likely have not figured out what the heck is up. Thanks!
Thearpy is hard work ,expensive, and sometimes I felt my thearpists seem not that interested. I finished up some short term thearpy this year. I got out of it that I need to be my true self and let people take it or leave it. I'm sorry for some of the feelings you have gone through with autism . I believe you deserve a nice future ahead of you. Thank you for sharing what you have gone through with your audience.
Yeah, I get what you mean. I’m glad to hear you got what you needed. I aspire to have that perspective someday soon. Thank you for your kind words and for listening :)
The worst thing a therapist can do is what yours was doing. It almost sounded like a form of patronizing you and that can feel very belittling. I have never been diagnosed with autism but I have been battling long term depression and anxiety. I have heard all the classic catchphrases like "you're fine", "get over it", "shape up" you know the drill. It can be hard to talk to anyone about mental differences who haven't been there themselves. A friend could say much nicer than the patronizing things, but it is so easy to tell when they have no clue and don't know really what to say. If you find a friend who has had their own issues, you will have the most caring friend in the world. You would still have to explain what you are feeling if your new friend was not a diagnosed autistic, but if they have had their own battles, you will never be belittled by that person. Even if they dont understand exactly, instead of saying "it'll get better" they will more likely say "I want to be here for you and help anyway I can." I am probably telling you everything you already know. Its nice to meet you though!
When I used to go to therapy, I felt like I had to catch my therapist up. Not about what's going on in my life, but about all the things I know about myself. And I few times I caught him making assumptions about me (I asked and he confirmed that sometimes therapists do that) and I had to correct him. I always left frustrated because why am I spending time and money to teach someone about myself when I already know myself who has nothing helpful to add or even actively misrepresents me? I know the way I'm saying it it might sound highly narcissistic, like "oh you think you know everything?" but it was basic things we were talking about and he refused to listen or propose anything different that made more sense than what I was saying. Also the "everyone goes the same thing" during puberty and young adulthood almost ended me too. It took so many years to realize that no, they really don't. Not at the same level of intensity. Not all at once. Not every day, no matter the environment.
It doesn’t sound narcissistic, I relate so much to feeling like you are just catching your therapist up on what you know about yourself. It’s frustrating to do so much introspection and not get any useful or constructive feedback. The notion that all teenagers are inherently moody, depressed, overly emotional, etc., is honestly so harmful. Neurodivergent or not, it invalidates the mental health and struggles of young people. They are then not taken seriously in cases where they should be. Even if those things were an absolute truth, it doesn’t change the reality of what a young person is going through. I am not glad this has been your experience, but I am grateful that those of us who relate can find each other over platforms like this. It is a much needed relief and reminder that we are not alone.
Hello, and happy Sweetest Day! Thank you for being so open and honest about serious topics. It takes a lot of courage to share like you do. I sometimes wonder if my dad was troubled with OCD. He was quite the nitpicker and had to have everything placed in order with perfect 90 degree angles to everything. Maybe it rubbed off on me 'cause I find myself placing freshly laundered garments, washcloths and towels in matched pairs in precise rows on the shelves and in drawers. Yet, there's one good thing to all this self enforced perfection. People might think of me as too rigid and unable to lighten up, but nobody has ever called me a slob ha-ha. Well, here's wishing you a sweet Saturday and a smooth Sunday! TTY soon!
1:11 even worse, there's people who _think_ they're very self aware who are actually incredibly UN-self aware. so you might have even met these people, heard them say, "I'm very self aware" and had that feed into your belief that everyone else is just as self aware as you are. at least, that's what happened to me. I genuinely cannot concieve not being self aware because of exactly what you said. how could I not know my brain when I've been in it all these years? not to say I'm aware of _all_ of my behaviors or the reasons why I do them, but probably more than most people, and probably in part because of my autism. I even find that I'm more aware of other people's behaviors and where they may come from more than most. I wonder if this self awareness comes from having to constantly monitor ours and others behaviors due to negative reception to…us. our peopleness?
I relate a lot to heightened awareness of other people’s behaviors and the reasons why they might do them. I definitely think having to constantly monitor ourselves and others in can lead to this kind of thing. Behavioral pattern recognition is picked up so quickly when you spend more time observing interactions than interacting yourself.
The majority of autistics have CPTSD. From all the years of bullying, being ostracized, feeling like an alien and probably dealing / living with narcisists. You often need a trauma based therapist who knows about trauma. And having a high IQ in some ways makes the trauma worse I think, because you are smart enough to see what is going on... I have 2 therapists. My main one is a trauma based talk therapist. Sometimes just telling the stuff to someone at times can make you feel a bit better. Or it allows you to "process" it. Besides its someone to talk to. And yes I have lots of deep insight into myself too. My 2nd therapist is my horse therapist. I go to horse therapy every week. I find that helps me the most. Connecting with the horses. You should look into it. I was late diagnosed at 48. I am 52 now.
Yeah I was also told I had PTSD which I know is 100% CPTSD and it wasn’t surprising to me at all. I have tried several therapists and for some reason I don’t find it helpful at all. Not that it does nothing, but I felt like I could get the same results talking to myself or to a wall. It felt like they couldn’t tell me anything I didn’t know. Not always, but a lot of the time. After that…I kind of gave up on therapy. I want to spend more time in nature. I have not been around horses much but I can see how it could be therapeutic.
What kind of plant is Priscilla? I think i might have the same kind but mine doesn't like so happy as her. Thanks for being out here and sharing your autistic experience ❤. I'll have to rewatch because I'm at work and the sewing machine was a bit loud
She is a golden pothos plant. She has been through a lot actually because one of my cats snuck into my room to eat her more than once. 😂 You only have to water them once a week (just enough to get the soil wet but not soaked) and they are low-light. And thank you so much, it means a lot 🫶
@@brisbreathingo shit, I meant mine doesn't look so happy. Well I had it on the windowsill and it's cold but also maybe I wasn't watering enough. I hope it will perk up. Now I'm gonna have to name it. Your video caught my eye right away because I've been having not the best time with therapy. My last 2 therapists I have really not felt understood by. It was weird, it seemed like they had a specific plan for how things should go and it didn't involve me being able to say whatever I wanted to say. I have had better experiences before that with therapy. There's another idea that bothers me too which is does the therapist have to b smarter than the client? I hope not, because that would really make it difficult for some people
i'm currently having this experience with a book about sport psychology that was recommended to me by a friend. it points out a lot of unhelpful thought patterns, but i already knew i had those thought patterns, and it's not really telling me how to fix them
wow, yeah I’m glad it’s not just me. having that information is cool and all but if you don’t actually know what to do with it it’s kind of just frustrating
Bri, you’re so beautiful and so smart, never let nobody make you feel any less of a person, it’s ok to be different in some ways as a human but I will always love you for who you are as a woman cause honestly, I love all women and I want to emotionally feel for them always 🩷
Many autistics have issues with grain and dairy. Are you eating those? I am mainly on an almost carnivore diet. I mainly eat grass fed beef + lamb, pasture eggs, beef liver, GT's synergy kombucha, boiled carrots + a little fruit. Eating foods you react to - like grains or milk products ( I was able to eat these when I was younger but I cannot eat them now. Turns out I have celiac gene and celiac plus a milk allergy + corn allergy). A good therapist should help you find coping skills. Things you do ehen you are triggered so you dont try to RIP yourself. They are different for different people. I like to go for long walks. It keeps me busy. And gives me good exercise too. I can easily outwalk college kids. Some people like to draw or color in coloring books. Do art. Sew. Various hobbies. Get a peer support. My peer support person talks to me 3 times a week. But you need one who you connect with. There are also distraction techniques. Keep your mind on other things. Maybe find something else to "worry" about instead of your own issues.. There are tons of subjects here on YT. How about puzzles? Mysteries? One thing that fascinates me is all of the missing people on Missing 411. The channel name is Canam Missing Project. The cases are very fascinating and often my mind enjoys trying to figure out where these peiple are going! But no one actually knows. Dave Paulides also lost his son. His son Ben did the RIP thing. He was bipolar. Dave talks often about mental health on his channel. He is a former cop. But find things that keep you busy. Look to join a CCS program in your area. And try horse therapy. Horses accept you. They give you self confidence. There is nothing like working with such large animals. I have been seeing the horses since Jan 2019. The horses are my friends. And in some ways they are like us. Most autistics are often in Fight or Flight. The horses are also often on "guard" as they are prey animals. They help regulate the nervous system. And you can help them regulate theirs too. There have been times when I have calmed doen an upset horse just by touching them. Some of us are gifted with horse skills.. And I grew up in a city so I never knew horses as a kid. But try it. Maybe you will find out you are a cowgirl... But we are here on earth to learn things. Some say we are starseeds. And that we chose to be here now at this time as the planet changes. Some say what you think is what you attract. That is metaphyics / quantum mechanics. Go find yourself a horse. A real one. They are very healing. 🐎
Never went to therapy but have been told that I'm self aware by friends and stuff, and could not understand what they meant. It's making sense now. This year has been the worst in my life, I barely made it and it was because of the gaslighting that my experience is typical. I explained myself multiple times throughout life to friends and family and no one ever heard me. I feel very lucky to have people on TH-cam explaining what autism is or I would likely have not figured out what the heck is up. Thanks!
Yes it can be so frustrating and feel so lonely, but you are not alone. Thanks for listening :)
Thearpy is hard work ,expensive, and sometimes I felt my thearpists seem not that interested. I finished up some short term thearpy this year. I got out of it that I need to be my true self and let people take it or leave it. I'm sorry for some of the feelings you have gone through with autism . I believe you deserve a nice future ahead of you. Thank you for sharing what you have gone through with your audience.
Yeah, I get what you mean. I’m glad to hear you got what you needed. I aspire to have that perspective someday soon. Thank you for your kind words and for listening :)
@@brisbreathing Thanks Bri : ).
The worst thing a therapist can do is what yours was doing. It almost sounded like a form of patronizing you and that can feel very belittling. I have never been diagnosed with autism but I have been battling long term depression and anxiety. I have heard all the classic catchphrases like "you're fine", "get over it", "shape up" you know the drill. It can be hard to talk to anyone about mental differences who haven't been there themselves. A friend could say much nicer than the patronizing things, but it is so easy to tell when they have no clue and don't know really what to say. If you find a friend who has had their own issues, you will have the most caring friend in the world. You would still have to explain what you are feeling if your new friend was not a diagnosed autistic, but if they have had their own battles, you will never be belittled by that person. Even if they dont understand exactly, instead of saying "it'll get better" they will more likely say "I want to be here for you and help anyway I can." I am probably telling you everything you already know. Its nice to meet you though!
Yes, it can be so invalidating and I feel like there are not as many people who see and understand why. Thanks for sharing this. :)
Thanks for sharing. Some time ago, I found out it was not just me that went through this. I think your message here will help a lot of people. Thanks
Thank you for listening 🫶
When I used to go to therapy, I felt like I had to catch my therapist up. Not about what's going on in my life, but about all the things I know about myself. And I few times I caught him making assumptions about me (I asked and he confirmed that sometimes therapists do that) and I had to correct him. I always left frustrated because why am I spending time and money to teach someone about myself when I already know myself who has nothing helpful to add or even actively misrepresents me?
I know the way I'm saying it it might sound highly narcissistic, like "oh you think you know everything?" but it was basic things we were talking about and he refused to listen or propose anything different that made more sense than what I was saying.
Also the "everyone goes the same thing" during puberty and young adulthood almost ended me too. It took so many years to realize that no, they really don't. Not at the same level of intensity. Not all at once. Not every day, no matter the environment.
It doesn’t sound narcissistic, I relate so much to feeling like you are just catching your therapist up on what you know about yourself. It’s frustrating to do so much introspection and not get any useful or constructive feedback.
The notion that all teenagers are inherently moody, depressed, overly emotional, etc., is honestly so harmful. Neurodivergent or not, it invalidates the mental health and struggles of young people. They are then not taken seriously in cases where they should be. Even if those things were an absolute truth, it doesn’t change the reality of what a young person is going through.
I am not glad this has been your experience, but I am grateful that those of us who relate can find each other over platforms like this. It is a much needed relief and reminder that we are not alone.
Hello, and happy Sweetest Day! Thank you for being so open and honest about serious topics. It takes a lot of courage to share like you do.
I sometimes wonder if my dad was troubled with OCD. He was quite the nitpicker and had to have everything placed in order with perfect 90 degree angles to everything. Maybe it rubbed off on me 'cause I find myself placing freshly laundered garments, washcloths and towels in matched pairs in precise rows on the shelves and in drawers.
Yet, there's one good thing to all this self enforced perfection. People might think of me as too rigid and unable to lighten up, but nobody has ever called me a slob ha-ha.
Well, here's wishing you a sweet Saturday and a smooth Sunday! TTY soon!
I relate to that a lot. I think people perceive me the same way. I’d rather be uptight and live in a clean, organized house though 😂
1:11 even worse, there's people who _think_ they're very self aware who are actually incredibly UN-self aware. so you might have even met these people, heard them say, "I'm very self aware" and had that feed into your belief that everyone else is just as self aware as you are. at least, that's what happened to me. I genuinely cannot concieve not being self aware because of exactly what you said. how could I not know my brain when I've been in it all these years? not to say I'm aware of _all_ of my behaviors or the reasons why I do them, but probably more than most people, and probably in part because of my autism. I even find that I'm more aware of other people's behaviors and where they may come from more than most. I wonder if this self awareness comes from having to constantly monitor ours and others behaviors due to negative reception to…us. our peopleness?
I relate a lot to heightened awareness of other people’s behaviors and the reasons why they might do them. I definitely think having to constantly monitor ourselves and others in can lead to this kind of thing. Behavioral pattern recognition is picked up so quickly when you spend more time observing interactions than interacting yourself.
Don't know if you mentioned it, but this book helped me put my therapies into context: The autistic survival guide to Therapy by Steph Jones
I haven’t heard of it. Thank you!
Yes. Excellent and enjoyable. Concurs with Bri's frustrations but also offers some ideas on how it may be of benefit.
The majority of autistics have CPTSD. From all the years of bullying, being ostracized, feeling like an alien and probably dealing / living with narcisists. You often need a trauma based therapist who knows about trauma. And having a high IQ in some ways makes the trauma worse I think, because you are smart enough to see what is going on...
I have 2 therapists. My main one is a trauma based talk therapist. Sometimes just telling the stuff to someone at times can make you feel a bit better. Or it allows you to "process" it. Besides its someone to talk to. And yes I have lots of deep insight into myself too.
My 2nd therapist is my horse therapist. I go to horse therapy every week. I find that helps me the most. Connecting with the horses. You should look into it.
I was late diagnosed at 48. I am 52 now.
Yeah I was also told I had PTSD which I know is 100% CPTSD and it wasn’t surprising to me at all. I have tried several therapists and for some reason I don’t find it helpful at all. Not that it does nothing, but I felt like I could get the same results talking to myself or to a wall. It felt like they couldn’t tell me anything I didn’t know. Not always, but a lot of the time. After that…I kind of gave up on therapy.
I want to spend more time in nature. I have not been around horses much but I can see how it could be therapeutic.
What kind of plant is Priscilla? I think i might have the same kind but mine doesn't like so happy as her. Thanks for being out here and sharing your autistic experience ❤. I'll have to rewatch because I'm at work and the sewing machine was a bit loud
She is a golden pothos plant. She has been through a lot actually because one of my cats snuck into my room to eat her more than once. 😂 You only have to water them once a week (just enough to get the soil wet but not soaked) and they are low-light. And thank you so much, it means a lot 🫶
@@brisbreathingo shit, I meant mine doesn't look so happy. Well I had it on the windowsill and it's cold but also maybe I wasn't watering enough. I hope it will perk up. Now I'm gonna have to name it. Your video caught my eye right away because I've been having not the best time with therapy. My last 2 therapists I have really not felt understood by. It was weird, it seemed like they had a specific plan for how things should go and it didn't involve me being able to say whatever I wanted to say. I have had better experiences before that with therapy. There's another idea that bothers me too which is does the therapist have to b smarter than the client? I hope not, because that would really make it difficult for some people
i'm currently having this experience with a book about sport psychology that was recommended to me by a friend. it points out a lot of unhelpful thought patterns, but i already knew i had those thought patterns, and it's not really telling me how to fix them
wow, yeah I’m glad it’s not just me. having that information is cool and all but if you don’t actually know what to do with it it’s kind of just frustrating
Bri, you’re so beautiful and so smart, never let nobody make you feel any less of a person, it’s ok to be different in some ways as a human but I will always love you for who you are as a woman cause honestly, I love all women and I want to emotionally feel for them always 🩷
Many autistics have issues with grain and dairy. Are you eating those? I am mainly on an almost carnivore diet. I mainly eat grass fed beef + lamb, pasture eggs, beef liver, GT's synergy kombucha, boiled carrots + a little fruit. Eating foods you react to - like grains or milk products ( I was able to eat these when I was younger but I cannot eat them now. Turns out I have celiac gene and celiac plus a milk allergy + corn allergy).
A good therapist should help you find coping skills. Things you do ehen you are triggered so you dont try to RIP yourself. They are different for different people. I like to go for long walks. It keeps me busy. And gives me good exercise too. I can easily outwalk college kids.
Some people like to draw or color in coloring books. Do art. Sew. Various hobbies.
Get a peer support. My peer support person talks to me 3 times a week. But you need one who you connect with.
There are also distraction techniques. Keep your mind on other things. Maybe find something else to "worry" about instead of your own issues.. There are tons of subjects here on YT.
How about puzzles? Mysteries? One thing that fascinates me is all of the missing people on Missing 411. The channel name is Canam Missing Project. The cases are very fascinating and often my mind enjoys trying to figure out where these peiple are going! But no one actually knows. Dave Paulides also lost his son. His son Ben did the RIP thing. He was bipolar. Dave talks often about mental health on his channel. He is a former cop.
But find things that keep you busy.
Look to join a CCS program in your area.
And try horse therapy. Horses accept you. They give you self confidence. There is nothing like working with such large animals. I have been seeing the horses since Jan 2019. The horses are my friends. And in some ways they are like us. Most autistics are often in Fight or Flight. The horses are also often on "guard" as they are prey animals. They help regulate the nervous system. And you can help them regulate theirs too. There have been times when I have calmed doen an upset horse just by touching them. Some of us are gifted with horse skills.. And I grew up in a city so I never knew horses as a kid. But try it. Maybe you will find out you are a cowgirl...
But we are here on earth to learn things. Some say we are starseeds. And that we chose to be here now at this time as the planet changes. Some say what you think is what you attract. That is metaphyics / quantum mechanics.
Go find yourself a horse. A real one. They are very healing. 🐎
You're beautiful 🫶🏽
thank you 🫶