Children Of Vietnam Vets Tell Their Stories
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 4 ก.ย. 2019
- Back 30+ years ago my team recorded this therapy session at a church in St. Louis Missouri. Young people were sharing their stories of what it was like to grow up with a dad who had come back from the Vietnam War. I felt for these kids and for the veterans who returned with PTSD and other mental and physical challenges. The names of these young people are lost in my files (destroyed in a fire). I would love to reach out to them today to hear what happened to them and to their fathers as time went on.
- ภาพยนตร์และแอนิเมชัน
My father was a Vietnam vet. He developed paranoid schizophrenia after he came home. My mother developed severe depression because she didn't know how to handle it. I had to practicality raise myself. I couldn't relate to my peers either because they didn't have a clue and seemed so immature to me so i can relate to what these kids are saying. I would hang out with people much older and just stay in my room when I was home. I moved out when I was just 17, got a job and and rented a house with other misfits like myself. I think it made me a stronger person. Having to deal with so much and not a normal childhood.
P J My Mother wasn’t married when she had me and had to move out of town. When she was pregnant with me she met the man who would become her husband and the man who I would call dad, when I was 9 months old. He was fresh from Vietnam. My first memory of Dad was when I was about 3 and I had to lay down on the bed with my pants pulled down to get a lickin with his belt for getting in to my mom’s makeup. I was never told that he wasn’t my biological father even though everyone in the town knew. I only found out when I found my birth certificate which had my mother’s maiden name and the fathers name was blank. This was when I was 13 years old and was a major mind fuck to me. My dad was constantly angry; yelling, screaming, pounding his fists on the table, etc. I was the oldest of 6: 3 girls and then the 3 boys in that order and we lived on a dairy farm. I was out working in the barn as young as 6 years old helping my dad feed the cows and calves, helping pull calves during labor and eventually milking the whole herd myself by the time I was 10-11 years old. I couldn’t even ask my dad a simple question without being hollered at for “talking back”. I was severely afraid of my dad’s rage which was a daily occurrence. I started sneaking beers when I was 12; going up in the hay loft or my tree house where I would drink beer and write poetry and fantasize about any world other than the one I lived in which felt essentially like I was a slave. I was made to work like a grown man even though I was a very tiny girl ( I was only 76 pounds in 7th grade). We had dogs which I absolutely loved and cared for but eventually, the dog would do something wrong like kill a chicken or strew the garbage about and dad would go get the shotgun and I would run to my room and put a pillow over my head but still her the click, click of the shotgun before it went off and my dog would be dead. This totally destroyed my heart so many times that I still choke up now thinking about it. I ended up getting pregnant at 17 and got married only to divorce 2 years later and went on to get married and divorced 2 more times. I have 3 beautiful kids and soon to be 3 grandkids but there’s something broken inside of me and I know most of it is from all the abuse and stress of our dysfunctional home life. My mom was a good mother but was very stressed and distant and she had many health problems and back surgeries plus with 6 of us, there just wasn’t much time to really feel cared for emotionally. I know they did the best they could but you couldn’t pay me enough money to go back in time and live my childhood again. I had terrible self esteem and went looking for men to solve my problems which only complicated my life. I never had the chance to be a young adult and live on my own before becoming a mother and wife. I did manage to go to school to become a CNA, then an LPN, and then an RN. I worked in healthcare for 20 years until my body fell apart from early arthritis and Juvenile Discogenic Disease of my spine, and Fibromyalgia. I strongly feel like the Fibromyalgia came about from the emotional component of stress and pain and from never being able to ask for help and always trying to manage my life alone. There’s a lot more suffering from war then a person realizes. When men come back with PTSD, they take it out on their wives and children and anyone else that gets in their way. There really wasn’t any help for my dad until I was already grown and even then, he would refuse to take the medication. He’s gotten better with age but it’s still not unusual for him to snap over the most trivial of things and to this day, I watch what I say around him. I don’t know, I’m just left with a lot of sadness and a heavy heart most of the time. I’m glad there’s others here that we can relate to and I appreciate their stories and wish them all well. We just have to do our best to be the compassion to others that we didn’t get for ourselves.
P J , , , , indeed , , war , , is the most serious affair to be gotten into ! , , !
Im sorry dear no one deserves that even when it is cast upon them
I'm sorry t9 hear this. I hope your adult years brought you peace and happiness.
@@lisaeischens2352 And yet I know that there is so much more to your story and what you endured than what you have shared. We become too mature and too self-reliant from a very young age, causes us to shoulder our burdens and bottle things up which has terrible personal and physical side effects. Hope things are improving for you
I'm the child of a Vietnam vet. I remember dad taking the family to see Platoon (1986) and walking out about halfway through, because he couldn't take finishing the movie. I was only a kid at the time, but that memory has always stuck with me.
My father didn't make it beyond the first jungle scenes.
th-cam.com/video/1sKnOo3bzR8/w-d-xo.html
Exactly same thing! We went and left halfway through.
Same here
Same here with..Full metal jacket.!!
My dad was a combat medic and the only one in his platoon small enough to fit in the holes. So he was a tunnel rat too. Then when someone smaller came along, my dad still did it because he didn't want anyone else getting hurt. My dad was never violent when he came back. He did have ptsd which could lead to some emotional breaks downs. Sometimes I heard him crying in his sleep. My dad never sugar coated life. He told things as it was. He was strict but only to protect his four daughters. He never drank. He worked at the same job he got when he got out of nam until he retired. Working his way to the top in his career. I've heard a lot of stories. The good, the bad, and some confessions. I've never judged him for anything. It's war, and no matter people think, that's exactly how war is. He's a victim of his environment. My dad is a wonderful man and he's extremely intelligent. I believe his experience in Vietnam turned him into the hero our family still looks at him as. He's the glue that holds the entire family together.
My life was different growing up because he didn't sugar coat things. But I'm glad he didn't. When I've ever had to encounter any type of situation relating to battle. I knew what to do, how to do it, when to do it, and without hesitation. Because of that, I'm still alive. So thank you dad.
I remember my father being very afraid that I would wind up being drafted for VietNam. The war ended when Saigon fell, during the last year I was in High School. While I was in school, my father made sure I learn to type. He considered entering me into an ROTC program. (In retrospect, I kind wish I’d gone in that direction.) In his time in the army, he had observed that people who can type are given a typewriter instead of a gun. Oddly enough this led to a summer job doing punched card data entry where I met my first computer and it was love at first sight.
*I remember being glued to the television every time the lottery was called, absolutely terrified that my number would come up - while I got lucky, several of my friends were not. Once came home in a box (to use the common vernacular of the day), one came home batshit crazy, and one came home in body only; all in a period of about 3 years. Vietnam was the overriding concern of the day: it beat out the duck and cover drills (for nuclear bomb attacks), the **_awful_** economy (wage and price controls were placed around that time, utterly destroying the already fragile state of our Bretton Woods economy), and every other concern. All of us had to decide, in advance, if we were willing to be called up, or if we were going to flee to Canada when the time came: it was a really tough decision. Personally, it wasn't war per se that bothered me as much as **_that particular war._** Vietnam was undeclared, totally immoral, and it was clearly being fought in a way that was **_not_** designed to be won. If your country is going to ask you to lay down your life, it should have a damned good reason, and it should be **_fighting to _win!_** To this day I am not sure which road I would have taken had I been told to report.*
Your father obviously cared a lot about you. Typing was his "insurance" that just maybe you would be spared. I feel that as a father of sons.
I was raised by a Vietnam veteran. It was hard dealing with a father who was 100% disabled veteran but he was the best dad anyone could ever had. I never thought it was odd that he never slept in a bed and always had a gun next to him. I have met a few other Vietnam vets (my uncle is also one) and I'll never understand why they have a haunted look in their eyes. That's the only way I could describe it...haunted.
I didn't even know my dad was in Vietnam until I was reunited with him when I was 37. I was born in 1978 and my mom divorced him in 1979 and managed to gradually alienate me from him by age 14. Her narcissistic personality disorder must have forgotten to mention such an important part of my dad's story and my dad must have assumed I knew as a young child. He was drafted at age 19. He was finally diagnosed with PTSD in his 60's. He's 71 now. I'm 41. He is a good guy. My mom on the other hand....
My dad was a career (20yrs) Army man and fought in Korea and Vietnam. After he was home, once dad came home-2 or 3 am, mom and dad fought. This was the norm. It was very fright for us small children: 4yrs old and up. There were 7 kids. This childhood trauma impacted the lives of each of their children. Dad passed Dec 1999 from Agent Orange derived cancer.
Mine served in both as well.
Retired as well.
They may have met.
My father was a Vietnam combat veteran helicopter gunner. He had major PTSD and explosive anger and those traits have been passed down to me. I'm in my 40s now struggling with my emotions. My father died from cancer due to agent orange.
Sounds like we had similar Fathers. Mine was a medivac crew chief, several tours in active combat zones. The explosive anger is horrible and just destroys your life. It was my Dads way of getting things done. I watched his anger destroy his life and relationships. I also absorbed that crap by proxy. Now I do my best to catch myself and calm down. Anger never solves a problem. It's like throwing gasoline on a fire. Its not easy, you have to forgive yourself when you relapse and move forward. I wish you the best.
My Vietnam Vet dad is the same way, but he's still alive (agent orange-induced prostate cancer survivor), but it's affected me and my sisters (and our kids) terribly. Praying for peace and healing for all involved. 🙏🏾
I have the same problem my anger can be out control sometimes and I guess its coming from daddy he was in Vietnam 71-72 and he put fear in me like no other it was just like full metal jacket. The way he would say things hurt my feelings and emotions I had to watch what I say are when I be talking because if I said something stupid are it sounds like dumb to him he would be on my ass one thing about him he didn't have no fear he would say when he get mad very mad don't pass me off I give u a war that make u believe I put something on your ass that u make believe not just one time every since I was 5 to I got old. I had hard time in school because I was raised different than lots of kids I had anger problems I went to jail in middle school the boy put his hands on me and just like I told that cop my daddy said if person put there hands on u take thim out fast that's why I hit him first ran his head to that concrete post we fought for almost hour I was trying to kill him I told the cop when he said how this fight started and I told him he drew first blood not me and he shouldn't have put put hands on me. I feel u hundred percent my daddy broke me down and built me stronger that's what I come to understand he wants me to be the best he would say if u not on your a game Charlie would cut your throat
It's interesting because my old man never served. Different time, different country, however I can relate to what both of you have described 100% He was in a serious car accident when I was about 5 years old and suffered with PTSD and depression from that accident for the next 30 odd years. His explosive anger and moodiness really rubbed off on me and i struggle now to be better than him. The worst/best thing is that I'm super aware of it in me and yet I always feel like I only become aware after an outburst which in my opinion isn't self awarenesa at all.
My "Uncle" was one of the medics who was pulling the bodies off the helicopters. He was a total wreck, had severe alcoholism. Luckily he was into painting/art and could subsist of that, but he died very young from liver failure (or so the VA said). It took my relative a while to persuade him to go to the VA and get benefits at all, he was reluctant to be a "freeloader".
My father was special forces in Vietnam from 1968-69. He shared many stories and recollections with me when I was very little until my early teen years. The most haunting was that you can never forget the smell of burning flesh. That's a lot to handle as a ten year old but it told me a lot about who he had to be to survive. I had/have a hard time relating to people as he does. I know that the innocent man who he was before the war died and was lost forever and I mourn all the time for his anguish.
Was your father anywhere near Da Nang/ Quang Nam Province in May-June '68?
I'm a veteran and have had the pleasure of meeting many Vietnam Vets at the VA. Some tell me their stories. I have nothing but respect for them.
My father was a Vietnam vet. He raised me like he was a drill sergeant, and he was gonna raise a tough little man. He didn't suffer trauma, nor saw heavy action. (Motorpool, Air force) He was an abusive ass, and my mother was very complaint.
I have several mental issues because of the environment I grew up in.
I have mental issues also and I can definitely understand how you feel !
i had a drunken viet vet father also, strange how we age and realize.. bang bang the damage is done
so sorry you had to experience that!
Father (20years Korea/Vietnam)was an angry alcoholic and mother was complacent.
That was my childhood in a nutshell.
I crave to be a normal adult but I was never a normal child so.....
My dad was drafted for Vietnam, but didn't pass the physical. But, my grandfather served in ww2 in Saipan, Guadalcanal, Papua, French New Guinea, etc. In other words, a bloodsoaked, murderous tour that left him with what would now be called extreme PTSD. Raised in an abusive household, to start with, he raised his own family with unchecked rage and bouts of violence that were only increased exponentially if he was drinking. If bystanders or neighbors intervened, usually it was to their regret; violent conflict seemed to be his specialty, even though he was a talented craftsmen, hunter, regular person on those rare occasions. But he never once laid a hand on me, or even yelled or hollered at me. I'm also one of the only people who he ever talked to in detail about his experiences overseas. I was only ten, but it didnt phase me and I kept it between us. He didnt tell me to, it just seemed like the right thing to do. And not until later did I learn about all the bad shit he did to my mom, uncles, aunts, and my grandma. Even though, it hurt to learn and hear how horrible my family's life was, I wasnt too surprised considering the things my gramps did, saw, dealt with. What's worse than all of that is there were thousands more like him all over the place, with broken, fucked up families like ours, and no organized form of counseling, therapy or help other than to "deal with it", "don't be crying", or eventually it will get better. I don't know how or why I was lucky enough to be spared, but if anyone can help someone they know or care about with these kinds of problems, don't hesitate. Help someone get right so they can be right. Just thought I should say so.
Speaking as a combat Vietnam vet, forever after when I got home I never felt secure again, you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Thank you for your service. You can feel secure in knowing that you are a true Patriot. You chose to defend your country, while others ran away to Canada. May peace and happiness follow you always.
This is great stuff! I graduated from high school in 1975, and so was not called up. But let me tell you, from 5th grade (10 years old) until 1975 (18 years old) my generation had EVERY expectation that we would follow our older brother and sisters to Vietnam One friend said, "The French been there since the 50's. America got sucked right after WWII, SO what makes you think it's gonna stop in time for us to miss it??" But miss it we did. I wonder if there is a name for our generation? We all where terrified thru grade school and high school. We went to the funerals of our friends older siblings. And then like that! Boom. America left Vietnam while I was a senior in high school. War.War. War effects us al in some way.
Proud fellow child of a Vietnam veteran here! I understand that not too many people in this day and age really truly know or understand just how truly horrific the tragic conundrums of the Vietnam War really was. As the daughter and only child of a Retired USMC Vietnam Veteran, my Dad was one of the "lucky" ones to have survived the atrocities of the Vietnam War. It is utterly heart breaking to witness a marine /soldier who is still fighting the same war that he left 30 years ago - and when that man is your father, it really makes you see things in a much more understanding and empathetic light.
Not being born until 1980, five years after the Fall of Saigon - which was when the Vietnam War had ended, I grew up watching how relentlessly haunted my Dad was from the unspeakable tragedies that he experienced while serving in the Vietnam War. Even though he did his best to shield it all from me - I saw the way he simply couldn't help but to just re-hash the events over and over again, and what breaks my heart the most, is the way he suffered with so much that he just couldn't seem to find a way to forgive himself for... I'm not sure what that was exactly - and out of respect I never asked.
As a born and raised Marine Corps BRAT - I want to speak to my fellow military BRATS who come from every branch of this exceptional nation of ours. Taking to all the Navy Kids, The Air Force Kids, The Army Brats, and the Marine Corps Devil Pups. As children of the military - we know the tremendous amount of pride and lifelong honor that it is to be a child of a marine, a sailer, an airman and a soldier. We realized very early on that each of us were cut from a very different cloth than that of our nation's civilian kids.
We've endured the disruption that comes from frequent deployments that had us moving to a new house every few years - starting over at new schools, as well as the heartache of having to say goodbye to friends that we worked so hard to make - then toters around and work just as hard at trying to make new friends... The unfamiliarity and uncertainty of being a child of the military taught us how to improvise, we learned how to adapt - and by GOD - we have mastered the dexterity of being able to overcome. Like our military parents, we knew how to hunker down through the toughest of times, and we prevailed - and as adult children of the military - we know that we can prevail through anything else that comes our way.
While a lot of us weren't quite able to understand during the throws of our military childhoods - but eventually become clear as day in our adulthood years - is the extraordinary lifelong honor and resounding pride that it is to be a child who comes from fathers and mothers who were brave enough - strong enough - and selfless enough to answer a call from our Nation to stand up and serve. I humbly salute every child / former child of our Nations Military… I am so proud to call you my Brothers and my Sisters - I have so much respect for all the tremendous sacrifices that you yourselves have made, especially at such a young age. Never forget who you are - take pride in your military heritage that has made you into the extraordinarily resilient human that you are - and you have very clearly proven to be.
Lastly, I would like to say to all of our Vietnam Veterans and to their families... -My family and I proudly honor, appreciate and acknowledge the tremendous service and sacrifices that each and every Vietnam Veteran so valiantly made. Today, yesterday and always. It is an honor to celebrate and acknowledge our Vietnam Veterans, and please know that your service will NEVER be forgotten.
As for me... Well... Some people dream of getting to meet their hero's. I was so very lucky to have been raised by mine.
RIP MSgt Colin D. Broussard - USMC Retired - Vietnam Veteran - Operation Frequent Wind.
Wow. We need support groups for us raised by Vietnam vets. I relate to so much of what was said in the video and the comments as well.
My dad was there earlier than most, helping to gather intelligence as a Green Beret, he was not proud of what he did, or what this country did, but I was proud of my dad, he was a survivor.
10:40 Perfect editing, the sadness in that young mans eyes really got me, he was trying so hard to hold back the pain, which is followed by shots of self comforting hair curling and recognition of trauma from the girls.
Then just from a few seconds on the older mans eyes, and facial expressions 11:47, you can see he knows what the young man is communicating without saying a word.
I was a little girl during Vietnam, young men from our church were drafted, some on front lines. We would record church services, sing songs, send messages to our boys, recorded on the old reel-to-reel tapes. During this same time period, my grandmother took the LIFE magazine for me. I loved seeing how children all over the world lived, their homes, foods they ate. One day, so excited to see the new magazine, I open it to find a picture that would change my life forever- the children crying, running through the streets, what is napalm, what's wrong with the children?...wait, isn't that where our boys are? I asked one thousand questions my grandmother had few answers for. I was stunned by what I saw, wanting to know where are the adults? Why aren't they minding the children? Who's going to help them? And, more importantly, who did this? I knew the adults must have gone awry, the little ones aren't being protected. From that day to this one I have fought for children who have no voice. And, I scream the names of the ones hurting them.
How wonderful it would be to see these folks today, how their lives carried out with all they'd been through with their families. Thank you, I enjoyed this so much. God bless you, Mr Hoffman.
and God bless you and your efforts.
David Hoffman-filmmaker
My Dad took me to see Platoon in 86. I was 15. I was walking out with him and he said, "now you know why all of us smoked and drank and how messed up some guys got because of the war". He was on the DMZ in 1970 and his base camp was overrun so I know he saw his far share of action. He never talked about the combat side of it. I can relate to these kids.
He must have been at the Rockpile. 158 Americans were killed trying to hold onto that base.
I find it to be tragic and sad that this is the first video I've ever run across that shows a few children of Vietnam Vet's sharing bits of their experiences. I appreciate the man who shared and filmed this video. Thank-you from the bottom of my heart. I thought for whatever it's worth to share that my father was drafted against his will, because like many prison in Leavenworth was the only other option. My father was not a college student and he was bitter that the draft came for him, because of this he hated academics, and reminded me during my school years of his hatred for Government and School. Sadly, in my case my father was already mentally ill before he was drafted. He returned when I was about two years old, twice the monster he was before he was drafted, War had ignited the beast in him. My earliest childhood memories were of terror. From two years old till adult I was physically, emotionally, severally abused by my father. I am 48 years old and I never had any person my whole life I could trust to share my story with who could understand what it was like. My mother was a strict southern baptist Christian and if I shared half of how I truly felt, she'd only remind me of trusting in the Lord. The girl in this video who spoke that she could do nothing right by her father was parallel to my life, but it went way farther, to the point that my father, who by all rights was a great artist and musician, just so happened to draw charactures of me as a child and even in my teens. Hideous cartoons that made fun of my every flaw, and a list of nick-names he came up with to taunt me with, and every night at the dinner table while my mother worked the nigh shift he'd begin mocking and making-fun of me and like clockwork the only way I could be allowed to go to my room was that I had learnt to raise my voice and say "stop it daddy" and then he'd always begin beating me senseless, on cue, it was mechanical, beyond anything I can describe in pain, both emotionally and physiologically. That was not even the tip of the iceberg. I was bullied and made fun of in school and eventually dropped out. I was an old soul, I never had a childhood. My own Uncle, (mother's younger brother) molested me, I had no one I trusted to turn to for help. Even today if I think someone is making fun of me I go into overdrive and have to escape, I become panicky. I can't explain half of what happened to me because I spent my whole life keeping all of it balled up inside, never sharing it with anyone. I cannot work for fear of people, I hide in my house most of the time, I am fortunate to be married to a man who loves me, for that I guess I should not complain I know I have so much more than most. I'm shaking like a leaf, but going to trust enough to leave this, I feel like children of veterans like myself were forgotten, I was afraid to speak, afraid people would judge me for being weak, or like someone in this comment section made about "more promotion of victim creation" so I don't think I'll post anything here ever again because that one comment has set me off pretty badly. I hate going to shrinks, they just take your money and go with it, I never could find a place for group therapy for Children of Vets, wish there was more information available but I feel for me it's too late anyway to ever establish normalcy.
Thanks for sharing your story. Don't worry about commenters saying ignorant things, because they don't understand.
💜
Thank you for surviving and sharing your life story. All the best to you.
@@elfsieben1450 Thank-you for your reply. Best to you as well.
@@cynthiariddle7310 Thank you.
:-)
David, I appreciate this video. My Dad served with 1st Batallion 9th Marines Weapons Platoon in Vietnam 66-67. There were many nights my dad was back there. That war has affected my Mother, brother and I still to this day. Unfortunately for Dad it ended in Dec of 92 at the dinner table. Whenever I talk to these guys coming home, I tell them to get help. Find a local Vet Center and go to group, council with an old vet that's been there because Crap rolls downhill and the VA doesn't give a crap about your family's PTSD. Being 12 and trying to make a decision on whether to shoot your dad or not because he's shooting the house up and throwing your mom around like a rag doll should not be an option. I'm glad I didn't pull the trigger. Thanks again for these videos.
I'm glad you didn't pull that trigger too B.
Pff it must have been so hard on you, your family and your dad.
@@BabzV yes, but made us better people and I'm glad I didn't either
@@1990hondarc30 I'm sure it did B.
I wish you well and bless you and yours, love from the Netherlands. 💜
I oversee Homeless Veteran Outreach program and a program geared toward supporting post 9/11 and pre 9/11 combat vets. It makes me sad to know the family support isn't prioritized over the vet only.
Adverse childhood trauma assessments for children of deployed vets, would be an interesting study.
I'm an Afghan korengal Valley Vet 0311. My wife dealt with my homelessness and alcoholism and my children have endured my hate and anger almost breaking up our family, I'd rather be homeless than their burden. However, my kids are way better than I will ever be and I can't help but feel so horrible for the trauma I put my kids and wife through.
That feeling will always be dug all the way down because it makes me feel really burdensome and everyday I battle wanting to make it all be forgotten and for my kids see me as fun and enjoyable. Not an asshole or angry and depressed. I hope 1 day. If I could ever help my kids understand, it was never them and that I'll always have trouble helping them process that.
@@01straycat I am a far better man being raised that way. I respect and fully understand the reason my Dad was that way and loved him for the Man and Marine he was. Tha k you for your comment and know that your kids will honor and respect you. Semper Fi
I never really thought about it but my dad is a Vietnam Vet he didn’t ever speak about his time there. Then again he was rarely home but drank heavily when he was then spent his weekends at the bar. My parents split when I was about 17 he lives alone in a small apartment now. Spends a lot of time at the VA hospital for his appointments.
My father acted this way our whole lives and he wasn't in any war.
This is true Todd. I witnessed domestic violence from my father (viet-vet) and a step father with no military background. Neither was good.
My dad went INTO Vietnam with PTSD, from dealing with his shitty upbringing from violent and abusive parents. Often the worst perpetrators of violence are those that suffered from it themselves.
Please don't take that as me justifying anything your father may have done to you; I think our generation understands better the responsibility to not continue passing down that violence.
This man’s videos should be shown in our schools!
Heart breaking to see the effects of war on the soldiers, and their children. These kids dealing with their parents trauma. You've captured their strength and respect for each other. It is beautifully done. Thank you Mr Hoffman. Wishing you continued success with your channel. 🌸😊
Always appreciate looking at ALL sides of the coin & pieces. It's helps for healing & unity on any topic or issue.
Mr. Hoffman, I was a kid during the war and went to school with many kids of veterans from that war. But we never talked about it. And I know there was immense pain there. I wish we had talked about it. It''s as if some of the tension and hostility that existed between supporters of the war, and anti-war activists in the 1960s, got relived again in the 1980s, but this time with their kids, and once again, the veterans (and their kids) were caught in the middle. This video is a gift to me, because it helps me understand my own past better.
I am a son of a Vietnam vet. Their stories brought back memories. The first time I went to stay the night with a friend. I went and hid after his dad said he was going to bed. I freaked me out when my friend kept watching TV. Only the kids of vet’s knows the amount of anxiety I was feeling. I was so trained to remain still and quiet at night so as to not wake up dad from a nightmare. I thought it was normal to play “remember where everything is so you can find it in the dark without a sound” game. My father was the greatest man in my life and we lost him to substance abuse because of that war. I wish I could have known the man before they broke him. RIP Sargent dad
Mr Hoffmann you’re the reason I check TH-cam everyday ❤️
Very interesting. I was 19 in 1989 and have many friends who could have been in any meeting like this one. One friends father in particular who suffered terribly from PTSD and drank heavily but was a very good man to those who knew him. Those who didn't and got in his way? Watch out...
Some of these young people spoke of their dads in the past tense. How sad. :(
Born in 1969 to a 22 year old dad hot off the heels from 4 years in Vietnam. At some point as a very small girl, I started tell my classmates I went to Vietnam. I thought I did because my dad's issues were always there. I was born at an Air Force Base in 1969 and I have the strangest affinity for Hueys and palm trees to this day.
Precious remarks and comments from precious people, captured in precious recordings. This is all i can say. I'm just so thankful that this happened and got recorded. Every generation has their war and every generation must be heard.
It was the Viet Nam boys (my generation as I'm 70) that were rejected the worst when coming home. My husband in 1963 was a Chem Officer & had feces, tomatoes, urine thrown on him & in his face by anti war kids when going home @ the airport. No other group of military boys were so mistreated as Viet Nam Vets...where in the WWars they got ticker tape parades, loving returns & respect. There are so many complex pieces to all of this. My husband is strict in his values but would take the 1st shot for any of his loved ones. Some guys couldn't handle it all mentally. Until the Gulf Wars there weren't recovery PTSD groups like today. This is why my Grandfather, Uncles & Dad (WWI
Love these and your channel hope you continue this
Well folks, it all just underscores the fact that war is hell and PTSD is a BEAST!!! So unfortunate that this disorder wasn't adequately addressed by the medical profession when the Vets first arrived back home. They suffered with it, and so did their children and wives.
My father was a veteran from the Indonesian independence war. Sent there as part of a 100.000 strong Dutch army to 'restore order' in 1947 as a 20 year old.
I was born in 1967 as fourth child to a family of 5 kids.
I didn't write above 'my dad', because I didn't have one. I had a father.
"Dad" sounds like having a father that loves you. I didn't have that.
At least he didn't know how to show his love.
He had a bad temper, going from laughing to mad as hell within 2 seconds for no reason at all.
The result for myself as I became an adult, is one that I didn't want children of my own.
I feel social awkward, I'm bad at judging how people will react, assuming the worst.
It's hard to describe my youth, other then saying it was bad, but only other children of veterans will truly understand.
I'd like to leave it at that.
I always felt so bad for how they were treated. The ww2 vets were royalty, so why not them. I understand more now. I was 8 in 1972. I love the music from Vietnam war movies.
Listen to the stories from the vets on this channel
War Vet's get plenty of benefits, dude. I mean, im no historian ...
My grandfather is a Marine, and served in the 3rd Division in the Pacific conflict. Mom was an only child, and Dad and his brothers had minor physical disabilities that disqualified them from service. So it was only my late father-in-law who served Navy on a nuclear submarine who could give me any perspective on Vietnam, which wasn't very much. But what I gleaned from the media-- yes, the propaganda machine ran full throttle in WWII, yet ground to a halt for Vietnam.
I can't help but wonder: the National Socialists remain demonized, while the Communists seem secretly adored- the rise (return?) of Antifa is one sign, especially since they and other social justice activists call many people Nazis, who have NO connection to Neo-Nazism, whatsoever. Then there was learning the truth about "Songbird" NoName McStain, the least that he was executed for his crimes, not dying from cancer.
@@markg8022 you miss the point. World War II was sold as a good and necessary fight, while Vietnam was decided to be a colossal mistake. The former had a well-oiled propaganda machine, while the latter had its brutalities heavily broadcast on the evening news.
@@jaklumen Right. So what point did I miss?
A great topic that goes neglected too much and too often.
"there comes a time you gotta grow up fast..."; very insightful. you can feel what trauma has done to the families and the individuals. people that have been through hell need compassion and help and must muster courage to speak up.
Thanks for the follow-up on war trauma, Mr. Hoffman! You can see it in their eyes.
"Thanks for the follow-up on war trauma" should be Dave's epitaph.
Oh my! What a gem of a video. I hope some of these people find this video!
My dad was a Vietnam vet I was one of those children it was very hard living with him. I loved him but he had PTSD anger issues depression issues. Huge work ethics.....knew not to act out or get in problem.......he held stuff inside.... certain things set him off grow up......
I was born 1968 the youngest of 7 but my dad was a Korean war vet
Thanks for these videos of veterans. I was in the infantry and both my brother and I are combat veterans, and think about my sister-in-law and niece and nephews, and my ex-wives and any future children I have. It's missing from all the talk about veterans, the secondary effects on the children and spouses, who comprise much more of the population than veterans, and who I feel are much less likely to make sense of the wars than veterans. An interesting example was my platoon leader -- *by far* the best officer I ever served under, and one of the best soldiers I have ever known -- whose father served in Vietnam. He would describe to us things that happened while growing up, and you could tell that he has trouble understanding what happened to his father, which is all the more interesting considering he himself is also a combat veteran with several tours behind him.
You're a wonderful man David. Thank you for doing this.These kids are so articulate. .
Mr Hoffman... When I see a new video from you it's an automatic like now (even before I see the full video). Your views on life, and your manner of presenting ideas through a lense, closely mirror my own views.
Thank you for continuing to share!
Were all from that same world, an abusive &/or alcoholic Vietnam Vet. Still haunts me. It's like were the only people that can appreciate what our childhoods were really like. SO much damage..... Just hang in there gents & ladies and keep seeking out help, it's helped me a bit. I've never been big on sharing but seeing that other people also went through this, seeing that I was not the only one that experienced all the unusual & scary things really helps for some reason. All I ever wanted was a normal parent & childhood but the past cannot be changed, all we can do is move forward carrying our scars and trauma - help each other and swear to never inflict what we suffered on another human being. ( Huge respect and thanks to our Women and Men in uniform for their service ) - From Australia
I wish there was more interviews like this with children of veterans from all recent wars.
I know it would never happen, but I'd love to hear what children of WW1 veterans went through with their fathers, and WW2, the Soviets in Afghanistan, Korea, Desert Storm, etc.
My dad was in Vietnam, he died a few years ago. He was dependant on Valium and Paxil and without them he’d have horrible flashbacks. He never talked about it but I remember a couple years before he died we had to switch his doctor because he got a new GP who was sure he just needed a bit of therapy and tried to stop his meds cold Turkey after nearly 30 years. I was so angry, he was TERRIFIED. He knew what was coming. He also hated the VA. Said they’d already tried to kill him he wasn’t going to let them try again.
When he returned home to rural Kentucky people threw eggs at him as he walked the couple hundred mile journey as no one would pick him up. By the time he got home he was covered in eggs and trash. It makes me cry, he was 19 or something, he didn’t have a choice.
All of your films are a treasure. They're the best kind of treasure. I don't even know how to put it in words really.
Thank you.
David Hoffman - filmmaker
@@DavidHoffmanFilmmaker So important to be an instrument of healing for all involved. Great film.
Mr. Hoffman,
Have you thought about doing another documentary involving the grown children of Vietnam vets... how their experiences have shaped the dynamics found in their own families?
My father was a Marine in Vietnam. He saw his good buddies being blown up by a mine. He went to save them and stepped on another mine. He barely survived. That memory and many more memories of the time he spent in Vietnam never left his mind until he gave up the fight in 1993. He didn’t drink alcohol until after returning from the war. He became a pretty bad alcoholic. Sadly, I knew the drunk father much more than the sober one. He left for work before I even got up for school and when he got home in the afternoon, he immediately started drinking. Within an hour, he had at least a buzz going. Within two hours, he was fully inebriated. He had severe PTSD and was in and out of the VA a lot. My mom said that he walked around the house in the wee hours of the night talking to his deceased friends. It was so hard for him. It was hard for my mother and I as well. There was a lot of emotional abuse. He could get violent, but he never touched us. Still, it affected us immensely. We felt like we were walking on eggshells all the time. I was diagnosed with PTSD early on. I have struggled with depression and anxiety throughout my life. I was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I was 33.
Anyway, if anyone wants to start communicating, please leave a response. I have never had the opportunity to meet and speak to another child of a Vietnam vet. That would be great.
These days, My videos are as you may have noticed, all created by me based on my old footage and my new commentaries. Your subject would make a fascinating video and may be plenty more than one. I do hope that someone who reads your post and is a current young filmmaker responds to you.
David Hoffman filmmaker
@@DavidHoffmanFilmmaker I think you would be the perfect guy to do this. We as kids of Combat Vets are still struggling with secondary PTSD from our Dad's time in Vietnam. This video really hit home with me.
Hello , I agree that I would love to have a round 2 of children of vietnam vets video. It is incredibly difficult to find other COVV to connect with and openly discuss our secondary pstd without feeling quilt for disrespecting our veteran dads.
I lost mine in 1977 due to complications of PSTD and witnessed him being shot to death in our family home.
There is no help available from the VA for us kids who have pstd from their trauma. I also would love to connect with other vietnam vet kids.
I have watched this video over and over because it makes me feel like I am not alone with all this.
Blessings
I would love to be able to connect with any of the other vietnam vet kids out there too.
This is one of the most amazing TH-cam accounts out there. Thank you for this - and everything else you post!
Dad never talked much about Vietnam or me for that matter. After he passed I to rationalize him, who was he really I might never know but I recommend reading The Things They Carried to anyone who wonders what they went through.
this channel is so precious.
Please keep your amazing effort up. This is so valuable
Amazing. Thank you very much.
Thank you! For the documenty David❤
Thankfully this film wasn't burned in the fire, too. Good video again.
What fire?
This was cool to watch. Thanks, Hoff.
I love your style and your passion - I wish I could find a way to make a living creating historical content like this.
The camera movement and angles give this such a fascinating feel to it. Your collection of content is so important and interesting. Commend you!
Thank you Nahte.
David Hoffman - filmmaker
I just wanted to say hi to all of you who are Vietnam vets! I’ve never really sat and talked with others about my experience with my dad being a vet. I’m 45 and my dad passed when I was 29.
I’ve joined groups regarding agent orange and have several ailments.
I’ve been struggling really hard with that and the way I was treated by my dads now widow and his funeral and not welcoming me. He wanted me to have his flag. I’m working on getting one. A lady actually is helping me. I hope someone says hi!
THANK YOU SO MUCH I'm sobbing
My father is a Vietnam vet. I was born after he got home in 75. He left my mom and my brother and I. I always hated him for that but this helped me to have a little more compassion for him. Thank you for your service dad.
Always brilliant videos
On my father’s grave: “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”
Great video. Man. I hope you have decades of film you can share. Best youtube channel I've ever found.
Thank you sir.
David Hoffman - filmmaker
It would be good to see a followup with some of these people today (30+ years later) to see how their lives are today.
Thank you
Oh my God David. Now and then youtube recommends unique and original fantastic videos, I check who made the video and it’s very often YOU! That is incredible! Thank you for your work!
Thank you for saying what you have.
David Hoffman - filmmaker
I'm The Sister Of A Vietnam Vet & I Was 8 Years Old When My Brother Did His Tour....I Related A Lot To The Movie Born In The Forth OF July & The Scenes When Ron Comes Home From The War & Gets Angrier & Angrier & More & More Violent & Scary Around His Younger Siblings....My Brother Scared Us A Lot Too & My Mom Made Him Leave The House....Then He Protested The War & Helped Our Other Brother Get Conscientious Objector Status - He Served Two Years In Vet Hospitals....
I was born 9 months to the day after my father got back from Vietnam. Spent the next 11 years living on Air Force bases around the world. He served 20 years 59-79. Air Force Strategic Air Command Elite Guard Security Police K-9. I was born in 68. Try and have anything achieve the standard of good enough for the Master Sargent. Every thing ya did no mater how hard you tried or how well you preformed ended up with a lecture/argument on how I was not getting it done and needed to do better. As a kid and teen even into my 20's I had the feeling of what's the point nothing will be good enough. So just do what you have to to get it done and over with and to hell with trying to be the best. Just get it done and over. Really had me messed up. Not to mention the learning disabilities as a result of Agent Orange altered DNA I got from him. Dyslexia and the migraine headaches that came with numbness and partial blindness. Till the migraine subsided. There were tons of good things also and I Love my father. That said I know growing up that way was not normal but border line abusive. So when anyone asks me if I served in the military. I simply say I spent 11 years on bases around the world . Let them decide what that means. 2 weeks after i was born he was sent to Clark AFB in the Philippines. The house girls raised and took care of the kids so I was learning to speak Tagalog . 3 years there and after we left . Pops was always yelling at me to stop mumbling and speak English. I was about 6 -7 when the last of it faded from my use. I only have vague memories of that time now. All my life with him it was speak up stop mumbling and when I did it was don't take that tone with me.
Sad and unfair. He missed out on the greatness of you.
David Hoffman filmmaker
@@DavidHoffmanFilmmaker So did I. I know there were so many times in my younger life that I could have achieved so much more than just getting it done and over. I just did not have the desire to try as nothing was good enough. The one thing I do thank him for was the sense of responsibility he hammered into me daily. As his father died in Normandy France during WWII I know he tried to do his best. Even if he had no father in his life to show him the way. He was there for me and tried his best. I could not ask for more from anyone.
I feel you bro. Oldest of three, a son. My guy was drafted, went to OSC, accepted his commission, and was wounded after ten months on line as a lueitentant leading a recon platoon (army) during the Cambodian invasion. He was awarded a silver star, three bronze bronze stars for Valor, three army commendation medals for Valor, a Vietnamese gallantry cross with a bronze star, a purple heart, was airborne, has a bridge named after him in his hometown, and will be buried in arlington national cemetary jan 9th, 2023. The army approached him and offered him with a spot at west point which he declined. Every father tells there sons I just want you to do better and be better than me. We'll Jesus christ, thanks for setting the bar so God damn high (pic me laughing to myself). It's a tough the day you realize you don't have a chance. Just like you, I know the not good enough, you can do better, what the he'll is wrong with you bad times for the smallest shit. I was , and still am at 47 to a less degree than my younger years, more afraid of making mistakes than standing out at most things in life. Like you said I know the good times outweigh the bad, but the bad are what sticks with you.plus I'd have been better off catching three or four black eyes a year than the words. Those stick with me. A black eye heals. My man was phenomenal at the breakdown. Build back up???? We were fortunate enough at the end of his life to understand each other much better the last 7-8yrs and I'm fortunate for that. Stay strong my man, you're a helluva lot tougher than you give yourself credit for. The best guys like us can do is be good human beings and there ain't nothing wrong with that.
Was the Normandy France death a child of a European immigrant? Something to look into if you wanted to try to understand the history. Take care.
I had a friend growing up, his dad was a Vietnam veteran. I remember staying the night over there on several occasions and his dad would never sleep. I walked out one night and saw him sitting in the dark. I asked "Why don't you go to bed?"
He looks at me and says, "I'm a bad man." That stuck with me and haunted me a bit.
He never talked about his experiences other than he remembered rifle barrels glowing red at night. He hated fire, and he also had a nasty heroine addiction from his time in Vietnam. His son, my buddy had a huge chip on his shoulder and some stories of an abusive childhood.
He was always really nice to me, though. RIP.
Veterans go into an instant state of calm when coming across an accident scene or when they suspect someone is in the yard after dark. My dad could change in a heartbeat if he heard a sound, made us hyper alert. He would totally lose it when drinking at times, lost in the ghosts of war. I was the only one in the family who could handle his psychotic breaks, when he grabbed a gun and everyone else in my family ran. I knew he’d never hurt me as long as I could go into his nightmare and slowly talk him out of it. I kept my dad alive twice from being shot by police when my neighbor called them. But he could be the most helpful and kind person who helped people. When he died the funeral home was packed with people from all walks of life. But my brothers and sisters (save for one) hated him. But as a kitten d, seeing grown men at the VA from the psych wards gave me the clear impression that many people go to war, but only their bodies came back. I realized that my dad felt safest around other GI’s. When he came closer to death he would tell us he would see GI’s in uniform telling him it’s time to move out. I think he’s with his unit in heaven, because that’s where he felt understood. Most Vietnam veteran’s kids don’t like gang or thug life videos, or understand why so many young people like to play war because we know what the reality is.
I’m an Iraq Vet Raised by a single father Vietnam Vet.
His father fought in the pacific theatre. He was infantry during WW2, but died in 1953 when my father was 5 years old.
My father grew and smoked weed, was high AF untill he went to prison. He will probably die there.
My mom’s a paranoid schizophrenic . Her parents are first cousins. No, they are not from Kentucky.
I got blown up in Iraq, combat badge and all that shit, but walked away with no physical wounds.
I had little chance of succeeding in life, yet my shitty childhood is what made me, partly.
Figured out the best way to go thru life is to just enjoy the fuck out of it. Yet this took 10 years of trying to figure out who I am since leaving Army life behind.
I remember at 11yrs old riding my bike and i passed by a garage with graffiti on it. This old guy which i later found out was a vet, stopped me with a yell and pointed his shotgun at me and asks me if i was the little shit tagging up his garage. I was shocked, i got mad with fear and said no and kept on riding and he kept on yelling, i glanced back and he was still pointing that thing at me. But damn i was in fright i didn't even tell my parents. Crazy experience
I can oddly relate to these teenagers. I was adopted as a baby. My biological father and mother met near Ft Belvoir, while my father was finishing his training at the Army Engineering Center, and preparing to be sent to Vietnam. My mother put me up for adoption, and I grew up knowing that my father was an Army soldier sent to war and never knew about me. Strange feeling, thinking about a man I never knew, off in a place I've never been to, in a war that was by 1969-70 very unpopular, to say the least.
your channel is a youtube treasury! Keep it up!!!!
I'm 53 now... I had a shotgun shoved in my mouth when I was 9.
Unspeakable things from as far back as I can remember.
Nobody thinks of us...the children of these veterans
We got with an I.E.D coming out of Bagram Air Base going through Kabul Southward on hwy 1, every time I see a green traffic light, it reminds me of it, you can imagine how many green lights you see a day.
Sounds like these vets were traumatized by the war, made their kids lives a living hell, and started decades worth of generational trauma
My father was too young for Vietnam (born in 1959), but he had an older brother, and talked about how they’d watch the draft lottery on the news regularly. Must’ve been awful. My heart goes out to all those that served.
Thank you for this video Mr. Hoffman. What about pain? It may be universal but that last kid, a young man, knew pain in a different way not unlike myself. I'm surprised that he even allowed you to interview him, even in anonymity. I am still looking forward to exploring your instruction videos on making a video (the ones sent via Heidi). I am going to stick to my current project until it is completed in rough draft form before exploring other media or outlets. I would have been that kid that refused to be shown and who had the most trouble saying it out loud that someone has used me for a shit stomping bag. I hate that America has overlooked these children/victims. Damn I hate it.
I was born in '69 to a 22 year old kid hot off the heals of 4 years in Vietnam. His DNA must have carried the experience to me because I feel like I experienced myself. My brother was born 4 years later. We were NOT raised the same. He got a kinder gentler dad. Mine was abusive and not a fan of women. My now 24 year old son gets the best version of him.
I still wish you could make your back catalogue available David - i'd certainly buy it.
My dad was a Korea and Vietnam vet. he never spoke of either but he said that Korea sucked because it got to be -60 degrees. RIP old man.
I remember waking up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and my grandfather sitting on the back porch with his .45 waiting. I don’t know when he slept
My husband’s father served in nam, and passed away of cancer from agent orange. His death still affects my husband (who is 36) till this day
Another video that touches the heart of America. Could you do a video about penitentiaries? Prisons are an overpopulated institution which has changed the lives of millions and millions of families in increasing numbers over the last thirty years. I feel this story is one that can shared by many American families.
Mr Hoffman my Father was killed in vietnam in duc lac during the tet offensive september 27 1968 6 weeks before i was born.i grew up in ny without a dad and i have a serious story to tell!
I have only met one other kid i knew growing up who lost their dad in vietnam.ive realized that ive had Ptsd most of my life
Son of a Vietnam Seal, i will never truly know what he knows. The one quote i will always remember is that he said i shouldve died with my brothers.
After spending three tours in Vietnam, my dad brought a wife, two daughters, a son & two step sons to the US. In addition to serving 26.5 years in the Navy. I had the best childhood & experience life had to offer. Today my parents are in their 70’s & plagued with health issues. I am proud of my heritage. But that hasn’t always been the case. When I was a kid my friend had a father who lost both legs in the war & later committed suicide. One sad story amid hundreds just like it.
My dad did two tours in Vietnam with one year stateside in between. I was in first grade during his first tour. My father and I were very close, and I vividly recall my first grade teacher treating me horribly. In retrospect, she was probably against the war, and found an easy target in her class. A little girl, shy, and lost without her father. Move on to 3rd grade, and I remember horrible scenes on a black and white TV we had. My mother frequently cried out, when someone was killed in action. I was a lucky kid that my dad did return home, however he was a changed man. His humor was gone, and I believe he lived with untreated PTSD. The nightly fighting like these kids, is completely relatable. Many nights my sister and I would lay in bed, eating crackers and crying until all hours of the morning. He retired after 25 years being of service to his country. He passed away in 2012, I believe feeling lied to by his employer, the government. He was the first man I fell in love with, and our love was truly unconditional, even though he grew quiet, except when he was drinking. That started after his second tour. He made himself very clear, that he believed he was helping stop the spread of communism. His priorities were, first to the flag, second was my mother, and third were his children. I never felt unloved, and I'm proud to be an Army brat.
When my dad was a kid in the 70s-80s all of his friends dad were Vietnam vets but his dad my grandfather was a ww2 vet
I hope they will also make a documentary film about the childrens of American Veteran left in Vietnam
My step-father a vet of Vietnam war and victim of agent orange, was a ptsd war vet had outbursts like a MF but he made me hard skinned I forgive him for the hate and pain as HE, my grandfather a WW2 vet was worse and beat all of my family to a dangerous extent. My whole family knows the long lasting pain the wars bring us. God bless you all thank God we have something better. Not perfect, better we will continue to do this until we give our vets 100 percent care.
I'm a vietnam vet ('68-'69), purple heart (Feb 23, 1969). I was never violent nor prone to rage when I got back (age 21). These kids weren't asked to discuss their dads' behaviors from prior to a Vietnam tour of duty. Odds are pretty good that their dads were not all that stable before heading off. With very rare exceptions, Vietnam didn't make normally healthy people become unhealthy. It was a stressful situation, for sure, but it was far more complicated than what the movies portrayed. Regarding the film, "Platoon", it was directed by Oliver Stone, a gifted story-teller but also a renowned manipulator of truth and untruth.
Jay thank-you. I have struggled with this idea when it comes to my Father. There are vets that returned that were not abusive at all. I don't think ptsd is an excuse for domestic violence.. but my aunt told me he had changed after vietnam. That he never used to act out violently. Everyone reacts to trauma differently though. I wish we knew more.
Videos like this are great! I was not born till 63 and my dad was out of the Army before the Vietnam invasion. What I lived through to this day makes me want to scream as to what happened to society. In the 60's and 70's people had class and style growing up in East Chicago. The girls in the video are from a lost time of unique beauty. They knew where their family came from in Europe like I did. I joined the military in 1984 out of desperation because the entire economy was going to shit and could not find a decent job after going to college for a couple of years. I was surrounded by the lowest IQ people I have ever seen and couldn't wait to get out. Billy Joel even sang songs about the decent jobs leaving the country in 81. When I try to explain what happened to younger people it is like talking to a dog. The public fool system has dumbed down people so much that I do not even recognize this country anymore. So we were fighting the communists? Why is it that they make everything we buy now? When people ask me my biggest complaint in life I say that I was born 10 to 15 years to late.
My father-in-law is a Vietnam veteran (I'm Irish btw), He always looked gloomy even when he's smiling. He never yelled, he never cursed, never yelled at any of his children. Extremely mellow and always look stern but gloomy kinda guy and every midnight he always woke up and sobbing to himself . And my wife said that she always a lot closer to her dad than to her mom since her mom yells more when she's angry where's her dad tended to listen and gave her advice. And when I ask his wife, she told me that he used to hunt deer when he was in high school and a bona fide school bully. After returning from Vietnam, he throws away all of his hunting gun and he hates watching horror movies. He really becomes a pacifist after return. Always quiet and reserve. It's kinda the opposite from what I've heard from the other Vietnam War veterans having a PTSD, but IMO I think he does. But every year when I visited the US he's always that old man with a lovable faint smile and always greets me and my family with an open arms and treat me with a good old southern accent. Hell, even My own kids are a lot closer to their grandpa than their grandma (Close, but they're a lot closer to their grandad). To think that this soft-spoken calm and mellow guy whom i thought at first he might be a Shaolin monk could actually be a Vietnam War Veteran was shocking to me to this day. I wonder if PTSD manifest differently to different people, i wonder?
PS = the guys got 3 Purple Heart. I would assume from what I've heard that's a medal that you get when you are injured in combat, so I think he had seen combat. I never want to talk about it since he never brings it up. He talks here and there but never really in detail but we get it from bits and pieces of his story that he told us
My dad was an explosives engineer over there in '68/'69. He was 18 when he got hit by a ceramic Chinese anti tank mine that killed a lot of guys. It never left him. Wasn't easy being his son, but he took care of us and I learned a lot, a lot of which I didn't realize till I was older.
My dad was in Korea for 2 years. The end of the war. I was 3 when he came back. My mom thinks being there made him change. He was hypercritical of me and my mom. Just verbally abusive. I’m not even sure he saw much fighting.. but it definitely changed my childhood. I’m a boomer at 70 now, and my husband is the best. I’m moody, and surely my relationship with my father didn’t help…. So some of these things I can relate to even though it wasn’t Vietnam. War is hell..