I agree. I'm at a big turning point in my life and I relate alot with the idea of accepting failure and just saying fuck it. This session really helped alot.
Dr. K is a gift to this world, and not just him, every single psychologist who is out there trying to help people. I really wish he was streaming when Etika was struggling. I'm sure he could help a lot.
I can't believe how much sense this guy makes. Every single talk there's something new he shines a gigantic beam of light on. But I never know how to apply it. Letting go of expectation and just doing makes so much sense, but how?
The way I interpret much of what he says when he talks about "letting ______ go" is to notice when you're trying to control a situation, whether that's directly or indirectly, and reminding yourself that you have no control over the outcome. Try not to focus on the goal, just your behavior and the rest will come naturally.
It's a big paradox, psychology tells you what to do, but to actually apply it you have to leave your theoretic head space and basically do the opposite of what you have been doing. Like if you tell yourself in your head "I have to let go", it kinda blocks you, at least that't what it seems to me. Psychology gives you the solution, kind of, if you believe it is the solution (let's just assume you do), but even if you have the theoretic solution, it will only block you even harder, at least from my experience. But I don't know if this applies to the majority of people or not, so might be totally different for you...
It's so true man, when I started programming in uni, I sucked at it. That's when I surrendered and accepted I was a pleb. I literally went to some classmates and told them, "you guys seem smart, teach me how this works". They did give me some pointers and I started learning insanely fast, I went from 0-50 in 4 or 5 months and at some point became one of the best of my class. I told other people "I have no idea how this works, but if you guys are good at it, I'll just be a sponge and absorb the knowledge". I ended up factually becoming a great engineer/game dev. The only danger to accept at this point is that this success leads to ego again. There's always more to learn, I think it's time to accept that again, surrender, and go for another spurt in growth. Thanks for making me and probably a lot of others realize this, love the channel.
"The only danger to accept at this point is that this success leads to ego again." Yes! Thanks for posting this, this is what Im getting caught up in all the time in endless cycles of self deprecation and over confidence
This was amazing. I really needed to hear it. I don’t stream but the concept of surrendering and letting go of expectations of outcome really hit home. Thanks Dr. K.
That's what I like about the Healthy Gamer community, we're all here able to learn from each other. And from this we can take those lessons and apply them to our own realities.
43:42 man "there's nothing you can say to make that girl fall in love with you" something so obvious and simple made me realize broke my heart but gave me hopes to stop stalling something that will never happen and move on, thank you doctor K.
His body language is really interesting throughout the whole stream. At the beginning he was looking away from the camera and then right when he started to realize he can’t control his expectations his body shifted and he started making more eye contact. Throughout the stream he just gets more an more comfortable as he realizes. really dope :)
50:41 really hit home with me. Had to pause the stream I almost broke down crying. I should be applying that way of thinking much more to my expectations.
Being a psychology student with ADD, the streams with Mizkif mean so much to me. I never knew him before this since I'm not in the "streaming world" at the moment, but I relate so so much to his struggles and I feel much less stupid seeing that there are in fact others who have this, because I don't know anyone with ADD personally.
Mizkif talks have been fairly eye opening for me and my own problems. Ive been diagnosed with ADHD and as I got older it was getting worse but i thought I was just an idiot incapable of doing shit with anxiety that will continue to smother me until I stop functioning. Turns out, while I may not be the smartest guy around, its just the ADHD. Im not stupid I just have this thing I gotta work with it. And maybe if I can let go about worrying about outcomes my anxiety could calm the fuck down and I can start living life by doing and not giving a shit. Thanks Dr.K this is what I needed.
29:50 gave me really profound insight. I felt powerless to control an outcome at work today which as a manager is awful, but this really helped me have insight into the reason that I was so stressed. I'll have to keep this in mind in the future. Thank you Dr. K.
"You are not going to act until you can guarantee a result" Spot on reasoning for the lack of "motivation" in so many people's lives, including mine. Anxiety is a bitch. The way I see it- anxiety comes from worrying about future results. And if you just worry, you will not act. If you don't act, you beat yourself up for not acting and misdiagnose it as a lack of motivation. Motivation is not the issue because we WANT to fix ourselves and are trying. It is rather than a lack of willingness to move forward and to take (appropriate) risks that causes this spiral of mental stress. So is the short answer to just grow a pair?
Basically yes. You can read a bunch of books and shit, but just growing a pair is much shorter, requires no rumination, gets you out of your mind and gets the job done.
I think a more nuanced and less critical answer than "grow a pair" is to adopt a more compassionate/realistic mindset towards yourself and let go of your perceived control towards results.
@@Anthony-kj3xw Yeah, this is really it. I don't get pissed at someone else when they attempt a new project and fail, but make a lot of progress and learn. I applaud them. But when I attempt a new project and fail, it's three days of tirade. LOL Learning. Growing. Human's are whack man.
27:30 Man, that's exactly how I feel. I've never seen someone describe exactly what I've been struggling with the past 3-5 years 28:47. Holy shit, you're amazing. I've always tried to justify everything so it makes sense but, literally everything you said throughout the whole video put me against the wall. I needed this, thank you.
Holy shit I have watched most of your videos with streamers so far and always found them eye opening and a lot of what you say rings very true but in the last 20 minutes of the video the things you said especially the closing monologue resonated so much with my position in life that I bursted out crying in a combination of grief and relief. I never ever have an emotional reaction like that but it just felt like you were speaking to my soul. I have no clue where to go from here but knowing that I am not alone in this gives me a new foundation of hope. You are great.
Imagine if all psycologists worked like Dr.K, instead of prescribing medicing after 1 minuter, and skip the talking. What a wonderful world we'd live in. You are going an amazing job dr.k, i'm not even depressed or anything, but watching you help people this way is a beautiful thing to see.
It’s a common problem with psychiatrists to downgrade the actual “word-therapy”, and that is mostly because they are schooled like actual doctors and not so much like psychologists. There should be a more balanced approach but that’s ofcourse in an ideal world.
It’s like jump king by enabling yourself jump and then fall you learn, rather just not risking and stay in the same place and never move. At the end of the day you jump more than you fell and you get the babe.
Thank you Dr. K, you are brilliant! you pushed me back on track and im so hyped to stay steadily focused and continue where i stopped. You are an Angel who came at the right Time. Non-stop watching all your videos since yesterday and dont even get bored or distracted. Life is so beautiful ..:D Oh and please try to hold on , on mizkif. You got him almost. Your Patience is grandios.. i was so "mad" that you didnt got him at 05:35.. :D To Bad. But it keeps so much patience to "wake up a Human". And you are doing it not with one , you are doing it with 100 ppl at the same time.. this is crazy :DD MIZKIF YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEEING ; YOU WERE A INSPIRATION FOR A LONG TIME! DONT BE SILLY ; YOU KNOW YOU ARE GREAT ; RELEASE THIS ENERGY AND YOU WILL SLEEP EVERYDAY LIKE A BABY Because you KNOW THEN THAT THERE IS NO REASON TO HAVE WORRIES!!!!
I love the videos but after I always go "wait but how do u fix it" I felt like ur teaching meditation as a bandaid and not fixing what's wrong with people and watching this and the first Mizkif video and it finally hit me there's nothing wrong with my brain, like holy crap it was right in front of me and I never saw it me trying to force myself to not have ADHD and be "normal" was a big part of the issue, like always ty for the videos.
wow, this was an amazing conversation! I can really relate and I think a lot of people can relate too, cause we are in some ways from the early age trained to always meet some sort of expectations, it's like a habit taught to us. I really hope that people in power would understand the seriousness of these issues and actually take action to change our education system, including mental health in the education system. And btw Mizkif you are great the way you are, some of the best streams I saw from you were when you were just yourself and honest, doing things that you like and enjoy. Keep up the good work!
Another incredible video. This made me realize why I never act or lose passions for things halfway in. It isn't a lack of motivation. It is a suppressed fear of failure. Onward to processing!
I just came from the first Mizkif stream and I just say that to express that I haven't seen much of your stuff and that's where I'm coming from. Over the years I've been to a few therapists and I've never felt that they've been able to say anything that could start me on the path of understanding or healing and It's very possible that I am not willing to open up to a level where they could even begin to help. I may just be that closed off. But these past two streams seem like they really are in that right space and maybe it's because I relate to Mizkif a lot and thus he's opening up in a way I would if I did but on the other had maybe it's because Dr. K is more able to steer the conversation in ways that I've never experienced before. I've subd and I'm gonna check out a couple more streams to see how I feel about this. Thanks for at least being able t speak to me on some level for a couple moments
This is the best interview I have watched so far. I really absofukcinglutely love it and I relate to it a lot and I needed it and I just have found it exactly in the time that I had to and I needed to
9:30 anxiety alot of it that swakes him u often 15:22 alot of stress from streaming and life 18:11 feels like constantly fightng to stay baflaot 19:44 too much growth actual bad for mental 32:00 even dr k strugged w too much too fast grwoth 26:00 usedto not always ahve ot be funny, coud relax but now it feels like ppl say why arent you being funny dnce for me monkeu 28:50 smarter u are wrose anxiety is 29:44 poa for control and anxiety is surrender 43:33 continued 33:22 deriving value from social media 35:05 social climb never ends 38:30 viewers actually dont care as much as you think, this is important realiziation need to exp it firsthand that momen someone may have said something that affect u alot but they dont even rm it what we fail to live up to is our own imagning what others expect of us not actually others
This talk is literally what I am going through. I am not happy with my work life which causes a ton of stress. Been actively working in changing what needs to be change but the progress is slow, I’m failing a lot, and I can’t control my outcome it feels like at least. I will try to work I’m letting go and focus on working to better my situation 1 day at a time but have to spend 40+ hours a week at a place that sucks my soul makes it hard to let go..
You ever like zoom out of a conversation and you think about your opinion and thoughts on this. I did that multiple times and dr.k. Literally adressed every thought from me for 40 mins straight. That was crazy.
I think i've hit anxiety cap twice so far in my life, like i cant imagine feeling like that under any real life circumstance, its especially during the night hours cause i feel like something is very wrong and no matter what anyone tells me, when it really hits hard its like how can i fall asleep when there's a chance however small that i wont wake up, i literally cannot convince myself that i m ok ever, its not even my heart pounding hard or something its i feel like i m dying from bloodloss my stomach is hot and feels bloated even when i dont want to go to the bathroom and i feel lightheaded and exhausted so much so that i can almost fall asleep in seconds when that's never been the case in my life. I cant explain exactly what i feel but its beyond real at the time, its a full body experience, i can literally be running around playing football when i ve never exercized the past 3 months and feeling like i cant even breathe while i keep playing, and then i come home to relax and it starts, even tho i would literally be dead in the field if it was actually happening, and i still cant convince myself there's nothing wrong.
I went through the EXACT some thing for like 7 months. I've been good for some months now. If you can, i would suggest going to the doctor explaining to them everything and say "i know i'm probably fine, but i want you guys to make sure i'm good so that hopefully i can convince myself i'm good because doctors checked me out and said i'm okay" They will almost 100% offer you anxiety meds and maybe even suggest seeing a psychiatrist mine did both. I told them no i only want affirmation that i'm okay and i think that should be enough. It did continue for a few months after, but know i had a weapon against it. Where anytime i thought i was going to die i would say to myself "doctors said you're fine so you're fine" then if i thought that what was happening was different at all from what i've been dealing with i would ask myself "you got two choices, go to the emergency room if we really think something is wrong or calm down" me not having the money to take a trip to ER normally decides to calm down after that lol. It sucks a lot, but i really do think going to the doctor and getting checked out is a good first step. Just say no to meds if they offer it, if you don't feel like you need it like i did. Other things that can help is just be healthy. Drink lots of water, eat good and exercise. This might be your mind trying to tell you that you're lacking somewhere in health and maybe you should focus more on that, because if you're being healthy then you're probably not going to have health problems to worry about so you won't get anxiety thinking there is something wrong. I hope i helped, i know that everyone i talked too couldn't help me at all, but it was cool so many friends and family tried to help me out. I wish you the best man!
Expectations is something I put on myself constantly. And I think a lot of us do that. I started realizing this when I started going to therapy after some tough times. To be honest I am so happy to know that people are looking for help and are realizing that the expectations we put on ourselves are the true evil inside our heads. It's something hard to work on, but just the fact that we realize that this is the problem is a huge step. Thank you so much for talking about this. It really helps to remember that I am not the only one.
Awesome stream. People becoming more aware of themselves is true human progress. Me over here catching feelings of shame and guilt for "fucking up" my life for reasons I don't even understand, while feeling like everything I want to do to understand myself (cuz thats where the reasons are @) is wrong or less important or "not for me"... Dr. K sharing his awareness of this mindset (aka his experience) and feeling that resonance... So much gratefulness, shout out to everyone on their journey lol
"You're so concerned with being a failure that you never try" - 1:00:06 "The problem is not that you lack motivation, the problem is that you're so paralyzed of failure that you're not willing to act. Understand this very carefully, that is not a lack of motivation. It's not that you're not motivated to act, it's that there's a more powerful force that paralyzes you from action" - 1:00:18 "The gap between expectation and reality is where our shame lives" - 1:08:05 "Be where you are, be pathetic, be a pleb; embrace your pleb. Embrace that you suck...and then move, move out of it" - 1:09:17 I love this guy.
Tbh This vid and the other video of mizkif have helpped me too i have the same problems as him and is was really useful to hear you talk about these issuse thank you Dr.K
I took an SSRI for 2 years, I had sleep parasomnias, kicking out and grinding to the point my teeth would break and 2-4 night terrors a night. I woke up exhausted, felt like I had run a marathon. I told my doctor, she said it wasn't a common side effect so not likely the SSRIs so for 2 years I thought it was my PTSD getting worse but as soon as I stopped the SSRIs... no night terrors, no broken teeth, mostly sleep like a baby. The main exception is if I get a cold and can't breathe through my nose so I sleep with my mouth open and then I get a bad dream to wake me up. I researched it and apparently, it is because when the tongue isn't touching the roof of the mouth then the brain sees potential for you to swallow your own tongue and will wake you up so you don't choke. The other reason I wake up is if my body temp gets too low.
I appreciate these videos a lot Dr K, it’s very helpful to me even if I can’t directly relate to certain videos they really just give me new perspectives and also ways to deal with stuff. Keep it up!
10 minutes into the talk and it already resonates so much with what I'm dealing with. Thank you so much for these videos, I'm glad I've found this channel cause I know now how much worse my mental health is than 10 years ago and how much worse it can get if I don't start doing something now.
I dont watch mizkif but after the ADHD talk and this talk I realize we struggle with the same problems. I feel like we could have a good time having a beer together! Will definitely check out his comment
i've listened to many of Dr k's streams but this one is REALLY good. I have absolutely nothing in common with Miskif's situation yet this resonates with me in many ways.
1:03:00 "when you embrace failure ,success comes" biggest paradox ever surrendering and saying fuck it experience comes from bad judgement. get to be good at being bad 😂
59:00 shame of self So wait to act Wanting a result of people saying you’re good So never post keep working on it until perfect 1:00:00 so concerned being failure you never try it’s not motivation but fear paralyzed 1:08:50 You are a normal person Ego holds you back Be where you are embrace that you suck then can move out of it
Mizkif, I don't think you read this, but you are so on point, bud. You're going to be just fine. I know control is great, but try to stay curious too. Everything you're going through is so relatable, and you're not alone in this. Thank you, and I mean it, thank you for sharing.
Thought: I feel like some things in life are way to much fun to give up about. I cant really think of anything in particular but this surely applies for single player RPGs or strategy games: Quicksave, fuck up, reload. Its the opposite of "letting things happen". It allows to be "superhuman". Its fun. So, some questions: 1. Do you think this style of playing is similiar to drug usage (Its fun, but it can ruin you.) and should be treated as such? 2. Do you think this quicksave-reload thinking can creap into real life thinking? 3. How does that compare to a painter correcting a small mistake in normal picture? You cant possibly argue that this act is tearing him apart in the long run. So, is there a rule of thumb about the border between "trying to control" and correcting/improving things? (uninteresting part below) Thank you. You guys are giving me a lot think about and it feels like since I am applying some of your ideas (even meditation in part) my life is starting to get better. If I had one wish though... I would like you to point out that this whole thing is only one approach to issues of life and that success is not guaranteed. Im just asking, because I am very excited about this new "freedom" I have nowadays and it feels almost too good. I dont want to be carried away in this hype thats build up around you; I dont want to lose the focus (for what is important) you granted me by becoming some fanatic for the cause, if that makes sense to you. Anyways, thank you Healthy Gamer GG, I think you guys are doing an awesome job!
I can imagine a timeline where dr k has helped hundreds of streamers. His influence has spread exponentially and everybody, be it streamer or viewer, are sharing the old wisdoms to those that need it. Twitch eventually becomes a place of peace and learning as well as entertainment. Like a theatre university hybrid. One day an unwashed neckbeard stumbles across a person crying on the street and stops to hug them. They ask them to share their problems and reciprocate with a few of dr k's teachings, it's made it into the real world. 100's of years later we're all floating about in unaffected bliss in nothing but white garbs with halos over our heads. A dove lands on a golden statue of a nobel peace prize winner, the statue has a pair of headphones, it's dr k I'm bored leave me alone.
"unwashed neckbeard" and "on the street" in the same sentence lol. Also, try parroting life lessons while your own life is a trainwreck and people will only laugh at you.
53:44 not caring about viewpoint because rel love and service to them Some people actually don’t decide to suicide because they saw something that brightened their day, they felt a connection like w talks machina Even if viewer count is one, you’re helping that one person and that’s all it is
It's always amazing, eye-opening and scary, hearing someone in a position like Mizkif describing the fears that I have in a way, in terms of streaming. And I'm just 5-viewers-Andy! Also, the idea that streaming is not a lifestyle. People don't think about it. Newcomers don't treat it that way. It should be more expressed that way, me think. Also, the whole talk about being entertaining hits too close to home, for someone who always thought about working with his voice, either as a streamer, comedian or radio speaker xD (And currently ended up working as a chat support, heh)
I've found that conscious anxiety makes falling asleep difficult, while subconscious anxiety makes waking up with physical symptoms more likely. Also, anxiety can be triggered by poor diet/alcohol, which often manifests during sleep.
The smarter your brain is, the more possibilities for the future your brain can create. Thus you can conjure up more potential problems and get stuck in analysis paralysis.
very last thíng you said i relate with, i think its been the primary source of my social anxiety. people just asking simple questions and they want to just hear oh im working here or studying this or that. but the real answer is well im doing nothing and depressed all the time, how about yourself? XD
It's not about a lack of motivation. The problem is that you're not going to act until you can guarantee a result. You are so concerned with being a failure that you never try. You are paralyzed by the idea that you will fail. When you let go of success and embrace failure success comes. "The biggest paradox in the universe." "Experience comes from bad judgment, good judgment comes from experience." You can't learn without failure.
So far I think this was the most "casual", most relatable talk of all.
I agree. I'm at a big turning point in my life and I relate alot with the idea of accepting failure and just saying fuck it. This session really helped alot.
@@CommanderHoes I feel the exact same way
Same here
Especially if your also struggling with ADHD
@@CommanderHoes I noticed your comment and see that it’s a year later. How did it go? Did you get a fresh start?
Dr. K is a gift to this world, and not just him, every single psychologist who is out there trying to help people. I really wish he was streaming when Etika was struggling. I'm sure he could help a lot.
I can't believe how much sense this guy makes. Every single talk there's something new he shines a gigantic beam of light on. But I never know how to apply it. Letting go of expectation and just doing makes so much sense, but how?
You answer your own question
He's doing great things on Twitch. I honestly feel like he should get some kind of sponsorship deal with them.
The way I interpret much of what he says when he talks about "letting ______ go" is to notice when you're trying to control a situation, whether that's directly or indirectly, and reminding yourself that you have no control over the outcome. Try not to focus on the goal, just your behavior and the rest will come naturally.
no expectation never disappointed
It's a big paradox, psychology tells you what to do, but to actually apply it you have to leave your theoretic head space and basically do the opposite of what you have been doing. Like if you tell yourself in your head "I have to let go", it kinda blocks you, at least that't what it seems to me. Psychology gives you the solution, kind of, if you believe it is the solution (let's just assume you do), but even if you have the theoretic solution, it will only block you even harder, at least from my experience. But I don't know if this applies to the majority of people or not, so might be totally different for you...
It's so true man, when I started programming in uni, I sucked at it. That's when I surrendered and accepted I was a pleb. I literally went to some classmates and told them, "you guys seem smart, teach me how this works". They did give me some pointers and I started learning insanely fast, I went from 0-50 in 4 or 5 months and at some point became one of the best of my class. I told other people "I have no idea how this works, but if you guys are good at it, I'll just be a sponge and absorb the knowledge".
I ended up factually becoming a great engineer/game dev.
The only danger to accept at this point is that this success leads to ego again. There's always more to learn, I think it's time to accept that again, surrender, and go for another spurt in growth.
Thanks for making me and probably a lot of others realize this, love the channel.
"The only danger to accept at this point is that this success leads to ego again." Yes! Thanks for posting this, this is what Im getting caught up in all the time in endless cycles of self deprecation and over confidence
This was amazing. I really needed to hear it. I don’t stream but the concept of surrendering and letting go of expectations of outcome really hit home. Thanks Dr. K.
That's what I like about the Healthy Gamer community, we're all here able to learn from each other. And from this we can take those lessons and apply them to our own realities.
43:42 man "there's nothing you can say to make that girl fall in love with you" something so obvious and simple made me realize broke my heart but gave me hopes to stop stalling something that will never happen and move on, thank you doctor K.
Not that line specifically but the sentence made me cry. The you cannot control your future/guarantee success. (i have anxiety problems)
Without knowing the context that sounds false.
@@YoMaM87 no it doesnt
His body language is really interesting throughout the whole stream. At the beginning he was looking away from the camera and then right when he started to realize he can’t control his expectations his body shifted and he started making more eye contact. Throughout the stream he just gets more an more comfortable as he realizes. really dope :)
his body language hardly changes and he looks away to focus on what dr k is saying if you watched the first miz vid with dr k youd know that
@@MrBigCheeeze it's something people with ADHD do to help them focus.
No clue on how to read body language.
50:41 really hit home with me. Had to pause the stream I almost broke down crying. I should be applying that way of thinking much more to my expectations.
Jonathan Parsons FR
Same here brother
dog you need help lmao
French Toast y u think we watchin healthygamer
9:19 to 9:24 really hit home with me
Being a psychology student with ADD, the streams with Mizkif mean so much to me. I never knew him before this since I'm not in the "streaming world" at the moment, but I relate so so much to his struggles and I feel much less stupid seeing that there are in fact others who have this, because I don't know anyone with ADD personally.
"If its a closet it must not have ventilation"
"it does"
Mizkif looked SOOO proud of himself lol
Mizkif talks have been fairly eye opening for me and my own problems. Ive been diagnosed with ADHD and as I got older it was getting worse but i thought I was just an idiot incapable of doing shit with anxiety that will continue to smother me until I stop functioning. Turns out, while I may not be the smartest guy around, its just the ADHD. Im not stupid I just have this thing I gotta work with it. And maybe if I can let go about worrying about outcomes my anxiety could calm the fuck down and I can start living life by doing and not giving a shit. Thanks Dr.K this is what I needed.
AOE Healing at its finest !
Look at drs eyebrows when he says “ I wasn’t worried I’d be found in my dream because I was in a wheel barrow” hahahah that was good
Time?
TheFiith 5:49
29:50 gave me really profound insight. I felt powerless to control an outcome at work today which as a manager is awful, but this really helped me have insight into the reason that I was so stressed. I'll have to keep this in mind in the future. Thank you Dr. K.
You're doing great buddy
"You are not going to act until you can guarantee a result" Spot on reasoning for the lack of "motivation" in so many people's lives, including mine. Anxiety is a bitch. The way I see it- anxiety comes from worrying about future results. And if you just worry, you will not act. If you don't act, you beat yourself up for not acting and misdiagnose it as a lack of motivation. Motivation is not the issue because we WANT to fix ourselves and are trying. It is rather than a lack of willingness to move forward and to take (appropriate) risks that causes this spiral of mental stress. So is the short answer to just grow a pair?
Basically yes. You can read a bunch of books and shit, but just growing a pair is much shorter, requires no rumination, gets you out of your mind and gets the job done.
I think a more nuanced and less critical answer than "grow a pair" is to adopt a more compassionate/realistic mindset towards yourself and let go of your perceived control towards results.
@@Anthony-kj3xw Yeah, this is really it. I don't get pissed at someone else when they attempt a new project and fail, but make a lot of progress and learn. I applaud them. But when I attempt a new project and fail, it's three days of tirade. LOL Learning. Growing. Human's are whack man.
@@Anthony-kj3xw Ya if you frame it as grow a pair you're more likely to beat yourself up over messing up. The sentiment is correct though
You’ve put into words what I’ve been feeling lately thank you
"I was riding in an electric wheelbarrow in the street"
-Mizkif
"I wasn't scared, cuz I was riding an electric wheelbarrow, y'know?"
No. No I don't
@@JesperoTV That's such a great quote lol
Bruh that’s actually so relatable. My dreams never make sense
I believe it
27:30 Man, that's exactly how I feel. I've never seen someone describe exactly what I've been struggling with the past 3-5 years 28:47. Holy shit, you're amazing. I've always tried to justify everything so it makes sense but, literally everything you said throughout the whole video put me against the wall. I needed this, thank you.
Holy shit I have watched most of your videos with streamers so far and always found them eye opening and a lot of what you say rings very true but in the last 20 minutes of the video the things you said especially the closing monologue resonated so much with my position in life that I bursted out crying in a combination of grief and relief. I never ever have an emotional reaction like that but it just felt like you were speaking to my soul. I have no clue where to go from here but knowing that I am not alone in this gives me a new foundation of hope. You are great.
Mizkifs improvement from the last video is insane, even in the first few minutes
Imagine if all psycologists worked like Dr.K, instead of prescribing medicing after 1 minuter, and skip the talking. What a wonderful world we'd live in. You are going an amazing job dr.k, i'm not even depressed or anything, but watching you help people this way is a beautiful thing to see.
psychiatrists* but yeah you're right
It’s a common problem with psychiatrists to downgrade the actual “word-therapy”, and that is mostly because they are schooled like actual doctors and not so much like psychologists. There should be a more balanced approach but that’s ofcourse in an ideal world.
2 years later and this helped me. Dr. K on fear of failure really gave me a lot of "ahha" moments. Thank you
Holy heck he is me (and I'm sure a lot of others) but with 1000x the viewer count. This was very encouraging and helpful, thank you.
It’s like jump king by enabling yourself jump and then fall you learn, rather just not risking and stay in the same place and never move. At the end of the day you jump more than you fell and you get the babe.
xqcL I was there
xqcL I was there
Thank you Dr. K, you are brilliant! you pushed me back on track and im so hyped to stay steadily focused and continue where i stopped. You are an Angel who came at the right Time. Non-stop watching all your videos since yesterday and dont even get bored or distracted. Life is so beautiful ..:D Oh and please try to hold on , on mizkif. You got him almost.
Your Patience is grandios.. i was so "mad" that you didnt got him at 05:35.. :D To Bad. But it keeps so much patience to "wake up a Human". And you are doing it not with one , you are doing it with 100 ppl at the same time.. this is crazy :DD
MIZKIF YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL HUMAN BEEING ; YOU WERE A INSPIRATION FOR A LONG TIME! DONT BE SILLY ; YOU KNOW YOU ARE GREAT ; RELEASE THIS ENERGY AND YOU WILL SLEEP EVERYDAY LIKE A BABY Because you KNOW THEN THAT THERE IS NO REASON TO HAVE WORRIES!!!!
I love the videos but after I always go "wait but how do u fix it" I felt like ur teaching meditation as a bandaid and not fixing what's wrong with people and watching this and the first Mizkif video and it finally hit me there's nothing wrong with my brain, like holy crap it was right in front of me and I never saw it me trying to force myself to not have ADHD and be "normal" was a big part of the issue, like always ty for the videos.
wow, this was an amazing conversation! I can really relate and I think a lot of people can relate too, cause we are in some ways from the early age trained to always meet some sort of expectations, it's like a habit taught to us. I really hope that people in power would understand the seriousness of these issues and actually take action to change our education system, including mental health in the education system. And btw Mizkif you are great the way you are, some of the best streams I saw from you were when you were just yourself and honest, doing things that you like and enjoy. Keep up the good work!
Another incredible video. This made me realize why I never act or lose passions for things halfway in. It isn't a lack of motivation. It is a suppressed fear of failure. Onward to processing!
I just came from the first Mizkif stream and I just say that to express that I haven't seen much of your stuff and that's where I'm coming from.
Over the years I've been to a few therapists and I've never felt that they've been able to say anything that could start me on the path of understanding or healing and It's very possible that I am not willing to open up to a level where they could even begin to help. I may just be that closed off.
But these past two streams seem like they really are in that right space and maybe it's because I relate to Mizkif a lot and thus he's opening up in a way I would if I did but on the other had maybe it's because Dr. K is more able to steer the conversation in ways that I've never experienced before. I've subd and I'm gonna check out a couple more streams to see how I feel about this. Thanks for at least being able t speak to me on some level for a couple moments
This is the best interview I have watched so far. I really absofukcinglutely love it and I relate to it a lot and I needed it and I just have found it exactly in the time that I had to and I needed to
9:30 anxiety alot of it that swakes him u often
15:22 alot of stress from streaming and life
18:11 feels like constantly fightng to stay baflaot
19:44 too much growth actual bad for mental
32:00 even dr k strugged w too much too fast grwoth
26:00 usedto not always ahve ot be funny, coud relax but now it feels like ppl say why arent you being funny dnce for me monkeu
28:50 smarter u are wrose anxiety is
29:44 poa for control and anxiety
is surrender
43:33 continued
33:22 deriving value from social media
35:05 social climb never ends
38:30 viewers actually dont care as much as you think, this is important realiziation need to exp it firsthand that momen
someone may have said something that affect u alot but they dont even rm it
what we fail to live up to is our own imagning what others expect of us not actually others
just love your talk with @Mizkif and your words in the end
These vods are genuinely helping me in my day to day life.
that cozy smile when Dr. K said "we're all a bunch of plebs" was beautiful
This talk is literally what I am going through. I am not happy with my work life which causes a ton of stress. Been actively working in changing what needs to be change but the progress is slow, I’m failing a lot, and I can’t control my outcome it feels like at least. I will try to work I’m letting go and focus on working to better my situation 1 day at a time but have to spend 40+ hours a week at a place that sucks my soul makes it hard to let go..
psych is my life, i’m majoring in it. these videos are a God-send.
You ever like zoom out of a conversation and you think about your opinion and thoughts on this. I did that multiple times and dr.k. Literally adressed every thought from me for 40 mins straight. That was crazy.
I think i've hit anxiety cap twice so far in my life, like i cant imagine feeling like that under any real life circumstance, its especially during the night hours cause i feel like something is very wrong and no matter what anyone tells me, when it really hits hard its like how can i fall asleep when there's a chance however small that i wont wake up, i literally cannot convince myself that i m ok ever, its not even my heart pounding hard or something its i feel like i m dying from bloodloss my stomach is hot and feels bloated even when i dont want to go to the bathroom and i feel lightheaded and exhausted so much so that i can almost fall asleep in seconds when that's never been the case in my life. I cant explain exactly what i feel but its beyond real at the time, its a full body experience, i can literally be running around playing football when i ve never exercized the past 3 months and feeling like i cant even breathe while i keep playing, and then i come home to relax and it starts, even tho i would literally be dead in the field if it was actually happening, and i still cant convince myself there's nothing wrong.
@@JohnSmith0010 thank you
I went through the EXACT some thing for like 7 months. I've been good for some months now. If you can, i would suggest going to the doctor explaining to them everything and say "i know i'm probably fine, but i want you guys to make sure i'm good so that hopefully i can convince myself i'm good because doctors checked me out and said i'm okay" They will almost 100% offer you anxiety meds and maybe even suggest seeing a psychiatrist mine did both. I told them no i only want affirmation that i'm okay and i think that should be enough. It did continue for a few months after, but know i had a weapon against it. Where anytime i thought i was going to die i would say to myself "doctors said you're fine so you're fine" then if i thought that what was happening was different at all from what i've been dealing with i would ask myself "you got two choices, go to the emergency room if we really think something is wrong or calm down" me not having the money to take a trip to ER normally decides to calm down after that lol. It sucks a lot, but i really do think going to the doctor and getting checked out is a good first step. Just say no to meds if they offer it, if you don't feel like you need it like i did. Other things that can help is just be healthy. Drink lots of water, eat good and exercise. This might be your mind trying to tell you that you're lacking somewhere in health and maybe you should focus more on that, because if you're being healthy then you're probably not going to have health problems to worry about so you won't get anxiety thinking there is something wrong. I hope i helped, i know that everyone i talked too couldn't help me at all, but it was cool so many friends and family tried to help me out. I wish you the best man!
Expectations is something I put on myself constantly. And I think a lot of us do that. I started realizing this when I started going to therapy after some tough times. To be honest I am so happy to know that people are looking for help and are realizing that the expectations we put on ourselves are the true evil inside our heads. It's something hard to work on, but just the fact that we realize that this is the problem is a huge step. Thank you so much for talking about this. It really helps to remember that I am not the only one.
Awesome stream. People becoming more aware of themselves is true human progress. Me over here catching feelings of shame and guilt for "fucking up" my life for reasons I don't even understand, while feeling like everything I want to do to understand myself (cuz thats where the reasons are @) is wrong or less important or "not for me"... Dr. K sharing his awareness of this mindset (aka his experience) and feeling that resonance... So much gratefulness, shout out to everyone on their journey lol
This hit home in so many points. Thanks Dr. K.
This session was amazing . Thank you for doing what you do and please know that people appreciate it very much.
"You're so concerned with being a failure that you never try" - 1:00:06
"The problem is not that you lack motivation, the problem is that you're so paralyzed of failure that you're not willing to act. Understand this very carefully, that is not a lack of motivation. It's not that you're not motivated to act, it's that there's a more powerful force that paralyzes you from action" - 1:00:18
"The gap between expectation and reality is where our shame lives" - 1:08:05
"Be where you are, be pathetic, be a pleb; embrace your pleb. Embrace that you suck...and then move, move out of it" - 1:09:17
I love this guy.
this was so beautiful. i feel like a huge weight has been lifted, thank you so much.
Loving this series with Mizkif, thanks for sharing your wisdom & experience (both of you) with all of us
Tbh This vid and the other video of mizkif have helpped me too i have the same problems as him and is was really useful to hear you talk about these issuse thank you Dr.K
I took an SSRI for 2 years, I had sleep parasomnias, kicking out and grinding to the point my teeth would break and 2-4 night terrors a night. I woke up exhausted, felt like I had run a marathon. I told my doctor, she said it wasn't a common side effect so not likely the SSRIs so for 2 years I thought it was my PTSD getting worse but as soon as I stopped the SSRIs... no night terrors, no broken teeth, mostly sleep like a baby. The main exception is if I get a cold and can't breathe through my nose so I sleep with my mouth open and then I get a bad dream to wake me up. I researched it and apparently, it is because when the tongue isn't touching the roof of the mouth then the brain sees potential for you to swallow your own tongue and will wake you up so you don't choke. The other reason I wake up is if my body temp gets too low.
Teeth grinding is a very common side effect of SSRIs...
"The gap between expectation and reality is where our shame lives." - 1:08:00
GOD DAMN that's a fucking crit
I appreciate these videos a lot Dr K, it’s very helpful to me even if I can’t directly relate to certain videos they really just give me new perspectives and also ways to deal with stuff. Keep it up!
10 minutes into the talk and it already resonates so much with what I'm dealing with. Thank you so much for these videos, I'm glad I've found this channel cause I know now how much worse my mental health is than 10 years ago and how much worse it can get if I don't start doing something now.
damn you Dr. K you got me this time
I dont watch mizkif but after the ADHD talk and this talk I realize we struggle with the same problems. I feel like we could have a good time having a beer together! Will definitely check out his comment
ending of this one always make me smile
This was amazing, I rlly needed to hear that.
Somehow the way he kept taking notes was very adorable
what we do in the shadows is an absolute gem!
Dude, wow. I relate to this so much. I'm always thinking, always planning, always trying to entertain. This video is what I need to hear right now.
1:03:09 “When you embrace failure success comes.”
But
i've listened to many of Dr k's streams but this one is REALLY good. I have absolutely nothing in common with Miskif's situation yet this resonates with me in many ways.
holy shit thank you. you saved me 🙏
The surrender part is what I needed right now! Thank you 😊
Yes! I've been waiting for this
Dr. K's reactions to people's growth and strong conclusions are so heart-warming haha!
Wowie. What a perspective.
1:03:00
"when you embrace failure ,success comes"
biggest paradox ever
surrendering and saying fuck it
experience comes from bad judgement. get to be good at being bad 😂
so much respect for both of these guys
59:00 shame of self
So wait to act
Wanting a result of people saying you’re good
So never post keep working on it until perfect
1:00:00 so concerned being failure you never try it’s not motivation but fear paralyzed
1:08:50
You are a normal person
Ego holds you back
Be where you are embrace that you suck then can move out of it
Mizkif, I don't think you read this, but you are so on point, bud. You're going to be just fine. I know control is great, but try to stay curious too. Everything you're going through is so relatable, and you're not alone in this. Thank you, and I mean it, thank you for sharing.
37:02 Dr.K got him deep here
23:25 here too never seen miz tear up.
"You have to meet yourself where you're at" - Dr. K 👏
the beginning part is also worth watching
AoE healing me ty Dr.K
I feel like dr k is a real life wizard.
Thought:
I feel like some things in life are way to much fun to give up about. I cant really think of anything in particular but this surely applies for single player RPGs or strategy games: Quicksave, fuck up, reload.
Its the opposite of "letting things happen". It allows to be "superhuman". Its fun.
So, some questions:
1. Do you think this style of playing is similiar to drug usage (Its fun, but it can ruin you.) and should be treated as such?
2. Do you think this quicksave-reload thinking can creap into real life thinking?
3. How does that compare to a painter correcting a small mistake in normal picture? You cant possibly argue that this act is tearing him apart in the long run. So, is there a rule of thumb about the border between "trying to control" and correcting/improving things?
(uninteresting part below)
Thank you. You guys are giving me a lot think about and it feels like since I am applying some of your ideas (even meditation in part) my life is starting to get better.
If I had one wish though... I would like you to point out that this whole thing is only one approach to issues of life and that success is not guaranteed. Im just asking, because I am very excited about this new "freedom" I have nowadays and it feels almost too good. I dont want to be carried away in this hype thats build up around you; I dont want to lose the focus (for what is important) you granted me by becoming some fanatic for the cause, if that makes sense to you.
Anyways, thank you Healthy Gamer GG, I think you guys are doing an awesome job!
I watched these when I started watching miz but now that I've been watching for a while I rewatched them again.
I needed to hear a lot of this. wishing you both the best
This was better than the last miz one in my opinion.
I can imagine a timeline where dr k has helped hundreds of streamers. His influence has spread exponentially and everybody, be it streamer or viewer, are sharing the old wisdoms to those that need it. Twitch eventually becomes a place of peace and learning as well as entertainment. Like a theatre university hybrid.
One day an unwashed neckbeard stumbles across a person crying on the street and stops to hug them. They ask them to share their problems and reciprocate with a few of dr k's teachings, it's made it into the real world.
100's of years later we're all floating about in unaffected bliss in nothing but white garbs with halos over our heads. A dove lands on a golden statue of a nobel peace prize winner, the statue has a pair of headphones, it's dr k
I'm bored leave me alone.
"unwashed neckbeard" and "on the street" in the same sentence lol. Also, try parroting life lessons while your own life is a trainwreck and people will only laugh at you.
That made me laugh irl
53:44 not caring about viewpoint because rel love and service to them
Some people actually don’t decide to suicide because they saw something that brightened their day, they felt a connection like w talks machina
Even if viewer count is one, you’re helping that one person and that’s all it is
i needed this - thanks literally
It's always amazing, eye-opening and scary, hearing someone in a position like Mizkif describing the fears that I have in a way, in terms of streaming. And I'm just 5-viewers-Andy!
Also, the idea that streaming is not a lifestyle. People don't think about it. Newcomers don't treat it that way. It should be more expressed that way, me think.
Also, the whole talk about being entertaining hits too close to home, for someone who always thought about working with his voice, either as a streamer, comedian or radio speaker xD
(And currently ended up working as a chat support, heh)
You do an awesome job Dr K 👍 I am not a gamer but love listening to your videos😊 Very interesting 😊
I watching this at 4 in morning relating this to school and expectations...
I've found that conscious anxiety makes falling asleep difficult, while subconscious anxiety makes waking up with physical symptoms more likely. Also, anxiety can be triggered by poor diet/alcohol, which often manifests during sleep.
what are you even talking about you must be so lost in your mind its unbelievable
Thank you ♥
28:50 ~ So the smarter you are the more potential for problems you have?
The smarter your brain is, the more possibilities for the future your brain can create. Thus you can conjure up more potential problems and get stuck in analysis paralysis.
This is exactly what happens to me at night. I have adhd pretty bad and I haven’t been getting good sleep and this is helping alot
Damn the ending with the simple questions made me relate hard
Lesson for today! Before start streaming: meditate for years!
It is amazing how logical some things sound that I used to struggle with or still struggle with.
But I really need to work on my procrastination...
very last thíng you said i relate with, i think its been the primary source of my social anxiety. people just asking simple questions and they want to just hear oh im working here or studying this or that. but the real answer is well im doing nothing and depressed all the time, how about yourself? XD
Thanks for being there for me mizkif (never watched him but shh)
Thank you
aaaaand this is my favorite video.
Immense wisdom in this video. Wow
This helped a lot with my League mental.
59:02 hits hard man. Dang.
49:11 u2
If only Matt knew that when he laughs... we laugh..
Thank you, so much
41:38 I he say "the problem is with 'want'", but I'm pretty sure his real problem is with the "you" part
It's not about a lack of motivation. The problem is that you're not going to act until you can guarantee a result.
You are so concerned with being a failure that you never try.
You are paralyzed by the idea that you will fail.
When you let go of success and embrace failure success comes.
"The biggest paradox in the universe."
"Experience comes from bad judgment, good judgment comes from experience."
You can't learn without failure.
Too fucking real