I updated the video because I realized the crucial subtitles were missing due to an editing oversight. I apologize to those who commented on my previous video.🙇♀
Sorry but i think you must be very jealous and bitter about german this is why you don’t show you’re face! I‘m a german women and i can’t save my self even for just one day from the attention from men here in Germany especially from you‘re asian men so i don’t know why you are talking so much BS! It would be better if you don‘t try to be too artificial because if men don’t like they won’t even like you with Make-up too! I know not everyone has blue big eyes with black long lashes and blond long hair like me but that doesn’t mean that you have to be jealous of german women just support them and they will support you because i like you asian women a lot here in Germany because you are normally very decent like me but women like you destroy friendly relationships between women all around the world!
Finnish women are quite similar to German. We are practical, hardy and do not care about looking cute or wearing high brand goods. But this doesn't make us any less women, now does it? 😉 Womanhood comes from the inside, every female has a different approach to it. Even if I don't look desirable/cute/feminine, I can still feel like it.
Exactly, it seems that asian culture is hyper focused on materialism and looking fancy and their culture is super judgmental and toxic. I love Germany so much since has everything I look for starting from the gloomy weather, endless opportunities to work, people mind their own business etc.
Iam a Hispanic woman living in Germany. I have a different view about feminity, more similar to the Japanese. Iam femenine, love my perfumes, makeup, dresses. I care about details, never changed myself for the sake of fitting to the rest. I will never own a paar of Birkenstocks.
I am Italian and I am living in Germany since 11 years now. In my home country all ladies put a lot of efforts and make up, fashion and elegance and I used to do the same. But I never felt so feminine like in the last years of my life in Germany. Here I feel much more connected to nature and simplicity and this is for me the quintessence of feminity :) It is a very individual concept...
@@Jan-is3qlich hätte auf Deutsch kommentieren können, klar, aber ich denke, dass das Publikum von der TH-camrin international ist. Daher ist die englische Sprache in diesem Fall geeigneter. Liebe Grûße
As a german woman not having any pants in my closet, I can tell you: do not let the outer world define you. Neither in Japan nor in Germany. Being feminine comes from the deep self inside. You need to accept your inner self. And also your body. There is no need to cover a body just because women's bodies have short legs or anything else. Nothing is wrong with us. We are what we are. I think this change you experience is the door to a deeper understanding of what you are. Have a good journey!
Also she shouldn't worry to feel overdressed, it's more important to feel comfortable and confident in your own skin. I know it's hard for people, coming from a culture where the most important thing is, what others think about you but the most important should be you and your happiness. Be yourself as long it doesn't hurt others.
I am a german woman. In my opinion being feminine is not being weak. I am very sexy in my bedroom. I am very strong in my job. I am never cute because I am an adult, not a child. I fight back in evil situations. I adore japanese samurai women, who defendet their homes with weapons. Their men were mostly absent, and the women were masters of the weapon naginata. Tough women. I trained japanese fighting arts my whole life (in germany). Several black belts.
Feminine is Yin. It is the receptive part, the soft part. Cuteness, softness, giving-in-ness is part of the feminine! If this lady here tells us she has lost her femininity, then this is true! You ladies here defending the toughness and negating her experience, step into your softness and your strength and let a fellow women express her feelings without guilt or judgement! I know it‘s painful we as, especially Western women are only safe to express our more independent feminine qualities, but don‘t reject your gentle and soft, light feminine side.!
@@roselienchen9886 In order to be soft you need to be strong. The feminine is fierce and powerful. That's why that energy was suppresed for thousands of years. The masculine/yang is the sun and therefore the light. The feminine/yin is the moon and therefore the shadow and dark aspects. The very gentle feminine energy is actually femenine energy when it has not reached a mature state. When feminine energy goes from the maiden/princess evolutionary stage into the mother/queen evolutionary stage is when she becomes fierce, powerful and fearless. All female beings in the animal kingdom are very strong and powerful when it comes to defeding their cubs. There is nothing more dangerous than an angry mother. This lady 's well-being was menaced and another woman, because of her maternal instincts, step up and defended her. There is no need to be a mother to reach the mature feminine, btw. But when one becomes a mother that energy is necessary.
Please take into consideration that being feminine doesn't mean being weak. Even if societies tend to tell us so, in order to keep the "Status Quo". Define your own femininity. Who else could do it better?
Northern European women, including German, Scandinavian and Dutch, tend to be strong and practical. Perhaps it's the cold, harsher climate combined with our culture. People had to be strong to survive in a cold and often also dark (in winter) Europe. It's how we roll and it's what we like. Personally I feel it's freeing to live like this and to also have more of a natural equality as both genders are strong. Perhaps it's a different definition of feminity or womanhood. It doesn't mean we're not feminine, just that there's a strength and perhaps more of a freedom there too. I love it. I love that we wear practical shoes like sneakers for example (also due to the climate, it just makes sense). It feels freeing and just right.
A lady from Poland asked me, why German women don't wear make up or dress more feminin. She said, in her Country women dress more stylish. It is just one Country further east! And she was right.
english woman are a lot more feminine fashionwise , I know I am half german half english . english women want to be cute and sexy at the same time , some more Ladylike, thats why I buy my dresses and skirts in England , and I stand out in my communilty cause I rather wear a skirt with boots than jeans in harsh weather . so I can fully understand what you mean .
@ec2402 I know what you mean. I don't think it's the cold & harshness though. Russia is very cold & harsh, and their women are traditionally very "styled" and the patriarchy is strong (heavy). I think it's rather the Germanic culture/mentality. I think women in Germanic cultures were considered strong (compared to many other cultures) and treated more equally (in ancient/ pre-medieval times). Whenever I helped friends from Russia move, women were expected to "just" clean (the new bathroom or windows etc.), not to carry boxes or furniture.. I always cringed (being from Germany).
@@nicolejansen3804 In Germany being too styled up (outside of festive occasions etc.) somehow is considered a bit immature, unprofessional and silly. No reliable/reputable person in office/business usually would appear like it. Maybe a bit like some guy walking "with razorblades under his arms", driving a silly sportscar.. I think Germans view this a bit like it's what you tend to do if you don't have "anything else to offer" (regarding skills etc). I don't know, hope I could explain it a bit.
The point is you can look like you want in Germany either if you want a cute or sexy look, you can do what you like. Wear your clothes with pride and everybody will accept. Greetings from a German, hopefully cute woman.
"Everyone will accept" no they wont😅 Ich habe vor 2 Jahren sämtliche Hosen rausgeschmissen weil ich mich nie wohl in ihnen gefühlt hatte ,seit ich Röcke und Kleider + Strumpfhosen trage ,werde ich regelmäßig angefeindet von Kollegen und teilweise auch Verwandten. Meine Verwandten fragen mich wann ich mich endlich "kleide wie eine Frau und nicht wie ein Mädchen" da es ihrer Meinung nach nur beim Schulabschluss/Feierlichkeiten und der Hochzeit ok für einen Frau ist ein Kleid zu tragen. Ansonsten wirkt sie kindisch im Sommerkleid bzw Alltag. Eine Kollegin wurde einfach nicht müde mir jeden einzelnen Tag zu sagen "hey du trägst gern Kleider oder" du hast ja schon wieder einen Rock an " oder auch andere Kollegen mit reinzuziehen "guck mal sie hat schon wieder ein Kleid/Rock an" man sollte meinen dass es nach Monaten langweilig wird aber nein , auch nach 6 Monaten wartet sie scheinbar noch sehnsüchtig darauf dass ich endlich in Hosen aufkreuzen werde. Mein Vorgesetzter (er hat einen religiösen Hintergrund) wollte mich wegen meines Rock (knielang mit blickdichter Strumpfhose) von der Arbeit suspendieren und eine Abmahnung ausstellen, beides konnte ich mit Androhung meines Anwaltes stilllegen . Er plant jetzt aber eine "Hosenpflicht" für Frauen am Arbeitsplatz in die Kleiderordnung zu integrieren. Als Reaktion darauf haben 2 weitere Kolleginnen sich ebenfalls gekleidet wie ich ,um ein Statement zu setzen. Freunde mit einem ähnlichen femininen Style haben ähnliche Erfahrungen gemacht wie ich. Es ist irrsinnig und traurig was in Deutschland abgeht.
@@milchbrotchen2930 Komischer Chef und komische Kollegen, sowas habe ich echt noch nie gehört. Was haben Kleider mit "Mädchen" zu tun? Aber wahrscheinlich gehen die bei Euch auch alle zum Lachen in den Keller. Wir hatten bei uns mal eine ganze Zeit lang eine externe Kollegin, die hat nur Kleider getragen und da hat niemand irgendwas gesagt. Ich drücke alle Daumen dafür, dass sich nicht so ein schwachsinniges "Hosengebot" durchsetzt!
@@milchbrotchen2930 Es tut mir sehr leid, dass Du solche Erfahrungen gemacht hast. Bei meiner Arbeitsstelle interessiert es keinen, was man trägt. Und überhaupt, was hat Rock tragen mit mädchenhaft zu tun? Ich persönlich trage lieber Hosen und nur gelegentlich Rock oder Kleid, aber meine fast 70Jährige Mutter trägt oft Röcke - es ist eben ihr Stil! Ich würde ja sagen, lass Dir von Deinen merkwürdigen Mitmenschen nicht die Laune verderben, aber wenn es schon einen Anwalt erfordert... Ich hoffe, Du findest eine bessere Arbeitsstelle.
@milchbrotchen, tja Pech gehabt denke ich. Ich musste vor 30 Jahren auf meiner Arbeitsstelle Röcke/Kleider tragen, es war Pflicht. Ich habe es damals gerne gemacht, heute bin ich froh und trage nur noch Hosen oder Culottes, Richtung sportiv, finde ich jetzt schöner. Grundsätzlich sollte jeder tragen, was er/sie mag und deshalb nicht angemacht werden…
You did not lose your feminity. You simply lost the urge to obey to standards, that are not in your favor as a human being. In Germany, you can think for yourself and define yourself, as to who you may want to be. And live your personality to the fullest. Besides, there are lots of housewives in Germany, so, if you dream to become one, it is for sure possible - depending on your partner (literally). I woudn‘t want to be one, but I am fine with others to chose this lifestyle. „Leben und leben lassen“ - as we Germany say.
@sphaera177 If she feels like she has lost her femininity, just believe her. I can agree to most things she said. Yes, it is not common for a woman to be a housewife in Germany. Migrants from Poland, Middle Eastern countries do that a lot, but among German women, there is a lot of peer pressure to be as ambitious and successful as men. And yes, cute women are rarely seen, except teenage fan girls of anime/manga/k.pop etc. And besides, unless you`re living in Berlin, people won`t tolerate too much eccentricity at all. Think for yourself? Only on the surface.
@@annaconda76 I always lived in small towns and yes, some people might look at you in a funny way, but I always wear what I want and get mostly compliments for my style (very punk-ish, with more or less feminine/glamorous expression depending on my modd and where I go), rarely ever did someone look down on me or make a bashing comment. And IF that happens, it doesn't matter - it's telling about their superficial attitude, not mine. I don't have to let their opinions on style rule my fashion choices. Actually, I refuse to let opinions rule anything in my life at all - I have to live with my decisions and feel comfortable in my skin, not them. Even if you tried to be liked by everyone, you never will. I don't need their allowance to wear what I want 🤷🏼♀️
I wear skirts and dresses every day. Its my choice to wear it-i love it. But i am a woman who can stand up for myself and my opinion so in germany dont mean if you wear dresses or feminin clothes you can't stand up for you rights and your opinion. You can do both of it and this is waht i love about my country.
In a decently run company in Germany, the personnel will be calculated for a certain percentage of absence due to vacation/sick leave/maternity/paternity/people going to seminars etc. No need for a bad conscience. Don't let employers use your bad conscience against you---that's one of the most heinous psychological tricks in their playbook, and is exploitation.
I think women in many European countries not wearing skirts and dresses has a lot to do with the fact that they don’t grow up having to wear gendered school uniforms - for example, in the Uk and Ireland, where girls need to wear skirts from grade 1 to university, a lot more skirts and dresses are worn in general. I’m German and have lived in Japan, UK and some other European countries. As I enjoy dressing up, i sometimes think it’s sad people in continental northern Europe mostly dress practically, but then i remember the peer pressure and expectation to conform to certain looks and styles in other parts of the world, and I think it’s great to be from a society that allows more individual expression and doesn’t judge you as much based on the way you look. Btw, choosing to be a housewife still is a thing, especially with the generation that is now under 30. It’s just very uncommon in the cities with high cost of living. I grew up in the countryside and almost everyone who didn’t move to the city has become a housewife…
Being feminine, cute, and frail is the recipe that kept women under the control of patriarchal societies.We must not forget that in a point and time in history women were largely considered the property of their fathers or husbands. Marriage was often a transaction or a contractual agreement, where a woman’s role was to bear children, manage the household, and submit to her husband's authority. It is thankfully to strong powerful women who came before us and fought hard for women's liberation that we can now enjoy our independence and choose the fashion that suits us best without needing to look cute or sexy. I appreciate you sharing the cultural differences between Japanese and Western women. Very well done.
I don't believe it, And i don't believe it because it was stated by Isabella Bird, Bianca Pitzorno, Elena Giannini Delotti. the persons that come to my mind when somebody says Strong powerful women. If you meant Marilyn Monroe, Queen Cleopatra, and the good looking* Tina Modotti Their fame is just a reflex of the fact they fu... ehm, pickaxed their way to famous men's bedroom, knowing very well they traded the joy in death by old age. Yet my conclusion is the same. Whether you are right and i'm wrong or the opposite... ...As a boy i don't feel like fighting with bears or spermwhales, lose limbs in the process, find myself jealous of who died on the work... getting nagged the very moment i pick up a pinsel or a controller to relax. *I am Friulian
@islandbreeze2102 It is not; actually it is the universal definition of feminine traits that people in Western Europe and America will never understand. It is a common misconception since WW2 that women can behave like men and act tough and still be feminine. That`s why many German men are not really happy with German women and prefer women from Asian countries.
For me as a German woman this video was very interesting. Dressing fancy and doing Make-Up is something most German women don't do in everyday life. It's something for special occasions. But if you want to be fancy in everyday life that's okay, too. It's just not expected. I think in Germany we have a different view on feminity. Especially being tough and standing up for yourself and others isn't considered not feminine. Autonomy, knowing and defending your rights are values taught to German children from a young age, no matter the gender. Japan is a collectivistic culture, Germany an individualistic one. So freedom is very important here. And this freedom means there's a wide range of what being a woman can mean. You can wear Make-Up, take a lot of time for skin-care, wear skirts or you can wear jeans and no make up. You can be single, be and work a lot, be a working mom or be a housewife. Yes, that still exists in Germany, but there's still a lot of difference between eastern and western Germany. In eastern Germany being a stay at home mom is often frowned upon and considered lazy, in western Germany it's okay, although the mayority of mothers work at least part-time. Women who take long maternity leave don't feel guilty here, because there are many young people fresh in the job who are happy to take a job that's only for two or three years to get into the business before they move on. Changing workplaces every few years is very common here anyway. To sum it up: I think there's many ways of what being a woman can mean in Germany and I like that. I hope that we'll get to a point where there is as much acceptance for different ways of being a man then there is for being a woman.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. As an elderly western German woman I was a housewife for many years. It was difficult to return to working life. Like many other women I got only jobs far below my qualifications. Regarding fashion we have thanks to the great freedom here several options to show femininity.One very refined and elegant way is to dress minimalistic and then make a difference by the accessories.One of my favorites is the combination of my beloved old Levis, a simple but high quality top and then a real outstanding shawl or hairpin. Introversion and extroversion- it is a mistake so see introversion as weakness. Introversion is not about being demure and cute and helpless. Introverts can develop a deep inner strength and turn awkward situations into a positive experience for all people involved.
We do have kawaii elements in fashion, but not in adult fashion. We have a lot of "kawai" in children's fashion. That is indeed a very big cultural difference. We don't see "kawaii" as feminine, but as childlike.
@@TRUMPmyOSHI There are sexy fitted clothes but usually it's comfortable, slightly loose with muted or neutral colours At least it's how it is here in Europe.
@@TRUMPmyOSHI Short skirts, tight blouses and high heels aren't the only things that make a woman sexy. That's just the packaging. And a 15-year-old who is dressed up in a sexy way isn't any more grown-up just because her body is presented that way. She's still a girl and not a woman. 😉
Frau Samurai, I think you got wrong the concept of feminity by being a submissive, obedient, complasient and a weak women. independent and strong woman can be femeny as well
Just because she is from a different culture than yours, she is "wrong"? This is a very entitled thing to say for a person who cannot even spell "femininity".😶🌫
As a German woman I changed my style in 66 years many times and still do. If I want to be cute I wear something cute. If I want to be sexy I wear something sexy. If I want to be comfortable I wear something comfortable. Sometimes I'm more boyish and on other times I'm more feminine. Wear what you like and feel good in. True that many females in Germany wear pants but who cares. I like dresses and I like jeans.
My wife is Japanese, and I've been living there for years. I love the "kawai" style, the freshness of the women in the morning in the subway, the care they put to be always pretty or very correct. But I don't like the make-up - because I've found that most women are naturally much more beautiful than they imagine - especially Japanese ladies with their delicious white skin!
Thank you for sharing this vulnerable video with us! 🎀 As I see it, Frau Samurai is processing her cultural shock, a Japanese young female currently residing in Germany. 🙂 And one part of it is: HER loss of feeling of HER feminity, as a person from Japan in Germany. It is very specific. It is about HER. 🙂 Just emphasizing it, because some ladies I feel like took her feelings out of context and took it personally, when she is simply sharing with us her process. When we are someplace else on vacation for a few weeks, we notice things that are different, but we don’t care much, because we know we will be out of that place soon. But when you are someplace else for months and months, maybe years and years to come, it is different. You notice the differences, but you are not leaving anytime soon, and your “worlds”, “programmings” start to collide. It is something you need to find a way to reconcile with and within yourself. I experienced this just from coming from Eastern Europe. 🙂 Different is different, and it takes time and mental-emotional power to forge a path that feels comfortable, walking a new world with a “different” mindset. People think in this globalized world you can just go anywhere and make it work, no biggie. It is still sometimes a biggie 😄 Places are not so similar as we first think. But living in different countries is always a valuable experience, will learn about yourself and others so much!!
As an older German man I feel more comfortable with emancipated women - there is no hierarchy, no dominance nonsense, just equal people of differing genders, each with valid opinions and views. Wear whatever you're comfortable with, as much or as little makeup as you like, just be yourself, stay true to yourself and stand up for yourself.
Hello 👋 I know that there are plenty of comments and personal opinions to your views in your video already. Usually, I'm not the person leaving any comments. However, you asked a specific question at the end of your video and I would like to respond to that. "Have you ever noticed you changed in a different environment?" My answer is hell yes !!! Actually, all the time :) I'm half German, half Russian and feminity in both cultures are interpreted slightly different. On top of that I've been living abroad (Ireland and UK) for more than a decate now. I have learnt to change and adapt according to circumstances and to suit. One day I can be the strong, indipendent and often opinionated German wearing jeans and a basic jumper. On other days, I will wear a lovely classic feminine dress and braid my hair in a cute and elegant way. For me, it feels like I'm shifting in accordance with ying and yang. Hard to explain... I'm working in a male dominated world and experienced that the "softer" I am (as in calm, caring for the collective, but still with inner strength) the more successful I am. At university, I was sometimes the only European amongst a group of South East Asian girls. They would do everything to not be in the leader role and act rather submissive. This is when I would have to step up and take a more bold and dominant role. I would also change the sound of my voice and even the way I talk, choice of words and expressions etc. I think you are on a great journey of self-discovery. It's nice to see that you are starting to integrate into German culture and exploring how you feel about it. Of course, you should keep your Japanese identify as well. It's part of you. It can become handy at times. If you were just becoming German it would be quite boring. A little bit of Japanese is intriguing. If you wanna dress more kawaii, please feel free to do so. Important is authenticity and that you feel good in yourself :) Others will love you for that, too.
As a German woman, I found my femininity after moving to Poland. And I'm rather mad that I grew up in Germany with that sentiment that femininity is inferior to everything being "practical". In truth German women come across as harsh and overly manly (on average) and unfortunately many (especially older women) look like they just don't care. I'm sad I only discovered so late in life that femininity can also be for me and that I can be elegant. It's not just clothes. Being elegant and feminine outside also changes how you carry yourself, your behaviour.
The nice thing about being familiar with 2 cultures is you can choose for yourself the parts that fit you best. By the way - there are lots of housewives in Germany (and there are also men who take paternity leave and stay home with the toddlers). When someone takes parents' leave, very often a new person is hired temporarily for that vanacy which is a chance for that person - so no reason for a bad conscience there. Femininity does not equal weakness and dependency. And I am very sure that Japanese women can be real lionesses when they fight for their families, for example.
Dear Frau Samurai, please find out more about Teflon pans. These are very harmful to health, especially if the Teflon layer is scratched, as is the case with your pan. Use iron pans or ceramic pans instead. All the best.
As a German woman living in the UK, first I thought it might be an interesting insight to get by watching. But I quickly realised how negative the video sounds. I'm pretty sure you don't mean it like that but: 1. "I lost my femininity in Germany." means, that german women are not really considered feminine by you. 2. "There are no cute clothing in Germany" means, that german women don't look cute at all in your eyes. 3. Do you really think that weak is feminine and strong not? That sounds quite insulting to be honest, to all genders. 4. "we are educated to care for others" that means, Germans are selfish and don't care at all? Could it be that you can't work with people who are more outspoken and dearly honest to you? I respect your opinion, but please be as considerate in your videos, as you said, you've been taught to be. Strong people have soft hearts too~
You can not deny, Brit girls and woman are strong and independent, but much more feminine than the Birkenstocks wearing women here. I enjoy watching the perfect long haired Brit woman on the streets, how lovely the, are and the effort they put to dress up in the eves to go out. Cheers.
Why do you believe we are not caring because we prefer to take our well deserved maternity leave? It means we don't like to be made felt guilty to not preform as some kind of a slave because society gives you the subtle pressure by the incongruous idea of hurting someone else by raising your child. Doesn't it hurt your child more than some unknown person ? This is phony concept of obedience. It's hypocrisy!
No, I don’t think the Video is wrong. She compares the German Culture with her japanese culture through HER perspective. And sorry, but in Germany the society it’s a lot more individualist than in Japan or in Brazil, where I am from. Thinking in a more individualistic way is not a bad thing. But I think maybe you Girls feel offended because have never been faced with other realities where people think a lot more about their family group and friends when making decisions. And that’s what she meant. I will give as an example the COUNTLESS nursing homes for the elderly. Is that bad? No. It is a consequence of the structure of society. Many elderly people have chosen not to have children or many children do not feel obligated to be the caregiver for their parents in old age. And in Brazil this is completely different, because you are expected to take care of your parents in old age. One thing is not better than the other, it is just different.
Please never forget your values and heritage but don’t let either of them keep you from growing as a person. Tradition is dead people telling you what is right and they certainly do not have the experience of today’s world as they are longe gone… And when it comes to dressing and make-up: Do what makes YOU feel good. If you like to wear a skirt - do so. If you like to put on more make up - do so. You will find out over time where your personal preference is between blending in to the society that your are currently live in and what you makes you feel good.
Are you kidding? No enough nurseries and kindergardens, waiting list over 3 years, very expensive and low quality compared with other countries. Low standard of education, schools with over 65% foreigner kids in classes, they speak more Arabian than German. Part time jobs unflexible to cope with family and home duties. Unfriendly opening times for buying groceries. Germany is not best service country.
I m a German woman and 42 years old. No matter the season I wear dresses, because I feel uncomfortable in jeans. Of course I pair it with stockings or leggins even in summer. In Winter I love my high Boots with the dress. You should not dress different to what you feel comfortable and feminin with. Sending you Lots of love and encouragement 💝
Being a housewife is accepted but you can't afford it anymore if you want kids and live together both need to work or one needs to earn the income of two.
Ich kann dich sehr verstehen und hoffe dass du dich trotzdem in Deutschland wohlfühlst ❤ ich glaube das hat mit den unterschiedlichen Kulturen zu tun. Es kommt auch drauf an wo man in Deutschland wohnt. Die Bundesländer sind verschieden. Ich sende dir viel Freude und herzliche Grüße aus Deutschland 🇩🇪 und natürlich, dass du dich gut fühlst ❤
Off topic: I love Japanese food! Could you take us shopping with you, and show how you find Japanese ingredients in Germany and show us some more Japanese dishes?❤ Or if you don't find the ingredients, you usually would use in Japan, what you would use instead
I'am German but I like the Japanese people and their culture. Japanese people are great, advanced and very nice. Of course the are some differences in the living culture between Japan and Germany, but I think it is not a good idea overemphasize these differences. It makes more sense to to focus on things that these countries and cultures have in common. And that's a lot. Germany and Japan are friendship countries and this is for example reflected by fact that many Germans are very interested in the Japanese culture and the Japanese people.
They have some in common: They do what authorities provide them, follow, what americ. say, have many americ bases, Hiroshima + Nagasaki never had been officially excused ( except the song of Sandra from the 80), same as bombings on german cities !
That is such a good point! I would love to see more videos from Frau Samurai about similarities of both cultures ❤ I am sure there would be unexpected surprises!
The way I see it when you cover for a colleague it is expected of them to also cover for you. You still consider each other and take care of each other… And it is important to take holidays so you can rest and recuperate. Burnt out colleagues are much more of a burden than freshly recuperated ones. And finally, parental leave is important for society as a whole so new parents can properly care for their children.
As a Turkish woman, during my first years in Germany, I felt like I was step by step losing my feminine energy. This was because German women had changed since World War II. They had to adapt, as their country needed more hard workers. However, I eventually found a way to maintain balance. Now, I am someone who is both connected to nature, strong, and able to preserve her feminine energy. I no longer care if others around me are wearing skirts or not, if I want to wear one than I simply do. ☺💕
Some of the comments are so negative... I think what Frau Samurai means by "less feminine" isn't that German women aren't "real women" but that we don't have as strongly defined gender roles as many other cultures. I think that's true. I can't think of any culture (or at least any patriarchal culture, which 99% of humanity lives under nowadays) where being assertive, plain-looking and practical is seen as typically feminine. It isn't seen as feminine in Germany either - it's seen as a good thing for men and women alike. Hence weaker gender roles, even though I also think that even here women are expected to be nicer and more accommodating than men. But the difference is bigger in most other cultures.
Well, you can go on a holiday without guilt because next time you will be the one covering fro your colleague who goes on holiday. So really no need to feel guilt about this. You do deserve a break and especially an appropriate maternity leave.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us. I love looking at you cooking. Reminds me a bit of that wonderful series Midnight in Tokyo. I can tell you haven't lost your feminity . But you have won autonomy and that is what gives you strength. Wish you all the best for 2025 and keep on sharing your life with us.
As a german woman, I can say that most of us are really strong, ambitious and looking forward to our careers. That's exactly what I was taught what femininity should look like from my very successful parents. Looking cute is not first goal, because I want a husband similar successful to me and not someone who would want to rule my personality.
@hamerful I think she means "My first priority is not looking cute. It's rather finding a husband as successful as me and someone who doesn't rule over my personality". Just a general thing
You can choose what you wear, you don't need to be fashionable or kawaii. You can also choose, what being feminine means to you. It differs from Japan to Germany and it was also different looking through the different centuries of human history. Have fun exploring who you are, all the best!
True femininity is not based on things like outer appearance. I, as a German woman, love dressing up in skirts and blouses and dresses, wearing makeup with glitter, doing my hair curly and pretty and wearing jewelry. Just not every day. Thats too much of a hassle. If I feel like it, I wear makeup and pretty clothes, if I don’t feel like it, I just wear some regular pants and a shirt. The nice thing is that either is totally fine and I‘m viewed as just as much of a woman either way. Femininity is something inside of us. Femininity is not weakness, it’s strength. It’s resilience, it’s patience, it’s being loving and nurturing. But it is not being so spineless that men walk all over you or pressure you into their mold to fit their own desires. It’s being gentle but firm, it’s guiding and not forcing, holding space for others but not making yourself small in the process. It’s being vulnerable and emotional without being helpless and self-destructive. There is so much strength and beauty in femininity that comes from within, it doesn’t necessarily show on the exterior.
From my experience many German women long for more femininity but don't dare to stand out. So in that sense it's strangely similar to Japan, since conformity is expected here as well. It's just that here wearing jeans has become the norm and many women prefer to blend in. As a fellow short-legged woman I also feel that skirts tend to be more flattering... About being strong physically and in spirit, your observation about German women is correct. I'm not sure why that is. I think deep down women do want to be protected. Being a little softer might be good for German women too. Although independence can be necessary sometimes. Maybe it's good to find a balance. ✨ I appreciate your perspective.
Maybe some women, but I would strongly disagree being born and raised in Germany. For once, I never noticed a dislike about women wearing skirts or dresses here. I’ve seen very feminine women wearing skirts all the time and nobody really cared. Sometimes you can even get compliments if it’s a tasteful dress - at least in my experience. Most women choose pants for practical reasons, since skirts can get in the way in public transport or at work. Pants often feel more carefree and comfy and are simply practical. Skirts or dresses are often worn at summer or for going out to parties or dates, so people may stare out of curiosity, but not much more. (Staring is…rather normal here and rarely malicious.) Being “strong” is a way of upbringing here. We don’t have many separations between girls and boys at school - there’s rarely extras or cutting slack for girls. Women are told that they can do most things men do and are even expected to this at work or at home. I went to martial art courses, went abroad to travel and moved several times completely on my own. I also proudly own a toolkit for repairs for stuff around the house and I’m not an exception at all. Most of these things are perfectly normal to do here for women. Sure, some women might like to be the classic kind of housewife, with a partner as protecter and provider, but they don’t represent every woman in this country. (I honestly even think they are the minority here, because I haven’t met more than one personally). I also like having people on my side and have my back for support because that’s just human. But I don’t need nor want a partner to lead me, nor would any other German woman I know. Help and support is always appreciated but more than that is unnecessary.
quite a few of the comments under this video seem sort of offended about your definition of femininity - I assume they're from us European woman who don't think of ourselves as not feminine despite having all these traits that seem masculine to you. I think it's important to remember that every culture has their own gender roles and sometimes these roles have been present for hundreds of years for a reason, just as sometimes, recent change in the world has changed gender roles. I'm so happy for you that you can feel comfortable in a completely different culture and still never forget your origins. The concept of femininity is not just different for every culture but changes over time too. However you define your identity, as long as you do what feels right, it is right.
A lot of other commenters already said something about style and being feminine. I want to add that there are many women who would love to stay at home for a longer period of time with their kids or just being a housewife for the rest of their lives. Problem is: most of us can´t afford it. One income is not high enough to pay for rent, food, etc. At least if you are living in a bigger city. Maybe it is better in rural areas.
Ich komme aus Russland. Mir fiel es Anfangs wie dir schwer mich hier zurecht zu finden. Vor allem hat es mich oft geärgert dass alles was man unseren Jungs beigebracht hat hier nichts zählt. Als mir ein deutscher Mann dann 2 Kinder gemacht hat und mich mit Baby und Kleinkind verließ, musste ich lernen eine starke Frau und Mutter zu werden und für meine Kinder wie auch mich zu stehen. Die anfangs verletztenden Kommentare "Bau doch selbst deine Möbel auf?! Frauen sollten es auch können." - "Tapeziere selbst deine Wohnung. Ist doch nicht schwer?" Usw. haben mich anfangs wütend und dann so selbstständig gemacht, dass ich mich inzwischen frage wofür hier eigentlich Männer da sind? Etwas bewahrt man von seiner Kultur trotzdem immer auf: meine Kollegin sagte letztens zu mir, ich sehe aus wie eine zarte Elfe, aber bin charakterlich stark wie eine Schildmaid. Ich bedankte mich und erwiderte, dass mich das Leben hier dazu gemacht hat.
Die Frauen in den westlichen Staaten sind doch nicht in den 70ern auf die Straße gegangen, um für die Gleichberechtigung zu kämpfen, damit Frauen aus anderen Ländern hierhin kommen und dann ihrer patriarchalen Unterwerfungskultur hinterherheulen. Selbst in Deutschland sind wir nicht gleich berechtigt. Aber schon mal ein Stück weiter. Hübsch und am Herd, ehrlich nicht.
Deutsche Ehemänner, würde ich nicht empfehlen. Sie wissen nicht, wie man mit einer Frau umgeht. Deutsche Männer sind unsicher, das ist nicht gut. Die Frau hat keine Stellenwert für sie. Anders in England, dort waren die besten Herrscher Königinnen. Ich denke an ihre Nationalheldin Boadicea...
Mit Maennern kan man einen trinken gehen oder diskutieren ueber was oder wandern gehen. Sie koennen das oft besser organisieren, die km Angabe, die Tour etc...
Austrian here, I used to live in Germany. Even though we speak (somewhat) of the same language, I never felt more like a foreigner than I felt in Germany. The tallness and lack of fashion is real, and worse, functionality really is placed above everything, to the point that aesthetics frequently get thrown to the wayside. In my home country, there was always a strong emphasis on beauty, in appearance, architecture, culture... all very non-functional. Unfortunately Austria became so germanised in the past ten years that I decided to emigrate. I now live in France, where people dress nicely and aesthetics are valued as much as functionality, and I am much happier here.
I think in some reasons you are right. We didn't loose our feminity but we don't show it often on the outside. European women had to become strong because of two World wars. They had to rule the countries, protect and raise the children when all men are on the battle fields. And then to rebuilt the countries after war. To be strong also means equal to men. To become independent and not to rely on men is the younger generation. The older ones were also housewives. Now life is so expensive that it takes two saleries to afford it. Especially when you have kids. Why we can back to our jobs after maternity leave, it's law. I lived in several countries and I loved the diversity of each of them. I learned a lot of different cultures and some customs I still use in my daily life. I also visited Japan several times. There are customs I really like but there are others I don't understand and I am happy to live in Europe. Thank you for your nice, calm and thoughtful videos. 🙇
I live in Germany as a south eastern European woman. In south we wear alot of skirts , dresses and makeup. But now in Germany i only wear pants and only natural makeup. If i wear skirt people look at me weird.
Im male (19) and from Germany and I want to find a cute girlfriend. I noticed that compliments for girls/women in Japan is cute while for boys/men it is cool. I think cute also translates to wholesome and pure while sexy might imply some kind of weirdness.
Just be yourself and don't worry about others and their choices on how to live their lives. I am 75, and remember well the slow lowering of German standards, with too many copying the lower standards (easy) American way of life. I remember how it was in the 60's 70's even 90's when German woman and men at least cared about a well groomed appearance. Now, look at them...obesity is growing in Germany (copying the American way...processed foods as a lifestyle, sedentary etc etc). Many, overdone nearly theatrical makeup (very US/British) too provocative clothes or the opposite, sloppy dressing. Don't lower your standards, my dear. Be a positive example. (By the way, I lived in the US in the 50's to 70's in the US. I do know about life there).
I also noticed this when I came to study in Germany, although my conclusions are different to yours. I decided to make a concerted effort to wear skirts/dresses all year-round, even though it sometimes got me odd comments from Germans haha. The functional and hardy women in the centuries before also wore skirts -- so it doesn't have to be about being fashionable, I just feel good in skirts :) Also with the personality, it seems to have been inverted -- women in Germany seem to always take the lead. So it's hard to find a man who I can trust haha. I guess people here think that women shouldn't depend on others. But I see this dependency between friends, between elders and their caretakers, children and their mothers, and there is nothing wrong with it (even if it's not "sexy"). It's true that being a housewife/homemaker here also isn't really accepted. My fellow students at uni are offended at my wish to one day raise a family and care for them at home. Germans think it is “oppression” to work for your family rather than to work for a boss. This way of life seems to make them content, so I am happy for them! But I will probably leave Germany after graduating, as I find it hard to practice my kind of femininity here.
I come from Germany and I am male. I want to find a cute girlfriend like you describe it. If I am going to start a family with a women, I want her to care for the family too so we can both give it our best.
I just discovered your channel - your food looks very delicious and served with so much love! I was a little shocked that japanese women quit their job rather than taking maternal leave. I am pregnant right now and I am obliged to take the maternal leave (6 weeks before the calculated date of delivery and 8 weeks after) - it is for regeneration and to be pepared for an probably early deliver so the state protects women and forbids employers to let a pregnant women work. Afer that often the women but also a lot of men take parental leave. I had a lot of fathers in my department who took parental leave and I very much support that fathers have time with their family during that periode, because that time with your kids is so precious and they are young once. Also it is a huge relieve for the mother during that - so I gladly took over some of their duties, that the father can spend time at home. I think this is a difference in mindset her in Germany: I personally see it that way - the women does an amazing and mentally and physically hard job to deliver a child, also giving back a new citicen for our society that will contribute to it later. They need to have the social support or otherwise they will suffer like a lot of women in our past (mothers, grandmothers, who had to fill the role as a full time mom just to get financially dependant from one partner and have a difficult time if something happens to the partner's job - it was hard for both of them). To guarantee the job for a pregnant women is crucial that she is encouraged to come back at work after the parental leave and have an easier start. It is the same for fathers - they also keep their job legally. I really like this concept, because we are safe from injust behaviour of certain companies.
Japanese culture is very much appreciated in Germany. Especially in the big cities and Düsseldorf a lot of people are aware of Kawaii and like its unique cute styles. In the end you can really wear whatever you feel the most comfortable in
idek what femininity is half of the time other than predetermined biological things . im a young woman, i posess attributes and traits linked to my intrinsic nature as a woman but cuteness, softness, stuff like this is universal. i prefer skirts cause they suit me better and make me feel lovely but i also have a ruggid forest person side to me lol and theres also a fighter in me and such and such. i wont ever be a man. happy this is my reality jiji. u know ? i truly went down the rabbit hole about a lot of things and insecurities but i respect my genes, my people and do not feel bad for not looking like someone from a completely different environment and historical background. i love to see women from all different places including the ones that only look subtly feminine its interesting and makes you think about the unchangeable things within. sometimes its not so much about "femininity" but more so conserving your completion and original nature with all the things in this world...germany would empower me. not make me lose anything that i dont need to lose, is what i believe. and if i fall from grace from time to time its only natural. i mean call me a duck enough times i might start to quack and walk like one.
I think you should choose what you like from both cultures. For example, when you prefer to wear skirts, then do it. In Germany they usually accept a lot different life styles. A while ago I read something about the old german tribes and the rare historical documents that show, that women were equally strong and worth than men in these tribes. They had important roles within the tribes and even supported on the war field. Maybe compareable to the Maori. So I think the returning strength that you see in german and european women is just the return to our roots. I think it was always in us and now it‘s coming back to the surface. And furthermore I think this will happen all over the world. But it will take time.
I am German and live in Thailand. Here too, women only wear jeans and shorts. Dresses are only worn at weddings or in certain professions.skirts often in hotels or banks. A rather one-sided and uncreative image. For a few years now, I have been wearing dresses every day again. My shorts and tops are banned. Dresses are so comfortable, especially in this heat here. I now have a collection of 50 dresses. I never want to conform to a uniform image. Personally, standing out from the crowd gives me much more than going with the flow.
this is so interesting! I'm half german, half french, have always lived in germany and I've never considered german women to not be "feminine" :D but I also don't care about feminine or masculine, too much - I just feel like we all carry "both sides" (and everything in between) in us and depending on e.g. our parents, rolemodels and environments that shaped us as kids, some sides might be more pronounced than others? idk. and as you're experiencing yourself, they can shift around over time as well. anyways, sounds like you're gathering some exciting learnings for yourself and I loved hearing your perspective on this and reading all the other experiences and opinions in the comments! thanks for sharing (: also yes, please never forget or be ashamed(?) of where you come from! I love japan and I think there's so many beautiful rituals and values in japanese culture - I think we germans could "take some inspiration", so I hope there's many japanese people (or any other, too, really, I just particularly love japan haha) in germany that hold on to and share aspects of their culture in their own way and make life for us here even more colorful and nuanced, too! (:
This is very sweet to watch you by preparing the food and telling your thoughts. I am German and I lived also in an other country in Europe with an other language and mentality. I also thought the women in this country are different. But they weren't. After many years you will have friends and then you learn, they are similar with women in your country. Everywhere are women in the world who want to be a house wife and mother. Later I enjoyed to adapt other mentalities and to become one of them. It's a process, and you don't change, you simply adapt new views. Be grateful for this opportunity, just enjoy. Thank you for this nice video!
Men here: feminimity and masculinity shouldnt be societal constructs Make up and dresses dont make you more feminine Everything outside of biological function isnt feminime or masculine its just you and beeing unapologetically you is more masculine or feminime than anyone can tell you Why do people obsess over whats feminine or masculine Time and trends change but society cant tell you who you should be behind closed doors or to your loved ones Taking care of my pregnant wife is the most masculine thing i could make Its the same as a woman cares for her husband And the rest is beeing yourself My gender doesnt define me I am more than that And so are you
You are heard my dear, thank you for sharing your experience. I‘m am so sorry many women in the comments negate your experience! It makes me sad to see….. toughening up as a woman is not as glamorous as it seems. It is amazing to be a soft woman. I am glad, you will never forget your roots. And femininity is a blessing ❤
Hello my dear Japanese sister, I am sure that you have not lost your Japanese womanhood identity. You have just adapted to the circumstances and hopefully feel comfortable with them. Isn't it nice that we can largely live the way we women want to here? That we don't have such strict social rules here? You have found your way as a woman here in Germany and I hope and wish that you can enjoy being a woman here. Your home is in your heart and will never leave you. Best wishes and a big hug from me
I come from Spain and I lived in Germany for 4 years. I also noticed that German culture does not embrace femininity but in very different ways. Paradoxically, it made me appreciate and embrace femininity in myself even more!
very interesting, a woman from Italy said something similar in this comments, sounds like a fusion of both world would be great, german women could be a bit more elegant, like they are in Italy, France and Spain, but don't lose your conncection to earth , feminity is not only about our surface but come from our roots and make us powerfull.
Maternity leave is up to three years, but most women take one year or even less because it has a negative impact on your career. Just having a kid has a negative impact, to be honest... and nobody has to do your job while you are on maternity leave, you tell the company for how long you'll be gone and they will use a temp hire whose contract ends when you return. That's how a lot of people out of uni get their first year or two years of work experience after university.
I don't know where you usually stay in Germany because I don't know you and this is the first video of yours that I've seen. But I think your judgement is too general, you generalize too much. In Germany, not only functional fashion is worn! And like someone else said, clothes and cute looks say NOTHING about your femininity. German women tend to be strong and independent, which is also very feminine! But why do you live in Germany if you don't feel comfortable here? 
I am a german woman who has lived in Japan for 2 years for work (research at a university). Japan and germany are really very different, but both countries have the same stereotypes of the other. As a woman alone in Japan, I often felt totally underdressed. I have never been interested in fashion or make-up. My clothes are always jeans and a simple tshirt, with or without a sweatshirtjacket on top, depending on the season. I don't wear any make-up. It took some time getting used to the fact that nobody was like that in Japan. I'm very confident and independent but it was definitely weird to not only be one of the only very visible foreigners there (corona lock-down times), but also being the only one to wear old, useful clothes every day. I wore the same 3 jeans throughout the entire time in Japan! 😂 I've seen many women also wearing "jeans and t-shirt" but always in a very clever and stylish way. I myself have no fashion sense at all, i have 3 blue jeans and maybe 10 simple tshirts. They all match with each other. I've never felt more out of place (fashion-wise) than I did in Japan. So, I 100% understand what you mean. In germany, we women are not considered to be very different from men. Yes, we are physically weaker on average, but apart from that, we're considered capable of doing everything just like men. If at all, I think many men in germany are more dependent on women, rather than the other way around these days (although it is more like an emotional dependence). Many women decide to be single and not marry, while not many men think like this. Women can "naturally" cook and clean and take care of the household and ALSO work a full time iob. Often, men were still raised to one day be married, to take care of their career and not taught how to cook or clean properly. This is very generally speaking of course, just what I experience my fellow germans like. It's barely possible in germany for 2 people to live on 1 salary, and it has become less and less possible ober the last 30+ years, so it happened naturally that both persons in a relationship had to work to sustain life. One person not working a paid job at all just does not work. At the same time, women got more rights and eventually were declared "equal" to men (even if we still receive a lower salary on average, but this is a scandal for another discussion). Anyways, I woke up in the middle of the night and now I'm writing way too much! I will subscribe to you now, because this was very interesting! And can you please identify all the products you used to cook this? Recipe please! ❤
Your video is charming, real, thoughtful. Happy to subscribe to hear more of your journeys. Interested in learning about different lives, cultures. See you later!
Naja ich wünschte mir häufiger, dass unsere Frauen femininer wären. Zuletzt ist mir der krasse Vergleich zwischen Ungarnerinnen aufgefallen. Dort macht man sich mehr zurecht. Aber der Vorteil andererseits ist, man nimmt eine Dona bella dadurch eher war und weiß es mehr zu schätzen, wenn sie sich den Aufwand macht zu gefallen. ;)
Thank you for sharing your impressions! It’s very interesting to hear which cultural differences you are noticing. I‘m German, and I lived in Tokyo for a year - the Japanese fashion is so pretty and so classy. I love it. I wish more clothes like that were available here. I bought a bunch of kawaii coats in Harajuku, and I hope they never get damaged.🙏
You may have lost a part of your japanese femininity in Germany, but you won another kind of femininity to yourself and I'm sure I suits you well! 😀 I'm a small short-legged German and I really would love wearing dresses all year, but a I find tights uncomfortable, I usually only wear dresses in summer. As you say, most Germans do prefer practical and comfortable clothing over nice ones (although I'd always try to get clothes that are both). I'd wish so much make-up would be just a fun thing for everyone around the world, what you can put on when you are in make-up-mood and in times you are not, no one cares - as it is for many woman in Germany. I enjoy make-up very much, but only wear it occationally. On weddings, on lazy couch days at home, some days at work - I wear make-up when I want to feel fancy, but I could go everywhere without it without anyone frowning I an wish every person could have this luxury. At least Asian beauty standards get us the opportunity to buy great Asian skincare (I rarely buy European sunscreen anymore as the Asian ones are so much better) ... Thanks for your video, it was quite interesting.
I think skincare is very important, though I agree that always wearing makeup is not necessary, wearing sunscreen and moisturizer everyday is ideal. So if that's your skincare I don't think you have a double standard :) I would like to see examples of what "normal clothes" from Japan you are talking about that are so fancy because it is confusing to me. I was living in Japan for 9.5 years up until the end of November 2024, and lived in both rural Japan and in the Tokyo area in Yokohama and the clothing you have on that I can see (nice neutral toned knit sweater) looks like something I saw on the average Japanese person I passed in Japan. I saw most people wearing fashionable but very practical clothing in Japan much more often than I saw people wearing kawaii girly less practical fashion. I think Japanese women are some of the strongest women in the world because of how much strength it takes to put others above yourself, especially when it comes to things like not taking maternity leave. I loved living in Japan where people are so considerate of others in public spaces it made them more comfortable and safe to be in than my home country. I think femininity can take many forms, and if you miss that feeling of femininity you used to have from certain ways of dressing you used to do in Japan, I think you should let yourself dress up more like that again because it's important to keep your identity and femininity can be a part of that. If you don't miss it that's fine too, just want to say that there's not one way to be feminine and maybe the way you express your femininity has simply changed just like other things since moving to Germany? I know my style of dress changed quite a bit after living in Japan for awhile. I started dressing much less sexy, more demure, and practically to fit in at my workplaces. None of my jobs allowed cute/kawaii adjacent fashion I always needed to be kind of plain and practical for work. It's one of the things that actually made me sad in Japan was not having the freedom to dress how I wanted to because it would give a bad impression. Though near the end of my time in Japan I stopped caring about that since I knew I was going back to my home country. It's been a little over a month since I moved back to my home country after over 9 years in Japan and it's still a lot of adjusting to do.
I moved to Germany 2 months ago, and I have been regularly visiting for over a year now. I very much agree with your video. I didn't even move far from home, just a country over but I definitely feel the difference. In Poland it's way more common to dress up, to be more feminine etc, here it's another story. But I don't want to be unhappy here, forced by society to be somebody else. I love dressing in an overly fancy way, with creative makeup and statement fashion. I want to be myself and will continue even though I will catch a few "German stares" on the street. Stay happy
Interessant. 😊 Es gibt auch in Deutschland noch viele Hausfrauen, aber meist auf Zeit. Sind die Kinder größer, gehen viele arbeiten. Die Tatsache, dass darauf herabgesehen wird, wenn Frauen zu Hause bleiben, wird gleichzeitig aber auch viel kritisiert. Denn eigentlich wird Kindererziehung als Arbeit anerkannt wird, wenn sie beispielsweise in einem Kindergarten stattfindet. Nur eben nicht im eigenen Haus. Ein vielschichtiges Thema. 😁
Seriously being cute doesn't make you more feminine than other women. I find being sexy is more feminine to me personally. You see it's very subjective and everyone has another opinion on that. My point is, just do what you feel most comfortable and don't give a damn about anyones opinion.
Being sexy is something that isn't only for women. It is a trait for both genders.. making it seem like being sexy is being feminine, is what men teach us.
I love this video so much. Thank you! You can learn a lot when living in other cultures, also important things. But you can never forget your roots! The smell of the meals, the climate, the social environment of your childhood will imprint and always stay with you. That's beautiful. But as you grow older, you can adapt to other experiences too.
While of course everyone should be able to dress how they like and have their own reasons for doing so, some, not all of this, "well I am just more practical/simple/functional" type mentality is really internalized misogyny these women have from their own cultural or personal experiences.
Being natural should be the beauty standard everywhere😄! And there is nothing wrong with being strong. It's healthy and can save your life as your story from the train shows!
As a German woman I studied a semester abroad in Ireland in my 20ies. The English und Irish women wear a much more sexy style und more makeup than Germans do. So I started wearing makeup every day, too. And style up. It is very warm there in winter for a woman from near the Alps. I had to buy new clothes for winter anyway. The people look a little bit different, more redheads and black hair and other form of face but you do not stand out as a Asian in Europe. Your environment truly moulds you.
I'm a grown woman, why should I look cute? Babies or toddlers are cute. There are other attributes that count in adulthood. Everyone in Germany is free to wear a skirt or dress even in winter. This used to be common in Europe too. Several layers of dense, wide fabrics that reach just above the ground are much better at keeping you warm in winter than trousers.
I agree comrade. Why should we look cute? How will that help the industry of our nation? Layers of “dense, wide fabrics” have been the answer for decades and have never failed. Yet sometimes I dream of the music from the Nutcracker Ballet and I dream of light, floaty, gossamer garments lifting me up lighter than the air itself. And with it a small crown on top, also very light. If only …… it were not Germany.
Proud grandchild and daughter of career oriented successful full time working grandmother (born 1931) and mother, who basically never wore heels or a lot of make up or were particularly great cooks, yet found themselves amazing husbands who loved them a lot and shared household duties and were real partners in crime. I’ve never felt unfeminine. You don’t need to be cute, or fragile, or sweet to be a real and amazing woman.
I dont think people mind what you wear here in Germany. I dont think anyone expects you should dress like a Germ an woman. Im English , Im relieved that I can be more casual to be honest. when I feel like it I can still wear pretty summer dresses or long skirts in the winter, it doesnt disturb anyone in the least, even though strangers would have no reason to know I was from England. As a Japanese woman, people would expect you to wear clothes suited to your own japanese personality , theres no reason to think anyone would feel this was odd or against the grain.
I’m Brazilian and I agree with your points. Lived for 3 years in Germany and the concept of femininity there is very different (bc of feminist ideology). Idk if it’s because of the war, but old German ladies are also different from modern German ladies. In general, the old ones are more kind, soft spoken and warm in general. Modern German ladies are very practical, closed off, individualistic, they want to be seen as tough and next to a German man, they are the ones with a dominant energy. German men for instance are more passive, many are socially awkward and stingy with their money. A horrible combination in the eyes of a feminine woman, but hey, it’s their culture and how it works for them. In my time in Germany I made friends with Eastern European women and they are much more close to me in mentality than the German ones.
Stingy with their money 😂 ... well, most of the Brazilian women I know, quite a number, and also from certain other countries are used to getting absolutely everything paid by their men/boyfriend/partner, sometimes to the point of being a bit abusive. They have extremely high expectations in that regard. Many are used or willing to subordinate a bit or more to the men's authority and dominance, which is not a trait German women appreciate much. Actually, German men only appreciate for a while paying everything to get a feminine and s_xy woman. Later, they feel abused and sucked dry by the expectations that often extend to the family of the woman. The average German man certainly lacks a bit of gentleman-like behaviour, on the other hand, also many German women lack lady-like behaviour. I wouldn't mind being invited for coffee or a dinner once in a while, or having someone hold the door when I'm packed with bags, but I don't need to be "kept" financially by a man to feel feminine.
So inspiring really! Several thoughts cross my mind * Skirts I grew up in trousers, but stopped wearing them after having a very stressful period at work. Came out at the end of the tunnel and found out - I just couldn't stand the feeling of wearing trousers any more. Sort of was forced to come down to my very roots. I'm wearing dresses now all year round. * Identity As a German woman I'm constantly thinking about equal rights, disrespect for everything female and all that stuff. Sort of constantly worrying. But your story about the train makes me realise how far I've come. I do not consent to being afraid in late night trains and midnight streets and parks. They are mine, too. (Ok, it helps that my hair is more silvery now ...) I was in a train one day, drunken soccer fans, a frightened young woman. I saw she was sort of paralysed by the potential violence which was in the air. I went up to her, told her to come with me and we just went to the next wagon. I realised how powerful I was as a 65year old woman. Too old to get raped, too old to be paralysed .... Since then I speak up when I see or feel that there might be something going on. Quarreling couples, when I hear the aggressive tone of the male and the pleading female voice, I just step up to them and ask the woman if she needs any help and remind her that if things get out of hand she should inform the police. I'm not aggressive at all, it's just to let them know there are witnesses around and his behaviour is not appropriate. Usually both are shocked, being used that everybody just ignores and flees imminent aggression. So you see, your story gave me back a little self respect. Thank you! Are you living in the town where many Japanese people live? Have a nice day ❤
Hey, thank you for sharing your authentic insights, it was quite touching ❤ I didnt expect to watch the entire thing from start to finish I clicked on the video because I feel similarly since moving to Germany. I'm trying to get a bit of my feminitity back, but overall I am grateful for the changes I've had, influenced by Germany. The are 90% positive.
Thank you for your lovely comment😊 I'm happy the change in Germany impacted you positively. In this country, women are the true superheroes, becoming stronger and more independent.
I wanna be feminine and I always struggled too in Germany to live a traditional feminine life as society is harsh and feminist I hate that ,then I moved to England because I found my soulmate online and now I'm happily married can be a housewife don't have to work and justify for why I'm no independent enough 🙏🏼❤️God's way of a woman is the right way , marriage children and being feminine and gentle there's nothing else that will ever fulfill you in a work space than in your natural role of being a wife and god willing a mother too🙏🏼💐
Iam so happy you shared this! And also very proud of how open minded you are. It was a bit weird for me at first to break out of the "practical" -fashion too, but I come to understand, that I feel more free to wear whatever I like. If I have a busy day nobody is mad, when I just wear comfy clothes. If I want to feel more feminine that day, I can dress up and nobody bats an eye. I don't know how it is in other countries, but it feels very freeing. I hope you like germany and the social freedom to do what you want. I think the not so common housewives here come with the increasing cost of living. So its not as common, not because we don't want it, but because we often can't. I for myself like not being a housewive, but there is nobody that thinks of them as weird. Its more considered a luxury i think. Plus a huge risk in the future, cause of divorces and lesser rent.
Tbh this video just made me think that femininity comes in all different forms and shapes 😊 I got even a little bit touched about ur train story 🥺I'm happy u stayed safe! With people like this in the world, I have a lot of hope for the future 🍀
![[ Winter Morning Routine ] A Micro Apartment Life in Tokyo - 7sqm/76sqft](/img/n.gif)
I updated the video because I realized the crucial subtitles were missing due to an editing oversight. I apologize to those who commented on my previous video.🙇♀
Sorry but i think you must be very jealous and bitter about german this is why you don’t show you’re face!
I‘m a german women and i can’t save my self even for just one day from the attention from men here in Germany especially from you‘re asian men so i don’t know why you are talking so much BS!
It would be better if you don‘t try to be too artificial because if men don’t like they won’t even like you with Make-up too!
I know not everyone has blue big eyes with black long lashes and blond long hair like me but that doesn’t mean that you have to be jealous of german women just support them and they will support you because i like you asian women a lot here in Germany because you are normally very decent like me but women like you destroy friendly relationships between women all around the world!
@@bourbonfatalindem sie alle über einen Kamm schert und Missinformation/ falsches Bild verbreitet. Alleine der Titel schon 🤢
Finnish women are quite similar to German. We are practical, hardy and do not care about looking cute or wearing high brand goods. But this doesn't make us any less women, now does it? 😉 Womanhood comes from the inside, every female has a different approach to it. Even if I don't look desirable/cute/feminine, I can still feel like it.
So richtig! Everything else would be superficial
Very true, you saved me from writing this as well…👍😁
Exactly, it seems that asian culture is hyper focused on materialism and looking fancy and their culture is super judgmental and toxic. I love Germany so much since has everything I look for starting from the gloomy weather, endless opportunities to work, people mind their own business etc.
Iam a Hispanic woman living in Germany. I have a different view about feminity, more similar to the Japanese. Iam femenine, love my perfumes, makeup, dresses. I care about details, never changed myself for the sake of fitting to the rest. I will never own a paar of Birkenstocks.
@@kandelika2902 🙂👍
I am Italian and I am living in Germany since 11 years now. In my home country all ladies put a lot of efforts and make up, fashion and elegance and I used to do the same. But I never felt so feminine like in the last years of my life in Germany. Here I feel much more connected to nature and simplicity and this is for me the quintessence of feminity :) It is a very individual concept...
What a beautiful comment❤
German man here. I agree. You understood what it makes it out. The natural beauty is the most beautiful thing in the world
nach 11 Jahren nicht auf deutsch kommentieren?😅
@@Jan-is3ql I am German born and did not comment in German. Why are you triggered?
@@Jan-is3qlich hätte auf Deutsch kommentieren können, klar, aber ich denke, dass das Publikum von der TH-camrin international ist. Daher ist die englische Sprache in diesem Fall geeigneter. Liebe Grûße
As a german woman not having any pants in my closet, I can tell you: do not let the outer world define you. Neither in Japan nor in Germany. Being feminine comes from the deep self inside. You need to accept your inner self. And also your body. There is no need to cover a body just because women's bodies have short legs or anything else. Nothing is wrong with us. We are what we are. I think this change you experience is the door to a deeper understanding of what you are. Have a good journey!
Also she shouldn't worry to feel overdressed, it's more important to feel comfortable and confident in your own skin. I know it's hard for people, coming from a culture where the most important thing is, what others think about you but the most important should be you and your happiness. Be yourself as long it doesn't hurt others.
Pants have nothing to do with femininity
I am a german woman. In my opinion being feminine is not being weak. I am very sexy in my bedroom. I am very strong in my job. I am never cute because I am an adult, not a child. I fight back in evil situations.
I adore japanese samurai women, who defendet their homes with weapons. Their men were mostly absent, and the women were masters of the weapon naginata. Tough women.
I trained japanese fighting arts my whole life (in germany). Several black belts.
Cool!
How is it not feminine to be strong and stand up for oneself ? That is the pique of femininity.
Facts
Couldn't agree more! Any mother in the animal kingdom is ferocious when it comes to defending its cubs
Feminine is Yin. It is the receptive part, the soft part. Cuteness, softness, giving-in-ness is part of the feminine! If this lady here tells us she has lost her femininity, then this is true! You ladies here defending the toughness and negating her experience, step into your softness and your strength and let a fellow women express her feelings without guilt or judgement! I know it‘s painful we as, especially Western women are only safe to express our more independent feminine qualities, but don‘t reject your gentle and soft, light feminine side.!
@@roselienchen9886 In order to be soft you need to be strong. The feminine is fierce and powerful. That's why that energy was suppresed for thousands of years. The masculine/yang is the sun and therefore the light. The feminine/yin is the moon and therefore the shadow and dark aspects. The very gentle feminine energy is actually femenine energy when it has not reached a mature state. When feminine energy goes from the maiden/princess evolutionary stage into the mother/queen evolutionary stage is when she becomes fierce, powerful and fearless. All female beings in the animal kingdom are very strong and powerful when it comes to defeding their cubs. There is nothing more dangerous than an angry mother. This lady 's well-being was menaced and another woman, because of her maternal instincts, step up and defended her. There is no need to be a mother to reach the mature feminine, btw. But when one becomes a mother that energy is necessary.
@@roselienchen9886 💓
Please take into consideration that being feminine doesn't mean being weak. Even if societies tend to tell us so, in order to keep the "Status Quo". Define your own femininity. Who else could do it better?
Northern European women, including German, Scandinavian and Dutch, tend to be strong and practical. Perhaps it's the cold, harsher climate combined with our culture. People had to be strong to survive in a cold and often also dark (in winter) Europe. It's how we roll and it's what we like. Personally I feel it's freeing to live like this and to also have more of a natural equality as both genders are strong. Perhaps it's a different definition of feminity or womanhood. It doesn't mean we're not feminine, just that there's a strength and perhaps more of a freedom there too. I love it. I love that we wear practical shoes like sneakers for example (also due to the climate, it just makes sense). It feels freeing and just right.
A lady from Poland asked me, why German women don't wear make up or dress more feminin. She said, in her Country women dress more stylish. It is just one Country further east! And she was right.
@@lisaerhard9817So do your clothes define who you are? Being a woman is so much more than that
english woman are a lot more feminine fashionwise , I know I am half german half english . english women want to be cute and sexy at the same time , some more Ladylike,
thats why I buy my dresses and skirts in England , and I stand out in my communilty cause I rather wear a skirt with boots than jeans in harsh weather . so I can fully understand what you mean .
@ec2402
I know what you mean.
I don't think it's the cold & harshness though. Russia is very cold & harsh, and their women are traditionally very "styled" and the patriarchy is strong (heavy).
I think it's rather the Germanic culture/mentality. I think women in Germanic cultures were considered strong (compared to many other cultures) and treated more equally (in ancient/ pre-medieval times).
Whenever I helped friends from Russia move, women were expected to "just" clean (the new bathroom or windows etc.), not to carry boxes or furniture..
I always cringed (being from Germany).
@@nicolejansen3804
In Germany being too styled up (outside of festive occasions etc.) somehow is considered a bit immature, unprofessional and silly.
No reliable/reputable person in office/business usually would appear like it.
Maybe a bit like some guy walking "with razorblades under his arms", driving a silly sportscar..
I think Germans view this a bit like it's what you tend to do if you don't have "anything else to offer" (regarding skills etc).
I don't know, hope I could explain it a bit.
The point is you can look like you want in Germany either if you want a cute or sexy look, you can do what you like. Wear your clothes with pride and everybody will accept. Greetings from a German, hopefully cute woman.
Accept, huh? Maybe they not tell you, but germans judge everything brutally.
"Everyone will accept" no they wont😅
Ich habe vor 2 Jahren sämtliche Hosen rausgeschmissen weil ich mich nie wohl in ihnen gefühlt hatte ,seit ich Röcke und Kleider + Strumpfhosen trage ,werde ich regelmäßig angefeindet von Kollegen und teilweise auch Verwandten.
Meine Verwandten fragen mich wann ich mich endlich "kleide wie eine Frau und nicht wie ein Mädchen" da es ihrer Meinung nach nur beim Schulabschluss/Feierlichkeiten und der Hochzeit ok für einen Frau ist ein Kleid zu tragen. Ansonsten wirkt sie kindisch im Sommerkleid bzw Alltag.
Eine Kollegin wurde einfach nicht müde mir jeden einzelnen Tag zu sagen "hey du trägst gern Kleider oder" du hast ja schon wieder einen Rock an " oder auch andere Kollegen mit reinzuziehen "guck mal sie hat schon wieder ein Kleid/Rock an" man sollte meinen dass es nach Monaten langweilig wird aber nein , auch nach 6 Monaten wartet sie scheinbar noch sehnsüchtig darauf dass ich endlich in Hosen aufkreuzen werde.
Mein Vorgesetzter (er hat einen religiösen Hintergrund) wollte mich wegen meines Rock (knielang mit blickdichter Strumpfhose) von der Arbeit suspendieren und eine Abmahnung ausstellen, beides konnte ich mit Androhung meines Anwaltes stilllegen . Er plant jetzt aber eine "Hosenpflicht" für Frauen am Arbeitsplatz in die Kleiderordnung zu integrieren. Als Reaktion darauf haben 2 weitere Kolleginnen sich ebenfalls gekleidet wie ich ,um ein Statement zu setzen. Freunde mit einem ähnlichen femininen Style haben ähnliche Erfahrungen gemacht wie ich. Es ist irrsinnig und traurig was in Deutschland abgeht.
@@milchbrotchen2930 Komischer Chef und komische Kollegen, sowas habe ich echt noch nie gehört. Was haben Kleider mit "Mädchen" zu tun? Aber wahrscheinlich gehen die bei Euch auch alle zum Lachen in den Keller. Wir hatten bei uns mal eine ganze Zeit lang eine externe Kollegin, die hat nur Kleider getragen und da hat niemand irgendwas gesagt. Ich drücke alle Daumen dafür, dass sich nicht so ein schwachsinniges "Hosengebot" durchsetzt!
@@milchbrotchen2930
Es tut mir sehr leid, dass Du solche Erfahrungen gemacht hast. Bei meiner Arbeitsstelle interessiert es keinen, was man trägt. Und überhaupt, was hat Rock tragen mit mädchenhaft zu tun? Ich persönlich trage lieber Hosen und nur gelegentlich Rock oder Kleid, aber meine fast 70Jährige Mutter trägt oft Röcke - es ist eben ihr Stil!
Ich würde ja sagen, lass Dir von Deinen merkwürdigen Mitmenschen nicht die Laune verderben, aber wenn es schon einen Anwalt erfordert... Ich hoffe, Du findest eine bessere Arbeitsstelle.
@milchbrotchen, tja Pech gehabt denke ich. Ich musste vor 30 Jahren auf meiner Arbeitsstelle Röcke/Kleider tragen, es war Pflicht. Ich habe es damals gerne gemacht, heute bin ich froh und trage nur noch Hosen oder Culottes, Richtung sportiv, finde ich jetzt schöner. Grundsätzlich sollte jeder tragen, was er/sie mag und deshalb nicht angemacht werden…
You did not lose your feminity. You simply lost the urge to obey to standards, that are not in your favor as a human being. In Germany, you can think for yourself and define yourself, as to who you may want to be. And live your personality to the fullest. Besides, there are lots of housewives in Germany, so, if you dream to become one, it is for sure possible - depending on your partner (literally). I woudn‘t want to be one, but I am fine with others to chose this lifestyle. „Leben und leben lassen“ - as we Germany say.
What does “leben und leben lassen” mean in English? “Live and let live?” It sounds very beautiful whatever it means.
@@TheQueensWishit means that everyone can live how they want ( looking cute or not included)
@sphaera177 If she feels like she has lost her femininity, just believe her. I can agree to most things she said. Yes, it is not common for a woman to be a housewife in Germany. Migrants from Poland, Middle Eastern countries do that a lot, but among German women, there is a lot of peer pressure to be as ambitious and successful as men. And yes, cute women are rarely seen, except teenage fan girls of anime/manga/k.pop etc. And besides, unless you`re living in Berlin, people won`t tolerate too much eccentricity at all. Think for yourself? Only on the surface.
@@TheQueensWishyes, live and let live
@@annaconda76 I always lived in small towns and yes, some people might look at you in a funny way, but I always wear what I want and get mostly compliments for my style (very punk-ish, with more or less feminine/glamorous expression depending on my modd and where I go), rarely ever did someone look down on me or make a bashing comment. And IF that happens, it doesn't matter - it's telling about their superficial attitude, not mine. I don't have to let their opinions on style rule my fashion choices. Actually, I refuse to let opinions rule anything in my life at all - I have to live with my decisions and feel comfortable in my skin, not them. Even if you tried to be liked by everyone, you never will. I don't need their allowance to wear what I want 🤷🏼♀️
I wear skirts and dresses every day. Its my choice to wear it-i love it. But i am a woman who can stand up for myself and my opinion so in germany dont mean if you wear dresses or feminin clothes you can't stand up for you rights and your opinion. You can do both of it and this is waht i love about my country.
This! Thank you!
In a decently run company in Germany, the personnel will be calculated for a certain percentage of absence due to vacation/sick leave/maternity/paternity/people going to seminars etc. No need for a bad conscience. Don't let employers use your bad conscience against you---that's one of the most heinous psychological tricks in their playbook, and is exploitation.
I think women in many European countries not wearing skirts and dresses has a lot to do with the fact that they don’t grow up having to wear gendered school uniforms - for example, in the Uk and Ireland, where girls need to wear skirts from grade 1 to university, a lot more skirts and dresses are worn in general. I’m German and have lived in Japan, UK and some other European countries. As I enjoy dressing up, i sometimes think it’s sad people in continental northern Europe mostly dress practically, but then i remember the peer pressure and expectation to conform to certain looks and styles in other parts of the world, and I think it’s great to be from a society that allows more individual expression and doesn’t judge you as much based on the way you look. Btw, choosing to be a housewife still is a thing, especially with the generation that is now under 30. It’s just very uncommon in the cities with high cost of living. I grew up in the countryside and almost everyone who didn’t move to the city has become a housewife…
Oh, I thought pupils can choose wether to wear skirt or trousers for their uniform? 😳
@@lylavatiNot where I went to school.
I'm from Ireland and in mixed schools (boys and girls) some girls choose to wear uniform trousers.
Being feminine, cute, and frail is the recipe that kept women under the control of patriarchal societies.We must not forget that in a point and time in history women were largely considered the property of their fathers or husbands. Marriage was often a transaction or a contractual agreement, where a woman’s role was to bear children, manage the household, and submit to her husband's authority. It is thankfully to strong powerful women who came before us and fought hard for women's liberation that we can now enjoy our independence and choose the fashion that suits us best without needing to look cute or sexy. I appreciate you sharing the cultural differences between Japanese and Western women. Very well done.
I don't believe it, And i don't believe it because it was stated by Isabella Bird, Bianca Pitzorno, Elena Giannini Delotti. the persons that come to my mind when somebody says Strong powerful women. If you meant Marilyn Monroe, Queen Cleopatra, and the good looking* Tina Modotti Their fame is just a reflex of the fact they fu... ehm, pickaxed their way to famous men's bedroom, knowing very well they traded the joy in death by old age.
Yet my conclusion is the same. Whether you are right and i'm wrong or the opposite...
...As a boy i don't feel like fighting with bears or spermwhales, lose limbs in the process, find myself jealous of who died on the work... getting nagged the very moment i pick up a pinsel or a controller to relax.
*I am Friulian
Thank you for talking about powerstructures. We need more females in Powerpositiones.❤
Thank you FrauSamurai for your openness an giving us an insight on your view of this topic. ❤
@islandbreeze2102 It is not; actually it is the universal definition of feminine traits that people in Western Europe and America will never understand. It is a common misconception since WW2 that women can behave like men and act tough and still be feminine. That`s why many German men are not really happy with German women and prefer women from Asian countries.
It is not only an achievement of woman fighting for more rights but also men willing to accept it. Otherwise it can not happen.
For me as a German woman this video was very interesting. Dressing fancy and doing Make-Up is something most German women don't do in everyday life. It's something for special occasions. But if you want to be fancy in everyday life that's okay, too. It's just not expected.
I think in Germany we have a different view on feminity. Especially being tough and standing up for yourself and others isn't considered not feminine. Autonomy, knowing and defending your rights are values taught to German children from a young age, no matter the gender. Japan is a collectivistic culture, Germany an individualistic one. So freedom is very important here. And this freedom means there's a wide range of what being a woman can mean. You can wear Make-Up, take a lot of time for skin-care, wear skirts or you can wear jeans and no make up. You can be single, be and work a lot, be a working mom or be a housewife. Yes, that still exists in Germany, but there's still a lot of difference between eastern and western Germany. In eastern Germany being a stay at home mom is often frowned upon and considered lazy, in western Germany it's okay, although the mayority of mothers work at least part-time.
Women who take long maternity leave don't feel guilty here, because there are many young people fresh in the job who are happy to take a job that's only for two or three years to get into the business before they move on. Changing workplaces every few years is very common here anyway.
To sum it up: I think there's many ways of what being a woman can mean in Germany and I like that. I hope that we'll get to a point where there is as much acceptance for different ways of being a man then there is for being a woman.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. As an elderly western German woman I was a housewife for many years. It was difficult to return to working life. Like many other women I got only jobs far below my qualifications. Regarding fashion we have thanks to the great freedom here several options to show femininity.One very refined and elegant way is to dress minimalistic and then make a difference by the accessories.One of my favorites is the combination of my beloved old Levis, a simple but high quality top and then a real outstanding shawl or hairpin. Introversion and extroversion- it is a mistake so see introversion as weakness. Introversion is not about being demure and cute and helpless. Introverts can develop a deep inner strength and turn awkward situations into a positive experience for all people involved.
Introversion means things are happening inside without needing input from outside, how can that be seen as weak? We're independent!
I love that you mentioned your experience as a housewife. thank you
@@clipaqua8848 🙂
We do have kawaii elements in fashion, but not in adult fashion. We have a lot of "kawai" in children's fashion.
That is indeed a very big cultural difference. We don't see "kawaii" as feminine, but as childlike.
I totally agree.
What element would be in women fashion?
In the US, many think sexy fitted clothes are “grown up” or “adult like” for women.
@@TRUMPmyOSHI There are sexy fitted clothes but usually it's comfortable, slightly loose with muted or neutral colours At least it's how it is here in Europe.
Great comment, so interesting!
@@TRUMPmyOSHI Short skirts, tight blouses and high heels aren't the only things that make a woman sexy. That's just the packaging. And a 15-year-old who is dressed up in a sexy way isn't any more grown-up just because her body is presented that way. She's still a girl and not a woman. 😉
Frau Samurai, I think you got wrong the concept of feminity by being a submissive, obedient, complasient and a weak women. independent and strong woman can be femeny as well
Just because she is from a different culture than yours, she is "wrong"? This is a very entitled thing to say for a person who cannot even spell "femininity".😶🌫
As a German woman I changed my style in 66 years many times and still do. If I want to be cute I wear something cute. If I want to be sexy I wear something sexy. If I want to be comfortable I wear something comfortable. Sometimes I'm more boyish and on other times I'm more feminine.
Wear what you like and feel good in. True that many females in Germany wear pants but who cares. I like dresses and I like jeans.
My wife is Japanese, and I've been living there for years. I love the "kawai" style, the freshness of the women in the morning in the subway, the care they put to be always pretty or very correct. But I don't like the make-up - because I've found that most women are naturally much more beautiful than they imagine - especially Japanese ladies with their delicious white skin!
Thank you for sharing this vulnerable video with us! 🎀
As I see it, Frau Samurai is processing her cultural shock, a Japanese young female currently residing in Germany. 🙂 And one part of it is: HER loss of feeling of HER feminity, as a person from Japan in Germany. It is very specific. It is about HER. 🙂 Just emphasizing it, because some ladies I feel like took her feelings out of context and took it personally, when she is simply sharing with us her process.
When we are someplace else on vacation for a few weeks, we notice things that are different, but we don’t care much, because we know we will be out of that place soon.
But when you are someplace else for months and months, maybe years and years to come, it is different. You notice the differences, but you are not leaving anytime soon, and your “worlds”, “programmings” start to collide.
It is something you need to find a way to reconcile with and within yourself.
I experienced this just from coming from Eastern Europe. 🙂 Different is different, and it takes time and mental-emotional power to forge a path that feels comfortable, walking a new world with a “different” mindset.
People think in this globalized world you can just go anywhere and make it work, no biggie.
It is still sometimes a biggie 😄
Places are not so similar as we first think.
But living in different countries is always a valuable experience, will learn about yourself and others so much!!
As an older German man I feel more comfortable with emancipated women - there is no hierarchy, no dominance nonsense, just equal people of differing genders, each with valid opinions and views.
Wear whatever you're comfortable with, as much or as little makeup as you like, just be yourself, stay true to yourself and stand up for yourself.
That was a really wonderful video with some unexpected conclusions. Thank you. I also loved watching you cook your wonderful meal.
Thank you for your kind comment😊 My cooking may not be perfect, but I enjoy both preparing and eating it🤭
I think being "feminine" should not mean, that you are weak. Be feminine AND strong, everything to the right time. :)
Hello 👋 I know that there are plenty of comments and personal opinions to your views in your video already.
Usually, I'm not the person leaving any comments. However, you asked a specific question at the end of your video and I would like to respond to that.
"Have you ever noticed you changed in a different environment?"
My answer is hell yes !!! Actually, all the time :)
I'm half German, half Russian and feminity in both cultures are interpreted slightly different. On top of that I've been living abroad (Ireland and UK) for more than a decate now.
I have learnt to change and adapt according to circumstances and to suit. One day I can be the strong, indipendent and often opinionated German wearing jeans and a basic jumper. On other days, I will wear a lovely classic feminine dress and braid my hair in a cute and elegant way. For me, it feels like I'm shifting in accordance with ying and yang. Hard to explain...
I'm working in a male dominated world and experienced that the "softer" I am (as in calm, caring for the collective, but still with inner strength) the more successful I am.
At university, I was sometimes the only European amongst a group of South East Asian girls. They would do everything to not be in the leader role and act rather submissive. This is when I would have to step up and take a more bold and dominant role. I would also change the sound of my voice and even the way I talk, choice of words and expressions etc.
I think you are on a great journey of self-discovery. It's nice to see that you are starting to integrate into German culture and exploring how you feel about it. Of course, you should keep your Japanese identify as well. It's part of you. It can become handy at times. If you were just becoming German it would be quite boring. A little bit of Japanese is intriguing. If you wanna dress more kawaii, please feel free to do so. Important is authenticity and that you feel good in yourself :) Others will love you for that, too.
As a German woman, I found my femininity after moving to Poland. And I'm rather mad that I grew up in Germany with that sentiment that femininity is inferior to everything being "practical". In truth German women come across as harsh and overly manly (on average) and unfortunately many (especially older women) look like they just don't care. I'm sad I only discovered so late in life that femininity can also be for me and that I can be elegant. It's not just clothes. Being elegant and feminine outside also changes how you carry yourself, your behaviour.
The nice thing about being familiar with 2 cultures is you can choose for yourself the parts that fit you best. By the way - there are lots of housewives in Germany (and there are also men who take paternity leave and stay home with the toddlers). When someone takes parents' leave, very often a new person is hired temporarily for that vanacy which is a chance for that person - so no reason for a bad conscience there. Femininity does not equal weakness and dependency. And I am very sure that Japanese women can be real lionesses when they fight for their families, for example.
Dear Frau Samurai,
please find out more about Teflon pans. These are very harmful to health, especially if the Teflon layer is scratched, as is the case with your pan. Use iron pans or ceramic pans instead. All the best.
As a German woman living in the UK, first I thought it might be an interesting insight to get by watching. But I quickly realised how negative the video sounds. I'm pretty sure you don't mean it like that but:
1. "I lost my femininity in Germany." means, that german women are not really considered feminine by you.
2. "There are no cute clothing in Germany" means, that german women don't look cute at all in your eyes.
3. Do you really think that weak is feminine and strong not? That sounds quite insulting to be honest, to all genders.
4. "we are educated to care for others" that means, Germans are selfish and don't care at all? Could it be that you can't work with people who are more outspoken and dearly honest to you?
I respect your opinion, but please be as considerate in your videos, as you said, you've been taught to be. Strong people have soft hearts too~
You nailed it! I had the same feeling about her assumptions and find it insulting as well. Seems like hidden arrogance to me.
You can not deny, Brit girls and woman are strong and independent, but much more feminine than the Birkenstocks wearing women here.
I enjoy watching the perfect long haired Brit woman on the streets, how lovely the, are and the effort they put to dress up in the eves to go out. Cheers.
First I thought the same, but then it is most likely her third language and maybe she couldn't communicate her ideas better?
Why do you believe we are not caring because we prefer to take our well deserved maternity leave? It means we don't like to be made felt guilty to not preform as some kind of a slave because society gives you the subtle pressure by the incongruous idea of hurting someone else by raising your child. Doesn't it hurt your child more than some unknown person ? This is phony concept of obedience. It's hypocrisy!
No, I don’t think the Video is wrong. She compares the German Culture with her japanese culture through HER perspective. And sorry, but in Germany the society it’s a lot more individualist than in Japan or in Brazil, where I am from. Thinking in a more individualistic way is not a bad thing. But I think maybe you Girls feel offended because have never been faced with other realities where people think a lot more about their family group and friends when making decisions. And that’s what she meant.
I will give as an example the COUNTLESS nursing homes for the elderly. Is that bad? No. It is a consequence of the structure of society. Many elderly people have chosen not to have children or many children do not feel obligated to be the caregiver for their parents in old age. And in Brazil this is completely different, because you are expected to take care of your parents in old age. One thing is not better than the other, it is just different.
Please never forget your values and heritage but don’t let either of them keep you from growing as a person.
Tradition is dead people telling you what is right and they certainly do not have the experience of today’s world as they are longe gone…
And when it comes to dressing and make-up: Do what makes YOU feel good. If you like to wear a skirt - do so. If you like to put on more make up - do so. You will find out over time where your personal preference is between blending in to the society that your are currently live in and what you makes you feel good.
But carefull with high heels, especially alone on the street, except you are able to run in it !
2 and 3 years of parental leave is amazing. So civilized and good for families!
Are you kidding? No enough nurseries and kindergardens, waiting list over 3 years, very expensive and low quality compared with other countries. Low standard of education, schools with over 65% foreigner kids in classes, they speak more Arabian than German. Part time jobs unflexible to cope with family and home duties. Unfriendly opening times for buying groceries. Germany is not best service country.
this is actually so cute...I know it can be difficult to adapt to new cultures sometimes but your approach is so gentle and inspiring
I m a German woman and 42 years old. No matter the season I wear dresses, because I feel uncomfortable in jeans. Of course I pair it with stockings or leggins even in summer. In Winter I love my high Boots with the dress. You should not dress different to what you feel comfortable and feminin with. Sending you Lots of love and encouragement 💝
Being a housewife is accepted but you can't afford it anymore if you want kids and live together both need to work or one needs to earn the income of two.
Ich kann dich sehr verstehen und hoffe dass du dich trotzdem in Deutschland wohlfühlst ❤ ich glaube das hat mit den unterschiedlichen Kulturen zu tun. Es kommt auch drauf an wo man in Deutschland wohnt. Die Bundesländer sind verschieden. Ich sende dir viel Freude und herzliche Grüße aus Deutschland 🇩🇪 und natürlich, dass du dich gut fühlst ❤
Off topic: I love Japanese food! Could you take us shopping with you, and show how you find Japanese ingredients in Germany and show us some more Japanese dishes?❤ Or if you don't find the ingredients, you usually would use in Japan, what you would use instead
I'am German but I like the Japanese people and their culture. Japanese people are great, advanced and very nice. Of course the are some differences in the living culture between Japan and Germany, but I think it is not a good idea overemphasize these differences. It makes more sense to to focus on things that these countries and cultures have in common. And that's a lot. Germany and Japan are friendship countries and this is for example reflected by fact that many Germans are very interested in the Japanese culture and the Japanese people.
Me2 Bro...love da japanese Culture and Womans....and iam a huge BABYMETAL fan🤘🦊🤘
They have some in common: They do what authorities provide them, follow, what americ. say, have many americ bases, Hiroshima + Nagasaki never had been officially excused ( except the song of Sandra from the 80), same as bombings on german cities !
That is such a good point! I would love to see more videos from Frau Samurai about similarities of both cultures ❤ I am sure there would be unexpected surprises!
The way I see it when you cover for a colleague it is expected of them to also cover for you. You still consider each other and take care of each other…
And it is important to take holidays so you can rest and recuperate. Burnt out colleagues are much more of a burden than freshly recuperated ones.
And finally, parental leave is important for society as a whole so new parents can properly care for their children.
As a Turkish woman, during my first years in Germany, I felt like I was step by step losing my feminine energy. This was because German women had changed since World War II. They had to adapt, as their country needed more hard workers. However, I eventually found a way to maintain balance. Now, I am someone who is both connected to nature, strong, and able to preserve her feminine energy. I no longer care if others around me are wearing skirts or not, if I want to wear one than I simply do. ☺💕
Some of the comments are so negative... I think what Frau Samurai means by "less feminine" isn't that German women aren't "real women" but that we don't have as strongly defined gender roles as many other cultures. I think that's true. I can't think of any culture (or at least any patriarchal culture, which 99% of humanity lives under nowadays) where being assertive, plain-looking and practical is seen as typically feminine. It isn't seen as feminine in Germany either - it's seen as a good thing for men and women alike. Hence weaker gender roles, even though I also think that even here women are expected to be nicer and more accommodating than men. But the difference is bigger in most other cultures.
Well, you can go on a holiday without guilt because next time you will be the one covering fro your colleague who goes on holiday. So really no need to feel guilt about this. You do deserve a break and especially an appropriate maternity leave.
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences with us. I love looking at you cooking. Reminds me a bit of that wonderful series Midnight in Tokyo. I can tell you haven't lost your feminity . But you have won autonomy and that is what gives you strength. Wish you all the best for 2025 and keep on sharing your life with us.
As a german woman, I can say that most of us are really strong, ambitious and looking forward to our careers. That's exactly what I was taught what femininity should look like from my very successful parents.
Looking cute is not first goal, because I want a husband similar successful to me and not someone who would want to rule my personality.
Looking cute means you’re only doing it for a husband? Seems you have some assumptions to unpack.
@@namedrop721
I am pretty fine with my looks, but thank you for your worries about this circumstance.
If you look cute, someone "rules your personality"???
@hamerful I think she means "My first priority is not looking cute. It's rather finding a husband as successful as me and someone who doesn't rule over my personality". Just a general thing
@worldwidemoon22999 thank you. Yes,that's exactly what I meant.
You can choose what you wear, you don't need to be fashionable or kawaii. You can also choose, what being feminine means to you. It differs from Japan to Germany and it was also different looking through the different centuries of human history. Have fun exploring who you are, all the best!
I have such a bad headache today and I really enjoyed your storytelling. Gave me some relief.
True femininity is not based on things like outer appearance.
I, as a German woman, love dressing up in skirts and blouses and dresses, wearing makeup with glitter, doing my hair curly and pretty and wearing jewelry. Just not every day. Thats too much of a hassle. If I feel like it, I wear makeup and pretty clothes, if I don’t feel like it, I just wear some regular pants and a shirt. The nice thing is that either is totally fine and I‘m viewed as just as much of a woman either way.
Femininity is something inside of us. Femininity is not weakness, it’s strength. It’s resilience, it’s patience, it’s being loving and nurturing. But it is not being so spineless that men walk all over you or pressure you into their mold to fit their own desires. It’s being gentle but firm, it’s guiding and not forcing, holding space for others but not making yourself small in the process. It’s being vulnerable and emotional without being helpless and self-destructive. There is so much strength and beauty in femininity that comes from within, it doesn’t necessarily show on the exterior.
From my experience many German women long for more femininity but don't dare to stand out. So in that sense it's strangely similar to Japan, since conformity is expected here as well. It's just that here wearing jeans has become the norm and many women prefer to blend in. As a fellow short-legged woman I also feel that skirts tend to be more flattering...
About being strong physically and in spirit, your observation about German women is correct. I'm not sure why that is. I think deep down women do want to be protected. Being a little softer might be good for German women too. Although independence can be necessary sometimes. Maybe it's good to find a balance. ✨
I appreciate your perspective.
Maybe some women, but I would strongly disagree being born and raised in Germany. For once, I never noticed a dislike about women wearing skirts or dresses here. I’ve seen very feminine women wearing skirts all the time and nobody really cared. Sometimes you can even get compliments if it’s a tasteful dress - at least in my experience. Most women choose pants for practical reasons, since skirts can get in the way in public transport or at work. Pants often feel more carefree and comfy and are simply practical. Skirts or dresses are often worn at summer or for going out to parties or dates, so people may stare out of curiosity, but not much more. (Staring is…rather normal here and rarely malicious.)
Being “strong” is a way of upbringing here. We don’t have many separations between girls and boys at school - there’s rarely extras or cutting slack for girls. Women are told that they can do most things men do and are even expected to this at work or at home. I went to martial art courses, went abroad to travel and moved several times completely on my own. I also proudly own a toolkit for repairs for stuff around the house and I’m not an exception at all. Most of these things are perfectly normal to do here for women.
Sure, some women might like to be the classic kind of housewife, with a partner as protecter and provider, but they don’t represent every woman in this country. (I honestly even think they are the minority here, because I haven’t met more than one personally). I also like having people on my side and have my back for support because that’s just human. But I don’t need nor want a partner to lead me, nor would any other German woman I know. Help and support is always appreciated but more than that is unnecessary.
Super video. Liked the info, format and the calm atmosphere.
quite a few of the comments under this video seem sort of offended about your definition of femininity - I assume they're from us European woman who don't think of ourselves as not feminine despite having all these traits that seem masculine to you. I think it's important to remember that every culture has their own gender roles and sometimes these roles have been present for hundreds of years for a reason, just as sometimes, recent change in the world has changed gender roles. I'm so happy for you that you can feel comfortable in a completely different culture and still never forget your origins. The concept of femininity is not just different for every culture but changes over time too. However you define your identity, as long as you do what feels right, it is right.
A lot of other commenters already said something about style and being feminine. I want to add that there are many women who would love to stay at home for a longer period of time with their kids or just being a housewife for the rest of their lives. Problem is: most of us can´t afford it. One income is not high enough to pay for rent, food, etc. At least if you are living in a bigger city. Maybe it is better in rural areas.
Ich komme aus Russland. Mir fiel es Anfangs wie dir schwer mich hier zurecht zu finden. Vor allem hat es mich oft geärgert dass alles was man unseren Jungs beigebracht hat hier nichts zählt.
Als mir ein deutscher Mann dann 2 Kinder gemacht hat und mich mit Baby und Kleinkind verließ, musste ich lernen eine starke Frau und Mutter zu werden und für meine Kinder wie auch mich zu stehen. Die anfangs verletztenden Kommentare "Bau doch selbst deine Möbel auf?! Frauen sollten es auch können." - "Tapeziere selbst deine Wohnung. Ist doch nicht schwer?" Usw. haben mich anfangs wütend und dann so selbstständig gemacht, dass ich mich inzwischen frage wofür hier eigentlich Männer da sind?
Etwas bewahrt man von seiner Kultur trotzdem immer auf: meine Kollegin sagte letztens zu mir, ich sehe aus wie eine zarte Elfe, aber bin charakterlich stark wie eine Schildmaid. Ich bedankte mich und erwiderte, dass mich das Leben hier dazu gemacht hat.
Die Frauen in den westlichen Staaten sind doch nicht in den 70ern auf die Straße gegangen, um für die Gleichberechtigung zu kämpfen, damit Frauen aus anderen Ländern hierhin kommen und dann ihrer patriarchalen Unterwerfungskultur hinterherheulen. Selbst in Deutschland sind wir nicht gleich berechtigt. Aber schon mal ein Stück weiter. Hübsch und am Herd, ehrlich nicht.
Deutsche Ehemänner, würde ich nicht empfehlen. Sie wissen nicht, wie man mit einer Frau umgeht. Deutsche Männer sind unsicher, das ist nicht gut. Die Frau hat keine Stellenwert für sie. Anders in England, dort waren die besten Herrscher Königinnen. Ich denke an ihre Nationalheldin Boadicea...
Mit Maennern kan man einen trinken gehen oder diskutieren ueber was oder wandern gehen. Sie koennen das oft besser organisieren, die km Angabe, die Tour etc...
Ich habe eine sehr ähnliche Geschichte, bin Südamerikanerin.
I made same experiences, im from eastern Europe, i live here many years. I agree with your every word, same me.
Austrian here, I used to live in Germany. Even though we speak (somewhat) of the same language, I never felt more like a foreigner than I felt in Germany. The tallness and lack of fashion is real, and worse, functionality really is placed above everything, to the point that aesthetics frequently get thrown to the wayside. In my home country, there was always a strong emphasis on beauty, in appearance, architecture, culture... all very non-functional. Unfortunately Austria became so germanised in the past ten years that I decided to emigrate. I now live in France, where people dress nicely and aesthetics are valued as much as functionality, and I am much happier here.
I think in some reasons you are right. We didn't loose our feminity but we don't show it often on the outside. European women had to become strong because of two World wars. They had to rule the countries, protect and raise the children when all men are on the battle fields. And then to rebuilt the countries after war. To be strong also means equal to men. To become independent and not to rely on men is the younger generation. The older ones were also housewives.
Now life is so expensive that it takes two saleries to afford it. Especially when you have kids. Why we can back to our jobs after maternity leave, it's law.
I lived in several countries and I loved the diversity of each of them. I learned a lot of different cultures and some customs I still use in my daily life. I also visited Japan several times. There are customs I really like but there are others I don't understand and I am happy to live in Europe.
Thank you for your nice, calm and thoughtful videos. 🙇
I live in Germany as a south eastern European woman. In south we wear alot of skirts , dresses and makeup.
But now in Germany i only wear pants and only natural makeup. If i wear skirt people look at me weird.
Im male (19) and from Germany and I want to find a cute girlfriend.
I noticed that compliments for girls/women in Japan is cute while for boys/men it is cool.
I think cute also translates to wholesome and pure while sexy might imply some kind of weirdness.
Cries in Switzerland 🥲 maternity leave is 98 days.
Just be yourself and don't worry about others and their choices on how to live their lives. I am 75, and remember well the slow lowering of German standards, with too many copying the lower standards (easy) American way of life. I remember how it was in the 60's 70's even 90's when German woman and men at least cared about a well groomed appearance. Now, look at them...obesity is growing in Germany (copying the American way...processed foods as a lifestyle, sedentary etc etc). Many, overdone nearly theatrical makeup (very US/British) too provocative clothes or the opposite, sloppy dressing. Don't lower your standards, my dear. Be a positive example. (By the way, I lived in the US in the 50's to 70's in the US. I do know about life there).
I also noticed this when I came to study in Germany, although my conclusions are different to yours.
I decided to make a concerted effort to wear skirts/dresses all year-round, even though it sometimes got me odd comments from Germans haha. The functional and hardy women in the centuries before also wore skirts -- so it doesn't have to be about being fashionable, I just feel good in skirts :)
Also with the personality, it seems to have been inverted -- women in Germany seem to always take the lead. So it's hard to find a man who I can trust haha. I guess people here think that women shouldn't depend on others. But I see this dependency between friends, between elders and their caretakers, children and their mothers, and there is nothing wrong with it (even if it's not "sexy").
It's true that being a housewife/homemaker here also isn't really accepted. My fellow students at uni are offended at my wish to one day raise a family and care for them at home. Germans think it is “oppression” to work for your family rather than to work for a boss.
This way of life seems to make them content, so I am happy for them!
But I will probably leave Germany after graduating, as I find it hard to practice my kind of femininity here.
I come from Germany and I am male. I want to find a cute girlfriend like you describe it. If I am going to start a family with a women, I want her to care for the family too so we can both give it our best.
@Alex-rj5wp all the best!
I just discovered your channel - your food looks very delicious and served with so much love!
I was a little shocked that japanese women quit their job rather than taking maternal leave. I am pregnant right now and I am obliged to take the maternal leave (6 weeks before the calculated date of delivery and 8 weeks after) - it is for regeneration and to be pepared for an probably early deliver so the state protects women and forbids employers to let a pregnant women work. Afer that often the women but also a lot of men take parental leave. I had a lot of fathers in my department who took parental leave and I very much support that fathers have time with their family during that periode, because that time with your kids is so precious and they are young once. Also it is a huge relieve for the mother during that - so I gladly took over some of their duties, that the father can spend time at home.
I think this is a difference in mindset her in Germany: I personally see it that way - the women does an amazing and mentally and physically hard job to deliver a child, also giving back a new citicen for our society that will contribute to it later. They need to have the social support or otherwise they will suffer like a lot of women in our past (mothers, grandmothers, who had to fill the role as a full time mom just to get financially dependant from one partner and have a difficult time if something happens to the partner's job - it was hard for both of them). To guarantee the job for a pregnant women is crucial that she is encouraged to come back at work after the parental leave and have an easier start. It is the same for fathers - they also keep their job legally. I really like this concept, because we are safe from injust behaviour of certain companies.
Japanese culture is very much appreciated in Germany. Especially in the big cities and Düsseldorf a lot of people are aware of Kawaii and like its unique cute styles. In the end you can really wear whatever you feel the most comfortable in
idek what femininity is half of the time other than predetermined biological things . im a young woman, i posess attributes and traits linked to my intrinsic nature as a woman but cuteness, softness, stuff like this is universal. i prefer skirts cause they suit me better and make me feel lovely but i also have a ruggid forest person side to me lol and theres also a fighter in me and such and such. i wont ever be a man. happy this is my reality jiji. u know ? i truly went down the rabbit hole about a lot of things and insecurities but i respect my genes, my people and do not feel bad for not looking like someone from a completely different environment and historical background. i love to see women from all different places including the ones that only look subtly feminine its interesting and makes you think about the unchangeable things within. sometimes its not so much about "femininity" but more so conserving your completion and original nature with all the things in this world...germany would empower me. not make me lose anything that i dont need to lose, is what i believe. and if i fall from grace from time to time its only natural. i mean call me a duck enough times i might start to quack and walk like one.
I think you should choose what you like from both cultures. For example, when you prefer to wear skirts, then do it. In Germany they usually accept a lot different life styles.
A while ago I read something about the old german tribes and the rare historical documents that show, that women were equally strong and worth than men in these tribes. They had important roles within the tribes and even supported on the war field. Maybe compareable to the Maori. So I think the returning strength that you see in german and european women is just the return to our roots. I think it was always in us and now it‘s coming back to the surface. And furthermore I think this will happen all over the world. But it will take time.
I am German and live in Thailand. Here too, women only wear jeans and shorts. Dresses are only worn at weddings or in certain professions.skirts often in hotels or banks. A rather one-sided and uncreative image. For a few years now, I have been wearing dresses every day again. My shorts and tops are banned. Dresses are so comfortable, especially in this heat here. I now have a collection of 50 dresses.
I never want to conform to a uniform image. Personally, standing out from the crowd gives me much more than going with the flow.
this is so interesting! I'm half german, half french, have always lived in germany and I've never considered german women to not be "feminine" :D but I also don't care about feminine or masculine, too much - I just feel like we all carry "both sides" (and everything in between) in us and depending on e.g. our parents, rolemodels and environments that shaped us as kids, some sides might be more pronounced than others? idk. and as you're experiencing yourself, they can shift around over time as well. anyways, sounds like you're gathering some exciting learnings for yourself and I loved hearing your perspective on this and reading all the other experiences and opinions in the comments! thanks for sharing (: also yes, please never forget or be ashamed(?) of where you come from! I love japan and I think there's so many beautiful rituals and values in japanese culture - I think we germans could "take some inspiration", so I hope there's many japanese people (or any other, too, really, I just particularly love japan haha) in germany that hold on to and share aspects of their culture in their own way and make life for us here even more colorful and nuanced, too! (:
This is very sweet to watch you by preparing the food and telling your thoughts. I am German and I lived also in an other country in Europe with an other language and mentality. I also thought the women in this country are different. But they weren't. After many years you will have friends and then you learn, they are similar with women in your country. Everywhere are women in the world who want to be a house wife and mother. Later I enjoyed to adapt other mentalities and to become one of them. It's a process, and you don't change, you simply adapt new views. Be grateful for this opportunity, just enjoy. Thank you for this nice video!
Men here: feminimity and masculinity shouldnt be societal constructs
Make up and dresses dont make you more feminine
Everything outside of biological function isnt feminime or masculine its just you and beeing unapologetically you is more masculine or feminime than anyone can tell you
Why do people obsess over whats feminine or masculine
Time and trends change but society cant tell you who you should be behind closed doors or to your loved ones
Taking care of my pregnant wife is the most masculine thing i could make
Its the same as a woman cares for her husband
And the rest is beeing yourself
My gender doesnt define me
I am more than that
And so are you
You are heard my dear, thank you for sharing your experience. I‘m am so sorry many women in the comments negate your experience! It makes me sad to see….. toughening up as a woman is not as glamorous as it seems. It is amazing to be a soft woman. I am glad, you will never forget your roots. And femininity is a blessing ❤
Well said, thank you!
Hello my dear Japanese sister,
I am sure that you have not lost your Japanese womanhood identity. You have just adapted to the circumstances and hopefully feel comfortable with them. Isn't it nice that we can largely live the way we women want to here? That we don't have such strict social rules here? You have found your way as a woman here in Germany and I hope and wish that you can enjoy being a woman here. Your home is in your heart and will never leave you. Best wishes and a big hug from me
I come from Spain and I lived in Germany for 4 years. I also noticed that German culture does not embrace femininity but in very different ways. Paradoxically, it made me appreciate and embrace femininity in myself even more!
very interesting, a woman from Italy said something similar in this comments, sounds like a fusion of both world would be great, german women could be a bit more elegant, like they are in Italy, France and Spain, but don't lose your conncection to earth , feminity is not only about our surface but come from our roots and make us powerfull.
Maternity leave is up to three years, but most women take one year or even less because it has a negative impact on your career. Just having a kid has a negative impact, to be honest... and nobody has to do your job while you are on maternity leave, you tell the company for how long you'll be gone and they will use a temp hire whose contract ends when you return. That's how a lot of people out of uni get their first year or two years of work experience after university.
I don't know where you usually stay in Germany because I don't know you and this is the first video of yours that I've seen. But I think your judgement is too general, you generalize too much. In Germany, not only functional fashion is worn! And like someone else said, clothes and cute looks say NOTHING about your femininity. German women tend to be strong and independent, which is also very feminine! But why do you live in Germany if you don't feel comfortable here?

I am a german woman who has lived in Japan for 2 years for work (research at a university). Japan and germany are really very different, but both countries have the same stereotypes of the other. As a woman alone in Japan, I often felt totally underdressed. I have never been interested in fashion or make-up. My clothes are always jeans and a simple tshirt, with or without a sweatshirtjacket on top, depending on the season. I don't wear any make-up. It took some time getting used to the fact that nobody was like that in Japan. I'm very confident and independent but it was definitely weird to not only be one of the only very visible foreigners there (corona lock-down times), but also being the only one to wear old, useful clothes every day. I wore the same 3 jeans throughout the entire time in Japan! 😂
I've seen many women also wearing "jeans and t-shirt" but always in a very clever and stylish way. I myself have no fashion sense at all, i have 3 blue jeans and maybe 10 simple tshirts. They all match with each other. I've never felt more out of place (fashion-wise) than I did in Japan.
So, I 100% understand what you mean. In germany, we women are not considered to be very different from men. Yes, we are physically weaker on average, but apart from that, we're considered capable of doing everything just like men. If at all, I think many men in germany are more dependent on women, rather than the other way around these days (although it is more like an emotional dependence). Many women decide to be single and not marry, while not many men think like this. Women can "naturally" cook and clean and take care of the household and ALSO work a full time iob. Often, men were still raised to one day be married, to take care of their career and not taught how to cook or clean properly. This is very generally speaking of course, just what I experience my fellow germans like. It's barely possible in germany for 2 people to live on 1 salary, and it has become less and less possible ober the last 30+ years, so it happened naturally that both persons in a relationship had to work to sustain life. One person not working a paid job at all just does not work. At the same time, women got more rights and eventually were declared "equal" to men (even if we still receive a lower salary on average, but this is a scandal for another discussion).
Anyways, I woke up in the middle of the night and now I'm writing way too much!
I will subscribe to you now, because this was very interesting!
And can you please identify all the products you used to cook this? Recipe please! ❤
Your video is charming, real, thoughtful. Happy to subscribe to hear more of your journeys. Interested in learning about different lives, cultures. See you later!
Naja ich wünschte mir häufiger, dass unsere Frauen femininer wären. Zuletzt ist mir der krasse Vergleich zwischen Ungarnerinnen aufgefallen. Dort macht man sich mehr zurecht. Aber der Vorteil andererseits ist, man nimmt eine Dona bella dadurch eher war und weiß es mehr zu schätzen, wenn sie sich den Aufwand macht zu gefallen. ;)
Thank you for sharing your impressions! It’s very interesting to hear which cultural differences you are noticing.
I‘m German, and I lived in Tokyo for a year - the Japanese fashion is so pretty and so classy. I love it. I wish more clothes like that were available here. I bought a bunch of kawaii coats in Harajuku, and I hope they never get damaged.🙏
You may have lost a part of your japanese femininity in Germany, but you won another kind of femininity to yourself and I'm sure I suits you well! 😀
I'm a small short-legged German and I really would love wearing dresses all year, but a I find tights uncomfortable, I usually only wear dresses in summer. As you say, most Germans do prefer practical and comfortable clothing over nice ones (although I'd always try to get clothes that are both).
I'd wish so much make-up would be just a fun thing for everyone around the world, what you can put on when you are in make-up-mood and in times you are not, no one cares - as it is for many woman in Germany. I enjoy make-up very much, but only wear it occationally. On weddings, on lazy couch days at home, some days at work - I wear make-up when I want to feel fancy, but I could go everywhere without it without anyone frowning I an wish every person could have this luxury.
At least Asian beauty standards get us the opportunity to buy great Asian skincare (I rarely buy European sunscreen anymore as the Asian ones are so much better) ...
Thanks for your video, it was quite interesting.
I think skincare is very important, though I agree that always wearing makeup is not necessary, wearing sunscreen and moisturizer everyday is ideal. So if that's your skincare I don't think you have a double standard :) I would like to see examples of what "normal clothes" from Japan you are talking about that are so fancy because it is confusing to me. I was living in Japan for 9.5 years up until the end of November 2024, and lived in both rural Japan and in the Tokyo area in Yokohama and the clothing you have on that I can see (nice neutral toned knit sweater) looks like something I saw on the average Japanese person I passed in Japan. I saw most people wearing fashionable but very practical clothing in Japan much more often than I saw people wearing kawaii girly less practical fashion. I think Japanese women are some of the strongest women in the world because of how much strength it takes to put others above yourself, especially when it comes to things like not taking maternity leave. I loved living in Japan where people are so considerate of others in public spaces it made them more comfortable and safe to be in than my home country. I think femininity can take many forms, and if you miss that feeling of femininity you used to have from certain ways of dressing you used to do in Japan, I think you should let yourself dress up more like that again because it's important to keep your identity and femininity can be a part of that. If you don't miss it that's fine too, just want to say that there's not one way to be feminine and maybe the way you express your femininity has simply changed just like other things since moving to Germany? I know my style of dress changed quite a bit after living in Japan for awhile. I started dressing much less sexy, more demure, and practically to fit in at my workplaces. None of my jobs allowed cute/kawaii adjacent fashion I always needed to be kind of plain and practical for work. It's one of the things that actually made me sad in Japan was not having the freedom to dress how I wanted to because it would give a bad impression. Though near the end of my time in Japan I stopped caring about that since I knew I was going back to my home country. It's been a little over a month since I moved back to my home country after over 9 years in Japan and it's still a lot of adjusting to do.
I moved to Germany 2 months ago, and I have been regularly visiting for over a year now. I very much agree with your video. I didn't even move far from home, just a country over but I definitely feel the difference. In Poland it's way more common to dress up, to be more feminine etc, here it's another story. But I don't want to be unhappy here, forced by society to be somebody else. I love dressing in an overly fancy way, with creative makeup and statement fashion. I want to be myself and will continue even though I will catch a few "German stares" on the street.
Stay happy
Interessant. 😊 Es gibt auch in Deutschland noch viele Hausfrauen, aber meist auf Zeit. Sind die Kinder größer, gehen viele arbeiten. Die Tatsache, dass darauf herabgesehen wird, wenn Frauen zu Hause bleiben, wird gleichzeitig aber auch viel kritisiert. Denn eigentlich wird Kindererziehung als Arbeit anerkannt wird, wenn sie beispielsweise in einem Kindergarten stattfindet. Nur eben nicht im eigenen Haus. Ein vielschichtiges Thema. 😁
Seriously being cute doesn't make you more feminine than other women. I find being sexy is more feminine to me personally. You see it's very subjective and everyone has another opinion on that. My point is, just do what you feel most comfortable and don't give a damn about anyones opinion.
This 💯
Being sexy is something that isn't only for women. It is a trait for both genders.. making it seem like being sexy is being feminine, is what men teach us.
thanks for this calming and informative video
I love this video so much. Thank you! You can learn a lot when living in other cultures, also important things. But you can never forget your roots! The smell of the meals, the climate, the social environment of your childhood will imprint and always stay with you. That's beautiful. But as you grow older, you can adapt to other experiences too.
Also ich persönlich möchte mit 41 nicht mehr süß aussehen 😅. Eher stark, sinnlich, elegant
While of course everyone should be able to dress how they like and have their own reasons for doing so, some, not all of this, "well I am just more practical/simple/functional" type mentality is really internalized misogyny these women have from their own cultural or personal experiences.
Being natural should be the beauty standard everywhere😄! And there is nothing wrong with being strong. It's healthy and can save your life as your story from the train shows!
As a German woman I studied a semester abroad in Ireland in my 20ies. The English und Irish women wear a much more sexy style und more makeup than Germans do. So I started wearing makeup every day, too. And style up. It is very warm there in winter for a woman from near the Alps. I had to buy new clothes for winter anyway.
The people look a little bit different, more redheads and black hair and other form of face but you do not stand out as a Asian in Europe.
Your environment truly moulds you.
I'm a grown woman, why should I look cute? Babies or toddlers are cute.
There are other attributes that count in adulthood.
Everyone in Germany is free to wear a skirt or dress even in winter. This used to be common in Europe too. Several layers of dense, wide fabrics that reach just above the ground are much better at keeping you warm in winter than trousers.
In US you get an adverticement : " You are not a kid, you are a man" - adverticement for a hoodie - They said Kid, not woman :)))))
I agree comrade. Why should we look cute? How will that help the industry of our nation? Layers of “dense, wide fabrics” have been the answer for decades and have never failed. Yet sometimes I dream of the music from the Nutcracker Ballet and I dream of light, floaty, gossamer garments lifting me up lighter than the air itself. And with it a small crown on top, also very light. If only …… it were not Germany.
I am german and i love to dress japanese kawaii i don’t Care what other people in Germany say 😃i love your culture and the fashion there 🥰
Proud grandchild and daughter of career oriented successful full time working grandmother (born 1931) and mother, who basically never wore heels or a lot of make up or were particularly great cooks, yet found themselves amazing husbands who loved them a lot and shared household duties and were real partners in crime. I’ve never felt unfeminine. You don’t need to be cute, or fragile, or sweet to be a real and amazing woman.
I really enjoyed your video, so relaxing
your food looks so good! i have to try and make that myself.
I dont think people mind what you wear here in Germany. I dont think anyone expects you should dress like a Germ an woman.
Im English , Im relieved that I can be more casual to be honest. when I feel like it I can still wear pretty summer dresses or long skirts in the winter, it doesnt disturb anyone in the least, even though strangers would have no reason to know I was from England. As a Japanese woman, people would expect you to wear clothes suited to your own japanese personality , theres no reason to think anyone would feel this was odd or against the grain.
I’m Brazilian and I agree with your points. Lived for 3 years in Germany and the concept of femininity there is very different (bc of feminist ideology). Idk if it’s because of the war, but old German ladies are also different from modern German ladies. In general, the old ones are more kind, soft spoken and warm in general. Modern German ladies are very practical, closed off, individualistic, they want to be seen as tough and next to a German man, they are the ones with a dominant energy. German men for instance are more passive, many are socially awkward and stingy with their money. A horrible combination in the eyes of a feminine woman, but hey, it’s their culture and how it works for them.
In my time in Germany I made friends with Eastern European women and they are much more close to me in mentality than the German ones.
Stingy with their money 😂 ... well, most of the Brazilian women I know, quite a number, and also from certain other countries are used to getting absolutely everything paid by their men/boyfriend/partner, sometimes to the point of being a bit abusive. They have extremely high expectations in that regard. Many are used or willing to subordinate a bit or more to the men's authority and dominance, which is not a trait German women appreciate much. Actually, German men only appreciate for a while paying everything to get a feminine and s_xy woman. Later, they feel abused and sucked dry by the expectations that often extend to the family of the woman.
The average German man certainly lacks a bit of gentleman-like behaviour, on the other hand, also many German women lack lady-like behaviour. I wouldn't mind being invited for coffee or a dinner once in a while, or having someone hold the door when I'm packed with bags, but I don't need to be "kept" financially by a man to feel feminine.
So inspiring really!
Several thoughts cross my mind
* Skirts I grew up in trousers, but stopped wearing them after having a very stressful period at work. Came out at the end of the tunnel and found out - I just couldn't stand the feeling of wearing trousers any more. Sort of was forced to come down to my very roots. I'm wearing dresses now all year round.
* Identity As a German woman I'm constantly thinking about equal rights, disrespect for everything female and all that stuff. Sort of constantly worrying. But your story about the train makes me realise how far I've come. I do not consent to being afraid in late night trains and midnight streets and parks. They are mine, too. (Ok, it helps that my hair is more silvery now ...) I was in a train one day, drunken soccer fans, a frightened young woman. I saw she was sort of paralysed by the potential violence which was in the air.
I went up to her, told her to come with me and we just went to the next wagon. I realised how powerful I was as a 65year old woman. Too old to get raped, too old to be paralysed .... Since then I speak up when I see or feel that there might be something going on. Quarreling couples, when I hear the aggressive tone of the male and the pleading female voice, I just step up to them and ask the woman if she needs any help and remind her that if things get out of hand she should inform the police. I'm not aggressive at all, it's just to let them know there are witnesses around and his behaviour is not appropriate. Usually both are shocked, being used that everybody just ignores and flees imminent aggression.
So you see, your story gave me back a little self respect. Thank you!
Are you living in the town where many Japanese people live?
Have a nice day
❤
Hey, thank you for sharing your authentic insights, it was quite touching ❤ I didnt expect to watch the entire thing from start to finish
I clicked on the video because I feel similarly since moving to Germany. I'm trying to get a bit of my feminitity back, but overall I am grateful for the changes I've had, influenced by Germany. The are 90% positive.
Thank you for your lovely comment😊
I'm happy the change in Germany impacted you positively.
In this country, women are the true superheroes, becoming stronger and more independent.
I wanna be feminine and I always struggled too in Germany to live a traditional feminine life as society is harsh and feminist I hate that ,then I moved to England because I found my soulmate online and now I'm happily married can be a housewife don't have to work and justify for why I'm no independent enough 🙏🏼❤️God's way of a woman is the right way , marriage children and being feminine and gentle there's nothing else that will ever fulfill you in a work space than in your natural role of being a wife and god willing a mother too🙏🏼💐
Iam so happy you shared this! And also very proud of how open minded you are. It was a bit weird for me at first to break out of the "practical" -fashion too, but I come to understand, that I feel more free to wear whatever I like. If I have a busy day nobody is mad, when I just wear comfy clothes. If I want to feel more feminine that day, I can dress up and nobody bats an eye. I don't know how it is in other countries, but it feels very freeing. I hope you like germany and the social freedom to do what you want. I think the not so common housewives here come with the increasing cost of living. So its not as common, not because we don't want it, but because we often can't. I for myself like not being a housewive, but there is nobody that thinks of them as weird. Its more considered a luxury i think. Plus a huge risk in the future, cause of divorces and lesser rent.
I enjoyed your thoughts and keen observations very much. Thank you for this video.
Tbh this video just made me think that femininity comes in all different forms and shapes 😊
I got even a little bit touched about ur train story 🥺I'm happy u stayed safe! With people like this in the world, I have a lot of hope for the future 🍀