Thank you so much for this. A month ago my brother was arrested for having images of children on a device. Our entire family and friends have been devastated. For a while now we have known he was dealing with self hatred, anger and depression. We just didn't know why. He admitted to the cops that he wanted to kill himself because his life is over. He also told them he hoped to marry some day but did not want children because of who he is. He took a lie detector test stating he had never touched children and stated he knew what he was doing was wrong and immoral. This entire thing has been very confusing because he did come from a good family but he was very bullied and became an out cast even amongst us siblings unfortunately😔 As we grew up, we all matured and assumed our brother would do the same. But he didn't. Since he was little he always hung out with kids 3-5 years younger than him and we assumed it was because after his head injury that seemed to stunt his development and learning abilities. There are so many people that hate him now and when he is released he will have no one. It is just me and my parents who believe that it is better to love and support him than abandon him. So thank you so much for this video. It solidified my opinion that people like my brother should not be killed, beat up or shunned. They should be helped! Peace and love to you all!
Even as a person who was a victim of a pedophile, I firmly believe that a large majority of pedophiles never offend and would never ever offend. I think if we were to get honest answers from people, most people would have things they imagine is some sort of passionate way, that they would never do because it goes against their morals. For example, for many years I fantasized about hurting my ex who was a terrible husband and father. I imagined doing all kinds of physical harm to him, but it's not something I'd ever do because it goes against my moral values.
My mind is blown away. This show shakes me to my core. There is no one episode where I haven’t learned at least one new thing. This episode particularly made aware of how much more I need to learn. I feel for anyone who SUFFERS of pedophilia and I really admire the battles of whoever wrote that letter.
That button analogy was perfect. In college, I remember arguing with my entire psychology class about pedophiles not chosing to be attracted to children. They could not even have an open mind about what I was trying to say and continued to tell me that I was trying to argue for the acceptance of pedophiles. I knew it sounded bad because I was saying they could not help it and they can't just stop feeling that way, but I did not feel like they should be openly allowed to be around children. Its not prejudice if you feel negatively towards pedophiles because they are always at risk of hurting our most vulnerable. Its too risky to treat it the same as race and homosexuals. So the button analogy is exactly how it should be handled. Figure out a way to make sure they can't offend without punishing them. Btw, I was in college 17 years ago, and I hope that conversation would not be as difficult today.
There is a documentary on a village for non offending and recovering pedophiles somewhere in the states. There was a documentary that I watched a while ago on it. That doc changed my heart when it comes to pedophiles and seeing them as people not just monsters. I still HATE offenders *edit that do not wish or want to stop* but those that are trying so hard really need support and compassion.
at like 35:50 when he said the thing about having a rape kink but not raping people I was like :000 because I've had a weird fascination w/ noncon porn since I discovered porn at a young age (like 10) and after being a victim of sexual assault in highschool I've felt SO much guilt and disgust with myself about it that I've never even found the courage to talk to my therapist about it
I have a question. If your 17yo son told you that he was attracted to kids but he didn’t choose it and he never wanted to molest anyone, would you try and help him or call him a monster for being born different?
Excellent episode and analysis of an extremely taboo yet important issue. It is bothersome how quick society is to castigate these individuals as if their very existence is unethical. But it’s important to remember, whether you view pedophilia as a cognitive affliction or deviant sexual orientation, it is not a choice and consequently being pedophile by itself has no more ethical implications than anything else outside the realm of choice, such as being born of a certain racial or ethnic background. As a heterosexual male, I couldn’t imagine if the tables were somehow turned and I was not able to act on - or even mention to anyone - my attraction to women. To live your whole life this way must be unspeakably difficult, and these non-offending pedophiles are worthy of our sympathy and respect, not condemnation.
i once had a dream similar to what Umberto described, that i had killed someone and i felt like a monster, so much self hate and guilt and shame, nothing like ive ever experienced in real life. then a person in my dream found out about it, and i was terrified that others would find out aswell. can't even describe the feeling. probably the worst dream ive ever had.
Dr Kirk asks why we need to quantify the orientation of the letter writer.... In answer to that question from a sex offending perspective, the gender one prefers sexually is an incredibly relevant data point in terms of predicting risk and identifying possible victims....
To me, destigmatizing pedophilia so that they can get therapy is a no-brainer. I remember being introduced to the concept a few years as a teenager through watching a review of a movie and thought nothing of it. However, I can now understand how people are skeptical of whether or not the virtuous pedophiles are actually "virtuous". Gary Gibson is one of them, as he was the leader of ASAP, but was accused a few years back on the Dr. Phil show of raping his ten year old foster-daughter. It's difficult, but I believe that it is better to give people the benefit of the doubt and listen to their story instead of assuming guilt and putting all people like them into a box. Especially with this podcast proving that in the end, it is not helpful.
Many people when talking about this issue like to emphasize the fact that counseling may make it less likely for pedophiles to harm children. While I agree with the premise and that this is a positive outcome, I feel more focus should be placed on the pedophiles themselves. These people may have sexual desires that are deviant from the norm and potentially harmful, but at the end of the day, they're still people with emotions that can suffer just like everyone else. Even offending pedophiles are thinking, feeling beings that feel pain and suffering. I don't understand why our sense of empathy seems to stop at the moment that someone does something we consider reprehensible. Sure, their actions need to be dealt with, and measures should be taken to ensure they don't harm others, but ultimately I think the world is a better place when such individuals don't suffer any more than they have to.
i agree as a former pedophile i felt disgusted by myself, and scared that people would find out. I hated myself even though I didn't act on it, I was suecidial for a long time. until I got the courage and went to a therapist at first i was scared to tell him and didn't want to be judged by him but it actually worked and helped me so much, i was no longer a pedo and i was tilted towards heterosexuality! its crazy that people think that pedophiles are born attracted to kids or that if a person is a pedophile they'll always be! which are very wrong! a person can be a heterosexual in his 20s then become a pedo in his 30s or become bisexual in his 40s, people need to understand that sexual orientation changes through time because of external factors that would change the personality of individuals.
The only TV show I've ever seen that depicted a character who was a non offending pedophile was the show "The Family"; there was only one season and it was a brilliant show on so many levels. I still grieve that it wasn't picked up for another season: th-cam.com/video/DfyV4u1ckjI/w-d-xo.html
i get you,re point when you look for photos that can be interprited as sexaul but for fiction it will direct money to adult artistis, voice actors, effects, and the regulations for the industry to make share there is no real child in the opperation basicaly it takes money away from child filmers to ficticous adult opperations.
i'm sorry i can't empathize with these people and really i don't even know why anyone wants to start to. This is something that in no way should be normalized and i just had to stop 8 minutes in.
If you watch the whole thing you hear a very good explanation for why we should reach out to these people and help them it’s a shame you didn’t get that far
This was interesting. The support that non offending minor attracted people need support for the betterment of society. I've always wondered how we we supposed to help people early to avoid infraction. Also, this was made in 2019 and Umberto still refers to women as females? Is he trolling? That and his mansplaining trigger is....I don't have the exact words but it seems like he doesn't have a positive outlook or relationship with female human beings human beings in general.
Yeah, what’s wrong with saying “females”? Also, what do you mean Humberto is “mansplaining” ? Do you just mean that he is speaking on a podcast while being male? Lol
You like to use euphemisms to beautify deviance and degeneration yet you find a very natural and very old interchangeable use of words "woman" and "female" in the English language somehow offending? If, according to you, in 2019 women are not females, then who would exactly be "female human beings" in your last sentence? Do they even live on Earth?
Thank you so much for this. A month ago my brother was arrested for having images of children on a device. Our entire family and friends have been devastated. For a while now we have known he was dealing with self hatred, anger and depression. We just didn't know why. He admitted to the cops that he wanted to kill himself because his life is over. He also told them he hoped to marry some day but did not want children because of who he is. He took a lie detector test stating he had never touched children and stated he knew what he was doing was wrong and immoral. This entire thing has been very confusing because he did come from a good family but he was very bullied and became an out cast even amongst us siblings unfortunately😔 As we grew up, we all matured and assumed our brother would do the same. But he didn't. Since he was little he always hung out with kids 3-5 years younger than him and we assumed it was because after his head injury that seemed to stunt his development and learning abilities. There are so many people that hate him now and when he is released he will have no one. It is just me and my parents who believe that it is better to love and support him than abandon him. So thank you so much for this video. It solidified my opinion that people like my brother should not be killed, beat up or shunned. They should be helped! Peace and love to you all!
Even as a person who was a victim of a pedophile, I firmly believe that a large majority of pedophiles never offend and would never ever offend. I think if we were to get honest answers from people, most people would have things they imagine is some sort of passionate way, that they would never do because it goes against their morals. For example, for many years I fantasized about hurting my ex who was a terrible husband and father. I imagined doing all kinds of physical harm to him, but it's not something I'd ever do because it goes against my moral values.
I think there's a catch 22 for people with pedophilic tendencies. They may want to reach out but fear expressing their thoughts due to fear of arrest.
As a victim, this has been life changing for me. Thank you so much.
My mind is blown away. This show shakes me to my core. There is no one episode where I haven’t learned at least one new thing. This episode particularly made aware of how much more I need to learn. I feel for anyone who SUFFERS of pedophilia and I really admire the battles of whoever wrote that letter.
That button analogy was perfect. In college, I remember arguing with my entire psychology class about pedophiles not chosing to be attracted to children. They could not even have an open mind about what I was trying to say and continued to tell me that I was trying to argue for the acceptance of pedophiles. I knew it sounded bad because I was saying they could not help it and they can't just stop feeling that way, but I did not feel like they should be openly allowed to be around children. Its not prejudice if you feel negatively towards pedophiles because they are always at risk of hurting our most vulnerable. Its too risky to treat it the same as race and homosexuals. So the button analogy is exactly how it should be handled. Figure out a way to make sure they can't offend without punishing them. Btw, I was in college 17 years ago, and I hope that conversation would not be as difficult today.
There is a documentary on a village for non offending and recovering pedophiles somewhere in the states. There was a documentary that I watched a while ago on it. That doc changed my heart when it comes to pedophiles and seeing them as people not just monsters. I still HATE offenders *edit that do not wish or want to stop* but those that are trying so hard really need support and compassion.
at like 35:50 when he said the thing about having a rape kink but not raping people I was like :000 because I've had a weird fascination w/ noncon porn since I discovered porn at a young age (like 10) and after being a victim of sexual assault in highschool I've felt SO much guilt and disgust with myself about it that I've never even found the courage to talk to my therapist about it
I have a question. If your 17yo son told you that he was attracted to kids but he didn’t choose it and he never wanted to molest anyone, would you try and help him or call him a monster for being born different?
This was incredibly interesting and enlightening! Thank you for the work that you do.
Excellent episode and analysis of an extremely taboo yet important issue. It is bothersome how quick society is to castigate these individuals as if their very existence is unethical. But it’s important to remember, whether you view pedophilia as a cognitive affliction or deviant sexual orientation, it is not a choice and consequently being pedophile by itself has no more ethical implications than anything else outside the realm of choice, such as being born of a certain racial or ethnic background.
As a heterosexual male, I couldn’t imagine if the tables were somehow turned and I was not able to act on - or even mention to anyone - my attraction to women. To live your whole life this way must be unspeakably difficult, and these non-offending pedophiles are worthy of our sympathy and respect, not condemnation.
i once had a dream similar to what Umberto described, that i had killed someone and i felt like a monster, so much self hate and guilt and shame, nothing like ive ever experienced in real life. then a person in my dream found out about it, and i was terrified that others would find out aswell. can't even describe the feeling. probably the worst dream ive ever had.
Dr Kirk asks why we need to quantify the orientation of the letter writer.... In answer to that question from a sex offending perspective, the gender one prefers sexually is an incredibly relevant data point in terms of predicting risk and identifying possible victims....
Wow, this was so interesting. Thank you Dr Kirk for all you do to help people.
To me, destigmatizing pedophilia so that they can get therapy is a no-brainer. I remember being introduced to the concept a few years as a teenager through watching a review of a movie and thought nothing of it. However, I can now understand how people are skeptical of whether or not the virtuous pedophiles are actually "virtuous". Gary Gibson is one of them, as he was the leader of ASAP, but was accused a few years back on the Dr. Phil show of raping his ten year old foster-daughter. It's difficult, but I believe that it is better to give people the benefit of the doubt and listen to their story instead of assuming guilt and putting all people like them into a box. Especially with this podcast proving that in the end, it is not helpful.
It is so wild to go from hearing how you speak on your therapist reacts vids to this. Rated R dr honda!! Hahahah
Many people when talking about this issue like to emphasize the fact that counseling may make it less likely for pedophiles to harm children. While I agree with the premise and that this is a positive outcome, I feel more focus should be placed on the pedophiles themselves. These people may have sexual desires that are deviant from the norm and potentially harmful, but at the end of the day, they're still people with emotions that can suffer just like everyone else. Even offending pedophiles are thinking, feeling beings that feel pain and suffering. I don't understand why our sense of empathy seems to stop at the moment that someone does something we consider reprehensible. Sure, their actions need to be dealt with, and measures should be taken to ensure they don't harm others, but ultimately I think the world is a better place when such individuals don't suffer any more than they have to.
i agree as a former pedophile i felt disgusted by myself, and scared that people would find out.
I hated myself even though I didn't act on it, I was suecidial for a long time. until I got the courage and went to a therapist at first i was scared to tell him and didn't want to be judged by him but it actually worked and helped me so much, i was no longer a pedo and i was tilted towards heterosexuality!
its crazy that people think that pedophiles are born attracted to kids or that if a person is a pedophile they'll always be! which are very wrong! a person can be a heterosexual in his 20s then become a pedo in his 30s or become bisexual in his 40s, people need to understand that sexual orientation changes through time because of external factors that would change the personality of individuals.
The only TV show I've ever seen that depicted a character who was a non offending pedophile was the show "The Family"; there was only one season and it was a brilliant show on so many levels. I still grieve that it wasn't picked up for another season: th-cam.com/video/DfyV4u1ckjI/w-d-xo.html
i get you,re point when you look for photos that can be interprited as sexaul but for fiction it will direct money to adult artistis, voice actors, effects, and the regulations for the industry to make share there is no real child in the opperation basicaly it takes money away from child filmers to ficticous adult opperations.
But it's feeding their addiction
this is so interesting.
*Trigger Warning*
i'm sorry i can't empathize with these people and really i don't even know why anyone wants to start to. This is something that in no way should be normalized and i just had to stop 8 minutes in.
Exactly whether they act on it or not, they should really get help because it’s not okay!
Never said it was okay to rape a child. These people's brains are built like this. If they obey the law, they shouldn't be shamed.
Cinnamon Girl yeah, I understand that, you don’t have to be sorry, emotions are emotions
If you watch the whole thing you hear a very good explanation for why we should reach out to these people and help them it’s a shame you didn’t get that far
This was interesting. The support that non offending minor attracted people need support for the betterment of society. I've always wondered how we we supposed to help people early to avoid infraction.
Also, this was made in 2019 and Umberto still refers to women as females? Is he trolling? That and his mansplaining trigger is....I don't have the exact words but it seems like he doesn't have a positive outlook or relationship with female human beings human beings in general.
What is wrong with "female"?
Yeah, what’s wrong with saying “females”? Also, what do you mean Humberto is “mansplaining” ? Do you just mean that he is speaking on a podcast while being male? Lol
S Martin “minor attracted people” lol let’s call them what they are. pedophiles.
While
You like to use euphemisms to beautify deviance and degeneration yet you find a very natural and very old interchangeable use of words "woman" and "female" in the English language somehow offending?
If, according to you, in 2019 women are not females, then who would exactly be "female human beings" in your last sentence? Do they even live on Earth?