AITA For Refusing To Pay For My Nephew’s College Education After Setting Clear Conditions?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.พ. 2025
- AITA For Refusing To Pay For My Nephew’s College Education After Setting Clear Conditions?
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AITA For Refusing To Pay For My Nephew’s College Education After Setting Clear Conditions?
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A woman who grew up in a middle-class family married into wealth and wanted to help her struggling sister, Sarah, and her nephew, Jake, by offering to pay for his college. However, she set reasonable conditions: he needed to work part-time, complete volunteer hours, and maintain a modest GPA to show commitment and responsibility.
Jake agreed but failed to meet any of the conditions. His grades slipped below the requirement, he barely worked, and he didn’t complete a single hour of community service. Despite multiple reminders and chances, he made no effort to improve. When the woman decided to withhold financial support based on their agreement, Sarah became furious, accusing her of being manipulative and cruel. She guilt-tripped her relentlessly, even enlisting their mother to pressure her further.
Wanting to keep the peace, the woman lowered her expectations significantly and gave Jake another chance with even easier conditions. Yet, he still did nothing. When she finally stood firm and refused to pay, her sister and mother turned against her completely, painting her as selfish and uncaring.
After relentless guilt and emotional pressure, she eventually caved and agreed to pay for Jake’s education with no conditions. But in doing so, she realized that, to her family, she was nothing more than a source of money. Her generosity was expected, not appreciated, and her boundaries meant nothing. Though she gave in, she lost respect for them, knowing that they would always see her as a wallet to be opened rather than a family member to be valued.
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#redditfamily #reddit #familyrelationships #redditstories
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In my senior year of HS, I was working ~30hrs/week and still managed a 3.8GPA. The kid didn't even try to meet any of the goals OP set. There was literally no effort on the kid's end, so it makes sense OP wouldn't want to help. If the kid can't even handle that, there's no way he'd get through pre-med and med school.
So high school in the states is the same than medical school? I am an MD, and let me tell you, it is not the same.
@MartyMcfry_ The kid isn't in med school yet. He's in his last year of high school. If he can't handle a part time job and his high school studies (and it actually dropped even after OP lowered the expectations), this kid will struggle the hell out of med school. I don't know where you got that the kid was already in med school. I doubt any high school ANYWHERE in the world is as intense as med school and therefore, if he can't handle high school and work, he won't be able to handle med school.
@pataoyang4563 I agree. If he is in high school still he is not pulling his weight
If he can't even manage the basics, he'll never make it through med school. Maybe she could pay half the fees...
In that kind of stories I always wonder when these young people have a life .... school + 20 hrs job + community service + 8 hrs sleep + 1 hour sports + time for 3 meals + transport to and from job / school.+ homework....that’s an awful time table .
Boy is too lazy for college 😂an the mom is crazy if she think he would even finish
Would not have mattered anyway. She should have said she would pay for pre med and medical school once he had been accepted into the programs. With a C/D grade average that would not get you into a good community college let alone medical programs !!!!!!
Moms tell their kids they can’t go out & play until their homework & chores are done. So she should have been telling him to get his work & schoolwork done. 80 hrs of volunteer work per year is one & a half hrs a week
Tell your mom to pay
OP's extremely delusional and even controlling. It wasn't just her unreasonable expectations, but she kept comparing Jake to herself as a teenager. We get it you did a lot in high school and didn't have a life, but not every teenager's like that. Heck, no teenager should live like that: they need time to hang out with their friends and relax from school. I understand working part time and maintaining his grades, but that's it. He likely already has community service requirements for graduating, so OP should've left it at that.
It's OP's money at the end of the day and they should've had a conversation about the expectations before agreeing, but OP wanted it either her way or the highway, ignoring Jake's efforts. He still worked part time, did community service, and maintained decent grades. Success doesn't mean working yourself to the bone and not having fun: it's putting in a bit of effort every day while still enjoying your life.
I think OP created too many demands. High school is very stressful. Especially, the 3rd year when they have to do APs, Sats, essay and college app. is very stressful and demanding. Expecting him to work 20 hours or more a week, do community service according to her mandates is just too much. The school has their own setup for this. Plus, the kid would have to get into a good premed program and then medical school. OP needs to rethink this whole situation. Maybe, let him take loans and when he is finished his program then, you pay.
So u failed him because u were tired & didn’t know how to use the block button
dumb story
Good marks and a job is fair enough
But expecting him to do 80 hours a year of free labor is a bit unreasonable, you should've made it 8 to 10 hours because you honestly cannot expect a teenager to want to spend 80 hours of their time doing something while getting nothing in return
I think that's a bit much school,job and 80 hours of volunteering
@lashunelillie9896
And school can be exhausting along with work
I think the nephew was trying to follow the demands but then realised they were working on weekends instead of resting so their grades were dropping from being tired
He was a bad investment.
Its your fault. If the story is even real. All these stories are the same
Stupid story.