One thing that is important to keep in mind is that, even if Blake Lively IS a mean person, that doesn't mean she's lying about what Baldoni did. I don't particularly like her based on what I've learned about her through the years, but like, that doesn't really have anything to do with the matter at hand. It feels like a lot of people still have the idea that victims need to be "good" and abusers need to be "bad," and if an abuser seems nice or a victim seems mean, then it must be a lie. You shouldn't have to be a perfectly nice and good person to be believed.
FR! I don't like her but I'm still gonna believe her Back in high school I knew a girl who I could not stand and found "mean", but when it came out she was assaulted by her guy friend best believe I was 100% on her side and called out anyone discrediting or victim blaming her.
i give anne hathaway the benefit of the doubt regarding that interview, because - les mis was one of the greatest accomplishments of her career, a huge live singing role, she shaved her head, her character dies in the first half and she racked up academy awards- this is a BIG deal and, maybe i’m just a huge les mis nerd and that’s why i can put myself in her shoes. i don’t see les mis as a love story like the interviewer was suggesting, and DEFINITELY not for Fantine, who’s whole arc is that she lost her virginity to her first crush who left her alone pregnant, she works to pay for her child to be taken care for at an orphanage, and dies of sexual infections after becoming a sex worker in hopes of earning for her daughter. to anne hathaway, this movie is about dealing with losing your life, losing your daughter, losing the innocence and goodness you believed in the world.. Fantine was lied to, cheated, used, abused and her last breaths were to make sure her daughter was taken care of. and the interviewer is like “do you remember your first crush” like maam this woman’s first crush kinda led to her death i mean i don’t think that’s what we wanna ask😅😂
thank you for this context, it definitely changes the perspective. this is why i try not to form any opinions on 10-second clips with no background info
Wow 😮 thank you I totally forgot this even though I've seen the film (can't remember if all this was mentioned throughout it though). I also wondered if Anne Hathaway was a bit touchy in that interview because she was maybe being criticised a bit behind the scenes? I mean Les Mis is a big deal and very demanding, I can imagine... with the emotional roller-coaster the characters go on, the extent you have to stretch your vocal chords, not to mention the pressure to get down to a very light body frame 'cos of the setting and the fact many of the characters are meant to be starving 😮. I can imagine a lot of criticism was regularly thrown at the actors (however well meant perhaps) because they were supposed to achieve a level of perfection on this project because well.... it's Les Mis. Anne was possibly a bit fed up and burnt out even if she was grateful for being involved with it. She also did apparently apologise to the interviewer later on which is really nice and the interviewer acknowledged this in one of her videos :)
😮 This smear campaign reminds me of Justin and Britney spears. He was the cheater, he made her abort their child yet the world attacked Britney because Justin made everybody think he was a good guy and she was the mean one
I didn't know there was an abortion involved, or that he supposedly cheated on her. Anyhow when people are young a lot of childishness passes back and forth. We're all older, wiser, and more mature now and wouldn't act nearly the same way in the same situation.
Or when Justin damaged the clothes of Janet Jackson and caused this embarrassing moment on MTV, then somehow was it her fault and Janet got canceled 🤷🤦
Yes, it's the same thing over and over again. Brithey - Amber - Blake. But lot of other 'mean, superficial' women. Once people think they are 'allowed' to hate on some woman they go for it.
She’s not just mean though she got married on a plantation. I believe her as a victim but she’s still a bad weird person who got married on a damn plantation
@@dahliadaydream But that's the entire point. There is no perfect victim. Blake Lively can be an asshole and still sexually harassed. Her being an asshole doesn't invalidate her claim or that abuse is wrong. That you feel the need to qualify her victimhood in any way is weird.
I can't say that I was super emotionally invested in this, but as an internet passerby, I was definitely fooled by the narrative that Blake Lively wasn't taking the movie seriously while Baldoni was, if only because the snippets I saw pointed to this. I'm disgusted by Baldoni but I'm also disgusted by Sony, who wanted to keep the PR around the movie light in the first place.
Even when Blake was being raked over the coals, I just rolled my eyes. If people clipped things I say on a daily basis, I’d be cancelled to the next century. And I’m sure it’s the same for everyone!
i mean i don’t think either of us has ever done antebellum wedding but whatever. we don’t have to make her out to be a perfect victim and an angel to call out ways she HAS been victimized
@@heartcatchprecuregrow up. It’s someone else’s wedding. It has nothing to do with you and depicts a fantasy version of a time in American history. Grow up!
@@heartcatchprecureas a black person I think it’s insensitive but I kind of?? Don’t care. Weird to hold one day/mistake against someone lol. It’s not like she’s proudly racist
I was definitely bamboozled. I projected my childhood trauma of being bullied by mean girls onto her. This is a wake-up call for me to try my best to be aware when I project old emotions onto reality.
@angiem1704 I never said I like Blake Lively or think she's completely innocent. The fact of the matter is, what she did isn't illegal, but what Baldoni did is.
@@annwe6 BL doesn't have to be ''innocent'' to deserve respect on set. You're falling into the trap here, that a woman has to be the PERFECT VICTIM to be allowed to call out bad behaviour.
@@SusanaXpeace2u Actually, I was just asking the other commenter to explain their point. It’s easy to throw around vague statements without backing them up with any real thought process. You’re absolutely right-nobody, including Blake, needs to be a 'perfect victim' to be believed. I didn’t fall into a trap; I was setting one.
@@rina-nv5yr Ehh, I don’t think so, I think she’s done more than enough to prove her insufferableness. You only get so many chances, in her case it seems like the studios even dislike her.
@@Ryan-cb1ei At most she is just annoying. Her biggest crime is not liking the OG Snow White lmao. If you are so pressed about accurate adaptations then you should put that energy on to Disney or watch other adaptations of the story. You guys act like she commited a crime lol.
Two truths can exist at the same time: Blake lively can be a mean girl AND also be totally justified in her claims against Baldoni. It is likely that they both suck for different reasons.
i’m tired of this take tbh. it misses that: 1. being a mean girl and a sexual harasser are VASTLY different levels of bad 2. that what we saw in the media about blake was a smear campaign created my baldoni’s PR team
It's not illegal to be a mean girl in some people's opinion. Obviously not in the opinion of the cast that still follow her and are sticking up for her. It's ALWAYS illegal to harass someone AND its never good to try to destroy someone career. Notice there is no male equivalent for the derogatory term 'mean girl'. So there is no label attached to him destroying a career, but she gets the catchy derogatory label for a bit of an attitude with someone she doesn't like which is a much lesser evil of the two
@@currentlynoname7499 The 'mean girl' thing has lost all meaning, much like "Karen". Both are now attached to ANY woman, regardless of motivation or circumstances that is assertive or disagreeable. It is EXHAUSTING.
It's a pattern that happens all the time to women in Hollywood. One minute they're America's sweetheart and the next they're villainized for the smallest things. Britney Spears, Jennifer Lawrence, Chappelle Roan come to mind but there have been many.
chapelle roan was a special one because they tried to cancel her because she reminded people that they're not entitled to every minute of her life outside her home
@@whisperpone And because she dared withheld an endorsement from someone advocating genocide while catering to moderate Republicans, even though she was still pledging to vote for her--and because she cared about Palestinian lives, she was painted as this horrible person. Unbelievable stuff. How dare this woman not shut up about the invasiveness of some creep grabbing at her while she's at a friend's birthday party, and how dare she not be the Democrats' slaves and instead have her own mind, and push for them to be better by leveraging her endorsement? How dare she do a purity test? That was all so crazy. I think she's awesome for having convictions.
I was sexually harassed by a man in a position of power and Blake’s initial comments about Justin immediately told me she had experienced the same thing. Sometimes we want to be able to say what someone did to us but for some reason, can’t, so we say something that is minor but still not great. There’s always something more though, and I was so disheartened by how few people recognized this and immediately attacked her.
Come to think of it, this is probably why I was suspicious of the whole thing. I went through that, too. It was a church elder. I gave a very lame negative opinion about him, then just left the church altogether. It's so disempowering; you feel like no one will believe you or you don't have the right. Maybe some part of me recognized that feeling in her.
It’s very telling how when men get accused of things the public responds with skepticism and “the benefit of the doubt,” but when unsavory rumors about a woman come out she is immediately met with vitriol.
I think the context and details matters. As she mentions in the video sexual assault is a crime being mean isn’t so their is a difference in consequences sometimes. And I think the tabloid news media chooses winners and losers for their own Hollywood / journalism/ corporate media industry reasons sometimes and the public may or may not follow along.
And when men get accused their wives fall with them even when they had no decisions regarding it. Ex: Marie Antoinette, and currently Ex Syrian president's wife (Because they found a Louie vuiton bag at their abandoned mansion) they say she is just as guilty as he is!
This sounds like more of your own biases and projections, just as Ana discuss in the first few minutes of the video. What an odd and sweeping generalization, can’t even say off the top of my head that this is a remotely true trope, it’s probably more the opposite if anything.
@@Ryan-cb1ei What exactly do you think I’m “projecting” here? I’m not famous, I’ve never been dogpiled online, I’ve never accused anyone of misconduct. I have no relationship to Blake’s experiences. And I’m clearly not alone in this opinion. I just think it’s a little backwards that Blake is getting so much hate for relatively minor faux pas while Justin nearly got away with saying incredibly vile sh*t and s*xual misconduct on set, and the public response seems quite disproportionate about these two things. With men it’s always “we don’t know the full story” or “we need the full context” but that same grace is rarely applied to women.
I was once the victim of a pretty nasty smear campaign in an online game I spent years playing. This was an incredibly traumatic experience for me. I am also on the spectrum so I had no idea what was happening or why it was happening. I'm glad that this awful experience has finally proved itself useful to me. The moment I saw these Blake Lively videos on my feed, I avoided them for a long time. Finally, when I watched one out of curiosity as to what could make a person so hated by the public eye, I found they were very unsubstantiated arguments. Was she maybe unlikeable for behaving a certain way? Sure. But it was nothing enough to garner full blown hatred. I immediately noticed that this felt a lot like my own smear campaign experience. I could spot how wrong everybody was, and how easily manipulated people are. Thank you for your video. I really appreciate the media literacy, which is a muscle that needs to be constantly worked on. The part you mentioned about how "we love to condemn women who bring out our insecurities," helped me realize why I was the victim of the smear campaign in the first place. I didn't do anything wrong, it was their insecurities that were triggered. Thanks for helping me understand what went wrong.
I had something similar happen to me on my own social media account by so-called friends over a post they didn't like. Sadly some people have brought the cancel culture mentality to their personal lives. It's definitely a sign of insecurity and immaturity.
Omg that sounds awful, it is the same as bullying but bullies can bring unlimited amount of people into it, so scary. So sorry you have had to witness something like that. People really should think . Someone could end their life because of this kind of a behavior.
Your video back then was the ONLY one I could find (and I looked) where someone was questioning the narrative. I thought I was losing my mind because I couldn’t find anything that seemed balanced. Thank you for your take!!!
very well said. My fiancé had the same prediction & said “i see right through that guy, he’s full of it”. I was manipulated & i hope it doesn’t happen again!
My bf thought both were to blame in Depp's trial and was right. He is also usually right about anyone we come across while I am usually blindsided by others by choosing to see the best in everyone
I had the same prediction about Depps trial and this Blake Lively situation. IMO if there is a sudden flood of hate towards someone you just shouldn’t trust it fully. While o don’t really like Amber Heard and I don’t like Blake Lively, both those situations felt like a smear campaign. And in real life , when i hear from people what a unique, interesting person someone is, usually they turn out to be a narcissist who really tried to spread that message around.
The interview with Anne Hathaway was 100% on the interviewer, her presumption that a complete stranger would be down to perform for her on demand made ME uncomfortable, can't imagine how Anne felt.
Exactly, as if she would do those interviews just to get these uncomfortable moments with almost every other female guests she has, so weird. I would never talk like that to a person, like she to these people. She treats them like a clowns, like : dance to me, sing to me etc.
The Anne Hathaway clip just struck me as her setting polite but firm boundaries (she's not going to sing impromptu during an interview, and she's not going to discuss the personal/emotional details of her first crush) and then just honestly answering a kind of weird interview question. At least, it struck me as weird question to ask of someone who's doing a press tour for Les Mis, anyway. Maybe it's just because I feel strongly about either overly romanticizing the human experience of the past, or dismissing it (like when people say that no one in the past got as attached to their children because infant mortality was so much higher).
Those questions also felt inappropriate for an interview about Les Miserables, tbh. Very fluffy questions for a movie about wealth inequality, death, and desperation in 1800s France lol, felt like she wasn't super well versed in the subject matter
Additionally i thought they were inappropriate because there was huge backlash already about anne not being able to sing and not being able to sing like everyone else @@KristinaHuegelOnStage
Couldn’t agree more. Nothing wrong with boundaries. In fact I think celebrities have to set lots of boundaries because of the amount of people they encounter as part of the job. Just because an interviewer wants her to do something or wants her to answer, does not mean she has too. That’s not rude.
This is a basic-ass take from me, but there are tons of clips where a male actor clowns on a shitty interviewer and everyone acts like that makes him the coolest person in the world. But women have to put up with it?
We can know ENOUGH to make certain assessments. I know Justin Baldon from the “Man Enough” Podcast. Which is supposed to combat EXACTLY the stuff he talks about on there.
When I watched the Anne Hathaway interview, I was surprised to see that people thought she was rude. By the way, A.H. issued an official apology to avoid being cancelled and suffer the same treatment Blake Lively had to endure. As a European point of view (French to be precise), I never thought AH was rude to the interviewer. She could be perceived as uncooperative to some extent. It is clear that the interviewer was expecting more and was excited to do this interview and discuss the movie. She is certainly passionate about her job. However, AH was not rude. And then it clicked for me. Politeness in the USA is being friendly, whereas politeness is about showing respect in Europe/France. It was clear that AH was not in the best mood for this interview and personnally I would be as uncomfortable with the interviewer's questions and requests. I would have said no to sing and would not have elaborated further, as AH did. I also agree with you. The video were edited. I would be curious to watch the full clip without interruptions and cuts. The interviewer became suspicious with her intentions when she released several videos back to back in a short period of time which had the same narrative : her being a victim of many celebrities. They lacked authenticity. Why did she seem to take pleasure or satisfaction to expose celebrities in that way? Why did she seem to villainize certain type of people, mainly women, and glorify others. Something is off with her.
You are bang on about American ettiquette, especially in those millennial and younger. You can be misconstrued so easily when you’re a woman who’s not bubbly or overtly friendly. You’re meant to hyper engaged and responsive, and down to discuss whatever. Privacy can be seen as snobbishness. I do like the generally upbeat American spirit but oftentimes it can act as a fake veneer. Someone can be utterly cruel to you and as long as they say it in a nice enough voice, if you say anything back people will act as if you started the argument.
Also must add this very appropriate Sondheim excerpt: “You’re so nice. You’re not good, you’re not bad, you’re just nice. I’m not good, I’m not nice, I’m just right- I’m the Witch!”
@@Doxygurl That's not my experience of being an American. Maybe it's a regional thing. Bubbly, overly-friendly, and hyper-engaged are definitely not expected or idealized in all parts of the US.
@ That’s true, it does vary a lot based on region. But also I specified millennial or younger. It’s my experience in American millennial culture that you have to try to be positive and upbeat, or you’re viewed as negative or unfriendly, or they’re speaking woo woo law of attraction or psychobabble, you’re bad luck or toxic respectively. Also I find it’s something that’s expected from young women; female celebrities are expected to have that young and sweet aura as long as they possibly can.
girl, entire summer it felt like i was in twlight zone and your video made me so happy, because it was SO TRANSPARENT what was happening, i couldn't believe you were the only person catching that bs.
Apparently the mean girl interviews were at a time in Hollywood when actresses were protesting against the questions they were asked in comparison to their male co stars. Like, women would be asked vapid questions about wardrobes and childhood crushes, but men would be asked about the depth and development of their characters.
It's like everyone has amnesia. That response was iconic at the time. The interviewer saying that should would indeed ask men made me roll my eyes at the time
Oh please, she was a mean girl in that interview. They were asking about the costumes in a period drama. Just cause she was abused or there was a media campaign against her it doesn't mean she is always in the right.
I'm glad I didn't get sucked into this one, I saw a little bit about what she did "wrong" and had a feeling that the internet was just doing its quarterly blow-up over some tiny faux pas that any non-famous person could do and get away with because we're all human. A predatory PR firm being behind it fully makes sense. Maybe we should all just stop flipping out every time we realize that humans are human. Thank you for being honest through this whole thing as always!
Can't say I really saw through it like that, but I definitely saw a compilation for why she is supposedly the worst and thought to myself "wow I'd easily do that stuff wrong". Fame is just not the glorious life we make it out to be.
Maybe I'm ignorant, but that interview clip didn't even seem that bad? Like, I took that to be two friends teasing each other. Also, the Anne Hathaway one seemed fine as well. "I dont feel like singing right now, but I'm fine if you want to" and if you asked me my first crush, i wouldn't remember either
What I learned is that 4 minute "mean girls" interview was not a snippet of an hour long interview where only bad parts were shown. It was the full speed interview. BL can be both rude and a victim at the same time, not either or. And yes, this is much more nuanced and complicated than it seems on the surface.
12:55 That is an absolutely CRAZY RIDICULOUS take! If a woman weaponizes false allegations against u and tries to completely destroy ur life, U cant get angry and call them out for the trash that they are?!?!? Purposely false allegations should b a crime IMO.
I find it very interesting how people see things as either black or white. If person A is a bad person, then A's enemy B must be a good person or vice versa. Both can be true at the same time: Blake being mean and incosiderate and Baldoni being a bad person. As you said, i don't know any of them personally and interviews and televised segments are not enough to draw a conclusion.
Thank you so much for making videos like these. You made a video a long time ago where you touched on Amber Heard being unjustfully vilified and it helped me change my mind and understand that situation better. Thank you.
Omg thank you for covering Kjersti. The way she tried to crucify Anne Hathaway and get views from it right after the Blake lively situation was crazyyy clout chasing work. I feel bad for Anne that she felt like she had to apologize to Kjersti (probably out of fear of getting the same wrath Blake did). And it was ALL because she didn’t want to sing her responses to interview questions. She’s not a dog who barks on command.
The thing is that i do see that Blake Lively was mean to Kjersti Flaa, but not Anne Hathaway. Anne Hathaway was just setting boundaries, but i found it straight and direct, but not rude. BL‘s behavior was rude.
I was honestly taken in by that dude. I saw that dude’s TeD talk years ago and thought he was genuinely one of the good ones who is making an effort and truly understands women. Goes to show how charming and how evolved the grifters are. A clear case study of mn who are master manipulators.
@@nataliaalfonso2662 That's... wildly pessimistic and doesn't even make logical sense. Every single person, or man, doesn't need to be a horrible person for the world to still not fit some definitions of "good". "one rotten apple spoils the bunch" makes a lot of sense. You only need one serial killer to terrorize an entire town etc. Not all the men are serial killers for this to happen.
He really said all the right things. Usually you can tell if a guy is performative in his feminism if he acts like he can do no wrong, gets defensive about criticism/his mistakes, or paints himself as a savior. JB did the opposite of all of that by holding men including himself accountable. These grifters are getting sneakier and sneakier.
@@alyssapinon9670 they’re not GETTING THAT WAY. It’s why all literature about liars and manipulators and evil men from CENTURIES AGO always talk about how wonderful they are at charming people. Even millennia ago in many cases. I just don’t think people read enough.
I saw it too! Tbh I never liked Blake Lively but when I heard that guy hired some super known PR team, I was surprised people are not connecting dots between that and sudden blow up of hate online towards Blake. And people would say bad things about Blake and praising Justin while at the same time talking about him hiring PR team. Like dude what do you think PR’s job is? It’s to make people online like YOU think something
Personally, I found it super suspicious that the entire cast seemed to be on Blake's side and also was doing the PR the same way as she was. It wasn't proof that he was in the wrong, but it was hard to believe (not impossible just hard) that she was so terrible if every other person involved in making the film decided to align with her and not him.
That whole story was weird from the beginning. I always felt like the cancelling was forced since none of the "crimes" were anything "serious". I also never trust a man who calls himself a feminist so I was kind of afraid that there were things going on and that he's trying to shut her up. So glad it backfired. And once again we have to ask ourselves: "Where do men get the audacity?"
Honestly you saying you never trust a man who calls themselves a feminist really stood out to me because I realized I do similar. I trust men who hold feminist ideas all the time, but when a man loudly declares himself to be a feminist I’m always skeptical
Speaking of reaction formation, I meant to mention this about doormat mom last video. Same theme… doormat mom tries adamantly to convince us she’s a good mom. Meanwhile, Baldoni tries to convince us he fervently believes in feminism… *Show don’t tell* (agreed)
Obviously as a man, most of us know that when a guy is speaking like that, about those things, it is a massive red flag. It’s also just insufferable to us 😂 But a lot of women eat it up, and him speaking like that made me physically cringe. I don’t get how the girls who eat it up and guys like that don’t see it.
The interviewer who posted the Blake and Anne interviews (who I fully supported initially) has proved to be incredibly messy (which I'm glad this video addresses). Even though her demeanor makes one think "oh no she's trying her best why are those celebrities so mean to her", like Ana says, there is an actual, well-documented pattern of posting clickbaity videos and milking those contriversial situations. I am very disappointed in Kjersti, actually. And in myself, too - that I jumped in to defend her when her intentions weren't exactly pure. But you live and learn.
Yeah, I wondered about that myself. I don't know what her (KF) deal is and I'm not particularly interested in her content so I have no read on her overall, which is why I didn't catch the pattern Ana pointed out. I think the interview still speaks to a pattern I have seen in other interviews with BL AND I still feel a bit duped. Both are true for me. The problems I have with BL are documented, so i guess I just allowed myself to be swept up because there were already things about her past decisions that were harmful, tone deaf and problematic, so I figured this was just an extension of that. I wasn't a supporter of JB, but I was fascinated because of the schism and consumed a lot of media about it. I don't know that I will ever know what is happening outside the public eye, but this was a good reminder to at least not let my already established dislike of someone cloud my judgement.
@@Susan13554 Brilliant? I think you might mean disingenuous? But yeah, she gives weird vibes to me too. I saw videos defending her and letting her paint herself as this pure person and I didn't buy them. She was talking about a pregnant woman's belly bump and it sounded a bit... body-shamey to me. At best, she's awfully unaware of how rude that phrasing could be to someone very hormonal, not a great quality for an interviewer. At worst, she's deliberately exploiting the situation. I don't think Blake is a saint, but I question any media figure who seems unaware of how talking about a woman's stomach instead of like the joy of bringing life into the world could be offensive.
@@WynneL I agree Blake is not a saint, but the journalist is pure vicious. She plays the victim card, and it is very obvious. Covert narcissist potentially. Always wronged by everyone and never at fault.
I watch and comment on a lot of your videos and THIS is the reason why! I really appreciate the fact that you actually say what you genuinely believe in and u dont just blindly accept whatever the popular belief is.
I am glad I saw the same as you. There are so, so celebrities who are abusive and criminal, and i was so confused as to why she was being cancelled for being "mean", like that's a crime and not extremely subjective.
Thank you for this video-it’s such an important conversation! I once watched videos by the reporter who “outed” Lively, including one criticizing another actress. The discussion shifted into labeling her a monster, which felt unsettling. The comments were even worse-full of cruel, appearance-based insults completely unrelated to the topic. I don’t know the reporter or these celebrities, but I realized that engaging in such toxic environments isn’t healthy, so I chose to step away. 💕
I just want to thank you, your videos have been helping me TREMENDOUSLY understanding the human brain better, why and how myself and others act, please never stop making them, they are extremely useful
13:02 “If a good guy were to receive a false allegation, all he would need to do is just openly present the facts that exonerate him.” There are at least two issues with this. For one thing, the number of people _interested_ in even hearing what the accused has to say is _vanishingly_ small. The facts don’t matter when people don’t want to see them. The election this year proved that. Secondly, the wrongfully accused often face the same hurdle that real victims do: the _absence_ of concrete, corroborating evidence. I agree that the wrongfully accused are ill-served and undermine themselves by going out on the offensive. At the same time, it’s highly naïve, and a bit reductionist, to say, “just openly present the facts […to people who aren’t at all interested in hearing them.]” I’m just saying It’s hard not to feel angry when someone _wants_ to present their side but they feel that no one will listen.
Indeed! Also... I can't help but still believe Justin Baldoni truly cares about women and is making a deep effort and has been for years to understand healthy masculinity and support women. Whether or not he did anything wrong this time, and indeed he might've done something very bad, I don't believe everything before was not trustworthy or just a lie/act... He was so genuine in a thorough and deep way for so long.
Exactly, any facts presented will be viewed through the filter of our existing prejudices and biases. If we are prone to projecting as Ana points out, garnering more evidence likely won’t change that.
I believe her and think Justin is gross. However I also think it’s gross that anyone agreed to promote the movie the way it was promoted, Blake included. That doesn’t mean I don’t think she deserves justice and support during her lawsuit, it just means two things can be true at once
I admit I defintly fell for this propaganda for a moment then when I heard he hired the same pr firm that smeared Amber Heard my guards were up and I remember thinking "hmm I'd need to wait and see about this it's suspicious" "could justin really be playing a character of the feminist ally when he's a creep?" turned out yes it was all performative also her videos about being mean...weren't that bad...first is that interview where she was pregnant you know how emotional women get during pregnancy yes she was dismissive but she seemed she was annoyed and on edge. But guess what? men in Hollywood do so much worse things and they would never get dragged like this by OTHER men so please let's stop this hate against women celebrities and expecting them to be perfect all the time while the standards for men aren't near this at all.
Y'all really need to find a better example than someone with a taped confession of abusing her male partner, who has police reports from an ex-girlfriend as well as requests from her sister's boss that she stand up in court and testify against the sister who abused her. There are plenty of ACTUALLY victimized women, who do not have such black marks on their history.
@@fictionaddiction4706 Depp also had to pay her for spreading lies about her though. no one's saying she's innocent but Depp's definitely a bad guy too, and there are many, many receipts in the court.
@@bobbie-jenehenderson7824 She was also a victim. If you're actually interested in what actually took place and not what Depp's PR firm this touched on told you, you can watch other explainers. Signified B Sides's "How did we let Johnny Depp get away with this?" and matt bernstein and his "Amber Heard & The Myth of the Perfect Victim" are places to start.
@@815-n8e her campaign promoting an alcohol drinks line at the premiere with the names of the characters for the cocktails is particularly distasteful for me personally
@@815-n8e she did an alcohol promotion on the day of the premiere, using characters' names for cocktails, including the abuser's. Tone-deaf and distasteful
I agree that JB seems performative when talking about feminist topics. And I hope justice is served if he’s found guilty of the allegations. Still, I never cared for BL because of the plantation wedding. But never campaigned against her (cuz I’m ‘nobody) and cuz she’s average white American actress when it turns to being (un)aware of condoning racist tones and undertones.
Apparently her husband picked the venue. It's telling that only she gets shamed for that but not him. I'm not American but it's very unethical to me that these venues exist for hire at all. Reparations to Black American communities in the form of these plantation properties surely would help with that division & gross inequality.
When I first heard about the Blake Lively situation I thought, "I can see why people dislike her-her mannerisms are similar to some bullies I've seen" but I never thought much deeper about the situation. I didn't realize how bad it was-how eager we can be to throw women under the bus we are (probably) jealous of. I think, for me, if Blake Lively were someone like Kim Kardashian, I would be more willing to jump on the hate train. I just get annoyed by the beauty standard the Kardashians set and think it's ridiculous. Blake Lively was someone I didn't have much of an opinion on to begin with. I hope that I can keep this trap in mind-to not hate on people I do not even know.
@@AnotherAustin-z7b The people in the text threads are Baldoni's PR agents. They don't inherently speak for him, but the texts are potentially relevant if Lively's lawsuit specifically addresses allegations of a smear campaign.
@@meifennellysieu7510 he had to get new pr agents because Blake and Ryan are with the same agency and got the agency to fire Baldoni the day after he refused to appologize to Ryan and Blake for something he didnt do... the pr agency was informed to fire Baldoni or they will leave.. so they chose the moneymakers Blake and Ryan
I'm neither a media nor psychology expert, but I remember finding the suddenness of the online hate against her very strange. Like, the tide against her came out of nowhere. I was aware of previous criticisms of her, but it wasn't as ubiquitous as in the wake of the It Ends With Us promotion. I didn't know what else to make of it other than it seemed so sudden.
Anne Hathaway wasn't being rude. What likely happened was that Anne agreed to a specific set of questions, as all interviews go, and Anne set her boundaries. The interview likely decided to ask questions that were off-limits (Anne probably asked not to be asked about her relationships or dating/love) in the hopes that Anne would cave in because of social pressure. Anne stood her ground. Before working as a legal editor, I worked in book publishing, and I saw this happen to authors a lot.
yes!! i felt like i was being gaslit by the world back in august. i saw it so clearly especially because the whole cast was behind her and not him. it just logically didn’t make sense but people love hating on others that they just kept it going and ignored the facts. thank you for this and your last video cus it def made me feel like i wasn’t alone 😭
It sucks the most when the abuser has a "great charming" personality. Cause some people translate that to being a "good" person or an "angel" and turn a blind eye to the wrong they committed.
I was annoyed when people started hating on her and I had to just ride the wave. She’s always been one of my favourites and I just refused to listen to it, because I knew she wasn’t any of the things people were saying. I don’t know if you remember our emails, but you certainly changed my mind on a few things because I respect you so much. You are straight up one of the most insightful, intelligent people on this platform. Men like this are so devious and I was yelling ‘yes’ through your last video. Queen.
According to TH-camr Glitch Poachers, people love to see others brought down and like to see others be redeemed or forgiven to a lesser extent. Which is why cancel culture is so prominent
People in general are social climbers. You don't tear down people who are below you. You tear down people who you see as being above you. If they seem uncomfortable looking at you in the eyes, there is a chance that they view themselves as being beneath you. That is not a compliment. That is a sign that this individual does not like you, and they will be there ready to tear you down. If you know somebody that talks badly about everybody, understand that they are talking badly about you too. You do not tell these people anything personal, because they will use it against you. These people are always looking for weaknesses in other people. At the heart of social climbing is envy, and it is a bottomless pit where you have to keep doing things in order to feel good about yourself.
Good video, but re: condemning anyone who hires any/this PR firm, Melissa Nathan also worked for the firm George Floyd's family hired after he was murdered. If we do too much unilateral guilt by association, it will continue to hurt victims, and that tends to hurt the most marginalized more than it hurts the most powerful.
The comment sections on this topic are always filled with people claiming they were always on the "right side." Folks, the only way to win was not to play.
Your eloquence, wisdom, integrity and researched perspectives - Thank you so, so much for helping me and others know what is going on behind the curtains. The value you brought to us by this video alone..! 👏👏👏👏
Yooooo the reaction formation stuff makes so much sense now. About three years ago I had this friend when I (20f) became friends with this guy (38m) bc he would give me free green and we had the same taste in shows, anime, youtube content. He would always talk to me about how he used to go to all these protests when he was my age and advocating for all the stuff that's good (women's rights, tr4ns rights, ab0rtion rights, poc rights, etc) and how i was safer with him than any other man in our cr4ckhead town. Months went by and I'd never stayed over in spite of his attempts, nothing bad had actually happened and we just chilled. But he was constantly trying to convince me to sleep over since I'd always be there in the evening. I'd always said no as I have sleeping issues (hence the needing green at night) and wouldn't be able to sleep in the same room he was in. I tried to explain that I have cptsd from those situations and I get random panic attacks throughout the night since I was a child anyway. But he'd say it was all in my head and I just wasn't used to being around someone who cared as much as he did and the discomfort that I felt was me only being comfortable with bad people. But I never believed him and about 5 months in, I called him out. I told him it was weird that he wanted me to stay over so badly and that even though he believed in mental health, he didn't believe mine. I also told him my therapist thought he was a walking red flag, because she did. But what always confused me the most was that I'd been in such bad states around him where I would have been a perfect person to take advantage of. But he never did. But he was constantly talking about injustices and how much women suffer and how lucky he is and that he could never dream of doing those things. But it always gave me slight chills. Clearly not enough for me to stop smoking with him until after we had a big argument but enough for me to not sleep there
I have a question: When you started talking about overcompensation, I thought about Prince Andrew and Ashton Kutscher. Both men were actively working against Human Trafficking while being at the very least close Friends with Human trafickers. How can we spot these People without being critical of people with genuine good Intentions? (Sorry for the typos)
I find BL a little insufferable but I absolutely believe her and admire the approach she is taking with the complaint. No one should ever be subject to that kind of conduct, especially within or surrounding their workplace. I hope he is well and truly held accountable.
you're spot on Anna! 6:00 I'm also wary of men who calls themselves feminists but I also don't like men who dismiss feminism or have no opinion about it I mean justin baldoni have also done actions for feminism ted talks and raising money and all so just actions is not enough to judge a man apparently I feel conflicted on how to judge men who come into my life I usually just don't interact with them but do want a relationship one day. So i'd love it if you can talk more about this!
Please Update this Video. Blake livelys law suit is more Like an actual smear campaign. Both are weird, but the facts arent with Blake... And everyone was so quick to believe her... Havent you learned to wait Til the facts are known or Just keep Out of it all together? Im upset with the Double standard.
She doesn't want to .. "even if a women lies about a man HE is a bad person if he defends himself" She doesnt care that her and ryan did more than hired a PR team to ruin Baldonies career.. Anna only cares that he is a bad guy because after everything Blake did to him he hired a pr team to defend himself 😄 how dare he
Right there with you since the beginning. This situation screamed abusive male narrative from the beginning. Lively isn’t perfect, but she has been in Hollywood most of her life, and the most we got was a few clips of her being testy years ago. And everyone but Baldoni was promoting the movie the same way. It wasn’t a serious book so his serous promotion was performative. He’s too perfect, the narrative too clean and too much the same across everyone’s platforms. It seemed like a planted story to discredit her. If all of the female cast is on one side and the lone dude on the other, I don’t believe that dude has women’s best interests at heart.
Yes, I’ve acted like a mean girl on occasion, but that interview was over the top junior high style as full grown ass adult. And, I also can’t imagine the pressure of being in the constant spotlight, interviews, etc. Just like no most of us don’t know how we would behave in an apocalypse or some natural disaster.
The smear campaign against Blake Lively felt so blatantly obvious and off. It never sat right with me. Thank you for putting words to why this felt so problematic.
They are both using PR campaigns to destroy each other though. This whole thing is disgraceful. If he did what she is claiming then that’s absolutely disgusting, but I like to wait for the facts. Blake has placed a complaint, that is not a lawsuit yet. I want it to become a lawsuit so we can see both sides. I also don’t take much from the selective texts yet, because like you said, snippets can be taken out of context. To be clear, i actually don’t care for either of these people, and I think the movie was a load of rubbish. This hill they are willing to die on is stupid imo.
I was wondering what was going on because it seemed to come out of nowhere about her. She never had anything said bad about her before but suddenly she's a monster. Very weird. Too weird
Wow, I have to say, I was wrong. I was swayed by the hate train and believed Blake is just a mean girl who personally chose to not handle the IPV content with the gravity it deserved. Thanks for making your channel a place I’m always learning more about not only others and my relationships with others but also learning how to call myself out and become a more accountable person
> Checks couple of other cases I had strong feelings about during the years. > Notice the same PR company I am not immune to propaganda. So my 2025 promise is to remember and internalise that.
I had these exact same thoughts during the drama. I even tried watching an "expose" video on her to better understand what people were angry about. In the end I couldn't even finish the thing because I felt like this was gonna be another one of those misogynistic hate campaigns. Not to say she has never done anything wrong, but it all felt so out of proportion and most of it seemed like digging up past shitty or weird things for content dunk points, even things she's apologized for or things with other people involved who never seemed to get the same heat. Just seemed...too fishy and inconsequential to me. Like are we **really** right now, going to focus on her in particular while we have people in Hollywood who've commited actual felonies running free while making movies? Just another a witch hunt instead of an actual call to be better and accountability for misgivings.
I have always had a very heavy suspicion of men who loudly declare themselves to be feminists. I have a pretty good track record of picking out creeps before the shit hits the fan. Jian Gomeshi (disgraced Canadian media figure) before his fall declared often how feminist he was and that he had a BA in women's studies. I immediately had zero trust in the guy. Years later, he's charged with IPV but wasn't convicted. (Side note: DO NOT COLLUDE WITH OTHER WITNESSES!!!!).
3:44 with my long and exhausting experience with someone close at the time that had covert narcissist traits and being in a cult. I know that it is very possible for someone to be so amazing upfront. They can be funny, nice, charismatic make you feel great whereas they can do vile things to you. And it's so painful and isolating trying to get help because truly in the surface they are a great person especially if they have their way with words. So to get someone to believe you can be hard. Especially if you yourself are not charismatic or have such a great personality like your abuser. It's like you have to be an angel or be perceived as an in order to get help, in order to be believed that you were abused. I'm now not swayed by someone's personality even if it's great. I know that doesn't necessarily translate into them doing great things or being a "good" person.
I actually gave in and watched your video on this topic last night! I love how thorough you present these facts and your arguments, I hope people could learn to consume media a lot more critically… especially in this political climate 🥹
I thought of your video on this topic when I got to know about the smear campaign! That's why I was always a little skeptical with the whole Blake Lively hate, even though I wanted to just go with it.
For sure. I like how as a collective more people in my generation are starting to de center Hollyweird from their lives, but the flip flop against BL seemed so out of nowhere until we realized JB was behind it.
I believe Blake is probably a mean girl, but i also find her accusations against Baldoni to be credible, considering that the entire cast turned againsg him
Even ignoring the short clips from interviews taken out of context, Blake once released a whole cosplay-reminiscent clothing line under her blog, both of which specifically, proudly, and weirdly romanticized antebellum as a “better time” to be revisited. This was AFTER being forced to release a cookie cutter apology with her husband for holding their wedding on the grounds of a former plantation. I don’t need a smear campaign to know she and her husband aren’t the “treasures” us plebs worship them to be.
@@larbot3433 that's the point so many miss. I thought she was kinda lacking in charisma and a bit saccharine maybe, so , not a massive fan, but I 100% support her right to have an expectation of decency and respect on set. I've been smeared too. I'm not perfect but I didn't deserve to be smeared. So I support her in this law suit.
Dr. Ana, I hope you see this. It isn't necessarily in ref to the situation being discussed but something you said sparked a question I've been battling with recently after waking up to my family's disfunction which has kind of kept me in the IPV loop in the past. I'm 2 yrs into excavating my past and how it's defined my patterns. I've worked through, from what I can tell, many of my "stuck emotions" and I'm trying to bring in the parts of self I've disowned a long the way. My question, I'm hoping might be worth a video in the future as I imagine it's something many are trying to navigate rn, is finding all the parts we left behind and reintegrating them. Becoming our full selves. I'm very familiar with and have been doing parts works, shadow work - every version of self inquiry I can find for nearing 2 decades at this point but I know there's still parts I can't quite seem to identify to bring on board. Recently I saw a video made by an educator where he made a pie chart showing how we shave away in childhood, then in school, careers, etc and what was left was such a small slither we think is who we are. This resonated so deeply with me and I really want to be the full pie again. If you took the time to read this, I really appreciate it and if you have any insights to share that would be amazing Love your work. Thanks for helping us all out
I honestly did deduce she was a mean girl but I didn't really partake in the discourse besides acknowledging it. To me she's just someone I side-eye, it's awful she was publicly slandered for dissociating with him. The cast even supported her and people called it cliquey.
Girllllll, your channel has been BANGIN lately! Idk if it’s the PhD lense I have affecting my perspective ;) BUT you’ve just been so open, spicy, and thought provoking.. it feels like you’ve had some energy that’s been waiting to come out! I’m really happy for you ❤
Once you agree gossiping is fine, the genie is out of the bottle and it can't be controlled. At least I don't believe it can. Creating scandal and being scandalized are both bad and they work together.
FINALLY! Someone with an intelligent take on this topic. When social media first started attacking Blake Lively. I thought it was weird. Something seemed very fishy about it. Like why would these super ancient interviews just suddenly pop up for no real reason. But I was like OK whatever. Plus she had never received any hate before this. Just something didn’t feel right. Now looking back it all makes sense. I am so annoyed by how ignorant and prejudice people are in their comments on this issue. I think deep down most of the people just really are jealous of a famous beautiful actress. it feels nice to hate on her and bring her down. Knowing all the evidence that she has, I hope that the truth comes out. but I know people just love to their ignorant opinions online.
One thing that is important to keep in mind is that, even if Blake Lively IS a mean person, that doesn't mean she's lying about what Baldoni did. I don't particularly like her based on what I've learned about her through the years, but like, that doesn't really have anything to do with the matter at hand. It feels like a lot of people still have the idea that victims need to be "good" and abusers need to be "bad," and if an abuser seems nice or a victim seems mean, then it must be a lie. You shouldn't have to be a perfectly nice and good person to be believed.
This!!
I dont like her either 🤷🏻♀️
FR!
I don't like her but I'm still gonna believe her
Back in high school I knew a girl who I could not stand and found "mean", but when it came out she was assaulted by her guy friend best believe I was 100% on her side and called out anyone discrediting or victim blaming her.
Yes, being a mean girl isn't illegal but what she claims in the lawsuit is.
Completely agree with this take! She can be more than one thing.
I agree with you. There are many reasons why I don't like her, still in this case with Baldoni she could be a victim. Only time will tell
i give anne hathaway the benefit of the doubt regarding that interview, because - les mis was one of the greatest accomplishments of her career, a huge live singing role, she shaved her head, her character dies in the first half and she racked up academy awards- this is a BIG deal and, maybe i’m just a huge les mis nerd and that’s why i can put myself in her shoes. i don’t see les mis as a love story like the interviewer was suggesting, and DEFINITELY not for Fantine, who’s whole arc is that she lost her virginity to her first crush who left her alone pregnant, she works to pay for her child to be taken care for at an orphanage, and dies of sexual infections after becoming a sex worker in hopes of earning for her daughter. to anne hathaway, this movie is about dealing with losing your life, losing your daughter, losing the innocence and goodness you believed in the world.. Fantine was lied to, cheated, used, abused and her last breaths were to make sure her daughter was taken care of. and the interviewer is like “do you remember your first crush” like maam this woman’s first crush kinda led to her death i mean i don’t think that’s what we wanna ask😅😂
Thank you! Even though this is a bit of a derail from the topic, this really needed to be said.
thank you for this context, it definitely changes the perspective. this is why i try not to form any opinions on 10-second clips with no background info
honestly she didn't even do anything wrong in the interview, she just wasn't very talkative which isn't a crime
Wow 😮 thank you I totally forgot this even though I've seen the film (can't remember if all this was mentioned throughout it though). I also wondered if Anne Hathaway was a bit touchy in that interview because she was maybe being criticised a bit behind the scenes? I mean Les Mis is a big deal and very demanding, I can imagine... with the emotional roller-coaster the characters go on, the extent you have to stretch your vocal chords, not to mention the pressure to get down to a very light body frame 'cos of the setting and the fact many of the characters are meant to be starving 😮. I can imagine a lot of criticism was regularly thrown at the actors (however well meant perhaps) because they were supposed to achieve a level of perfection on this project because well.... it's Les Mis. Anne was possibly a bit fed up and burnt out even if she was grateful for being involved with it. She also did apparently apologise to the interviewer later on which is really nice and the interviewer acknowledged this in one of her videos :)
You kindly"give" her a benefit of the doubt". So what is the doubt ? Really. She didn`t even say anything offensive. Like, tf ?
😮 This smear campaign reminds me of Justin and Britney spears. He was the cheater, he made her abort their child yet the world attacked Britney because Justin made everybody think he was a good guy and she was the mean one
I didn't know there was an abortion involved, or that he supposedly cheated on her.
Anyhow when people are young a lot of childishness passes back and forth. We're all older, wiser, and more mature now and wouldn't act nearly the same way in the same situation.
Or when Justin damaged the clothes of Janet Jackson and caused this embarrassing moment on MTV, then somehow was it her fault and Janet got canceled 🤷🤦
Yes, it's the same thing over and over again. Brithey - Amber - Blake. But lot of other 'mean, superficial' women. Once people think they are 'allowed' to hate on some woman they go for it.
People hate a mean girl more than an actual abusive man. Its mind boggling
This. It also reminds me of how Meg Markle landed in the number one spot of most disliked celebs over DIDDY!
She’s not just mean though she got married on a plantation. I believe her as a victim but she’s still a bad weird person who got married on a damn plantation
@@dahliadaydream But that's the entire point. There is no perfect victim. Blake Lively can be an asshole and still sexually harassed. Her being an asshole doesn't invalidate her claim or that abuse is wrong. That you feel the need to qualify her victimhood in any way is weird.
Marrying on a plantation doesn’t make a bad person, weird? yes, bad? No
@@dahliadaydreamdid they have slaves serving at the wedding? I wasn’t there so I honestly don’t know.
I can't say that I was super emotionally invested in this, but as an internet passerby, I was definitely fooled by the narrative that Blake Lively wasn't taking the movie seriously while Baldoni was, if only because the snippets I saw pointed to this. I'm disgusted by Baldoni but I'm also disgusted by Sony, who wanted to keep the PR around the movie light in the first place.
She was promoting alcohol and her hair care while promoting a dv movie nd making fun of questions asked by interviewer
Even when Blake was being raked over the coals, I just rolled my eyes. If people clipped things I say on a daily basis, I’d be cancelled to the next century. And I’m sure it’s the same for everyone!
i mean i don’t think either of us has ever done antebellum wedding but whatever. we don’t have to make her out to be a perfect victim and an angel to call out ways she HAS been victimized
@@heartcatchprecurebut people love Ryan Reynolds who also participated in that wedding. Its because of misogyny that she is getting the hate for this.
@@heartcatchprecuregrow up. It’s someone else’s wedding. It has nothing to do with you and depicts a fantasy version of a time in American history. Grow up!
@@heartcatchprecureas a black person I think it’s insensitive but I kind of?? Don’t care. Weird to hold one day/mistake against someone lol. It’s not like she’s proudly racist
@@yallcrazy302nah the location’s bad lol
I was definitely bamboozled. I projected my childhood trauma of being bullied by mean girls onto her. This is a wake-up call for me to try my best to be aware when I project old emotions onto reality.
Do we have to take one side? Both can be wrong and my question is why now? The movie came out a few months ago. None of them are innocent...
@@angiem1704 What makes you say that? How are "none of them innocent"?
@angiem1704 I never said I like Blake Lively or think she's completely innocent. The fact of the matter is, what she did isn't illegal, but what Baldoni did is.
@@annwe6 BL doesn't have to be ''innocent'' to deserve respect on set. You're falling into the trap here, that a woman has to be the PERFECT VICTIM to be allowed to call out bad behaviour.
@@SusanaXpeace2u Actually, I was just asking the other commenter to explain their point. It’s easy to throw around vague statements without backing them up with any real thought process.
You’re absolutely right-nobody, including Blake, needs to be a 'perfect victim' to be believed. I didn’t fall into a trap; I was setting one.
I think it’s always a good idea to just not jump on an internet hate train
While I’m here: the internet will fall back in love with Rachel Zegler
@@rina-nv5yr Ehh, I don’t think so, I think she’s done more than enough to prove her insufferableness. You only get so many chances, in her case it seems like the studios even dislike her.
@@Ryan-cb1eiRachel hasn’t done anything she can’t come back from 😂 you people are so ridiculous
@@Ryan-cb1ei At most she is just annoying. Her biggest crime is not liking the OG Snow White lmao. If you are so pressed about accurate adaptations then you should put that energy on to Disney or watch other adaptations of the story. You guys act like she commited a crime lol.
@@rina-nv5yr what has that one do ?
Two truths can exist at the same time: Blake lively can be a mean girl AND also be totally justified in her claims against Baldoni. It is likely that they both suck for different reasons.
Yeah, but they not equally suck. Its not like he can assault you, but you were so mean, so you both deserve each other.🤷🏼♀️🙄
i’m tired of this take tbh. it misses that:
1. being a mean girl and a sexual harasser are VASTLY different levels of bad
2. that what we saw in the media about blake was a smear campaign created my baldoni’s PR team
@@diya-hn2wy A "Both-Sides" take, is the last desperate attempt by people who are trying to keep from having to admit they're wrong.
It's not illegal to be a mean girl in some people's opinion. Obviously not in the opinion of the cast that still follow her and are sticking up for her.
It's ALWAYS illegal to harass someone AND its never good to try to destroy someone career.
Notice there is no male equivalent for the derogatory term 'mean girl'. So there is no label attached to him destroying a career, but she gets the catchy derogatory label for a bit of an attitude with someone she doesn't like which is a much lesser evil of the two
@@currentlynoname7499 The 'mean girl' thing has lost all meaning, much like "Karen".
Both are now attached to ANY woman, regardless of motivation or circumstances that is assertive or disagreeable.
It is EXHAUSTING.
Those emails from the PR team are absolutely sickening.
Trevor Bauer showed all of Lindsey Hill's texts but false allegations against a man are seen as a feminist right.
It's a pattern that happens all the time to women in Hollywood. One minute they're America's sweetheart and the next they're villainized for the smallest things. Britney Spears, Jennifer Lawrence, Chappelle Roan come to mind but there have been many.
chapelle roan was a special one because they tried to cancel her because she reminded people that they're not entitled to every minute of her life outside her home
Oprah
I see it constantly! People place the woman on a pedestal, and are quick to villainize them. Even Gypsie Rose
@@whisperpone And because she dared withheld an endorsement from someone advocating genocide while catering to moderate Republicans, even though she was still pledging to vote for her--and because she cared about Palestinian lives, she was painted as this horrible person. Unbelievable stuff. How dare this woman not shut up about the invasiveness of some creep grabbing at her while she's at a friend's birthday party, and how dare she not be the Democrats' slaves and instead have her own mind, and push for them to be better by leveraging her endorsement? How dare she do a purity test? That was all so crazy. I think she's awesome for having convictions.
There are most definitely some villains though so don’t act like all of them go through such a gauntlet
I was sexually harassed by a man in a position of power and Blake’s initial comments about Justin immediately told me she had experienced the same thing. Sometimes we want to be able to say what someone did to us but for some reason, can’t, so we say something that is minor but still not great. There’s always something more though, and I was so disheartened by how few people recognized this and immediately attacked her.
Come to think of it, this is probably why I was suspicious of the whole thing. I went through that, too. It was a church elder. I gave a very lame negative opinion about him, then just left the church altogether. It's so disempowering; you feel like no one will believe you or you don't have the right. Maybe some part of me recognized that feeling in her.
It’s very telling how when men get accused of things the public responds with skepticism and “the benefit of the doubt,” but when unsavory rumors about a woman come out she is immediately met with vitriol.
Could you think of any exceptions to this?
I think the context and details matters. As she mentions in the video sexual assault is a crime being mean isn’t so their is a difference in consequences sometimes. And I think the tabloid news media chooses winners and losers for their own Hollywood / journalism/ corporate media industry reasons sometimes and the public may or may not follow along.
And when men get accused their wives fall with them even when they had no decisions regarding it. Ex: Marie Antoinette, and currently Ex Syrian president's wife (Because they found a Louie vuiton bag at their abandoned mansion) they say she is just as guilty as he is!
This sounds like more of your own biases and projections, just as Ana discuss in the first few minutes of the video. What an odd and sweeping generalization, can’t even say off the top of my head that this is a remotely true trope, it’s probably more the opposite if anything.
@@Ryan-cb1ei What exactly do you think I’m “projecting” here? I’m not famous, I’ve never been dogpiled online, I’ve never accused anyone of misconduct. I have no relationship to Blake’s experiences. And I’m clearly not alone in this opinion.
I just think it’s a little backwards that Blake is getting so much hate for relatively minor faux pas while Justin nearly got away with saying incredibly vile sh*t and s*xual misconduct on set, and the public response seems quite disproportionate about these two things. With men it’s always “we don’t know the full story” or “we need the full context” but that same grace is rarely applied to women.
I was once the victim of a pretty nasty smear campaign in an online game I spent years playing. This was an incredibly traumatic experience for me. I am also on the spectrum so I had no idea what was happening or why it was happening.
I'm glad that this awful experience has finally proved itself useful to me.
The moment I saw these Blake Lively videos on my feed, I avoided them for a long time. Finally, when I watched one out of curiosity as to what could make a person so hated by the public eye, I found they were very unsubstantiated arguments. Was she maybe unlikeable for behaving a certain way? Sure. But it was nothing enough to garner full blown hatred.
I immediately noticed that this felt a lot like my own smear campaign experience. I could spot how wrong everybody was, and how easily manipulated people are.
Thank you for your video. I really appreciate the media literacy, which is a muscle that needs to be constantly worked on. The part you mentioned about how "we love to condemn women who bring out our insecurities," helped me realize why I was the victim of the smear campaign in the first place. I didn't do anything wrong, it was their insecurities that were triggered. Thanks for helping me understand what went wrong.
I had something similar happen to me on my own social media account by so-called friends over a post they didn't like. Sadly some people have brought the cancel culture mentality to their personal lives. It's definitely a sign of insecurity and immaturity.
Omg that sounds awful, it is the same as bullying but bullies can bring unlimited amount of people into it, so scary. So sorry you have had to witness something like that. People really should think . Someone could end their life because of this kind of a behavior.
Your video back then was the ONLY one I could find (and I looked) where someone was questioning the narrative. I thought I was losing my mind because I couldn’t find anything that seemed balanced. Thank you for your take!!!
Film Cooper had the same take
same, as I am BL fan, I wanted to check both sides of the story but I just couldn't find one which would try to present both sides properly.
Ophie Dokie did as well. She wasn't the only one
@@ranmount Yeah, and I'm not even a fan of hers! I mean, I don't know enough about her to have an opinion. Anyway, happy new year! :)
I looked (so hard!) too!!
very well said. My fiancé had the same prediction & said “i see right through that guy, he’s full of it”. I was manipulated & i hope it doesn’t happen again!
sounds like a keeper!!!
If you don't have those instincts yourself, having people in your life who do is the next best thing.
My bf thought both were to blame in Depp's trial and was right. He is also usually right about anyone we come across while I am usually blindsided by others by choosing to see the best in everyone
omg same with my fiancé! I sometimes get upset because it’s a very pessimistic pov but he’s right most of the time!
I had the same prediction about Depps trial and this Blake Lively situation. IMO if there is a sudden flood of hate towards someone you just shouldn’t trust it fully. While o don’t really like Amber Heard and I don’t like Blake Lively, both those situations felt like a smear campaign. And in real life , when i hear from people what a unique, interesting person someone is, usually they turn out to be a narcissist who really tried to spread that message around.
The interview with Anne Hathaway was 100% on the interviewer, her presumption that a complete stranger would be down to perform for her on demand made ME uncomfortable, can't imagine how Anne felt.
Exactly, as if she would do those interviews just to get these uncomfortable moments with almost every other female guests she has, so weird. I would never talk like that to a person, like she to these people. She treats them like a clowns, like : dance to me, sing to me etc.
The Anne Hathaway clip just struck me as her setting polite but firm boundaries (she's not going to sing impromptu during an interview, and she's not going to discuss the personal/emotional details of her first crush) and then just honestly answering a kind of weird interview question. At least, it struck me as weird question to ask of someone who's doing a press tour for Les Mis, anyway. Maybe it's just because I feel strongly about either overly romanticizing the human experience of the past, or dismissing it (like when people say that no one in the past got as attached to their children because infant mortality was so much higher).
Those questions also felt inappropriate for an interview about Les Miserables, tbh. Very fluffy questions for a movie about wealth inequality, death, and desperation in 1800s France lol, felt like she wasn't super well versed in the subject matter
Additionally i thought they were inappropriate because there was huge backlash already about anne not being able to sing and not being able to sing like everyone else @@KristinaHuegelOnStage
Couldn’t agree more. Nothing wrong with boundaries. In fact I think celebrities have to set lots of boundaries because of the amount of people they encounter as part of the job. Just because an interviewer wants her to do something or wants her to answer, does not mean she has too. That’s not rude.
This is a basic-ass take from me, but there are tons of clips where a male actor clowns on a shitty interviewer and everyone acts like that makes him the coolest person in the world. But women have to put up with it?
@@notarabbit1752exactly what I was gonna say. If a man acted exactly like Anne, he would be called stoic, chill, in control of his emotions, etc
Wise words, "We DON'T know them."
We can know ENOUGH to make certain assessments. I know Justin Baldon from the “Man Enough” Podcast. Which is supposed to combat EXACTLY the stuff he talks about on there.
When I watched the Anne Hathaway interview, I was surprised to see that people thought she was rude. By the way, A.H. issued an official apology to avoid being cancelled and suffer the same treatment Blake Lively had to endure. As a European point of view (French to be precise), I never thought AH was rude to the interviewer. She could be perceived as uncooperative to some extent. It is clear that the interviewer was expecting more and was excited to do this interview and discuss the movie. She is certainly passionate about her job. However, AH was not rude. And then it clicked for me. Politeness in the USA is being friendly, whereas politeness is about showing respect in Europe/France. It was clear that AH was not in the best mood for this interview and personnally I would be as uncomfortable with the interviewer's questions and requests. I would have said no to sing and would not have elaborated further, as AH did.
I also agree with you. The video were edited. I would be curious to watch the full clip without interruptions and cuts.
The interviewer became suspicious with her intentions when she released several videos back to back in a short period of time which had the same narrative : her being a victim of many celebrities. They lacked authenticity. Why did she seem to take pleasure or satisfaction to expose celebrities in that way? Why did she seem to villainize certain type of people, mainly women, and glorify others. Something is off with her.
You are bang on about American ettiquette, especially in those millennial and younger. You can be misconstrued so easily when you’re a woman who’s not bubbly or overtly friendly. You’re meant to hyper engaged and responsive, and down to discuss whatever. Privacy can be seen as snobbishness.
I do like the generally upbeat American spirit but oftentimes it can act as a fake veneer. Someone can be utterly cruel to you and as long as they say it in a nice enough voice, if you say anything back people will act as if you started the argument.
Also must add this very appropriate Sondheim excerpt: “You’re so nice. You’re not good, you’re not bad, you’re just nice. I’m not good, I’m not nice, I’m just right- I’m the Witch!”
@@Doxygurl That's not my experience of being an American. Maybe it's a regional thing. Bubbly, overly-friendly, and hyper-engaged are definitely not expected or idealized in all parts of the US.
@ That’s true, it does vary a lot based on region. But also I specified millennial or younger. It’s my experience in American millennial culture that you have to try to be positive and upbeat, or you’re viewed as negative or unfriendly, or they’re speaking woo woo law of attraction or psychobabble, you’re bad luck or toxic respectively.
Also I find it’s something that’s expected from young women; female celebrities are expected to have that young and sweet aura as long as they possibly can.
@@Doxygurl I'm a millennial woman and I still don't really think that's true.
girl, entire summer it felt like i was in twlight zone and your video made me so happy, because it was SO TRANSPARENT what was happening, i couldn't believe you were the only person catching that bs.
SAME!
Apparently the mean girl interviews were at a time in Hollywood when actresses were protesting against the questions they were asked in comparison to their male co stars. Like, women would be asked vapid questions about wardrobes and childhood crushes, but men would be asked about the depth and development of their characters.
It's like everyone has amnesia. That response was iconic at the time. The interviewer saying that should would indeed ask men made me roll my eyes at the time
Oh please, she was a mean girl in that interview. They were asking about the costumes in a period drama. Just cause she was abused or there was a media campaign against her it doesn't mean she is always in the right.
@@catcat9582this is exactly how I felt. Like, really? people loose their memory THAT fast?
@@anainesgonzalez8868 I think so. I think lots of people literally just follow trends, additionally.
She was literally congratulated for her pregnancy. Come on!
I'm glad I didn't get sucked into this one, I saw a little bit about what she did "wrong" and had a feeling that the internet was just doing its quarterly blow-up over some tiny faux pas that any non-famous person could do and get away with because we're all human. A predatory PR firm being behind it fully makes sense. Maybe we should all just stop flipping out every time we realize that humans are human. Thank you for being honest through this whole thing as always!
Same, I saw the drama and just decided to NOT follow it because it seemed just like... Not worth giving it some of my time and braincells.
Can't say I really saw through it like that, but I definitely saw a compilation for why she is supposedly the worst and thought to myself "wow I'd easily do that stuff wrong". Fame is just not the glorious life we make it out to be.
Exactly
Maybe I'm ignorant, but that interview clip didn't even seem that bad? Like, I took that to be two friends teasing each other.
Also, the Anne Hathaway one seemed fine as well. "I dont feel like singing right now, but I'm fine if you want to" and if you asked me my first crush, i wouldn't remember either
This whole thing made me decide to watch gossip girl for the first time. Great time
What I learned is that 4 minute "mean girls" interview was not a snippet of an hour long interview where only bad parts were shown. It was the full speed interview. BL can be both rude and a victim at the same time, not either or. And yes, this is much more nuanced and complicated than it seems on the surface.
12:55 That is an absolutely CRAZY RIDICULOUS take! If a woman weaponizes false allegations against u and tries to completely destroy ur life, U cant get angry and call them out for the trash that they are?!?!? Purposely false allegations should b a crime IMO.
Apparently "it's all projecting"
If you watched the video you'd realize that it's men falsely accusing women.
You men project so much. I guess it's fine when MEN do it.
I find it very interesting how people see things as either black or white. If person A is a bad person, then A's enemy B must be a good person or vice versa. Both can be true at the same time: Blake being mean and incosiderate and Baldoni being a bad person. As you said, i don't know any of them personally and interviews and televised segments are not enough to draw a conclusion.
😢 People are SO hateful of women just in general
Thank you so much for making videos like these. You made a video a long time ago where you touched on Amber Heard being unjustfully vilified and it helped me change my mind and understand that situation better. Thank you.
Blake ruined her own reputation
Ok, Melissa and Justin!
I knew the hate against Blake was overblown. And it turns out I was right
Same 💯
Same
You don't know her
Omg thank you for covering Kjersti. The way she tried to crucify Anne Hathaway and get views from it right after the Blake lively situation was crazyyy clout chasing work. I feel bad for Anne that she felt like she had to apologize to Kjersti (probably out of fear of getting the same wrath Blake did). And it was ALL because she didn’t want to sing her responses to interview questions. She’s not a dog who barks on command.
The thing is that i do see that Blake Lively was mean to Kjersti Flaa, but not Anne Hathaway. Anne Hathaway was just setting boundaries, but i found it straight and direct, but not rude. BL‘s behavior was rude.
I was honestly taken in by that dude. I saw that dude’s TeD talk years ago and thought he was genuinely one of the good ones who is making an effort and truly understands women. Goes to show how charming and how evolved the grifters are. A clear case study of mn who are master manipulators.
There. Are. No. Good. Ones.
If there were, the world would be good.
It’s literally that simple.
@@nataliaalfonso2662 That's... wildly pessimistic and doesn't even make logical sense. Every single person, or man, doesn't need to be a horrible person for the world to still not fit some definitions of "good". "one rotten apple spoils the bunch" makes a lot of sense. You only need one serial killer to terrorize an entire town etc. Not all the men are serial killers for this to happen.
Which is funny cuz that was the entire point of it ends with us, to show how charming abusers can be
He really said all the right things. Usually you can tell if a guy is performative in his feminism if he acts like he can do no wrong, gets defensive about criticism/his mistakes, or paints himself as a savior. JB did the opposite of all of that by holding men including himself accountable. These grifters are getting sneakier and sneakier.
@@alyssapinon9670 they’re not GETTING THAT WAY.
It’s why all literature about liars and manipulators and evil men from CENTURIES AGO always talk about how wonderful they are at charming people.
Even millennia ago in many cases.
I just don’t think people read enough.
I saw it too! Tbh I never liked Blake Lively but when I heard that guy hired some super known PR team, I was surprised people are not connecting dots between that and sudden blow up of hate online towards Blake. And people would say bad things about Blake and praising Justin while at the same time talking about him hiring PR team. Like dude what do you think PR’s job is? It’s to make people online like YOU think something
Personally, I found it super suspicious that the entire cast seemed to be on Blake's side and also was doing the PR the same way as she was. It wasn't proof that he was in the wrong, but it was hard to believe (not impossible just hard) that she was so terrible if every other person involved in making the film decided to align with her and not him.
That whole story was weird from the beginning. I always felt like the cancelling was forced since none of the "crimes" were anything "serious". I also never trust a man who calls himself a feminist so I was kind of afraid that there were things going on and that he's trying to shut her up. So glad it backfired. And once again we have to ask ourselves: "Where do men get the audacity?"
Honestly you saying you never trust a man who calls themselves a feminist really stood out to me because I realized I do similar. I trust men who hold feminist ideas all the time, but when a man loudly declares himself to be a feminist I’m always skeptical
Idc about the other stuff but a plantation wedding is most definitely serious .
obsessed with your energy in this video. sometimes we just need to be read to filth and rethink our internalized misogyny
Speaking of reaction formation, I meant to mention this about doormat mom last video.
Same theme… doormat mom tries adamantly to convince us she’s a good mom.
Meanwhile, Baldoni tries to convince us he fervently believes in feminism…
*Show don’t tell* (agreed)
Obviously as a man, most of us know that when a guy is speaking like that, about those things, it is a massive red flag. It’s also just insufferable to us 😂 But a lot of women eat it up, and him speaking like that made me physically cringe. I don’t get how the girls who eat it up and guys like that don’t see it.
The interviewer who posted the Blake and Anne interviews (who I fully supported initially) has proved to be incredibly messy (which I'm glad this video addresses). Even though her demeanor makes one think "oh no she's trying her best why are those celebrities so mean to her", like Ana says, there is an actual, well-documented pattern of posting clickbaity videos and milking those contriversial situations.
I am very disappointed in Kjersti, actually. And in myself, too - that I jumped in to defend her when her intentions weren't exactly pure.
But you live and learn.
Yeah, I wondered about that myself. I don't know what her (KF) deal is and I'm not particularly interested in her content so I have no read on her overall, which is why I didn't catch the pattern Ana pointed out. I think the interview still speaks to a pattern I have seen in other interviews with BL AND I still feel a bit duped. Both are true for me. The problems I have with BL are documented, so i guess I just allowed myself to be swept up because there were already things about her past decisions that were harmful, tone deaf and problematic, so I figured this was just an extension of that. I wasn't a supporter of JB, but I was fascinated because of the schism and consumed a lot of media about it. I don't know that I will ever know what is happening outside the public eye, but this was a good reminder to at least not let my already established dislike of someone cloud my judgement.
I saw through that interviewer from day one. She’s so disingenuous it’s oozing.
@@Susan13554 Brilliant? I think you might mean disingenuous? But yeah, she gives weird vibes to me too. I saw videos defending her and letting her paint herself as this pure person and I didn't buy them. She was talking about a pregnant woman's belly bump and it sounded a bit... body-shamey to me. At best, she's awfully unaware of how rude that phrasing could be to someone very hormonal, not a great quality for an interviewer. At worst, she's deliberately exploiting the situation. I don't think Blake is a saint, but I question any media figure who seems unaware of how talking about a woman's stomach instead of like the joy of bringing life into the world could be offensive.
@@WynneL sorry typo :)
@@WynneL I agree Blake is not a saint, but the journalist is pure vicious. She plays the victim card, and it is very obvious. Covert narcissist potentially. Always wronged by everyone and never at fault.
I watch and comment on a lot of your videos and THIS is the reason why! I really appreciate the fact that you actually say what you genuinely believe in and u dont just blindly accept whatever the popular belief is.
I really want to thank you for reminding us to think critically and be level headed.
I am glad I saw the same as you. There are so, so celebrities who are abusive and criminal, and i was so confused as to why she was being cancelled for being "mean", like that's a crime and not extremely subjective.
Thank you for this video-it’s such an important conversation! I once watched videos by the reporter who “outed” Lively, including one criticizing another actress. The discussion shifted into labeling her a monster, which felt unsettling. The comments were even worse-full of cruel, appearance-based insults completely unrelated to the topic. I don’t know the reporter or these celebrities, but I realized that engaging in such toxic environments isn’t healthy, so I chose to step away. 💕
I just want to thank you, your videos have been helping me TREMENDOUSLY understanding the human brain better, why and how myself and others act, please never stop making them, they are extremely useful
13:02 “If a good guy were to receive a false allegation, all he would need to do is just openly present the facts that exonerate him.” There are at least two issues with this. For one thing, the number of people _interested_ in even hearing what the accused has to say is _vanishingly_ small. The facts don’t matter when people don’t want to see them. The election this year proved that.
Secondly, the wrongfully accused often face the same hurdle that real victims do: the _absence_ of concrete, corroborating evidence.
I agree that the wrongfully accused are ill-served and undermine themselves by going out on the offensive. At the same time, it’s highly naïve, and a bit reductionist, to say, “just openly present the facts […to people who aren’t at all interested in hearing them.]”
I’m just saying It’s hard not to feel angry when someone _wants_ to present their side but they feel that no one will listen.
I agree 1000x
Well said!
Indeed! Also... I can't help but still believe Justin Baldoni truly cares about women and is making a deep effort and has been for years to understand healthy masculinity and support women. Whether or not he did anything wrong this time, and indeed he might've done something very bad, I don't believe everything before was not trustworthy or just a lie/act... He was so genuine in a thorough and deep way for so long.
Exactly, any facts presented will be viewed through the filter of our existing prejudices and biases. If we are prone to projecting as Ana points out, garnering more evidence likely won’t change that.
@VioletEmerald u never even talked to the man 💀 actions speak louder than words
I believe her and think Justin is gross. However I also think it’s gross that anyone agreed to promote the movie the way it was promoted, Blake included. That doesn’t mean I don’t think she deserves justice and support during her lawsuit, it just means two things can be true at once
In defense of Blake, an actress is more likely to get blacklisted and labeled 'difficult' to work with if she goes against the studios wishes
I admit I defintly fell for this propaganda for a moment then when I heard he hired the same pr firm that smeared Amber Heard my guards were up and I remember thinking "hmm I'd need to wait and see about this it's suspicious" "could justin really be playing a character of the feminist ally when he's a creep?" turned out yes it was all performative also her videos about being mean...weren't that bad...first is that interview where she was pregnant you know how emotional women get during pregnancy yes she was dismissive but she seemed she was annoyed and on edge. But guess what? men in Hollywood do so much worse things and they would never get dragged like this by OTHER men so please let's stop this hate against women celebrities and expecting them to be perfect all the time while the standards for men aren't near this at all.
Wait, but wasn't Amber heard guilty?
“Smeared Amber Heard,” yeah… lol. When your reaction goes too far the other direction and exposes you
Y'all really need to find a better example than someone with a taped confession of abusing her male partner, who has police reports from an ex-girlfriend as well as requests from her sister's boss that she stand up in court and testify against the sister who abused her. There are plenty of ACTUALLY victimized women, who do not have such black marks on their history.
@@fictionaddiction4706 Depp also had to pay her for spreading lies about her though. no one's saying she's innocent but Depp's definitely a bad guy too, and there are many, many receipts in the court.
@@bobbie-jenehenderson7824 She was also a victim. If you're actually interested in what actually took place and not what Depp's PR firm this touched on told you, you can watch other explainers. Signified B Sides's "How did we let Johnny Depp get away with this?" and matt bernstein and his "Amber Heard & The Myth of the Perfect Victim" are places to start.
She definitely did some bad things, but this does not justify a coordinated campaign against her. Two things can be true at once.
Exactly.
What did she do?
@@815-n8e her campaign promoting an alcohol drinks line at the premiere with the names of the characters for the cocktails is particularly distasteful for me personally
@@815-n8e she did an alcohol promotion on the day of the premiere, using characters' names for cocktails, including the abuser's. Tone-deaf and distasteful
@@815-n8e it's in the video
I agree that JB seems performative when talking about feminist topics. And I hope justice is served if he’s found guilty of the allegations.
Still, I never cared for BL because of the plantation wedding. But never campaigned against her (cuz I’m ‘nobody) and cuz she’s average white American actress when it turns to being (un)aware of condoning racist tones and undertones.
Apparently her husband picked the venue. It's telling that only she gets shamed for that but not him. I'm not American but it's very unethical to me that these venues exist for hire at all. Reparations to Black American communities in the form of these plantation properties surely would help with that division & gross inequality.
When I first heard about the Blake Lively situation I thought, "I can see why people dislike her-her mannerisms are similar to some bullies I've seen" but I never thought much deeper about the situation. I didn't realize how bad it was-how eager we can be to throw women under the bus we are (probably) jealous of. I think, for me, if Blake Lively were someone like Kim Kardashian, I would be more willing to jump on the hate train. I just get annoyed by the beauty standard the Kardashians set and think it's ridiculous. Blake Lively was someone I didn't have much of an opinion on to begin with. I hope that I can keep this trap in mind-to not hate on people I do not even know.
Wait so are we now just taking her word for it instead of his because she filed a lawsuit?
Why are you showing texts from random people who aren't him
@@AnotherAustin-z7b The people in the text threads are Baldoni's PR agents. They don't inherently speak for him, but the texts are potentially relevant if Lively's lawsuit specifically addresses allegations of a smear campaign.
@@meifennellysieu7510 he had to get new pr agents because Blake and Ryan are with the same agency and got the agency to fire Baldoni the day after he refused to appologize to Ryan and Blake for something he didnt do... the pr agency was informed to fire Baldoni or they will leave.. so they chose the moneymakers Blake and Ryan
Your first video about blake literally predicted this and aged more than well.... the i told u so
I'm neither a media nor psychology expert, but I remember finding the suddenness of the online hate against her very strange. Like, the tide against her came out of nowhere. I was aware of previous criticisms of her, but it wasn't as ubiquitous as in the wake of the It Ends With Us promotion. I didn't know what else to make of it other than it seemed so sudden.
“It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.” - probably Mark Twain
Anne Hathaway wasn't being rude. What likely happened was that Anne agreed to a specific set of questions, as all interviews go, and Anne set her boundaries. The interview likely decided to ask questions that were off-limits (Anne probably asked not to be asked about her relationships or dating/love) in the hopes that Anne would cave in because of social pressure. Anne stood her ground.
Before working as a legal editor, I worked in book publishing, and I saw this happen to authors a lot.
@15:55 "I know what its like to put my foot in my mouth and to be socially awkward and to have my social anxiety misinturpreted as coldness" 😭😭😭😭😭😭
yes!! i felt like i was being gaslit by the world back in august. i saw it so clearly especially because the whole cast was behind her and not him. it just logically didn’t make sense but people love hating on others that they just kept it going and ignored the facts. thank you for this and your last video cus it def made me feel like i wasn’t alone 😭
It sucks the most when the abuser has a "great charming" personality.
Cause some people translate that to being a "good" person or an "angel" and turn a blind eye to the wrong they committed.
@@DayaMcCarthy YES!! And most abusers actually DO have a charming personality. that’s why it’s so easy for them. it’s scary!
Really? The world? Trust me most of the world don't know or care about this
@@snoozyq9576 it’s called a hyperbole…
Thank gosh someone is making videos like this, it felt like such a bizarre dogpile that i wondered "who has an agenda against her?"
I was annoyed when people started hating on her and I had to just ride the wave. She’s always been one of my favourites and I just refused to listen to it, because I knew she wasn’t any of the things people were saying. I don’t know if you remember our emails, but you certainly changed my mind on a few things because I respect you so much. You are straight up one of the most insightful, intelligent people on this platform. Men like this are so devious and I was yelling ‘yes’ through your last video. Queen.
According to TH-camr Glitch Poachers, people love to see others brought down and like to see others be redeemed or forgiven to a lesser extent. Which is why cancel culture is so prominent
Crab Mentality
People in general are social climbers. You don't tear down people who are below you. You tear down people who you see as being above you. If they seem uncomfortable looking at you in the eyes, there is a chance that they view themselves as being beneath you. That is not a compliment. That is a sign that this individual does not like you, and they will be there ready to tear you down. If you know somebody that talks badly about everybody, understand that they are talking badly about you too. You do not tell these people anything personal, because they will use it against you. These people are always looking for weaknesses in other people.
At the heart of social climbing is envy, and it is a bottomless pit where you have to keep doing things in order to feel good about yourself.
Good video, but re: condemning anyone who hires any/this PR firm, Melissa Nathan also worked for the firm George Floyd's family hired after he was murdered. If we do too much unilateral guilt by association, it will continue to hurt victims, and that tends to hurt the most marginalized more than it hurts the most powerful.
🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Absolutely. Groups can be just as nuanced as situations or people, and I think that this is incredibly important to say.
The comment sections on this topic are always filled with people claiming they were always on the "right side." Folks, the only way to win was not to play.
Your eloquence, wisdom, integrity and researched perspectives - Thank you so, so much for helping me and others know what is going on behind the curtains. The value you brought to us by this video alone..! 👏👏👏👏
Yooooo the reaction formation stuff makes so much sense now. About three years ago I had this friend when I (20f) became friends with this guy (38m) bc he would give me free green and we had the same taste in shows, anime, youtube content. He would always talk to me about how he used to go to all these protests when he was my age and advocating for all the stuff that's good (women's rights, tr4ns rights, ab0rtion rights, poc rights, etc) and how i was safer with him than any other man in our cr4ckhead town. Months went by and I'd never stayed over in spite of his attempts, nothing bad had actually happened and we just chilled. But he was constantly trying to convince me to sleep over since I'd always be there in the evening. I'd always said no as I have sleeping issues (hence the needing green at night) and wouldn't be able to sleep in the same room he was in. I tried to explain that I have cptsd from those situations and I get random panic attacks throughout the night since I was a child anyway. But he'd say it was all in my head and I just wasn't used to being around someone who cared as much as he did and the discomfort that I felt was me only being comfortable with bad people. But I never believed him and about 5 months in, I called him out. I told him it was weird that he wanted me to stay over so badly and that even though he believed in mental health, he didn't believe mine. I also told him my therapist thought he was a walking red flag, because she did.
But what always confused me the most was that I'd been in such bad states around him where I would have been a perfect person to take advantage of. But he never did.
But he was constantly talking about injustices and how much women suffer and how lucky he is and that he could never dream of doing those things. But it always gave me slight chills. Clearly not enough for me to stop smoking with him until after we had a big argument but enough for me to not sleep there
I have a question: When you started talking about overcompensation, I thought about Prince Andrew and Ashton Kutscher. Both men were actively working against Human Trafficking while being at the very least close Friends with Human trafickers. How can we spot these People without being critical of people with genuine good Intentions? (Sorry for the typos)
I find BL a little insufferable but I absolutely believe her and admire the approach she is taking with the complaint. No one should ever be subject to that kind of conduct, especially within or surrounding their workplace. I hope he is well and truly held accountable.
you're spot on Anna! 6:00 I'm also wary of men who calls themselves feminists but I also don't like men who dismiss feminism or have no opinion about it I mean justin baldoni have also done actions for feminism ted talks and raising money and all so just actions is not enough to judge a man apparently I feel conflicted on how to judge men who come into my life I usually just don't interact with them but do want a relationship one day. So i'd love it if you can talk more about this!
Please Update this Video. Blake livelys law suit is more Like an actual smear campaign. Both are weird, but the facts arent with Blake... And everyone was so quick to believe her... Havent you learned to wait Til the facts are known or Just keep Out of it all together? Im upset with the Double standard.
Everyone believes her because the facts are on her side.
@@aaronsmith1474 are they though??
@@aaronsmith1474she will loose
She doesn't want to .. "even if a women lies about a man HE is a bad person if he defends himself"
She doesnt care that her and ryan did more than hired a PR team to ruin Baldonies career.. Anna only cares that he is a bad guy because after everything Blake did to him he hired a pr team to defend himself 😄 how dare he
your videos are so insightful and eye-opening - i really appreciate your content ana.
Right there with you since the beginning. This situation screamed abusive male narrative from the beginning. Lively isn’t perfect, but she has been in Hollywood most of her life, and the most we got was a few clips of her being testy years ago. And everyone but Baldoni was promoting the movie the same way. It wasn’t a serious book so his serous promotion was performative. He’s too perfect, the narrative too clean and too much the same across everyone’s platforms. It seemed like a planted story to discredit her. If all of the female cast is on one side and the lone dude on the other, I don’t believe that dude has women’s best interests at heart.
Yep no one is perfect victim. They always use the one thing you did wrong as validation for abuse
Same thing happened to Meghan Markle but people are so blind to it. 😢
Finally someone who has some sense to call out the bs, well done.
Yes, I’ve acted like a mean girl on occasion, but that interview was over the top junior high style as full grown ass adult. And, I also can’t imagine the pressure of being in the constant spotlight, interviews, etc. Just like no most of us don’t know how we would behave in an apocalypse or some natural disaster.
I LOVED Blake for that interview, how she flipped what made her cringe, to use fear so reporters will stop talking to her like a shiny object ❤
Theres a new update apparently he showed receipts
She doesnt care
Ok, Justin's PR bot. The mask is already off
@@AliceVFame ok Blake's bot, your mask is off.
Ana your channel is AMAZING. I’m so glad I found you.
my psychologist dad also saw this coming when no one else did... interesting
Did he foresee the doctored text messages too
You are seriously so smart. I am consistently impressed with your videos and learn so much. Thanks!
The smear campaign against Blake Lively felt so blatantly obvious and off. It never sat right with me. Thank you for putting words to why this felt so problematic.
They are both using PR campaigns to destroy each other though. This whole thing is disgraceful. If he did what she is claiming then that’s absolutely disgusting, but I like to wait for the facts. Blake has placed a complaint, that is not a lawsuit yet. I want it to become a lawsuit so we can see both sides. I also don’t take much from the selective texts yet, because like you said, snippets can be taken out of context.
To be clear, i actually don’t care for either of these people, and I think the movie was a load of rubbish. This hill they are willing to die on is stupid imo.
I was wondering what was going on because it seemed to come out of nowhere about her. She never had anything said bad about her before but suddenly she's a monster. Very weird. Too weird
Wow, I have to say, I was wrong. I was swayed by the hate train and believed Blake is just a mean girl who personally chose to not handle the IPV content with the gravity it deserved. Thanks for making your channel a place I’m always learning more about not only others and my relationships with others but also learning how to call myself out and become a more accountable person
> Checks couple of other cases I had strong feelings about during the years.
> Notice the same PR company
I am not immune to propaganda.
So my 2025 promise is to remember and internalise that.
I value this awareness you raise in your work about pr media character smear.
People with much prefer to take the side of a self professed feminist man over an actual woman
Which says a lot doesn't it
I had these exact same thoughts during the drama. I even tried watching an "expose" video on her to better understand what people were angry about. In the end I couldn't even finish the thing because I felt like this was gonna be another one of those misogynistic hate campaigns. Not to say she has never done anything wrong, but it all felt so out of proportion and most of it seemed like digging up past shitty or weird things for content dunk points, even things she's apologized for or things with other people involved who never seemed to get the same heat. Just seemed...too fishy and inconsequential to me. Like are we **really** right now, going to focus on her in particular while we have people in Hollywood who've commited actual felonies running free while making movies? Just another a witch hunt instead of an actual call to be better and accountability for misgivings.
Thank you for talking about this. I'm really worried about how ready women are to attack each other, while giving men a free pass.
Absolutely. It's very depressing, but then I remember why Patriarchy will always remain........because Men stay ON CODE.
I have always had a very heavy suspicion of men who loudly declare themselves to be feminists. I have a pretty good track record of picking out creeps before the shit hits the fan. Jian Gomeshi (disgraced Canadian media figure) before his fall declared often how feminist he was and that he had a BA in women's studies. I immediately had zero trust in the guy. Years later, he's charged with IPV but wasn't convicted. (Side note: DO NOT COLLUDE WITH OTHER WITNESSES!!!!).
3:44 with my long and exhausting experience with someone close at the time that had covert narcissist traits and being in a cult.
I know that it is very possible for someone to be so amazing upfront. They can be funny, nice, charismatic make you feel great whereas they can do vile things to you.
And it's so painful and isolating trying to get help because truly in the surface they are a great person especially if they have their way with words. So to get someone to believe you can be hard. Especially if you yourself are not charismatic or have such a great personality like your abuser. It's like you have to be an angel or be perceived as an in order to get help, in order to be believed that you were abused.
I'm now not swayed by someone's personality even if it's great. I know that doesn't necessarily translate into them doing great things or being a "good" person.
I actually gave in and watched your video on this topic last night! I love how thorough you present these facts and your arguments, I hope people could learn to consume media a lot more critically… especially in this political climate 🥹
I thought of your video on this topic when I got to know about the smear campaign! That's why I was always a little skeptical with the whole Blake Lively hate, even though I wanted to just go with it.
For sure. I like how as a collective more people in my generation are starting to de center Hollyweird from their lives, but the flip flop against BL seemed so out of nowhere until we realized JB was behind it.
I believe Blake is probably a mean girl, but i also find her accusations against Baldoni to be credible, considering that the entire cast turned againsg him
Even ignoring the short clips from interviews taken out of context, Blake once released a whole cosplay-reminiscent clothing line under her blog, both of which specifically, proudly, and weirdly romanticized antebellum as a “better time” to be revisited. This was AFTER being forced to release a cookie cutter apology with her husband for holding their wedding on the grounds of a former plantation.
I don’t need a smear campaign to know she and her husband aren’t the “treasures” us plebs worship them to be.
right, I never liked her anyway. didn't need a smear campaign for that
You don't need to be the perfect person to be a victim though right?
@@larbot3433 that's the point so many miss. I thought she was kinda lacking in charisma and a bit saccharine maybe, so , not a massive fan, but I 100% support her right to have an expectation of decency and respect on set. I've been smeared too. I'm not perfect but I didn't deserve to be smeared. So I support her in this law suit.
Dr. Ana, I hope you see this. It isn't necessarily in ref to the situation being discussed but something you said sparked a question I've been battling with recently after waking up to my family's disfunction which has kind of kept me in the IPV loop in the past. I'm 2 yrs into excavating my past and how it's defined my patterns. I've worked through, from what I can tell, many of my "stuck emotions" and I'm trying to bring in the parts of self I've disowned a long the way.
My question, I'm hoping might be worth a video in the future as I imagine it's something many are trying to navigate rn, is finding all the parts we left behind and reintegrating them. Becoming our full selves.
I'm very familiar with and have been doing parts works, shadow work - every version of self inquiry I can find for nearing 2 decades at this point but I know there's still parts I can't quite seem to identify to bring on board.
Recently I saw a video made by an educator where he made a pie chart showing how we shave away in childhood, then in school, careers, etc and what was left was such a small slither we think is who we are.
This resonated so deeply with me and I really want to be the full pie again.
If you took the time to read this, I really appreciate it and if you have any insights to share that would be amazing
Love your work. Thanks for helping us all out
ana, you’re amazing! thank you for this
as soon as i saw that he hired that pr firm i knew something was up
I honestly did deduce she was a mean girl but I didn't really partake in the discourse besides acknowledging it. To me she's just someone I side-eye, it's awful she was publicly slandered for dissociating with him. The cast even supported her and people called it cliquey.
Girllllll, your channel has been BANGIN lately! Idk if it’s the PhD lense I have affecting my perspective ;) BUT you’ve just been so open, spicy, and thought provoking.. it feels like you’ve had some energy that’s been waiting to come out! I’m really happy for you ❤
Once you agree gossiping is fine, the genie is out of the bottle and it can't be controlled.
At least I don't believe it can.
Creating scandal and being scandalized are both bad and they work together.
FINALLY! Someone with an intelligent take on this topic. When social media first started attacking Blake Lively. I thought it was weird. Something seemed very fishy about it. Like why would these super ancient interviews just suddenly pop up for no real reason. But I was like OK whatever. Plus she had never received any hate before this. Just something didn’t feel right. Now looking back it all makes sense. I am so annoyed by how ignorant and prejudice people are in their comments on this issue. I think deep down most of the people just really are jealous of a famous beautiful actress. it feels nice to hate on her and bring her down. Knowing all the evidence that she has, I hope that the truth comes out. but I know people just love to their ignorant opinions online.
I was bamboozled... So thank you for this perspective!