Shame, Healing and Transformation, with Tara Brach
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 มิ.ย. 2020
- Shame, Healing and Transformation, with Tara Brach [07/01/2020]
Being at war with ourselves blocks us from evolving our consciousness and living from our hearts. This talk distinguishes between toxic and healthy shame, as well as shame about our individual self and our group identity. We explore how, with self-compassion and courageous honesty, we can respond to negative, painful feelings about ourselves in a way that serves awakening and alignment with our deepest values.
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Don't know if someone is reading this, but if you are: You are amazing and beautiful! I believe in you! ❤️
Thank you for your loving message ❤️
I love you all!
Same to you!!! ❤
I love how Tara and Brené Brown both talk about the same things in different ways that are complementary (sometimes with different vocabulary as well, like guilt (Brené) and healthy shame (Tara), because Brené is not a buddhist) and how both help me see things I couldn't or wouldn't see before. Brené Brown helps me understand the concepts, because she's a researcher with a more technical and quantified approach, but still a great story teller, while Tara has a more versatile and connected approach and she really digs deep into our souls. Again, in complement to this, I also listen to Marisa Peer now, who works on the surface, the symptoms, but with a knowledge of the same facts. So, in other words, Brené teaches me social and behavioral patterns from a scientific point of view; Tara deepens the subjects with more meditation, diverse stories (and humor, which I love), and different angles; and Marisa Peer says "Ok now we know, how do we concretely reprogram ourselves more efficiently?". All three are changing my life daily. For someone like me who always thought I knew myself very well, it seems that I had burried a lot more than I knew. Actually, I really did know myself, but only the self that I was interacting with (the plaster on the statue, even though I had a profound feeling that the real me was suffocating inside). It's still a version of me because it interacted with other people, but it's not who I really am, deeply. I have limited my well being and creativity all my life for fear of feeling shame and being rejected, and now I know. I'm not always sure I wanted to know, because digging in those things has given me lots of anxiety and in some ways I felt happier before, but it was a limited self and I probably would have regretted lots of things later, so I keep on going, hoping to resolve the issues and I have faith that I will eventually see light on the other side.
Thank you for your comment. It leaves me feeling like I am not alone.
I relate to your story and appreciate your references to other sources of help. I'm grateful for your courage 💛golden. Blessings to you as you peel the plaster to treasured gold being.🙏💛Namaste🙏
This woman is saving my the little bit of inner peace I have left.
Hi Tara, it's been 2 years so I'm not sure you will see this. But as someone who is Black and has a lot of that unhealthy shame, this talk was so healing. This video was incredibly affirming. I came to hear about Shame as I've realized it's a huge root to my struggles. Not only was this talk very affirming to what I've been realizing within myself recently, but it gave me some wonderful perspective expanding on my realizations. Your discussion of Racism, I did not expect. And it was incredibly healing to be acknowledged and to see you be unafraid to add that to this talk. Or perhaps afraid but to do it anyway. It definitely hit a spot in my heart about my own Shame to hear you speak up. As you mentioned, we heal best in community. And to do antiracist work is how someone contributes to the collective healing of especially Black, Indigenous, and People of Color. And of course these communities always give healing back. ❤ I'm in awe of how you so eloquently discussed all of this in this talk and it's very inspiring to the work I hope to do merging my loves of Buddhism, healing and activism.
Because I loved this talk so much I would like to add a slight suggestion. I felt that I understood what you meant by the different brains withun this context, which of course is all true. But I think perhaps more clarification on how this is different from the concept of who we are as the Golden Statue? Just because I feel that leans towards bioessentialism which can be where a lot of peoples unhealthy Shame stems from. (Aka the idea that something is innately wrong with them and that's proven by their genetics or brain.) I just see and have experienced the slippery slope of: "it's my innate brain proven by my genetics and just how human brains have evolved, so that's why I react this way and thus, who I am= a bad person." Just a little input! Much love to you!
I love this woman. I am living with pathological shame for not realizing I was an asshole for most of my life until a few years ago. This talk is so helpful.
I suspect you weren't an a****** you might have acted like one but it was your woundedness the conditioned mind that was acting that way not your essential nature which is beautiful. Just keep on Shining out namaste
I used to think I was an asshole , turns out through a lot of digging I just was in a trance of self shame and blame and acting out towards others too. Usually it's from unmet inner needs. Don't tell urself ur an assume because then u make it ok. Dig and find out what your protecting. Evryones core is gold. It's the protective layers that can be abrasive. Keep searching yourself
@Aisha K. Thank you so much. :)
Jen that was so beautiful how you expressed that which you did... it's such amazing integrity and transformation for you to acknowledge that and realise your awakened heart... it's healing in my own self to read that. bless you...
Appreciate this comment and all the replies. 👍👍
I'm having deep sorrow over the death of my son because I am very aware of my failures concerning him. I have another son, too ... and grandchildren ...and great grandchildren. I don't see myself as being capable of nurturing any of them much at all. It's sad. It's very sad. I understand that the underlying situation is that I was, or am, an un-nurtured child. This video is a help in that regard; a way to self forgiveness. But man, oh man, this condition is very, very painful.
I am suffering with debilitating grief, loss and illness. Please pray for me💕 🙏🏻 love Tara 💖
I hope you’re feeling some relief. I understand. I’m going through something too. So grateful these talks by Tara are accessible. I truly believe they are life saving.
She is so gentle and loving, I love starting my day listening to her calming voice. ❤️
Every time I hear your voice, every time I sit down to listen to your dharma talks - I feel instantly relaxed. Thank you for reminding me of what I knew, thank you for teaching me what I didn't know. Thank you for your compassionate and loving work, Tara.
Tara, thank you so much for every talk and meditation I have practiced of yours. I'm immensely grateful for having found you.❤
I explore listening to many different people in the world of self-improvement and healing and I have not found anyone who helps loosen the knots I’m all tied up with the way you do Tara. Thank you.
I was taught that shame does not belong to me. Remorse is what shows up when I am acting without love and compassion, but shame is something forced on us usually by abuse.
I agree!!
That's what Marshall Rosenberg States in his book nonviolent communication.
@@avesatana20 What is the alternative to unconditional love? Something with a better outcome? "Indiscriminate" implies not seeing or hearing that other person. I propose listening with presence, which is a form of loving kindness.
luci Sun thank you for your clarity in describing how unhealthy Shame actually is.
I’m stunned and disappointed by Tara using the words “ healthy shame “ in this talk. Any type of Shame is toxic to the soul especially children of trauma, abuse and abandonment. I do agree about taking an inventory and correcting behaviors as done in 12 step programs but any form of Shame is unhealthy and toxic.
I’m very disappointed hearing this from Tara. I have been listening to her talks and am reading her book on radical acceptance and she clearly encourages us to be gentle and compassionate with our wounded selves and inner children.i regard her as one of the most compassionate and on point teachers for adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families. I’m let down and very upset that she used and approved the term “ healthy shame “. I’m shocked she would do this
I’m let down and upset that she
In regards to racism, I never considered myself a racist, I had married a filipino man without hesitation, however, one day, years later as a struggling single mom of three, I was driving down a street in a better neighborhood. I observed an african american man come out of his house in a robe, to pick up his newspaper from the lawn; and this thought popped into my head, "Why is it that you get to live in that house instead of me. I'm white." I was horrified but that was an awakening to me of my conditioned mind. It's so subtle and powerful.the messages one receives growing up. Thanks again Tara. You are a gift to so many. You certainly are to me. Namaste'
You realized "white privilege" is a lie.
Tara,
Thank you for a wonderful talk. In the meditation at the end I came to the realization that the reason I go to self hatred and self blame is because when my dad died at 4 I thought it was my fault and internalized that until now, 33, knowing that I need to work on all of those injuries. Thank you for your continued practices and talks. They are immensely helpful.
Thank you Tara, I don't know how much you are aware of being an inspiration to people. You have guided me many times with your talks and your books, particularly with the deficiency feeling and brokeness feeling associated to trauma. I work in psychology as well and I can't wait to bring your teachings to others through training. Kisses from Montreal!
Interesting how I "stumbled" across this particular video/talk today; and I say "stumbled" lightly because everything happens for a reason and I believe I was led here to heal in order to move forward in my self-awareness and my evolution. Realizing that yes, I hold shame and am often embarrassed about myself, justifying, apologizing, and explaining what I do or not do, and holding on somehow to that underlying feeling that I am not good enough , and feeling small and insignificant. Finding time in this moment to quiet the mind and listening to you and allowing to feel a little better about myself. Thank you.
i would like to add that I find your spiritual teachings so healing because you, yourself, are so compassionate about the human condition. That opens my own heart to compassion as well. What a powerful teacher you are, Tara Brach.
Tara, thank you sooo much 🙏🏼 I drive and listen to you, I wake up and listen to you words...
You actually that know how, the knowledge, the voice that saved me 🙏🏼 Toda
The toxic shame that prevents us from listening and changing is such a valuable lesson. Thank you, Tara.
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I have listened To your talks for years and this one grabbed a hold of my heart and touched it deeply and I am so appreciative for this talk especially for the rain meditation at the end thank you Tara thank you from the tenderness of my heart.
I'm dealing with anxiety which has compounded into depression over all of what's been happening. I'm not well, I'm trying every day and I listen to you often. I found you somehow just shortly after all this mayhem started. Just wanted to let you know that when I see you smile right away on here it gives me hope. I wish you were my friend... well right now you are. You are helping me through, and for that I thank you Tara Brach. I love your smile. Xo Namaste
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My prayers is with you🙏 Everything will be ok and every single thing is working out for your highest good.
You Are Not Alone many of us are just as troubled and feeling just as unsettled. Just because we're not touching you face-to-face with you doesn't mean we're not connected reach out in your mind that way because I'm right here too feeling those same things wanting to connect and so in that way we can connect you're not alone namaste
Sorry you are going through this. You are not alone. I love her gratitude video too. All her videos help me. Exercise helps me too. God Bless.
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Another wonderful talk. Thank you, Tara. Your inner and outer beauty and your wise and tender words are so healing. I will watch this again, as I watch many of your talks over and over again. They help settle and restore my soul. I am watching from California.
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Very timely... At a time ripe for planting new seeds of self and community, many of us are on a unique inward journey. Your words made it into the heart of my wounded inner child and alleviated the years of shame she was taught to possess. This is the closest thing to discovering real self compassion I've ever been so quickly been able to utilize. A genuine gift of ascension. Such a perfect time with all this energy in Cancer asking for a transformation towards greater self- knowing and awareness of our hearts. This is huge and hungrily accepted! Tremendous gratitude! Namaste! 💜
I love your smile and I love your meditations they have really been a huge blessing! Thank you Tara for your call and service!
Thank you beautiful Tara and special thanks for mentioning the animals. Going vegan awakened me in ways that cannot be put into words. The topic of shame is very close to my heart, as it is my mission in life to heal from toxic shame. Your teachings have been calming my frazzled nerves during this ominous time in the world. Thank you for showing up for us!
Thank you Tara.
I can’t stop listening. Thank you very much.🙏🏼💜
What a beautiful being you are. Thank you!
You deeply touched me, by your wise words and the way you are. And I am just a couple of minutes in, visit you for the first time. Thank you so much. 🙏🏼 Namasté
I've followed Thich Nhat Hahn, Pema Chodron, Venerable Thubten Chodron and others. They are wonderful, but, Tara, I identify with you so much. I'm grateful for your presence on TH-cam. Thank you 💕😊.
I bow deeply to your heart ❤️🙏🏼
One of your most moving talks.
Tara, you have been instrumental in my recovery journey. I can so relate to the analogies you used with the outer coverings and conditioning. With gratitude and love thank you. Suzette
working my way through a friend calling me out for something so simple that I went into SHOCK and deep grief. I see that I was more reacting from my own primal shame (as perhaps so was she) but I can only heal my own. THIS WAS A BEAUTIFUL lesson. thank you for sharing
Tara, I stumbled across your talks on TH-cam about a week ago. I have listened to your talks everyday since. Today I ordered the book you mentioned in this talk. I am very excited to read it. I have been transitioning in many areas lately and working with a therapist in way I haven’t done before. Thank you for the light you share.
Such a powerful teaching. Revisiting once again after a stormy day emotionally. Its not your fault, its not your fault. Beautiful and holding mindset. Thank you again Tara.
You are a magical, radiant light! 🙏✨🕯️
Thank you Tara, this gets to the root cause of illness! I am a grateful that I found this talk! Blessings ❤️
Thank you so muchTara... I’m truly grateful for all your talks!
Thank you for your compassionate message, and for shining your light in this world.
Always brilliant and beyond, Tara. Thank you xxx
Powerfully delivered. Thank you, deeply much! Love you!🙏🌻🤗💞🌞🦅
This is A MUST-SEE!! Deeply thanking you for sharing✨
How many times I have listened to this, and every time it helps me remember what I keep forgetting. Thank you
This really resonated with me today and, from reading the comments, I can see so many others feel the same way. It's really special having someone be so open and compassionate about their own experiences and about their journey of self love and acceptance. Thank you so much ❤❤❤
You are amazing. Thank you for sharing your truth. Pure Gold. Namaste
Like Shelly, I am so Grateful to have found you...you are Truly Awesome!! I cried through the meditation, but Wow what a great learning experience...Namaste
I have just discovered you, and I feel so lucky.
I think back to my not first spiritual “experience’ outside the Catholic Church, and it was a hard yoga practice of which I put my entire outside of work and my daughter’s school I was addicted. For 10 years unless it was a rest day , or a moon day (time off from the practice);I was at my friends at 3:30 am
Thank you so very much. Bless you for the beautiful soul you have shinning through so bright!
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Thank you for this, Tara.
Thank you very much Tara❤️
So grateful to have come across your channel at this time. Your voice and messages are soothing. Thank you 💗
Thank you so much Tara!
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Thank you Tara
Dear Ms Brach, Thank you for this talk and meditation. I am finding for myself that your informal talks from your home/office reveal a very human and tender side of yourself that is not always so apparent from your recorded physical gatherings. This more human (read vulnerable and emotionally more naked) self I see invites me into the journey of your message in a deeper way. I applaud your authenticity and vulnerability. I am so grateful for your wisdom, a wisdom you share from a sure footed mastery. Thank you so very much.
Thank you so much for all these wonderful videos. I have been watching regularly since Covid and feel so grateful for your support. I am opening my heart more with each talk. Your words of wisdom have a ripple effect through my family and community here in Australia. Namaste 🙏❤️
You got gold.💛
Thank you so much!!
Thank you Tara - absolutely love the talk and the jokes are SUPERB!
Sustaining. Grateful for your talks🙏
Beautiful teaching.
I am so thankful for you desire to help heal other's. Your ideas and word's spoke to my deepest self...
How amazing and complex it is to be human. to never realise our badness, guilt, self doubt, fear, anger, sadness is so connected to our own conditioning and how we judge ourselves. How joyous it would be to uncover our true loving selves. if we had this knowledge all our interactions with others and ourselves our world would be so different
Listening to and allowing the coverings/influences that shape how we think and act to be seen in different ways is truly inspirational
It gives hope for freedom and awakening
Thanks Tara
Beautiful comment 👍
I have a skin rash, eczema that has been unrelenting. This meditation brought me into the purpose, what the gold is there to offer and with suspenseful waiting for some minutes, that part as me stepping forward offering to lead me to this healing purpose.
Thank you. I could finally go into the pain. I felt so beautifully supported.
Grateful for this video
Thank you so much Tara ❤️🙏🏼 Xx
Thank you!!
Wow. You truly are amazing Tara. Thank you. 😌🕉️🙏💖
Simply beautiful 🙏💛⭐
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Needed. so needed. deep recovery in a single video. Every time
Thank you!
I really like your therapist jokes, make me happy and laugh
Thank you ❤🙏🌻
Thank You
Thanks!
This is especially great at this time. Your presence, encouragement and empowerment so very much appreciated!
I've discovered new stuff to work with in relation to most current events and with covid-19 crisis, as with many of us everywhere have. Thank you! 🔔💗
Amazing. Thank you.
Thank you.I needed this today x
Sanity! Bless you.
What a wonderful caring way to place shame into the light of awareness. Many patterns have begun to enter my conscious awareness and I really have noticed a big difference in seeing how it does play an important role in keeping in alignment with kindness and compassion intentions. This is talk is gold and what a beautiful human being you are Tara, love you so much.
Thank you Taea 🙏
Feeling on my knees grateful for this guidance in this moment in time. Realize I’m close to drowning in toxic shame and your gentle voice and wisdom are a lifeline.
I know the feeling, but dont forget the shame is not who you are. By practicing mindfulness and self love, you can always overcome the shame and trust more and more in the gold. That gold is who you really are.
@@jenzen3745 Thank you Jen & Zen for your kind response.
Wow. This was such an informative, compassionate message. I really needed to hear this as I am going through a huge healing process and trying to forgive myself with compassion. Thank you! I liked the memes too. I think the donut might say, "I know I look well rounded, but I feel so empty inside." Lol.
Thank You Tara...This was very helpful for me. I really needed to hear what you shared. Namaste' Om Shanti Om
I think the gold that stirs up so much conflict in our country is basically what we see in others that we don't have. You can see the beauty in other people and have a difficult time seeing it in yourself.
No matter how you try to justify the defenses of the selection of people you clearly see the beauty in others that you don't see in yourself.
For example, we can see the melanin in the skin of others that we take note of as being beautiful.
and we are so conscious of the things that we don't actually have that we seeing others that we secretly envy, and out of feeling inferior to others physically, we lose control and try to destroy their beauty Asian and African American people. We oughta be ashamed of ourselves for justifying that.
I don't drink or take any pills, but some days I am starting to believe I should just for my own sanity. But no I will choose to meditate.
oh thank you for helping me
Thanks
🙏🏽gratitude
I feel very content watching the dark being revealed, excited about the changes coming. ♦️
I love you 🙏🏻❤😊
Awesome
The part where you talk about "the narrative of ourselves " was profound!!! Thank you so much for sharing with us !
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when I am confronted with what I think is wrong my instinct is to counter-attack standing steadfast and strong but if I can step outside The and see what's going on I can see the reason why and sing a whole new song
the way that you describe healthy and toxic shame I could intellectually understand until you said that the conditioning and the patterns that I follow and even played up as I got older is no longer who I am. Tara I didn't even expect to live this long I made no plans. dying three times from an overdose of heroin wasn't an accident I didn't tell anybody your call I wanted out. what you just did and how you articulated this process has been more impactful than 30 years of rehabs or prisons and juvenile detention centers and all that goes with being the molested and then sick physically child and went back so far I can't just can't explain how necessary this is for me. I'm not telling you that I'm off of the medication that I should be off of because I am taking it still but I am titrating off of it. so that is part of my healthy shame I believe. I'm not afraid to admit that I have addictive patterns I'm hoping that others can be just as honest. you've made me see that the real me genuinely cares for humanity and for life loves it really loves it! no longer intellectualizing my bad behavior or mistakes patterns anger all of that leftover from the '90s tough love psychology that was really beaten into me as a teenager. I can't tell you how grateful I am. how I wish I could really thank you in person or somehow I'll let you know how much you're helping me and I'm sure thousands of other people. thank you so much
How powerful and touching you are to our souls.
Thank you dear Tara. Your healing us through these videos & words of wisdom. This is life giving.
Beautiful. Thank you.
I saw this statue in Thailand now i see the gold in myself
Thank you for reminding (me/us) of (my/ our) inner gold 💕 at this time of shifting sand and exponential change. Hang on! Hang up! Blessings from 🍁
Thank you for this profound and beautifully put insight Tara. I feel loosened up already.
it should produce healthy change, Yes I get it