@BoldBeginningsNow I have lived most of my adult life living on the streets. And I never needed a gun or other weapons because I became the weapon. And when men would start looking at me funny I gave them the look that told them they are making a big mistake and it was almost always taken as they were entering a dangerous territory. I'm not trying to be funny about this I'm serious . Don't let someone stare you down.
@BoldBeginningsNow something I have not mentioned to anyone is that I have had trucks parking in front of my house on a dead end road with MAGA stickers on the bumper.
*Parking garage scariest story: DON'T FALL FOR THIS!!* Came back to my car to find vehicles parked so close on both sides that I couldn't get in -- in a NEARLY EMPTY GARAGE, they have to park right up on me?!? -- one 'mom' van (sliding side door) and one work-type van (double doors in back). I was already on alert, but I IMMEDIATELY froze; I can't describe the feeling that came over me. Suddenly there's 3 very 'helpful' guys that are all apologies; one jumps in each car, non-stop smiles and oh-so-sorry and 'isn't this funny hahaha' -- with the third guy trying to distract me and right away trying to sort of 'herd' me. I refused to say even ONE word to any of them and started backing up right away. I also put on my most unhinged expression possible, and honestly that did rattle them. (😂) I struck out at #3 when he tried to grab me, and ended up elbowing him so hard that I (cops told me later) dislocated his jaw. (Later he attempted to sue me over that -- even though he'd already admitted they'd been trying to see if their 'plan would work'. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️) I ended up having to be physical with one of the others as well; guy in the work van bailed, but the cops got him later. I firmly believe that the ONLY THING that saved me right then was the fact that I was heavily into MMA, but I had been teaching a 'self-defense for women'-type class recently -- I did what I could to clear a path, and when I could get away, I feckin RAN. The cops got all 3 -- two there, and the other they found later. The cops kept trying to joke around with me -- I think they were impressed, they kept offering me a job -- but tbf, I wasn't in the mood. I did get injured, but honestly I gave better than I got. 👍🏻 *All 3 had prior arrests for SA and other violent crimes.* The police said that their plans were clearly branching off into trafficking -- and that gave me some real PTSD. Took a LONG while to feel normal again and be able to sleep well; knowing what COULD have happened REALLY spooked me. Nobody had their noses in mobile phones yet like we do now, but it matters: *PUT YOUR DAMN PHONE AWAY. PAY ATTENTION OUT THERE!*
Wow!!! This is scary and then you mentioned possible trafficking which made it even more terrifying. Glad you made it out. I’m sorry you went through this, but thank you for sharing your story! Take care! ❤️
Holy shit 😟.. this sounds like a scene from a movie.. even though you froze (normal human reaction) I’m glad it wore off enough for you to go into attack mode.. you saved your own life 👏🏽💕..
Holy bloody hell! Probably got no time because you got away. Infuriating. Terrifying. Having a cell phone out recording may be a good idea though. Wow.
Good you’re safe! You did all safety tips. Be aware of your surroundings, trust your gut, know how to defend yourself if need be. Let me just add for a similar experience while in TX, sometimes they will use women too lure or be on the look out too. So be aware of that as well as far as trafficking.
I’m 67, I’ve got one that I think has saved me from overly persistent strangers when I was young. Buy yourself a high quality fake engagement/wedding ring combo. Wear it when you are out at the gym and other places, especially on vacation. It’s not 100% effective,some men don’t care but I definitely noticed a difference in the level of persistence.
Yes, I used to do this when I was younger and I mentioned it in my other safety video. th-cam.com/video/DXHlDDDsyVo/w-d-xo.html It did actually work most times, I appreciate you bringing that up here, thank you so much!! 😊
“The Gift of Fear” one of the books mom asked me to read. Basic premise: If you get that bad feeling about somebody, someplace, or something- listen to it. Our natural intuition can save us.
For people who are “wired” not to lie, just be brutally honest and say, “I prefer not to have this conversation.” Then if they persist, you’re not obligated to be polite.
Women have to put up with soo much bs. Dudes be overstepping boundaries and being disrespectful....I can't count the number of times that I've had to step in at the gas station etc and pretend I'm a relative because of some dude being too pushy. I mean you can't see the expression on her face bruh? Smh ...I'm sorry y'all gotta deal with all that type of shit fr...
Thank you for stepping in when you do, it is so appreciated 💗. I have also seen men step in and play like a family member several times when things got uncomfortable. When doing what you do to protect others make sure you are also being safe out there! 💯
She most likely got assaulted like I did for not lying and saying I had a boyfriend... sometimes that's the only IN they need to plan the absolute ending of your life
You're right to include women in there, because there are human traffickers and kidnappers who will use a woman as bait to make their target comfortable enough to follow them into a trap, give up info on themselves, etc.
The "Safety Lie" is the most fun I ever had. I love the reaction of men's face when i tell them my dad just came home after 15 years in a Turkish prison.
A good safety tip I learned about walking your dog as a woman is to never tie up the poop bag until you get home from your walk as it can be a useful tool if you’re attacked.
When you're checking into a hotel, do NOT have the clerk announce your room number out loud. If they do, immediately demand a new room and that they don't announce your room again!
That’s a great tip! I have a video where one of the contributors mentioned this. Feel free to check it out: th-cam.com/video/DXHlDDDsyVo/w-d-xo.htmlsi=GmhjLQ30sUzKk4uE Thanks for this!
Great cheap advice! My brother is 6'8" and he gave me an older pair of his boots and I keep them on my front porch, lol. But I change the position daily when I get home, like they've just been taken off 🙂🙂
If you think that women are being overly cautious, just consider how many true crime stories begin with the disappearance or abduction of a woman. This is a common occurrence in our society and we need to teach our daughters to be extremely cautious and aware at all times.
I will ad one tip for all the ladies . Always have a male you know you can call anytime you feel nervous. I have a female cousin we agreed that whenever she is out of town for work. when she is about to collect her keys at the front desk and it is "all male", she can just call me and have me facetime chat . sometimes she pretends to have forgotten her credit card so she calls and pretends to ask and i'd tell her where i "put it". we do this at least 3 times each year. I'd rather she does that instead of me thinking "i should have said something". i do not want to go thru life with soul crushing regrets , so this is the least i can put up with.
I just have anyone call me. I change their name to something like "Detective So in So", something that makes them think I'm not only watched, but I'm important.
I will add to this that you should watch your bartenders make your drinks. They often are accomplices to men that bring dates there and sometimes they do it own their own. The rule of never sitting your drink down doesn't work anymore. Its in your drink before it even touches your hand sometimes.
Thank you for sharing this! And this is something a lot of don’t even think about, but I saw a crime show that mentioned this exact thing. Gotta have a watchful eye more often than not!
@lulul0l039 100 percent agree! I think women staying in hotels should be very careful eating and drinking at any hotel restaurant or room service if they are alone as well. After The bartender spiked my drink for my date I have become a bit paranoid. I forgot to mention that there were other people there that knew my date as well. So you never know who is working with who in these situations.
I took a man to my room when I was 19. BUT my aunt was the front desk manager, and I told her what my plans were. The man ended up being very disappointing in bed. He happened to be from Ukraine so we talked about that. Then he left with his friend to go to the casino. He tried talking me into going, but I had a flight to catch the next morning and I wasn’t 21. He put a hand around my neck laughing and squeezed it. In that moment I was prepared to claw his eyes out but he let go and left. I locked my door and put a chair in front of it. He came back around 3AM hammered and knocking on the door. Called and texted me many times. Then he eventually left. There was no way in hell I was letting him back in my room. My aunt later told me that some guy came to the front desk asking for my room number key. Obviously she didn’t give it to him.
Definitely DO NOT sit in your car in a parking lot. I had groceries brought out to my car at a WM. After the guy loaded my trunk, I was checking my phone, no more than two minutes. Suddenly, a shopping cart comes out of "nowhere," rolls into the back of my car. Then I had to get out of the car, and clear the basket so I could back up. This was a set up. I'm naturally cautious, so I knew to not leave my car running and to take my purse and key with me, even though I would be just a few feet away. Sure enough, a young woman starts walking toward me, faking like she needs help (why come to me?). I immediately threw a hand up, and said "Uh, uh, no." while I kept moving to get back in my car. I kept my head on swivel while movng the basket, and I actually saw another woman crouching behind a car a row over. I don't go to that store anymore. It's a hot spot. The last time I was there. Before my groceries could even be brought out, a guy in a big white suv, pulls up, and parks diagonally in the two spaces beside (so I couldn't see his face). Then another guy walks up and starts talking to him. I'd seen that guy walking by a couple of minutes earlier. I'd have to unlock my car for the groceries to be loaded, of course they knew this. I decided to move and pull up right in front of the store. The second I started backing out, the white SUV takes off, and the other sleezy looking guy walks away, but keeps glancing back at me. I no longer shop at WM, for other reasons as well, but that definitely did it for me.
Wow! I’m so sorry you went through these experiences, but thankfully you made it out safely. It sounds like you paid attention to your surroundings and followed your intuition every time. Thank you for sharing! Take care!
I Would get help, backup first, and if it's really crazy, like someone's being abducted or assaulted, unless I'm carrying, there's not much I can do to physically intervene. Then, I would get as many details as quickly as I can, record and call the police immediately.
Another travel tip: Do not share that you're going on a long vacation on social media! Letting your close friends and family know your itinerary is okay, but the public does not need to know when you will/will not be home. Oversharing can lead to your home being targeted by thieves.
I know it sounds ridiculous but I live in a metropolitan area and I’ve walked around by myself many times. I have literally SCREAMED at men who try to talk to me and it seems to work. I’m not even joking. I’ve been followed before, catcalled, all of it. And I’ll just flip the f out on them cussing them out and telling them to leave me alone.
Agreed. 🙌🏾 sometimes you have to perform and “out-crazy their crazy”. 🤷🏾♀️ I do that all of the time. but, at this point, it’s instinctual. I see em coming a mile away and either avoid em completely or pretend to be deaf. 😂 like, seriously, I do the hand signals & everything.😅 but, see, I do my performance from a position of power cuz they ain’t gonna ruin my day nor make me feel uncomfortable wit they slow predator asses. you should hear the whopper of lies I tell em. even if I have to catch a uber somewhere, I don’t enter my correct destination address, I put in an address across the street from where I’m going because believe it or not these computer systems are not safety-friendly either. a lot of times ppl will sell access to your data to an ex that you are trying to avoid, etc. yup, u just got stay smart. 🙌🏾
Yup! I have no shame...I have pulled my “crazy card “ several times. It works. Also, I have told people I had diseases when I felt cornered . It catches them off guard...breaks the spell, undermines the illusion of control. Whatever it takes. In the worst of times, never forget that TEETH are a weapon!✊🏾
I don't think it's ridiculous at all. My partner (small, femme-looking) would walk around in the middle of the night in an otherwise "sketchy" neighborhood (according to all the white people at the college we attended lol) and they said that they didn't have any issues. They said: "Walk with purpose, put on your best resting-B face, and just be alert."
Myself and my housemate met two guys in a bar and spent the evening talking to them. There was no flirtation or anything we just took them for nice guys. We were both 20 and sharing our first place together. They asked us who we lived with and we proudly declared we lived together and alone. After the pub closed they walked us to the bus stop, watched us get on and waved us goodbye. We sat upstairs so had no idea they had also gotten on the lower deck after us until we were putting the key in the door and they tried to charge their way in. We closed that door in their faces with a nano second to spare. Taught us a huge lesson about general security. Also, just because someone acts nice doesn’t mean they really are nice. Lots of predators out there.
@@MMMC-z8y OMG 😳 that is a scary story and I’m glad you both were able to get that door closed. You just never know, there are so many wolves in sheep’s clothing that seem like nice people. Thank you for sharing! Stay safe! ❤️
One evening, I was walking home, and some guy asked me if I was following him. I was walking in the same direction as him, and I had just crossed the pedestrian crossing🚦 just like he did. I replied, "Why would I be following you?" He then asked me where I was going, which got on my nerves. I replied bluntly, "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS." He looked shocked and taken aback, and he walked off.
Yep. I experienced this to the extreme in NYC. Any time I let my awareness drop, I noticed the male gaze increased so I had to lock back in and look like I knew exactly where I was going even though I didn't because I was visiting! 😂 Maybe that's why men don't like to admit they're lost, they see it as a weakness.
@@BoldBeginningsNow your most welcome. I learned most of my attitude adjustment of people from black women. Black women are much better at no falling for BS.
I once was blocked by two cars in my old neighborhood. Four men walked up to my car and asked to roll my windows down so they could talk to me. I refused and said I’m meeting my husband down the street (he was working at the time but they didn’t need to know that) and I’d ask him to help them. They asked if I could drive them to get to a phone (this wasn’t when cellphones weren’t readily available) because they had broken down. I found it hard to believe all four of them were without cellphones. I waited for the guy standing in front of my car to come to the side and I peeled out. My heart was racing so hard! I legit thought it could be the end for me if they had guns. I heard a guy say while I was driving away “she’s not coming back”. Hell no I wasn’t!
Thank you for your comment! I also have another safety video with a retired Secret Service agent sharing some helpful tips as well. Check it out! th-cam.com/video/DXHlDDDsyVo/w-d-xo.html Stay safe!
@@WynnWynn-gl3fk basically she said not the ground floor because its more accessible for someone trying to get to you, being higher that gotta work a little harder from the outside to come up
Car tip: CHANGE YOUR AUTO LOCK/UNLOCK SETTINGS Most newer cars come with a default setting to unlock ALL doors when you put your car in park. This allows perps to hop into your car before you even see them. Additionally, the default settings unlock ALL doors when you use your fob, allowing perps to hop in even if you reached the safety of your car in a chase or slide in as you do. It’s incredibly easy to change these settings using the menus on your dash and buttons on your steering wheel. Tutorials are available online or you can check your car’s manual (which is likely still in your glove box). Set your car to only unlock the drivers door when the fob is used, and turn off auto unlock when you park, leaving all doors locked until you’re ready to exit. Many oil change shop personnel will gladly help you with this, sometimes with a fee, if you’re intimidated by the process.
I did not know that could be changed. Thank you, because how many times have I been ticked that a car company thought that was a great idea when it really jeopardizes women's safety.
@@tayriobravo6204 I can understand not wanting to be friendly at times. It’s all about how you feel in the moment of interaction. You gotta look out for you! Stay safe and take care! Thanks for sharing! 🙌🏽💯
Yes, I straight up act like I am unable to hear/a person who is deaf. It honestly has worked so far. Sometimes cat callers will yell louder but if you give no reaction at all, even when they get angry that you ignore (because y’all all know they do)… it has helped. It also does not give them the benefit of knowing they got your attention, even if they did (in reality).
Went on a few dates with a guy recently, and after I started feeling safe, I revealed a few things that I had lied about for my safety. Idk how it affected us, and I tried to explain that it was for my safety, it is unfortunate that I have to live and do things like this, but I'd do it again just to ensure my safety.
Travel Safety Tips (4:42) : 1. Safest floors are 3-6. Don't be on the ground floor - it is easy for people to get into the room that way. But floors 3 - 6 are still low enough to be accessible for an emergency. 2. When you get in your room, lock the security lock right away and keep it locked. 3. Once you are in the room for the evening, use a portable rubber doorstop and jam it into the door while you sleep for added security. 4. If you go out in the evening, watch your drink and never leave it alone 5. Send your itinerary to people who are not traveling with you so they know where you are 6. Helpful apps: a. If traveling outside of the US: Smart Traveler App (made by the US Dept of State. Thanks for the correction!) - Give insight if there are any national security issues in the country you're in. It's free. b. Panic Button App - A button that you push that alerts people on your contact list that there has been an emergency. It provides them with your GPS location.
@@BoldBeginningsNow Thanks for bringing these important tips to light for so many! 🌟😃 I have corrected my comment with the proper app name too. Thank you!
Oh I'm buying those travel locks TA DAY! Last week I was forced to stay in a motel that used regular keys and didn't have a chain or deadbolt inside. I had to move furniture to barricade the door.
My daughters do not want to hear me tell them. I’m glad you’re warning others. If I can add something here, anytime you’re getting your vehicle serviced or getting aftermarket items installed, do not give them your real address or leave your address (paper insurance cards, etc) in the vehicle. I’ve had family get stereos stolen, break ins, etc. get the address of the post office and just use that. Also, everyone doesn’t need to see your id. Redirect if a rando at a service business ask for it
I was an otr trucker and once I was parked at the back of a truck stop and noticed the lot was full except the spot next to me. Finally I got out to go into the truck stop to use the bathroom and there was a car in the dark next to the woods, big storage bin sitting behind it. It was creepy as hell. I went in and mentioned it to the desk clerk and he insisted on walking me back (I'm a petite woman, 5'2), and told the guy he had to move to the car lot. Not only was it shady as hell, it was dangerous for the car.
That sounds scary and kind of reminds me of a scene from the movie “Traffik” starring Paula Patton and Omar Epps. Thanks for sharing. You stay safe out there and take care! 💗
A young man (Caleb N. Smith) and woman (Keeslyn N. Roberts) went missing from the same Flying J truck stop gas station about two days apart from each other (January 16th, 2020 and January 18th, 2020, respectively). There's a lot of creeps & weirdos out there, and you probably prevented an attack or disappearance from occurring due to your intuition, vigilance, and street smarts.
Oh hell no. I’ve heard many stories of abducted people being put into storage bins. Good on you for being observant. And the desk clerk for saying gtfo.
I currently work at a grocery store and the number of times creepy men have tried to pressure me into going home with them is insane. It's sad that some creeps can't keep it in their pants.
One of the things I always carry on me besides my gun is a loud whistle. Don’t use a cheap whistle because not all whistle are the same. Keep it to let someone know where you are if you can’t scream.
A whistle is such a good thing to carry, those extra loud ones. My friend has something on her keychain that you can press and it makes a loud bullhorn like noise. Thank you for sharing this tip! 🙌🏽💯
Def always keep your head on a swivel because safety is an illusion. After shopping I keep my keys ready and everything else in the other, don't fumble for keys. I don't care how you feel about guns, do yourself a favor and at least learn all you can about safely using one. No need to own (if you don't want) a gun, but target practice and familiarity with using multiple kinds. Knowledge is power and this type can be a difference between life and death. Be safe out in these streets
Thank you so much for your tips! Keeping your keys ready is a must and knowledge of so many different ways to protect yourself definitely is power. So appreciated! 💯🙌🏽
What's the point of you don't own one? Silly advice. Mace/bear spray is a perfectly good defense also, ladies. And you don't have to worry about life in prison if you murder someone and the courts don't agree with you that it was self defense.
That's good that your dad was able to give you some good tips and help you all stay on high alert. It's always good to have some safety tips engrained in you at a young age. Thank you for sharing and take care! ❤️😊
@ he’s seen people come in on drugs that someone put on a stamp and the person didn’t know were there. He’s seen car accidents where teenagers were driving. SA were a female was dragged into a parked car. Gun shots to the head where kids got ahold of unsecured firearms. Broken necks from trampolines and a dive into unknown depths head first. Drownings where people misjudged their abilities. Motorcycle accidents with no helmet. The list goes on and on.
Covid has allowed me to be comfortable with telling people, especially men, to get away from me and to stay out of my personal space. Thanks global pandemic.
When I was single I ALWAYS wore this diamond ring I'd bought for myself on sale at a J.C. Penney! It seriously helped. I watch everything and only use my phone when walking to/from my car to pretend I'm talking to someone. I never text when walking around. My head is up and my expression is flat. No smiles. To hell with looking nice or friendly. I used to get followed a lot in my 20s because I was nice and would smile at folks. Also, before I leave my home, a store or restaurant I dig my car keys out of my purse. ALWAYS. They can be used as a weapon and I'm not distracted at the side of my car. Oh, and yes, I lie, even to some women if they ask strange questions and give me a strange vibe. I lie about my name, where I'm heading, what I'm doing, etc. Lie and stay safe, y'all. Lie and stay alive.
I can't get behind this one, because I once had to pump gas for an 80 yr old woman, whose husband had just passed away. She had no idea how to even start. Don't let yourself get ignorant about how things are done and don't assume that you'll definitely remember (or have the updated info), 50 yrs from now. Don't be caught off guard, avoid the same traps.
2:00 The app she mentioned is really good! I accidentally hit the button while I was half asleep trying to turn my alarm off, I tried to cancel it but it had been too long so the cops came to check if I was okay. They made sure to ask for my ID to verify it was really me. They were extremely nice & I really appreciated it. Although I was embarrassed I was happy to know that it actually works! ❤
Also, be mindful of restrooms, and shopping centers and airports. A Portuguese lady had a problem during the check in at an airport a few staff were associates with trafickers and they tried to separate her from her boyfriend and they said her passport had a problem and she could not get onboard. She started to make a live by Instagram. Nothing happened to her🙏🤚. She went to the police after that.
A number of years ago I was walking to my car at night. It was very dark and there weren't a lot of lights in the very large parking lot. I normally parked at the end of the street so that I wouldn't have to wait as long to get on the road, as everyone normally got off at the same time so it was always a bit of a mess. This particular night there weren't a lot of people there. As I'm walking to my car I notice a white man walking a ways behind me. Even though he was quite a distance away something didn't feel right. There are huge spaces between each row of cars which was line with trees. My car was over in the next row, so I cut across and noticed he was still behind me. I quickened my pace and so did he. Once I reached near the front of my vehicle I hit the car alarm, turned to face him and stepped out of my heels - ready to fight. I think he realized I wasn't as easy of a mark as he thought. He cut back across the row and trees.
Whenever a taxi or Uber driver makes small talk I often just say I’m meeting people especially family. I think it saved me once when I studied abroad because the guy was giving me odd vibes (probably not but I have great intuition) and I for some reason decided to sit next to him in the front passenger seat 😅. I only did that because that seat’s window was not tinted and I can easily see where I am. In that time I also said I have class that time, it’s test day and I was running a bit late.
I’m glad you followed your intuition and made the best decision you could at the time. I have another video that highlights a young lady talking about ride share tips, feel free to check it out. th-cam.com/video/DXHlDDDsyVo/w-d-xo.html Thank you for sharing your experience! 🙌🏽💯
This was smart of you. I thought I was the only one who did this. I also pretend like I'm on the phone with my dad and sometimes I purposely call a family member
On the Uber app you should change your name so the Uber driver doesn't know it and also call the Ubers to one block from your house so they don't know exactly where you live.
Always. I check my doorways and corners. It might seem paranoid to walk around like that but it can save your life. I enjoy going for long walks. I literally pretend I’m in a horror movie or thriller, I make it a “game” for myself LOL
I heard a story from a woman traveling alone: she got to a Chalet condominium in the forest . It was a sort of hotel rustic complex. She was at the reception doing the check in when a man got there and the attendant, while taking the keys to give it to her, said lowdely " here is your key, you will be staying at the room number.... " She found that very weird and to prevent anything, she got out of the reception area as if going to the appointed room, but waited until the other guest get away to go back there and say very firmly: " I want another room !" . Nothing happened to her.🙏
Please don’t get an attitude with them! Be assertive but never rude. Say you’re pregnant, that you don’t speak the language, start fake doing sign language, pretend to answer a call. Distract them or make yourself less appealing
I got an attitude once (I was I8 and he was old af even by today's standards in my 40's). He was on a bike blocking me from passing on the sidewalk insisting he get my number. I gave him a fIrm no with ATTITUDE and I ended up having to run for my life so good advice!!!
When i was in college i always made sure my female friends and me were always together when leaving off campus. Everyone's parents loved me cuz I made sure none of my friends went to the bank or an atm by themselves. And when one of our friends was getting stalked, we coordinated our schedules so she would always have company until unfortunately the stalker went an caught a case assaulting another person outside our friend group. Build a community you trust yall
That was so kind of you to be that friend that’s reliable and caring to always be there. Also there is nothing like a great group of supportive friends. Sorry to hear about the person getting assaulted. Thank you for sharing! 💯
Just filed for an emergency restraining order on someone who was pretending to be a meek innocent guy-hell nah we found out bro is a full on psychopath. Never ever feel hesitant to protect yourself especially if you live alone
I tell my friend this all the time and she feels more confident. Make sure it still works and functions properly, the last thing you want is a dead flashlight/taser. If you have a taser or whatever for self defense, practice actually using it and take it out of the carrying case, your purse, etc. because an eye blink is all the time it takes for 'ish to get real.
Things happen so fast and panic sets in, so being prepared is key. Thank you for saying take it out of the case because a lot of times we get things and are content just because we have it, but we do need to practice using it.
We women are socialized to be "nice", obedient and "cooperative" AT ALL TIMES. Self-preservation suffers terribly under this default setting, so if you can't easily avoid answering questions, you can ask one. Think of a list of the most uncomfortable and obtrusive questions that you are constantly being asked by entitled, obnoxious strange men. Go through that list, and instead of the answer you gave, practice asking a question or cosplaying a character, like you're in a SNL sketch. Example: Him: Where do you go for fun, when you're not at work?" You : "Well, I don't go outside much, due to all my allergies, but I like to bowl with my daddy and mama sometimes. I go to the library and I spend most days working on my stamp collection." (He's being awfully audacious if he questions your spare time any further. But he'll be audacious.) Him: Oh, which one's your favourite library? You : Oh my goodness! Why do you ask? Do you have a recommendation? What's your favourite library? Don't you just love libraries and and all those shelves and shelves filled with wonderful books? Just refuse to give information about yourself to nosy strangers. That's the real Golden Rule they should be teaching the children.
Your suggested skit is so funny, but may very well work. I also recommend getting super religious. Maybe say " the Lord just put it on my heart to pray for you, and start praying as loud as you can.
This is funny work. Me I’d just be like “there’s no reason for you to know that. I’m not interested in you if that’s what you’re hoping. Bye” If they get all loud & aggro IDK. This is a Target but Clowns gotta put on a show where they can IG.
Great advice! When I started dating after my divorce at 40yrs old, I never have guys pick me up. They don't need to know where I live. If I don't know them really well, I don't even tell them my last name. It's too easy to Google and find my address. I know my old butt isn't gonna be kidnapped and trafficked, but we definitely have to be careful. One last thing my daughter says: big girls are harder to kidnap, so stay safe and eat cake 😁
You always need to pay attention to your intuition. I was walking my dog on a normal path that I walk every day which is a public park and I noticed out the corner of my eye somebody watching me. I was very discreet so he did not know that I saw him watching me, but I just had that feeling like something was wrong. I walked into my house and I always make it a habit to lock both the door and the deadbolt as soon as I walk in the house Then I went back to take a shower and when I came out of the shower, I saw the same man standing on the far side of my house peeping in the window. Thank God I locked my doors. I have thank a sergeant on our local police force who always urged me to pay attention to my surroundings. Thank you for the awareness.
When you said he was peeping through the window, I was like “Nooooooo”. I’m so glad you locked your doors as well, that is scary. Thank you for sharing and take care!
Here's tips when staying in hotels. If you have tech stuff, don't leave it out. Put it in the safe either in your room; at the front desk, or carry a portable safe for money, passports, etc. If you can, stay in the room when it is being cleaned. Read a book. Be on your phone. You don't have to be breathing down anyone's neck, but you are clearly present and alert. And... I found this out through an experience, if you leave after the person has cleaned your room, make sure the lock has not been manipulated so that the locking mechanism can't engage. Meaning the housekeeping person pressed something in the lock so that even though I pulled the door shut, and the bolt should have engaged, when I tested it to make sure, the door opened without my key. I called the front desk that my lock was broken. The guy came up and pressed something that allowed the door to lock properly. Apparently this was a known thing to hotel employees
Wow, these are all good things to know. Thank you for sharing these tips, I also make sure the door is closed and locked fully, not just hearing it close and walking away.
I was in the middle of downtown, mid-day, waiting for my bus and some guy I didn't know walked right up to me and started making small talk - but he was asking questions like, "what's your name? Who do you live with? What area of the city do you live in?" and let me make something clear: I HATE lying, and I have a hard time lying because I can't believe it, so I know someone else can't. In this case, I definitely lied but I included some truths to make it easier on myself. It wasn't anything regarding sensitive or personal information that would jeopardize my safety. Maybe this will help someone else who struggles with lying. For all I know, it was just a cultural difference and he was trying to be polite, and normally I'm happy to give people the benefit of the doubt, but there's just some information you cannot disclose to anybody you don't know, no matter how friendly or safe they seem.
You are exactly right, no need to disclose any information you don’t feel comfortable giving to a stranger, they don’t need to know in the first place. Talk about the weather and how long the bus is taking, small talk that doesn’t involve all of the personal business, what stranger needs to know who you live with during a first meeting. I’m glad you followed your intuition and used a little lie when you believed it was necessary. Thank you for sharing!
Another piece of advice is to learn how to make guttural/growling sounds, I already do it in my spare time because it’s fun (just gather a lot of spit/phlegm in the back of your mouth/throat, tighten/loosen your throat as needed, and go ham lmao). Not only is it fun to make new sounds, it’s also fun to do it in the middle of the night (also buy an Aztec death whistle it’s cool and functional, very loud)
For the whistle if you don't have the cash to spend, learn how to use an acorn top/bottle cap as a whistle! The smaller acorn tops absolutely sound like a scream and it's LOUD.
I taught my children to scream and be really loud. Your voice is a weapon. I also taught them to bark..seriously. let them think you crazy. Be safe and look out for each other.
I was being followed walking from a walking trail to the parking area. I quickly picked up my phone and pretended to speak to someone who was in the area. The imaginary convo went something like this"YOU SEE ME...OH, YEA I see your car. I'm walking up now Oh, they are just walking, not with me" By the time I made it to my car, they were gone.
I like the idea of “lying” just to stay friendly and keep it light, yet SAFE. I’ve had too many bad situations and close calls in my youth. 💩 happens, please stay safe ladies and femmes.
@ accosted on a public in Los Angeles, bus driver wouldn’t do a thing g including calling the cops. Military S.A. and much much more. I was kept chaste and naive due to my super Catholic upbringing.
Im a 34 year old woman living alone with my cats. Men I dont know will ask me "do you live alone" quickly upon meeting them and its very unsettling. When I say "why would you ask that?" they stammer. Ive been on my own for a very long time and have navigated potentially very dangerous situations many, many times, but for some reason this question always catches me off gaurd. Ive said YES to it! And then i think wow why would I say that? My house has security cameras that immediately upload all footage as its filmed, but that just helps find the perpetrator and doesnt necessarily stop them. I think it feels almost like a normal question because women amd teenage girls will ask me the same thing but for VERY different reasons. I live in an area that's back in time and it's less common for women to be completely independent, so thats why they ask. Theyre looking to stop depending on some dude and want to know how (ive just always been like this so i dont have great advice for breaking codependency. My family is mean and cold and this is just what I know, to do for myself or sleep outside/go hungry.) But the guys are being creepy and alarming.
As a woman I wanted to be a Lyft driver to help women travel with ease of mind. It worked they loved me and it was so fun in SF Bay Area prior to 3/19/2020
I'm not sure,but I was just on a bus 2days ago, grown man looked like 35 was watching a p-rno on his cell and I said out loud, No he's not watching that!!! And teenage girls and women were all around on the bus. Pervs are EVERYWHERE. PA, Upperdarby Pa 🙏🙏
In America though, being black, brown, poor or a woman will still get you charged for attempted murder if you use it. I mean, there will be a time, it’s either you or them in those situations, but doing so and getting off on a self defense charge is a privilege mostly reserved for cops & white men with more money & influence.
For many years I was a bartender who worked late, and I live in a small city. I made sure my neighbors knew me. I was cautious always, but not fearful. I also could open that front door to apartment building ina flash
I know that’s right, have your keys ready to open the door and close it real fast. And yeah we just have to be cautious and aware of our surroundings, not living in fear. Thank you for sharing! 😊
We have to be prepared for the world we got, not the world we wish we had. As my mother used to say, "...an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." The best way to deal with trauma is to do our best to avoid the trouble before it happens, whenever possible. When we are unable to avoid it, we try to learn as much as we can for the next time. Stay safe out there. Cheers!
Another safety tip here from my police officer friend - when you get in your car, lock the door and drive off immediately. Do not sit there in the parking lot and scroll through your phone espcially at night. Throw your purse and shopping bags in the car and leave!
I had a man come to my job once and he was creeping on me the moment he stepped through the door. I helped him as fast as I could and before I could give him his paperwork, he asked me if I lived around here. I live maybe 20 minutes away heading east, but my immediate instinc told me to lie. "Oh about 45 minutes west of here", and knowing he was local I knew he wouldn't press too much about where. He tried talking to me for a bit, but I politely told him I needed to help in the back room. I left and waited until I knew he drove away. I still feel uneasy knowing he knows where I work now.
When running, I keep pepper spray on me that’s looped to a wrist harness - it is in my hand at all times and clearly visible. I always made sure my kids checked their shoelaces before we got out of the car (they were always untied) because they knew we wouldn’t stop in the parking lot to tie them. You can buy door alarms at the dollar tree to set on your front doors and windows for apartments also. Never open your door to anyone late at night - even if it seems they have the wrong door. I had this happen at 4am once, I was alone and I looked outside to see my car was the only one in the parking lot except for the car knocking on my door who left his car running. A couple of days later he tried following me into my apartment while I was bringing in groceries, my then husband chased him round the block. Found out later this guy had been trying to peer into apartments to find women alone and was caught by the cops.
I had to lie and tell a guy I’m underage when he was being pushy and cat calling me, the one time I’m glad I look fairly young for my age because it worked
get a google voice account. if you ever have to give a man your phone number (sometimes you have to for deescalation) give him your google voice number. they can find your name and address online with your regular phone number so this prevents them from finding you (and you won’t have to see their messages)
My face do be in my phone, but people don’t know I’m listening and watching everything. Or headphones in but nothing playing. Ppl get shocked when I answer them or over hear them. Like yes I can hear you with these big things on cuz nothing is playing lol.
Earbuds with nothing playing were a constant when I lived in the city, bc it gives plausible "can't hear you" for randos. The times I forgot them were the times I'd get bothered by strangers.
Thank you so much! I do have another safety video. th-cam.com/video/DXHlDDDsyVo/w-d-xo.html. There's some additional tips from multiple people including a retired Secret Service Agent. I appreciate you watching! 💯🙌🏽
I’m pleased to see women sharing great safety tips with other women.🥳 Take them SERIOUSLY ladies. Her some additional advice: Walk fast and purposeful without being on the phone it makes it a bit more difficult to be a target. It’s more difficult to lock in on a fast moving target. Sometimes I jog/run when like I forgot something if I have eyes watching me. It’s wise to walk back your vehicle with key or key fog in your hand so you can get in quickly, lock all doors immediately and drive away from that location. Wearing those dainty high heel shoes and walking slowly is not a good idea when alone. Carrying large handbags can prove problematic. It’s simply best to not be seen out in public at all to lessen the risk of danger but unfortunately we have to do so for work, shopping, medical appointments, etc. Night attacks are more common but some brazen attackers can strike in broad daylight. So don’t underestimate the fact that daylight attacks won’t happen. They are less likely but are known to happen. SAFETY FIRST LADIES. Some of these men out getting desperate for female attention. PLEASE don’t put yourselves at risk by getting in their vehicles or to their homes or have them come to your home. It’s just too risky. Why chance it? Prevent is better than cure.❤
I asked my mom and sisters to stop being in the car for long but to immediately lock all doors once the car's gearshift was in park. Saw it in a short and Never forgot it. This world is full of beautiful things but still be cautious.
God I have so many “close call” stories. I’m lucky but luck runs out eventually. Ladies, please trust your gut and take precautions! Lie! Be rude! Be loud! Have a plan! Please be safe ❤🙏
I was chatting this guy on a dating app and he asked me what's the name of the company I work for. I told him that I couldn't tell him that because I don't know him well enough. It was such a weird question. It made me very leery of him. I only give vague general answers when chatting on these apps.
It's good that your mindful and don't give out those information. A guy once ask where I work too saying he was only asking to find a place for us to meet to make it convenient for me, but don't tell these people these things.
I’m definitely getting those door locks/alarms! I just came back from Belize this weekend and I stayed in a hotel with a regular key and the lock was on the door handle, one night someone opened our door! I’m pretty sure it was an accident but it freaked me tf out! Luckily I wasn’t alone but that really creeped me out and I would’ve been so scared if I had been by myself or asleep when it happened!
A neighbour of mine told me her daughters drink got spiked in a bar recently and her daughter ended up extremely sick in hospital for a week and when they investigated it and watched back the security cameras,- it was a bartender that spiked her drink. Horrible 😢
Excellent video! I am 69 and I have always by default even when I was younger lied to anyone that tried to press me for information whether it be casual or aggressively with conversation that was none of their business. However, I think that there will still be unfortunately young women that will not heed the advice in this video and will continue sadly to expose themselves to unwanted situations and possibly an outcome that they could’ve avoided. Hopefully that is not the case, and that they come across this video and apply it to their lifestyle . New Subscriber here!
@@BoldBeginningsNow we as men have to have it. Women are a threat too. Too many stories of dangerous women as well. 64 year old man was beaten in DC by two girls. They unalived him. Alot of sistas sh@@t men for breaking up with them.
Well she has you and you ALWAYS do that when she is with you. I know you want her to be aware when she is alone but because we have made (in general) the world so safe for women that they get out here and completely trust in it....outside alone walking at 2:00 Am with EVERYTHING hanging out!...and aint supposed to be no crazy people in society I guess....I don't know what the hell y'all are thinking! GOOD LUCK though!
More safety tips here: th-cam.com/video/DXHlDDDsyVo/w-d-xo.htmlsi=I_yj_dTTiYkd2NkL Take Care and Be Safe! ❤
@BoldBeginningsNow I have lived most of my adult life living on the streets. And I never needed a gun or other weapons because I became the weapon. And when men would start looking at me funny I gave them the look that told them they are making a big mistake and it was almost always taken as they were entering a dangerous territory. I'm not trying to be funny about this I'm serious . Don't let someone stare you down.
Thanks for sharing this! 💯
@@BoldBeginningsNow your most welcome. Having perspective as I do can help put things into context for others .
@BoldBeginningsNow something I have not mentioned to anyone is that I have had trucks parking in front of my house on a dead end road with MAGA stickers on the bumper.
@@BoldBeginningsNow Thank you!
*Parking garage scariest story: DON'T FALL FOR THIS!!* Came back to my car to find vehicles parked so close on both sides that I couldn't get in -- in a NEARLY EMPTY GARAGE, they have to park right up on me?!? -- one 'mom' van (sliding side door) and one work-type van (double doors in back). I was already on alert, but I IMMEDIATELY froze; I can't describe the feeling that came over me.
Suddenly there's 3 very 'helpful' guys that are all apologies; one jumps in each car, non-stop smiles and oh-so-sorry and 'isn't this funny hahaha' -- with the third guy trying to distract me and right away trying to sort of 'herd' me.
I refused to say even ONE word to any of them and started backing up right away. I also put on my most unhinged expression possible, and honestly that did rattle them. (😂) I struck out at #3 when he tried to grab me, and ended up elbowing him so hard that I (cops told me later) dislocated his jaw. (Later he attempted to sue me over that -- even though he'd already admitted they'd been trying to see if their 'plan would work'. 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️)
I ended up having to be physical with one of the others as well; guy in the work van bailed, but the cops got him later. I firmly believe that the ONLY THING that saved me right then was the fact that I was heavily into MMA, but I had been teaching a 'self-defense for women'-type class recently -- I did what I could to clear a path, and when I could get away, I feckin RAN.
The cops got all 3 -- two there, and the other they found later. The cops kept trying to joke around with me -- I think they were impressed, they kept offering me a job -- but tbf, I wasn't in the mood. I did get injured, but honestly I gave better than I got. 👍🏻 *All 3 had prior arrests for SA and other violent crimes.* The police said that their plans were clearly branching off into trafficking -- and that gave me some real PTSD.
Took a LONG while to feel normal again and be able to sleep well; knowing what COULD have happened REALLY spooked me. Nobody had their noses in mobile phones yet like we do now, but it matters: *PUT YOUR DAMN PHONE AWAY. PAY ATTENTION OUT THERE!*
Wow!!! This is scary and then you mentioned possible trafficking which made it even more terrifying. Glad you made it out. I’m sorry you went through this, but thank you for sharing your story! Take care! ❤️
Holy shit 😟.. this sounds like a scene from a movie.. even though you froze (normal human reaction) I’m glad it wore off enough for you to go into attack mode.. you saved your own life 👏🏽💕..
You probably saved some women from what they wanted to do!
Holy bloody hell! Probably got no time because you got away. Infuriating. Terrifying. Having a cell phone out recording may be a good idea though. Wow.
Good you’re safe! You did all safety tips. Be aware of your surroundings, trust your gut, know how to defend yourself if need be. Let me just add for a similar experience while in TX, sometimes they will use women too lure or be on the look out too. So be aware of that as well as far as trafficking.
I’m 67, I’ve got one that I think has saved me from overly persistent strangers when I was young. Buy yourself a high quality fake engagement/wedding ring combo. Wear it when you are out at the gym and other places, especially on vacation. It’s not 100% effective,some men don’t care but I definitely noticed a difference in the level of persistence.
Yes, I used to do this when I was younger and I mentioned it in my other safety video. th-cam.com/video/DXHlDDDsyVo/w-d-xo.html
It did actually work most times, I appreciate you bringing that up here, thank you so much!! 😊
And the men who don't care that you have a ring can be punched in the face with that big ol' fake diamond!
They don't really care anymore
It's crazy how a man will respect an imaginary man more than the woman right in front of him.
@@The_eh_list Well said
“The Gift of Fear” one of the books mom asked me to read. Basic premise: If you get that bad feeling about somebody, someplace, or something- listen to it. Our natural intuition can save us.
@@k0cab yessss! I’ve always heard “Go with your gut”, that intuitive feeling is so helpful. Thank you for sharing that book and your advice.
Amen. I just wrote about that before I read your comment. It came out in 1997. That’s when I read it. It changed my life
For people who are “wired” not to lie, just be brutally honest and say, “I prefer not to have this conversation.” Then if they persist, you’re not obligated to be polite.
Thanks for sharing! 🙌🏽
How about, "It's none of your F'in business!?" Works for me every time.
@@lisabolo4359Thanks for sharing.
It is important to learn to lie.
@@DiamondsRexpensive Thanks for sharing.
Never park near pick up trucks, minivans, fully tinted vehicles, cargo trucks or any type of work trucks.
Yes, this is very important! Thank you for adding to the list of helpful tips, it’s much appreciated! Take care!
That's pretty difficult
Long story short:Don't park anywhere. 😄
Park close to the door, not far from the door and next to this type of vehicle
@@Egh0127 So don't, lol
Women have to put up with soo much bs. Dudes be overstepping boundaries and being disrespectful....I can't count the number of times that I've had to step in at the gas station etc and pretend I'm a relative because of some dude being too pushy. I mean you can't see the expression on her face bruh? Smh ...I'm sorry y'all gotta deal with all that type of shit fr...
Thank you for stepping in when you do, it is so appreciated 💗. I have also seen men step in and play like a family member several times when things got uncomfortable. When doing what you do to protect others make sure you are also being safe out there! 💯
Thank you for stepping in and being a protector! ❤
Thank you 🙌🏾💚
It's much worse because they DO see our facial expressions, they literally just don't care.
@Angelstarwarrior777 smh
I learned the hard way that if a creep asks if you have a boyfriend, say yes
I’m sorry you had to find out the hard way. 😔
What happened
@leafyish....
None of your business.
She SAID she learned the hard way.
If she wanted to give you the details, she would have done so.
She most likely got assaulted like I did for not lying and saying I had a boyfriend... sometimes that's the only IN they need to plan the absolute ending of your life
@@EveIsata i'm so sorry so so sorry my god, how can they do that in broad daylight
Men (also women strangers, but younknow what I mean) asking you whether you live alone never have good intentions. Ever.
I agree...ladies...sometimes women and even children are scouts for human trafficking...
You’re right, women are sometimes accomplices. Thanks for sharing!
I know this isn't my space but as a man I've never asked that. A normal person wouldn't ask that
These days the easiest answer would be "IN THIS ECONOMY?! OF COURSE I'M NOT" things are so bad in a lot of places that it is very believable 😢
You're right to include women in there, because there are human traffickers and kidnappers who will use a woman as bait to make their target comfortable enough to follow them into a trap, give up info on themselves, etc.
The "Safety Lie" is the most fun I ever had. I love the reaction of men's face when i tell them my dad just came home after 15 years in a Turkish prison.
@@shanasapp6212 😂😂😂 it’s whatever you want to say, but that’s a good one! Thanks for sharing! 🙌🏽
They do really believe that lie ?
😂😂😂 love it.
A good safety tip I learned about walking your dog as a woman is to never tie up the poop bag until you get home from your walk as it can be a useful tool if you’re attacked.
That’s a way to improvise for sure. Thanks for sharing that!
Yessss the dog leash can be used too 😉
@@Weed_olff 🤣🤣🤣
Damn lmfao that’s genius 😂
I’ve literally always thought this!! If someone comes at me, they’re getting poop in the mouth!!
When you're checking into a hotel, do NOT have the clerk announce your room number out loud. If they do, immediately demand a new room and that they don't announce your room again!
Good one! Thank you! 😊
@@witchsistah great idea
I used to work in hospitality service. The standard protocol they taught me was to never say the room number out loud.
@@georgetapia1010yup. You're supposed to write it down.
I yelled at a guy for doing this
Buy a pair of worn builders boots, the biggest size. Keep them outside your front door - they'll think your 6ft 5 man is home.
That’s a great tip! I have a video where one of the contributors mentioned this. Feel free to check it out: th-cam.com/video/DXHlDDDsyVo/w-d-xo.htmlsi=GmhjLQ30sUzKk4uE
Thanks for this!
That’s a genius idea!
I like that one !!!❤❤❤
Great cheap advice! My brother is 6'8" and he gave me an older pair of his boots and I keep them on my front porch, lol.
But I change the position daily when I get home, like they've just been taken off 🙂🙂
Thank you for the great tip. I keep a big dog bowl on the porch. Everyone assumes .. 🐺😅
If you think that women are being overly cautious, just consider how many true crime stories begin with the disappearance or abduction of a woman.
This is a common occurrence in our society and we need to teach our daughters to be extremely cautious and aware at all times.
Exactly. Thank you for saying this!
And sons need to be taught to respect boundaries.
I will ad one tip for all the ladies . Always have a male you know you can call anytime you feel nervous. I have a female cousin we agreed that whenever she is out of town for work. when she is about to collect her keys at the front desk and it is "all male", she can just call me and have me facetime chat . sometimes she pretends to have forgotten her credit card so she calls and pretends to ask and i'd tell her where i "put it". we do this at least 3 times each year.
I'd rather she does that instead of me thinking "i should have said something". i do not want to go thru life with soul crushing regrets , so this is the least i can put up with.
Thank you for sharing your experience and being there to help your cousin! That's love! 🫶🏽💯 Take care and be safe!
Bless you
God bless you!! ❤
I just have anyone call me. I change their name to something like "Detective So in So", something that makes them think I'm not only watched, but I'm important.
We need more people like this
I will add to this that you should watch your bartenders make your drinks. They often are accomplices to men that bring dates there and sometimes they do it own their own. The rule of never sitting your drink down doesn't work anymore. Its in your drink before it even touches your hand sometimes.
Thank you for sharing this! And this is something a lot of don’t even think about, but I saw a crime show that mentioned this exact thing. Gotta have a watchful eye more often than not!
@BoldBeginningsNow you are welcome!
Yeah,
Sealed bottles are safest, even non-alcoholic drinks can be laced.
@lulul0l039 100 percent agree! I think women staying in hotels should be very careful eating and drinking at any hotel restaurant or room service if they are alone as well. After The bartender spiked my drink for my date I have become a bit paranoid. I forgot to mention that there were other people there that knew my date as well. So you never know who is working with who in these situations.
The best bet is a capped bottle of beer, BUT BE SURE TO ASK THE BARTENDER FOR THE CAN OPENER, AND OPEN IT YOURSELF.
And ladies don't take someone back to your room you just meat or don't go to their place either, stay with a group of friends.
Safety in Numbers is what I was taught as well. Thank you for sharing this, so appreciated!
This one they don’t listen to because they too boy crazy/meat-meat crazy.
I took a man to my room when I was 19. BUT my aunt was the front desk manager, and I told her what my plans were. The man ended up being very disappointing in bed. He happened to be from Ukraine so we talked about that. Then he left with his friend to go to the casino. He tried talking me into going, but I had a flight to catch the next morning and I wasn’t 21. He put a hand around my neck laughing and squeezed it. In that moment I was prepared to claw his eyes out but he let go and left. I locked my door and put a chair in front of it. He came back around 3AM hammered and knocking on the door. Called and texted me many times. Then he eventually left. There was no way in hell I was letting him back in my room. My aunt later told me that some guy came to the front desk asking for my room number key. Obviously she didn’t give it to him.
Definitely DO NOT sit in your car in a parking lot. I had groceries brought out to my car at a WM. After the guy loaded my trunk, I was checking my phone, no more than two minutes. Suddenly, a shopping cart comes out of "nowhere," rolls into the back of my car. Then I had to get out of the car, and clear the basket so I could back up. This was a set up. I'm naturally cautious, so I knew to not leave my car running and to take my purse and key with me, even though I would be just a few feet away. Sure enough, a young woman starts walking toward me, faking like she needs help (why come to me?). I immediately threw a hand up, and said "Uh, uh, no." while I kept moving to get back in my car. I kept my head on swivel while movng the basket, and I actually saw another woman crouching behind a car a row over. I don't go to that store anymore. It's a hot spot. The last time I was there. Before my groceries could even be brought out, a guy in a big white suv, pulls up, and parks diagonally in the two spaces beside (so I couldn't see his face). Then another guy walks up and starts talking to him. I'd seen that guy walking by a couple of minutes earlier. I'd have to unlock my car for the groceries to be loaded, of course they knew this. I decided to move and pull up right in front of the store. The second I started backing out, the white SUV takes off, and the other sleezy looking guy walks away, but keeps glancing back at me. I no longer shop at WM, for other reasons as well, but that definitely did it for me.
Wow! I’m so sorry you went through these experiences, but thankfully you made it out safely. It sounds like you paid attention to your surroundings and followed your intuition every time. Thank you for sharing! Take care!
What the h? Is this common for women? This is an extremely crazy situation. And sorry you can't go to Walmart anymore.
Man this is scary but if I hear a woman call for help I should help right unless something feels off?
Thank you for the forum.
I Would get help, backup first, and if it's really crazy, like someone's being abducted or assaulted, unless I'm carrying, there's not much I can do to physically intervene. Then, I would get as many details as quickly as I can, record and call the police immediately.
“OMG my diarrhea is back”! LOUD! Can help create an “ick” factor and enough confusion for you to get away from them.
Oh that most definitely will create some "ick" and confusion. I know I would have never thought of this one, thank you for sharing!
Another travel tip: Do not share that you're going on a long vacation on social media! Letting your close friends and family know your itinerary is okay, but the public does not need to know when you will/will not be home. Oversharing can lead to your home being targeted by thieves.
That is such a good tip! Thank you! 🙌🏽
One of the reason I have never had social media
Why would you even have people in your list you don't know? I think that may be bigger issue for someone
I know it sounds ridiculous but I live in a metropolitan area and I’ve walked around by myself many times. I have literally SCREAMED at men who try to talk to me and it seems to work. I’m not even joking. I’ve been followed before, catcalled, all of it. And I’ll just flip the f out on them cussing them out and telling them to leave me alone.
You found a way to protect yourself by facing people head on. Stay safe! Thanks for sharing your experience and tips!
Agreed. 🙌🏾
sometimes you have to perform and “out-crazy their crazy”. 🤷🏾♀️
I do that all of the time.
but, at this point, it’s instinctual. I see em coming a mile away and either avoid em completely or pretend to be deaf. 😂
like, seriously, I do the hand signals & everything.😅
but, see, I do my performance from a position of power cuz they ain’t gonna ruin my day nor make me feel uncomfortable wit they slow predator asses.
you should hear the whopper of lies I tell em. even if I have to catch a uber somewhere, I don’t enter my correct destination address, I put in an address across the street from where I’m going because believe it or not these computer systems are not safety-friendly either. a lot of times ppl will sell access to your data to an ex that you are trying to avoid, etc.
yup, u just got stay smart. 🙌🏾
Yup! I have no shame...I have pulled my “crazy card “ several times. It works. Also, I have told people I had diseases when I felt cornered . It catches them off guard...breaks the spell, undermines the illusion of control. Whatever it takes. In the worst of times, never forget that TEETH are a weapon!✊🏾
"Crazy" can be life saving.
I don't think it's ridiculous at all. My partner (small, femme-looking) would walk around in the middle of the night in an otherwise "sketchy" neighborhood (according to all the white people at the college we attended lol) and they said that they didn't have any issues. They said: "Walk with purpose, put on your best resting-B face, and just be alert."
Myself and my housemate met two guys in a bar and spent the evening talking to them. There was no flirtation or anything we just took them for nice guys. We were both 20 and sharing our first place together. They asked us who we lived with and we proudly declared we lived together and alone. After the pub closed they walked us to the bus stop, watched us get on and waved us goodbye. We sat upstairs so had no idea they had also gotten on the lower deck after us until we were putting the key in the door and they tried to charge their way in. We closed that door in their faces with a nano second to spare. Taught us a huge lesson about general security. Also, just because someone acts nice doesn’t mean they really are nice. Lots of predators out there.
@@MMMC-z8y OMG 😳 that is a scary story and I’m glad you both were able to get that door closed. You just never know, there are so many wolves in sheep’s clothing that seem like nice people. Thank you for sharing! Stay safe! ❤️
One evening, I was walking home, and some guy asked me if I was following him. I was walking in the same direction as him, and I had just crossed the pedestrian crossing🚦 just like he did. I replied, "Why would I be following you?" He then asked me where I was going, which got on my nerves. I replied bluntly, "NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS." He looked shocked and taken aback, and he walked off.
He was not expecting that response. Thanks for sharing! 💯
A good side eye can sometimes let people know your aware and dont trust them .
I chuckled because that is so me sometimes, the side eye can be helpful for sure. Thank you for this comment! 😊
Yep. I experienced this to the extreme in NYC. Any time I let my awareness drop, I noticed the male gaze increased so I had to lock back in and look like I knew exactly where I was going even though I didn't because I was visiting! 😂
Maybe that's why men don't like to admit they're lost, they see it as a weakness.
@ZenTheory no man should be offended if a woman gives him the side eye AKA go to hell look.
@@BoldBeginningsNow your most welcome. I learned most of my attitude adjustment of people from black women. Black women are much better at no falling for BS.
@@ZenTheory that is a good observation. You have to stay on point and assertiveness when faced with someone who wants to stare you down.
I once was blocked by two cars in my old neighborhood. Four men walked up to my car and asked to roll my windows down so they could talk to me. I refused and said I’m meeting my husband down the street (he was working at the time but they didn’t need to know that) and I’d ask him to help them. They asked if I could drive them to get to a phone (this wasn’t when cellphones weren’t readily available) because they had broken down. I found it hard to believe all four of them were without cellphones. I waited for the guy standing in front of my car to come to the side and I peeled out. My heart was racing so hard! I legit thought it could be the end for me if they had guns. I heard a guy say while I was driving away “she’s not coming back”. Hell no I wasn’t!
Thank you for sharing! They couldn’t walk to the nearest store? Glad you followed your gut feeling. Take care!
@@BoldBeginningsNowright? The whole thing felt off. You as well ❤
When they ask the question is when I would press down on the horn
In hotels stay on floor 3-6. 5:00 Former CIA agent.
Thank you for your comment! I also have another safety video with a retired Secret Service agent sharing some helpful tips as well. Check it out! th-cam.com/video/DXHlDDDsyVo/w-d-xo.html
Stay safe!
Why those floors?
@@WynnWynn-gl3fkI would say the lazy ones hunt the first floors and the shadows those far away from crowd.
@@WynnWynn-gl3fk basically she said not the ground floor because its more accessible for someone trying to get to you, being higher that gotta work a little harder from the outside to come up
@WynnWynn-gl3fk I gave you the time to look at in the video.
Car tip: CHANGE YOUR AUTO LOCK/UNLOCK SETTINGS Most newer cars come with a default setting to unlock ALL doors when you put your car in park. This allows perps to hop into your car before you even see them. Additionally, the default settings unlock ALL doors when you use your fob, allowing perps to hop in even if you reached the safety of your car in a chase or slide in as you do. It’s incredibly easy to change these settings using the menus on your dash and buttons on your steering wheel. Tutorials are available online or you can check your car’s manual (which is likely still in your glove box). Set your car to only unlock the drivers door when the fob is used, and turn off auto unlock when you park, leaving all doors locked until you’re ready to exit. Many oil change shop personnel will gladly help you with this, sometimes with a fee, if you’re intimidated by the process.
This is such a good tip! Thank you so much for sharing this. 🙌🏽❤️
Thank you so much
I did not know that could be changed. Thank you, because how many times have I been ticked that a car company thought that was a great idea when it really jeopardizes women's safety.
I have 2010, so I have to hit my remote 2 for all locks to open.
@@Cantetinza17 That’s better!
I just don’t answer people when questions are asked. I don’t know you . I ask people to move when they are too close . But I’m not friendly anyway
@@tayriobravo6204 I can understand not wanting to be friendly at times. It’s all about how you feel in the moment of interaction. You gotta look out for you! Stay safe and take care! Thanks for sharing! 🙌🏽💯
Sometimes you have to be nice to save your life 🙏🏾 … Assertive, but nice.
Yes, I straight up act like I am unable to hear/a person who is deaf. It honestly has worked so far. Sometimes cat callers will yell louder but if you give no reaction at all, even when they get angry that you ignore (because y’all all know they do)… it has helped. It also does not give them the benefit of knowing they got your attention, even if they did (in reality).
You sound like an unpleasant person in general, even if no one is bothering you, but by judging a few things about you, I shouldn't be surprised. 🙄
Went on a few dates with a guy recently, and after I started feeling safe, I revealed a few things that I had lied about for my safety. Idk how it affected us, and I tried to explain that it was for my safety, it is unfortunate that I have to live and do things like this, but I'd do it again just to ensure my safety.
You have to do what’s best for you, hopefully the guy understands that you had to feel safe first. Take care and always follow your intuition! 💗
I'm sorry I'm so sorry
A man who truly cares about you would understand
Did that recently. Just had to end one of my lies after 2 months! It’s actually insane!
Well just keep in mind that if someone lies in order to sleep with someone that that's coercion.
Travel Safety Tips (4:42) :
1. Safest floors are 3-6. Don't be on the ground floor - it is easy for people to get into the room that way. But floors 3 - 6 are still low enough to be accessible for an emergency.
2. When you get in your room, lock the security lock right away and keep it locked.
3. Once you are in the room for the evening, use a portable rubber doorstop and jam it into the door while you sleep for added security.
4. If you go out in the evening, watch your drink and never leave it alone
5. Send your itinerary to people who are not traveling with you so they know where you are
6. Helpful apps:
a. If traveling outside of the US: Smart Traveler App (made by the US Dept of State. Thanks for the correction!) - Give insight if there are any national security issues in the country you're in. It's free.
b. Panic Button App - A button that you push that alerts people on your contact list that there has been an emergency. It provides them with your GPS location.
Thank you for this, it’s helpful for others to screen grab and keep the tips handy! Appreciate you! 🙌🏽
Btw I checked on the app and it looks like she meant to say the Smart Traveler app (US Dept of State), it’s in the App Store.
@@BoldBeginningsNow Thanks for bringing these important tips to light for so many! 🌟😃 I have corrected my comment with the proper app name too. Thank you!
Oh I'm buying those travel locks TA DAY! Last week I was forced to stay in a motel that used regular keys and didn't have a chain or deadbolt inside. I had to move furniture to barricade the door.
Yessss TA DAY!!! Stay Safe! 🫶🏽
There are also doorstoppers with alarms. ❤
The man @3:00 minutes showed that alarm doorstop.
My daughters do not want to hear me tell them. I’m glad you’re warning others.
If I can add something here, anytime you’re getting your vehicle serviced or getting aftermarket items installed, do not give them your real address or leave your address (paper insurance cards, etc) in the vehicle. I’ve had family get stereos stolen, break ins, etc. get the address of the post office and just use that. Also, everyone doesn’t need to see your id. Redirect if a rando at a service business ask for it
This is good to know!
Yes, they think it is control or you are thinking they are stupid. The puberty phase is the most dangerous and it lasts up to 25.
Tell them anyway, I remember all of the stuff my parents told me that I didn't want to hear either! 😂
It's a blessing to have friends who work on cars! If I have to go somewhere, I use a fake name at places that don't need my ID.
I was an otr trucker and once I was parked at the back of a truck stop and noticed the lot was full except the spot next to me. Finally I got out to go into the truck stop to use the bathroom and there was a car in the dark next to the woods, big storage bin sitting behind it. It was creepy as hell.
I went in and mentioned it to the desk clerk and he insisted on walking me back (I'm a petite woman, 5'2), and told the guy he had to move to the car lot. Not only was it shady as hell, it was dangerous for the car.
That sounds scary and kind of reminds me of a scene from the movie “Traffik” starring Paula Patton and Omar Epps. Thanks for sharing. You stay safe out there and take care! 💗
A young man (Caleb N. Smith) and woman (Keeslyn N. Roberts) went missing from the same Flying J truck stop gas station about two days apart from each other (January 16th, 2020 and January 18th, 2020, respectively).
There's a lot of creeps & weirdos out there, and you probably prevented an attack or disappearance from occurring due to your intuition, vigilance, and street smarts.
Oh hell no. I’ve heard many stories of abducted people being put into storage bins. Good on you for being observant. And the desk clerk for saying gtfo.
Thank you for posting this. Ladies, no one is coming to save you, so you MUST SAVE YOURSELF! Take care
Yes, thank you! Be safe and take care! 😊
I currently work at a grocery store and the number of times creepy men have tried to pressure me into going home with them is insane. It's sad that some creeps can't keep it in their pants.
Thanks for sharing, but I’m sorry to hear that’s been your experience. Be safe!
One of the things I always carry on me besides my gun is a loud whistle.
Don’t use a cheap whistle because not all whistle are the same.
Keep it to let someone know where you are if you can’t scream.
A whistle is such a good thing to carry, those extra loud ones. My friend has something on her keychain that you can press and it makes a loud bullhorn like noise. Thank you for sharing this tip! 🙌🏽💯
Would an Aztec whistle work
Def always keep your head on a swivel because safety is an illusion. After shopping I keep my keys ready and everything else in the other, don't fumble for keys. I don't care how you feel about guns, do yourself a favor and at least learn all you can about safely using one. No need to own (if you don't want) a gun, but target practice and familiarity with using multiple kinds. Knowledge is power and this type can be a difference between life and death. Be safe out in these streets
Thank you so much for your tips! Keeping your keys ready is a must and knowledge of so many different ways to protect yourself definitely is power. So appreciated! 💯🙌🏽
I love the 2nd Amendment. I always have a knife on me.
Better them than me
What's the point of you don't own one? Silly advice. Mace/bear spray is a perfectly good defense also, ladies. And you don't have to worry about life in prison if you murder someone and the courts don't agree with you that it was self defense.
My dad as a nurse taught us all about danger. My danger sense is always on high alert.
That's good that your dad was able to give you some good tips and help you all stay on high alert. It's always good to have some safety tips engrained in you at a young age. Thank you for sharing and take care! ❤️😊
As a nurse? That's interesting. What kind of tips did he share
@ he’s seen people come in on drugs that someone put on a stamp and the person didn’t know were there. He’s seen car accidents where teenagers were driving. SA were a female was dragged into a parked car. Gun shots to the head where kids got ahold of unsecured firearms. Broken necks from trampolines and a dive into unknown depths head first. Drownings where people misjudged their abilities. Motorcycle accidents with no helmet. The list goes on and on.
Covid has allowed me to be comfortable with telling people, especially men, to get away from me and to stay out of my personal space. Thanks global pandemic.
No Lies Told Here! Give me a good amount of space, sometimes it gets too close for comfort.
When I was single I ALWAYS wore this diamond ring I'd bought for myself on sale at a J.C. Penney! It seriously helped. I watch everything and only use my phone when walking to/from my car to pretend I'm talking to someone. I never text when walking around. My head is up and my expression is flat. No smiles. To hell with looking nice or friendly. I used to get followed a lot in my 20s because I was nice and would smile at folks. Also, before I leave my home, a store or restaurant I dig my car keys out of my purse. ALWAYS. They can be used as a weapon and I'm not distracted at the side of my car. Oh, and yes, I lie, even to some women if they ask strange questions and give me a strange vibe. I lie about my name, where I'm heading, what I'm doing, etc. Lie and stay safe, y'all. Lie and stay alive.
Thank you so much for sharing all of your experiences and tips! And that diamond ring came in handy! Take care! ❤️
People clown us Jersey Girls who don’t get out and pump gas. But it’s so much safer!
Love that about Jersey! 🙌🏽🙌🏽
I can't get behind this one, because I once had to pump gas for an 80 yr old woman, whose husband had just passed away.
She had no idea how to even start. Don't let yourself get ignorant about how things are done and don't assume that you'll definitely remember (or have the updated info), 50 yrs from now. Don't be caught off guard, avoid the same traps.
Righttttt but it is safe
You can lie and say youre waiting on your husband, dad brother .. that’s helped me a few times
Yessss!! You gotta do what you gotta do! 👍🏽
2:00 The app she mentioned is really good! I accidentally hit the button while I was half asleep trying to turn my alarm off, I tried to cancel it but it had been too long so the cops came to check if I was okay. They made sure to ask for my ID to verify it was really me. They were extremely nice & I really appreciated it. Although I was embarrassed I was happy to know that it actually works! ❤
That’s good to know it actually works. Thanks for sharing! 🙌🏽💯
Also, be mindful of restrooms, and shopping centers and airports. A Portuguese lady had a problem during the check in at an airport a few staff were associates with trafickers and they tried to separate her from her boyfriend and they said her passport had a problem and she could not get onboard. She started to make a live by Instagram. Nothing happened to her🙏🤚. She went to the police after that.
@@tamiressilva-ee7kb that’s very interesting and alarming. Thanks for sharing this!
A number of years ago I was walking to my car at night. It was very dark and there weren't a lot of lights in the very large parking lot. I normally parked at the end of the street so that I wouldn't have to wait as long to get on the road, as everyone normally got off at the same time so it was always a bit of a mess.
This particular night there weren't a lot of people there. As I'm walking to my car I notice a white man walking a ways behind me. Even though he was quite a distance away something didn't feel right. There are huge spaces between each row of cars which was line with trees. My car was over in the next row, so I cut across and noticed he was still behind me. I quickened my pace and so did he. Once I reached near the front of my vehicle I hit the car alarm, turned to face him and stepped out of my heels - ready to fight.
I think he realized I wasn't as easy of a mark as he thought. He cut back across the row and trees.
@BrownGirlColorStruckWorld
Seriously that's really scary though. If he fled then he obviously had bad intentions. glad you're ok.
Thanks for sharing your experience! Sorry you had to go through this, but glad you were aware of your surroundings. Stay safe and take care! ❤️
Men are scary creatures, why are they so aggressive?
Omg!
Whenever a taxi or Uber driver makes small talk I often just say I’m meeting people especially family. I think it saved me once when I studied abroad because the guy was giving me odd vibes (probably not but I have great intuition) and I for some reason decided to sit next to him in the front passenger seat 😅. I only did that because that seat’s window was not tinted and I can easily see where I am. In that time I also said I have class that time, it’s test day and I was running a bit late.
I’m glad you followed your intuition and made the best decision you could at the time. I have another video that highlights a young lady talking about ride share tips, feel free to check it out. th-cam.com/video/DXHlDDDsyVo/w-d-xo.html
Thank you for sharing your experience! 🙌🏽💯
This was smart of you. I thought I was the only one who did this. I also pretend like I'm on the phone with my dad and sometimes I purposely call a family member
On the Uber app you should change your name so the Uber driver doesn't know it and also call the Ubers to one block from your house so they don't know exactly where you live.
@ these are some good tips! Thanks for sharing! 💯🙌🏽
Another one; treat every exit & threshold like you're crossing the street to prevent getting snuck up on.
I like that, look both ways. Scope the scenery out! 🙌🏽
Always. I check my doorways and corners. It might seem paranoid to walk around like that but it can save your life. I enjoy going for long walks. I literally pretend I’m in a horror movie or thriller, I make it a “game” for myself LOL
I heard a story from a woman traveling alone: she got to a Chalet condominium in the forest . It was a sort of hotel rustic complex. She was at the reception doing the check in when a man got there and the attendant, while taking the keys to give it to her, said lowdely " here is your key, you will be staying at the room number.... " She found that very weird and to prevent anything, she got out of the reception area as if going to the appointed room, but waited until the other guest get away to go back there and say very firmly: " I want another room !" . Nothing happened to her.🙏
@@tamiressilva-ee7kb thank you for sharing that story and maybe it should be a part of hotel/hospitality training not to announce room numbers.
Please don’t get an attitude with them! Be assertive but never rude. Say you’re pregnant, that you don’t speak the language, start fake doing sign language, pretend to answer a call. Distract them or make yourself less appealing
These are some great tips, I appreciate you for sharing them for others to see here. Be safe and take care! 🫶🏽
@ thank you. You do too.
I said I'd do sign language
I got an attitude once (I was I8 and he was old af even by today's standards in my 40's). He was on a bike blocking me from passing on the sidewalk insisting he get my number. I gave him a fIrm no with ATTITUDE and I ended up having to run for my life so good advice!!!
BE RUDE. Works for me every time.
When i was in college i always made sure my female friends and me were always together when leaving off campus. Everyone's parents loved me cuz I made sure none of my friends went to the bank or an atm by themselves.
And when one of our friends was getting stalked, we coordinated our schedules so she would always have company until unfortunately the stalker went an caught a case assaulting another person outside our friend group. Build a community you trust yall
That was so kind of you to be that friend that’s reliable and caring to always be there. Also there is nothing like a great group of supportive friends. Sorry to hear about the person getting assaulted. Thank you for sharing! 💯
Just filed for an emergency restraining order on someone who was pretending to be a meek innocent guy-hell nah we found out bro is a full on psychopath. Never ever feel hesitant to protect yourself especially if you live alone
I’m sorry you’re going through this, be safe! Take care! 🙏🏽❤️
@ thank you so much, your content is very helpful
I tell my friend this all the time and she feels more confident. Make sure it still works and functions properly, the last thing you want is a dead flashlight/taser. If you have a taser or whatever for self defense, practice actually using it and take it out of the carrying case, your purse, etc. because an eye blink is all the time it takes for 'ish to get real.
Things happen so fast and panic sets in, so being prepared is key. Thank you for saying take it out of the case because a lot of times we get things and are content just because we have it, but we do need to practice using it.
We women are socialized to be "nice", obedient and "cooperative" AT ALL TIMES.
Self-preservation suffers terribly under this default setting,
so if you can't easily avoid answering questions, you can ask one.
Think of a list of the most uncomfortable and obtrusive questions that you are constantly being asked by entitled, obnoxious strange men.
Go through that list,
and instead of the answer you gave,
practice asking a question or cosplaying a character, like you're in a SNL sketch.
Example:
Him: Where do you go for fun, when you're not at work?"
You :
"Well, I don't go outside much, due to all my allergies,
but I like to bowl with my daddy and mama sometimes.
I go to the library and I spend most days working on my stamp collection."
(He's being awfully audacious if he questions your spare time any further. But he'll be audacious.)
Him: Oh, which one's your favourite library?
You : Oh my goodness!
Why do you ask?
Do you have a recommendation?
What's your favourite library?
Don't you just love libraries and and all those shelves and shelves filled with wonderful books?
Just refuse to give information about yourself to nosy strangers.
That's the real Golden Rule they should be teaching the children.
Love the SNL reference…thanks for sharing this!
Your suggested skit is so funny, but may very well work. I also recommend getting super religious. Maybe say " the Lord just put it on my heart to pray for you, and start praying as loud as you can.
This is funny work. Me I’d just be like “there’s no reason for you to know that. I’m not interested in you if that’s what you’re hoping. Bye”
If they get all loud & aggro IDK. This is a Target but Clowns gotta put on a show where they can IG.
Safety First! NEVER ignore a bad feeling. Just get out of there if you need to.
YESSSS! Thanks for this tip! You gotta listen to your intuition.
Great advice! When I started dating after my divorce at 40yrs old, I never have guys pick me up. They don't need to know where I live. If I don't know them really well, I don't even tell them my last name. It's too easy to Google and find my address. I know my old butt isn't gonna be kidnapped and trafficked, but we definitely have to be careful. One last thing my daughter says: big girls are harder to kidnap, so stay safe and eat cake 😁
You made me laugh at the end! 🤭 But thank you and yes we all have to be careful! 🫶🏽
Not quite - I got abducted and trafficked when I was obese!
You always need to pay attention to your intuition. I was walking my dog on a normal path that I walk every day which is a public park and I noticed out the corner of my eye somebody watching me. I was very discreet so he did not know that I saw him watching me, but I just had that feeling like something was wrong. I walked into my house and I always make it a habit to lock both the door and the deadbolt as soon as I walk in the house Then I went back to take a shower and when I came out of the shower, I saw the same man standing on the far side of my house peeping in the window. Thank God I locked my doors. I have thank a sergeant on our local police force who always urged me to pay attention to my surroundings. Thank you for the awareness.
When you said he was peeping through the window, I was like “Nooooooo”. I’m so glad you locked your doors as well, that is scary. Thank you for sharing and take care!
Here's tips when staying in hotels. If you have tech stuff, don't leave it out. Put it in the safe either in your room; at the front desk, or carry a portable safe for money, passports, etc.
If you can, stay in the room when it is being cleaned. Read a book. Be on your phone. You don't have to be breathing down anyone's neck, but you are clearly present and alert.
And... I found this out through an experience, if you leave after the person has cleaned your room, make sure the lock has not been manipulated so that the locking mechanism can't engage. Meaning the housekeeping person pressed something in the lock so that even though I pulled the door shut, and the bolt should have engaged, when I tested it to make sure, the door opened without my key. I called the front desk that my lock was broken. The guy came up and pressed something that allowed the door to lock properly. Apparently this was a known thing to hotel employees
Wow, that's wicked
Wow, these are all good things to know. Thank you for sharing these tips, I also make sure the door is closed and locked fully, not just hearing it close and walking away.
Those big blinking contraptions in Walmart parking lots have a bunch of cameras on them. I like to park near those.
That’s a good one! Thank you! 🙌🏽
There is almost never someone always checking the cameras
0:58 I lie unprovoked 😭😭 it’s a new story eveytime it’s so fun
🤭 just out here improvising
Bruh
@ it’s mainly to men though for safety reasons - they can be rather predatory as the video video suggests
@ChubsPuffs I'm so sorry you're right I apologize and yeah it's fun
😂 I try to practice lying. I'm not used to lying but I think if we try a little here and there we are not awkward when we do it.
I was in the middle of downtown, mid-day, waiting for my bus and some guy I didn't know walked right up to me and started making small talk - but he was asking questions like, "what's your name? Who do you live with? What area of the city do you live in?" and let me make something clear: I HATE lying, and I have a hard time lying because I can't believe it, so I know someone else can't. In this case, I definitely lied but I included some truths to make it easier on myself. It wasn't anything regarding sensitive or personal information that would jeopardize my safety. Maybe this will help someone else who struggles with lying. For all I know, it was just a cultural difference and he was trying to be polite, and normally I'm happy to give people the benefit of the doubt, but there's just some information you cannot disclose to anybody you don't know, no matter how friendly or safe they seem.
You are exactly right, no need to disclose any information you don’t feel comfortable giving to a stranger, they don’t need to know in the first place. Talk about the weather and how long the bus is taking, small talk that doesn’t involve all of the personal business, what stranger needs to know who you live with during a first meeting. I’m glad you followed your intuition and used a little lie when you believed it was necessary. Thank you for sharing!
Another piece of advice is to learn how to make guttural/growling sounds, I already do it in my spare time because it’s fun (just gather a lot of spit/phlegm in the back of your mouth/throat, tighten/loosen your throat as needed, and go ham lmao).
Not only is it fun to make new sounds, it’s also fun to do it in the middle of the night (also buy an Aztec death whistle it’s cool and functional, very loud)
Thanks for the tips! Someone else brought up buying a whistle, I’ll have to check this Aztec one out. 🙌🏽 Take care!
For the whistle if you don't have the cash to spend, learn how to use an acorn top/bottle cap as a whistle! The smaller acorn tops absolutely sound like a scream and it's LOUD.
I taught my children to scream and be really loud. Your voice is a weapon. I also taught them to bark..seriously. let them think you crazy. Be safe and look out for each other.
I was being followed walking from a walking trail to the parking area. I quickly picked up my phone and pretended to speak to someone who was in the area. The imaginary convo went something like this"YOU SEE ME...OH, YEA I see your car. I'm walking up now
Oh, they are just walking, not with me"
By the time I made it to my car, they were gone.
You gotta have a good imagination sometimes, you played that off good! 😊 🙌🏽
I didn't know there was a extra lock like that. I also recommend having a carbon monoxide detector on hand
Thank you for your tip! Carbon monoxide is dangerous, so I appreciate you sharing. I saw that people also use the extra door locks at home as well.
Yes. I've heard countless stories of people dying of or getting carbon monoxide poisoning, mostly in Mexico, while they're sleeping.
@ I take mine everywhere I go. It can happen here in the states as well. It has actually and I'm so grateful I had it
Once they see how looney I am they get TF away from me quick! 😂
Not looney! 😂😂 But if it works keep doing it! Thanks for sharing!
@@BoldBeginningsNow Yea I’ll admit I go from 0 to 100 real quick!!! Lol! They let the look fool em! 😂
I like the idea of “lying” just to stay friendly and keep it light, yet SAFE. I’ve had too many bad situations and close calls in my youth. 💩 happens, please stay safe ladies and femmes.
Situations like what? I'm so so sorey
@ accosted on a public in Los Angeles, bus driver wouldn’t do a thing g including calling the cops. Military S.A. and much much more. I was kept chaste and naive due to my super Catholic upbringing.
I’m sorry you had those experiences. Thank you for being open enough to share because everything you mentioned is a lot to deal with. Take care! 🫶🏽
@@katsybo my God I'm so sorry. So so sorry
I prefer not to lie unless absolutely necessary. So, when anybody asks me anything I don't want to answer - my go to phrase is, "I'd rather not say."
@@BlueJadeU Thanks for sharing! 🙌🏽💯
Im a 34 year old woman living alone with my cats. Men I dont know will ask me "do you live alone" quickly upon meeting them and its very unsettling. When I say "why would you ask that?" they stammer. Ive been on my own for a very long time and have navigated potentially very dangerous situations many, many times, but for some reason this question always catches me off gaurd. Ive said YES to it! And then i think wow why would I say that? My house has security cameras that immediately upload all footage as its filmed, but that just helps find the perpetrator and doesnt necessarily stop them. I think it feels almost like a normal question because women amd teenage girls will ask me the same thing but for VERY different reasons. I live in an area that's back in time and it's less common for women to be completely independent, so thats why they ask. Theyre looking to stop depending on some dude and want to know how (ive just always been like this so i dont have great advice for breaking codependency. My family is mean and cold and this is just what I know, to do for myself or sleep outside/go hungry.) But the guys are being creepy and alarming.
Thank you for sharing! Stay safe and take care! ❤️
I definitely use an alias for Uber and Lyft rise and I always lie about myself no matter how nice that the Driver seems to be
That’s the operative word “seems” because you just don’t know. Thank you for sharing this! Be safe and take care! ❤️🙌🏽
As a woman I wanted to be a Lyft driver to help women travel with ease of mind. It worked they loved me and it was so fun in SF Bay Area prior to 3/19/2020
For the hotel: There are doorstops with alarms, too. ❤
Yesss, thank you! 🙌🏽💯
Even on a date. If you go to use the restroom and you haven’t finished your drink order a new one when you get back to the table.
Good one! Thanks for sharing! 🙌🏽
I go to the bathroom before the meal. If I must use the restroom during the meal, I won't eat or drink upon my return.
I always tell myself if I arrive to the table and he says he got me a drink I tell him I cannot drink it since I wasn't present.
Ive seen too many "almost kidnapped" videos at Walmart and hotels. Please be carful! Take these tips!!
Yes, be careful and stay safe! Thank you! 😊🙌🏽
Who's raising young boys that become the men that make women feel (and be!) unsafe???
That’s a good question too.
I'm not sure,but I was just on a bus 2days ago, grown man looked like 35 was watching a p-rno on his cell and I said out loud, No he's not watching that!!! And teenage girls and women were all around on the bus. Pervs are EVERYWHERE. PA, Upperdarby Pa 🙏🙏
there's a the0ry that círcumcísíon creates distrust of theír m0ther that can nevér be remedíed.
White Americans mostly but you cant trust ANYONE these days
What a dumb and leading question.
If guns are legal where you are, learn to conceal it on your body.
Thank you for that tip! Appreciate it! 💯🙌🏽
yes...don't use a gun purse, ladies...it's the first thing they go for..
In America though, being black, brown, poor or a woman will still get you charged for attempted murder if you use it. I mean, there will be a time, it’s either you or them in those situations, but doing so and getting off on a self defense charge is a privilege mostly reserved for cops & white men with more money & influence.
Human Trafficking is Real… Be Safe, y’all!!
Yes, it most certainly is! Thanks for sharing!
For many years I was a bartender who worked late, and I live in a small city. I made sure my neighbors knew me. I was cautious always, but not fearful. I also could open that front door to apartment building ina flash
I know that’s right, have your keys ready to open the door and close it real fast. And yeah we just have to be cautious and aware of our surroundings, not living in fear. Thank you for sharing! 😊
Be safe out here yall!!!🙏🏾
Yeah it's unfortunate we have to worry about so much when we are going out, but safety first always!
💯🫶🏽
We have to be prepared for the world we got, not the world we wish we had. As my mother used to say, "...an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." The best way to deal with trauma is to do our best to avoid the trouble before it happens, whenever possible. When we are unable to avoid it, we try to learn as much as we can for the next time. Stay safe out there. Cheers!
@@SourceAwryT Mom’s always have the best sayings, right? We do have to be prepared for the world we got, I like that! Thank you for sharing! 🙌🏽💯
Another safety tip here from my police officer friend - when you get in your car, lock the door and drive off immediately. Do not sit there in the parking lot and scroll through your phone espcially at night. Throw your purse and shopping bags in the car and leave!
Much appreciated! Thank you for sharing these tips! 🙌🏽💯
I ain’t living naive but I ain’t living in fear either 💯 sometimes you just gotta trust the divine
I can understand that as well. 💯
...Famous last words
Cutscene, screaming to God 'Why?'
Good luck w that
@@Peace-e8j lmao
True. Bad things never happen to good people. 🙈🙉
I had a man come to my job once and he was creeping on me the moment he stepped through the door. I helped him as fast as I could and before I could give him his paperwork, he asked me if I lived around here. I live maybe 20 minutes away heading east, but my immediate instinc told me to lie. "Oh about 45 minutes west of here", and knowing he was local I knew he wouldn't press too much about where. He tried talking to me for a bit, but I politely told him I needed to help in the back room. I left and waited until I knew he drove away. I still feel uneasy knowing he knows where I work now.
Thanks for sharing. Always follow your instincts just like you did here. Take care! 🫶🏽
When running, I keep pepper spray on me that’s looped to a wrist harness - it is in my hand at all times and clearly visible. I always made sure my kids checked their shoelaces before we got out of the car (they were always untied) because they knew we wouldn’t stop in the parking lot to tie them. You can buy door alarms at the dollar tree to set on your front doors and windows for apartments also. Never open your door to anyone late at night - even if it seems they have the wrong door. I had this happen at 4am once, I was alone and I looked outside to see my car was the only one in the parking lot except for the car knocking on my door who left his car running. A couple of days later he tried following me into my apartment while I was bringing in groceries, my then husband chased him round the block. Found out later this guy had been trying to peer into apartments to find women alone and was caught by the cops.
These are some good tips! I’m glad your then husband was able to chase the guy away and the guy was later caught by police. Thank you for sharing!
I had to lie and tell a guy I’m underage when he was being pushy and cat calling me, the one time I’m glad I look fairly young for my age because it worked
Thanks for sharing your experience! Take care! 💗
get a google voice account. if you ever have to give a man your phone number (sometimes you have to for deescalation) give him your google voice number. they can find your name and address online with your regular phone number so this prevents them from finding you (and you won’t have to see their messages)
That is a good one! Thank you for the tip! 💯🙌🏽
Genius! 👏👏👏
My face do be in my phone, but people don’t know I’m listening and watching everything. Or headphones in but nothing playing. Ppl get shocked when I answer them or over hear them. Like yes I can hear you with these big things on cuz nothing is playing lol.
Gotta stay ready, I heard that!! 💯🙌🏽
Earbuds with nothing playing were a constant when I lived in the city, bc it gives plausible "can't hear you" for randos. The times I forgot them were the times I'd get bothered by strangers.
Keep these safety tips coming, please!
Thank you so much! I do have another safety video. th-cam.com/video/DXHlDDDsyVo/w-d-xo.html. There's some additional tips from multiple people including a retired Secret Service Agent. I appreciate you watching! 💯🙌🏽
Thank you, lovely. This is so important for us women to hear. Stay safe ladies!
You’re so welcome. ☺️ Take care and stay safe!
I’m pleased to see women sharing great safety tips with other women.🥳 Take them SERIOUSLY ladies. Her some additional advice: Walk fast and purposeful without being on the phone it makes it a bit more difficult to be a target. It’s more difficult to lock in on a fast moving target. Sometimes I jog/run when like I forgot something if I have eyes watching me. It’s wise to walk back your vehicle with key or key fog in your hand so you can get in quickly, lock all doors immediately and drive away from that location. Wearing those dainty high heel shoes and walking slowly is not a good idea when alone. Carrying large handbags can prove problematic. It’s simply best to not be seen out in public at all to lessen the risk of danger but unfortunately we have to do so for work, shopping, medical appointments, etc. Night attacks are more common but some brazen attackers can strike in broad daylight. So don’t underestimate the fact that daylight attacks won’t happen. They are less likely but are known to happen. SAFETY FIRST LADIES. Some of these men out getting desperate for female attention. PLEASE don’t put yourselves at risk by getting in their vehicles or to their homes or have them come to your home. It’s just too risky. Why chance it? Prevent is better than cure.❤
So many good tips here! Thank you so much for sharing your experience and urging others to be safe as well. Take care! 🙌🏽💯
I asked my mom and sisters to stop being in the car for long but to immediately lock all doors once the car's gearshift was in park. Saw it in a short and Never forgot it. This world is full of beautiful things but still be cautious.
@@tiawilson173 yes, regardless of how nice it seems we still have to be cautious. Thank you for sharing that tip! 😊
God I have so many “close call” stories. I’m lucky but luck runs out eventually. Ladies, please trust your gut and take precautions! Lie! Be rude! Be loud! Have a plan! Please be safe ❤🙏
@@lilscenechick1995 thank you for sharing this! You continue to be safe as well. ❤️
The simple doorstop is a good one...an alarmed one even better
Yes, it is! Thanks for watching! 🙌🏽
Thanks so much for sharing this with us. Thankful for the reminder.
You are so welcome! 🤗 Glad it was helpful!
I was chatting this guy on a dating app and he asked me what's the name of the company I work for. I told him that I couldn't tell him that because I don't know him well enough. It was such a weird question. It made me very leery of him. I only give vague general answers when chatting on these apps.
Yeah I heard it’s best to keep it vague and surface until you get comfortable enough to be more open. Stay safe out there! 💯☺️
It's good that your mindful and don't give out those information. A guy once ask where I work too saying he was only asking to find a place for us to meet to make it convenient for me, but don't tell these people these things.
I’m definitely getting those door locks/alarms! I just came back from Belize this weekend and I stayed in a hotel with a regular key and the lock was on the door handle, one night someone opened our door! I’m pretty sure it was an accident but it freaked me tf out! Luckily I wasn’t alone but that really creeped me out and I would’ve been so scared if I had been by myself or asleep when it happened!
I would've been scared too, thank goodness you weren't alone. I'm glad this was helpful for you. Take care! 🫶🏽
A neighbour of mine told me her daughters drink got spiked in a bar recently and her daughter ended up extremely sick in hospital for a week and when they investigated it and watched back the security cameras,- it was a bartender that spiked her drink. Horrible 😢
@@EmmaRonan that is so horrible!!! I’m sorry that happened to her. Hope she is doing better. Thanks for sharing this story! Take care!
SISTAS SAVING SISTERS: 💞 Thank you for the very valuable safety tips on this thread! 💞 I am securing my safety ASAP.
You are so welcome! And the added tips by so many others is invaluable! 💗
Excellent video! I am 69 and I have always by default even when I was younger lied to anyone that tried to press me for information whether it be casual or aggressively with conversation that was none of their business. However, I think that there will still be unfortunately young women that will not heed the advice in this video and will continue sadly to expose themselves to unwanted situations and possibly an outcome that they could’ve avoided. Hopefully that is not the case, and that they come across this video and apply it to their lifestyle . New Subscriber here!
Thank you so much for providing your insight into this matter! I appreciate you for subbing also! ❤️
I always mention my how my family expects to see me soon. Or how I talk on the phone daily with my mom.
That’s good too! Thanks for this tip! 🙌🏽
Big thank you !
@@susangi you are most welcome! 🙏🏽
This is situational awarness.
We as men learn this at Early age
My girlfriend refuses to listen to me about situational awareness.
Definitely situational awareness. 💯🙌🏽
@@BoldBeginningsNow we as men have to have it. Women are a threat too. Too many stories of dangerous women as well.
64 year old man was beaten in DC by two girls. They unalived him.
Alot of sistas sh@@t men for breaking up with them.
Well she has you and you ALWAYS do that when she is with you. I know you want her to be aware when she is alone but because we have made (in general) the world so safe for women that they get out here and completely trust in it....outside alone walking at 2:00 Am with EVERYTHING hanging out!...and aint supposed to be no crazy people in society I guess....I don't know what the hell y'all are thinking! GOOD LUCK though!
@@tdigitalgroupproductions230what
@@tdigitalgroupproductions230aren't men the ones to fear too tho
Once I leave my job at 10:45 pm. The pepper spray is already in hand.
Staying prepared for anything, I know that’s right! Thanks for sharing, take care! 🙌🏽