@@WillThat Get in the best shape of your life. Improve your education or finances. Try Bumble. Or Catholic singles. There's something out there. Good luck.
@@WillThat - once you are done and healed from this relationship, be careful where you look for the next one. I would start with organizations of volunteers in an area that you care about. Someone who works and also donates her time will pretty much have to be somewhat organized, able to commit to a job and keep it, has a heart for other people, and may have decent social skills. Other than that, be the kind of person that will attract and keep a good person. Look for Kemistry after that. I’m leaving that, just to show that voice dictation doesn’t know how to spell chemistry.
People I know who dated red flag people, and who saw marriage as a finish line, ended up getting divorced almost immediately after getting married. They were blinded by the milestone and overly focused on sunk costs.
@A. Alimony and child support are two different things. I'd gladly pay for child support for OUR kids. But I will never endorse giving ANYONE (be it an ex-wife or ex-husband) half of your hard earned income and assets because THEY chose to be bad with money in their 20's
I had to pause the video and comment. She just referred to him as “this individual”. Girl, if you feel that referring to your boyfriend as an “individual” is appropriate, just leave. You don’t like him. And, he’s not likable. Trust your gut.
Dad always said ... "If you're not sure what to order, ask the person who's paying what they're having and stay under that." It gives respect to the person providing and allows them to set a limit removing the uncomfortable feelings.
People need to see that this one example of ordering most expensive item is a symptom of a larger issue. Sure you could tell the BF to order nothing over $20.00 but you've still got a self entitled bum on your hands.
@@scifigirl0072 Completely agree with you. I guess I was thinking that if he thinks this is OK, then it is likely something that he was/wasn't taught at home and the caller would be tying herself to more than just his antics.
Might seem like a little thing, but him ordering the expensive items on the menu when he's not paying , shows everything about his character you need to know.
@@Obliv69 when you're looking for a husband to have children with I don't think it's a problem to seek a man who wants to provide for the meal. I think it's an honorable gesture. The problem is when a woman doesn't consider his budget and doesn't think long term. Men should seek a woman who will pack a picnic and do cheap activities and he should also want to take her out and pay for her meal. If people are settled and are seeking something else than that's ok too. But don't discount old values. They are helpful in many ways
Don’t forget about her dating the other guy. She missed that part. She could bring the boyfriend in the relationship and say “Bababooey is here to STAY!!!” 😂🤣😂🤣🤣
@@2311ification which is why you should leave if you're ready for marriage and the other person is not. Then find someone who IS ready for marriage. You dont wait around in the hopes someone will be ready on a later date. That's really dumb and a waste of your time and life.
I agree Tom too many people ignore those little red flags until they escalate. This type of behavior shows either the person has little regard for her financial situation or is an opportunist that would use anybody he thinks he could extract money from. Be alert I am sure she will see more red flags in the near future.
No she's not. She's 27 years old and has no prospect of having a husband. Have fun with the cat life. She dated a bad boy and tried to turn him into a beta and it's not happening. This situation is the same reason that married women get divorced because some guy in the office flirts with her she thinks that that guy is going to marry her and take care of her kids it's not going to happen..
If you're a guy that works because your dating value goes UP with age. As a gal the opposite is true. Even at 27 she knows the wall is approaching rapidly
Take it from someone who married and had kids with a guy like this and went through a painful divorce over a decade later after years of money worries and other, worse disasters, please leave him
At least you eventually got out. My sister married a man who stopped working right after their marriage. It's been 30 years and he's still never left the couch. And, he's developed a drinking problem as a result. Women ....run very far from unemployed men!
@@justinacase2623 Is everything alright? Usually people that are “great guys” don’t have to say it, or try to prove themselves in a Dave Ramsey TH-cam comment section. Please go to a therapist or... call your mother or sister and get everything off your chest.
@@justinacase2623 I feel like men who say this are not living in actual reality. Most men have been in relationships, so women aren’t just picking the “loudest men in the room”. Mathematically that doesn’t even make sense. Maybe there’s something wrong with you?
So, he he’s paying, he gets a side salad, but if someone else is paying he gets the lobster n steak w/all the sides? He needs to go faster than Usain Bolt. That dude is disrespectful and has 0 idea about money.
@@augustusplays7896 I would say that is a good thing. More people should. Still, if you are here enough to notice it, then maybe you are addicted too. 😅
That fact that your guy has been without a job for 9 months already lets you know that he don't like to work and he's okay with living off someone else's hard work and sweat. Cut em loose woman!
@@mingmangmung3051 That’s so true! Women who come from unstable homes where they had to work are the most vulnerable. They need a certain kind of attention they never got at home, and they are ready to pay for it because they are financially successful and independent.
@Bobby Rubarb I would feel the same way. You shouldn’t be taking advantage because the other person is paying, unless they’ve told you to order whatever you want. Being unemployed should make one be more considerate of what things cost - especially when the prices are right there for you to see.
@Bobby Rubarb I would feel the same way. She would be totally taking advantage. If he were my friend I would advise him to look for someone who has his best interest at heart.
"Old School" manners has it that the non-payer asks the payer what he/she's thinking of ordering. If the payer says, "Hmmm... the chicken looks pretty good," order something in the price range of the chicken. If it's, "I'm thinking about the steak and lobster," then go ahead and order something pricey. It works the same for the payer - don't say, "order whatever you want," say, "the steak and lobster looks really good. And look at that shrimp cocktail appetizer!" It's a polite way to make the other person comfortable without getting into dollars and cents.
Agree w/ this. I met my fiancé when he was at his lowest point. He’d move backed to the state after a breakup and was sleeping on an air mattress in his friend’s apartment. Just got injured a car wreck recently and didn’t have a car. But when I met him, I knew he was driven NOT to be at that point but to be somewhere better. He got a car and in several months he’d gotten a better job. When his AF buddy had to move to another base he took over that room and rent. If I had judged him based off of where he was, that wouldn’t have been right. But I judged him based on where he wanted to go and had the initiative to. Now we’re engaged, both making decent income, and excited for our future. But if I’d met him and he was unemployed and didn’t WANT to work and WANTED to mooch off of his roommates or family, that would be a different story.
My mentor told me relationships are an investment. Is he going to be a net asset to your vision or a liability? If he is more interested in taking than giving, he is a wolf. Run!!
Walk. I freak out if I dont have a job more than a day. I have not been without a job more than 3 days since I was 15. Now 37 and I still worry about being unemployed one day so I'm cosistently looking for ways to learn more to provide value to an employer. Once you have kids you have to realize its not only you sleeping under a bridge if you dont make money.
Total Momma's boy, better show him the door. What a disgrace to order the most expensive thing on the menu and expect her to pick up the bill. That speaks volumes
@Bobby Rubarb Why waste 8 months of your life with only 1 person if you aren't thinking about eventually getting married (or if you aren't into the idea of marriage, then thinking about being together long term)? That's a lot of months to spend with someone with no goal in mind. My bf & I have been together for 2 years now, but the topic of marriage definitely came up before 8 months. Neither of us are ready financially yet, but if we were, we would already be married.
@@JuancoPRoFlow it's only really worth it if you want kids. You have a better shot at a more stable family unit if neither party can just pick up and leave. You don't get out of child support anyways whether or not you're married. At least when there is a divorce the separation, custody, and child support is done at once. Unmarried couples, it's a rolling disaster with custody and support tackled... Whenever.
You guys are counting those who get divorced, how about the ones that won't divorce even though they are miserable and have tons of debt so no point in splitting up, successfull marriages is probably 10% of total marriages
I know a few people like this. They are indulgent.. and don't see anything wrong with taking advantage of others. There's a saying that goes... if you are a giving person, you better have boundaries. Because the takers don't have any! When you finally do try to put boundaries in place the person suddenly sees you as cold and mean. Not a fun place to be.
As a person that spent 4 years of their life with a person that had no ambition or drive. They will become an anchor you're trying to drag into your own future. Just end it they will be miserable with you as well because you're not on the same level.
There must be a lot of jobs out there, I am over 70 and was joking around in a store about looking for a job, 5 people offered me jobs in construction, paying from 18. to 35. dollars an hour.
Ladies, If you know the type of man you see yourself with and the man you are dating is a deal breaker. Let him go NEVER settle. If its a problem now, it'll be a ticking time bomb later. He needs to grow so let him go and you better yourself and wait patiently until the right man comes around. Don't comfort your lust just to say you have a man. This applies to man too.
"Ladies, If you know the type of man you see yourself with and the man you are dating is a deal breaker, let him go. Never settle. If it's a problem now, it will be a ticking time bomb later. He needs to go, so let him go. You better yourself and wait patiently until the right man comes around. Do not comfort your lust, just to say you have a man. This applies to men too."
Doesn't sound like he's bringing anything to the relationship. She'd be better off without having to take care of another adult. If you're doing well by yourself, why would you choose to let someone else take away from that? Bottom line: he is not worth it.
She really knows the answer. She just needs to hear it from someone else. They’re not in sync. They’re not ready to move onto something more committed.
OMG! I just needed to hear the first part and knew right away that she needs to quickly get out of that relationship. They gave her good advice and she needs to take it. She was smart enough to ask so I have faith that she’ll be smart enough to listen.
You both need to be on the same page with financial mind set.. this stooge is buying the most expensive thing on the menu when he's got zero income ? Alot of marriages end cause of financial issues
@@robertlogan6340 I am doing great health-wise and the weather is nice too. How about you? By the way, are you aware that Jesus Christ loves you very much and deeply cares about you and you need Him? Please give Jesus a chance to love you unconditionally as your Lord and personal Savior ❤️♥️
Putting caller in situation of talking to their child is a very interesting perspective, and 1 that really sheds light on other aspects of life. Thanks for sharing this 1 fellas
In a dating relationship? I'd advise a man to run away from a woman doing that as well. In a marriage relationship, often it's because the woman sacrifices career to raise the family.
It could be he's handsome, charming, fun to be around ... people can be attracted to opposite of themselves. Often why some women want the 'bad boy' -- he can be exciting. The 'good guy' who is steady, reliable, responsible can be 'boring.' All of us can be our own worst enemy when it comes to who we're attracted to.
Yah I think opposites attract can be true. But you want to be attracted to someone who compliments you, not a liability. My fiancé is a driven, task oriented/action type. He’s decisive. But he’s not a bad boy... he’s a handsome dork who loves to play military board games for fun. He’s stable, reliable, and funny. I am a strategic, creative type and can be indecisive. But I am also loyal and am a researcher. I concoct the plan, he’s great at activating. If it’s just me, I may stall. If it’s just him; he usually does something not very wise. But together we are better and will be more successful.
If she decides to put him in the friend zone, hopefully, she'll also think about creating promissory notes. Because, he'll start asking for money, next.
Don't get married until he gets finances together. If he continues to be reckless, then dump the guy. His problems will be become your problem once married.
I wouldn’t recommend waiting for him to get his finances together. That may never happen. They haven’t even been together a year and he lacks motivation. There’s little hope he will suddenly find motivation, at least not long term. Maybe if faced with an ultimatum, he could maintain short term motivation. She needs to kick him to the curb
I hope she has spoke with him about her issues? Its possible he doesn't know she feel this way. I think they should talk and get on the same page! and if he doesn't see things like her they can part as friends. Best of luck to the caller!
When it comes to relationships, 6 out of 10 people are losers. And 3 out of the remaining 4 while still winners often lack the social skills or simply the will to come off as well as some of the losers. The other 1 out of 10, the true magnates of the world, are snatched up very quickly as soon as they are willing to settle down.
I think he’s very immature. I also know men who order the most expensive items (as well as extra alcoholic beverages) on the menu when they are not paying. I would never date anyone who does this. She sounds smart, she knows she should ditch this dude.
Going on little information here but he’s sounds incredibly immature especially in relation to her. It doesn’t make him a bad guy but she’s moving in a different direction or she wants to drive in a faster lane.
Yes, Trust. Your. Conscience. 💯 When there's something that doesn't sit well with you, don't ignore it, address it. I commend her for turning her attention to this and great answers from these g.o.a.t.s!
That wonderful age of 25 when everyone is in a rush to get married and look successful by the age of 30. So many ladies make terrible decisions due to this because they think their shelf life/fertility is gone after that.
Doing fine. Took two weeks off between jobs, otherwise worked through this whole pandemic, and every economic up and down and adminstration since Carter. Sure, I own a mobile home, but comfortable and only paid 4k for it and lot rent is relatively cheap in Phoenix. Two vehicles, paid for, 401k continues to grow and have money in the CU. Healthy and still working at 61, TG, and will continue without worry about retirement.
Yeah. Girl you need to respect yourself and leave. My ex (when I was young and stupid) was exactly the same way. I loved him but I couldn't bring myself to truly respect someone who wasn't responsible.
Red flags before marriage ALWAYS become raging infernos afterwards.
@@WillThat It's tough. No one can properly vet someone for ten, twenty years into the future anyway. There's some luck involved. Have fun on Tinder.
@@WillThat Get in the best shape of your life. Improve your education or finances. Try Bumble. Or Catholic singles. There's something out there. Good luck.
@@WillThat - once you are done and healed from this relationship, be careful where you look for the next one. I would start with organizations of volunteers in an area that you care about. Someone who works and also donates her time will pretty much have to be somewhat organized, able to commit to a job and keep it, has a heart for other people, and may have decent social skills. Other than that, be the kind of person that will attract and keep a good person. Look for Kemistry after that. I’m leaving that, just to show that voice dictation doesn’t know how to spell chemistry.
Yup.
People I know who dated red flag people, and who saw marriage as a finish line, ended up getting divorced almost immediately after getting married. They were blinded by the milestone and overly focused on sunk costs.
Breaking up with a boyfriend and moving on may be painful, but it is nothing compared to getting a divorce.
Getting a divorce after 20 years with mountain of debt would be worse. The handwriting is on the wall.
@@christianjensen3182 Yeah, and kids.
With children!
@A. Alimony and child support are two different things. I'd gladly pay for child support for OUR kids. But I will never endorse giving ANYONE (be it an ex-wife or ex-husband) half of your hard earned income and assets because THEY chose to be bad with money in their 20's
Amen.
I had to pause the video and comment. She just referred to him as “this individual”. Girl, if you feel that referring to your boyfriend as an “individual” is appropriate, just leave. You don’t like him. And, he’s not likable. Trust your gut.
I thought the same thing. You don’t refer to someone you’re in love with as ‘this individual”. The guy sounds like a bum and she needs to move on.
Agreed. This guy is in no hurry to grow up and the best thing she can do is run from him as fast as she can.
@@onlyme7907
What kind of chad is unemployed being supported by the girlfriend?
@@onlyme7907
A chad isn't a beta boy who needs a woman to support him.
When she said "this individual", I legit thought at first that she was dating a girl and did not wanna be judged by Dave for that.
Dad always said ... "If you're not sure what to order, ask the person who's paying what they're having and stay under that." It gives respect to the person providing and allows them to set a limit removing the uncomfortable feelings.
People need to see that this one example of ordering most expensive item is a symptom of a larger issue. Sure you could tell the BF to order nothing over $20.00 but you've still got a self entitled bum on your hands.
@@scifigirl0072 Completely agree with you. I guess I was thinking that if he thinks this is OK, then it is likely something that he was/wasn't taught at home and the caller would be tying herself to more than just his antics.
She wasn't asking for advice. She was asking for permission
Exactly. Wish I had done tge same.
Way to work John Wick into the conversation!
@@TheoryBreakthrough I think she has it, she was just asking for another opinion.
You can hear the defeat in her voice. She called essentially to ask permission to give up on the guy.
Just a second,third opinion just like anything else. Listen to your gut first!
Might seem like a little thing, but him ordering the expensive items on the menu when he's not paying , shows everything about his character you need to know.
@Nathan Swain Agreed
its funny though because thats what most women do, expect a man to pay on dates then order top of the shelf.
@@Obliv69 those women have no character either
true, but women expect men to pay on dates and they think its normal.
when its a man though, hes instantly a moocher.
@@Obliv69 when you're looking for a husband to have children with I don't think it's a problem to seek a man who wants to provide for the meal. I think it's an honorable gesture. The problem is when a woman doesn't consider his budget and doesn't think long term. Men should seek a woman who will pack a picnic and do cheap activities and he should also want to take her out and pay for her meal. If people are settled and are seeking something else than that's ok too. But don't discount old values. They are helpful in many ways
Unemployed for 8 months ☑️
Over-spender ☑️
Lazy ☑️
Girl, MOVE On!!
Like
Most women
This is called a hobolationship
@@jab7168 hahaha, yeah, ok. Troll, bye! 🤣🤣🤣
Don’t forget about her dating the other guy. She missed that part. She could bring the boyfriend in the relationship and say “Bababooey is here to STAY!!!”
😂🤣😂🤣🤣
But she can change him!
"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
- Maya Angelou
I could have saved myself so much pain if I had embraced this truth!
The best prediction of future behavior is past behavior!
Don't waste time. I learned the hard way.
I'm a believer
It’s disappointing anytime a see a male post this quote
I wish the Ramsey Show had follow-ups! It would be addicting!
Ya would add extra Anticipation
For sure! 😅
Too much like Jerry Springer...
Then he’d really look like Dr. phil
Yeah, I agree
Don’t be with people that don’t care about their future, cause they won’t care about yours..
He seems like a cool dude.. Just give him time he's 25 the women is 27!! Men don't mature until 30.. She need to date someone her age or older.
@@2311ification thats some really dumb advice
@@baywest No it's not, MOST men aren't thinking about marriage at 25.
@@2311ification which is why you should leave if you're ready for marriage and the other person is not. Then find someone who IS ready for marriage. You dont wait around in the hopes someone will be ready on a later date. That's really dumb and a waste of your time and life.
@@realastuteinvestor GOOD NEWS, HOPE IT GOES WELL!!❤️💸
Caller is smart.....to be seeing the red flags, acknowledging them and questioning them
I agree Tom too many people ignore those little red flags until they escalate. This type of behavior shows either the person has little regard for her financial situation or is an opportunist that would use anybody he thinks he could extract money from. Be alert I am sure she will see more red flags in the near future.
come on man smart?? low bar you have
Smart? But she doesn’t know what to do?
No she's not. She's 27 years old and has no prospect of having a husband. Have fun with the cat life. She dated a bad boy and tried to turn him into a beta and it's not happening. This situation is the same reason that married women get divorced because some guy in the office flirts with her she thinks that that guy is going to marry her and take care of her kids it's not going to happen..
The caller is a complete idiot.
Only 8 months?! Girl leave
I agree.
Also... 2020... I'd forgive
But looking at the big picture...
Yea...
No
Right. Just move on lol
@@onlyme7907 bad investment then.
No ROI.
Cant train people.
Up to them to decide to change
@@onlyme7907 that's her call.
Her life. She'll need to live with her decisions
She's 27.. she waited way too long she's going to have to settle
The older I get, the less BS I put up with. You can find better
DITTO!
If you're a guy that works because your dating value goes UP with age. As a gal the opposite is true. Even at 27 she knows the wall is approaching rapidly
@@johnsteele8073 isn't that sad
I appreciate your reviews
Mr Christian trade5 crypt0
When Dave asked what you would tell your daughter 🤯. Genius
Money, kids, religion, politics. Start there. If you’re not on the same page, run!
Wow that’s really good advice. I’m gonna steal this and pass it along ok?
Fax machine my man.
So spot on, I didn’t choose the first 3 correctly and it was 17 years of misery.
💯
I can relate the religion one 😭😭
Run Girl Run. Before she becomes his wife-mom.
Ugh! That term made me cringe!!! So true
“This individual” that’s all you need to hear. All done.
Right? That was awkward
I think she’s trying to remain as anonymous as possible.
It sounded like lawyer speak. She already has it in her mind
@@vincentpedalino618 also, trust your gut.
@@ominous450 Since she didn't say her career choice maybe she is a lawyer?
Take it from someone who married and had kids with a guy like this and went through a painful divorce over a decade later after years of money worries and other, worse disasters, please leave him
At least you eventually got out. My sister married a man who stopped working right after their marriage. It's been 30 years and he's still never left the couch. And, he's developed a drinking problem as a result. Women ....run very far from unemployed men!
@@justinacase2623 how is she not owning it? How many great guys are really out there? He was probably great until she married him.
@@justinacase2623 Is everything alright? Usually people that are “great guys” don’t have to say it, or try to prove themselves in a Dave Ramsey TH-cam comment section. Please go to a therapist or... call your mother or sister and get everything off your chest.
@@justinacase2623 I feel like men who say this are not living in actual reality. Most men have been in relationships, so women aren’t just picking the “loudest men in the room”. Mathematically that doesn’t even make sense. Maybe there’s something wrong with you?
@@justinacase2623 Yeah brother just don't wife her up. No marriage; no cohabitation!
Remember everyone, your partner should compliment you. Not be a chore.
"complEment"
@@SouLoveReal lol
Ladies think everything is a chore. Just saying.
@@wannabecarguy - correction: Millennial Scaggs think everything's a chore. Real Ladies can't do enough for their Man.
PREACH!
That should be on a T-shirt.
So, he he’s paying, he gets a side salad, but if someone else is paying he gets the lobster n steak w/all the sides? He needs to go faster than Usain Bolt. That dude is disrespectful and has 0 idea about money.
He he’s
He seems to know money very well - he's just showing how super selfish he is. Dump him.
Y'all should watch TLC's Extreme Cheapskates. Bunch of bums & users, trying to save a buck by using everyone else's money.
lol he’s trying to save money
@@justinacase2623 Eww...a "Chad"! Hahaha...i never heard that one. I know a few bums named Chad actually. Omg lol
When I was a kiddo my Parents taught me to be wary of those who take and take and take and take, but give back nothing.
My biggest takeaway from today’s call:
*When to end a relationship:* when you lose hope that the thing of concern is never going to get any better. ✨
Bruh you are addicted to this channel lol
@@augustusplays7896 I would say that is a good thing. More people should. Still, if you are here enough to notice it, then maybe you are addicted too. 😅
That has definitely been my experience
@@AeroPR facts lol
I’m more impressed that you knew how to spell lose correctly and not loose.
That fact that your guy has been without a job for 9 months already lets you know that he don't like to work and he's okay with living off someone else's hard work and sweat. Cut em loose woman!
I've never called a boyfriend "this individual".
Lol, that was a red flag right there!
That's funny. Good call
Which makes me think there is more to this story than the Bad-Lazy Boyfriend. She is probably just as much of a problem.
Those words are anger....
@@kaypendergast5676 I agree. You can hear from the tone in her voice she's frustrated and hurt.
"This individual..."
Yeah, you're not in love with this person, do not get married, this one isn't the one.
Who are these unemployed dudes who are able to get women to fall for them? I don't get it.
That’s the real expert work. He’s found a way to provide some kind of emotional payoff to her which allows him to eat well on her dime.
They are attentive because they have all the time on their hands
Just make her V tingle that's all it takes probably some Chad or Tyrone...
He’s prob an 8 and she a 6
@@mingmangmung3051 That’s so true!
Women who come from unstable homes where they had to work are the most vulnerable. They need a certain kind of attention they never got at home, and they are ready to pay for it because they are financially successful and independent.
Unemployed for 9 months is a huge red flag on it's own!
he orders the most expensive thing on the menu and doesn’t pay, absolute bum.
I get annoyed when people order anything other than freewater
@Bobby Rubarb I would feel the same way. You shouldn’t be taking advantage because the other person is paying, unless they’ve told you to order whatever you want. Being unemployed should make one be more considerate of what things cost - especially when the prices are right there for you to see.
@Bobby Rubarb I would feel the same way. She would be totally taking advantage. If he were my friend I would advise him to look for someone who has his best interest at heart.
"Old School" manners has it that the non-payer asks the payer what he/she's thinking of ordering. If the payer says, "Hmmm... the chicken looks pretty good," order something in the price range of the chicken. If it's, "I'm thinking about the steak and lobster," then go ahead and order something pricey. It works the same for the payer - don't say, "order whatever you want," say, "the steak and lobster looks really good. And look at that shrimp cocktail appetizer!" It's a polite way to make the other person comfortable without getting into dollars and cents.
She allowed it!🤷🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
I see more red flags than a Chinese New Year parade.
Original.
And fitting with the new administration
@@topcheese2889 😂😂
😂😂😂 very compared.
Lol
Agree w/ this. I met my fiancé when he was at his lowest point. He’d move backed to the state after a breakup and was sleeping on an air mattress in his friend’s apartment. Just got injured a car wreck recently and didn’t have a car.
But when I met him, I knew he was driven NOT to be at that point but to be somewhere better. He got a car and in several months he’d gotten a better job. When his AF buddy had to move to another base he took over that room and rent.
If I had judged him based off of where he was, that wouldn’t have been right. But I judged him based on where he wanted to go and had the initiative to. Now we’re engaged, both making decent income, and excited for our future.
But if I’d met him and he was unemployed and didn’t WANT to work and WANTED to mooch off of his roommates or family, that would be a different story.
My mentor told me relationships are an investment. Is he going to be a net asset to your vision or a liability? If he is more interested in taking than giving, he is a wolf. Run!!
No lies found...everyone we meet (friends, family, love interest etc) will fall in either category: asset or liability!
Beautiful insight!
Ah snap, that’s good!
wolves are offended !😄😄
@@hydroponichomesteader6852 wolves are predatory, that's the point
She has no respect for him at this point. Once its gone, its usually gone for good.
Walk. I freak out if I dont have a job more than a day. I have not been without a job more than 3 days since I was 15. Now 37 and I still worry about being unemployed one day so I'm cosistently looking for ways to learn more to provide value to an employer. Once you have kids you have to realize its not only you sleeping under a bridge if you dont make money.
Nice to see men like you in the world. Your family is blessed.
Your whole life is to provide value to an employer? Go outside and smell the flowers my guy
I disagree. When I’m being set up to fail, I walk. Never had a problem finding a new job
Total Momma's boy, better show him the door. What a disgrace to order the most expensive thing on the menu and expect her to pick up the bill. That speaks volumes
Already don’t like him after the first example
Right? 9 months without a job? Deliver pizzas, drive for Uber, do SOMETHING.
@@hydroponichomesteader6852 yep, lazy will be lazy no matter the gender.
@@hydroponichomesteader6852 yes
Run run run as fast as you can. He’s using you.
This breakup will be nothing compared to the years of misery and financial loss ahead of you if you dont.
I’m getting red flag vibes. Sounds like they are at two different places in life
@Bobby Rubarb Why waste 8 months of your life with only 1 person if you aren't thinking about eventually getting married (or if you aren't into the idea of marriage, then thinking about being together long term)?
That's a lot of months to spend with someone with no goal in mind. My bf & I have been together for 2 years now, but the topic of marriage definitely came up before 8 months. Neither of us are ready financially yet, but if we were, we would already be married.
@Bobby Rubarb 8 months aside, he just don't deserve this girl, even as a gf who hasn't thought of getting married yet
It's cheaper to get married right the first time instead of getting married and then divorced a few years later. You could owe this "man" alimony.
@@JuancoPRoFlow it's only really worth it if you want kids. You have a better shot at a more stable family unit if neither party can just pick up and leave.
You don't get out of child support anyways whether or not you're married. At least when there is a divorce the separation, custody, and child support is done at once.
Unmarried couples, it's a rolling disaster with custody and support tackled... Whenever.
@@JuancoPRoFlow it’s second and third marriages that drive the divorce rates.
You guys are counting those who get divorced, how about the ones that won't divorce even though they are miserable and have tons of debt so no point in splitting up, successfull marriages is probably 10% of total marriages
@@bathombre9739 that’s a good point. My in-laws are miserable. I’ve seen it first hand.
I know a few people like this. They are indulgent.. and don't see anything wrong with taking advantage of others. There's a saying that goes... if you are a giving person, you better have boundaries. Because the takers don't have any!
When you finally do try to put boundaries in place the person suddenly sees you as cold and mean. Not a fun place to be.
As a person that spent 4 years of their life with a person that had no ambition or drive. They will become an anchor you're trying to drag into your own future. Just end it they will be miserable with you as well because you're not on the same level.
Unemployed for nine months? Don't walk away, run!
yep. Unemployed that long says they aren't even trying.
There must be a lot of jobs out there, I am over 70 and was joking around in a store about looking for a job, 5 people offered me jobs in construction, paying from 18. to 35. dollars an hour.
And they’ve been together for eight of them... 🙀
Ladies,
If you know the type of man you see yourself with and the man you are dating is a deal breaker. Let him go
NEVER settle. If its a problem now, it'll be a ticking time bomb later. He needs to grow so let him go and you better yourself and wait patiently until the right man comes around.
Don't comfort your lust just to say you have a man.
This applies to man too.
"Ladies, If you know the type of man you see yourself with and the man you are dating is a deal breaker, let him go. Never settle. If it's a problem now, it will be a ticking time bomb later. He needs to go, so let him go. You better yourself and wait patiently until the right man comes around. Do not comfort your lust, just to say you have a man. This applies to men too."
@@wewhoareabouttodiesaluteyo9303 why did you copy the exact word of what I wrote?
@Dee lol
@Dee please be considerate / respectful. I'm still learning how to maneuver thru TH-cam, also.
Been there, done that, got the tshirt and gave this place in life a 1/10 on Yelp 😂 cut that boy loose girl. Run and never look back!
are you single? :)
@@cutehumor engaged actually! 😊
Doesn't sound like he's bringing anything to the relationship. She'd be better off without having to take care of another adult. If you're doing well by yourself, why would you choose to let someone else take away from that? Bottom line: he is not worth it.
Listen to your gut.
🙌🏽
She really knows the answer. She just needs to hear it from someone else. They’re not in sync. They’re not ready to move onto something more committed.
OMG! I just needed to hear the first part and knew right away that she needs to quickly get out of that relationship. They gave her good advice and she needs to take it. She was smart enough to ask so I have faith that she’ll be smart enough to listen.
As they say in reference to submarines, run silent, run deep, run fast, BUT RUN!!!
“Choosing a financial partner, moving toward marriage.” That’s hot.
You both need to be on the same page with financial mind set.. this stooge is buying the most expensive thing on the menu when he's got zero income ? Alot of marriages end cause of financial issues
Smoking hot...
Seriously lol. Was thinking the same thing
Its a more pragmatic approach but at least she knows what she wants
At 6:40 that was deep and not many people will look into themselves. Good way to evaluate your situations in life.
Run for your life. He is looking for a mommy.
Red flags... don't ignore them. They will never change.
Potential is NEVER a reason to get married. Patterns would be a better reason.
Run! You don’t want to be trying to de-tangle from this situation in your forties.
You can tell that Dave is a great father.
I have a friend that likes to order the most expensive thing who never seems to have money to pay for his food.
The part about ordering the most expensive menu item is just about every woman I’ve ever dated, but never married.
Imagine ordering high end stakes only when someone else is paying 😂😂
Run for the hills I have been married for over 25 years, he will not change!!!
He’s more likely to grow up if you walk. And know that he’s going to try to make it hard to leave.
Hi ArtLen. How is your health and weather today??
@@robertlogan6340 I am doing great health-wise and the weather is nice too. How about you? By the way, are you aware that Jesus Christ loves you very much and deeply cares about you and you need Him? Please give Jesus a chance to love you unconditionally as your Lord and personal Savior ❤️♥️
Chris has the best voice of all time
Putting caller in situation of talking to their child is a very interesting perspective, and 1 that really sheds light on other aspects of life. Thanks for sharing this 1 fellas
Its hard to be with a man you don't respect. She don't respect him, but he don't deserve respect.
The boyfriend is wanting a sugar momma, walk away less headaches.
Women do this all the time what's new here...
Men are welling to subsedize the women's lives. In this case, the woman clearly doesn't that's why
@@tasneemahmed5821 yes you are correct 👏
In a dating relationship? I'd advise a man to run away from a woman doing that as well. In a marriage relationship, often it's because the woman sacrifices career to raise the family.
@@chitrumbo112 feminism at its finest...
Seems like a lot of guys out there today are like this. Parents need to teach their sons to be independent.
Agreed and lets hope those same parents teach women to be wives
What would this girl find attractive about a guy like that? It's honestly baffling.
Women enjoy struggling.
@@chrisreynolds6391 they sure do they love the drama 🙄 they always date loosers and bad boys and want a simp around 25+ after they have had their fun.
It could be he's handsome, charming, fun to be around ... people can be attracted to opposite of themselves. Often why some women want the 'bad boy' -- he can be exciting. The 'good guy' who is steady, reliable, responsible can be 'boring.' All of us can be our own worst enemy when it comes to who we're attracted to.
@@betz6507 correct could have not said it any better then that...
Yah I think opposites attract can be true. But you want to be attracted to someone who compliments you, not a liability.
My fiancé is a driven, task oriented/action type. He’s decisive. But he’s not a bad boy... he’s a handsome dork who loves to play military board games for fun. He’s stable, reliable, and funny. I am a strategic, creative type and can be indecisive. But I am also loyal and am a researcher. I concoct the plan, he’s great at activating. If it’s just me, I may stall. If it’s just him; he usually does something not very wise. But together we are better and will be more successful.
Such great advice in this segment...wish I had you both in my late 20’s
Run Girl Run!!!! Get that thing out of your life. He should be making your life better not getting himself pulled along with your effort.
Run, seems like a goober.
Hogan's face at 0:49. Open and shut case, my friends 👏
Lots of financial issues stem from psychological issues, this guy needs to grow up.
Stevie, RUN! My sister and I missed those red flags!
*dave heard “this individual”
Dave: beans and rice, sell the boyfriend
lol he’s not the one
If she decides to put him in the friend zone, hopefully, she'll also think about creating promissory notes. Because, he'll start asking for money, next.
Yep. I don't think she should keep him around - period! He doesn't sound like a friend, or boyfriend material.
Don't get married until he gets finances together. If he continues to be reckless, then dump the guy. His problems will be become your problem once married.
I wouldn’t recommend waiting for him to get his finances together. That may never happen. They haven’t even been together a year and he lacks motivation. There’s little hope he will suddenly find motivation, at least not long term. Maybe if faced with an ultimatum, he could maintain short term motivation. She needs to kick him to the curb
I hope she has spoke with him about her issues? Its possible he doesn't know she feel this way. I think they should talk and get on the same page! and if he doesn't see things like her they can part as friends. Best of luck to the caller!
Sounds like an entitlement/maturity thing on his part. Recipe for future financial problems. You can do better, kiddo.
“Stop collecting red flags” - I don’t remember who said this
Steve Harvey! Love that quote.
My great grandmother would say in her thick South Carolinian accent "Stick to your equal!" Same here for Stevie. This "individual" is not her equal.
If you even have to ask, I got news for you...
When it comes to relationships, 6 out of 10 people are losers. And 3 out of the remaining 4 while still winners often lack the social skills or simply the will to come off as well as some of the losers. The other 1 out of 10, the true magnates of the world, are snatched up very quickly as soon as they are willing to settle down.
I think he’s very immature. I also know men who order the most expensive items (as well as extra alcoholic beverages) on the menu when they are not paying. I would never date anyone who does this. She sounds smart, she knows she should ditch this dude.
Run! Life is to short to wait for a man to try and decide if he wants to work. No desire to support a man that isn't motivated.
These are red flags. Run....
Run....dont walk away from what would completely drag you down...eventually you'll be supporting him and listening to his excuses as to why you are.
Going on little information here but he’s sounds incredibly immature especially in relation to her. It doesn’t make him a bad guy but she’s moving in a different direction or she wants to drive in a faster lane.
Its unfortunate I am not the only one have relationship issues, but im glad she got solid advice from dave and chris
Those flags are legit, he gotta go...
Yes, Trust. Your. Conscience. 💯 When there's something that doesn't sit well with you, don't ignore it, address it. I commend her for turning her attention to this and great answers from these g.o.a.t.s!
She’s young minded. I don’t miss that at all.
I miss it every day!!! It's so much fun!!!
BeastSlayer14 I miss my youth, but I don’t miss my stupid decisions and actions.
She's got sense, though, so she does atleast question this. She's smart enough to know she desires a FINANCIAL partner too.
@@cutenobi 👍
That wonderful age of 25 when everyone is in a rush to get married and look successful by the age of 30. So many ladies make terrible decisions due to this because they think their shelf life/fertility is gone after that.
Girl RUN NOW.
When you choose your partner, you choose your future.
Run, don’t walk away
If he's not trying now that won't improve once he "owns you!" RUN!
Hi Rick Mineer. I hope you are safe and doing well in these uncertain days??
Doing fine. Took two weeks off between jobs, otherwise worked through this whole pandemic, and every economic up and down and adminstration since Carter. Sure, I own a mobile home, but comfortable and only paid 4k for it and lot rent is relatively cheap in Phoenix. Two vehicles, paid for, 401k continues to grow and have money in the CU. Healthy and still working at 61, TG, and will continue without worry about retirement.
The key is NO DEBT!
@@rdmineer1 That’s not bad to hear and glad you are doing fine.. Well I live in Ca and how about yourself, where do you live??
@@rdmineer1 Ok cool!!
Yeah. Girl you need to respect yourself and leave. My ex (when I was young and stupid) was exactly the same way. I loved him but I couldn't bring myself to truly respect someone who wasn't responsible.
you don't earn money , you buy expensive stuff on your partners money as a human being......the other person should run!
Run and don’t look back lol
At about the 6:00 minute mark, Dave's 3rd admonition is the best!
Wife will be the mother, and husband will be the child.
The unmotivated NEVER turn into motivated. Seen examples of this over & over.
From what you say... Run
And from what we hear... RUN !!!