I had a hard time understanding the difference between forgiveness and hurt. I have forgiven many but I was still hurting. I had it mixed up that I really couldn’t forgive. And so, I had to ask God to help heal the pain and restore me back to happiness. Also, keep in mind, the Opposer will make you THINK you haven’t forgiven someone just because your feelings are hurt. We are made in the Lord’s image and we have emotions just like He does! He just don’t want us to become judgemental and neither does He want us to harbor any bitterness. Imagine being a bitter Christian ! I’m sure we all can attest to that! 😅 Keep fighting the fine fight! Love you all endlessly! ❤
This is big. Thank you. Very relevant for some hurt I’m feeling right now where I confronted the offender and was met with more lies / side stepping. As a result I couldn’t even proceed to the stage where I verbally extended forgiveness. I’ve been dwelling on it for a week feeling anxiety and asking God to truly let me forgive. In fact I think I have extended my forgiveness in my heart but am still just feeling hurt. Great point. God bless you.
@@harrisonwood5705Hey Brother! I’m so happy I was able to help! I posted that a year ago! Please release that bitterness. I have learned that God is in control and vengeance is His. When we become upset, we have to remember God IS GOD! He will handle the matter. Trust Him. Lots of love! ❤
I do forgive those who've wronged me but some people are constant in their wrongs and unrepentant in their words and actions...I forgive but I am not a punching bag either, I just domt hang around that certain person, whenever I do come around I have no I'll will towards anyone....the problem with all this is if you stick around long enough alot of people will start wronging again and again which is why I dont stick around for long....living a private life is neccesary sometimes
Forgive means you no longer expect a debt repaid, no longer desiring payback. The additional concept recconcilliation which is unnessecary if they no-longer owe one anything.
Yes that's what I do. Not hanging out with the certain person has given me a great deal of relief. However I can't help but think about how married people have to stick by their spouse and continue to forgive them even when they want to leave. Being together with the same person for a long time surely will heat things up.
@bibilon1981 calm down brother. Did you miss ForangeGardeners point. He/She is just letting you know the format of your comment is written as if you forgive BUT not really. They're just letting you know the after is call reconciliation. So you should forgive and that's it. Reconciliation is different and this video is forgiveness. If you reconcile with others 3 times but then give up the 4th that's something we must pray for. We must not expect people to act "right" but pray.
I now forgive and let go . The hurt has been a strong hold . Even though he is not sorry and takes no responsibility for what he has done to me . My reactions to sin was wrong , but I truly did love or it would not have hurt so bad . I want to see Jesus face .
Our own hearts are so desperately wicked and deceitful, there will be times where we think we have been wronged but have not, and so in that situation there is no wrong apart from our own which we are blind to. How wonderful to have a God, who not only forgives the sins we confess and are aware but also the ones we have no clue about. Christ surely is our righteousness.
I don’t need someone to say they are sorry for me to feel justified because they acknowledge what they have done. I don’t expect an apology. I always want to make sure though, if I do anything wrong that *I* apologize. I can’t control their behaviour, I can only control mine…🇨🇦
Dear God, in times where I am at a crossroad in my life, I ask that you will give me the counsel that will help me make the right decision. I do not desire to go in the way that is not pleasing to you, Lord. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen Shalom.⚠️💯🚦💤🚭✅
This is very hard. Because I actually live with someone who is not sorry for what they did and still doing it. It got so bad this person chose to avoid me. To be honest I really could care less but I do want to make sure I am secure with GOD in forgiving them yet still have boundaries. I will not allow them to keep crossing it let alone their deliberate effort to cross it without any conviction
However, it's strange that GOD literally told me "I forgive you'. No forgiving him was required for GOD to forgive me, unless, I have already forgiven him and confusing it with allowing him back into my heart.
@@sonofjesus1464 You are right... You can forgive in your heart in that you release the anger, hatred and desire to get even. But you are right to keep strong boundaries until they apologize sincerely and confess and repent. Having a readiness to forgive is one thing, but reconciliation and full restoration is something more and it depends on their making things right.
I have often said that allowing me to marry my dream girl was proof that God loves me. The proof that God wants to miraculously transform me into the likeness of His Son is that my wife's mother also came into my life as part of the deal.
I really am not looking for a fight, but I think this is important. I am not sure just how forgiveness got unlinked from repentance but I hear this idea quite a lot anymore and not just in Christian circles. While it is common, it seems to me to be both wrong and dangerous. Forgiveness is not about letting go of your inner bitterness or anger or hurt. It is not a catharsis. It is about cancelling a legitimate debt. It seems to me that if I forgive someone who does not acknowledge that what he or she did was wrong, that there was any debt owed, and is not asking for my forgiveness, I am in essence telling them that what they did is right and that it is okay with me if they do it to me again or to someone else. I am condoning sin and even evil. Furthermore asking me to do so is asking me to be “better” and more forgiving than God since it is my understanding that God strongly links forgiveness of our sins to being a response to our repentance from those sins. Of course what I think is hardly authoritative so let’s look at what Jesus and the apostles had to say about it. The key passage seems to be the 70 times 7 saying of Jesus in Matthew 18:21-22 that Joe mentioned. “Then came Peter to him and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Til seven times? Jesus said unto him I say not seven times but seventy times seven.” Well at first glance there does not appear to be anything tying repentance as a precondition to forgiveness in those two verses, but that is because we are not looking at the verses in context. First Peter did not pick seven out of thin air. He is referring to a similar teaching Jesus said in Luke 17:3-4. “Take heed to yourselves; if your brother trespass against thee, rebuke (or confront) him; and IF HE REPENTS, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven in a day and seven times in a day turn again to you saying, I repent, you must forgive him.” Well that is pretty clear and specific. In order to receive or merit your forgiveness, the “trespasser” MUST admit his or her fault, determine to change their behavior and ASK your forgiveness just as we must repent and ask God’s forgiveness. IF they do that, THEN we must forgive them - seven times or 490 or 49,000, but not before. So why didn’t Jesus say it that explicitly in Matthew? Well the answer is he did. A) Peter already was referring to the teaching we just looked at in Luke and they both knew that and Jesus just upped the number to drive the point home to Peter who was being stubborn and looking for loopholes. B) If you look directly above Mat 18: 21-22 in verses 15 -18 we see Jesus had just finished explaining his teaching on the Church discipline procedures that I was referring to and which is also alluded to in the Luke passage which makes it quite clear that our forgiveness of the “trespasser” is not to be given until he admits the error of his ways, even if that means tossing him out of the church. We may view this today as harsh but it is way milder than Moses’ repeated insistence in Deuteronomy that we stone them or the Pope’s plan to burn Martin Luther at the stake for disobedience. Not doing this has caused the disorder and evil we find in our churches today. C) Jesus’ answer to Peter did not end with verse 22. He continues his answer by telling a parable in the rest of the chapter, verses 22-35, stressing the importance of forgiveness but definitely not leaving out the importance of ASKING for forgiveness. In verse 25, the king who clearly represents God does not just forgive his servant’s debt out of hand, in fact he sends out his enforcers to drag the guy in and he is about to sell the servant and his family into slavery until in verse 26 the debtor humbles himself, admits his fault, and begs mercy and a little time (not even forgiveness). Then and only then does the king wipe his debt clean. In verse 29 the first servant’s debtor begs similar mercy and is not only not forgiven but not even given the time extension he asked for. It is the failure to extend mercy AFTER repentance and after the mercy he received from the king that gets the first servant in trouble. We see the same principle in the parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-32, a great story of God’s forgiveness. The father never quit loving his son but we often miss that the forgiveness and restoration of that son did not occur until he came to his senses and repented and humbled himself and asked forgiveness. In verses 18-19 the prodigal says “I will arise and go to my father and will say unto him, Father I have sinned against heaven and before, and I am not worthy to be called your son. Make me as one of your hired men.” Then and only then does he receive mercy. The Father did not chase him down and drag him back while he was being a jackass; He waited until he was repentant to restore him. Someone brought up Luke 23:24 where Jesus says from the cross “Father forgive them for they know not what they do,” but this is a special case and clearly refers when you look at the surrounding verses directly to the Roman soldiers who were crucifying Him and quite literally had no guilt because they literally did not know what they were doing. As Gentiles they had no reason to know that they were killing God; they were just doing their duty as soldiers. You cannot repent what you do not know is wrong in the first place. Since our forgiveness of others is supposed to be a mirror to the world of how God forgives us, if we make a practice of forgiving the unrepentant, who deliberately wrong us, we teach the world that there is no need to repent in order to receive forgiveness -either ours or God’s. This is very bad doctrine and leads to “easy believe” salvation which does not work. John in 1John 1:8-10 says “If we say we have no sin (are unrepentant) we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins (repent), He is faithful to and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned (do not repent), we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.“ Repentance is a vitally important part of God’s plan of salvation through faith in Jesus as Lord, God, Savior and Sacrifice. Without it there is no salvation. John the Baptist yelled Repent til he lost his head. Jesus’ teaching was the same. Mat 4:17, Mark 1:15, and Luke 13:3-5 - “Except you repent, you shall all perish.” There is no blanket forgiveness without repentance. In Luke 24:46-47 the resurrected Jesus says as he is giving last instructions before ascending into heaven: “Thus it is written and thus it behoved Messiah to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day; and that repentance and remission of sins (Forgiveness) be preached among all the nations.” Peter carries on the message of repentance as necessary for receiving forgiveness in Acts 2:38 at Pentecost “Repent …for the remission of sins.” In the Temple Acts 3:19 “Repent ye therefore and be converted, that your sins be blotted out (Forgiven).” To Simon Magus in Acts 8:22 “Repent therefore of your wickedness and pray God if PERHAPS the thought of your heart may be forgiven you.” Jesus, John the Baptist, John the apostle, and Peter thought this repenting stuff was awful important. Maybe we should too. John (not the apostle or Baptist)
But then the scriptures also says to love your enemies and to freely give even as we have freely received. As far as the Lord teaching us that we have to practice church discipline, it is for the sake of faith and purity not as a teaching on forgiveness. A brother or sister unrepentant of a wrong may corrupt a churches thinking and therein cause great anguish. But in 2 Corinthians the apostle Paul says to forgive the brother that had erred least he be overcome by much sorrow. Lastly when Peter calls them to repent he says believe on Christ Jesus for remission of sins. Our repentance is not in turning from sin it is in believing in Jesus who washes us from our sin and gives us the true life. God would have us always do what Jesus did to those Romans because every man who does not believe has never known God including the scribes and Pharisees.
@@xavierthomas5835 100% wrong. Loving our enemies has nothing to do with forgiveness. You can and should care about someone even if they are not repentant and because you care you insist that they change their behavior before receiving forgiveness. Church Discipline IS partially for purity of the congregation but moreso to bring the sinning party to repentance and settle disputes within the body - that is the real goal. Read Mat 18:15-35v again. You are way off base, 2 Cor 2 only applies after the party HAS repented otherwise he remains excommunicated Mat 18:17 As for Peter that is 100% wrong again. I take it you are a Calvinist. What the passage says is clear unless you are blinded by false teaching. 1) Repent from your sinning ways. 2) Accept God (1 and 2 are together) 3) If you do 1 and 2 Jesus will forgive or remit the punishment for your sins. As for the Roman soldiers again you must be insane. Take off the Calvin glasses. Jesus forgave them not for their general sins but for the sin of crucufying him which they did innocently. The scribes and Pharisees died in their sins and went to Hell unforgiven, because they never repented. You sir are doing there too because you do not understand the gospel and appear to think that somehow Jesus forgave while unrepentant and thus never repented. Just beleiveing Jesus is God is NOT enough - the demons believe that much and at least tremble. James 2:19
@John Breitmeier - your post is EXACTLY the conclusion I came to after reading through the NT looking specifically at what it really said about forgiveness!! Forgiveness always hinges upon repentance! I don't know where the concept of "you must forgive no matter what" or "unconditional forgiveness" came from, but it seems to be prevalent in the Christian church. But it's totally NOT biblical. This is an important teaching to get right because SOOOOO MANY people who have been hurt, wounded, harmed, damaged, abused, etc.... then get doubly abused by being beaten upside the head by people condemning them for not simply forgiving and being fine.....all the while the perpetrator skips away scott-free. It wasn't until I read through the NT that I was finally free from the bondage of being told I "had" to forgive people who were abusive and unrepentant. Great comments of yours!
@@maxspringer01 Yes, Max, this false and harmful teaching has crept in fairly recently. I am old enough in the faith to remember when no pastor taught this nonsense. This is demonic. You are right that in doubles down on the abused. It also does nothing to change the behavior of the abuser for the better. One might almost think that God knows best. Glad you found your way to the truth. I hope more do.
Aloha, I have read so many of these comments, I think some clarification is needed. A lot of great points here. Rather than share my past pains, where so many have wronged me. I will say, that I have been the victim too many times, by people I love. Instead, what I will share is very simple. This is what I have said to those that hurt me... "I have chosen to forgive, freeing myself from the role of your accuser, and freeing you from the sins against me." However, my forgiveness doesn't guarantee anything. You still face a choice. God teaches us through experience. That's the essence of free choice-it leads us to choose our path. But what is the choice? God's way or our own best guess. I pray you get Jesus in your life, and find your way to heaven, where all pain is washed away. Freeing myself from the role of accuser, is extremely healing, enough to transcend all the pain, all the suffering. Also, I am blessed in all things, without a thought of who or how I have been hurt, the peace of mind is priceless. Best wishes to all.
Jesus' words were as a minister of the old covenant. He revealed our inability and need for a savior. The cross inaugurated the new covenant, and changed everything. "Forgive one another, as God, in Christ, HAS forgiven you".
Don’t forget repentance is needed before forgiveness. The condition of the church today is so sad all because Christians are so caught up with forgiveness, don’t judge, etc. I have heard so many messages that we should forgive because God forgave us, but there is no mentioning that there must be sincere repentance first so that we can live in harmony. Please don’t leave out repentance. Jesus used the word repentance over and over and over again. If someone has wrong you badly or sinned against you don’t forgive unless there is repentance, the burden should never be on the victim but on the person who committed the wrong doing or sin. Remember God will never let anyone into heaven unless there is sincere repentance to Jesus Christ and trusting Him as their savior. No wonder so many believe that entering heaven is for everyone it’s because they only know of forgiveness but not the doctrine of repentance. No repentance equals no entrance into Heaven. Teach repentance first then comes forgiveness. Never ever forgive if there is no repentance, because God won’t, “unless you repent, Jesus said”.
If someone doenst want to accet they are wrong and wanna play dumb. iiiiiiii say i KNOW what they did, i will keep this as knowledge of their ways and i will guard my self from them... in the future. Let GOD repay them for their actions.
@@petros-estin-petra- Mark 11:25 (NASB95): 25 “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions.
@@petros-estin-petra- Where does it say in Mark 11:25 they must repent first? Mark 11:25 says: “forgive, if you have anything against ANYONE.” Brother, that would include unrepentant sinners. Forgiveness has two sides of it. One side is to forgive them and release any debt you have against them, and the other side is to grant forgiveness that results in reconciliation-this second portion requires true repentance on their end. It’s all about our heart posture toward the debtor. We must love them and forgive them in order to release ourselves of any I’ll will toward them.
@@ShepherdMinistry I agree with you that you should be always _ready_ to forgive. No matter how many times someone asks you for forgiveness, you should always grant it. Just like our Father in Heaven forgives us. Forgiveness is Holy. But again, if someone doesn't repent and doesn't ask for forgiveness, you are casting your pearls before swine and fueling up his sinful behavior, if you forgive an unrepentant sinner. Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and *if he repents, forgive him.* And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him. Luke 17:3-4 LSB The Bible consists of more than just a few cherry picked verses. We must understand it in its entire context.
My question from this is: what does that forgiveness looks like? Gods forgiveness of us results in undeserved trust and relationship with him. If we are asked to forgive AS he forgives us, should that then result in a repaired relationship and trust? I feel that some people use boundaries as a disguise for unforgiveness, and on the flip side they DON’T set boundaries when there should be healthy boundaries in place. How can we make our forgiveness look like Gods forgiveness of us?
Forgiving doesn't necessarily mean a repair of relationship. God doesn't repair relationships with those who don't seek him but he forgives them. This goes the same for us. It takes two willing beings to make a partnership. We can't have a relationship with those who don\t apologize (repent); same as God. We can forgive though, despite whether that relationship is restored or repaired now, later or never.
This is a very good question... We are to forgive others as God forgives and God forgives us when we admit and confess and repent... 1John 1:9. To grant them forgiveness without their apology is meaningless and not helpful to them at all. On the other hand, on our own we should have a willingness or readiness to forgive like Pastor John described. We can and should release our right to get even, our desire for vengeance, or our anger or hatred if it is there. But restoration or reconciliation will depend on them being sorry, asking for forgiveness and showing that by making amends. The Bible talks about all of this as well.
But God forgives you when you repent hence the door for relationship is open. The question is should a person who has not repented of their wrong doing be forgiven?
@@canadamama3450 This is false. Christ cried out from the cross “forgive them” in the very middle of their apostasy. Forgiveness precedes repentance. Christ was the lamb slain before the foundation of the world.
What does "blessing" someone mean? Replacing my negative responses with positive ones (return good for evil) makes sense.. but what does blessing mean? How do I do that?
Just a question, we all believers who come to Christ are cut off from sinful Nature colocias 2:11 and when i don't forgive somebody u saying that i Will lose salvation? What about Efesios 1:13 . Is si confusing the salvation is not for works efesion 2:8,9 I think we justo need to diveded as dispensation does
How would these verse be explained>? Luke 17:3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. Luk 17:4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.
Forgiveness depends only on the person's willingness to forgive. If you want to forgive someone, there's nothing preventing you to. The one who wronged you may even be unaware that they have been forgiven by you.
I believe that everyone deserves forgiveness but that doesnt mean that along with that forgiveness we are going to throw out justice.....I mean I'm not vengeful but many Christian's nowadays do not even confront sin which is like giving others a ticket to hell, I believe you need to stand your ground and fight your battles but always with the intention of reconciliation...this doesn't mean everyone deserves to be a part of your life because some people are just toxic but it means that you hold no ill will towards anyone
Decoupling forgiveness from repentance is dangerous and wrong. I hear this a lot and wrote something with scriptures I will attach: I really am not looking for a fight, but I think this is important. I am not sure just how forgiveness got unlinked from repentance but I hear this idea quite a lot anymore and not just in Christian circles. While it is common, it seems to me to be both wrong and dangerous. Forgiveness is not about letting go of your inner bitterness or anger or hurt. It is not a catharsis. It is about cancelling a legitimate debt. It seems to me that if I forgive someone who does not acknowledge that what he or she did was wrong, that there was any debt owed, and is not asking for my forgiveness, I am in essence telling them that what they did is right and that it is okay with me if they do it to me again or to someone else. I am condoning sin and even evil. Furthermore asking me to do so is asking me to be “better” and more forgiving than God since it is my understanding that God strongly links forgiveness of our sins to being a response to our repentance from those sins. Of course what I think is hardly authoritative so let’s look at what Jesus and the apostles had to say about it. The key passage seems to be the 70 times 7 saying of Jesus in Matthew 18:21-22 that Joe mentioned. “Then came Peter to him and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Til seven times? Jesus said unto him I say not seven times but seventy times seven.” Well at first glance there does not appear to be anything tying repentance as a precondition to forgiveness in those two verses, but that is because we are not looking at the verses in context. First Peter did not pick seven out of thin air. He is referring to a similar teaching Jesus said in Luke 17:3-4. “Take heed to yourselves; if your brother trespass against thee, rebuke (or confront) him; and IF HE REPENTS, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven in a day and seven times in a day turn again to you saying, I repent, you must forgive him.” Well that is pretty clear and specific. In order to receive or merit your forgiveness, the “trespasser” MUST admit his or her fault, determine to change their behavior and ASK your forgiveness just as we must repent and ask God’s forgiveness. IF they do that, THEN we must forgive them - seven times or 490 or 49,000, but not before. So why didn’t Jesus say it that explicitly in Matthew? Well the answer is he did. A) Peter already was referring to the teaching we just looked at in Luke and they both knew that and Jesus just upped the number to drive the point home to Peter who was being stubborn and looking for loopholes. B) If you look directly above Mat 18: 21-22 in verses 15 -18 we see Jesus had just finished explaining his teaching on the Church discipline procedures that I was referring to and which is also alluded to in the Luke passage which makes it quite clear that our forgiveness of the “trespasser” is not to be given until he admits the error of his ways, even if that means tossing him out of the church. We may view this today as harsh but it is way milder than Moses’ repeated insistence in Deuteronomy that we stone them or the Pope’s plan to burn Martin Luther at the stake for disobedience. Not doing this has caused the disorder and evil we find in our churches today. C) Jesus’ answer to Peter did not end with verse 22. He continues his answer by telling a parable in the rest of the chapter, verses 22-35, stressing the importance of forgiveness but definitely not leaving out the importance of ASKING for forgiveness. In verse 25, the king who clearly represents God does not just forgive his servant’s debt out of hand, in fact he sends out his enforcers to drag the guy in and he is about to sell the servant and his family into slavery until in verse 26 the debtor humbles himself, admits his fault, and begs mercy and a little time (not even forgiveness). Then and only then does the king wipe his debt clean. In verse 29 the first servant’s debtor begs similar mercy and is not only not forgiven but not even given the time extension he asked for. It is the failure to extend mercy AFTER repentance and after the mercy he received from the king that gets the first servant in trouble. We see the same principle in the parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-32, a great story of God’s forgiveness. The father never quit loving his son but we often miss that the forgiveness and restoration of that son did not occur until he came to his senses and repented and humbled himself and asked forgiveness. In verses 18-19 the prodigal says “I will arise and go to my father and will say unto him, Father I have sinned against heaven and before, and I am not worthy to be called your son. Make me as one of your hired men.” Then and only then does he receive mercy. The Father did not chase him down and drag him back while he was being a jackass; He waited until he was repentant to restore him. Someone brought up Luke 23:24 where Jesus says from the cross “Father forgive them for they know not what they do,” but this is a special case and clearly refers when you look at the surrounding verses directly to the Roman soldiers who were crucifying Him and quite literally had no guilt because they literally did not know what they were doing. As Gentiles they had no reason to know that they were killing God; they were just doing their duty as soldiers. You cannot repent what you do not know is wrong in the first place. Since our forgiveness of others is supposed to be a mirror to the world of how God forgives us, if we make a practice of forgiving the unrepentant, who deliberately wrong us, we teach the world that there is no need to repent in order to receive forgiveness -either ours or God’s. This is very bad doctrine and leads to “easy believe” salvation which does not work. John in 1John 1:8-10 says “If we say we have no sin (are unrepentant) we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins (repent), He is faithful to and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned (do not repent), we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.“ Repentance is a vitally important part of God’s plan of salvation through faith in Jesus as Lord, God, Savior and Sacrifice. Without it there is no salvation. John the Baptist yelled Repent til he lost his head. Jesus’ teaching was the same. Mat 4:17, Mark 1:15, and Luke 13:3-5 - “Except you repent, you shall all perish.” There is no blanket forgiveness without repentance. In Luke 24:46-47 the resurrected Jesus says as he is giving last instructions before ascending into heaven: “Thus it is written and thus it behoved Messiah to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day; and that repentance and remission of sins (Forgiveness) be preached among all the nations.” Peter carries on the message of repentance as necessary for receiving forgiveness in Acts 2:38 at Pentecost “Repent …for the remission of sins.” In the Temple Acts 3:19 “Repent ye therefore and be converted, that your sins be blotted out (Forgiven).” To Simon Magus in Acts 8:22 “Repent therefore of your wickedness and pray God if PERHAPS the thought of your heart may be forgiven you.” Jesus, John the Baptist, John the apostle, and Peter thought this repenting stuff was awful important. Maybe we should too. John (not the apostle or Baptist)
How to deal with people in church who keeps on wronging you but doesn't admit their mistakes? The debtor in the bible story admitted their mistake, but it's a real struggle when the debtor doesn't admit their mistake and justifying themselves... 😢
If it's really bad stuff then the church should have them under discipline (divorce, cheating, abuse, scammers, overt slander etc) For small issues I would say most likely yes
So we allow someone to continue to hurt us over and over again? I feel a lot of pain over a relative who has hurt me and continues. I don’t feel as much unforgiveness as much as hurt. They will never admit wrongdoing.
How do we forgive somebody that has done us wrong as in taking almost all our belongings by breaking into our house damaging our doors time to come again but we don't know who how do we forgive them
How do I forgive them, not only have they never asked forgiveness or apologized, they outright deny it too and up to this day they won't change their ways.
Pray asking God to help you to forgive them. By forgiving them, that is doing your loving part. To have forgiveness that results in restoration, there must be true repentance from the debtor.
To get this straight, I am to forgive someone who will not admit they sinned against me, therefore cannot ask me to forgive them, and no matter how many times the sin against me in the future I am to forgive or lose my soul? Yet Jesus will not forgive my sins unless I CONFESS my sins, ASK him for forgiveness, and not commit the sin in the future. So am i to be more forgiving than Jesus? Thats asking more of me than I am capable.
Christ forgave the men who crucified him while hanging on the cross, despite the fact that He never received an apology from them. You are called to do likewise.
@@Webbgurl2000 Yes, but because we do or don't accept it doesn't change that it is there for the taking. There are really two aspects to this. Spiritual forgiveness that takes place in our hearts that God sees, and then the physical forgiveness between us and the person who has repented. Forgiveness is done before it is asked for. I agree though, the recipient can't bask in the forgiveness until they approach the one they have wronged and repented, but the one who was wronged must have forgiveness for that person in their heart before the person even seeks them to repent. (Think of the father of the prodigal son or Joseph with his brothers) Scripture says if we do not forgive men on earth, our Father will not forgive us in heaven. I agree, repentance is necessary for the earthly forgiveness. Jesus said in Luke 17, IF YOUR BROTHER REPENT, FORGIVE HIM. And Jesus said something very interesting in John 20 after leaving us the Holy Spirit. He said if we forgive anyone, they are forgiven. But if we don't forgive them...they are not forgiven. Very interesting.
@@kingdomcitizenship5613 No dude you got it backwards. Forgiveness always comes AFTER repentance. I get asked this a lot and and put together a Biblical answer below.: I really am not looking for a fight, but I think this is important. I am not sure just how forgiveness got unlinked from repentance but I hear this idea quite a lot anymore and not just in Christian circles. While it is common, it seems to me to be both wrong and dangerous. Forgiveness is not about letting go of your inner bitterness or anger or hurt. It is not a catharsis. It is about cancelling a legitimate debt. It seems to me that if I forgive someone who does not acknowledge that what he or she did was wrong, that there was any debt owed, and is not asking for my forgiveness, I am in essence telling them that what they did is right and that it is okay with me if they do it to me again or to someone else. I am condoning sin and even evil. Furthermore asking me to do so is asking me to be “better” and more forgiving than God since it is my understanding that God strongly links forgiveness of our sins to being a response to our repentance from those sins. Of course what I think is hardly authoritative so let’s look at what Jesus and the apostles had to say about it. The key passage seems to be the 70 times 7 saying of Jesus in Matthew 18:21-22 that Joe mentioned. “Then came Peter to him and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Til seven times? Jesus said unto him I say not seven times but seventy times seven.” Well at first glance there does not appear to be anything tying repentance as a precondition to forgiveness in those two verses, but that is because we are not looking at the verses in context. First Peter did not pick seven out of thin air. He is referring to a similar teaching Jesus said in Luke 17:3-4. “Take heed to yourselves; if your brother trespass against thee, rebuke (or confront) him; and IF HE REPENTS, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven in a day and seven times in a day turn again to you saying, I repent, you must forgive him.” Well that is pretty clear and specific. In order to receive or merit your forgiveness, the “trespasser” MUST admit his or her fault, determine to change their behavior and ASK your forgiveness just as we must repent and ask God’s forgiveness. IF they do that, THEN we must forgive them - seven times or 490 or 49,000, but not before. So why didn’t Jesus say it that explicitly in Matthew? Well the answer is he did. A) Peter already was referring to the teaching we just looked at in Luke and they both knew that and Jesus just upped the number to drive the point home to Peter who was being stubborn and looking for loopholes. B) If you look directly above Mat 18: 21-22 in verses 15 -18 we see Jesus had just finished explaining his teaching on the Church discipline procedures that I was referring to and which is also alluded to in the Luke passage which makes it quite clear that our forgiveness of the “trespasser” is not to be given until he admits the error of his ways, even if that means tossing him out of the church. We may view this today as harsh but it is way milder than Moses’ repeated insistence in Deuteronomy that we stone them or the Pope’s plan to burn Martin Luther at the stake for disobedience. Not doing this has caused the disorder and evil we find in our churches today. C) Jesus’ answer to Peter did not end with verse 22. He continues his answer by telling a parable in the rest of the chapter, verses 22-35, stressing the importance of forgiveness but definitely not leaving out the importance of ASKING for forgiveness. In verse 25, the king who clearly represents God does not just forgive his servant’s debt out of hand, in fact he sends out his enforcers to drag the guy in and he is about to sell the servant and his family into slavery until in verse 26 the debtor humbles himself, admits his fault, and begs mercy and a little time (not even forgiveness). Then and only then does the king wipe his debt clean. In verse 29 the first servant’s debtor begs similar mercy and is not only not forgiven but not even given the time extension he asked for. It is the failure to extend mercy AFTER repentance and after the mercy he received from the king that gets the first servant in trouble. We see the same principle in the parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-32, a great story of God’s forgiveness. The father never quit loving his son but we often miss that the forgiveness and restoration of that son did not occur until he came to his senses and repented and humbled himself and asked forgiveness. In verses 18-19 the prodigal says “I will arise and go to my father and will say unto him, Father I have sinned against heaven and before, and I am not worthy to be called your son. Make me as one of your hired men.” Then and only then does he receive mercy. The Father did not chase him down and drag him back while he was being a jackass; He waited until he was repentant to restore him. Someone brought up Luke 23:24 where Jesus says from the cross “Father forgive them for they know not what they do,” but this is a special case and clearly refers when you look at the surrounding verses directly to the Roman soldiers who were crucifying Him and quite literally had no guilt because they literally did not know what they were doing. As Gentiles they had no reason to know that they were killing God; they were just doing their duty as soldiers. You cannot repent what you do not know is wrong in the first place. Since our forgiveness of others is supposed to be a mirror to the world of how God forgives us, if we make a practice of forgiving the unrepentant, who deliberately wrong us, we teach the world that there is no need to repent in order to receive forgiveness -either ours or God’s. This is very bad doctrine and leads to “easy believe” salvation which does not work. John in 1John 1:8-10 says “If we say we have no sin (are unrepentant) we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins (repent), He is faithful to and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned (do not repent), we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.“ Repentance is a vitally important part of God’s plan of salvation through faith in Jesus as Lord, God, Savior and Sacrifice. Without it there is no salvation. John the Baptist yelled Repent til he lost his head. Jesus’ teaching was the same. Mat 4:17, Mark 1:15, and Luke 13:3-5 - “Except you repent, you shall all perish.” There is no blanket forgiveness without repentance. In Luke 24:46-47 the resurrected Jesus says as he is giving last instructions before ascending into heaven: “Thus it is written and thus it behoved Messiah to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day; and that repentance and remission of sins (Forgiveness) be preached among all the nations.” Peter carries on the message of repentance as necessary for receiving forgiveness in Acts 2:38 at Pentecost “Repent …for the remission of sins.” In the Temple Acts 3:19 “Repent ye therefore and be converted, that your sins be blotted out (Forgiven).” To Simon Magus in Acts 8:22 “Repent therefore of your wickedness and pray God if PERHAPS the thought of your heart may be forgiven you.” Jesus, John the Baptist, John the apostle, and Peter thought this repenting stuff was awful important. Maybe we should too. John (not the apostle or Baptist)
@@johnbreitmeier3268 If a person doesn't forgive someone until that individual asks for forgiveness, then there are alot of Christians that will leave this earth with alot of unforgiveness in their hearts towards alot of people lol. C'mon brother, you've intellectualized scripture FAR too much. It is the goodness of God that leads one to repentance, no sinner can come to that conclusion on their own. Let the spirit guide you and you will know that we love only because He first loved us. All Christ did was heal people and FORGIVE their sins before they even knew Him or repented. And what often followed was their repentance ( or change of mind). Jesus forgave the paralytic that was lowered through the roof before he repented, he healed the invalid man by the pool before he repented, Stephan forgave the people who stoned him WHILE they were stoning him (no repentance there). You contradicted yourself in so many of your examples; I'm not going to even address those. But the point is forgiveness is very important to God. So much so, that he made plans in the garden to rectify the situation and redeem his creation that was lost to sin at the fall. Only his Son's perfect death could pay the price to forgive the world of it's sin. And he loved us enough to do that before anyone could repent. So you mean to tell me, you can't find forgiveness in your heart for people that wrong you unless they ask for your forgiveness first? Pray on this one brother and the spirit will show you otherwise.
I have a bit of a dilemma. I have a neighbor who, several years ago, I spent lots of time sharing Christ with her. I believed she had converted after a few months of that. She went to her church and bible study. I didn't just hang out with her as I had a busy life and not interested in socializing much the way she and her husband tend to do which involves lots of drinking, gossip and gross humor. She later said to me that she totally believes in karma and made reference to the circle of life stuff, etc. At that point, I just wasn't up for informing her again of the error of her beliefs. My heart was mostly in the mode of "let her believe whatever she wants. Lord, she's yours". She and her husband have had us to dinner a few times, but I always feel uncomfortable as she berates her husband in front of other people, is toxic and negative and broadcasts her pain to anyone who will listen, has hatred to her mother and sister, etc. I've counseled her that her expectations of others may be too high and other ways of helping her like reading the Word, trusting God, etc.. My husband and I were invited recently to dinner, and we keep turning them down. My husband wants to go. I don't. I'm just done with all of it. I forgive her, but no words like those expressed Matthew 18:15-17 would work I believe. She is fragile and would crumble. I'm not in her church. She's offensive to most people. I guess I am concerned I'm not forgiving her. Its more a matter of not wanting to stumble in her presence and not feed into her extreme drama. It's not healthy or fruitful. I know I would help her if she had a real need that arose. But, she just wants to cry and vomit on others. Am I forgiving?
Candice Casey no, you have not. It sounds like you detest this woman. Perhaps your expectations of others are too high. Spiritual beliefs aside, because it is ok to have different opinions, your issue with this lady goes beyond. Have personal boundaries. Try not to council if you can’t muster compassion and understanding. If she feels toxic to your well being forgive her and gently decline interaction. Forgive yourself before trying to forgive her.
Candice, I’ve had a similar situation with my older sister. She has always belittled me growing up, I was naive and took her jabs. She moved away for 10 years, we had little communication over that time, she assumed me to be the same when she returned. She was homeless, my brother gave her his 2nd home to live in for free, we all helped her anyway we could. I filled her refrigerator, cleaned the house before she moved in, gave her a job and then she began to tell family lies about me. She is a narcissist, has tried to commit suicide over 4 times in the past, has taken medication most of her life for depression and anxiety. She sees a psychiatrist on a regular basis. The last time I saw her was our mother‘s 84th birthday party. I was cordial to her but her evil glares made me decide that was enough. I decided then that I would no longer allow myself to be in her presence or drug down by her. She had twisted every conversation we had in the past, she bullied me to the point that I cannot & will not allow myself to be in a room with her. Have I forgiven her? Absolutely! I have simply guarded my eyes and ears from her abusive actions towards me and no longer give her ANY communication so that she can use it as ammunition against me. The Bible is clear when it says that we should Guard our eyes and ears. Whether someone is family or not, we are not expected to take abuse in any form so as to look as if we are being forgiving and loving towards that person. There comes a time when we have done all we can do, as you clearly have with your neighbor. We then have to separate ourselves or the enemy will use that person to drag us to THEIR level. There comes a time we have to let go and let God complete the work we’ve begun.
Matthew 5:44 “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” The Bible doesn’t say you need to hang out with our enemies, just to pray for them. :) Proverbs 20:19 “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.”
Demonically Passive This Princeple unfortunately does not work in a court of law The act of forgiveness some times can assure the abuser and Add more grief to the victim - in that forgiveness is similar to self mutilation - not good
Please help! The Bible says if we do not forgive.God wil not forgive us. OK.Here is my question. If I didn't forgive some people for years. If I now forgive them and confess with my mouth that I now forgive everyone I ever had difficulty forgiving. Will God now forgive me?????? Or is it too late
In Matthew 18, Christ says that we must forgive our brother "from the heart." To forgive someone is not a formula that we can recite from our mouth. It is a disposition of the heart. You must let go of the pain and hurt.
"Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, *rebuke him* ; and if he *repents* , forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘ *I repent* ,’ you shall forgive him.”" Luke 17:3-4 NKJV “Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces. Matthew 7:6 NKJV
Christ forgave the men who crucified him while hanging on the cross, despite the fact that He never received an apology from them. You are called to do likewise.
Um ..the prescription is that they repent ..there is no forgiveness without repentance..not from abba..so why would he expect us to forgive the unrepentant if he himself being love doesn't? Ezekiel 18-19
My exwife that was my wife try to have me kill three times. But each plot fail. The FBI is on the case, but don’t want to say she sorry . So I have live by the pain of trying to forgive. We even have daughters, she try to kill the father of her children
Then you have done your part as a Christian. It's like passing the ball on the court. Once you pass it, it is not longer on your hands to worry about it.
How could someone who believes in eternal security teach that you can lose your salvation 🤦 He literally says at some point in this recording that you can lose your salvation all the while claiming he believes in eternal security ? You go figure 🤷♂️
I find religious discourse so bizarre I must say. What kind of God would forgive us only on the condition that we first forgave others? That's a vision of a God that would be equal or smaller to man surely? If his forgiveness and love was unending, why would he be interested in holding anyone to a test? That's a genuine question if anyone would like to answer.
Through Jesus Christ, God forgives us of MANY sins. If God could forgive us of so much sin and wickedness, we should be able to show love and mercy and forgiveness to other people who sin against us. We can't recieve God's forgiveness and show unforgiveness to others
This is why i think Jesus told us we should forgive others. Because God showed us love, mercy and forgiveness, i think he wants us to show the same thing to other people
Wow this is a great question, you’ve put into words exactly what I was thinking. I had to soak that in for a bit. Recently I’ve found it impossible to forgive some people, especially if they never seem to change or acknowledge that they are wrong. I had a close friend who mistreated me for years and I still have nightmares about it every other night, even though I am no longer around this person. So technically, according to Matthew 6:15, “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” So because I can’t forgive this person that would mean that God won’t forgive me. Obviously I don’t measure up to His standards, because I literally can’t forgive this certain person even though I want to. God’s conditions are simply too severe for me to meet, even though I know they are ideal. But so I was praying and this is what I’ve found so far: The first step of fixing a problem is realizing there is a problem. I have to acknowledge that wrong is wrong. I think I overstayed that situation with my friend since I overlooked evil by justifying it for the other person and acting like it was okay. This was not loving of me to my friend or to myself. Love takes no pleasure in evil but delights in truth. Now that I know there is a problem, I also needed to know that I have to forgive and I know it’s the right thing to do. Now that I know how I should respond, I had to fight to want to do the right thing and not retaliate, because obviously I’m frustrated and deeply wounded. But even if I don’t want anything to do with my friend anymore I want to be good with my God and I know that He won’t forgive me if I’m not good with my friend. So I had to choose to forgive. However upon trying to forgive, I realize that I can’t and my heart is not in it and bitterness had taken over because of how long I was in denial and the temptation to blame one another is super real. So this was a consequence of sinful nature in my friend and myself. This is where I had to separate myself and seriously turn to God for help because I want to do the right thing but I can’t on my own. This is when I realized that Holy Spirit helps us forgive also, it’s not a feeling that can be forced but after praying I have peace and perspective, I have a supernatural peace, the pain is gone, and feel like I’ve forgiven this person. The nightmares go and I actually had sweet dreams about this friend instead. It’s only when I start falling into the temptation of blame or fear that the nightmares come back, but I just pray and ask Holy Spirit for help and the hurt goes away. Now that the hurt is gone, I can genuinely follow Jesus’s response in saying I forgive them for they know not what they do, and pray for them also. This further helps relieve the hurt and it is how we can fulfill Gods condition of forgiving others. In doing so I find that I am also being freed from the burden of offense. Thanks for asking, this was super eye opening. Hopefully I passed this test because I know there are more offenses to come. “It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.” (Luke 17:1-4) Now that the plank is out of my eye, confronting my friend would be the most loving thing to do in this situation, since I can see clearly and would not be responding in bitterness. However I no longer feel the need to, but am ready to do so if the opportunity should ever present itself. Prior to forgiving my friend it would have been me seeking retaliation and being judgmental and probably would’ve turned into this big fight, but now that I’ve forgiven this friend I can point out what my friend is doing wrong in gentleness and love. What my friend does with what I say is up to my friend, I can’t force my friend to change as love does not insist on it’s own way either. Though my friend may continue to repeat the same offenses with others, I can pray for my friend like Jesus said to do, and that is how we forgive others. Though God’s commands are impossible to do on our own strength, they are good and possible when we trust in His Spirit to help us. At the end of the day asking Him for help is what it means to believe in Him, to acknowledge that we aren’t enough and that we need Him. John 3:16
Here is a better question: Am I required to forgive someone, repeatedly, when they refuse to repent? Rhetorical question. I know we are to love our enemies...love includes forgiveness. Interesting topic. Especially when you contrast this with God's ways and requirements. He will ONLY forgive if we first forgive AND repent. We are held to a higher standard. He made the rules and I love Him. I used to question this, but no longer. Praise Jesus.
When Christ died on the cross, that was God saying we are forgiven. Repentance is saying you understand you were wrong and you want to do better. Its not that the Father expects more from us it is that he expects us to give others what he gave us.
@@xavierthomas5835 no It wasn't saying that we were forgiven. We HAVE TO repent to be forgiven, so does anyone else who expects to be forgiven. Do not twist the word of god.
@@petros-estin-petra- Jesus died for you, even when you weren't there. Did you believe then, or were you sorry for your sins? He had already died, and loved, and lived on this earth for a generation hidden from this world. He forgave you even when you were going to sin anyways. You sin yet still, though he has forgiven you. How then shall you escape condemnation if you hold unforgiveness and hatred in your heart against those who refuse to repent and have no heart to it?
@@xavierthomas5835 You're arguing with your heart and mind, so be careful about that. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart And *do not lean on your own understanding* ." Proverbs 3:5 NASB2020 "The *heart is deceitful* above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?" Jeremiah 17:9 KJV I rather stick to the bible: "Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, *rebuke him* ; and if he *repents* , forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘ *I repent* ,’ you shall forgive him.”" Luke 17:3-4 NKJV "Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces." Matthew 7:6 NKJV Forgiveness is holy. Do not waste what is holy.
@@petros-estin-petra- Forgive and you shall be forgiven. If you don't forgive, you shall not be forgiven. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; Matthew 5:44That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. Matthew 5:45For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? Matthew 5:46And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? Matthew 5:47Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. Matthew 5:48 He spends the entire last part of Matthew talking about doing good to people who hate you and do you wrong. He speaks about loving your enemies, people who have actively done you wrong. It isn't about my heart, bit the word of God IN my heart. And my emotions come from God, being angry or sincere or happy don't make me a fool.
This is horribly convoluted and messy. Here's the answer... You have control over you and you can make the decision to forgive and ask Jesus to help you if you need help. If you actually WANT to forgive someone, it's a personal decision and they aren't involved. If they do not acknowledge the need to be forgiven or claim they have done nothing wrong or belittle what they have done to you, they are not saved. A saved person would be aware of themselves and have the conviction of the Holy Spirit to deal with.. If they were truly saved, they wouldn't have done ANY of those things to you. So what do you do then? You pray for our Lord Jesus to create the conditions in their life that brings them to Him. You pray for their salvation and recognize they are lost. The lost need help, not condemnation. Sometimes people need to be shaken up to recognize they are lost and sometimes you are the one doing the shaking but leave this one to Jesus and focus on your work for Him, not reconciliation of your pain from them. Jesus handles that... You now work for Jesus so focus on what you can do for Him, not yourself.
![แฟนแนวใด๋ - ยูริ โตเกียวมิวสิค [ SyncVersion ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Fm8oDwos2uc/mqdefault.jpg)
I had a hard time understanding the difference between forgiveness and hurt. I have forgiven many but I was still hurting. I had it mixed up that I really couldn’t forgive. And so, I had to ask God to help heal the pain and restore me back to happiness.
Also, keep in mind, the Opposer will make you THINK you haven’t forgiven someone just because your feelings are hurt. We are made in the Lord’s image and we have emotions just like He does! He just don’t want us to become judgemental and neither does He want us to harbor any bitterness. Imagine being a bitter Christian ! I’m sure we all can attest to that! 😅
Keep fighting the fine fight! Love you all endlessly! ❤
This is big. Thank you. Very relevant for some hurt I’m feeling right now where I confronted the offender and was met with more lies / side stepping. As a result I couldn’t even proceed to the stage where I verbally extended forgiveness. I’ve been dwelling on it for a week feeling anxiety and asking God to truly let me forgive. In fact I think I have extended my forgiveness in my heart but am still just feeling hurt. Great point. God bless you.
@@harrisonwood5705Hey Brother! I’m so happy I was able to help! I posted that a year ago!
Please release that bitterness. I have learned that God is in control and vengeance is His. When we become upset, we have to remember God IS GOD! He will handle the matter. Trust Him.
Lots of love! ❤
God is a just judge. Someone can act dumb all they want, but god will make justice to them giving them the punishment they deserve.
I do forgive those who've wronged me but some people are constant in their wrongs and unrepentant in their words and actions...I forgive but I am not a punching bag either, I just domt hang around that certain person, whenever I do come around I have no I'll will towards anyone....the problem with all this is if you stick around long enough alot of people will start wronging again and again which is why I dont stick around for long....living a private life is neccesary sometimes
Forgive means you no longer expect a debt repaid, no longer desiring payback.
The additional concept recconcilliation which is unnessecary if they no-longer owe one anything.
@@ForageGardener I know what forgiveness is, did you miss my point
Yes that's what I do. Not hanging out with the certain person has given me a great deal of relief. However I can't help but think about how married people have to stick by their spouse and continue to forgive them even when they want to leave. Being together with the same person for a long time surely will heat things up.
@@rhiko7 I'm married, it isn't easy but the longer you stick around the more you grow as a person and the relationship becomes deeper too
@bibilon1981 calm down brother. Did you miss ForangeGardeners point. He/She is just letting you know the format of your comment is written as if you forgive BUT not really. They're just letting you know the after is call reconciliation. So you should forgive and that's it. Reconciliation is different and this video is forgiveness. If you reconcile with others 3 times but then give up the 4th that's something we must pray for. We must not expect people to act "right" but pray.
Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison hoping the other person will get sick
my son was murdered, fuck justice, i should love the monster who bragged about it in court, fuck you and your "not forgiving is like..." bullshit
@@InitialPC Forgive him... Love him... and also kill him...
Matthew 6:15
Fear the Lord
God loves and hates that man who did that; Do the same.
How is willingly drinking poison and being wronged by someone and suffering from it even remotely similar?
@@saracen8441 holding a grudge hurts the grudge holder
@@DynamicGracer No it does not. It just recognizes that evil is evil.
I now forgive and let go . The hurt has been a strong hold . Even though he is not sorry and takes no responsibility for what he has done to me . My reactions to sin was wrong , but I truly did love or it would not have hurt so bad . I want to see Jesus face .
Hugs.
Our own hearts are so desperately wicked and deceitful, there will be times where we think we have been wronged but have not, and so in that situation there is no wrong apart from our own which we are blind to. How wonderful to have a God, who not only forgives the sins we confess and are aware but also the ones we have no clue about. Christ surely is our righteousness.
I don’t need someone to say they are sorry for me to feel justified because they acknowledge what they have done. I don’t expect an apology. I always want to make sure though, if I do anything wrong that *I* apologize. I can’t control their behaviour, I can only control mine…🇨🇦
I forgive others for me to free me from unnecessary pain and misery.
Super powerful, thank you. ✞💜🕊
❤ This was a great pod cast MJ! Thanks for sending it to me.
Dear God, in times where I am at a crossroad in my life, I ask that you will give me the counsel that will help me make the right decision. I do not desire to go in the way that is not pleasing to you, Lord. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen Shalom.⚠️💯🚦💤🚭✅
Exemplary & Blessed response.....! Amen!
This is very hard. Because I actually live with someone who is not sorry for what they did and still doing it. It got so bad this person chose to avoid me. To be honest I really could care less but I do want to make sure I am secure with GOD in forgiving them yet still have boundaries. I will not allow them to keep crossing it let alone their deliberate effort to cross it without any conviction
However, it's strange that GOD literally told me "I forgive you'. No forgiving him was required for GOD to forgive me, unless, I have already forgiven him and confusing it with allowing him back into my heart.
@@sonofjesus1464 You are right... You can forgive in your heart in that you release the anger, hatred and desire to get even. But you are right to keep strong boundaries until they apologize sincerely and confess and repent. Having a readiness to forgive is one thing, but reconciliation and full restoration is something more and it depends on their making things right.
Yes. I have for give but he doesn't care because God bless us all the time AMEN
I have often said that allowing me to marry my dream girl was proof that God loves me. The proof that God wants to miraculously transform me into the likeness of His Son is that my wife's mother also came into my life as part of the deal.
I really am not looking for a fight, but I think this is important. I am not sure just how forgiveness got unlinked from repentance but I hear this idea quite a lot anymore and not just in Christian circles. While it is common, it seems to me to be both wrong and dangerous. Forgiveness is not about letting go of your inner bitterness or anger or hurt. It is not a catharsis. It is about cancelling a legitimate debt. It seems to me that if I forgive someone who does not acknowledge that what he or she did was wrong, that there was any debt owed, and is not asking for my forgiveness, I am in essence telling them that what they did is right and that it is okay with me if they do it to me again or to someone else. I am condoning sin and even evil. Furthermore asking me to do so is asking me to be “better” and more forgiving than God since it is my understanding that God strongly links forgiveness of our sins to being a response to our repentance from those sins. Of course what I think is hardly authoritative so let’s look at what Jesus and the apostles had to say about it.
The key passage seems to be the 70 times 7 saying of Jesus in Matthew 18:21-22 that Joe mentioned. “Then came Peter to him and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Til seven times? Jesus said unto him I say not seven times but seventy times seven.” Well at first glance there does not appear to be anything tying repentance as a precondition to forgiveness in those two verses, but that is because we are not looking at the verses in context. First Peter did not pick seven out of thin air. He is referring to a similar teaching Jesus said in Luke 17:3-4. “Take heed to yourselves; if your brother trespass against thee, rebuke (or confront) him; and IF HE REPENTS, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven in a day and seven times in a day turn again to you saying, I repent, you must forgive him.” Well that is pretty clear and specific. In order to receive or merit your forgiveness, the “trespasser” MUST admit his or her fault, determine to change their behavior and ASK your forgiveness just as we must repent and ask God’s forgiveness. IF they do that, THEN we must forgive them - seven times or 490 or 49,000, but not before.
So why didn’t Jesus say it that explicitly in Matthew? Well the answer is he did. A) Peter already was referring to the teaching we just looked at in Luke and they both knew that and Jesus just upped the number to drive the point home to Peter who was being stubborn and looking for loopholes. B) If you look directly above Mat 18: 21-22 in verses 15 -18 we see Jesus had just finished explaining his teaching on the Church discipline procedures that I was referring to and which is also alluded to in the Luke passage which makes it quite clear that our forgiveness of the “trespasser” is not to be given until he admits the error of his ways, even if that means tossing him out of the church. We may view this today as harsh but it is way milder than Moses’ repeated insistence in Deuteronomy that we stone them or the Pope’s plan to burn Martin Luther at the stake for disobedience. Not doing this has caused the disorder and evil we find in our churches today. C) Jesus’ answer to Peter did not end with verse 22. He continues his answer by telling a parable in the rest of the chapter, verses 22-35, stressing the importance of forgiveness but definitely not leaving out the importance of ASKING for forgiveness. In verse 25, the king who clearly represents God does not just forgive his servant’s debt out of hand, in fact he sends out his enforcers to drag the guy in and he is about to sell the servant and his family into slavery until in verse 26 the debtor humbles himself, admits his fault, and begs mercy and a little time (not even forgiveness). Then and only then does the king wipe his debt clean. In verse 29 the first servant’s debtor begs similar mercy and is not only not forgiven but not even given the time extension he asked for. It is the failure to extend mercy AFTER repentance and after the mercy he received from the king that gets the first servant in trouble.
We see the same principle in the parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-32, a great story of God’s forgiveness. The father never quit loving his son but we often miss that the forgiveness and restoration of that son did not occur until he came to his senses and repented and humbled himself and asked forgiveness. In verses 18-19 the prodigal says “I will arise and go to my father and will say unto him, Father I have sinned against heaven and before, and I am not worthy to be called your son. Make me as one of your hired men.” Then and only then does he receive mercy. The Father did not chase him down and drag him back while he was being a jackass; He waited until he was repentant to restore him.
Someone brought up Luke 23:24 where Jesus says from the cross “Father forgive them for they know not what they do,” but this is a special case and clearly refers when you look at the surrounding verses directly to the Roman soldiers who were crucifying Him and quite literally had no guilt because they literally did not know what they were doing. As Gentiles they had no reason to know that they were killing God; they were just doing their duty as soldiers. You cannot repent what you do not know is wrong in the first place.
Since our forgiveness of others is supposed to be a mirror to the world of how God forgives us, if we make a practice of forgiving the unrepentant, who deliberately wrong us, we teach the world that there is no need to repent in order to receive forgiveness -either ours or God’s. This is very bad doctrine and leads to “easy believe” salvation which does not work. John in 1John 1:8-10 says “If we say we have no sin (are unrepentant) we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins (repent), He is faithful to and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned (do not repent), we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.“
Repentance is a vitally important part of God’s plan of salvation through faith in Jesus as Lord, God, Savior and Sacrifice. Without it there is no salvation. John the Baptist yelled Repent til he lost his head. Jesus’ teaching was the same. Mat 4:17, Mark 1:15, and Luke 13:3-5 - “Except you repent, you shall all perish.” There is no blanket forgiveness without repentance. In Luke 24:46-47 the resurrected Jesus says as he is giving last instructions before ascending into heaven: “Thus it is written and thus it behoved Messiah to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day; and that repentance and remission of sins (Forgiveness) be preached among all the nations.” Peter carries on the message of repentance as necessary for receiving forgiveness in Acts 2:38 at Pentecost “Repent …for the remission of sins.” In the Temple Acts 3:19 “Repent ye therefore and be converted, that your sins be blotted out (Forgiven).” To Simon Magus in Acts 8:22 “Repent therefore of your wickedness and pray God if PERHAPS the thought of your heart may be forgiven you.” Jesus, John the Baptist, John the apostle, and Peter thought this repenting stuff was awful important. Maybe we should too.
John (not the apostle or Baptist)
But then the scriptures also says to love your enemies and to freely give even as we have freely received. As far as the Lord teaching us that we have to practice church discipline, it is for the sake of faith and purity not as a teaching on forgiveness. A brother or sister unrepentant of a wrong may corrupt a churches thinking and therein cause great anguish. But in 2 Corinthians the apostle Paul says to forgive the brother that had erred least he be overcome by much sorrow. Lastly when Peter calls them to repent he says believe on Christ Jesus for remission of sins. Our repentance is not in turning from sin it is in believing in Jesus who washes us from our sin and gives us the true life.
God would have us always do what Jesus did to those Romans because every man who does not believe has never known God including the scribes and Pharisees.
@@xavierthomas5835 100% wrong. Loving our enemies has nothing to do with forgiveness. You can and should care about someone even if they are not repentant and because you care you insist that they change their behavior before receiving forgiveness.
Church Discipline IS partially for purity of the congregation but moreso to bring the sinning party to repentance and settle disputes within the body - that is the real goal. Read Mat 18:15-35v again. You are way off base,
2 Cor 2 only applies after the party HAS repented otherwise he remains excommunicated Mat 18:17
As for Peter that is 100% wrong again. I take it you are a Calvinist. What the passage says is clear unless you are blinded by false teaching. 1) Repent from your sinning ways. 2) Accept God (1 and 2 are together) 3) If you do 1 and 2 Jesus will forgive or remit the punishment for your sins.
As for the Roman soldiers again you must be insane. Take off the Calvin glasses. Jesus forgave them not for their general sins but for the sin of crucufying him which they did innocently. The scribes and Pharisees died in their sins and went to Hell unforgiven, because they never repented. You sir are doing there too because you do not understand the gospel and appear to think that somehow Jesus forgave while unrepentant and thus never repented. Just beleiveing Jesus is God is NOT enough - the demons believe that much and at least tremble. James 2:19
@John Breitmeier - your post is EXACTLY the conclusion I came to after reading through the NT looking specifically at what it really said about forgiveness!! Forgiveness always hinges upon repentance! I don't know where the concept of "you must forgive no matter what" or "unconditional forgiveness" came from, but it seems to be prevalent in the Christian church. But it's totally NOT biblical. This is an important teaching to get right because SOOOOO MANY people who have been hurt, wounded, harmed, damaged, abused, etc.... then get doubly abused by being beaten upside the head by people condemning them for not simply forgiving and being fine.....all the while the perpetrator skips away scott-free. It wasn't until I read through the NT that I was finally free from the bondage of being told I "had" to forgive people who were abusive and unrepentant. Great comments of yours!
@@maxspringer01 Yes, Max, this false and harmful teaching has crept in fairly recently. I am old enough in the faith to remember when no pastor taught this nonsense. This is demonic. You are right that in doubles down on the abused. It also does nothing to change the behavior of the abuser for the better. One might almost think that God knows best. Glad you found your way to the truth. I hope more do.
Aloha,
I have read so many of these comments, I think some clarification is needed.
A lot of great points here.
Rather than share my past pains, where so many have wronged me. I will say, that I have been the victim too many times, by people I love.
Instead, what I will share is very simple.
This is what I have said to those that hurt me...
"I have chosen to forgive, freeing myself from the role of your accuser, and freeing you from the sins against me."
However, my forgiveness doesn't guarantee anything.
You still face a choice.
God teaches us through experience.
That's the essence of free choice-it leads us to choose our path.
But what is the choice?
God's way or our own best guess.
I pray you get Jesus in your life, and find your way to heaven, where all pain is washed away.
Freeing myself from the role of accuser, is extremely healing, enough to transcend all the pain, all the suffering.
Also, I am blessed in all things, without a thought of who or how I have been hurt, the peace of mind is priceless.
Best wishes to all.
Jesus' words were as a minister of the old covenant. He revealed our inability and need for a savior. The cross inaugurated the new covenant, and changed everything. "Forgive one another, as God, in Christ, HAS forgiven you".
Commenting just based on the title and have not listened yet. "I can do all things though Christ, who strengthens me" (Phillipians 4:13)
Yes, because it's you God is dealing with and not the other person or maybe not at the same time.
Forgiveness is not meant to be debatable.
the other person doesn't know any better because they don't have Christ. they have the spirit of satan.
Certain things you can't forgive, im sure others agree, yes forgiveness is good but depending on the situation
Is this why the bible says that theres a time to love and a time to hate?
Don’t forget repentance is needed before forgiveness. The condition of the church today is so sad all because Christians are so caught up with forgiveness, don’t judge, etc. I have heard so many messages that we should forgive because God forgave us, but there is no mentioning that there must be sincere repentance first so that we can live in harmony. Please don’t leave out repentance. Jesus used the word repentance over and over and over again. If someone has wrong you badly or sinned against you don’t forgive unless there is repentance, the burden should never be on the victim but on the person who committed the wrong doing or sin. Remember God will never let anyone into heaven unless there is sincere repentance to Jesus Christ and trusting Him as their savior. No wonder so many believe that entering heaven is for everyone it’s because they only know of forgiveness but not the doctrine of repentance. No repentance equals no entrance into Heaven. Teach repentance first then comes forgiveness. Never ever forgive if there is no repentance, because God won’t, “unless you repent, Jesus said”.
If someone doenst want to accet they are wrong and wanna play dumb. iiiiiiii say i KNOW what they did, i will keep this as knowledge of their ways and i will guard my self from them... in the future. Let GOD repay them for their actions.
I have forgiven an unrepentant relative. But they remain in denial. I avoid them.
Don't forgive who doesn't repent. If they're unwilling to repent or listen, then just LEAVE.
Anything else is unbiblical.
@@petros-estin-petra- Mark 11:25 (NASB95): 25 “Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions.
@@ShepherdMinistry Yes, IF they repent. Read Luke 17. Does God forgive you If you don't repent? So why should you then?
@@petros-estin-petra- Where does it say in Mark 11:25 they must repent first? Mark 11:25 says: “forgive, if you have anything against ANYONE.” Brother, that would include unrepentant sinners.
Forgiveness has two sides of it. One side is to forgive them and release any debt you have against them, and the other side is to grant forgiveness that results in reconciliation-this second portion requires true repentance on their end.
It’s all about our heart posture toward the debtor. We must love them and forgive them in order to release ourselves of any I’ll will toward them.
@@ShepherdMinistry I agree with you that you should be always _ready_ to forgive. No matter how many times someone asks you for forgiveness, you should always grant it. Just like our Father in Heaven forgives us. Forgiveness is Holy.
But again, if someone doesn't repent and doesn't ask for forgiveness, you are casting your pearls before swine and fueling up his sinful behavior, if you forgive an unrepentant sinner.
Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and *if he repents, forgive him.* And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.
Luke 17:3-4 LSB
The Bible consists of more than just a few cherry picked verses. We must understand it in its entire context.
My question from this is: what does that forgiveness looks like? Gods forgiveness of us results in undeserved trust and relationship with him. If we are asked to forgive AS he forgives us, should that then result in a repaired relationship and trust? I feel that some people use boundaries as a disguise for unforgiveness, and on the flip side they DON’T set boundaries when there should be healthy boundaries in place. How can we make our forgiveness look like Gods forgiveness of us?
Forgiving doesn't necessarily mean a repair of relationship. God doesn't repair relationships with those who don't seek him but he forgives them. This goes the same for us. It takes two willing beings to make a partnership. We can't have a relationship with those who don\t apologize (repent); same as God. We can forgive though, despite whether that relationship is restored or repaired now, later or never.
This is a very good question... We are to forgive others as God forgives and God forgives us when we admit and confess and repent... 1John 1:9. To grant them forgiveness without their apology is meaningless and not helpful to them at all.
On the other hand, on our own we should have a willingness or readiness to forgive like Pastor John described.
We can and should release our right to get even, our desire for vengeance, or our anger or hatred if it is there. But restoration or reconciliation will depend on them being sorry, asking for forgiveness and showing that by making amends. The Bible talks about all of this as well.
But God forgives you when you repent hence the door for relationship is open. The question is should a person who has not repented of their wrong doing be forgiven?
@@nohandlerequired3607 He doesn’t forgive those who do not seek Him or repent.
@@canadamama3450 This is false. Christ cried out from the cross “forgive them” in the very middle of their apostasy. Forgiveness precedes repentance. Christ was the lamb slain before the foundation of the world.
What does "blessing" someone mean? Replacing my negative responses with positive ones (return good for evil) makes sense.. but what does blessing mean? How do I do that?
I understand WHY I should forgive. The question is HOW?
Just a question, we all believers who come to Christ are cut off from sinful Nature colocias 2:11 and when i don't forgive somebody u saying that i Will lose salvation? What about Efesios 1:13 . Is si confusing the salvation is not for works efesion 2:8,9
I think we justo need to diveded as dispensation does
How would these verse be explained>?
Luke 17:3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him.
Luk 17:4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.
It means, don't forgive who doesn't repent. Don't cast pearls before swine, don't give what is holy to dogs.
Forgiveness depends only on the person's willingness to forgive. If you want to forgive someone, there's nothing preventing you to. The one who wronged you may even be unaware that they have been forgiven by you.
I believe that everyone deserves forgiveness but that doesnt mean that along with that forgiveness we are going to throw out justice.....I mean I'm not vengeful but many Christian's nowadays do not even confront sin which is like giving others a ticket to hell, I believe you need to stand your ground and fight your battles but always with the intention of reconciliation...this doesn't mean everyone deserves to be a part of your life because some people are just toxic but it means that you hold no ill will towards anyone
Decoupling forgiveness from repentance is dangerous and wrong. I hear this a lot and wrote something with scriptures I will attach:
I really am not looking for a fight, but I think this is important. I am not sure just how forgiveness got unlinked from repentance but I hear this idea quite a lot anymore and not just in Christian circles. While it is common, it seems to me to be both wrong and dangerous. Forgiveness is not about letting go of your inner bitterness or anger or hurt. It is not a catharsis. It is about cancelling a legitimate debt. It seems to me that if I forgive someone who does not acknowledge that what he or she did was wrong, that there was any debt owed, and is not asking for my forgiveness, I am in essence telling them that what they did is right and that it is okay with me if they do it to me again or to someone else. I am condoning sin and even evil. Furthermore asking me to do so is asking me to be “better” and more forgiving than God since it is my understanding that God strongly links forgiveness of our sins to being a response to our repentance from those sins. Of course what I think is hardly authoritative so let’s look at what Jesus and the apostles had to say about it.
The key passage seems to be the 70 times 7 saying of Jesus in Matthew 18:21-22 that Joe mentioned. “Then came Peter to him and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Til seven times? Jesus said unto him I say not seven times but seventy times seven.” Well at first glance there does not appear to be anything tying repentance as a precondition to forgiveness in those two verses, but that is because we are not looking at the verses in context. First Peter did not pick seven out of thin air. He is referring to a similar teaching Jesus said in Luke 17:3-4. “Take heed to yourselves; if your brother trespass against thee, rebuke (or confront) him; and IF HE REPENTS, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven in a day and seven times in a day turn again to you saying, I repent, you must forgive him.” Well that is pretty clear and specific. In order to receive or merit your forgiveness, the “trespasser” MUST admit his or her fault, determine to change their behavior and ASK your forgiveness just as we must repent and ask God’s forgiveness. IF they do that, THEN we must forgive them - seven times or 490 or 49,000, but not before.
So why didn’t Jesus say it that explicitly in Matthew? Well the answer is he did. A) Peter already was referring to the teaching we just looked at in Luke and they both knew that and Jesus just upped the number to drive the point home to Peter who was being stubborn and looking for loopholes. B) If you look directly above Mat 18: 21-22 in verses 15 -18 we see Jesus had just finished explaining his teaching on the Church discipline procedures that I was referring to and which is also alluded to in the Luke passage which makes it quite clear that our forgiveness of the “trespasser” is not to be given until he admits the error of his ways, even if that means tossing him out of the church. We may view this today as harsh but it is way milder than Moses’ repeated insistence in Deuteronomy that we stone them or the Pope’s plan to burn Martin Luther at the stake for disobedience. Not doing this has caused the disorder and evil we find in our churches today. C) Jesus’ answer to Peter did not end with verse 22. He continues his answer by telling a parable in the rest of the chapter, verses 22-35, stressing the importance of forgiveness but definitely not leaving out the importance of ASKING for forgiveness. In verse 25, the king who clearly represents God does not just forgive his servant’s debt out of hand, in fact he sends out his enforcers to drag the guy in and he is about to sell the servant and his family into slavery until in verse 26 the debtor humbles himself, admits his fault, and begs mercy and a little time (not even forgiveness). Then and only then does the king wipe his debt clean. In verse 29 the first servant’s debtor begs similar mercy and is not only not forgiven but not even given the time extension he asked for. It is the failure to extend mercy AFTER repentance and after the mercy he received from the king that gets the first servant in trouble.
We see the same principle in the parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-32, a great story of God’s forgiveness. The father never quit loving his son but we often miss that the forgiveness and restoration of that son did not occur until he came to his senses and repented and humbled himself and asked forgiveness. In verses 18-19 the prodigal says “I will arise and go to my father and will say unto him, Father I have sinned against heaven and before, and I am not worthy to be called your son. Make me as one of your hired men.” Then and only then does he receive mercy. The Father did not chase him down and drag him back while he was being a jackass; He waited until he was repentant to restore him.
Someone brought up Luke 23:24 where Jesus says from the cross “Father forgive them for they know not what they do,” but this is a special case and clearly refers when you look at the surrounding verses directly to the Roman soldiers who were crucifying Him and quite literally had no guilt because they literally did not know what they were doing. As Gentiles they had no reason to know that they were killing God; they were just doing their duty as soldiers. You cannot repent what you do not know is wrong in the first place.
Since our forgiveness of others is supposed to be a mirror to the world of how God forgives us, if we make a practice of forgiving the unrepentant, who deliberately wrong us, we teach the world that there is no need to repent in order to receive forgiveness -either ours or God’s. This is very bad doctrine and leads to “easy believe” salvation which does not work. John in 1John 1:8-10 says “If we say we have no sin (are unrepentant) we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins (repent), He is faithful to and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned (do not repent), we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.“
Repentance is a vitally important part of God’s plan of salvation through faith in Jesus as Lord, God, Savior and Sacrifice. Without it there is no salvation. John the Baptist yelled Repent til he lost his head. Jesus’ teaching was the same. Mat 4:17, Mark 1:15, and Luke 13:3-5 - “Except you repent, you shall all perish.” There is no blanket forgiveness without repentance. In Luke 24:46-47 the resurrected Jesus says as he is giving last instructions before ascending into heaven: “Thus it is written and thus it behoved Messiah to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day; and that repentance and remission of sins (Forgiveness) be preached among all the nations.” Peter carries on the message of repentance as necessary for receiving forgiveness in Acts 2:38 at Pentecost “Repent …for the remission of sins.” In the Temple Acts 3:19 “Repent ye therefore and be converted, that your sins be blotted out (Forgiven).” To Simon Magus in Acts 8:22 “Repent therefore of your wickedness and pray God if PERHAPS the thought of your heart may be forgiven you.” Jesus, John the Baptist, John the apostle, and Peter thought this repenting stuff was awful important. Maybe we should too.
John (not the apostle or Baptist)
How to deal with people in church who keeps on wronging you but doesn't admit their mistakes? The debtor in the bible story admitted their mistake, but it's a real struggle when the debtor doesn't admit their mistake and justifying themselves... 😢
If it's really bad stuff then the church should have them under discipline (divorce, cheating, abuse, scammers, overt slander etc)
For small issues I would say most likely yes
So we allow someone to continue to hurt us over and over again? I feel a lot of pain over a relative who has hurt me and continues. I don’t feel as much unforgiveness as much as hurt. They will never admit wrongdoing.
If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.
Matthew 10:14 NIV
How do we forgive somebody that has done us wrong as in taking almost all our belongings by breaking into our house damaging our doors time to come again but we don't know who how do we forgive them
How do I forgive them, not only have they never asked forgiveness or apologized, they outright deny it too and up to this day they won't change their ways.
Pray asking God to help you to forgive them. By forgiving them, that is doing your loving part. To have forgiveness that results in restoration, there must be true repentance from the debtor.
To get this straight, I am to forgive someone who will not admit they sinned against me, therefore cannot ask me to forgive them, and no matter how many times the sin against me in the future I am to forgive or lose my soul?
Yet Jesus will not forgive my sins unless I CONFESS my sins, ASK him for forgiveness, and not commit the sin in the future.
So am i to be more forgiving than Jesus? Thats asking more of me than I am capable.
Christ forgave the men who crucified him while hanging on the cross, despite the fact that He never received an apology from them. You are called to do likewise.
Please forgive me for not writing and keeping in better touch.
God blesses some people he has not forgiven yet. To bless someone does not mean you have forgiven them.
Every instance of forgiveness in the Bible is preceded by some kind of repentance, including our forgiveness by God.
While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. So if he died/ forgave us before we deserved it or asked for it then we must do the same.
Kingdom Citizenship but salvation depends on our repentance and acceptance of the gift.
@@Webbgurl2000 Yes, but because we do or don't accept it doesn't change that it is there for the taking. There are really two aspects to this. Spiritual forgiveness that takes place in our hearts that God sees, and then the physical forgiveness between us and the person who has repented. Forgiveness is done before it is asked for. I agree though, the recipient can't bask in the forgiveness until they approach the one they have wronged and repented, but the one who was wronged must have forgiveness for that person in their heart before the person even seeks them to repent. (Think of the father of the prodigal son or Joseph with his brothers) Scripture says if we do not forgive men on earth, our Father will not forgive us in heaven. I agree, repentance is necessary for the earthly forgiveness. Jesus said in Luke 17, IF YOUR BROTHER REPENT, FORGIVE HIM. And Jesus said something very interesting in John 20 after leaving us the Holy Spirit. He said if we forgive anyone, they are forgiven. But if we don't forgive them...they are not forgiven. Very interesting.
@@kingdomcitizenship5613 No dude you got it backwards. Forgiveness always comes AFTER repentance. I get asked this a lot and and put together a Biblical answer below.:
I really am not looking for a fight, but I think this is important. I am not sure just how forgiveness got unlinked from repentance but I hear this idea quite a lot anymore and not just in Christian circles. While it is common, it seems to me to be both wrong and dangerous. Forgiveness is not about letting go of your inner bitterness or anger or hurt. It is not a catharsis. It is about cancelling a legitimate debt. It seems to me that if I forgive someone who does not acknowledge that what he or she did was wrong, that there was any debt owed, and is not asking for my forgiveness, I am in essence telling them that what they did is right and that it is okay with me if they do it to me again or to someone else. I am condoning sin and even evil. Furthermore asking me to do so is asking me to be “better” and more forgiving than God since it is my understanding that God strongly links forgiveness of our sins to being a response to our repentance from those sins. Of course what I think is hardly authoritative so let’s look at what Jesus and the apostles had to say about it.
The key passage seems to be the 70 times 7 saying of Jesus in Matthew 18:21-22 that Joe mentioned. “Then came Peter to him and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Til seven times? Jesus said unto him I say not seven times but seventy times seven.” Well at first glance there does not appear to be anything tying repentance as a precondition to forgiveness in those two verses, but that is because we are not looking at the verses in context. First Peter did not pick seven out of thin air. He is referring to a similar teaching Jesus said in Luke 17:3-4. “Take heed to yourselves; if your brother trespass against thee, rebuke (or confront) him; and IF HE REPENTS, forgive him. And if he trespass against thee seven in a day and seven times in a day turn again to you saying, I repent, you must forgive him.” Well that is pretty clear and specific. In order to receive or merit your forgiveness, the “trespasser” MUST admit his or her fault, determine to change their behavior and ASK your forgiveness just as we must repent and ask God’s forgiveness. IF they do that, THEN we must forgive them - seven times or 490 or 49,000, but not before.
So why didn’t Jesus say it that explicitly in Matthew? Well the answer is he did. A) Peter already was referring to the teaching we just looked at in Luke and they both knew that and Jesus just upped the number to drive the point home to Peter who was being stubborn and looking for loopholes. B) If you look directly above Mat 18: 21-22 in verses 15 -18 we see Jesus had just finished explaining his teaching on the Church discipline procedures that I was referring to and which is also alluded to in the Luke passage which makes it quite clear that our forgiveness of the “trespasser” is not to be given until he admits the error of his ways, even if that means tossing him out of the church. We may view this today as harsh but it is way milder than Moses’ repeated insistence in Deuteronomy that we stone them or the Pope’s plan to burn Martin Luther at the stake for disobedience. Not doing this has caused the disorder and evil we find in our churches today. C) Jesus’ answer to Peter did not end with verse 22. He continues his answer by telling a parable in the rest of the chapter, verses 22-35, stressing the importance of forgiveness but definitely not leaving out the importance of ASKING for forgiveness. In verse 25, the king who clearly represents God does not just forgive his servant’s debt out of hand, in fact he sends out his enforcers to drag the guy in and he is about to sell the servant and his family into slavery until in verse 26 the debtor humbles himself, admits his fault, and begs mercy and a little time (not even forgiveness). Then and only then does the king wipe his debt clean. In verse 29 the first servant’s debtor begs similar mercy and is not only not forgiven but not even given the time extension he asked for. It is the failure to extend mercy AFTER repentance and after the mercy he received from the king that gets the first servant in trouble.
We see the same principle in the parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-32, a great story of God’s forgiveness. The father never quit loving his son but we often miss that the forgiveness and restoration of that son did not occur until he came to his senses and repented and humbled himself and asked forgiveness. In verses 18-19 the prodigal says “I will arise and go to my father and will say unto him, Father I have sinned against heaven and before, and I am not worthy to be called your son. Make me as one of your hired men.” Then and only then does he receive mercy. The Father did not chase him down and drag him back while he was being a jackass; He waited until he was repentant to restore him.
Someone brought up Luke 23:24 where Jesus says from the cross “Father forgive them for they know not what they do,” but this is a special case and clearly refers when you look at the surrounding verses directly to the Roman soldiers who were crucifying Him and quite literally had no guilt because they literally did not know what they were doing. As Gentiles they had no reason to know that they were killing God; they were just doing their duty as soldiers. You cannot repent what you do not know is wrong in the first place.
Since our forgiveness of others is supposed to be a mirror to the world of how God forgives us, if we make a practice of forgiving the unrepentant, who deliberately wrong us, we teach the world that there is no need to repent in order to receive forgiveness -either ours or God’s. This is very bad doctrine and leads to “easy believe” salvation which does not work. John in 1John 1:8-10 says “If we say we have no sin (are unrepentant) we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins (repent), He is faithful to and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned (do not repent), we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.“
Repentance is a vitally important part of God’s plan of salvation through faith in Jesus as Lord, God, Savior and Sacrifice. Without it there is no salvation. John the Baptist yelled Repent til he lost his head. Jesus’ teaching was the same. Mat 4:17, Mark 1:15, and Luke 13:3-5 - “Except you repent, you shall all perish.” There is no blanket forgiveness without repentance. In Luke 24:46-47 the resurrected Jesus says as he is giving last instructions before ascending into heaven: “Thus it is written and thus it behoved Messiah to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day; and that repentance and remission of sins (Forgiveness) be preached among all the nations.” Peter carries on the message of repentance as necessary for receiving forgiveness in Acts 2:38 at Pentecost “Repent …for the remission of sins.” In the Temple Acts 3:19 “Repent ye therefore and be converted, that your sins be blotted out (Forgiven).” To Simon Magus in Acts 8:22 “Repent therefore of your wickedness and pray God if PERHAPS the thought of your heart may be forgiven you.” Jesus, John the Baptist, John the apostle, and Peter thought this repenting stuff was awful important. Maybe we should too.
John (not the apostle or Baptist)
@@johnbreitmeier3268 If a person doesn't forgive someone until that individual asks for forgiveness, then there are alot of Christians that will leave this earth with alot of unforgiveness in their hearts towards alot of people lol. C'mon brother, you've intellectualized scripture FAR too much. It is the goodness of God that leads one to repentance, no sinner can come to that conclusion on their own. Let the spirit guide you and you will know that we love only because He first loved us. All Christ did was heal people and FORGIVE their sins before they even knew Him or repented. And what often followed was their repentance ( or change of mind). Jesus forgave the paralytic that was lowered through the roof before he repented, he healed the invalid man by the pool before he repented, Stephan forgave the people who stoned him WHILE they were stoning him (no repentance there). You contradicted yourself in so many of your examples; I'm not going to even address those. But the point is forgiveness is very important to God. So much so, that he made plans in the garden to rectify the situation and redeem his creation that was lost to sin at the fall. Only his Son's perfect death could pay the price to forgive the world of it's sin. And he loved us enough to do that before anyone could repent. So you mean to tell me, you can't find forgiveness in your heart for people that wrong you unless they ask for your forgiveness first? Pray on this one brother and the spirit will show you otherwise.
I have a bit of a dilemma. I have a neighbor who, several years ago, I spent lots of time sharing Christ with her. I believed she had converted after a few months of that. She went to her church and bible study. I didn't just hang out with her as I had a busy life and not interested in socializing much the way she and her husband tend to do which involves lots of drinking, gossip and gross humor. She later said to me that she totally believes in karma and made reference to the circle of life stuff, etc. At that point, I just wasn't up for informing her again of the error of her beliefs. My heart was mostly in the mode of "let her believe whatever she wants. Lord, she's yours". She and her husband have had us to dinner a few times, but I always feel uncomfortable as she berates her husband in front of other people, is toxic and negative and broadcasts her pain to anyone who will listen, has hatred to her mother and sister, etc. I've counseled her that her expectations of others may be too high and other ways of helping her like reading the Word, trusting God, etc.. My husband and I were invited recently to dinner, and we keep turning them down. My husband wants to go. I don't. I'm just done with all of it. I forgive her, but no words like those expressed Matthew 18:15-17 would work I believe. She is fragile and would crumble. I'm not in her church. She's offensive to most people. I guess I am concerned I'm not forgiving her. Its more a matter of not wanting to stumble in her presence and not feed into her extreme drama. It's not healthy or fruitful. I know I would help her if she had a real need that arose. But, she just wants to cry and vomit on others. Am I forgiving?
Candice Casey no, you have not. It sounds like you detest this woman. Perhaps your expectations of others are too high. Spiritual beliefs aside, because it is ok to have different opinions, your issue with this lady goes beyond. Have personal boundaries. Try not to council if you can’t muster compassion and understanding. If she feels toxic to your well being forgive her and gently decline interaction. Forgive yourself before trying to forgive her.
Candice, I’ve had a similar situation with my older sister. She has always belittled me growing up, I was naive and took her jabs.
She moved away for 10 years, we had little communication over that time, she assumed me to be the same when she returned. She was homeless, my brother gave her his 2nd home to live in for free, we all helped her anyway we could. I filled her refrigerator, cleaned the house before she moved in, gave her a job and then she began to tell family lies about me.
She is a narcissist, has tried to commit suicide over 4 times in the past, has taken medication most of her life for depression and anxiety. She sees a psychiatrist on a regular basis.
The last time I saw her was our mother‘s 84th birthday party. I was cordial to her but her evil glares made me decide that was enough.
I decided then that I would no longer allow myself to be in her presence or drug down by her. She had twisted every conversation we had in the past, she bullied me to the point that I cannot & will not allow myself to be in a room with her.
Have I forgiven her? Absolutely!
I have simply guarded my eyes and ears from her abusive actions towards me and no longer give her ANY communication so that she can use it as ammunition against me.
The Bible is clear when it says that we should Guard our eyes and ears.
Whether someone is family or not, we are not expected to take abuse in any form so as to look as if we are being forgiving and loving towards that person.
There comes a time when we have done all we can do, as you clearly have with your neighbor. We then have to separate ourselves or the enemy will use that person to drag us to THEIR level.
There comes a time we have to let go and let God complete the work we’ve begun.
Matthew 5:44
“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you”
The Bible doesn’t say you need to hang out with our enemies, just to pray for them. :)
Proverbs 20:19
“A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.”
Amen
If somebody is wrong just but we don't know who it is how do we forgive them
Demonically Passive
This Princeple unfortunately does not work in a court of law
The act of forgiveness some times can assure the abuser and Add more grief to the victim - in that forgiveness is similar to self mutilation - not good
Please help! The Bible says if we do not forgive.God wil not forgive us. OK.Here is my question. If I didn't forgive some people for years. If I now forgive them and confess with my mouth that I now forgive everyone I ever had difficulty forgiving. Will God now forgive me?????? Or is it too late
In Matthew 18, Christ says that we must forgive our brother "from the heart." To forgive someone is not a formula that we can recite from our mouth. It is a disposition of the heart. You must let go of the pain and hurt.
"Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, *rebuke him* ; and if he *repents* , forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘ *I repent* ,’ you shall forgive him.”"
Luke 17:3-4 NKJV
“Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces.
Matthew 7:6 NKJV
Christ forgave the men who crucified him while hanging on the cross, despite the fact that He never received an apology from them. You are called to do likewise.
@@mosesking2923 You are called to ignore the gospel of Luke?
Um ..the prescription is that they repent ..there is no forgiveness without repentance..not from abba..so why would he expect us to forgive the unrepentant if he himself being love doesn't? Ezekiel 18-19
They are not a fellow believer. What do I do?
Forgive.
Who comes up with these questions? Why would you need permission to forgive someone? You either forgive them or you don't.
So what about a psychopath that kidnaps, rapes, and kills your daughter, and then blames her and you? And continues to lie in prison.
But it must be added that this man also asked for forgiveness.
My exwife that was my wife try to have me kill three times. But each plot fail. The FBI is on the case, but don’t want to say she sorry . So I have live by the pain of trying to forgive. We even have daughters, she try to kill the father of her children
Answer to this one.
If they repent...omw
what if I ask for forgiveness and the person refusing to give forgiveness?
Then you have done your part as a Christian. It's like passing the ball on the court. Once you pass it, it is not longer on your hands to worry about it.
Mou Beeton
Then, it has nothing to do with you.
Please Pray for Emily Rose Hallek
I can. What does she need?
How could someone who believes in eternal security teach that you can lose your salvation 🤦 He literally says at some point in this recording that you can lose your salvation all the while claiming he believes in eternal security ? You go figure 🤷♂️
If Abba had forgiven the unrepentant then there wouldn't; be a judgment day..
I find religious discourse so bizarre I must say. What kind of God would forgive us only on the condition that we first forgave others? That's a vision of a God that would be equal or smaller to man surely? If his forgiveness and love was unending, why would he be interested in holding anyone to a test? That's a genuine question if anyone would like to answer.
Through Jesus Christ, God forgives us of MANY sins. If God could forgive us of so much sin and wickedness, we should be able to show love and mercy and forgiveness to other people who sin against us. We can't recieve God's forgiveness and show unforgiveness to others
This is why i think Jesus told us we should forgive others. Because God showed us love, mercy and forgiveness, i think he wants us to show the same thing to other people
Read the book of Matthew. Your question will be answered, thoroughly.
Wow this is a great question, you’ve put into words exactly what I was thinking. I had to soak that in for a bit. Recently I’ve found it impossible to forgive some people, especially if they never seem to change or acknowledge that they are wrong. I had a close friend who mistreated me for years and I still have nightmares about it every other night, even though I am no longer around this person. So technically, according to Matthew 6:15,
“But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
So because I can’t forgive this person that would mean that God won’t forgive me. Obviously I don’t measure up to His standards, because I literally can’t forgive this certain person even though I want to. God’s conditions are simply too severe for me to meet, even though I know they are ideal.
But so I was praying and this is what I’ve found so far:
The first step of fixing a problem is realizing there is a problem. I have to acknowledge that wrong is wrong. I think I overstayed that situation with my friend since I overlooked evil by justifying it for the other person and acting like it was okay. This was not loving of me to my friend or to myself. Love takes no pleasure in evil but delights in truth.
Now that I know there is a problem, I also needed to know that I have to forgive and I know it’s the right thing to do.
Now that I know how I should respond, I had to fight to want to do the right thing and not retaliate, because obviously I’m frustrated and deeply wounded. But even if I don’t want anything to do with my friend anymore I want to be good with my God and I know that He won’t forgive me if I’m not good with my friend. So I had to choose to forgive.
However upon trying to forgive, I realize that I can’t and my heart is not in it and bitterness had taken over because of how long I was in denial and the temptation to blame one another is super real. So this was a consequence of sinful nature in my friend and myself.
This is where I had to separate myself and seriously turn to God for help because I want to do the right thing but I can’t on my own.
This is when I realized that Holy Spirit helps us forgive also, it’s not a feeling that can be forced but after praying I have peace and perspective, I have a supernatural peace, the pain is gone, and feel like I’ve forgiven this person. The nightmares go and I actually had sweet dreams about this friend instead. It’s only when I start falling into the temptation of blame or fear that the nightmares come back, but I just pray and ask Holy Spirit for help and the hurt goes away.
Now that the hurt is gone, I can genuinely follow Jesus’s response in saying I forgive them for they know not what they do, and pray for them also. This further helps relieve the hurt and it is how we can fulfill Gods condition of forgiving others. In doing so I find that I am also being freed from the burden of offense.
Thanks for asking, this was super eye opening. Hopefully I passed this test because I know there are more offenses to come.
“It is impossible that no offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.” (Luke 17:1-4)
Now that the plank is out of my eye, confronting my friend would be the most loving thing to do in this situation, since I can see clearly and would not be responding in bitterness. However I no longer feel the need to, but am ready to do so if the opportunity should ever present itself. Prior to forgiving my friend it would have been me seeking retaliation and being judgmental and probably would’ve turned into this big fight, but now that I’ve forgiven this friend I can point out what my friend is doing wrong in gentleness and love. What my friend does with what I say is up to my friend, I can’t force my friend to change as love does not insist on it’s own way either. Though my friend may continue to repeat the same offenses with others, I can pray for my friend like Jesus said to do, and that is how we forgive others. Though God’s commands are impossible to do on our own strength, they are good and possible when we trust in His Spirit to help us. At the end of the day asking Him for help is what it means to believe in Him, to acknowledge that we aren’t enough and that we need Him. John 3:16
Here is a better question: Am I required to forgive someone, repeatedly, when they refuse to repent? Rhetorical question. I know we are to love our enemies...love includes forgiveness. Interesting topic. Especially when you contrast this with God's ways and requirements. He will ONLY forgive if we first forgive AND repent. We are held to a higher standard. He made the rules and I love Him. I used to question this, but no longer. Praise Jesus.
When Christ died on the cross, that was God saying we are forgiven. Repentance is saying you understand you were wrong and you want to do better. Its not that the Father expects more from us it is that he expects us to give others what he gave us.
@@xavierthomas5835 no It wasn't saying that we were forgiven. We HAVE TO repent to be forgiven, so does anyone else who expects to be forgiven. Do not twist the word of god.
@@petros-estin-petra- Jesus died for you, even when you weren't there. Did you believe then, or were you sorry for your sins? He had already died, and loved, and lived on this earth for a generation hidden from this world. He forgave you even when you were going to sin anyways. You sin yet still, though he has forgiven you. How then shall you escape condemnation if you hold unforgiveness and hatred in your heart against those who refuse to repent and have no heart to it?
@@xavierthomas5835 You're arguing with your heart and mind, so be careful about that.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart And *do not lean on your own understanding* ."
Proverbs 3:5 NASB2020
"The *heart is deceitful* above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"
Jeremiah 17:9 KJV
I rather stick to the bible:
"Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, *rebuke him* ; and if he *repents* , forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘ *I repent* ,’ you shall forgive him.”"
Luke 17:3-4 NKJV
"Do not give what is holy to the dogs; nor cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you in pieces."
Matthew 7:6 NKJV
Forgiveness is holy. Do not waste what is holy.
@@petros-estin-petra- Forgive and you shall be forgiven. If you don't forgive, you shall not be forgiven. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; Matthew 5:44That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. Matthew 5:45For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? Matthew 5:46And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? Matthew 5:47Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. Matthew 5:48
He spends the entire last part of Matthew talking about doing good to people who hate you and do you wrong. He speaks about loving your enemies, people who have actively done you wrong. It isn't about my heart, bit the word of God IN my heart. And my emotions come from God, being angry or sincere or happy don't make me a fool.
This is horribly convoluted and messy. Here's the answer... You have control over you and you can make the decision to forgive and ask Jesus to help you if you need help. If you actually WANT to forgive someone, it's a personal decision and they aren't involved. If they do not acknowledge the need to be forgiven or claim they have done nothing wrong or belittle what they have done to you, they are not saved. A saved person would be aware of themselves and have the conviction of the Holy Spirit to deal with..
If they were truly saved, they wouldn't have done ANY of those things to you. So what do you do then? You pray for our Lord Jesus to create the conditions in their life that brings them to Him. You pray for their salvation and recognize they are lost. The lost need help, not condemnation. Sometimes people need to be shaken up to recognize they are lost and sometimes you are the one doing the shaking but leave this one to Jesus and focus on your work for Him, not reconciliation of your pain from them. Jesus handles that... You now work for Jesus so focus on what you can do for Him, not yourself.
Terrible answer. Cheap grace teaching. Seed of obedience instead of fruit and that's fine? Seriously?
I forgive others for me to free me from unnecessary pain and misery.
Amen