I Gave Up My PR Career To Care For Mum - Despite Battling Depression & Burnout
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 พ.ค. 2024
- Nadia Daeng quit her job at a global PR and sports marketing agency in 2019 to become a full-time caregiver for her mother who’d had a stroke. She was also caring for her sister who is intellectually disabled.
Nadia was grappling with clinical depression, burn-out and the stress her caregiving duties were putting on her relationship with fiance Wayne (they were in couples therapy), when being filmed for the documentary Altered Lives in 2021. Her mental state was a “4 out of 10”.
But when CNA Insider caught up with her in February 2022 after the series aired, she was feeling less alone, and an “8 out of 10”. It was thanks to support groups like Caregivers Alliance Limited; the experience of being able to share about her problems in the documentary; and encouraging messages from viewers. Her message to all caregivers? “You are not alone. You can ask for help.”
00:00 Why Nadia chose to be a full-time caregiver instead of hiring a maid
02:10 Battling loneliness, and the struggle to find time for herself
03:11 Plans for marriage have been put off
05:10 Dealing with mum’s emotional breakdown
06:21 Nadia speaking to her sister who had been readmitted to the Institute of Mental Health
07:37 4 months later: Where are Nadia & mum now?
11:09 How to get help if you have caregiver burnout
Watch the full episodes of Altered Lives: • Altered Lives | Full E...
The documentary tracks the lives of 4 people battling loneliness in 4 Asian countries.
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I respect that woman who is taking care of her mother. Don't worry you can find your dream job. You can marry. But you can not find your mother after she passed away. She is doing a great job.
You have such a beautiful and precious soul, Nadia.
Nadia, you are a beautiful person! And are so resilient being a caregiver. This gave me chills.
Only have 1 mother in the world, taking care of her for the rest of her life is a kindness that will never be regretted
I really feel for her. The heaviness of her situation is not easy. Though she navigates it with maturity and wisdom, despite the battles.
I can really feel for you because i am there now, being a caregiver to my mum, though your level of difficulty is more complex. Frankly, being a caregiver is never been easy...you seem to loose yourself, you just cannot be yourself and it can be lonely and sometimes depressing. You lost your freedom. Siblings trying not to get so involved, fearing drawing themselves into caregiving mess. In short, we have no choice but to confront it, no matter what.
Rarely leaving a comment for a video. Nadia, just want to let you know that you're a great inspiration. Being a caregiver myself for my mum who have stage 4 cancer, I am no where near to you. Thank you for your dedication to your mum, I hope nothing but the best for you. We're not alone and thank you once again for showing me the strength and faith.
am so touched for nadia’s dedication for her mother and family... you go girl!
Nadia, you hv a heart of gold. You belong to a very rare species, doing what you did for your mom and sis. As a Buddhist, I know you hv created good causes in your life and this will be manifested as favourable effects in the future. Wish Wayne and you loads of happiness together
God bless you! My momma passed away in December 2019, and I was her caregiver. Watching your video brought tears to my eyes... I went through similar with my mom. I miss her so much.
One day, you will understand what a wonderful gift you did for yourself and mom. Most important is you are present n is there for her. It is not about duty but because you care and love her. It is a wonderful feeling and you will be filled with warmth and understanding like no other.
Mother is the biggest gift in the world. Please don't leave your mom alone. I love my mom so much. I cried so much seeing your mother suffer. Sending you and your mother love and strength. God bless you and your mother 🙌
being good to your mom will earn you good merits and definately after she passes away, you will have a good life due to these merits. keep it up, you are such a good person.
Nope, good and bad karma doesn’t exist in the world. Evil and callous people occupy the highest levels in society, while kind and genuine people end up in poverty all the time. There is no justice in the world, it’s just a fabricated human fantasy.
@@davidlee723 the evil people who are doing well in this lifetime earned good merits in their previous life, so they are reaping the benefits now, whereas if they don't earn more good merits now, in their next life they will suffer again.
@@TheInaa9 that’s stupid. its just a revolving door of pointlessness. no one actually gains anything from your view on death
@@namjoonie936 to each their own. I have my Buddhist point of view, maybe your religion or lack of one interprets it as useless but to us it makes lots of sense.
@@TheInaa9 oh i diddnt realise that was buddhist, keep doing you man .
Caregiving for 30 years both my parents. Sacred duty. Much love to you and your family and Mum ❤️ from me and my Mama 🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺
I feel so much in your shoe that I cry. Sooner or after I will just be like you in the same situation. I ( 37) and my mum ( 69) in my family we only have each other for life. You are lucky to have a partner by your side still.
Me too...am 39,,
Me too. I am 31 and my mom 60
Many caregivers ended up ruining their career and their love life. Most also tend to be the youngest in the family or the one that has not got married.
Her siblings should help her financially.
Caregivers are some of the strongest individuals I know. To use the defeatist term 'ruin' in this context hardly gives merit to their battles. Life, love or work never stop reinventing themselves.
@@kwankao1039 they don't care 💅
On the other hand, they earn huge respect from rest of the world because most can't do what you do..
@@kwankao1039 siblings have their own family commitment and they don't care, singles always have to bear the responsibility
Daughter is better than sons 👍 You are inspirational to our society. 🙏
I did the same for my mum for 4 -5 years til she passed away in 2019. I left my job and went home to look after her. The worst thing for me was my mum didn't even recognise me as she was already suffering from moderate to advanced Alzheimer disease. However, we still managed to have some good quality happy time together. I had done my duty 100% and now I can focus on my health and future without feeling any guilt. The only advice I got for you is you also need to look after yourself at the same time. I am very happy to share some of my nursing skills and knowledge to you if you wish..xx
" I want to be okay... i make ypu suffer"... i cried, i can so relate with this, not all children want to care for their elderly parents,
Ms. Nadia is not only beautiful but very beautiful heart 🥲🥲
Your strength and beautiful heart does not only inspire me, but i pray you make long way and believe you will 🙏🏽🙇🏻♀️
This pray also for you and your partner with a family built someday, believe it will come true🙏🏽 Thank you very much for uploading this video and knowing I am not alone too.
God bless you for being a good n faithful daughter. Is always good to look after your own mother by yourself rather then depending on other people.
Since she mentioned she doesn't know how to restart her career, would she be open to qualify as a counselor? I think with her experiences she's shared so far, it will help others who are in similar shoes to feel less lonely. These days, there are digital marketing courses you can take online for her as well. I believe that she will succeed in life and be happy regardless with what she has gone through so far. She's admirable and deserves recognition. I don't know how I'd be able to handle her situation if I'm placed in it. 💪🙌
i can see her as a good Counselor with her fluent English...
So touched watching this. Believe your mom and sister feel your love for them, Nadia. Such a blessing for them to have you. So inspired by your resilience and strength as well. Keeping you, your family and Wayne in prayer! Rooting for you and Wayne's wedding too - such beautiful souls both of you have :)
U r strong , u r articulate , u have a beautiful soul. U will find that career when U want to rejoin. God bless.
her mother raised a lovely woman, i bet she loves her daughter to the moon and back
heartstrong Nadia. Thank you for being such a wonderful child. Not every child has the chance to do what you do.
I have been in this situation between work and care for a parent. I look at it in a practical way when I decided to quit my job and commit to the care of a sick parent. I am so glad I did the right decision to take voluntary retirement and take care of my mom 24/7. God bless you! You are doing a good job. Well Done!
You are a lovely human being, and have a lovely family. I've been a caregiver for ten years. It's one of the hardest jobs, but also one of the most purposeful ones. Thank God your Mom and your sister have you.
Semuga Allah mudah semua urusan Nadia. You are a pious daughter. Stay strong and patience.
I can understand you Nadia. To most people your mom is just an older woman who is disabled. But to you, you saw how vibrant your mom was when she was younger. You know of all the moments your mom was there for you. You know how your mom was a beautiful young woman who tugged you into bed when you were sick as a child. I understand how and why you love your mom.
You are by far the most kindest, more caring human being!!! U do what’s best for your mum and fiancé even though it hurts. I wish u nothing but the very best future. Sending ❤️
Such a beautiful person. Such a beautiful soul. All your future bosses will be so blessed to have you.
May the Lord reward you & your family the highest Jannah! Keep strong Nadia! You are beautiful ;-)
I totally understand where she comes from. It’s very honourable for her to take care of her mom that way. Mom gets a better care that way..moms are human and I don’t see institution give them the best care they need.
May God bless you and your family abundantly, Nadia. Sending you 💓 and strength
This was incredibly touching 🥺🥺
Bless you . You are not alone . My family is going through it now. We don’t know when is the end . But agree with you :one day at a time . Take care, many blessings to you 🙏
Nadia, you are truly a resilient and caring human and such a great daughter and sister! I am caring for my parents 24/7 and also had to drop a very lucrative career in writing. I get about 3-4 hours of sleep each day if I'm lucky. I figure my mom and dad fed, cleaned, and watched over me for the first few years of my life, so the least I could do is the same for them in their final years on earth. It's a very serious and burdensome sacrifice, but one that I can make without regret because the alternative would be tragic (nursing homes in the US are horrendous). Be strong and tell her every day that you love her!
i feel for you coz i too am a Caregiver and my career just going nowhere for years until recently though i do have my Overthinking and Anxiety, always thinking about my Sister(Mental Health Issues and an IMH Outpatient, once per 2 months appointments) and My Aging Parents whom have Appointments of their own too.. i know the hardships in being the ONLY one that truly understands and care for his loved ones.. PLUS i have my own health to worry about, Eczema and etc.. it can be stressful at times and as a Muslim, after i went back to start my 5 Daily Prayers again, i feel much more calmer and have the acceptance that there is a light at the end of the tunnel..
God bless you, Nadia.
Nadia, you are a strong and beautiful lady with such a great ❤️. God bless you.
One day at a time Is also my motto when I am caring for my 2 elderly folks. Our journey with them is something which no one’s will understand. Big hugs to you.
Nadia you are such a good daughter and a person. I salute you. Wish you akl the best.
i'm a woman, 26, living alone with my mom which is already 61 yrs old though she's still strong enough to take care of herself there still times when she's sick and i need to take in hospital i have no choice, it is just the both of us. my dad died when i was 12 yrs old.
i do have siblings from her first family but all of them now have their own families and living far from us. i support my mom financially and sometimes them, my siblings family. somehow thanks to pandemic, i found courage and got a job online as freelancer.
it is not easy, yah i cry because i feels i am being hold of so many things, i cant do what i want most of the time. but Nadia is right, i think my time is so short and on hold but how about our parents their lifespan is much shorter than us.
i dont have plans yet to settle. i dont have a boyfriend or any special relationship. i am afraid of being a burden to someone because i have been then and done that.
You are such an inspiration. Well done!! The world need more people like you.
May every parents in the world will have a child like Nadia ! Nadia, you are the most beautiful daughter in the world.
Nadia, you are a strong and beautiful lady. Send you all the blessings!
My goodness Nadia , this is absolutely beautiful. Please know that there is always help out there & you are never alone . You are extremely filial & the love you have towards yourself has became actions now . You are a true gem ❤️
You will be able to join the next career you want and put your mind to Nadia.
You are such a wonderful daughter. Your love for your mother is immense and you are such a strong person. You are an inspiration.
You are a beautiful soul 😭😭😭 May God bless you till time indefinitely ❤️
She still has Wayne..
She still have her siblings...
She is not alone...
Imagine if she is an only child, single, taking care of the elderly...
Won't that be worse?
We must all learn to look at the things we have and not the things we dun have.
She is a wonderful caring person.
She will be blessed...
Lesson for all of us.
Be resilient in challenging times, be grateful for the things that you have..
Life will eventually work itself out
Her fiance is a wonderful n supportive partner.
Great daughter you are to ur mum.
This is all a choice, do you want a life or do you want to take care of you family with your life? I honestly prefer the retirement home or a nurse so I don't waste my children's life, but that because I've learnt to think about others.
Nadia live with no regret. You don't worry about your life. Your personal touch as a human being will make Wayne a happy man
You are an angel Nadia, take care and wishing you all the best!
You have a big heart Nadia, very inspiring story. Take care.
Bless people like you 🙏🙏
life is short, do whatever you need to do (at least you won’t regret)
I am absolutely touched & blessed by your sharing. Your unconditional self-giving of yourself to your loved ones is amazing & I hope to reflect on your thoughts whenever things are going well in our life's journey. Grateful thanks for your beautiful sharing.
Not going well.......
May God bless u in all ways.u are blessed indeed now!!
Sending my love for you, Nadia
Nadia is such a beautiful soul
What a beautiful soul
Paradise is under the feet of mothers. May you be rewarded justly.
Beautiful soul but this is one of the most terrible parts about life, watching your elders turn into helpless children and slowly waste away, and then realizing that this will happen to you as well.
I decided to take up the offer of home help 3 days a week so Mum can talk with different people other than myself and have a change of routine. Also I can be reassured knowing a team of professional healthcarers can attend to her personal needs on days she's grumpy and refusing to cooperate. I continue to work from home so I'm always available to help on those days if needed...
Good daughter
God bless
It's better to see our parents died in our arms than dying without seeing their family imagine they are the first person to take care of us when we are babies until we grow up i believe they will leave this earth with smile cos youre there to show them how much you love them i know it's not easy but it's worth it when my got cancer i was there to take care of her for it's not hard to take care of her but to see her in pain breaks my soul she's happy now in heaven i always pray for her 💙❤
Nadia you're amazing, I'm not so sure I can do what you did
Nadia ur career is not over you can use ur experience gain at the moment and become a nurse in the future
she could take-up and a Professional Caregiver tbh since she has the Empathy to help others in need..
Yo props to her man. She's a strong and independent woman
God will bless those who care for their Parents ❤️
You are not alone.
I am also a carer for my mother after leaving my job and it has its up and downs but it's ok even though it has it moments.
For my personal life, there isn't any because my mother comes first and I just ended up taking in stray cats lol
Nadia, I live in Australia, and did exactly the same caring for my mother, it's was hard very hard., would I do it again yes but with more support and you do feel lost when they die.
Wou
God bless you, Nadia!
While this is a touching story lots of such events happen in both Malaysia and Singapore.I used to commute between these two countries about five years back.Then this stupid covid scam struck.While I have a residual income one significant member of my family is affected.Now I have an additional caregiver role.I try to live normally and even visit hotels once a week.I am still trying to find a better way for my life.
People today tend to be more pragmatic, desiring to make more money and live a decent and comfortable life. Much of society’s attention is on those with the most social resources. Fewer people can handle Nadia’s situation.
god take care of you
That's the least we should do for our parents.
Hwaiting
It's good to keep on caring for loved one but it's as important to care for yourself. Get marry, get marry
Support for caregivers is severely lacking in our ageing societies. And it's disappointing to say the least how the mass media continues to perpetuate the traditional trope of women as primary caretakers when men are equally capable of fulfilling the same duty.
You are an angel sent by God
I left my job too to be a caregiver , now she is gone been a year, I am still unemployed at 56 yes of age
Good daughter
This is only what a decent person is supposed to do. Sad that it’s so unusual.
how many of us would do the same for our parents?
God take of you
Amazing daughter. I could not have made the sacrifices she did. I guess I am selfish
So just a question CNA. Why do you disable comments for CNA remarkable living but not for CNA insider? Is it because more local stories are featured here and on remarkable living it is mostly expats and you don’t want people to comment negatively about them? Doesn’t make sense
Wow
Nadia...You are SELECTED..by ALLAH SWT...to be CareGiver...I'm X-S'porean...used to Work HARD in S'pore...but i Don't..FEEL...living in CRAMP Area..makes ME ALIVE..(Migrated...OUT...n i FOUND that LIFE is NOT ABOUT MONEY...it's the GRATITUDE..n ALWAYS...Be HAPPY...(YOU HAVE GOD...JUST PRAY..)
❤️❤️❤️
♥️👋🏻
My highest respect to you as i went thru with 3
Get married and tackle this together , if he is willing. Love is not temporary happiness, it's sacrifice and commitment. This will past trust me ...at least be together.
@Unfinished Ritual sadly true ...Well at least in the Christian Catholic world, "for good times and bad times " also mean nothing. Real love is a rare commodity.
She is better off status quo. Imagine having to look after her in-laws in addition to her current responsibilities? And when she has kids??? Unless the boyfriend can afford to hire help for her, a husband is just adding more burden on her shoulders.
good girl..good choice..she could not have choosen better in life
Nice thing to do n your husband picks up the pieces n Carrie’s on with work.
This is not right, she should be free to live her life.