*sometimes I don't like myself and life is hard for me* [porch coffee]
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 พ.ค. 2024
- Welcome to our Weekly Porch Coffee. I often hear that people online don't acknowledge enough the struggle it is to be an autistic human on planet Earth. I find that I do tend to focus on the positive aspects of being on the spectrum, but that doesn't mean I am always feeling positive. Sometimes, I don't have the positive tips to fix things for you, because I myself am not doing that great. Sometimes I feel we should focus on normalizing that sometimes things aren't good. Sometimes it is better for us all to process that together and get through it together. I am so grateful for my youtube community who is always there to help me process though things. Thanks for being on this journey with me my friends!
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Hi! I’m Claire, and this is my channel, Woodshed Theory. Here you will find the awkward ramblings of an adult autist. I love being creative and sharing my experiences with you. Subscribe to see more DIYs and Autism Discussions on your feed!
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Not wanting to be perceived seems like a perfectly valid way to live life that doesn't need changing imo.
Hi Claire :) I completely understand your explination of "melancholy". I know exactly what you mean. I am going through it to. For me if often comes as soon as the weather gets warm. (I am a winter person. prefer the cold. no bugs. no birds. no noise) Hope you feel better soon. Sometimes just saying out loud " this is me today and I am fine with that" helps a lot. :) Hugs from Norway
same! I get so upset when the weather gets warmer. I prefer fall and winter. I've considered moving to the southern hemisphere during the summer months so I can maximize my cool, short days
Thanks keep up the great work loved the tips in this video. I’m definitely not autistic anymore.(just another joke folks)
Hi Claire, I can totally relate to how you are feeling. 🥰 I find myself often in a vacuum of self-doubt. My mom always told me that I just march to the beat of a different drum. Just remember to allow time for self care. ❣
I look for forward to your Monday morning Porch Coffee's as it is my day off from work. Brightens the day!
Some people drink coffee while watching porch coffee, some drink tea or water, but I crochet a WIP 🤣
I finally got around to watching porch coffee and sit down with my current knitted sock project ❤ yay for crafting 🎉
💯relate to everything you said Claire, from coffee, to not wanting to be perceived, to just not wanting to do it any more. I describe it as wanting to go to sleep for a bit and wake up when things are easier. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing that ❤
good to know i am not alone
I've been feeling burnt-out lately. I did see my doctor last week and we changed my antidepressant. I'm hoping that will help. This week I don't have a ton of plans besides therapies for both my children, so I hope to carve so me time out. Have a good week, Claire and friends. 💞
I hope you get to carve out some time friend. ❤️🩹
Hope this week will be better fore you Whitney 🙂!.
@Pjolter365 thank you I appreciate it ❤️
@@madberry thank you, friend ❤️
Hi my friend, I hope it can help.
I drink decaf and still enjoy my morning coffee!
I switched to decaf a few weeks ago because I just had no choice. I used to drink 3-4 mugs per day, but I was doing better then; now I get anxiety from coffee. Decaf still affects me, but I love the taste and it's a more mild feeling that I can handle right now.
❤
Give yourself some grace today. ❤
Its ok to feel bad sometimes.
thanks good advice
Claire - much gratitude - thanks for sharing another porch coffee!! I can assure you, my sticker mug definitely contains coffee. The birds are so sweet in this video - again, it sounds like they are auditioning for a Disney movie. Hoping everyone is kind to themselves this week. Metta meditation - may you be happy, well, safe, peaceful & at ease. How I feel sharing a porch coffee, and sending that to you. Best wishes for a great week!! ✨
I love that you are shareing your weekly thoughts. I don't drink coffee. i have sparkeling water. 😊 Have a nice week. 🥤
I love sparkling water as well.
I get the processing struggles. I am slow to process everything to the point where some of it NEVER gets processed! The important thing is knowing HOW you process info and that you CAN come back to things when you are ready to. There is no deadline. Love your channel, Claire!!
Okay I need to talk about coffee first. I’ve commented this before but I used to drink a minimum of 16 cups a day until my stomach said nope. I own what would be a Cuisenart Grind and Brew over here it’s made by Phillips. I love it. Ah I remember what video you did a video where you said you had to drink Folgers coffee that the only code you’re doing yourself a disservice with. I now only have one to three cups a week and they taste great. Every other day of the week I’m on green tea that I blend with ginger or something I grow myself in the garden.
I was thinking about the blue comment you made and I need to start using that. Every time I tell someone I feel depressed or simply just down they get worried. There is no need for it. I’ve been thing I’ll start using shades of blue. Light, dark or just blue.
Those shawls are great love the dragon fly. That other shawl is probably some of the finest crocheting I’ve seen you do so I understand the name. Wait a minute you’re saying that my shawl might have dropped stitches? That’s it missy I’m counting them out and if there is even one stitch missing I demand a refund.(relax folks it’s a joke).
Before diagnosis I have ruined some holidays. I was having a meltdown but being undiagnosed I didn’t know this so I was just “difficult” and “wanting my own way”. I already have self image issues and the self hatred was definitely palpable during that time. I still have the self images issues. Especially when, even tho it’s because of burn out, I can’t get stuff done. And I agree that’s totally fine to feel like that sometimes.
Have a great week Claire and friends.
Hey, there. It's all good on the rescheduling the guest. Life happens and it is an opportunity to pivot, regroup, and rest. The timing will be right when it is right. Yes to finding the things that help us through. My husband is the coffee person here. He drinks so much he never ever wastes it. Lol. I am OJ and my beloved granola bars. Followed by my all day refillable, toteable water bottle. Ooh, I missed your short but will remedy that after this! I was so busy this week with my youngest's end of the year history assignment ( A very fun live Wax Museum. He portrayed a medieval knight) , thinking of his homeschooling future, and my daughter's high school graduation. Lots of emotions there. So happy and super proud of her yet sad the time has gone and equal parts thrilled and terrified for her future. I have strived to teach her good self-advocacy as a young autistic adult but I am also aware how hard the world can be...I hear you on the not always feeling the rainbows.Totally relate. You are not always going to feel great. And that is okay. Thanks for the transparency. It really does help more than you know. Blessings as ever on your week, friend.❤
I really enjoy your channel 😊
thanks happy to have you
I drink tea. I love coffee too. Nothing is better than the first cup. I have the same problem. It's not bad if it's in the morning. It's when you get closer to bed if your drinking. I do this. I do a detox at the end of every semester. I switch to this mushroom coffee which slowly begins to work over time. It does make my anxiety decline.
I finally ordered a mug! The camper one is so pretty!
yay! thanks for the support and welcome to MUG CLUB lol
Hi Claire! Happy Monday! Thank you for continuing the Porch Coffee. I've missed a lot of them lately, but I appreciate them. It's reassuring to know that other people are experiencing the same things that I do.
I think that - for me, anyway - not wanting to be seen, or out in social situations, is a reaction to feeling misunderstood and disrespected for being different. Though, I strive to get myself out of my home because even if it's uncomfortable, it's generally good for me. Plus, I have to go to work and support myself, and do the shopping, whatever.
Today, I went fishing in town, which I have been wanting to do for years. I call this a win.
God bless you, Internet friend!
I find that Autism is a reason as long as it does not become an excuse. I have the opportunity to get a drink of water and taking a nap. When I wake, I usually feel in a better place.
hi ms c thanks for stopping by - that is a good point
@@WoodshedTheory I enjoy your channel, and am learning a lot about myself and my life...
A LOT of times I don't like myself and life is hard for me. Really feeling the title.
23:50 I am in a silly mood and I thank you for this!
I had a terrible week at work where I couldn't get anything right and got into my head that it's because my coworkers all hate me...which is not true but it made me spiral out by Friday midday. I finished my shift but I was on the edge of quiting and having a total meltdown. I can't start over and I actually enjoy the work. I'm new and just finished a crash course and I'm back on the floor but I still need training wheels and help. Everyone just ignores me until I start panicking and then it's too late to finish the service appropriately so I still don't get to learn the process I need to to be better. It makes me really sad that I still struggle so hard. Luckily I finally have a real boyfriend at 41 for the first time in my life so I'm not totally alone like I was for the last few years after my parents died. It's been really really hard but I met this really great guy a few months ago who really supports me emotionally and gives me strength to keep going. I have to go back to work this morning at 7. I'm already crying thinking about how embarrassed I am about Friday even tho I just teared up and didn't get my first service competed. My manager told me to take a quick 5 and calm down then come back and just get started on my second service.
Rejection sensitive dysphoria has caused me to not even start new jobs and it has definitely cause me to quit jobs. I used to also tell managers don’t bother judging me you’ll never be able to judge me as hard as I judge myself. It’s not that I don’t know it takes time to learn a new job. I just want to be perfect at it right away. I don’t think I’ve seen you before welcome friend.
I've been watching but haven't replied til now. Hello new friends!
🫂
@@rebelleparrish4937 greetings...
Today's going much better. I still feel like everyone hates me and is ignoring my questions but at least I kinda k own what I'm doing today and I'm making good time
Thanks for keeping it real, Claire! I hope you have a great week. 😎
Always!
I have Septo Optic Dysplasia and CPTSD. SOD caused me to be born totally blind, and it also caused me to be on the autism spectrum. I can relate so much to this. I don’t like myself when I’m dysregulated. I don’t like myself because I have bad days. I don’t like myself because I cry. I don’t like myself because I get mad. I often seek shame, guilt and judgment for feeling dysregulated, having a bad day, or crying or being mad. I also seek guilt and shame for not communicating my feelings to someone. I only care about myself when I’m happy.
Sorry you have been struggling lately. I became severely regulated recently. but I'm coming back from it. the only thing that helps me is meditation. But another thing i did (previously) was to not worry about tomorrows events. It greatly eased feelings of shame, guilt, judgement and remorse. hope that helps in some way. Peace Seinna.
@@gothboschincarnate3931 I love meditation! I use meditation a lot! Honestly, the way I’m feeling right now, it’s not the worst. I felt way worse than this. And I can easily get back on the train again. I don’t have as many bad days as I used to. I guess what I’m really trying to say is I expect myself to be happy 24/7 and to never struggle, never have obstacles. And if I do struggle, I want shame for that. Because I’m not supposed to do that. I’m supposed to be happy every single day of my life now. I’m fighting for my dreams. I’m in a better environment. I’m around people who truly love, understand, and care about me. I’m in therapy. I take music therapy, which I love so deeply! So why am I having bad days? Why am I struggling? Why am I angry? Why do I cry? Why do I have this diagnosis of complex trauma still? I’m healing. So I should be cured of that.
@@gothboschincarnate3931 oh my gosh! I just read through your whole comment. And I love it! I think you do a damn good job!
@@siennaprice1351 I have had PTSD for more than 40 years. It is much better than it was before but it still gets to me occasionally. All humans cry and have bad days. No human being on earth is happy 24/7. If you are always happy then you would be a robot!
@@Catlily5 I’ll admit right here. I had a good cry yesterday, it’s because I discovered something that I had to dive deeper to understand. When I was a teen, I didn’t get very much hugs from my caregiver after we had a big argument, and I didn’t get hugs when I felt off. The only person I remember giving me hugs after an argument or when I was sad was my biological mom.
Before realizing I’m autistic, and before intense gastro troubles (5+ years), coffee was a special interest to the point of writing down every single *pour* of water in grams, each coffee I drank, the temperatures of everything…filled a whole Moleskine. :\ Was very particular about beans. Purchased grinder(s), brew equipment, and *nice* coffee. Drove 6hrs each way to New York for a weekend just to attend a coffee show, etc.
One of the most helpful things I did to curtail my intake has been creating a new morning routine: 1) vitamins, protein shake. 2) wait minimum of 30 minutes, make a coffee. That small delay not only helps my body better absorb nutrients from my food (resulting in fewer cravings later), but also makes me feel like I am *choosing* to drink coffee at a point in the morning vs it being a compulsion.
This change means in practical terms that my first coffee is consumed closer to 10-11 am, and my second 12-3, and third at some point after dinner.
I love this - nothing like getting a great morning routine down
I'm enjoying a porch mug whiskey sour! In the premium metal and porcelein cup! Can you beat that!
Colin
Totally understand the desire not to be perceived and just wait things out. Thank you for sharing
I hear you. its too much man!
thank you for sharing your real thoughts and feelings
Thank you for sharing your truth about you you feel.
I have a few good days then I need real quiet time. I'm sad too, when I take my last sip of coffee. I love my coffee time so much. I got a coffee maker for my bedroom. I love the smell more than anything. My roommate gets me. Lol. Judgements free zone.❤
Hey Claire, I’m getting to porch coffee before bed.
I’ve switched to decaf coffee,
trying to cut out coffee is hard,
I try to drink tea when I can
Thanks for teaching us about crochet, I’m not familiar or skilled in fiber so it’s nice to learn new things
You’re right nothing is perfect
Thanks for letting us know about behind the scenes things, also uneven productivity is real
It’s definitely hard to keep going at times, I always say I don’t want to not be here, I just want things to change
Depression sucks
Thanks for being real with us, life is hard
I hope next week feels better for you
Have a good week Claire 💜
I probably mentioned that I went the whole of last year without coffee (because of medication) and it was awful, just awful. So happy I can drink it again. I have a filter coffee machine, which is my absolute favourite type. I make an 8 cup pot in the morning and it's normally gone by lunchtime... I use the same coffee every day, which is, and pls don't judge me here but it's the best flavour for me, Starbucks House Blend - it has all the characteristics I love and I can get it in bulk from amazon 😊😊😊
☕
I use instant decaf so that I don't deny myself Coffee Zen when I need it. Try it! (Insert Forest Gump/Coffee instead of shrimp). 😉
I planned on buying a mug this month but my rent went up without notice again. I'll try again next month. 🎉
Very real episode; I also get that feeling frequently enough.
Thanks for sharing
Thanks for being so real Claire. Can totally relate.
Thank you for all you do and for your authenticity. I can definitely relate to sometimes not wanting to have to be OK 👍🏼
Just be you! That’s all you can be!
great point
Everyday life is just too much sometimes. I totally understand how you feel.
thanks for understanding
You can spray the shawl with a bit of stiffener if you want it to hold itself a bit more! Works great.
that is a great idea! i actually did that. When I got it pinned out I sprayed it with water one more time and then misted with a little starch and left it to dry
I can drink about 6-8 cans of diet coke a day, I know I shouldn't, I can't function without it, I have tried several times to stop. It's defo an ASD/ADHD thing. I agree, I feel like an addict when I start to panicky as I have non in the house!
feeling the exact same way today ❤️ thanks for making it a little less lonely.
glad i am not alone.
I so get it. Hope you get plenty of space and time to recharge.
Drinking tea on my porch with you this morning. Used to drink coffee but had to switch for lots of reasons lol. But I enjoyed tea anyway so easy switch but I do miss coffee occasionally. But loose leaf tea is so fun.
I did love the spoons short and the shawl is soooo pretty.
I enjoyed hearing you talk about crochet. It's fun to hear people talk about their hobbies. I also leave mistakes here and there in my crochet as well 🤣
Still a new youtuber, but if I don't have videos up- it has been so far because I'm having a rough time with my chronic illnesses and mental illnesses cause of spring. - like for the last month. Hoping to feel better and get back to it soon.
You're allowed to just be. I have to repeat this to myself a lot cause the internal ableism is loud lately.
Autism is a lot. And anything else on top of it feels like overkill, yet most autistics have comorbidities. Super frustrating and exhausting. Thanks for talking about it.
Hi Laura, I really like your videos. I am inspired by your attitude of self-care.
Perfectly valid thoughts, I totally get it. Sometimes shutting the world out is a good way of being able to reassess, evaluate and process the stuff that happens to and around us. My week started off OK I managed to be up on time and so did the youngest, he's doing his SATs this week so he's in school an hour earlier every day for free breakfast and a nice wash start in to the day, oh yes and a car shot the red-light this morning while I was in the middle of the road crossingn over with the youngest, we narrowly avoided being run over, so I suppose I'm glad we didn't cross a few seconds later! On this occasion, it would have been good to have been perceived 😊. I hope the rest of your week is peaceful and productive. 😊
I have anxiety and it's easy for me to overdo caffeine. One cup is usually perfect for me and two is typically the max. But if I'm particularly anxious, I've had to be more careful.
Morning ☕️
Good Morning Kelly
Hi, Claire. I think it's okay to not always feel okay. I appreciate your honesty and relate to a lot of what you say. For what it's worth, this internet friend likes you, even if there are times when you don't like yourself.
Coffee puts me to sleep and/or sends me to the bathroom for some of the day. You're super cute Claire and we all love you. Hang in there, take it a day at a time.
I also do not feel great lately. A lot of stress and busy life the past few months has tired me out. It's ok to not be ok sometimes.
I understand how you feel and can feel the same way at times. It felt like a relief to hear you put into words what it can be like. I'm not diagnosed but have enough autistic traits for things to be difficult at times, along with time of life stuff. You describe things really well even if it doesn't always feel that way for you. Thank you 🥰
Had to look up idiom now... thanks Claire.
I'm not usually drinking anything when watching porch coffee as it's usually the PM. when I do it's white no sugar - instant. ADHD. instant. tried other ways but doesn't last. instant. Just boiling the water is pushing it.
If someone who knits is a knitter then someone who crochets is a crochetter (pronounce crowschitter). Internet joke I saw.
recovery update: I've more energy the last few days. I'm guessing I've regrown enough liver to account for that. Still have pain but this isn't quite as bad so have had a few better nights sleeping which has helped (but not last night). Guts still playing up but not quite as bad overall. Very much relating to the just want it to stop vibe - 'sitting in it with ya' made me smile thanks.
I've been taking a break from coffee because it's been hurting my tum. Luckily I also love tea, so that's my bev of choice. Feel you on the feeling blue but not wanting to worry people because there's nothing to worry about. I don't think as a culture we are particularly good about feeling, well anything that isn't some form of amazing. And even though it is completely normal and ok, it definitely can make people feel uncomfortable and like they need to fix something. And for me, most of the time, it's just a signal I need a little extra quiet and a little extra care in some way. I think it's great you are listening to what your body is telling you that you need Claire! Have a great week!
Thank you for your mission, Claire.
thanks for always supporting me pass
Some of the things you talked about in this video, Claire, with your anxiety and how you sometimes feel like sitting in a corner locking out the world, it's very relatable and you must be able to comfortably do what you need to in those moments. I'm sure many of us watching/listening to you on your channel are patient to wait for content from you and it's really nice to hear your truth 🤗
It's all so relatable ...the need to just Be and that's ok 🖖
yes
Hi Claire. First of all, I hope you are ok. Second, I very much relate to your words. I have really struggled lately due to various issues (some very real, some perhaps of my own paranoid creation). And I didn't realise until a colleague told me, but apparently it's really noticeable and obvious when I am having a particularly tough time and people do worry about me ( including family and friends), which in many ways is a beautiful thing, and something I am trying to appreciate more fully as time goes on.
I know you already know this, but this wonderful community really cares about your wellbeing and I know everyone wishes you love, happiness and peace. (Also, high quality coffee! 😊)
Both of your shawls are beautiful ❤
Thank you I am hoping to sell them and find them new homes.
hugs.... I like who I am, I just wish I was better at it.
i like the way you put that
Thank you for sharing Claire. So much is relatable in what you are saying. Not only is this not a downer experience to listen to, but while I'm not feeling so good right now, I very much appreciate the kindness and genuineness you're able to express about how that is for yourself. Despite this all just being conveyed and received via TH-cam I feel meaningfully seen and understood and not as lonely about how I'm feeling in my situation, in which I don't feel seen or understood.
Your introductory speech always makes me wonder, why is it that so many of us struggle with friendships and maintaining them?. Is it as simple as communication differences and masking/unmasking?. Thank you for sheering Claire, and I think I understand wath you are saying. Life can be so hard and and having to deal with it is too much.
My week has been better now that I am out of a 2-3 weeks burnout. Really finding joy in my gym routine again :)
It’s a mix of the above. Plus friendships take maintenance which I usually forget. People might not hear from me for months. Not because I don’t care I just forget to send a message. That takes active thinking making time to check in with people.
I have sleep disorders and anxiety disorders, but I still like me some coffee from time to time. Sometimes one has to pay to play ...
i hear you there
Today is my 50th birthday. Obviously I’ve been around long enough for my family to know this. I would add friends to this, but of course I don’t have any of those. I live on my own. I’ve not received any messages, cards or had any support offered by anyone at all. Yet I feel just like you Claire. I don’t feel bad about me, or how I perceive anyone. I’ll enjoy my day alone, doing whatever I want. It’s how they perceive me. I’m the odd one. And that’s what makes me sometimes want to give up. I’d love a cure for whatever it is I have (ASD diagnosed at 48). 🇬🇧
Happy Birthday to you! 🎂 🥳 🎈
Happy late birthday 🎇🎂🎇
Thank you for your honesty about how you're feeling. I get it. I have days and times during even "happy" days where i feel i need to just step back because I just am not feeling my best in the moment. Sometimes I cannot even process. I just have to be.
This week we did have some appointments and everyone is sick in my house but we are taking time for extra rest which feels good.
I know what you mean. Sometimes even self perception is too much. 😮
yes!
Especially self perception, in my case!
It’s hard to live with the rhythms of life but you are right to just sometimes let the ‘downs’ just be. They pass. They’re not wrong. They’re just part of a cycle. Telling myself that more than you. You’re wonderful in all your shades. Thank you for the gentle human experience of porch coffee x
Alone time was a lifesaver for me. I definitely get it.
Hi Claire. I’m sorry that you’re going through a rough time. I hope you can get through it quickly. I have a hard time being alone when I’m depressed or upset. My instinct is to reach out. But then I become too much for people and lose friends. That was a factor in my breakup with my ex best friend. Lately I haven’t felt the need to reach out as much. I’ll realize I’m enjoying listening to music or something else. And that I would have to stop listening to it in order to call someone. I’m aware of being like that and its progress.
As far as coffee, I have one cup in the morning with breakfast. I drink Cafe Bustelo. In case you’re not familiar with that it’s a Mexican espresso. I don’t know the difference when it’s brewed like coffee but it’s ground finer. You can get it at the regular grocery store and it’s not expensive. My ex friend who I mentioned above introduced me to it but I’m still able to drink it.
I’m thinking about getting a different therapist. Nothing egregious going on but she says things that make me feel invalidated. And she has gotten defensive when I try to give her feedback about it. I’m looking for a therapist that specializes in autism and trauma and takes Medicare. There’s only a few in my area at least on Psychology Today. I called and left a voicemail and it said she’d get back to me in two business days but it’s been longer than that. I see my therapist again today and I have a feeling that she will terminate me when I tell her that I am looking for a different therapist. I’m nervous about seeing her.
Otherwise I’m doing pretty good. I’m doing really well with cleaning. The other night I did queer line dancing. It’s hard with sneakers instead of cowboy boots and I did something to my knee.
I think it was when I almost fell but caught myself.
I’m working on balance with my occupational therapist because I sometimes lose my balance and sometimes even fall. Earlier last week I fell in my backyard and hit my head on the security bars on the window. I am fine. I called 911 and went to the ER but I’m okay. But I need to be careful because I live alone.
Anyway sorry this was so long. I hope you and everyone have a good week.
100% with you on coffee and the role it plays. I cut mine down to two a day after having a stroke but those two are part of my daily ritual (cafetiere in the morning, pourover after lunch). I like lighter roast though, I'm into the fruitier stuff :D
What you said about needing to find the things that work for you and make you happy when you have mental health issues...that resonated so hard.
I'd love to drink coffee but it triggers my migraines! I substitute with a bit of dark chocolate - for theobromine and caffeine of course - high in fat too unfortunately. Thanks for your honesty. It's a daily issue for me - autism, always has been and will be going into the future. I'd love to walk away sometimes (well often). I really get it. It's not negative it just "is". I don't get to self-hate stage because I don't have a strong feeling of self (which leaves loads of time and energy for special interests). I do say sometimes (well often) I hate my life. Let it be. Just now I'm at peace with it. Best wishes for the week Claire.
Totally relating. In the least perceiving way possible lol. But seriously.
Visiting when they don't have coffee...nightmare. The visiting, I mean.
The horror of it.
cracking me up lol
It's absolutely okay to feel the way you're feeling! Sending love and hugs!
Last week I had to be in a 2 day in person meeting and it was messy for me internally being perceived for that long by that many people. I'm out of the habit of armoring up each day since I mainly work from home. Oof, it was rough. So yeah, I do feel comforted by your porch coffee this week. ❤
sorry that sounds rough
Your experience is very relatable. When I have this mood, the way I express it to people around me while not wanting to worry them is, "I'm so tired, I just want to hibernate. If I could, I would sleep for an eternity." The mood comes and goes, I don't always feel that way. But I do feel it often.
Good morning Claire!
I have to be very strict with my coffee or I tend to go overboard. (Maybe a ridiculous thought but can drinking coffee be a form of stimming?) my routine is one cup in the morning, no caffeine after noon, and that’s it.
I totally understand that feeling of not wanting to be perceived. I’m obviously no content creator, but I’m still trying to figure out how many social situations I can tolerate at a time. It’s something I really struggle to explain to my therapist so it’s good to hear you talk about it as well.
I don’t believe there is research saying that coffee or in particular drinking something is a stim. How ever there is anecdotal evidence that some find it grounding. I used to drink a lot of coffee now I just drink a lot of green tea or water with a bit of flavoring.
I've been told by different holistic doctors that I've gone to that you gotta let go of your coffee.I said no I don't and I won't because if I do I will hit my breaking point. Lol I figure I don't drink. Don't do drugs. I have had to give up so much of my life due to sensitivities, Coffee is my
Sanity, I drink it first thing in the morning. It relaxes me. I look forward to it. And I also get disappointed when I'm done. And I get extremely excited when I realized I haven't had my morning coffee yet.
I like to drink a low acid coffee because it's easier on my gut.And I add a lot of almond creamer. I take my coffee with me everywhere.
My husband will even remind me to make sure I have my coffee.
It is a whole morning ritual for me and it It is something that I look forward to every day.I will not give it up LO.L
Honestly, I think periods of hibernation (which is what I call those wait-for-time-to-pass periods) are a regular part of depression and burnout avoidance. If I get stuck in them, and the rest no longer feels restful, but it’s all I can do, then I talk to my psych about my meds, but I think it’s important to just let ourselves rest sometimes. Thanks for being honest and kind to yourself about it.
I’ve been trying to decide if I REALLY want to start a project with lace weight yarn, or if I’m being ridiculous - because it’s going to be a looooong project. But maybe that’s good for hibernating.
this is my first time using something this thin and it took so long
Coffee is definitely a thing that makes everything okay. And I don't go anywhere where there's none first thing in the morning - well, not really leaving the house much anyway 😂 Beautiful shawl btw and the spoons made me giggle. I love you're working through the "too much" and it's not easy so thank you for sharing. I'm going through it also and be okay with sitting in the process.
When so much of the "normal" world is unknowingly attacking you, sometimes you just gotta throw the towel in.
Girl I hear you!!!! I struggle so much and I have a hard to to rest! I took 2 weeks off from Porch Chat. I get so burned out so fast! Sending you a hug my friend!
I could relate to what you shared about wanting to be in a corner . Not having to take care of yourself. Wanting quiet. Thank you for putting light to how I have felt by sharing where you have been. Makes me feel less alone . I too feel at times it’s too much and I want it to be over and with no intentions to hurt myself or be of danger to myself , just want things to feel less difficult and overwhelming.
Can I relate to that? This whole episode I'm screaming YES!!!!!
good to know i am not alone
I am in a very similar place with my Autism, ADHD GAD and Depression. I understand completely how you are feeling as I feel the same things you describe. You're not alone.
french press for me!! I can choose how fine the grind is (hand grinder), how long it's in the water, etc. It's a matter of control!! hahah xD . Medium roasted, very hot, that gives you that acidic/astringent taste that is lost in dark roasted. But I haven't drunk in a while. As alternative I always have strong, black leaf tea and "mate" (typical in this part of the globe, more "exotic" outside of South America) That last one is an acquired taste, the bitterness is difficult for the "newbies", but it's as powerful as coffee.
.
A few days ago I read something that made a lot of sense , the idea that you can love yourself (everyone knows their strengths and weaknesses) but that self-esteem goes down when we have to deal with everyone's expectations, the outside world. And surely that has to do with trauma, rejection sensitivity, or learned hopelessness. But it's difficult to deal with that discrepancy, since sometimes it seems that everyone ends up disappointed, "you do not meet expected standard of a **(insert any category/stereotype: gender, age, socioeconomic status, etc.)"
It IS too much. Even on the good days, it's A LOT. it's so so exhausting.
Ebb and flow of life 😊
So glad to have discovered your channel! Feel so nice being in this community of fellow neurospicey heads - feels like we’re all hanging out in your internet living room 😁
I'm drinking chai so I guess that makes me a rebel. Thanks for sharing your thoughts AND for luring me in with the promise of 5 fixes for ASD.
chai is so good!
@@WoodshedTheory I def recommend Kolkata's chai mixes if anyone's looking for a blend... making it is a fun morning ritual :)
Not 5 tips but 1 piece of good advice. It's okay not to be okay. For this week I have too many projects I want to do. I'm in the phase where there are a lot of ideas in my head and very little execution. It's hard to focus. Little concentration. Also distracted with exploring video making. In any case, there is still a lot of sowing and building a chicken coop on the program this week. I'm also a black coffee drinker and had to laugh about camping. So recognizable.. At the point where you're making coffee with clean socks. In addition, there is theater on the menu this week. Be gentle and kind.🤗
Omg the shawl is so beautiful! Great color choices!!
Thank you! 😊
Sending 💜
I think we can all relate. I've been struggling a lot.
hope you feel better soon
I am particular about my coffee too. I tend to prefer light/medium roasts at this point, lots of interesting flavors to explore. Do you get your beans from a local roaster that you like? I have a subscription with one near me which makes it easier for me. Do you watch James Hoffman on YT? I've learned a lot of my coffee knowledge from him.
I feel like everything is too much a lot of the time. Its a hard feeling. My kids keep me going. And pets. I deal with A.S and IBS too which can get really draining to deal with.
Hi Claire, it's been a few Porch Coffees that I haven't commented but today I'm going to tell that it's okay to not feel okay, it's okay to dedicate extra time to just to take a step back to process, you may need it more than you realized, mental health shouldn't be rushed. These are all things I am struggling to navigate too. From my experience dedicate time to not your heart beat like it's on overdrive, to re-observe the baseline anxiety, to reconnect the senses within myself, and not fighting demand avoidance like everyday.
thanks for saying this
I feel this to my core this week. I am so sensitive to everything and its exhausting, I had dental work and then a bee stung me on my head the next day. Im fine im not allergic but I'm in pain, and frustrated and so exhausted. I have nothing left to give so I've had to cancel things for the rest of the week to get back to balance.
Love your work Clare !! ❤❤❤
@18: -20j ish I get it. I can't articulate it either. All I have been able to do is write up an after-plan for.myself, so if I do indulge in it, I have instructions for the minimum expectations for when I resume adult-ing, and eventually people-ing. Because after such a residency in my cave, I expext that'll be hard to conceive of.
Hi internet friend, Here a little late as I was visiting family and my parent's internet sucks. It was so sad that I did not have my porch coffee with you last week.
I hope the trip goes well
Just be you, it's ok to not be ok all the time. Changed my handle - Lesley W