Jeez four years ago. I remember watching the original video and I remember how much it stuck with me. Didn't realize I've been watching for that long. I guess thanks for all the pods and videos, I think you've genuinely helped shape who I am as a person for the better to some degree. It sounds goofy to say since you're mainly the minion goober haha dibby but over the years the genuine sincerity has counted where it matters from things like sexuality, addiction, general life struggles and just straight up showing compassion for people, I think has had some sort of personal impact for me to be more open and honest with myself. I didn't quite intend to write anything like this aside from just commenting on the passage of time so I want to cap it off as a general thanks for the comedy, entertainment, and being honest where it counts over the years.. Thanks Jar.
A mental health crisis like this is a lot like a nuke going off. Surviving the nuke is an achievement, for sure, but there's so much fallout that comes afterward - the fight for survival is just beginning. People don't seem to realize that, and I've struggled with being treated by my family as though I should be "over it" because that "phase" is over. I survived the nuke, but there's a hell of a lot of fallout from a crisis of suicidality. Suicidal ideation wears you down to almost nothing, and if you survive it, you've almost got to build yourself back up from scratch in many ways. There's no undoing the nuke and there's no going back to being the person you were before. James and I have been making this journey almost simultaneously, though he's a bit further down the road than I am, which I appreciate, because watching him continue and progress gives me hope for myself, and it makes me feel as though I'm not doing this alone. I appreciate how open all of you guys are about your mental health, most especially James. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself, James, it's had an enormous impact on me.
I recently got out of an emotionally abusive relationship. I have managed to cut contact with the abusive person for 5 months. I count the days because I feel very numb and it seems like my only goal is to survive. I remember watching James talk about his mental health the first time round, before I got into the relationship. Now I feel as if I have a better perspective as to how damaging those types of relationships can be. In my mind I try to rationalise it to make it seem like it was like any other breakup, but I know there's a lot of trauma I will have to work through. I'm glad I'm not alone with this. I'm glad that you've included an update, because I always feel strange that I haven't "gotten over" my relationship, and that I'm still stuck with the same destructive brain patterns. Today is my birthday, I am 20. I have to remind myself that I will grow up and meet better people and things will change.
I never imagined the same boys who can go on for hours about the political complexities of mad 2 would also be able to make me tear up with a send off as beautiful as it was. Thanks for this video jar, and thank you James for having the strength and the courage to move forward and grow as a person despite every struggle. I have been a fan on the brain for a year now, but today you mingers won my heart
2 years ago I got recommended the original Where has James been vid and it honestly did save my life. I won’t go into detail but I owe the cast a lot and I’m glad you guys talk about this stuff.
James, you are so brave and amazing for talking about your trama so openly to us. Unfortunately I can’t watch the whole thing because it’s too triggering for myself. This tells me so much about your character that your able to talk about something so heavy . 2021 was probably one of the worst years of my life. I had to be in a mental hospital for a week. Im still dealing with a lot mental problems and have been my whole life. People like you are the reason this world is a little bit brighter. You are never alone ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I hope for you that, even if recovery takes a while, your pain eases over time. Tt can often seem like too much of a hurdle to overcome to think about being healed completely, but I hope that you are able to gradually feel better in even small ways. Things will continue to improve for you, even when there are downs there will be ups as well. It applies to you too, that you are never alone
Shit what James is saying about where he is at right now is eerily similar to where I was a few years ago. With my mental health, I thought I could "fix myself". Good diet, exercise, positive thinking etc etc. And to a certain point it did feel like i had recovered. But i wasnt until my latest sessions of therapy that I realised I'd only scratched the surface. Talking to a professional made me really dig deep to find what the real core issues were so I could work on them and create tools for me to use when I would slip into a bad state. Not going to lie to you James but the next step is going to be tough; probably the toughest. But man if you put the work in, you can get so much more stronger on the otherside. I'm an example of this. I took around a decade to get to where I'm at know with my mental health and thankfully I know now I am fully recovered. You can do the same and wish you all the best. Much love from NZ.
Takes absolutely massive courage to be open with this with all of us. Been a fan since the Unty Zula days and I've loved every bit of seeing you guys week by week. Thank you guys for talking so openly about this kind of thing, it's really important and helps us more than you know. Glad to hear you're doing better lads
I was probably about 16/17 when I watched the first video and I remember it being my first proper experience with the idea that someone you know could have so much going on behind the scenes that you're not privy too. Up to that point I hadn't had any struggles with my own mental health, but it was an eye-opening thought that a friend or family member could be so close to a breaking point without letting on. Since then I've had some rough periods with anxiety and depression whilst at uni which I, somewhat ironically, hid from the people around me until I literally ran out of money due to substance abuse. Nowadays I'm mostly back on track and while those years definitely changed the trajectory of my life, they also reaffirmed just how important talking about this sort of thing is. It was always easier for me to lie and pretend things were ok, but in doing so it made the problems so much worse than they would've been if I'd just talked to someone sooner. In the last year I've had friends who've struggled with their own issues that they, thankfully, were open to talking about, and I recommended therapy to the them as well. Although, like you've said in the video, it can be a nightmare to get an appointment. If anyone reading this is going to university in the UK though, I cannot recommend enough that you take advantage of the mental health support services they provide. It's one of the only places where you can semi-reliably get at least some of the help you might need and, in my experience at least, it was easy to access the help when I needed it. Much love to the JAR boys, these two videos and the discussion of mental health on the posdact have been a massive help in coming to terms with my own issues and I wish you all the best.
Thankyou for talking so openly about mental health on the cast, as someone who has always struggled to convey and talk about their feelings (literally just "freezing up" when I was younger) it means a lot to hear other people who have also been through mental health issues and how they dealt with them.
Been a viewer for 5+ years but in the past years James has become my favourite member of JAR. Great that you're airing out these issues from behind the scenes recently and I hope it helps James enjoy filming JAR episodes more going forward
I'm only about 20 minutes in, but I think James talking about self destructing after drinking is something I do aswell. The way he described it struck a cord with me and made me have like a "oh shit I do that" moment and I didn't realise that's what it was until he described his experience with it. When I'm depressed sometimes, I'll go to the shop and buy a bottle of vodka, and spend the night drinking the whole thing and wallowing in my own sadness. I haven't done it in a while, but if certain things happen during the day, I'll have an uncontrollable urge to buy a bottle and finish it in a few hours. Thank you James for talking about your experiences. I remember watching the first video all those years ago and relating to how you were feeling at the time, and all these years later it's good to see you're doing better, and I'm doing better too. But everyone has there bad days, it's how you chose to take those bad days that matters. I hope you get the help you need my guy, much love
I have been rewatching old Jarcasts and in some casts James is on his phone like he always was back then. I think it was Ruben who made a joke about James messaging a girl. That comment hits different now that I know the story.
As someone who has struggled with mental disorders pretty terribly (especially in 2021), hearing James be so open is genuinely really comforting and helpful. The JAR boys are unironically the most real people on this platform, much love
Dear James, you are so strong and brave, not only for sharing your personal demons, but also for fighting them. I'm so thankful that you are still with us. Personally JAR has helped me through the worst time in my life, when I too was on the verge of giving up on my life. The medication I was given to help me regulate my emotions ruined my sleep, every night I would wake up in the middle of the night and was unable to fall asleep until the morning, when I started to fill the hours with the cast in the background I was able to gradually sleep more(not full nights but better than nothing). Today I'm off the meds, I feel much better, I can sleep full nights for the most part, whenever I have trouble sleeping I just put a cast and drift off. I still have my bad days but I will never try to destroy myself the way I did. Thank you so much James, without you (and the Beltman boys) I dont think I would have become the person I am today. I hope you'll heal soon and I'm sure you'll come out sronger.
I honestly can't think of anybody else who is able to speak about things so candidly as you guys are (and specifically james here). I think it's a really important thing to have people like you discussing this stuff openly, especially related to abuse by a partner (which is something men rarely ever talk about).
James! I have a lot of experience with therapy (although in the US) and just wanna say its super important that if you find that your first therapist doesn’t help, definitely don’t give up. I’ve been through half a dozen at this point just because at a certain point I felt they either didn’t understand where I was coming from or were giving unhelpful advice. The first one I went to told me I should just start going for runs to stop depression and anxiety when I’m already fairly active. Another one didn’t see eye to eye with me on my sexuality so that was a big turn off. It’s worth just going through as many as you can until you find one you feel truly comfortable with, and one that you think is truly helping you. The difference is genuinely night and day. I wish you the best in your journey! I started just as anxious to make that first step and now I’m a completely new person mentally, thinking of you homie!
It's surprising how a good or bad therapist can do for us. I remember one of the occasion I was completely fed up with my meds and went to a therapist telling them how I didn't want to take them anymore and just want to suicide to end it all, and this goddamn therapist, instead of trying to understand why I would feel so, just made me promise to take the pills or they wouldn't let me go, and just called it case closed. I seriously don't understand how these people got their license, but then you also have these very cool ones that could really help you clear your mind and actually be suggesting helpful ways to deal with situations. So yea never give up trying to find a better/more suiting therapist, because they do exist (although sometimes hard to encounter).
I had a similar experience during the first major lockdown period of covid, had a toxic relationship end in a very jarring way (no pun intended) but something that I’ve picked up recently that I would recommend is martial arts. I’ve joined a mixed martial arts and have been spending three days a week doing Jiu Jitsu, Muay Thai, and boxing and its done wonders for my mental health. It’s a really honest way to work on yourself, both psychologically and physically, and it is a great escape from the mundane depressing world sometimes. The culture around it and the people I’ve met are all very down to earth and supportive of everyone in the gym regardless of skill level or level of athleticism. If either of you are ever feeling down on yourself and need a new hobby or escape to stay away from substances is highly recommended.
Very long time viewer, 5 or 6 years and I remember the original video which at the time I sympathized with but didn’t totally relate to. This follow up is so well spoken and, unfortunately for me, relatable now and I’m so grateful that this is a topic you guys have decided to talk about. I like to laugh but this is extremely important. Good luck to you james, you’re very strong and I respect you so much :)
Waited forever for this, so excited its out, I nearly ended my life in October 2021 after dealing with it since January 2021. I'm taking meds and finally I'm doing alright. The first of these videos helped me through it, I'd listen on repeat. James is one of my hero's.
Your original video and now this both hit incredibly close. Up until last month I was going through something very similar to what you described, panic attacks, constant hyperventilating, sleeping for hour long intervals, emotional numbing followed by emotional outbursts. Thank you for going into this James, it means a lot, and your experiences are helping lots of people.
I have a tremenious amount of respect for you, James. It takes a huge amount of courage to be this open and honest about your experiences and your mental health. Thank you so much for sharing them. Much love
I've just gotten around to finishing this pod. I didn't notice I had tears in my eyes until it ended. I don't know what to say, but it's very meaningful to me to hear others talk about getting better. It makes me think of how far I've come, and gives me hope that I'll go farther. That closing note by James was one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. Thankyou for sharing this. I think it makes a real impact, and I have immense respect for James, as well as Alex and Jamie for sharing aspects of your mental health.
Been waiting for this, James has always been the wisest of JAR imo and always had the courage to talk about serious topics that have affected him despite any stigma or embarrassment, and has always unapologetically been himself. Much love to James❤️
I'm so happy that James is doing well, hope all the JAR boys are. I just wanted to comment on anti-depressants. I have had depression, social and general anxiety, and suicidal tendencies for years. I've been seeing a therapist for around 6 or more years now. While therapy is an IMMENSE help, sometimes it isn't always enough. I was also super against anti-depressants and/or taking medication for my issues. But after several discussions with my therapist about it, she convinced me to at least consider it. After several blood tests and some expensive brain scans(? I'm not sure if they were MRI's or what, but some procedure where they scanned my brain activity), it was found that some part of my brain wasn't producing enough of a certain hormone that it's supposed to. I can't remember the exact details, as this was years ago. But even though I was essentially taking all the right steps, it wasn't helping as much as it could have been, because my brain physically wasn't working properly. No amount of therapy would have changed how much hormones my brain was producing. My main point here is that sometimes even if you do everything right, your body just might not be working properly for some reason. As much as I didn't want to be on anti-depressants, the fact that my brain wasn't properly functioning was too much evidence to support the benefits of taking medication to try to rectify things that weren't working as they should. Sometimes you can't do anything about it, and it's just your body not working as it should. So just try to keep that in mind when considering anti-depressants. Since getting on them (4 years ago), I've noticed a seriously significant difference in mood and trains of thought. It wasn't a miracle cure or anything, and no anti-depressants will be, but they've helped correct the imbalances in my brain so that I won't be at such a disadvantage against my thoughts and feelings. I'm obviously no medical expert. But I hope my words maybe make you consider something that you maybe haven't yet, James. I hope you continue to get better and I'll always be cheering for you no matter what. Much love, man.
Watching this inspired me to write a massive walkthrough on my mental health over the years- but I decided to just let it sit with myself for a while instead of sharing here. Nonetheless the video helped me reflect and give a lot of clarity- particularly in relation to both of your experiences. So I just wanted to say that JAR’s sincerity when it comes to this topic has helped me a lot. Also, thanks for touching on mental health and it’s relationship with the UK healthcare system, because the government over the past ten years has extorted public mental health and counselling resources- preventing the system from having a beneficial holistic approach and providing effective long-term resources to the millions of us that are affected.
I can't believe it's been four years already, I remember being so concerned for James and it was heartbreaking to hear this from a personality I've followed for so long. James' improvement is so inspiring and his courage in discussing it has done so many of us a great service. Thankyou James, and the other two for being supportive friends :)
Not long after you made that video 4 years ago, I had my own massive mental health incident. I spiraled and lost all my friends, destroyed so many good things in my life. When covid happened I was able to take months off and just rest, work on my mental health and think about what actually mattered to me. Your videos helped me through that and although I'll probably always struggle with my mental health on some level, I'm so grateful that there are people like you guys who are willing to talk about it
hi james and alex! im just about to turn 20 and my mental health was the biggest focus of my teen years. i only realised a year or two ago that an event in my childhood had traumatised me in a lot of aspects of my life, leading me to go down even bigger rabbit holes and ruining relationships in my life. after nearly losing the most important relationship in my life i decided that 2022 had to be the year i had to learn how to confront myself with my mood swings and my increased emotions. i completely relate to you with having to change things in your life, ie your car and your job. ive had to make new social media accounts and delete apps from my phone and blacklist words, names, phrases from my phone, ive even dropped out of uni and bought a new wardrobe of clothes basically to remove the memories associated with certain clothes. these boundaries have helped me so so much and im glad to see the changes youve made in your life have a positive influence on how you feel on day to day bases. ive also started consuming cbd, and valerian root tablets are an absolute lifesaver for me! it is hard to feel like youre fighting yourself sometimes just to feel okay, but both of us are so strong for being able to overcome any of it at all in any regard. 2022 is our year !!!!!! lots of love
James makes an excellent point regarding the Samaritans. While they won't turn you away, the helpline is meant to be a 'first point of contact' for those who might be at immediate risk of suicide or self-harm rather than long-term support.
Thank you for being comfortable enough to talk about this. I’m sure there are people who have been though similar situations without being able to communicating it to others.
Hey James, I'm glad things are getting better for you, I've been struggling with severe mental health issues for years, and the moment I got help and started my path forward, my life has been slowly improving. From my experience it's all about sticking to the path forward, surrounding yourself with friends who understand your struggle, and you feel safe opening up to them, getting consistant professional therapy (NHS Healthy Minds 'high intensity therapy' worked great for me) and a reliable medication that provides a good balance of helping you through times of panic and intense feelings, and still feeling like yourself and not feeling like you have to rely on it souly (Propanolol works great for me). Keep going strong man, I believe in you.
i've been having a similar problem to james with sudden changes in behavior, so it was a relief to hear someone else talk about it. i've also been trying to become more loose in my expectations of life, and have been trying to push myself out of my comfort zone socially as i've never been a very socially competant person. thanks for this jarbois.
Actually, i'm having that feeling of being trapped on my mind for a long time now. I'm discovering lately emotional and very fucked up problems with myself and this video its making me to be more serious with myself and looking for help. thx lads, for me you are the only thing that make me go through the week, and im thankful for all the stuff u make. Btw James we are so proud of u.
Hey James, been a fan of the jarcast for a good couple years now and am so sorry to hear about all this. Obviously there's no substitute for therapy and everyone's different, but I've dealt with some depression in the past, and just for me personally a book called 'Happy' by Derren Brown really really helped, along with sustained reading of a lot of Stoic philosophy books (basically the philosophy of Ancient Greece and Rome) really helped me develop a much healthier way of thinking about life. Would really recommend Derren Browns book to anyone who feels like they need some help but can't get therapy. It's certainly not any kind of magic solution, but for me it helped me get on the right track again. I wish you a short road to recovery and all the best for the future! Much love.
thank you for this video. its weird to think the original was 4 years ago. time passes so quickly, and yet it feels like a decade away since I was in the place I was in 4 years ago, when it came out. it meant a lot to me at the time, for someone I looked up to so strongly, to have been experiencing similar thoughts to me. a lot has happened since then, good and bad. things got better, then they got worse, now I'm not sure how I compare to then. maybe its not even fair to compare to then. our situations are different, and yet we still share similar experiences. its hard to be diagnosed properly with anything in this country, but I believe I have some form of emotional dysregulation. the hardest part is the starting to get better proactively, rather than waiting for the feelings to pass on their own. I've been looking into dbt techniques [dialectical behavioral therapy], which is more skills and coping techniques based than traditional talking therapies. depending on how your own emotional dysregulation occurs/presents itself, this might be something to at least look into for you james. this video means a lot to me to see your progress, both the fact that you have made progress [in addition to how much better you do seem in general in jar], and also getting to see that it is that gradual process rather than the done and dusted way you touched on. thank you for sharing your journey and everything you've been through, it takes a lot of strength and courage and it does mean so much for me and a lot of others. this podcast means a lot to me, youve been such an important part of my life and have had *so* much influence on me. I can't even put it into words. thank you for everything. I could write so much more but my attention span is awful that by the time I finish typing one sentence it's gone. but in general, honestly, just thank you. thank you so much. you guys mean the world to me.
I've had toxic relationships, depression, trauma and anxiety. Opening up about it helped tremendously and I'm very happy you can be so open and help others. Thank you James and JAR 🙏
It's incredible that you guys feel confident enough to talk about mental health and personal trauma on such a public platform. I myself have seriously struggled with dissociation for a long while now and hearing anyone (especially James) talk about their experience with it means a lot to me. I wish you both all the best and hope that you continue to get better!
I just wanna say thank you Jar, for a while now ive been dealing with some pretty bad mental issues myslff and listening to your podcast has really helped me, and is something I allways look foward to listening to when I have a shitty day. Not many people actually talk about this kind of stuff alot of it is bottled up and swept under the rug so Thank you. I wish you guys all the best and I hope James is able to look back it this cast in 5 years in a better state mind.
Such a genuinely insightful and helpful video, I understand it's hard to talk about mental health so I really appreciate James being so open about his struggles even today, it makes it easier for myself to talk about my own mental health, so thanks James!
I can't say I've been personally effected by any of the types of struggles you boys detailed in this video, but I would still like to offer my thanks for recounting your trials and tribulations in the way that you have. As a long long term jarling who has listened to countless hours of you guys rambling over the years, I feel like by listening to you talking about your mental states and how you've handled the harder times I will be able to better relate to the people I know are struggling in my own life, and will be able to be a better friend for it. So yeah thanks again and I hope you chaps continue to take care of yourselves. Lots of love ❤️
As someone who has suffered a lot of the same issues throughout my life, I want to thank you James, you're an incredibly strong person for talking about this so candidly, and with such positivity as well. It's truly inspiring.
Hey guys. I've only just managed to watch the first part of this video now as I've had a rough period recently and didn't have the fortitude to watch a video like this but I just wanted to say how proud I am of James for talking about all this. You guys have been apart of my life for since my early teen days and I will always treasure this channel, I have had times where I watch less than other times but I always come back, as I feel like JAR will probably always be something I will consider a big part of why I am the way I am today. Take care of eachother.
One thing depression has taught or enhanced about me is empathy. Empathy for people's sadness, loss, and anger. While I try not to feed into or off of other people's negative emotions, I do understand them. And I let them know they aren't alone. I do this because I have so often felt alone and cold that I often I find myself saying or thinking I don't love anyone. But I do like some people I want them to have just at least an extra hour or so of a good day. Because I would prefer if I left a positive impression on people than a negative one as I don't feel it's fair for me to add to what stuff is going on in their lives.
I remember watching the original video when it first came out. I haven't listened to this podcast in years and just randomly thought of it today and came across this video. I'm sorry things are still difficult for you right now but I'm glad things have improved. You've improved so much, James.
Doesn't even feel like it's been 4 years lol, been sort of looking for this video considering the global and personal issues of mine and of you lot Keep it poppin, this is exactly the type of stuff I luv about Jar
Thank you for speaking about this. I've also struggled with my mental health for a long time. I'm the best now I've been in maybe 15 years and I've only recently articulated that the answer to "am I depressed?" is and might for a long time still be "always kind of but not really" (aka it gets better but the work never stops). It's so nice to hear such candid thoughts, without sugar coating but also without doom and gloom. I sincerely hope that you guys will find a good therapy-spot and that you'll continue to get better. Again, thank you for providing this platform and, on a personal note, for cheering me up for the past 6 years while I was fighting to get better. I appreciate it a lot, as many other do. Cheers! P.S. I know James said that he isn't fond of the idea of medication but I've recenlty started taking antidepressants because I, too, struggle with nightmares (I can't stress enough how much of a struggle this is) and would encourage him to not dismiss it entirely. Be sceptic and maybe steer clear from the addictive stuff, but not being afraid of falling asleep anymore is a huge relief.
long time viewer, first time commenter. Just want to say thank you to you pair for being so honest and open about your experiences. I'm the kind of person who immediately falls into the "its just hippie bullshit' mindset when people talk about meditation and the likes. Ive had long term personal issues with managing stress (nothing overly serious but god is it exhausting) and it's really valuable to hear these kinds of conversations from people who seem so down to earth and "normal" for lack of a better word (not that you guys are in any way normal given half the conversations ive heard on jar over the years haha). But yeah, keep up the good work. Hope things continue to look up for James, he definitely deserves it. Would also like to say that Alex did a great job in helping to guide the discussion whilst still giving James the space to talk. Perhaps I may comment again in 5 years time when there's another update- but until then, try to take care of yourselves everyone :)
Excellent video, thanks for sharing! Only last month did I truly start to struggle, on a daily basis, with near-panic levels of anxiety that would be triggered, seemingly, by nothing at all. I would often feel myself choking or struggling to breathe without it relenting. Only now starting to make changes to my life, which are helping. But it’s frightening just how powerful and overwhelming a mental health crisis can be. And those “lol anxiety” people, who I once was as an edgy teen, really have no idea the depths that anxiety will take you.
Having just gone through a breakup which I caused, I have been feeling a lot of self hatred and a lot of thoughts of suicide and self harm have been crossing my mind. Listening to you boys talk about mental health and how to deal with it has been extremely helpful for me and I wanna thank you both for it
Thank you James and Alex for this. While I have never been in a relationship, I have been in a few emotionally abusive friendships, including one with a girl that I had serious feelings for. While it has been a long time since leaving those friendships, I still think about those times a lot, and it often feels like I am reliving those horrible moments. Trauma is a real bitch, and it took me the longest time to come to terms with the way I was treated. This time 4 years ago, I was in one of the most fragile states in my life, and was truly considering ending it all. While I still struggle with my mental health in some capacity, I am glad to say I have made some friends who really care and love me. It's been amazing to see how much James has grown since the original video. Jar has been a constant in my life since the first episode of the Podcast, and I have always appreciated the open approach to mental health from you guys. As Alex said in the video it isn't easy to be vulnerable, especially to an audience of thousands of people, and I truly admire James for speaking out and following up on that video. I'm so happy you are still here James and that you are doing so much better now. I apologise if this comment is a bit of a ramble, but I just wanted to share some of my own feelings and thank you guys for once again being so open. Much love to you guys.
I'm glad you've mentioned betterhelp and how bad they are. I remember years ago they were everywhere and as a response people did talk about how bad and terrible they are - but theyve been back a lot recently I've seen, and I've not seen anyone talk about them negatively.
Massive props to you guys for doing this video, some really important experiences to hear about (nice one James) and helpful advice in this video that I'm sure could help a lot of people.
i stumbled upon the first video a few weeks ago so this is impeccable timing. thanks for continuing to document your journey with wellness. normalizes it for other people and makes it less scary. ✊
One thing I always tell people when they have doubts or refuse to get therapy, is that going to it doesn't mean you're insane or broken or a worse person, it just means that you're trying to take care of yourself the same way you would if you had to go to the doctor. Only in this case it'd be to help you get better mentally and emotionally, instead of physically. Another important thing is to look for suicide prevention lines in your country. Most times they're available and for free. It might seem trivial, but having someone to talk to on such a difficult situation, even if it's just for a moment, can truly make a difference, and set you up on your path of healing. Lastly, always look for the right therapist, and a treatment that works for you. Everybody's different, and there are different approaches for it. If you had to go to a psychiatrist, and you don't want to take drugs, don't settle up for one that insist on medicating you without trying other options first. Thank you for making this, for being so strong and sincere. And especially you, James. Keep going, you're not JAR's best boy for no reason.
Hey! Wanted to chip in with my experience with online therapy. Went to docs, got propranolol (now got rid off) and was really aggressively told to get on SSRIs which I hated (thanks Tory NHS). Got therapy with Talk Liverpool which is an NHS branch in my city. And my god. The waiting times, the lack of communication and honestly, whilst zoom calls aren’t exactly very good, that first bit of support is so valuable, even if the therapist sucks. So yes, I agree that the nhs route isn’t the ideal one, but if it’s your only chance that I would recommend it anyway.
your wording and discussion of these issues is spot on and sincere love you guys and I genuinely sincerely hope you get better James were here for you !!! 💝💖💘❤
hey bruv, you're pretty cool, and you deserve happiness. I hope as time goes on these issues will become easier to deal with, and if they don't you have people close to you to help you and a fanbase backing you.
James should review A Man Called Otto. It an incredible anti-suicide movie and it would be great if he could share his personal opinions on it because of what he’s experienced.
Just wanna say from my own experience it sounds like James has made a lot of progress, IMO the most important thing for improving mental health is for you to actively take steps to improve it, and recognizing that you need the help of a professional to do so, those are things that are difficult for most people to fully come to terms with. I think if you come into therapy with that proactive mindset you will better understand what is triggering these defence mechanisms and how you can mitigate the intensity. The process itself is daunting and can be stressful but I think every session was productive in some way and it feels like a massive burden is lifted when you are just able to verbalize exactly what you are feeling. Obviously there's never an "end point" when it comes to self-improvement but I was personally able to recognize how I was fuelling my own anxiety/depression with certain habits or leaps of logic and I've been making a conscious effort to have a more constructive mindset and not go down these rabbit holes of depression. Sorry if that post was too long but I hope someone else who deals with similar issues but not sure about therapy might be encouraged by the positive story, I know for some people therapy is a lot more difficult and I can obviously only speak of my own experience
You guys are the best. I don’t really know what to say apart from this video is a perfect example of that. Mental health is obviously so important, especially with Covid, and making a video like this, especially one which is so personal, is so commendable. I am a long-time viewer, you guys are too funny. Keep doing you and spreading positivity and good vibes, as always, lol minion cringe :)
Where is he…
Jeez four years ago. I remember watching the original video and I remember how much it stuck with me. Didn't realize I've been watching for that long. I guess thanks for all the pods and videos, I think you've genuinely helped shape who I am as a person for the better to some degree. It sounds goofy to say since you're mainly the minion goober haha dibby but over the years the genuine sincerity has counted where it matters from things like sexuality, addiction, general life struggles and just straight up showing compassion for people, I think has had some sort of personal impact for me to be more open and honest with myself. I didn't quite intend to write anything like this aside from just commenting on the passage of time so I want to cap it off as a general thanks for the comedy, entertainment, and being honest where it counts over the years.. Thanks Jar.
A mental health crisis like this is a lot like a nuke going off. Surviving the nuke is an achievement, for sure, but there's so much fallout that comes afterward - the fight for survival is just beginning. People don't seem to realize that, and I've struggled with being treated by my family as though I should be "over it" because that "phase" is over. I survived the nuke, but there's a hell of a lot of fallout from a crisis of suicidality. Suicidal ideation wears you down to almost nothing, and if you survive it, you've almost got to build yourself back up from scratch in many ways. There's no undoing the nuke and there's no going back to being the person you were before.
James and I have been making this journey almost simultaneously, though he's a bit further down the road than I am, which I appreciate, because watching him continue and progress gives me hope for myself, and it makes me feel as though I'm not doing this alone. I appreciate how open all of you guys are about your mental health, most especially James. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself, James, it's had an enormous impact on me.
I recently got out of an emotionally abusive relationship. I have managed to cut contact with the abusive person for 5 months. I count the days because I feel very numb and it seems like my only goal is to survive. I remember watching James talk about his mental health the first time round, before I got into the relationship. Now I feel as if I have a better perspective as to how damaging those types of relationships can be. In my mind I try to rationalise it to make it seem like it was like any other breakup, but I know there's a lot of trauma I will have to work through.
I'm glad I'm not alone with this. I'm glad that you've included an update, because I always feel strange that I haven't "gotten over" my relationship, and that I'm still stuck with the same destructive brain patterns.
Today is my birthday, I am 20. I have to remind myself that I will grow up and meet better people and things will change.
James
James
James?
James
Indeed
James
thank you james and alex
I never imagined the same boys who can go on for hours about the political complexities of mad 2 would also be able to make me tear up with a send off as beautiful as it was. Thanks for this video jar, and thank you James for having the strength and the courage to move forward and grow as a person despite every struggle. I have been a fan on the brain for a year now, but today you mingers won my heart
James
Hi James I just wanted to say you are very strong and you are an inspiration to all of us.
2 years ago I got recommended the original Where has James been vid and it honestly did save my life. I won’t go into detail but I owe the cast a lot and I’m glad you guys talk about this stuff.
James, you are so brave and amazing for talking about your trama so openly to us. Unfortunately I can’t watch the whole thing because it’s too triggering for myself. This tells me so much about your character that your able to talk about something so heavy . 2021 was probably one of the worst years of my life. I had to be in a mental hospital for a week. Im still dealing with a lot mental problems and have been my whole life. People like you are the reason this world is a little bit brighter. You are never alone ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I hope for you that, even if recovery takes a while, your pain eases over time. Tt can often seem like too much of a hurdle to overcome to think about being healed completely, but I hope that you are able to gradually feel better in even small ways. Things will continue to improve for you, even when there are downs there will be ups as well. It applies to you too, that you are never alone
Shit what James is saying about where he is at right now is eerily similar to where I was a few years ago. With my mental health, I thought I could "fix myself". Good diet, exercise, positive thinking etc etc. And to a certain point it did feel like i had recovered. But i wasnt until my latest sessions of therapy that I realised I'd only scratched the surface. Talking to a professional made me really dig deep to find what the real core issues were so I could work on them and create tools for me to use when I would slip into a bad state.
Not going to lie to you James but the next step is going to be tough; probably the toughest. But man if you put the work in, you can get so much more stronger on the otherside. I'm an example of this. I took around a decade to get to where I'm at know with my mental health and thankfully I know now I am fully recovered. You can do the same and wish you all the best. Much love from NZ.
Thank you, James.
i fucking love you james
Takes absolutely massive courage to be open with this with all of us. Been a fan since the Unty Zula days and I've loved every bit of seeing you guys week by week. Thank you guys for talking so openly about this kind of thing, it's really important and helps us more than you know. Glad to hear you're doing better lads
I was probably about 16/17 when I watched the first video and I remember it being my first proper experience with the idea that someone you know could have so much going on behind the scenes that you're not privy too. Up to that point I hadn't had any struggles with my own mental health, but it was an eye-opening thought that a friend or family member could be so close to a breaking point without letting on.
Since then I've had some rough periods with anxiety and depression whilst at uni which I, somewhat ironically, hid from the people around me until I literally ran out of money due to substance abuse. Nowadays I'm mostly back on track and while those years definitely changed the trajectory of my life, they also reaffirmed just how important talking about this sort of thing is. It was always easier for me to lie and pretend things were ok, but in doing so it made the problems so much worse than they would've been if I'd just talked to someone sooner.
In the last year I've had friends who've struggled with their own issues that they, thankfully, were open to talking about, and I recommended therapy to the them as well. Although, like you've said in the video, it can be a nightmare to get an appointment. If anyone reading this is going to university in the UK though, I cannot recommend enough that you take advantage of the mental health support services they provide. It's one of the only places where you can semi-reliably get at least some of the help you might need and, in my experience at least, it was easy to access the help when I needed it.
Much love to the JAR boys, these two videos and the discussion of mental health on the posdact have been a massive help in coming to terms with my own issues and I wish you all the best.
Thankyou for talking so openly about mental health on the cast, as someone who has always struggled to convey and talk about their feelings (literally just "freezing up" when I was younger) it means a lot to hear other people who have also been through mental health issues and how they dealt with them.
We're getting old.
Been a viewer for 5+ years but in the past years James has become my favourite member of JAR. Great that you're airing out these issues from behind the scenes recently and I hope it helps James enjoy filming JAR episodes more going forward
This is like that third Lord of the rings film
Return of the King
@@wujitsu77uusi nah battle of the five armies
I'm only about 20 minutes in, but I think James talking about self destructing after drinking is something I do aswell. The way he described it struck a cord with me and made me have like a "oh shit I do that" moment and I didn't realise that's what it was until he described his experience with it. When I'm depressed sometimes, I'll go to the shop and buy a bottle of vodka, and spend the night drinking the whole thing and wallowing in my own sadness. I haven't done it in a while, but if certain things happen during the day, I'll have an uncontrollable urge to buy a bottle and finish it in a few hours. Thank you James for talking about your experiences. I remember watching the first video all those years ago and relating to how you were feeling at the time, and all these years later it's good to see you're doing better, and I'm doing better too. But everyone has there bad days, it's how you chose to take those bad days that matters. I hope you get the help you need my guy, much love
james
We’re all proud of you James
I have been rewatching old Jarcasts and in some casts James is on his phone like he always was back then. I think it was Ruben who made a joke about James messaging a girl. That comment hits different now that I know the story.
Sending you a big virtual hug James ♥️
James you're a great fucking guy i hope you know that. Love ya
It takes massive courage to share this, thank you so much
As someone who has struggled with mental disorders pretty terribly (especially in 2021), hearing James be so open is genuinely really comforting and helpful. The JAR boys are unironically the most real people on this platform, much love
Dear James, you are so strong and brave, not only for sharing your personal demons, but also for fighting them. I'm so thankful that you are still with us. Personally JAR has helped me through the worst time in my life, when I too was on the verge of giving up on my life. The medication I was given to help me regulate my emotions ruined my sleep, every night I would wake up in the middle of the night and was unable to fall asleep until the morning, when I started to fill the hours with the cast in the background I was able to gradually sleep more(not full nights but better than nothing). Today I'm off the meds, I feel much better, I can sleep full nights for the most part, whenever I have trouble sleeping I just put a cast and drift off. I still have my bad days but I will never try to destroy myself the way I did.
Thank you so much James, without you (and the Beltman boys) I dont think I would have become the person I am today. I hope you'll heal soon and I'm sure you'll come out sronger.
All the love
I honestly can't think of anybody else who is able to speak about things so candidly as you guys are (and specifically james here). I think it's a really important thing to have people like you discussing this stuff openly, especially related to abuse by a partner (which is something men rarely ever talk about).
James! I have a lot of experience with therapy (although in the US) and just wanna say its super important that if you find that your first therapist doesn’t help, definitely don’t give up. I’ve been through half a dozen at this point just because at a certain point I felt they either didn’t understand where I was coming from or were giving unhelpful advice. The first one I went to told me I should just start going for runs to stop depression and anxiety when I’m already fairly active. Another one didn’t see eye to eye with me on my sexuality so that was a big turn off. It’s worth just going through as many as you can until you find one you feel truly comfortable with, and one that you think is truly helping you. The difference is genuinely night and day. I wish you the best in your journey! I started just as anxious to make that first step and now I’m a completely new person mentally, thinking of you homie!
It's surprising how a good or bad therapist can do for us. I remember one of the occasion I was completely fed up with my meds and went to a therapist telling them how I didn't want to take them anymore and just want to suicide to end it all, and this goddamn therapist, instead of trying to understand why I would feel so, just made me promise to take the pills or they wouldn't let me go, and just called it case closed. I seriously don't understand how these people got their license, but then you also have these very cool ones that could really help you clear your mind and actually be suggesting helpful ways to deal with situations. So yea never give up trying to find a better/more suiting therapist, because they do exist (although sometimes hard to encounter).
I've only been watching this show for a month or so and there's a lot of history I've missed but damn, powerful stuff.
I had a similar experience during the first major lockdown period of covid, had a toxic relationship end in a very jarring way (no pun intended) but something that I’ve picked up recently that I would recommend is martial arts. I’ve joined a mixed martial arts and have been spending three days a week doing Jiu Jitsu, Muay Thai, and boxing and its done wonders for my mental health. It’s a really honest way to work on yourself, both psychologically and physically, and it is a great escape from the mundane depressing world sometimes. The culture around it and the people I’ve met are all very down to earth and supportive of everyone in the gym regardless of skill level or level of athleticism. If either of you are ever feeling down on yourself and need a new hobby or escape to stay away from substances is highly recommended.
Very long time viewer, 5 or 6 years and I remember the original video which at the time I sympathized with but didn’t totally relate to. This follow up is so well spoken and, unfortunately for me, relatable now and I’m so grateful that this is a topic you guys have decided to talk about. I like to laugh but this is extremely important. Good luck to you james, you’re very strong and I respect you so much :)
Waited forever for this, so excited its out, I nearly ended my life in October 2021 after dealing with it since January 2021. I'm taking meds and finally I'm doing alright. The first of these videos helped me through it, I'd listen on repeat. James is one of my hero's.
Thank you both.
I can relate to this so, so much. Thank you for talking about it.
Your original video and now this both hit incredibly close. Up until last month I was going through something very similar to what you described, panic attacks, constant hyperventilating, sleeping for hour long intervals, emotional numbing followed by emotional outbursts. Thank you for going into this James, it means a lot, and your experiences are helping lots of people.
I have a tremenious amount of respect for you, James. It takes a huge amount of courage to be this open and honest about your experiences and your mental health. Thank you so much for sharing them. Much love
I've just gotten around to finishing this pod. I didn't notice I had tears in my eyes until it ended. I don't know what to say, but it's very meaningful to me to hear others talk about getting better. It makes me think of how far I've come, and gives me hope that I'll go farther. That closing note by James was one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard. Thankyou for sharing this. I think it makes a real impact, and I have immense respect for James, as well as Alex and Jamie for sharing aspects of your mental health.
Been waiting for this, James has always been the wisest of JAR imo and always had the courage to talk about serious topics that have affected him despite any stigma or embarrassment, and has always unapologetically been himself. Much love to James❤️
Omfg. ALEX LENNEN??!!! You watch JAR?!!!!
I'm so happy that James is doing well, hope all the JAR boys are. I just wanted to comment on anti-depressants. I have had depression, social and general anxiety, and suicidal tendencies for years. I've been seeing a therapist for around 6 or more years now. While therapy is an IMMENSE help, sometimes it isn't always enough. I was also super against anti-depressants and/or taking medication for my issues. But after several discussions with my therapist about it, she convinced me to at least consider it. After several blood tests and some expensive brain scans(? I'm not sure if they were MRI's or what, but some procedure where they scanned my brain activity), it was found that some part of my brain wasn't producing enough of a certain hormone that it's supposed to. I can't remember the exact details, as this was years ago. But even though I was essentially taking all the right steps, it wasn't helping as much as it could have been, because my brain physically wasn't working properly. No amount of therapy would have changed how much hormones my brain was producing.
My main point here is that sometimes even if you do everything right, your body just might not be working properly for some reason. As much as I didn't want to be on anti-depressants, the fact that my brain wasn't properly functioning was too much evidence to support the benefits of taking medication to try to rectify things that weren't working as they should. Sometimes you can't do anything about it, and it's just your body not working as it should. So just try to keep that in mind when considering anti-depressants. Since getting on them (4 years ago), I've noticed a seriously significant difference in mood and trains of thought. It wasn't a miracle cure or anything, and no anti-depressants will be, but they've helped correct the imbalances in my brain so that I won't be at such a disadvantage against my thoughts and feelings.
I'm obviously no medical expert. But I hope my words maybe make you consider something that you maybe haven't yet, James. I hope you continue to get better and I'll always be cheering for you no matter what. Much love, man.
Not James at the end making me cry omg
Watching this inspired me to write a massive walkthrough on my mental health over the years- but I decided to just let it sit with myself for a while instead of sharing here. Nonetheless the video helped me reflect and give a lot of clarity- particularly in relation to both of your experiences. So I just wanted to say that JAR’s sincerity when it comes to this topic has helped me a lot.
Also, thanks for touching on mental health and it’s relationship with the UK healthcare system, because the government over the past ten years has extorted public mental health and counselling resources- preventing the system from having a beneficial holistic approach and providing effective long-term resources to the millions of us that are affected.
I can't believe it's been four years already, I remember being so concerned for James and it was heartbreaking to hear this from a personality I've followed for so long. James' improvement is so inspiring and his courage in discussing it has done so many of us a great service. Thankyou James, and the other two for being supportive friends :)
Not long after you made that video 4 years ago, I had my own massive mental health incident. I spiraled and lost all my friends, destroyed so many good things in my life. When covid happened I was able to take months off and just rest, work on my mental health and think about what actually mattered to me. Your videos helped me through that and although I'll probably always struggle with my mental health on some level, I'm so grateful that there are people like you guys who are willing to talk about it
hi james and alex! im just about to turn 20 and my mental health was the biggest focus of my teen years. i only realised a year or two ago that an event in my childhood had traumatised me in a lot of aspects of my life, leading me to go down even bigger rabbit holes and ruining relationships in my life. after nearly losing the most important relationship in my life i decided that 2022 had to be the year i had to learn how to confront myself with my mood swings and my increased emotions. i completely relate to you with having to change things in your life, ie your car and your job. ive had to make new social media accounts and delete apps from my phone and blacklist words, names, phrases from my phone, ive even dropped out of uni and bought a new wardrobe of clothes basically to remove the memories associated with certain clothes. these boundaries have helped me so so much and im glad to see the changes youve made in your life have a positive influence on how you feel on day to day bases. ive also started consuming cbd, and valerian root tablets are an absolute lifesaver for me! it is hard to feel like youre fighting yourself sometimes just to feel okay, but both of us are so strong for being able to overcome any of it at all in any regard. 2022 is our year !!!!!! lots of love
Very brave to talk about this. All the best James. x
James makes an excellent point regarding the Samaritans. While they won't turn you away, the helpline is meant to be a 'first point of contact' for those who might be at immediate risk of suicide or self-harm rather than long-term support.
Thank you for being comfortable enough to talk about this. I’m sure there are people who have been though similar situations without being able to communicating it to others.
James you are so fucking strong and brave for talking about this so openly, thank you. I'm sending you a virtual hug ❤
Hey James, I'm glad things are getting better for you, I've been struggling with severe mental health issues for years, and the moment I got help and started my path forward, my life has been slowly improving. From my experience it's all about sticking to the path forward, surrounding yourself with friends who understand your struggle, and you feel safe opening up to them, getting consistant professional therapy (NHS Healthy Minds 'high intensity therapy' worked great for me) and a reliable medication that provides a good balance of helping you through times of panic and intense feelings, and still feeling like yourself and not feeling like you have to rely on it souly (Propanolol works great for me). Keep going strong man, I believe in you.
i've been having a similar problem to james with sudden changes in behavior, so it was a relief to hear someone else talk about it. i've also been trying to become more loose in my expectations of life, and have been trying to push myself out of my comfort zone socially as i've never been a very socially competant person. thanks for this jarbois.
Well done James, and good job Alex for being a good friend to him. That kind of thing is priceless.
Actually, i'm having that feeling of being trapped on my mind for a long time now. I'm discovering lately emotional and very fucked up problems with myself and this video its making me to be more serious with myself and looking for help. thx lads, for me you are the only thing that make me go through the week, and im thankful for all the stuff u make. Btw James we are so proud of u.
legit fire.
Hey James, been a fan of the jarcast for a good couple years now and am so sorry to hear about all this. Obviously there's no substitute for therapy and everyone's different, but I've dealt with some depression in the past, and just for me personally a book called 'Happy' by Derren Brown really really helped, along with sustained reading of a lot of Stoic philosophy books (basically the philosophy of Ancient Greece and Rome) really helped me develop a much healthier way of thinking about life. Would really recommend Derren Browns book to anyone who feels like they need some help but can't get therapy. It's certainly not any kind of magic solution, but for me it helped me get on the right track again.
I wish you a short road to recovery and all the best for the future! Much love.
Well done guys thanks :)
thank you for this video. its weird to think the original was 4 years ago. time passes so quickly, and yet it feels like a decade away since I was in the place I was in 4 years ago, when it came out. it meant a lot to me at the time, for someone I looked up to so strongly, to have been experiencing similar thoughts to me. a lot has happened since then, good and bad. things got better, then they got worse, now I'm not sure how I compare to then. maybe its not even fair to compare to then. our situations are different, and yet we still share similar experiences. its hard to be diagnosed properly with anything in this country, but I believe I have some form of emotional dysregulation. the hardest part is the starting to get better proactively, rather than waiting for the feelings to pass on their own. I've been looking into dbt techniques [dialectical behavioral therapy], which is more skills and coping techniques based than traditional talking therapies. depending on how your own emotional dysregulation occurs/presents itself, this might be something to at least look into for you james.
this video means a lot to me to see your progress, both the fact that you have made progress [in addition to how much better you do seem in general in jar], and also getting to see that it is that gradual process rather than the done and dusted way you touched on. thank you for sharing your journey and everything you've been through, it takes a lot of strength and courage and it does mean so much for me and a lot of others.
this podcast means a lot to me, youve been such an important part of my life and have had *so* much influence on me. I can't even put it into words. thank you for everything.
I could write so much more but my attention span is awful that by the time I finish typing one sentence it's gone. but in general, honestly, just thank you. thank you so much. you guys mean the world to me.
Long time listener and lurker, thank you for being you James.
I've had toxic relationships, depression, trauma and anxiety. Opening up about it helped tremendously and I'm very happy you can be so open and help others. Thank you James and JAR 🙏
It's incredible that you guys feel confident enough to talk about mental health and personal trauma on such a public platform. I myself have seriously struggled with dissociation for a long while now and hearing anyone (especially James) talk about their experience with it means a lot to me.
I wish you both all the best and hope that you continue to get better!
I just wanna say thank you Jar, for a while now ive been dealing with some pretty bad mental issues myslff and listening to your podcast has really helped me, and is something I allways look foward to listening to when I have a shitty day. Not many people actually talk about this kind of stuff alot of it is bottled up and swept under the rug so Thank you. I wish you guys all the best and I hope James is able to look back it this cast in 5 years in a better state mind.
Thank you James, you're brave and this message really can help a lot of people, I cried a lot relating to it. Thank you Alex for sharing as well
Such a genuinely insightful and helpful video, I understand it's hard to talk about mental health so I really appreciate James being so open about his struggles even today, it makes it easier for myself to talk about my own mental health, so thanks James!
I can't say I've been personally effected by any of the types of struggles you boys detailed in this video, but I would still like to offer my thanks for recounting your trials and tribulations in the way that you have. As a long long term jarling who has listened to countless hours of you guys rambling over the years, I feel like by listening to you talking about your mental states and how you've handled the harder times I will be able to better relate to the people I know are struggling in my own life, and will be able to be a better friend for it. So yeah thanks again and I hope you chaps continue to take care of yourselves. Lots of love ❤️
As someone who has suffered a lot of the same issues throughout my life, I want to thank you James, you're an incredibly strong person for talking about this so candidly, and with such positivity as well. It's truly inspiring.
Hey guys. I've only just managed to watch the first part of this video now as I've had a rough period recently and didn't have the fortitude to watch a video like this but I just wanted to say how proud I am of James for talking about all this. You guys have been apart of my life for since my early teen days and I will always treasure this channel, I have had times where I watch less than other times but I always come back, as I feel like JAR will probably always be something I will consider a big part of why I am the way I am today. Take care of eachother.
One thing depression has taught or enhanced about me is empathy. Empathy for people's sadness, loss, and anger. While I try not to feed into or off of other people's negative emotions, I do understand them. And I let them know they aren't alone. I do this because I have so often felt alone and cold that I often I find myself saying or thinking I don't love anyone. But I do like some people I want them to have just at least an extra hour or so of a good day. Because I would prefer if I left a positive impression on people than a negative one as I don't feel it's fair for me to add to what stuff is going on in their lives.
much love to you guys- have came such a long way and have helped more people than you could imagine. game on.
really nice way to end it, well done lads on all of it.
I remember watching the original video when it first came out. I haven't listened to this podcast in years and just randomly thought of it today and came across this video. I'm sorry things are still difficult for you right now but I'm glad things have improved. You've improved so much, James.
Doesn't even feel like it's been 4 years lol, been sort of looking for this video considering the global and personal issues of mine and of you lot
Keep it poppin, this is exactly the type of stuff I luv about Jar
i
Thank you for speaking about this. I've also struggled with my mental health for a long time. I'm the best now I've been in maybe 15 years and I've only recently articulated that the answer to "am I depressed?" is and might for a long time still be "always kind of but not really" (aka it gets better but the work never stops). It's so nice to hear such candid thoughts, without sugar coating but also without doom and gloom. I sincerely hope that you guys will find a good therapy-spot and that you'll continue to get better. Again, thank you for providing this platform and, on a personal note, for cheering me up for the past 6 years while I was fighting to get better. I appreciate it a lot, as many other do. Cheers!
P.S. I know James said that he isn't fond of the idea of medication but I've recenlty started taking antidepressants because I, too, struggle with nightmares (I can't stress enough how much of a struggle this is) and would encourage him to not dismiss it entirely. Be sceptic and maybe steer clear from the addictive stuff, but not being afraid of falling asleep anymore is a huge relief.
Thank you for being so open. Struggled with anxiety especially over lockdowns. Glad you've spoken out. Take care.
Just remember, James: you've always got support options like therapy, friends and your beloved Minions.
long time viewer, first time commenter. Just want to say thank you to you pair for being so honest and open about your experiences. I'm the kind of person who immediately falls into the "its just hippie bullshit' mindset when people talk about meditation and the likes. Ive had long term personal issues with managing stress (nothing overly serious but god is it exhausting) and it's really valuable to hear these kinds of conversations from people who seem so down to earth and "normal" for lack of a better word (not that you guys are in any way normal given half the conversations ive heard on jar over the years haha). But yeah, keep up the good work. Hope things continue to look up for James, he definitely deserves it. Would also like to say that Alex did a great job in helping to guide the discussion whilst still giving James the space to talk. Perhaps I may comment again in 5 years time when there's another update- but until then, try to take care of yourselves everyone :)
Excellent video, thanks for sharing! Only last month did I truly start to struggle, on a daily basis, with near-panic levels of anxiety that would be triggered, seemingly, by nothing at all. I would often feel myself choking or struggling to breathe without it relenting. Only now starting to make changes to my life, which are helping. But it’s frightening just how powerful and overwhelming a mental health crisis can be. And those “lol anxiety” people, who I once was as an edgy teen, really have no idea the depths that anxiety will take you.
Having just gone through a breakup which I caused, I have been feeling a lot of self hatred and a lot of thoughts of suicide and self harm have been crossing my mind. Listening to you boys talk about mental health and how to deal with it has been extremely helpful for me and I wanna thank you both for it
Stay strong James ♥️
thank you for this, self reflection is such a great thing to do every once in a while to snap back to reality
Love you guys, thanks for sharing. Wishing you all the best
Thank you James and Alex for this. While I have never been in a relationship, I have been in a few emotionally abusive friendships, including one with a girl that I had serious feelings for. While it has been a long time since leaving those friendships, I still think about those times a lot, and it often feels like I am reliving those horrible moments. Trauma is a real bitch, and it took me the longest time to come to terms with the way I was treated.
This time 4 years ago, I was in one of the most fragile states in my life, and was truly considering ending it all. While I still struggle with my mental health in some capacity, I am glad to say I have made some friends who really care and love me.
It's been amazing to see how much James has grown since the original video. Jar has been a constant in my life since the first episode of the Podcast, and I have always appreciated the open approach to mental health from you guys. As Alex said in the video it isn't easy to be vulnerable, especially to an audience of thousands of people, and I truly admire James for speaking out and following up on that video.
I'm so happy you are still here James and that you are doing so much better now.
I apologise if this comment is a bit of a ramble, but I just wanted to share some of my own feelings and thank you guys for once again being so open. Much love to you guys.
I'm glad you've mentioned betterhelp and how bad they are. I remember years ago they were everywhere and as a response people did talk about how bad and terrible they are - but theyve been back a lot recently I've seen, and I've not seen anyone talk about them negatively.
Massive props to you guys for doing this video, some really important experiences to hear about (nice one James) and helpful advice in this video that I'm sure could help a lot of people.
Legend.
Much love ❤️
i stumbled upon the first video a few weeks ago so this is impeccable timing. thanks for continuing to document your journey with wellness. normalizes it for other people and makes it less scary. ✊
One thing I always tell people when they have doubts or refuse to get therapy, is that going to it doesn't mean you're insane or broken or a worse person, it just means that you're trying to take care of yourself the same way you would if you had to go to the doctor. Only in this case it'd be to help you get better mentally and emotionally, instead of physically.
Another important thing is to look for suicide prevention lines in your country. Most times they're available and for free. It might seem trivial, but having someone to talk to on such a difficult situation, even if it's just for a moment, can truly make a difference, and set you up on your path of healing.
Lastly, always look for the right therapist, and a treatment that works for you. Everybody's different, and there are different approaches for it. If you had to go to a psychiatrist, and you don't want to take drugs, don't settle up for one that insist on medicating you without trying other options first.
Thank you for making this, for being so strong and sincere. And especially you, James. Keep going, you're not JAR's best boy for no reason.
Hey! Wanted to chip in with my experience with online therapy. Went to docs, got propranolol (now got rid off) and was really aggressively told to get on SSRIs which I hated (thanks Tory NHS). Got therapy with Talk Liverpool which is an NHS branch in my city. And my god. The waiting times, the lack of communication and honestly, whilst zoom calls aren’t exactly very good, that first bit of support is so valuable, even if the therapist sucks. So yes, I agree that the nhs route isn’t the ideal one, but if it’s your only chance that I would recommend it anyway.
your wording and discussion of these issues is spot on and sincere love you guys and I genuinely sincerely hope you get better James were here for you !!! 💝💖💘❤
hey bruv, you're pretty cool, and you deserve happiness. I hope as time goes on these issues will become easier to deal with, and if they don't you have people close to you to help you and a fanbase backing you.
Thank you :^)
James should review A Man Called Otto. It an incredible anti-suicide movie and it would be great if he could share his personal opinions on it because of what he’s experienced.
Just wanna say from my own experience it sounds like James has made a lot of progress, IMO the most important thing for improving mental health is for you to actively take steps to improve it, and recognizing that you need the help of a professional to do so, those are things that are difficult for most people to fully come to terms with. I think if you come into therapy with that proactive mindset you will better understand what is triggering these defence mechanisms and how you can mitigate the intensity. The process itself is daunting and can be stressful but I think every session was productive in some way and it feels like a massive burden is lifted when you are just able to verbalize exactly what you are feeling. Obviously there's never an "end point" when it comes to self-improvement but I was personally able to recognize how I was fuelling my own anxiety/depression with certain habits or leaps of logic and I've been making a conscious effort to have a more constructive mindset and not go down these rabbit holes of depression.
Sorry if that post was too long but I hope someone else who deals with similar issues but not sure about therapy might be encouraged by the positive story, I know for some people therapy is a lot more difficult and I can obviously only speak of my own experience
YEWSS!
You guys are the best. I don’t really know what to say apart from this video is a perfect example of that. Mental health is obviously so important, especially with Covid, and making a video like this, especially one which is so personal, is so commendable. I am a long-time viewer, you guys are too funny. Keep doing you and spreading positivity and good vibes, as always, lol minion cringe :)
I hope James manages to get the therapy he needs. Knowing you need it and getting there are not the same thing. Good luck James ❤️
man I really want to shake his hand