As someone who’s nannied for 12 years I completely agree with this method and use it. One step that was not mentioned that I believe is crucial for a child’s success is to give at least a 5 minute heads up if a change of activity is about to occur. It prepares the child for change and makes it easier to mentally shift from one activity to another. 👍🏻
Trouble's Matriarch Really little kids don’t have much of a conception of time, so the exact time isn’t as relevant as just giving them a heads up within a reasonable time. The goal is to let them know what the plan is so they can mentally prepare for what’s to come. But as they get older I can see how being specific with time frames can be helpful. 👍🏻
@@AubreyJuliet the fact that they don't have a conception of time is exactly why you should be building it in them. It's not something you should slack on, it could skew their perception for time in the long run, permanently.
That’s great advice Aubrey. Thank you for sharing. I never thought about time like that with my almost 2 year old. But it makes sense that they do need to do a mental transition. Thank you for sharing that advice.
I am a grandma, raised my youngest granddaughter who is a senior in high school now. I watch all your videos from organizing, cleaning, motherhood, all of them. I just love watching everything you do and listen to what you have to say even if it isn't relavent to my life. You are just so upbeat. Love your little family
Britney doesn’t just leave a review on Amazon about the book, she dedicates a 18 min long video about how amazing the book is😝💕thanks for the video!!! I needed it
@@kellyroberts9140 I'm baffled by yours. Naomi is complimenting Brittany for not only reviewing it but going above and beyond for her viewers by creating a video talking about it.
As usual Brittany doing the heavy lifting so we don’t have to! 😂 But seriously I love your dedication to sharing the methods/products/hacks that work for you to help improve the lives of your viewers. You clearly have a passion for it and we appreciate you!!! 💖
I am a fan of methods like these. The only thing i’d like to change is the place he gets a timeout in. I opt for a corner or a chair not his bedroom. Later he will definitely remember his room was ment for time-out which is a negative emotion. I’d rather be safe then sorry and use a corner or chair. No expert just an adjustment
After having read 20+ books about child psychology and parenting, I've learned that it's absolutely true that kids need clear rules and boundaries to feel secure. You also have to be very aware of what you can expect of them at their age. We often expect things they simply don't have the skills to do yet. Having clear consequences that are clearly separated from your love for them helps them learn that in reality, every action will have a consequence. Love your videos!
Yes I agree! I think this method could be overused like Brittany said. Especially for tantrums or other emotional things. If you sense the child is struggling to relax, you can offer a hug or anything else to help them calm down. Tell them you can help them. If they choose not to let you help, ignore it but remind them occasionally that you're there to help them calm down. I think adults forget that children can't regulate their emotions yet and emotions shouldn't be punished. Ignored until they are willing to try and calm down can work. If they are struggling for really long, then push that calming down on them a little bit harder by distractions, holding them tight, anything.
It helps SO much every single time with my 2.5 year old to give him a 2-5 minute warning. Say, “ok you can play for 3 more minutes and then we are going inside.” It works so well!
Hello! Me whants to be a future english kindergarden teacher and i was wondering what to do if two or more toddlers are bullying or hurting each other? Whats the best way to make peace? And talk to them? (sorry about this question randomly i have Aphesia which is Just a talking disorder and i have trouble explaining (or understanding someone, or what i read etc.) and i was wondering if you can help what to do in a situation like this in the future when i start being a kindergarden teacher?)
You might be the only youtuber that honestly gives help all the others just advertise things i have really benefited from your knowledge on mommy stuff when i first became a new mom
I did this with my child 40 years ago. Following through every time seems like a lot of work and frustration for the parent, but it does work. You just have to realize that you will need to be doing it for a long time because kids and situations change as they get older, they will frequently challenge you, but you are always the parent. Also, as they get older, they get more verbal, and may have a good reason for wanting to wait before acting (the show is almost over, I want to finish this chapter, etc) so I learned to listen and give consideration to what he was saying, and “picked my battles”
I'm gonna be honest... I used to watch every video you post .. when you start this channel and I saw how good was Carters learning and acting and playing in the other side my son who is a little bit younger was not getting much done..like I would buy him the same toys you recommend and he wouldn't even care or play with them .. I started feeling kinda jealous and and that I wasn't doing enough. I didn't want to see what you guys are doing anymore..I wanted to love my son the way he is and not have to compare him with your son , today I just came to check on your channel to see this video, and I really needed to see hear this. Thank you so much for all the good energy..keep it up!
Love everything about this new channel. I have always admired your parenting. You’re doing an amazing job raising such a happy, smart, and polite little boy.
Couldn’t leave a message on the potty training video. You uploaded that video just in time, I was almost ready to potty train my 3 year old daughter so I had bought everything already. Watching your video gave me reassurance that I can do it. I went for it the very next day and followed everything you suggested . My girl was fully potty trained(day time) in 3 days. Thankyou so so much x
I bless God for you doing this video because I have been going crazy with my 27 months old toddler who simply won't listen to any instructions I give her😇. I've been thinking that I am the one who was doing it wrong, but after watching this, I realize it's a natural thing with toddlers around this age to be like this. So thank you Brittany 💝🤗
Thank you so much for sharing this information! I'm a Spanish native speaker and my husband is not fluent in Spanish. I've been following this TH-cam channel that talks about this exact information but I've had difficulty translating and sharing the information with my husband. Now, thanks to you, I'll be able to share this knowledge with him and be on the exact same page. Thank you very much!
I have since this somewhere before I had kids, I have a 2year old and a 6 year old and I have to say this WORKS! I did it with both of them and still do and neither has ever had a tantrum in public, only try to do it at home a couple of times and after they saw it wasn't working they stopped. I've been able to take them anywhere with me and don't have to worry about them doing what there not suppose to. They are kids and they still try to get away with things not perfect but this helped me so much!!! Thank you for sharing it 😊 love your videos ❤
THIS WORKS! 👍🏼 I've never heard it explained this way but this is how I am with my kids and how I ran my classroom when I taught pre-k (minus time out in school). I honestly believe every parent should take some form of child psychology class. Just like anything new, the more you learn about it and how it operates (children in this example), the easier it is to understand the WHY behind the behavior and the HOW to get through it together. Just try to remind yourself that your child is not giving you a hard time, they are having a hard time. And it's up to us as the parent to work through things with them❤️
Consistency and following through are EVERYTHING! You're so right about that one time you give in it all falls apart 😵 I use natural consequences (if you throw the soil then we stop digging, pinch me and that's the end of our cuddle etc.), but the same method of a warning and then always doing what you say you will 🙌 So simple, but fair and effective. Thank you for all your wonderful and honest content x x x
Great tips. I highly recommend "Parenting from the Inside Out" - especially for anyone who may have come from somewhat dysfunctional or non-traditional homes. It helps you to see how and why you might react or overreact to certain things - particularly if you have more than one child. It never ceases to amaze me at how vastly different each of my four children are. Thanks for sharing. x Mel
I cannot read a book in an afternoon and I super appreciate you talking about & posting this! 💖 My 3 year old is having more meltdowns and I’m looking for ways to improve. Thank you!!!
Thank you for posting this. We have followed a 3 step method with my soon to be 2 year old. We have done it with no guidance but I hear so many parents repeating themselves with no disciplinary action to follow. This definitely is useful to put more guidance into our method and just downloaded the kindle app to be able to purchase this book. Thank you for sharing your experience. 💕
I have two kids. One is a 9 yo boy and I have a 3 and a half yo girl. I’ve done a time out discipline (very similar to what you explained here) with my son and it worked wonderfully. I started doing it with my daughter, it works but she is completely different child, so stubborn and takes everything to heart (girl 😄). But this method works for sure! 💖
Massive fan of this approach. Always, always, always follow thru. But equally, only ever "threaten" (awful word, but no other will suffice) consequences that you can realistically and feasibly put into action.
i'm going to tell my daughter to watch this video, Brittany. She's running into the same discipline problems with my 5 yo grandson. Thank you for the info on the book and your honest testimony to its value.
I love this so much! We do this already and we have also had so many conversations about making sure we only use it for: dangerous situations, hurting us or someone else, and following directions that just need to be followed (come inside, time to put our shoes on etc). And we experienced the same result! We only have had to follow through a handful of times before he learned we were serious and he just listens now! Every once in awhile he will still need us to follow through, but often not!
I truly appreciate your honesty in this video. I have a 2 year old boy and we have been having similar issues. I truly appreciate hearing advice and experiences from other moms. Thank you!!!
Loved the video! ❤️I have seen something similar with the super nanny. But she doesn’t send the kids to their room. They have timeout on the stairs. She doesn’t want their playroom to have negative vibes. And also the timeout is as long as the kids age.
Love this video ♥️ I have a 2 year old that does not listen to ME only listens to her DAD. Same goes for my two dogs they WILL only listen to their DAD!! So I’ve been using this method for me in order to discipline all of them cause it basically feels like I have 3 children in the house... it’s been great and working for me so far since we’re home now and keeping up with everything. Thank you for the chance to be entered in the Giveaway. Wish everyone luck!
It is indeed very important that the mother and father have the same authority. Otherwise your children may only listen to one of the parents and that's very frustrating for the other parent!
Bravo to you!! I totally applaud you and your efforts of what you’re doing with your beautiful son!! As an older mom of a now 20 & 16 yr. old & master’s degreed in elementary education teacher, I totally agree with you!! Children thrive on boundaries, routines, and consistency!! It’s huge!! It gives them security as well as an anticipatory set of expectations!! When children begin school without socialization/behavior skills they tend to do poorly when asked to follow rules within a classroom or school setting. Learning ‘no’ means ‘no’ at a young age is soooo very important to their future behavior, which will ultimately converge with their ability to learn, focus, and deal with distractions. Discipline is not easy but so very necessary in the overall development & growth of your child. Learning there is an appropriate time & place for certain behaviors is critical. So congratulations to you on seeing the importance of appropriate behavior!!!!!!! Thank you on behalf of my follow teachers & society as a whole!!! Congratulations again on a job well done!!!!!!👏👏👏👏🤩👍🎉❤️
I don't have small children....I am a great grandmother...but I wish I had had this knowledge when my own were small! I am really enjoying this new channel...been following since before Carter was born. I really wanted to let you know that I loved the fact that in your last video you gave a head's up on what your next video would be....wish all channels did that!
Thank you for sharing! My son turned 3 in December and he started not listening out of nowhere, testing me and getting away with so much.. I will give this a try! ❤️❤️
What a great video, Brittany! ❤️ My parents had kind of the same parenting style with me and my sister and it worked very well. I just needed a rational explanation and that mostly did it for me, so the time out was never really used. We had very few, but very logical rules and my parents were extremely consequent. I always knew, what their reaction would be. I did not even acted out in puberty. I employed the same style with my two lovely stepsons. And they gave me the best compliment a couple of months ago. They are now 15 and 17 years old and said, that even though I'm so very consequent and that that would be sometimes annoying, they really appreciate that and me for always being there for them and giving them, what they need. ❤️ To hear that from hormone-strucken teens! My heart! ❤️ Not that anyone thinks, they are the perfect angels. They most definitely are not. :-D They are normal teens and pick on each other, would rather play games than do their homework and stay awake until dawn. They do act out. But they understand, where we are coming from and that we are always there for them to discuss and eventually set new boundaries. And kids really do need boundaries to feel safe. More so when they are younger. But even the almost 18 year old let it slip, that he knows we are right. ;-)
I just realized you are my mom guru. LOL! This video came just in time because my 2-year-old is pushing boundaries more and more and he responds really well to traditional time-outs so I think he will do amazing with this method. I'm so thrilled to see this channel active again. :)
This type of thing works great for my kids, because they know exactly what to expect and they feel safe and secure. I really appreciate your caveats at the end. It's important to let kids be kids and give them freedom. Also, when it works, I like to have more natural consequences. Like, "I only ask twice because otherwise, it takes too much of my energy and I can't do fun things with you. If you can't come inside now, I can't bake the cookies I was going to/do our reading time together/set up that game for you, etc". But timeout can also be a natural consequence because it gives mama a break!
I needed this video. We have been disciplining very similar to this, but using a counting 1...2...3 With 3 being time out. This has been 50% effective for us. I like the ask, tell then action approach. I also think it is very important to do the full 3-minute in timeout and were going to be better about this. THANK YOU!
Glad the book gives a scenario 3 solution because I’m pretty sure that’s where we will end up 😂😭 I was just telling my husband that I need a professional like super nanny or something because my 3 yr old has been acting out so much. She’s on the spectrum and can be very difficult. I will definitely read the book and give it a try. Thank you for sharing!
I need to try this method, I have identical triplet boys that turned 3years old, 2 weeks ago. I can see how they aren’t listening and testing boundaries. It’s really hard when you are dealing 3 toddlers who are working as a team against you.Thank you for sharing this method.
I did basically the same thing raising my 2 sons as a single Mom. I did the counting to 3 method. It took a while, maybe a week, but by keeping it consistent it worked until they just listened the first time. And absolutely pick your battles and use only when it's important. Now that was over 40 years ago with no social media but it worked. This book sounds so great. I'm going to get the book bc I have a 5-year-old granddaughter and it will help with I'm taking care of her. Good advice ❤💚💜💙💛
every time there's an upload on this channel I rush to watch even though I am single and do not want kids at this point and maybe ever. not sure what that says about me but what it says about you is you're great at breaking down a lot of research and trial/error into simple, effective strategies that meaningfully improve peoples' lives
You are one of the few mommies I like to watch and definitely worth turning on my notifications for your videos 👏🏻 can’t wait for more mommy videos like this, I have tried some of your techniques & they worked for my daughter, so thank you! Your awesome 💕
I read this book after you mentioned it in a previous video. Absolute game changer! About an 80% improvement in tantrums and cooperation in a week. Definitely recommend this book!!
I ran a State Licensed Daycare from my home and I supervised 6 children, all 3 years old. I used this tried and true method that you are talking about. I only used it IF they harmed another child. It was in the corner in my livingroom, where I could still see them, and 1 minute for every year of age. It worked like a charm! I loved those children, but I didn't want them to grow up mini-tyrants or bullies.Also if they hurt one another, they had to say "I'm sorry" and hug each other. That seemed to help tremendously. Carter is lucky to have you as a Mom.
Omg, this couldn’t have came at the best time... I’m currently going through it with my daughter and she’s almost 2 1/2. Thank you for having the courage to even share your tips and tricks. I know it’s a touchy subject but if I could have chose who to take advice from it would be you ! Lol thank you !! 🥰
My son is about to be 3 this month and omg has it been tough so this really came at a perfect time because mommy has been crying in the bathroom a lot lately Thanks girly 💕
Love the system...as a parent of 3, my only personal tweek, for myself (ny kids are now 15,19,and 21) I only ever said it once!!! For me I wanted my kids to listen to me the first time. If I ever had to yell stop, because of an oncoming car in a parking lot, or any other safety situation. I wanted and needed instant obedience! With 3 kids I couldn't always hold each hand or carry all 3, my words HAD to mean something the first time. Love you! And as u said we are all just doing our best, and what we feel comfortable with for our own kids!
I've really been struggling finding a positive way to approach the tantrums and battles that come with the terrible twos... definitely gonna give this book a try!
I just finished reading this book because of your recommendation and I also took notes along the way to share with my husband! I am most definitely a Pleaser parent who was raised by a Pushover parent and a Forcer parent. My husband is more of an Outlier parent. I think the book had some great strategies and a lot to think about. I can say applying the actual "Ladder" method for my 23 month old is not going to work just yet because he is still too young to understand going to his room as a "time out" or "cool down" so we are focusing more on how we speak and expect him to respond. I have noticed a huge difference cutting out questions instead of commands like "will you please clean up now?" instead of "It is time to clean up." That has made a difference in him listening. We have also used her methods for meal time troubles. If he eats awesome, if not we don't make a thing or struggle out of it. We put his plate away and if he asks for a snack later he gets the previous meal back to finish. It works WONDERS! Other great ideas but these are what stick out for me. I highly recommend others reading this book as well.
I have used this method strategically so it was reassuring to hear you talk about it. We use a chair, not the bedroom. I want his bedroom to remain his positive space. I also use the word “break” and “timeout” interchangeably because we discuss that even adults need breaks. We practice a lot of deep breathing together.
Thank you for sharing this! I’m so glad you rebumped your family channel. You’re videos are great information. I have a 2 1/2 years old and I love your videos. Very inspirational
Hey Brittany loved this video. I have the same mindset as you and surprisingly I have been doing this method without knowing. I try not to do his room as timeout because I don’t want him to see his room as a bad place. So I’ll just sit him down on the couch and not let him get up until time is up
Thank you thank you! Love this channel!! I haven't read this book, but as a mom of a special needs child, many of the things you quoted from this book i have learned from others moms of special needs children and researchand classes I've taken. . So really..i feel like this is a good book for any parent of any child, because really all children are different. I just feel we need to be gentle but firm with our children..wouldn't we as a society do better if everyone was gentle and firm with one another. Make your yes mean yes and your no mean no ;) love your vlogs!!! And seeing your beautiful family!!
I am following her seriously like forever 🥰so happy to see her every time she post something new and interesting 😊 she inspires me to start my own channel 👍🏻
I would love to know what you do about your eating, the morning sickness from both pregnancies, what you do if you're not feeling good while having to keep an eye on your 3 year old? Thank you. Love your videos!
You are such a great mom! I trust everything you say bec you research like a beast! Thank you for sharing ! I literally love all of your videos on this channel!
Omg I needed this! I’m losing my mind with my 4 kiddos and they are just out of control now that we are all home all day.. we all need a little more structure in our lives
I have tried this and so many methods with my 2 (3 in May) non-verbal ASD son... it has been very difficult! I do agree tho, no matter what method you use, using it every single time is important! I also have a 16 week old and he knows exactly when i am not able to be on top of him, he waits till I'm feeding or putting the baby to sleep and then goes nuts and will climb on counters. Kids are so smart... too smart!
Brittany, you are such a smart woman, you're just the best! I really look up to you. ☆ I *love* how you show/proove beautiful is not the opposite of smart/intelligente! ♡
Thanks, Brittany, for sharing this method! I was always against time-outs, but now as my son is nearing three, not that he listens at all, he does his best to do everything on the contrary. I will definitely read the book, we desperately need any solution. That would also be awesome, if you could share any tips about sleep and especially moving a toddler from crib to a new bed.
Giving a time out has positive long term effects. We always timed out our son in a small recessed area in the hallway. After a while he started timing himself out whenever he felt stressed. One day when our son was 5 or 6 he was having a kinda rough day, and he put himself in time out. After a few minutes he came back and said he had talked everything over with his friend Oobi and that he was feeling much better. We were like, "Who's Oobi?" Our son took us to his time out place and pointed to a defunct light switch that looked like a goofy face, and said, "That's Oobi. I talk to him until I feel better." Timing out definitely helps kids understand and manage their emotions.
I have a two years old and I actually follow a very similar method. The one diffrence is that I tend to explane to him why he's doing time out and I would congratulate him for it afterwords so maybe I'll be making changes in that area. Besides, I'll try to be more consistant with the 3 steps. Thank you for sharing ❤
I'm in total agreement on not punishing for food and potty but sleep not sold. I'll need to read why. But I have 4 oldest is 5&1/2 and im a big fan of nicely asking first then 1,2,3 then time out (minute for their age starting at 1yo) ... so glad you found something that works for you all!
really enjoyed this video! ❤️ i don't have a kid, but i enjoy learning and it's awesome to hear about your experiences. also, i went through your amazon favorites page and added many of your fav books to my reading list. i would looove videos in which you discuss some of your all time fav books. ❤️❤️❤️
Honestly I feel like this method was something that I automatically did with my own children. Never knew there was a name for it till now, really interesting! I kind of molded my own discipline method as I took care of my own son and my Sunday School tots class. Children are smart no matter the age. I can't get behind feeling guilt for time-outs though, in reality even as adults we need our own "time-outs". My son will sometimes even excuse himself out of the room when he feels overwhelmed so he can collect his thoughts, just like how we as adults need time for ourselves to regain composure. My parents were old school so of course I was dealt with "the hand" or even "la chancla". I didn't want to repeat what I was taught but I also felt like kids do need to understand when the foot is down. When I started teaching tots I grew my own method by watching other parents and molding what I felt worked for all kids. Positive discipline should still be filled with love but have enough of a dynamic where the child knows who is the one in charge.
I've been using positive discipline since my daughter was very little and I have an "angel child", like Britanny said. She's 3 and usually a first time listener. I don't believe in time out, I believe in cooperation. She understands why ask what I ask and she's usually happy to cooperate. When she's not cooperating, I am firm and say that she can choose how she'll do it or I will choose (for ex, she needs a shower. I ask her to come and she doesn't listen. I will ask again and say that she will choose how to come to the bathroom, like she'll walk or I'll carry her. If she's not listening, I say that I'll count to 3 and if I get to 3 she'll not have the privilege of choosing, because then I'll make my own choice. She has maybe once gotten to 3, then I went and carried her). Positive discipline is being gentle, but firm and knowing that you can't control your child, you can only control your own reactions. At 3 all they want in the world is to make choices, so I give her the opportunity to choose what is negotiable and how she'll do the non-negotiable.
Exactly this is what I feel is the safest thing to do for children. Time-outs are polite ways of saying solitary confinement. Time-outs are teaching a child that you will reject them when they do things you don’t like. I’ve just never been able to get on board with that.
can you add a video on sleep training? i remember you mentioning (way back) that you didn't sleep train? i didn't sleep train my first but I'm also pregnant with my second. and our parenting styles seem to match (hence i watch your channel religiously) and i am also a "pleaser" THANK YOU BRITTANY!!!
Love this method!!! Similar to what we were doing in our home but ... we've fallen off the wagon during quarantine and this is giving me the inspiration to get back on track. I also think this is simpler than what we were doing before and likely easier to be consistent but still compassionate.
As someone who’s nannied for 12 years I completely agree with this method and use it. One step that was not mentioned that I believe is crucial for a child’s success is to give at least a 5 minute heads up if a change of activity is about to occur. It prepares the child for change and makes it easier to mentally shift from one activity to another. 👍🏻
Yes!!
And make sure you stick to however many minutes you set! Don't say 3 and wait 5, they need the time association so very much.
Trouble's Matriarch Really little kids don’t have much of a conception of time, so the exact time isn’t as relevant as just giving them a heads up within a reasonable time. The goal is to let them know what the plan is so they can mentally prepare for what’s to come. But as they get older I can see how being specific with time frames can be helpful. 👍🏻
@@AubreyJuliet the fact that they don't have a conception of time is exactly why you should be building it in them. It's not something you should slack on, it could skew their perception for time in the long run, permanently.
That’s great advice Aubrey. Thank you for sharing. I never thought about time like that with my almost 2 year old. But it makes sense that they do need to do a mental transition. Thank you for sharing that advice.
I am a grandma, raised my youngest granddaughter who is a senior in high school now. I watch all your videos from organizing, cleaning, motherhood, all of them. I just love watching everything you do and listen to what you have to say even if it isn't relavent to my life. You are just so upbeat. Love your little family
Britney doesn’t just leave a review on Amazon about the book, she dedicates a 18 min long video about how amazing the book is😝💕thanks for the video!!! I needed it
Aren’t you watching her review here?? LOL did you just feel the need to find something to criticize? I’m baffled by your comment.
@@kellyroberts9140 I'm baffled by yours. Naomi is complimenting Brittany for not only reviewing it but going above and beyond for her viewers by creating a video talking about it.
As usual Brittany doing the heavy lifting so we don’t have to! 😂 But seriously I love your dedication to sharing the methods/products/hacks that work for you to help improve the lives of your viewers. You clearly have a passion for it and we appreciate you!!! 💖
👌
I am a fan of methods like these. The only thing i’d like to change is the place he gets a timeout in. I opt for a corner or a chair not his bedroom. Later he will definitely remember his room was ment for time-out which is a negative emotion. I’d rather be safe then sorry and use a corner or chair. No expert just an adjustment
I agree, I was going to say this! It could be anywhere else, even the steps or something.
The great thing about a bedroom, in my opinion, is that they have the opportunity to sit and read a book quietly. Which is a great coping mechanism.
I loved all the advice too. That's the one thing I would change too is the location of the time outs.
I always thought the same 👌🏻
After having read 20+ books about child psychology and parenting, I've learned that it's absolutely true that kids need clear rules and boundaries to feel secure. You also have to be very aware of what you can expect of them at their age. We often expect things they simply don't have the skills to do yet. Having clear consequences that are clearly separated from your love for them helps them learn that in reality, every action will have a consequence. Love your videos!
Yes I agree! I think this method could be overused like Brittany said. Especially for tantrums or other emotional things. If you sense the child is struggling to relax, you can offer a hug or anything else to help them calm down. Tell them you can help them. If they choose not to let you help, ignore it but remind them occasionally that you're there to help them calm down. I think adults forget that children can't regulate their emotions yet and emotions shouldn't be punished. Ignored until they are willing to try and calm down can work. If they are struggling for really long, then push that calming down on them a little bit harder by distractions, holding them tight, anything.
This came in perfect time. My baby boy is about to turn 3 and is definitely testing his limits. Thank you Brittany.
It helps SO much every single time with my 2.5 year old to give him a 2-5 minute warning. Say, “ok you can play for 3 more minutes and then we are going inside.” It works so well!
I don’t have children, not even planning one yet, but still watching all of your videos because I love you 😂❤️
Omggg you're too sweet 😭😭
Me too
Same!!! I'm only 17 years old
Same!
Same lol
As a kindergarden teacher, I must say ,that's the way you do it! Good job!
Hello! Me whants to be a future english kindergarden teacher and i was wondering what to do if two or more toddlers are bullying or hurting each other? Whats the best way to make peace? And talk to them? (sorry about this question randomly i have Aphesia which is Just a talking disorder and i have trouble explaining (or understanding someone, or what i read etc.) and i was wondering if you can help what to do in a situation like this in the future when i start being a kindergarden teacher?)
“Im not gonna have a little tyrant running around the house... at least he can be a polite tyrant” Lmaoo 😂
You might be the only youtuber that honestly gives help all the others just advertise things i have really benefited from your knowledge on mommy stuff when i first became a new mom
I did this with my child 40 years ago. Following through every time seems like a lot of work and frustration for the parent, but it does work. You just have to realize that you will need to be doing it for a long time because kids and situations change as they get older, they will frequently challenge you, but you are always the parent. Also, as they get older, they get more verbal, and may have a good reason for wanting to wait before acting (the show is almost over, I want to finish this chapter, etc) so I learned to listen and give consideration to what he was saying, and “picked my battles”
Best advice my dad ever gave me when I had kids....FOLLOW THROUGH.
I'm gonna be honest... I used to watch every video you post .. when you start this channel and I saw how good was Carters learning and acting and playing in the other side my son who is a little bit younger was not getting much done..like I would buy him the same toys you recommend and he wouldn't even care or play with them .. I started feeling kinda jealous and and that I wasn't doing enough. I didn't want to see what you guys are doing anymore..I wanted to love my son the way he is and not have to compare him with your son , today I just came to check on your channel to see this video, and I really needed to see hear this. Thank you so much for all the good energy..keep it up!
Love everything about this new channel. I have always admired your parenting. You’re doing an amazing job raising such a happy, smart, and polite little boy.
Thank you so much 😭💕
Couldn’t leave a message on the potty training video. You uploaded that video just in time, I was almost ready to potty train my 3 year old daughter so I had bought everything already. Watching your video gave me reassurance that I can do it. I went for it the very next day and followed everything you suggested . My girl was fully potty trained(day time) in 3 days. Thankyou so so much x
Oh my gosh so happy to hear this!!!🙌🙌
VasseurMommy keep up the good work .. I have always watched ur videos for parenting tips .. you have made me a better mummy .. love you so so much 😘
I bless God for you doing this video because I have been going crazy with my 27 months old toddler who simply won't listen to any instructions I give her😇.
I've been thinking that I am the one who was doing it wrong, but after watching this, I realize it's a natural thing with toddlers around this age to be like this.
So thank you Brittany 💝🤗
Thank you so much for sharing this information! I'm a Spanish native speaker and my husband is not fluent in Spanish. I've been following this TH-cam channel that talks about this exact information but I've had difficulty translating and sharing the information with my husband. Now, thanks to you, I'll be able to share this knowledge with him and be on the exact same page. Thank you very much!
I have since this somewhere before I had kids, I have a 2year old and a 6 year old and I have to say this WORKS! I did it with both of them and still do and neither has ever had a tantrum in public, only try to do it at home a couple of times and after they saw it wasn't working they stopped. I've been able to take them anywhere with me and don't have to worry about them doing what there not suppose to. They are kids and they still try to get away with things not perfect but this helped me so much!!! Thank you for sharing it 😊 love your videos ❤
THIS WORKS! 👍🏼 I've never heard it explained this way but this is how I am with my kids and how I ran my classroom when I taught pre-k (minus time out in school). I honestly believe every parent should take some form of child psychology class. Just like anything new, the more you learn about it and how it operates (children in this example), the easier it is to understand the WHY behind the behavior and the HOW to get through it together. Just try to remind yourself that your child is not giving you a hard time, they are having a hard time. And it's up to us as the parent to work through things with them❤️
I saw this video right after a breakdown! My kid wasn’t listening. So this was like a revelation
Consistency and following through are EVERYTHING! You're so right about that one time you give in it all falls apart 😵 I use natural consequences (if you throw the soil then we stop digging, pinch me and that's the end of our cuddle etc.), but the same method of a warning and then always doing what you say you will 🙌 So simple, but fair and effective. Thank you for all your wonderful and honest content x x x
Logical and natural consequences are KEY!
Great tips. I highly recommend "Parenting from the Inside Out" - especially for anyone who may have come from somewhat dysfunctional or non-traditional homes. It helps you to see how and why you might react or overreact to certain things - particularly if you have more than one child. It never ceases to amaze me at how vastly different each of my four children are. Thanks for sharing. x Mel
I cannot read a book in an afternoon and I super appreciate you talking about & posting this! 💖 My 3 year old is having more meltdowns and I’m looking for ways to improve. Thank you!!!
Thank you for posting this. We have followed a 3 step method with my soon to be 2 year old. We have done it with no guidance but I hear so many parents repeating themselves with no disciplinary action to follow. This definitely is useful to put more guidance into our method and just downloaded the kindle app to be able to purchase this book. Thank you for sharing your experience. 💕
I have two kids. One is a 9 yo boy and I have a 3 and a half yo girl. I’ve done a time out discipline (very similar to what you explained here) with my son and it worked wonderfully. I started doing it with my daughter, it works but she is completely different child, so stubborn and takes everything to heart (girl 😄). But this method works for sure! 💖
Massive fan of this approach. Always, always, always follow thru. But equally, only ever "threaten" (awful word, but no other will suffice) consequences that you can realistically and feasibly put into action.
i'm going to tell my daughter to watch this video, Brittany. She's running into the same discipline problems with my 5 yo grandson. Thank you for the info on the book and your honest testimony to its value.
I love this so much! We do this already and we have also had so many conversations about making sure we only use it for: dangerous situations, hurting us or someone else, and following directions that just need to be followed (come inside, time to put our shoes on etc). And we experienced the same result! We only have had to follow through a handful of times before he learned we were serious and he just listens now! Every once in awhile he will still need us to follow through, but often not!
I truly appreciate your honesty in this video. I have a 2 year old boy and we have been having similar issues. I truly appreciate hearing advice and experiences from other moms. Thank you!!!
Loved the video! ❤️I have seen something similar with the super nanny. But she doesn’t send the kids to their room. They have timeout on the stairs. She doesn’t want their playroom to have negative vibes. And also the timeout is as long as the kids age.
Love this video ♥️ I have a 2 year old that does not listen to ME only listens to her DAD. Same goes for my two dogs they WILL only listen to their DAD!! So I’ve been using this method for me in order to discipline all of them cause it basically feels like I have 3 children in the house... it’s been great and working for me so far since we’re home now and keeping up with everything. Thank you for the chance to be entered in the Giveaway. Wish everyone luck!
It is indeed very important that the mother and father have the same authority. Otherwise your children may only listen to one of the parents and that's very frustrating for the other parent!
Bravo to you!! I totally applaud you and your efforts of what you’re doing with your beautiful son!! As an older mom of a now 20 & 16 yr. old & master’s degreed in elementary education teacher, I totally agree with you!! Children thrive on boundaries, routines, and consistency!! It’s huge!! It gives them security as well as an anticipatory set of expectations!! When children begin school without socialization/behavior skills they tend to do poorly when asked to follow rules within a classroom or school setting. Learning ‘no’ means ‘no’ at a young age is soooo very important to their future behavior, which will ultimately converge with their ability to learn, focus, and deal with distractions. Discipline is not easy but so very necessary in the overall development & growth of your child. Learning there is an appropriate time & place for certain behaviors is critical. So congratulations to you on seeing the importance of appropriate behavior!!!!!!! Thank you on behalf of my follow teachers & society as a whole!!! Congratulations again on a job well done!!!!!!👏👏👏👏🤩👍🎉❤️
I don't have small children....I am a great grandmother...but I wish I had had this knowledge when my own were small! I am really enjoying this new channel...been following since before Carter was born. I really wanted to let you know that I loved the fact that in your last video you gave a head's up on what your next video would be....wish all channels did that!
Thank you for sharing! My son turned 3 in December and he started not listening out of nowhere, testing me and getting away with so much..
I will give this a try! ❤️❤️
What a great video, Brittany! ❤️
My parents had kind of the same parenting style with me and my sister and it worked very well.
I just needed a rational explanation and that mostly did it for me, so the time out was never really used.
We had very few, but very logical rules and my parents were extremely consequent. I always knew, what their reaction would be.
I did not even acted out in puberty.
I employed the same style with my two lovely stepsons. And they gave me the best compliment a couple of months ago. They are now 15 and 17 years old and said, that even though I'm so very consequent and that that would be sometimes annoying, they really appreciate that and me for always being there for them and giving them, what they need. ❤️ To hear that from hormone-strucken teens! My heart! ❤️
Not that anyone thinks, they are the perfect angels. They most definitely are not. :-D They are normal teens and pick on each other, would rather play games than do their homework and stay awake until dawn. They do act out. But they understand, where we are coming from and that we are always there for them to discuss and eventually set new boundaries.
And kids really do need boundaries to feel safe. More so when they are younger. But even the almost 18 year old let it slip, that he knows we are right. ;-)
I just realized you are my mom guru. LOL! This video came just in time because my 2-year-old is pushing boundaries more and more and he responds really well to traditional time-outs so I think he will do amazing with this method. I'm so thrilled to see this channel active again. :)
This type of thing works great for my kids, because they know exactly what to expect and they feel safe and secure. I really appreciate your caveats at the end. It's important to let kids be kids and give them freedom. Also, when it works, I like to have more natural consequences. Like, "I only ask twice because otherwise, it takes too much of my energy and I can't do fun things with you. If you can't come inside now, I can't bake the cookies I was going to/do our reading time together/set up that game for you, etc". But timeout can also be a natural consequence because it gives mama a break!
Thank you so much !!!! It’s only been couple days and my toddler is listening me much better !! This works !!!!
I needed this video. We have been disciplining very similar to this, but using a counting 1...2...3 With 3 being time out. This has been 50% effective for us. I like the ask, tell then action approach. I also think it is very important to do the full 3-minute in timeout and were going to be better about this. THANK YOU!
I just can't love you more Brittany, you are my role model, I hope to be as good a mother as you are 💕 I will try this method with my daughter
Glad the book gives a scenario 3 solution because I’m pretty sure that’s where we will end up 😂😭 I was just telling my husband that I need a professional like super nanny or something because my 3 yr old has been acting out so much. She’s on the spectrum and can be very difficult. I will definitely read the book and give it a try. Thank you for sharing!
I need to try this method, I have identical triplet boys that turned 3years old, 2 weeks ago. I can see how they aren’t listening and testing boundaries. It’s really hard when you are dealing 3 toddlers who are working as a team against you.Thank you for sharing this method.
The first thing that came to mind was the chancla.
Bahahaha
Or a good old hand pop
I did basically the same thing raising my 2 sons as a single Mom. I did the counting to 3 method. It took a while, maybe a week, but by keeping it consistent it worked until they just listened the first time. And absolutely pick your battles and use only when it's important. Now that was over 40 years ago with no social media but it worked. This book sounds so great. I'm going to get the book bc I have a 5-year-old granddaughter and it will help with I'm taking care of her. Good advice ❤💚💜💙💛
every time there's an upload on this channel I rush to watch even though I am single and do not want kids at this point and maybe ever. not sure what that says about me but what it says about you is you're great at breaking down a lot of research and trial/error into simple, effective strategies that meaningfully improve peoples' lives
You are one of the few mommies I like to watch and definitely worth turning on my notifications for your videos 👏🏻 can’t wait for more mommy videos like this, I have tried some of your techniques & they worked for my daughter, so thank you! Your awesome 💕
I read this book after you mentioned it in a previous video. Absolute game changer! About an 80% improvement in tantrums and cooperation in a week. Definitely recommend this book!!
Loving this new channel Brittany!!! Thank you for creating such a great place for mamas 🤍
Thank you! 😭😭
I’ve been waiting so long for you to post mommy tips ! Yayyy favorite channel! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I ran a State Licensed Daycare from my home and I supervised 6 children, all 3 years old. I used this tried and true method that you are talking about. I only used it IF they harmed another child. It was in the corner in my livingroom, where I could still see them, and 1 minute for every year of age. It worked like a charm! I loved those children, but I didn't want them to grow up mini-tyrants or bullies.Also if they hurt one another, they had to say "I'm sorry" and hug each other. That seemed to help tremendously. Carter is lucky to have you as a Mom.
Omg, this couldn’t have came at the best time... I’m currently going through it with my daughter and she’s almost 2 1/2. Thank you for having the courage to even share your tips and tricks. I know it’s a touchy subject but if I could have chose who to take advice from it would be you ! Lol thank you !! 🥰
My son is about to be 3 this month and omg has it been tough so this really came at a perfect time because mommy has been crying in the bathroom a lot lately
Thanks girly 💕
Love the system...as a parent of 3, my only personal tweek, for myself (ny kids are now 15,19,and 21) I only ever said it once!!! For me I wanted my kids to listen to me the first time. If I ever had to yell stop, because of an oncoming car in a parking lot, or any other safety situation. I wanted and needed instant obedience! With 3 kids I couldn't always hold each hand or carry all 3, my words HAD to mean something the first time. Love you! And as u said we are all just doing our best, and what we feel comfortable with for our own kids!
I've really been struggling finding a positive way to approach the tantrums and battles that come with the terrible twos... definitely gonna give this book a try!
Thank you for making this video Brittany!!! 🙌🏻 I am a pleaser like you and I needed this to help me with my 3 year old.
I absolutely love your family!!!! I’m so happy with this second channel 💓
My daughter turns 4 in 3 days and I’m so glad you uploaded this video. Not even halfway through and I definitely plan on checking this book out.
My son is turning 2 and he sure does not listen. Will for sure trying this for sure . Thanks for keeping us informed.
I just finished reading this book because of your recommendation and I also took notes along the way to share with my husband! I am most definitely a Pleaser parent who was raised by a Pushover parent and a Forcer parent. My husband is more of an Outlier parent. I think the book had some great strategies and a lot to think about. I can say applying the actual "Ladder" method for my 23 month old is not going to work just yet because he is still too young to understand going to his room as a "time out" or "cool down" so we are focusing more on how we speak and expect him to respond. I have noticed a huge difference cutting out questions instead of commands like "will you please clean up now?" instead of "It is time to clean up." That has made a difference in him listening. We have also used her methods for meal time troubles. If he eats awesome, if not we don't make a thing or struggle out of it. We put his plate away and if he asks for a snack later he gets the previous meal back to finish. It works WONDERS! Other great ideas but these are what stick out for me. I highly recommend others reading this book as well.
I have used this method strategically so it was reassuring to hear you talk about it. We use a chair, not the bedroom. I want his bedroom to remain his positive space. I also use the word “break” and “timeout” interchangeably because we discuss that even adults need breaks. We practice a lot of deep breathing together.
I love this video. Thank you for the tips. My daughter turned three in March and I’m going to try these on my daughter.
Thank you for sharing this! I’m so glad you rebumped your family channel. You’re videos are great information. I have a 2 1/2 years old and I love your videos. Very inspirational
I'm going to get this book to help me with my 4 year old. Thanks for sharing!
Hey Brittany loved this video. I have the same mindset as you and surprisingly I have been doing this method without knowing. I try not to do his room as timeout because I don’t want him to see his room as a bad place. So I’ll just sit him down on the couch and not let him get up until time is up
This is everything I need! My 3 year old is my second child but my 5 year old is a total angel child and I had no idea how good I had it 😂
Can’t wait to read this book! I’ve always implemented what I call a “green, yellow, red light” method and it sounds like this is backing that up! 😍
Yes I also don't have any children,not even planning but still m watching your videos bcz you are my inspiration.lv u sis
Thank you so much for posting this! I bought the book and it’s changed our entire household!
Thank you thank you! Love this channel!! I haven't read this book, but as a mom of a special needs child, many of the things you quoted from this book i have learned from others moms of special needs children and researchand classes I've taken. . So really..i feel like this is a good book for any parent of any child, because really all children are different. I just feel we need to be gentle but firm with our children..wouldn't we as a society do better if everyone was gentle and firm with one another. Make your yes mean yes and your no mean no ;) love your vlogs!!! And seeing your beautiful family!!
I am following her seriously like forever 🥰so happy to see her every time she post something new and interesting 😊 she inspires me to start my own channel 👍🏻
Thank you so much for sharing! I just bought the book and can’t wait to try this on my 3 year old!
I would love to know what you do about your eating, the morning sickness from both pregnancies, what you do if you're not feeling good while having to keep an eye on your 3 year old? Thank you. Love your videos!
You are such a great mom! I trust everything you say bec you research like a beast! Thank you for sharing ! I literally love all of your videos on this channel!
Omg I needed this! I’m losing my mind with my 4 kiddos and they are just out of control now that we are all home all day.. we all need a little more structure in our lives
I have tried this and so many methods with my 2 (3 in May) non-verbal ASD son... it has been very difficult! I do agree tho, no matter what method you use, using it every single time is important! I also have a 16 week old and he knows exactly when i am not able to be on top of him, he waits till I'm feeding or putting the baby to sleep and then goes nuts and will climb on counters. Kids are so smart... too smart!
Brittany, you are such a smart woman, you're just the best! I really look up to you. ☆
I *love* how you show/proove beautiful is not the opposite of smart/intelligente! ♡
Thanks, Brittany, for sharing this method! I was always against time-outs, but now as my son is nearing three, not that he listens at all, he does his best to do everything on the contrary. I will definitely read the book, we desperately need any solution. That would also be awesome, if you could share any tips about sleep and especially moving a toddler from crib to a new bed.
This is really helpful. Thanks dear Brittany.
Giving a time out has positive long term effects.
We always timed out our son in a small recessed area in the hallway. After a while he started timing himself out whenever he felt stressed.
One day when our son was 5 or 6 he was having a kinda rough day, and he put himself in time out.
After a few minutes he came back and said he had talked everything over with his friend Oobi and that he was feeling much better.
We were like, "Who's Oobi?"
Our son took us to his time out place and pointed to a defunct light switch that looked like a goofy face, and said, "That's Oobi. I talk to him until I feel better."
Timing out definitely helps kids understand and manage their emotions.
Wow that's so interesting to hear! Thank you for sharing this story :)
I have a two years old and I actually follow a very similar method. The one diffrence is that I tend to explane to him why he's doing time out and I would congratulate him for it afterwords so maybe I'll be making changes in that area. Besides, I'll try to be more consistant with the 3 steps. Thank you for sharing ❤
I am loving this channel! I think you are so wise and humble!!!
I'm in total agreement on not punishing for food and potty but sleep not sold. I'll need to read why. But I have 4 oldest is 5&1/2 and im a big fan of nicely asking first then 1,2,3 then time out (minute for their age starting at 1yo) ... so glad you found something that works for you all!
Great video/info! I am so excited for your new channel and can’t wait for all the amazing things it/you will offer.
Who would it say it, 🥰😍Carter looks like a sweet little angel to me 🤔can't imagine him misbehaving with his mommy🤗
really enjoyed this video! ❤️ i don't have a kid, but i enjoy learning and it's awesome to hear about your experiences. also, i went through your amazon favorites page and added many of your fav books to my reading list. i would looove videos in which you discuss some of your all time fav books. ❤️❤️❤️
Haven't read the book BUT having raised 2 children.... and doing daycare 25 years ... this works AMAZINGLY. I've had huge results with this. ♡
Honestly I feel like this method was something that I automatically did with my own children. Never knew there was a name for it till now, really interesting! I kind of molded my own discipline method as I took care of my own son and my Sunday School tots class. Children are smart no matter the age. I can't get behind feeling guilt for time-outs though, in reality even as adults we need our own "time-outs". My son will sometimes even excuse himself out of the room when he feels overwhelmed so he can collect his thoughts, just like how we as adults need time for ourselves to regain composure. My parents were old school so of course I was dealt with "the hand" or even "la chancla". I didn't want to repeat what I was taught but I also felt like kids do need to understand when the foot is down. When I started teaching tots I grew my own method by watching other parents and molding what I felt worked for all kids. Positive discipline should still be filled with love but have enough of a dynamic where the child knows who is the one in charge.
If anyone needs to see what this looks like I’m pretty sure this is what super nanny uses it helped me learn what to do by seeing multiple examples.
This is so good! Wish I would've tried this awhile ago w/my 6 year old. Still may try to implement it! Thanks for sharing 💕
I read this book a couple weeks ago because you mentioned it on your other channel and I agree, it is amazing!!! Thank you for the recommendation 😍
I have been waiting for this video. Thank you!
Love these!!!! Happy you revived this channel! ❤️
Will definitely be trying this method out. Thanks for the video Brittany 👍🏽
Thank you for sharing you have truly inspired me to be a better mom overall. And you are glowing 😁👍🏻🌺
I really recommend you read Janet Lansburys work. She also has a podcast called unruffled :)
She's such a genius
I love Janet Lansbury. I love her book No Bad Kids too as well as her podcast.
I love Janet too!!
Janet is the best!
I've been using positive discipline since my daughter was very little and I have an "angel child", like Britanny said. She's 3 and usually a first time listener. I don't believe in time out, I believe in cooperation. She understands why ask what I ask and she's usually happy to cooperate. When she's not cooperating, I am firm and say that she can choose how she'll do it or I will choose (for ex, she needs a shower. I ask her to come and she doesn't listen. I will ask again and say that she will choose how to come to the bathroom, like she'll walk or I'll carry her. If she's not listening, I say that I'll count to 3 and if I get to 3 she'll not have the privilege of choosing, because then I'll make my own choice. She has maybe once gotten to 3, then I went and carried her). Positive discipline is being gentle, but firm and knowing that you can't control your child, you can only control your own reactions. At 3 all they want in the world is to make choices, so I give her the opportunity to choose what is negotiable and how she'll do the non-negotiable.
Exactly this is what I feel is the safest thing to do for children. Time-outs are polite ways of saying solitary confinement. Time-outs are teaching a child that you will reject them when they do things you don’t like. I’ve just never been able to get on board with that.
can you add a video on sleep training? i remember you mentioning (way back) that you didn't sleep train? i didn't sleep train my first but I'm also pregnant with my second. and our parenting styles seem to match (hence i watch your channel religiously) and i am also a "pleaser" THANK YOU BRITTANY!!!
Yes coming soon!
Love this method!!! Similar to what we were doing in our home but ... we've fallen off the wagon during quarantine and this is giving me the inspiration to get back on track. I also think this is simpler than what we were doing before and likely easier to be consistent but still compassionate.
Can you please do a video on sleep training???? I love how thorough you are with the content you put out.
yes it's coming soon! possibly next Saturday or the week after