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You no I met my girlfriend on TH-cam comments talking about water. We instantly swapped Instagrams and we spoke straight away about are mental health problems we both have. From the very first phone call. She’s so open and honest it’s amazing to see. We have are ups and downs but we move forward together and I love her so so much and respect her and her family a lot. And I would do anything I possibly can within my power to help her. At times I truly think she is to good for a guy like me. But she loves me a lot as I her. I honestly can’t believe I found a beautiful soul like her. I’m 41 she’s 37. She truly is one in a million and far to good for a guy like me. And I thank my god mannin for bringing us both together. And again thank you for your great content your putting out on TH-cam. Much respect to you and your family. Keep up the great work 🙏
One thing you didn't mention is Du and Sie. I'm English and in 1969 I moved to Cologne just down the road from Düsseldorf. I returned to England in 1982, probably speaking better German than English after so many years of total immersion. My late sister also had a great interest in Germany and went there to work in a children's home. She married a German medical student who is now retired and living near Hamburg. Thus I still have firm ties to Germany and usually visit three times a year. But the pandemic stopped all that. I haven't been since December 2019. However, what I do notice there nowadays is the use of Du and Sie. When I started living in Köln, one used Sie, the polite form of you, when addressing practically anyone. Even among my work colleagues of roughly the same age we used Sie. For my managers I remained a Sie right to the day I left. So it is surprising now, in Germany, to hear complete strangers saying Du. Older people (which I am now!) probably say Sie most of the time, but younger people, certainly in Hamburg, use Du as a matter of course. It's sad in a way. "Sie" gave one the comfort of Abstand, just a touch of formality, especially when speaking with officials at the Einwohnermeldeamt and similar authorities. But it's weird to ask a member of staff in a department store where one can find a particular item and he or she may well reply, Das kannst Du im Erdgeschoß bekommen, tschüss! If you needed to share a table in a restaurant with strangers, you'd always say auf Wiedersehen on leaving, never tschüss.
Mental health has such a bad stigma in so many countries it’s so sad. I once heard somebody say they don’t go to therapy because they are afraid it would open up too many unresolved issues that they don’t want to dig deeper.
Lots of people think like that. They don't act until their suffering becomes intolerable, and not even then sometimes. Also, therapists are rather scarce and there a long waiting lists/times.
😔💛 that breaks my heart just reading this. And I hear it all the time from many of my friends here. Being more open and upfront about what we are going through - both good and bad - helps us find the right support much sooner! 🥰
The stigma with mental health is so real, and in most European countries! (at least in my case). I applied as an exchange student to many European countries and they rejected me because I was taking pills for anxiety (which was due to school stress which wouldn’t apply when I was there because the credits don’t transfer). Luckily Germany accepted me under certain conditions but it was crazy how that was handled compared to in North America
I think we just know, that at work there are always some people who would talk bad about you behind your back. That's why we don't talk too much about personal things like sex or mental health with colleagues. It also depends on the education level or on the environment. I mean on a construction side they probably talk less about depression and phobias as in a hospital or as teachers at school, social workers etc. Same applies to jobs in which power plays a role.. They don't want to show any flaws or weaknesses... Düsseldorf is also known as a city whre many wealthy people live. Maybe there it's more important to appear strong and in good health?
You’re definitely right! And also, that’s definitely very much possible in Düsseldorf, due to the level of high earners here… which would be super unfortunate 😫.
@@lifeingermany_ I'm sure there are many open-minded people also in Düsseldorf. And generally it's getting better. Please, don't get discouraged! Do you already know the german word "Schweigespirale" (spiral of silence)?
Oh dear - this is going to be a rather longer commentary - just a warning..😉 1. Mental health well, it`s a touchy subject. I'm suffering from depression for about 15 years now and have had quite some experiences when mentioning it to other people. Some will seriously engage in a conversation with you (which is generally a good thing) and others just say "oh, come on, pull yourself together. I also have days where I don't feel good". With the latter kind you can't talk about mental health issues at all. Also, there comes a stigma with this. Some people tend to regard you as a nutcase or think it's a sign of personal weakness. I will say though that some of these talking points have changed since some celebs have publicly mentionend that they're suffering from depression as well. So I think it's a process in the making... 2. Sex being a generation older than you are my expierences are that talking about sex with my parents was strictly off limits. Not because they said so but as a teen I got the strong vibe from my parents that this would be simply inappropriate. My parents were'nt that much affectionate to each other so I didn't feel like talking about sex, love or a broken heart with them. In a relationship however it is vital to be able to talk about this with one another. How else do you get to know what your partner wants and vice versa? Being open to your friends talking about sex isn't that much difficult if it just sratches the surface and doesn't go into detail. In that regard I guess I'm a child of the age I grew up in. 3. Salary that point I don't get either. I don't know why it is a taboo topic - it just is ... 4. Personal life at work hm, I think you're right. It takes us Germans a lot of time to consider someone a friend. And opening up to new collegues to soon may result in office gossip which might even ruin your career opportunities in you new job. I've always been very careful sharing personal information because sadly I've witnessed (personally and and with other people) what can happen if you're choosing the wrong person to tell about your personal life. 5. Politics, Covid, refugees I agree that conversations about those topics can go downhill very fast. It depends on the people you're having that kind of conversation with. A lot of people are not that interested in an exchange of thoughts. They have their opinions and won't really listen to yours if it differs from their own. And some won't even let get facts in the way of having that opiniion. I don't know about Canada but if you want to see it being carried too far just observe what's happening in the US right now... I'm done. My fingers are numb. Thanks for this video and yes I would like to see one in which you talk about politics and refugees and stuff - be it in German or English. But be careful though - you could open a can of worms there and expose yourself to massive critisism from the troll army...💛 Btw: nice idea - the "Zutritt verboten" sign..👍
RE: mental health… yes! Definitely still a process in the making. Hopefully more bigger names in the media will come out so we can completely abolish this idea of everyone being a “nutcase” 😣💛 And yes, it’s the same in Canada regarding politics… it’s a slippery slope! I’d also like to talk about my experience hosting a family from the Ukraine on TH-cam, but am so hesitant. I already wrote out an entire script, but fully understand one wrong word and it could cause an uproar. 😔
Yes please, tell us about your experiences housing refugees. I was helping in the 2015 refugee crisis, and I still take care of some of the foreigners I met then. So this time around, I had a lot of experience - and was more hesitant to get involved. So I am really curious about your thoughts on this topic.
Hey, interesting video! Mental health: With close friends and close family members, I discuss our mental healths frequently and extensively. With everybody else: rather not. I've had a few negative experiences in the past, when my openness on these subjects was not appreciated (misunderstood, ridiculed).
Well, I do not talk about religion or politics to other people who are not good friends because I have my opinion and do not want to discuss this with others. I do think that everybody has the right to think what they want but I do not necessarily need to hear it because it might make me mad. People have their opinions and stick to them so why bother trying to convince them otherwise. A few years ago I had a lot to cope with and got depressive. I was ashamed and therefore pretended to be alright, even towards my friends. When I finally opened up I realized that a lot of my friends had problems as well. I learned how important it is to talk about it to get better.
I’m so so happy to hear that you found comfort in confiding with close friends though! 🥰 It’s not an easy step, but you’re right! So many of us go through the same struggles as well. The more I opened up, the better I felt too. 🙃
Talking with friends is much easier then with the family (parents, etc.) Talking with "the person on your side" is necessary ;) Friends ... usually u have just a few of them ... you know .. these people who came at 3 am to you when you feal bad / come to hospital / etc. The rest are buddies (Kumpel), maybe 1 or 2 would help when you're moving to a new apartmen ... nothing more. 99 % of work collegues are just buddies or less. Work / Live Balance means to split it!
Everything comes down to the experiences that you've made so far. I expect people disagreeing with you on several points. I won't say that it is (only) a regional matter, but keep it (more) at the individual level.
Totally understand that 🙃 I always try and remember to make that disclaimer verbally. However, naturally, all of my content is based around my own personal experiences here in Germany as an immigrant.
Actual we do talk about these topics. But with very specific groups of friends. Mental health is only a topic to really close friends that you could call your brother or sister. Money, germans are just not so big show offs than Americans or Canadians. Why should my friends be interested in my income? It just be a reason to divide the group of friends. And germans have a really evil eye for show offs. One thing, maybe it's not so exactly explained and matched, is that germans are more basic/functional in there everyday interaction. Its more the what would a other aspect from me and what do aspect from them. Don't disturb others with your own being more than in this particular situation is necessary.
@@lifeingermany_ I'm an immigrant too but I've noticed a world of difference between my experiences in Germany, having moved here from England, and that of Immigrants from North America who post on TH-cam. Many topics raised by NA's are really things that are common throughout Western Europe and not just a German thing.
@@lyndaf.6329 that’s very true!! And although I’ve travelled around Europe a lot, you don’t notice the little things until you actually live somewhere for a few years. However, for me to say “taboo topics in Europe” would be even worse considering I only really know the comparisons I have between North America and Germany.
I think the mental health thing is slowly changing though! I am in my mid twenties and while it’s still an uncomfortable topic for some most of my friends and family do have open and honest conversations about it with regards to those being treated for anxiety, depression and so on but also regarding prevention, which is often disregarded until it’s too late.
I don't know where to start here, let's just say I think your North American roots are showing here. I'm English but have lived in Germany nearly 40 years and I'm obviously an older generation to you, but I do have a 25 year old daughter who is German and was brought up here to compare with.Basically , in my opinion, you can substitute Germany for the majority of Europe in the "Taboos" you mention. Having a therapist, and thinking that a Therapist is essential in your life, if soooo American and alien to European thinking. However a close relative of mine, plus two friends have recently had mental health problems. All received the help and therapy they need and all talked about it openly and received nothing but support. My experience is that Germans are open to speaking about mental health and maybe in 2022 have a more down to earth approach about it than Americans who all seem to need a Therapist. The same goes for sex. My daughter is very open about sexual matters but I would never have spoken to my parents about such things, but I do with my female friends. Again Europeans do not on the whole talk about their sex lives except with close friends. How much you earn is for me a big Taboo, it's no one else's business and I've no desire to know how much my friends earn. I take them as they come not for what they earn.I was brought up this way and most people I know think the same...again European thinking?? And last but not least, small talk in the workplace. Well I've worked over the years with lots of different Germans, still do, and we have always talked about our personal life and families, so I don't know where that came from. Your last point about politics/refugees/covid is a pointless argument to make because from what I've experienced in my life is that these topics raise tempers regardless of the country or culture. You try bringing up these topics in England , throw in Brexit and H&M and you have blast off!!!!! I'm not criticising you just giving a different perspective from someone who was brought up in Europe and has relatives in Canada...who all have a therapist and I often ask WHY? Answer they give is sadly "because I just do, it's normal."
Totally understand, and not taking it as criticism at all. 🙃 My thoughts are often coming from my Canadian roots! A lot of what I say can apply to the whole of Europe, but without this knowledge, I can only compare the living situations I’ve been through. ✊
There are no taboos. I'm not crazy, my parents had no sex, i have no friends cause i'm the boss therefore make the most money of all and at last, talk about politics as long as you share my oppinions in the end!! ========== in real ========== With a few close friends, i talk about everything to the detail, if we make it a topic. With all others, it depends on the place, time and level of knowing (forgot alc). For smalltalk i mostly stay on the surface. Talking to people who shout their slogans and are not interested in a discussion will not happen at all. A good talk doesn't have to end with the one and only right oppinion in general. No, everyone should be free to have an own oppinion. If mine, wrong or right doesn't matter. Just stay peace- and respectful. Have a nice und nich zu heiß weekend Ciao P.s. silly german health tip: drink enough
Haha 💛 I think it’s similar for many others too! Conversations, unless with close friends or family, usually don’t get too deep. Some Canadians have a tendency to say more than they should too early on 😂.
I think it’d be rude to ask anywhere 😝 .. maybe not anywhere, but many countries! Even in Canada. I’m just always surprised how many people openly discuss their wages without being asked!
Resently we started talking about mental health issues such as depression, e.g. by Torsten Sträter and Kurt Krömer. And of course it is very important foe getting rid of such things being a stigma. The same holds for sexual themes. We are beginning to talk more openly about it which is good for several reasons: To take the topic out of the _Schmuddelecke_ and to encourage people to talk about it when sexually harassed or assaulted. I once read a _Leserbrief_ whos author claimed we needed a _saubere Moral_ again because of all the assaults newly heared about. Of course, the opposite is true: Prudery is the rapist's best friend. Assaults might be more seldom heared about but happen much more often in a 1950s style society. Money: Talking about your salary has a bit the odium of the _Mein Haus, mein Auto, meine Frau_ ads where someone _prahlt_ with his pretty high income. Talking about the money you had to spend on goods is much less a taboo. However, an uncle of mine once said: _"Ich verdiene sehr viel Geld, ich krieg's nur nicht." This is a pun which only works in German where _verdienen_ (to earn) also means to deserve.
Well, I think this is a taboo subject universally. I don't talk about sex or politics with colleagues or acceptances. I don't talk about money or sex even with most of my family members. Especially, money because human beings are envious and jealous.
Except for the last (friendship at work), I could relate to all, in the sense that I also don’t like to talk about all that. And I’m not German. I have the feeling that this has more to do with being man than being German 😅. I don’t see my male friends talking about mental health or their salaries neither, here or in the other 3 countries I have lived in Europe and South America.
Moin Jennamama, hatte auch schon depressionen. War eine krass harte Zeit. Aber ich habe kein Problem damit, darüber zu reden. Interessante Punkte, die du da ansprichst! Urlaubsgrüße vom Ijsselmeer Holland! Stave save, your und deine 3,5 !.. Kopf-Family!
man sollte nie ein Problem haben, darüber zu sprechen! 🥰 Hab einen wunderbaren Zeit in Holland! Mein Sohn hatte heute seinen letzten Kita-Tag - also jetzt fangt unsere Sommerferien an! 🤩
Germans whose grandparent and parents made the experiences at the second world war with rapes by foregn soldiers and death and expulsion without mental health assistance after that didn´t learn to talk about sex, because the grandparents and parents couldn´t talk about that due to this experiences. Not talking about ones salary is justified in the prohibition in companies to let others know about the salary. We cannot say, if this information get to the company by unknown ways. Talking about private things is also a thing that in that situation you are not working and get money for that ? And talking about that after work is the same as you already has spoke about. And that is that is hard to make friends in Germany, more than in other countries. Ths is valid also for Germans.
You are allowed to lie about mental illness during a job interview in Germany. And a prospective employer is not normally allowed to ask, except if a mental illness would directly hinder you from doing the job in question or pose a grave safety risk (e.g. airline pilot or police officer).
To 1. To loyal friends I would talk about pot. Mental issues, but to casual people. People stab you a knife in your back, if they want to. 2. Sex should be private. I don't want to hear about sex of my friends and I don't tell. The topic from parents to kids is something else. The talk about protection and stuff. 3. I don't mind to talk about my income, except coworkers. The problem, we Germans tend to be really jealous and this can bring you lot of trouble. 4. I talk to people, who I trust almost personal. But in normal case I seperate work and privat and I don't see any problem with that. 5. The society here, as in north America, is strongly decided. And there is this thing, when you have the "wrong" opinion you can get life ruined for it in the worst case.
Mental Health - you're talking to the wrong people. I struggled with depression in the past and I've been very communicative about it. The same goes with my son's disability of Autism Spectrum Disorder (in his case Asperger's). Most people just don't know about mental health issues and I'm the one to lecture as many people as I can get hold of bc I agree that this should not be a taboo topic. Sex is a private topic. I don't talk about it to just everybody I meet in the street but I sure talk about it with my family and friends (in various degrees). With my female friends, I sometimes go into the nitty gritty. With my sons, I would never discuss my personal sex life, yet if they have problems with their partners, I will not shy away from a discussion, esp. as they don't have a father to talk about it anymore. Salary - we don't talk about how much money we make bc we don't want to boast. And it's only the higher office/management jobs and the self-employed people that are unclear. Take a professor at a university - as long as you know their "Besoldungsgruppe" you can find out exactly how much they make. The same goes for every job where a "Tarifvertrag" is applicable. There is no need to talk about it, everybody who wants to know, knows it anyway. Co-workers are acquaintances. To become friends takes time. The "rona". I'm so fed up with the topic, I don't want to talk about it.
You make a valid point about salaries in Germany, it is easy to find out roughly what someone earns fron their profession, but on the whole people are just not interested in how much their friends and relatives earn.
Yeeees 💛✊ you’re right! This should be a taboo topic at all! My mom and sister in law are teachers for children on the autism spectrum and do such a fantastic job and normalizing all disorders in everyday society. It inspires me everyday to be the light and a positive advocate for others too! RE: knowing peoples salaries, you’re right! I always find this so interesting. In Canada, there’s really no table or chart that will tell you how much someone makes, including professors at universities
Hi Jenna, I think North America is obsessed with sex and that's why it's talked about a lot more in Canada, for example. Also in my opinion, these are the excesses of a puritanically influenced culture. Is there anyone naked? Oh my goodness, how can that be? What a crime. The greatest sexual debauchery found fertile soil in England, of all places, during the Victorian era. I mean it's not a coincidence. When it comes to mental health, I'm conflicted. If I'm not mentally healthy, it can be interpreted as a weakness in professional life, that's why nobody talks about it. Mentally unhealthy has a different connotation than when I broke my leg. My sister is a psychologist and therefore I know that there are not enough specialists in her profession. You may have experienced first-hand that Germans tend to be reserved towards strangers at first. Of course, you can also see that at work. When I've worked with people for several years, I usually know a lot about their private lives and vice versa as well. In North America, it is considered good manners to bracket controversial topics from the outset. Germany also has topics that have great potential for disputes, so you avoid them right away.
Mental health? Maybe you might be right. Sex?You're completely wrong! - On the contrary; this is the German's favorite topic, after the weather!I am only 19, but we talk about personal preferences under 4 eyes and even in the circle of friends.Money? To be honest, I was never interested in what others earned and I was never asked about it. But if an acquaintance asked me, he would also get an answer.Personal life? I already believe that employees among colleagues also talk a lot about it; at least with whom you work longer.Politics? Although it is a difficult topic, it is also a very popular one.
I would not appreciate my wife spilling our sex life in front of all our friends, acquaintances, colleagues and family members. I can't believe Canadians do that.
In my opinion not every Mental Health problem needs a therapist. I know, in the US capitols its modern for wealthy people to have a personal therapist, that they can call and text every time they have a problem. But you are getting weaker by allways calling for help instead of trying to solve your problems by yourself. In the US therapy has become a business, and as you said, everyone of your friends got pills and drugs. Happy pharmacy, that is insane. Mankind has a lot of mental strength to survive hard times. There were thousands of wars and millions of people survived with traumas, but were able to overcome their traumas and live their lives without a single therapist. Otherwise half of Europe would have had Mental Health díseases after WW2. Perhaps they had, but they had no time for thinking about it, because they had to struggle to survive. Perhaps it is a problem of modern societies? - Instead of that, people with serious long time mental health diseases should be treated specifically with maximum support. THEY need help and must not get a stigma.
Is it possible that (not) talking about sex is a generational thing? My mom is "über Sex spricht man nicht" not even with her partner. I'm pretty open, depending on who I'm talking too. (I wouldn't share this with co-workers.) Time will tell if my daughter will trust me with this topic, but she's completely open with all issues connected to puberty, sexual identity and anything teenagers have to deal with. I don't believe I'm the only 'cool' mom to her generation. :D
You forgot how alot of Germans love it when you talk about your personal life begore realising its not done, because its a bloodsport fun to use it against you later as a weapon. Now even if they ask, i say nothing.
Also with the sex stuff, my American girlfriends and i discuss details of our sex life. Like de.tails. It took me foreeeeeeever to get anywhere near that with my German girlfriends. And its still not the same. I wonder if its a cultural thing? 🤔🤔🤔 Ok first of all, Are you prepping for Octoberfest with that top? I am loving the off the shoulder look! I completely agree, in my experience the mental health / emotional well-being topic is compleeeeetely off the table in families. Also, I am in a bunch of twin mom groups in Germany and the amount of them that get to go on ‘Mutter-Kind-Kur’ is just amazing and I wish it were something the US would offer! ( one can dream, right? 🤣)
Hahahah I’m also a huge fan of these Eltern-Kind programs here! And not to mention the affordability of them. 🤩🥰 Hhaha and RE: the Oktoberfest style 😂 I’m prepping early! Hahah… aka. Throwing on whatever fits me at the moment (I refuse to buy overpriced pregnancy clothes unless I have to! The idea of not being able to wear them 3 months from now drives me insane 😂😂)
I think a lot of those points can be summed up as Germans being private. I think a lot of them do talk about those topics, but only with people close to them. I wish they were more open about sex though. Especially with their partner. How much you make actually is a taboo, I agree on that. I think that has to do with how much your social status is tied to your income. You don't want to put yourself above the person you are talking to by disclosing that you make more than them. It also might be seen as bragging. And politics are not reall taboo, you just have to be prepared for a discussion and some topics just aren't very pretty. Like I would't bring up Trump or abortion rights right now in the US. I would actually would be very curious to know if north American parents really are more open about sex with their children, especially when you factor in areas like the bible belt.
Definitely! I think politics is a slippery slope in many countries, though there’s enough internationals moving to germany that still don’t know this is a topic you have to tread carefully with. 🙈 In North America, I would say it always depends. In more religious families, it can still be very taboo to talk sex with your parents. However, I do find that North Americans in general are a lot more open to discussions regarding sex than in Germany (even comparing the highly religious in Canada vs. highly religious in Germany)
Other TH-camrs: Wow, in Germany people just talk about politics on a regular basis, while in America it's kind of a taboo topic. Life in Germany: In Germany, politics is a taboo subject. huh?
Interesting. Mental health is so taboo that I didn't even think about that. I wouldn't dare to talk to my doctor (Hausarzt) about this as he'd think I'm crazy, yes. The usual response from professionals I got in the past regarding issues out of the ordinary was "Sie übertreiben".. "You're thinking too much, it can't be a problem because you're only XYZ years old"
It’s terrible that you’re right! A friend of mine was told the same thing by a doctor, and even I could see that she needed the proper support to start feeling better again. 😣♥️ She never did get the proper support. Hopefully doctors start opening up more about this topic sooner than later!
A big problem in German society is still that you can't show weakness, and certainly not when it comes to mental health, illnesses like depression are widespread, but people are afraid that this will be interpreted as weakness and they won't take it seriously be taken. There are still people who say when they are depressed, just do something funny and then it will be fine. I have no idea where you live, but that people in Germany wouldn't talk about sex would be new to me, but I'd be happy to be taught better. Of course, it depends a bit on who I talk to about it, certainly not with every stranger. Otherwise, I don't know it so prudishly, you should have come to our family celebrations earlier, that's when things really got going. I didn't expect that people in North Rhine-Westphalia would be so reluctant to talk about sex.
@@claudiakarl7888 I think my husbands family is very reserved in General, though if I were to compare families I know in Germany vs. Canada, many more in germany are much more reserved than in Canada. Which also explains why sex is such a not-talked-about topic for many I know here.
Hopefully the stigmas around mental health being a weakness change sooner than later! RE: sex - that’s awesome that your family was also super open about it! 🙃 I think it’s much more Canadian to bring up a topic like this even with acquaintances than it is in germany! I’ve had these conversations with coworkers, whereas in Germany, I’d never bring it up unless it was with close friends!
@@lifeingermany_ Ja, das ach so abgeklärte Bübchen könnte ja auch einen eigenen Kanal mit den Themen machen, die interessanter für ihn sind. Aber ein Einzeiler ist schließlich nicht ganz so viel Arbeit. Try to resist the urge to justify yourself to someone whose obvious interest it is to just belittle you.
Wenn Sie das Video uninteressant finden, schauen Sie doch einfach andere. Es scheint eine deutsche (?) "Krankheit" zu sein, extra Dinge zu gucken, die man irgendwie doof findet, um sich dann genau darüber zu mokieren. Allerdings stammt auch dieser Spruch von einem Deutschen, Johann Gottfried Seume: _Wer Andere neben sich klein macht, ist nie groß._
Hello Jenna You may know the phrase: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Well, the same goes for a lot of things that we consider very personal - health, how we practice sex, also how often and with whom. We need to know that to those we tell such things to, are not bringing those things out into the world - otherwise we might as well publish them directly in the local newspaper. The same applies to our income. Why would I tell people who work hard for their income that as a retiree I'll get more than double that for doing nothing. That might hurt them and I don't want that. My best friends know what I'm getting and I know what they're getting. We Germans don't define ourselves as much by the amount of income as the Americans do, and we don't have to show everywhere how successful we are or have been in life. My house is bigger than yours, my car is stronger than yours and I have 1,000,000 followers on Instagram is only important for a few people here. It is much more important to have people who help you when you are feeling bad, who then carry you and get through bad times with you and celebrate with you in good times. If you look at reports from around the world, it's not the rich, healthy, and beautiful who are the happiest, it's those who accept their lives and make the best of them. I wish you a nice day. Ralph
Mental health has such a bad stigma in so many countries it’s so sad. I once heard somebody say they don’t go to therapy because they are afraid it would open up too many unresolved issues that they don’t want to dig deeper.
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You no I met my girlfriend on TH-cam comments talking about water. We instantly swapped Instagrams and we spoke straight away about are mental health problems we both have. From the very first phone call. She’s so open and honest it’s amazing to see. We have are ups and downs but we move forward together and I love her so so much and respect her and her family a lot. And I would do anything I possibly can within my power to help her. At times I truly think she is to good for a guy like me. But she loves me a lot as I her. I honestly can’t believe I found a beautiful soul like her. I’m 41 she’s 37. She truly is one in a million and far to good for a guy like me. And I thank my god mannin for bringing us both together. And again thank you for your great content your putting out on TH-cam. Much respect to you and your family. Keep up the great work 🙏
One thing you didn't mention is Du and Sie. I'm English and in 1969 I moved to Cologne just down the road from Düsseldorf. I returned to England in 1982, probably speaking better German than English after so many years of total immersion. My late sister also had a great interest in Germany and went there to work in a children's home. She married a German medical student who is now retired and living near Hamburg. Thus I still have firm ties to Germany and usually visit three times a year. But the pandemic stopped all that. I haven't been since December 2019. However, what I do notice there nowadays is the use of Du and Sie. When I started living in Köln, one used Sie, the polite form of you, when addressing practically anyone. Even among my work colleagues of roughly the same age we used Sie. For my managers I remained a Sie right to the day I left. So it is surprising now, in Germany, to hear complete strangers saying Du. Older people (which I am now!) probably say Sie most of the time, but younger people, certainly in Hamburg, use Du as a matter of course. It's sad in a way. "Sie" gave one the comfort of Abstand, just a touch of formality, especially when speaking with officials at the Einwohnermeldeamt and similar authorities. But it's weird to ask a member of staff in a department store where one can find a particular item and he or she may well reply, Das kannst Du im Erdgeschoß bekommen, tschüss! If you needed to share a table in a restaurant with strangers, you'd always say auf Wiedersehen on leaving, never tschüss.
Mental health has such a bad stigma in so many countries it’s so sad. I once heard somebody say they don’t go to therapy because they are afraid it would open up too many unresolved issues that they don’t want to dig deeper.
Lots of people think like that. They don't act until their suffering becomes intolerable, and not even then sometimes. Also, therapists are rather scarce and there a long waiting lists/times.
😔💛 that breaks my heart just reading this. And I hear it all the time from many of my friends here. Being more open and upfront about what we are going through - both good and bad - helps us find the right support much sooner! 🥰
The stigma with mental health is so real, and in most European countries! (at least in my case). I applied as an exchange student to many European countries and they rejected me because I was taking pills for anxiety (which was due to school stress which wouldn’t apply when I was there because the credits don’t transfer). Luckily Germany accepted me under certain conditions but it was crazy how that was handled compared to in North America
I think we just know, that at work there are always some people who would talk bad about you behind your back. That's why we don't talk too much about personal things like sex or mental health with colleagues. It also depends on the education level or on the environment. I mean on a construction side they probably talk less about depression and phobias as in a hospital or as teachers at school, social workers etc. Same applies to jobs in which power plays a role.. They don't want to show any flaws or weaknesses... Düsseldorf is also known as a city whre many wealthy people live. Maybe there it's more important to appear strong and in good health?
You’re definitely right! And also, that’s definitely very much possible in Düsseldorf, due to the level of high earners here… which would be super unfortunate 😫.
@@lifeingermany_ I'm sure there are many open-minded people also in Düsseldorf. And generally it's getting better. Please, don't get discouraged! Do you already know the german word "Schweigespirale" (spiral of silence)?
@@inrivaalfosso3663 I’ve never heard this term before, no!!!
@@lifeingermany_ It's important to keep speaking one's mind, especially if the wrong people are too loud or seem to be too many. ;)
Oh dear - this is going to be a rather longer commentary - just a warning..😉
1. Mental health
well, it`s a touchy subject. I'm suffering from depression for about 15 years now and have had quite some experiences when mentioning it to other people. Some will seriously engage in a conversation with you (which is generally a good thing) and others just say "oh, come on, pull yourself together. I also have days where I don't feel good". With the latter kind you can't talk about mental health issues at all. Also, there comes a stigma with this. Some people tend to regard you as a nutcase or think it's a sign of personal weakness. I will say though that some of these talking points have changed since some celebs have publicly mentionend that they're suffering from depression as well. So I think it's a process in the making...
2. Sex
being a generation older than you are my expierences are that talking about sex with my parents was strictly off limits. Not because they said so but as a teen I got the strong vibe from my parents that this would be simply inappropriate. My parents were'nt that much affectionate to each other so I didn't feel like talking about sex, love or a broken heart with them.
In a relationship however it is vital to be able to talk about this with one another. How else do you get to know what your partner wants and vice versa?
Being open to your friends talking about sex isn't that much difficult if it just sratches the surface and doesn't go into detail. In that regard I guess I'm a child of the age I grew up in.
3. Salary
that point I don't get either. I don't know why it is a taboo topic - it just is ...
4. Personal life at work
hm, I think you're right. It takes us Germans a lot of time to consider someone a friend. And opening up to new collegues to soon may result in office gossip which might even ruin your career opportunities in you new job. I've always been very careful sharing personal information because sadly I've witnessed (personally and and with other people) what can happen if you're choosing the wrong person to tell about your personal life.
5. Politics, Covid, refugees
I agree that conversations about those topics can go downhill very fast. It depends on the people you're having that kind of conversation with. A lot of people are not that interested in an exchange of thoughts. They have their opinions and won't really listen to yours if it differs from their own. And some won't even let get facts in the way of having that opiniion. I don't know about Canada but if you want to see it being carried too far just observe what's happening in the US right now...
I'm done. My fingers are numb. Thanks for this video and yes I would like to see one in which you talk about politics and refugees and stuff - be it in German or English. But be careful though - you could open a can of worms there and expose yourself to massive critisism from the troll army...💛
Btw: nice idea - the "Zutritt verboten" sign..👍
Thank you for writing this. This is exaclty what I had in my mind.
RE: mental health… yes! Definitely still a process in the making. Hopefully more bigger names in the media will come out so we can completely abolish this idea of everyone being a “nutcase” 😣💛
And yes, it’s the same in Canada regarding politics… it’s a slippery slope!
I’d also like to talk about my experience hosting a family from the Ukraine on TH-cam, but am so hesitant. I already wrote out an entire script, but fully understand one wrong word and it could cause an uproar. 😔
@@flamedealership hahah good point and good tips! I’ll give it some thought and see if I have the time for filming something like this 😝
Yes please, tell us about your experiences housing refugees. I was helping in the 2015 refugee crisis, and I still take care of some of the foreigners I met then. So this time around, I had a lot of experience - and was more hesitant to get involved. So I am really curious about your thoughts on this topic.
Yes, I would love to hear about it, too.
Hey, interesting video! Mental health: With close friends and close family members, I discuss our mental healths frequently and extensively. With everybody else: rather not. I've had a few negative experiences in the past, when my openness on these subjects was not appreciated (misunderstood, ridiculed).
Well, I do not talk about religion or politics to other people who are not good friends because I have my opinion and do not want to discuss this with others. I do think that everybody has the right to think what they want but I do not necessarily need to hear it because it might make me mad. People have their opinions and stick to them so why bother trying to convince them otherwise. A few years ago I had a lot to cope with and got depressive. I was ashamed and therefore pretended to be alright, even towards my friends. When I finally opened up I realized that a lot of my friends had problems as well. I learned how important it is to talk about it to get better.
I’m so so happy to hear that you found comfort in confiding with close friends though! 🥰 It’s not an easy step, but you’re right! So many of us go through the same struggles as well. The more I opened up, the better I felt too. 🙃
Talking with friends is much easier then with the family (parents, etc.)
Talking with "the person on your side" is necessary ;)
Friends ... usually u have just a few of them ... you know .. these people who came at 3 am to you when you feal bad / come to hospital / etc.
The rest are buddies (Kumpel), maybe 1 or 2 would help when you're moving to a new apartmen ... nothing more.
99 % of work collegues are just buddies or less.
Work / Live Balance means to split it!
Everything comes down to the experiences that you've made so far. I expect people disagreeing with you on several points.
I won't say that it is (only) a regional matter, but keep it (more) at the individual level.
Totally understand that 🙃 I always try and remember to make that disclaimer verbally. However, naturally, all of my content is based around my own personal experiences here in Germany as an immigrant.
Actual we do talk about these topics. But with very specific groups of friends.
Mental health is only a topic to really close friends that you could call your brother or sister.
Money, germans are just not so big show offs than Americans or Canadians. Why should my friends be interested in my income? It just be a reason to divide the group of friends.
And germans have a really evil eye for show offs.
One thing, maybe it's not so exactly explained and matched, is that germans are more basic/functional in there everyday interaction. Its more the what would a other aspect from me and what do aspect from them.
Don't disturb others with your own being more than in this particular situation is necessary.
@@lifeingermany_ I'm an immigrant too but I've noticed a world of difference between my experiences in Germany, having moved here from England, and that of Immigrants from North America who post on TH-cam. Many topics raised by NA's are really things that are common throughout Western Europe and not just a German thing.
@@lyndaf.6329 that’s very true!! And although I’ve travelled around Europe a lot, you don’t notice the little things until you actually live somewhere for a few years. However, for me to say “taboo topics in Europe” would be even worse considering I only really know the comparisons I have between North America and Germany.
I think the mental health thing is slowly changing though! I am in my mid twenties and while it’s still an uncomfortable topic for some most of my friends and family do have open and honest conversations about it with regards to those being treated for anxiety, depression and so on but also regarding prevention, which is often disregarded until it’s too late.
I don't know where to start here, let's just say I think your North American roots are showing here. I'm English but have lived in Germany nearly 40 years and I'm obviously an older generation to you, but I do have a 25 year old daughter who is German and was brought up here to compare with.Basically , in my opinion, you can substitute Germany for the majority of Europe in the "Taboos" you mention.
Having a therapist, and thinking that a Therapist is essential in your life, if soooo American and alien to European thinking. However a close relative of mine, plus two friends have recently had mental health problems. All received the help and therapy they need and all talked about it openly and received nothing but support. My experience is that Germans are open to speaking about mental health and maybe in 2022 have a more down to earth approach about it than Americans who all seem to need a Therapist.
The same goes for sex. My daughter is very open about sexual matters but I would never have spoken to my parents about such things, but I do with my female friends. Again Europeans do not on the whole talk about their sex lives except with close friends.
How much you earn is for me a big Taboo, it's no one else's business and I've no desire to know how much my friends earn. I take them as they come not for what they earn.I was brought up this way and most people I know think the same...again European thinking??
And last but not least, small talk in the workplace. Well I've worked over the years with lots of different Germans, still do, and we have always talked about our personal life and families, so I don't know where that came from.
Your last point about politics/refugees/covid is a pointless argument to make because from what I've experienced in my life is that these topics raise tempers regardless of the country or culture. You try bringing up these topics in England , throw in Brexit and H&M and you have blast off!!!!!
I'm not criticising you just giving a different perspective from someone who was brought up in Europe and has relatives in Canada...who all have a therapist and I often ask WHY? Answer they give is sadly "because I just do, it's normal."
Totally understand, and not taking it as criticism at all. 🙃 My thoughts are often coming from my Canadian roots! A lot of what I say can apply to the whole of Europe, but without this knowledge, I can only compare the living situations I’ve been through. ✊
There are no taboos. I'm not crazy, my parents had no sex, i have no friends cause i'm the boss therefore make the most money of all and at last, talk about politics as long as you share my oppinions in the end!!
========== in real ==========
With a few close friends, i talk about everything to the detail, if we make it a topic. With all others, it depends on the place, time and level of knowing (forgot alc). For smalltalk i mostly stay on the surface. Talking to people who shout their slogans and are not interested in a discussion will not happen at all. A good talk doesn't have to end with the one and only right oppinion in general. No, everyone should be free to have an own oppinion. If mine, wrong or right doesn't matter. Just stay peace- and respectful.
Have a nice und nich zu heiß weekend
Ciao
P.s. silly german health tip: drink enough
Haha 💛 I think it’s similar for many others too! Conversations, unless with close friends or family, usually don’t get too deep. Some Canadians have a tendency to say more than they should too early on 😂.
Takling about how much you make, this point is currently actually changing. Which is good.
Depends on the person, but as an American I know my husbands salary, one friend, & one cousin's salary haha It's still seen as pretty rude to ask.
I think it’d be rude to ask anywhere 😝 .. maybe not anywhere, but many countries! Even in Canada. I’m just always surprised how many people openly discuss their wages without being asked!
@@lifeingermany_ Sometimes you could get the answer: "Über Geld redet man nicht, Geld hat man."☺️
Resently we started talking about mental health issues such as depression, e.g. by Torsten Sträter and Kurt Krömer. And of course it is very important foe getting rid of such things being a stigma.
The same holds for sexual themes. We are beginning to talk more openly about it which is good for several reasons: To take the topic out of the _Schmuddelecke_ and to encourage people to talk about it when sexually harassed or assaulted. I once read a _Leserbrief_ whos author claimed we needed a _saubere Moral_ again because of all the assaults newly heared about.
Of course, the opposite is true: Prudery is the rapist's best friend. Assaults might be more seldom heared about but happen much more often in a 1950s style society.
Money: Talking about your salary has a bit the odium of the _Mein Haus, mein Auto, meine Frau_ ads where someone _prahlt_ with his pretty high income. Talking about the money you had to spend on goods is much less a taboo.
However, an uncle of mine once said: _"Ich verdiene sehr viel Geld, ich krieg's nur nicht." This is a pun which only works in German where _verdienen_ (to earn) also means to deserve.
Yes the mental health stigma here, it’s really damaging countless people and it’s so sad and lame , really.
Well, I think this is a taboo subject universally. I don't talk about sex or politics with colleagues or acceptances. I don't talk about money or sex even with most of my family members. Especially, money because human beings are envious and jealous.
Except for the last (friendship at work), I could relate to all, in the sense that I also don’t like to talk about all that. And I’m not German. I have the feeling that this has more to do with being man than being German 😅. I don’t see my male friends talking about mental health or their salaries neither, here or in the other 3 countries I have lived in Europe and South America.
Moin Jennamama, hatte auch schon depressionen. War eine krass harte Zeit. Aber ich habe kein Problem damit, darüber zu reden. Interessante Punkte, die du da ansprichst! Urlaubsgrüße vom Ijsselmeer Holland! Stave save, your und deine 3,5 !.. Kopf-Family!
man sollte nie ein Problem haben, darüber zu sprechen! 🥰
Hab einen wunderbaren Zeit in Holland! Mein Sohn hatte heute seinen letzten Kita-Tag - also jetzt fangt unsere Sommerferien an! 🤩
Fully agree on everything you said about mental health topics
Germans whose grandparent and parents made the experiences at the second world war with rapes by foregn soldiers and death and expulsion without mental health assistance after that didn´t learn to talk about sex, because the grandparents and parents couldn´t talk about that due to this experiences. Not talking about ones salary is justified in the prohibition in companies to let others know about the salary. We cannot say, if this information get to the company by unknown ways. Talking about private things is also a thing that in that situation you are not working and get money for that ? And talking about that after work is the same as you already has spoke about. And that is that is hard to make friends in Germany, more than in other countries. Ths is valid also for Germans.
You are allowed to lie about mental illness during a job interview in Germany. And a prospective employer is not normally allowed to ask, except if a mental illness would directly hinder you from doing the job in question or pose a grave safety risk (e.g. airline pilot or police officer).
I would love to hear your experience hosting a family! Like how did you sign up for that?
To 1. To loyal friends I would talk about pot. Mental issues, but to casual people. People stab you a knife in your back, if they want to.
2. Sex should be private. I don't want to hear about sex of my friends and I don't tell. The topic from parents to kids is something else. The talk about protection and stuff.
3. I don't mind to talk about my income, except coworkers. The problem, we Germans tend to be really jealous and this can bring you lot of trouble.
4. I talk to people, who I trust almost personal. But in normal case I seperate work and privat and I don't see any problem with that.
5. The society here, as in north America, is strongly decided. And there is this thing, when you have the "wrong" opinion you can get life ruined for it in the worst case.
Mental Health - you're talking to the wrong people. I struggled with depression in the past and I've been very communicative about it. The same goes with my son's disability of Autism Spectrum Disorder (in his case Asperger's). Most people just don't know about mental health issues and I'm the one to lecture as many people as I can get hold of bc I agree that this should not be a taboo topic.
Sex is a private topic. I don't talk about it to just everybody I meet in the street but I sure talk about it with my family and friends (in various degrees). With my female friends, I sometimes go into the nitty gritty. With my sons, I would never discuss my personal sex life, yet if they have problems with their partners, I will not shy away from a discussion, esp. as they don't have a father to talk about it anymore.
Salary - we don't talk about how much money we make bc we don't want to boast. And it's only the higher office/management jobs and the self-employed people that are unclear. Take a professor at a university - as long as you know their "Besoldungsgruppe" you can find out exactly how much they make. The same goes for every job where a "Tarifvertrag" is applicable. There is no need to talk about it, everybody who wants to know, knows it anyway.
Co-workers are acquaintances. To become friends takes time.
The "rona". I'm so fed up with the topic, I don't want to talk about it.
You make a valid point about salaries in Germany, it is easy to find out roughly what someone earns fron their profession, but on the whole people are just not interested in how much their friends and relatives earn.
Yeeees 💛✊ you’re right! This should be a taboo topic at all! My mom and sister in law are teachers for children on the autism spectrum and do such a fantastic job and normalizing all disorders in everyday society. It inspires me everyday to be the light and a positive advocate for others too!
RE: knowing peoples salaries, you’re right! I always find this so interesting. In Canada, there’s really no table or chart that will tell you how much someone makes, including professors at universities
Bonjour madame your journey always inspires me.
Hi Jenna, I think North America is obsessed with sex and that's why it's talked about a lot more in Canada, for example. Also in my opinion, these are the excesses of a puritanically influenced culture. Is there anyone naked? Oh my goodness, how can that be? What a crime. The greatest sexual debauchery found fertile soil in England, of all places, during the Victorian era. I mean it's not a coincidence.
When it comes to mental health, I'm conflicted. If I'm not mentally healthy, it can be interpreted as a weakness in professional life, that's why nobody talks about it. Mentally unhealthy has a different connotation than when I broke my leg. My sister is a psychologist and therefore I know that there are not enough specialists in her profession.
You may have experienced first-hand that Germans tend to be reserved towards strangers at first. Of course, you can also see that at work. When I've worked with people for several years, I usually know a lot about their private lives and vice versa as well.
In North America, it is considered good manners to bracket controversial topics from the outset. Germany also has topics that have great potential for disputes, so you avoid them right away.
Life in Germany: Alarm Clock ,going to Work, paying bills,TV, Alarm clock, going to work.....
Sounds like my life back in Canada 🙈
Most US travel guides will warn to NOT ask Americans about money, claiming it is a taboo in the US.
Every point is correct! :D
Good points!
In some cases, you are required by your employer not to disclose your salary (at least to colleagues).
companies says it .. but it's illegal to forbid it (to talk about)
haha, such a cool Video, thank you! I agree, these topics are kind of taboo and I also feel uncomfortable to talk about it 😂
I'd be interested in a video in German, simply as German listening practice :D
Mental health? Maybe you might be right. Sex?You're completely wrong! - On the contrary; this is the German's favorite topic, after the weather!I am only 19, but we talk about personal preferences under 4 eyes and even in the circle of friends.Money? To be honest, I was never interested in what others earned and I was never asked about it. But if an acquaintance asked me, he would also get an answer.Personal life? I already believe that employees among colleagues also talk a lot about it; at least with whom you work longer.Politics? Although it is a difficult topic, it is also a very popular one.
I would not appreciate my wife spilling our sex life in front of all our friends, acquaintances, colleagues and family members. I can't believe Canadians do that.
In my opinion not every Mental Health problem needs a therapist. I know, in the US capitols its modern for wealthy people to have a personal therapist, that they can call and text every time they have a problem. But you are getting weaker by allways calling for help instead of trying to solve your problems by yourself. In the US therapy has become a business, and as you said, everyone of your friends got pills and drugs. Happy pharmacy, that is insane. Mankind has a lot of mental strength to survive hard times. There were thousands of wars and millions of people survived with traumas, but were able to overcome their traumas and live their lives without a single therapist. Otherwise half of Europe would have had Mental Health díseases after WW2. Perhaps they had, but they had no time for thinking about it, because they had to struggle to survive. Perhaps it is a problem of modern societies? - Instead of that, people with serious long time mental health diseases should be treated specifically with maximum support. THEY need help and must not get a stigma.
Is it possible that (not) talking about sex is a generational thing? My mom is "über Sex spricht man nicht" not even with her partner. I'm pretty open, depending on who I'm talking too. (I wouldn't share this with co-workers.) Time will tell if my daughter will trust me with this topic, but she's completely open with all issues connected to puberty, sexual identity and anything teenagers have to deal with. I don't believe I'm the only 'cool' mom to her generation. :D
You forgot how alot of Germans love it when you talk about your personal life begore realising its not done, because its a bloodsport fun to use it against you later as a weapon. Now even if they ask, i say nothing.
Also with the sex stuff, my American girlfriends and i discuss details of our sex life. Like de.tails. It took me foreeeeeeever to get anywhere near that with my German girlfriends. And its still not the same. I wonder if its a cultural thing? 🤔🤔🤔
Ok first of all, Are you prepping for Octoberfest with that top? I am loving the off the shoulder look! I completely agree, in my experience the mental health / emotional well-being topic is compleeeeetely off the table in families. Also, I am in a bunch of twin mom groups in Germany and the amount of them that get to go on ‘Mutter-Kind-Kur’ is just amazing and I wish it were something the US would offer! ( one can dream, right? 🤣)
Hahahah I’m also a huge fan of these Eltern-Kind programs here! And not to mention the affordability of them. 🤩🥰
Hhaha and RE: the Oktoberfest style 😂 I’m prepping early! Hahah… aka. Throwing on whatever fits me at the moment (I refuse to buy overpriced pregnancy clothes unless I have to! The idea of not being able to wear them 3 months from now drives me insane 😂😂)
@@lifeingermany_ 😂🫶🏻
Moin. Meine Frau hat auch 3 Years Erziehungszeit in Anspruch genommen. LG Ben - Hast seit heut ein weiteres Abo..
Oh dear - a Canadian and a soon to be 'Amercian in Germany again' teaming up - life will never be the same...🙊🤣🤣🤣
I think a lot of those points can be summed up as Germans being private. I think a lot of them do talk about those topics, but only with people close to them. I wish they were more open about sex though. Especially with their partner.
How much you make actually is a taboo, I agree on that. I think that has to do with how much your social status is tied to your income. You don't want to put yourself above the person you are talking to by disclosing that you make more than them. It also might be seen as bragging.
And politics are not reall taboo, you just have to be prepared for a discussion and some topics just aren't very pretty. Like I would't bring up Trump or abortion rights right now in the US.
I would actually would be very curious to know if north American parents really are more open about sex with their children, especially when you factor in areas like the bible belt.
Definitely! I think politics is a slippery slope in many countries, though there’s enough internationals moving to germany that still don’t know this is a topic you have to tread carefully with. 🙈
In North America, I would say it always depends. In more religious families, it can still be very taboo to talk sex with your parents. However, I do find that North Americans in general are a lot more open to discussions regarding sex than in Germany (even comparing the highly religious in Canada vs. highly religious in Germany)
@K Barnes could be more of a Canadian trait 🤷🏽♀️ but I also know many Americans as open as many Canadians 🙃
@K Barnes of course it has everything to do with these factors!
Other TH-camrs: Wow, in Germany people just talk about politics on a regular basis, while in America it's kind of a taboo topic.
Life in Germany: In Germany, politics is a taboo subject.
huh?
I'm your fb follower too..!!
th-cam.com/video/06YvNPAD2lg/w-d-xo.html
Das ist auch ein schönes Video über Deutschland .
Wenn man selber hier lebt ,sieht man vieles garnicht
Wird Betterhelp von der Krankenkasse übernommen?
Nein, leider nicht 😞
Aber man kann jedoch einen Rabatt erhalten, wenn Ihr Gehalt niedrig genug ist. Das machen viele Kanadier. 💛
Talk about the ukrainians! That would be really interesting!
Nice dear
Religio, even among religious people.
Interesting. Mental health is so taboo that I didn't even think about that. I wouldn't dare to talk to my doctor (Hausarzt) about this as he'd think I'm crazy, yes. The usual response from professionals I got in the past regarding issues out of the ordinary was "Sie übertreiben".. "You're thinking too much, it can't be a problem because you're only XYZ years old"
It’s terrible that you’re right! A friend of mine was told the same thing by a doctor, and even I could see that she needed the proper support to start feeling better again. 😣♥️ She never did get the proper support. Hopefully doctors start opening up more about this topic sooner than later!
Jo! :)
I’d love to here your story about bringing in the Ukrainians in to your home.
I like Dirty Talk 🤣🤣
😂🙈
So, then here it goes: muddy sidewalks, filthy windows, messy rooms...🙊🤣🤣🤣
Es gibt einen schönen Witz:
Sie: "Sag' mir doch mal etwas gaanz Schmutziges ins Ohr."
Er: "Küche."
A big problem in German society is still that you can't show weakness, and certainly not when it comes to mental health, illnesses like depression are widespread,
but people are afraid that this will be interpreted as weakness and they won't take it seriously be taken. There are still people who say when they are depressed, just do something funny and then it will be fine.
I have no idea where you live, but that people in Germany wouldn't talk about sex would be new to me,
but I'd be happy to be taught better. Of course, it depends a bit on who I talk to about it, certainly not with every stranger.
Otherwise, I don't know it so prudishly, you should have come to our family celebrations earlier,
that's when things really got going.
I didn't expect that people in North Rhine-Westphalia would be so reluctant to talk about sex.
We aren’t. But I don’t know where her husband and his family is from.
@@claudiakarl7888 I think my husbands family is very reserved in General, though if I were to compare families I know in Germany vs. Canada, many more in germany are much more reserved than in Canada. Which also explains why sex is such a not-talked-about topic for many I know here.
Hopefully the stigmas around mental health being a weakness change sooner than later!
RE: sex - that’s awesome that your family was also super open about it! 🙃 I think it’s much more Canadian to bring up a topic like this even with acquaintances than it is in germany! I’ve had these conversations with coworkers, whereas in Germany, I’d never bring it up unless it was with close friends!
Everything wrong.
Expand 😝
@@lifeingermany_ Hm, no answer as of yet - perhaps he/she tried desperately and just burst from the expansion?🤣🤣🙊
Ach, Mädchen, es gibt so viele Themen, die interessanter sind, muss es immer wieder dasselbe sein?
🤷🏽♀️ Ich spreche hier über Dinge, die mich interessieren 🙃
@@lifeingermany_ Ja, das ach so abgeklärte Bübchen könnte ja auch einen eigenen Kanal mit den Themen machen, die interessanter für ihn sind. Aber ein Einzeiler ist schließlich nicht ganz so viel Arbeit.
Try to resist the urge to justify yourself to someone whose obvious interest it is to just belittle you.
Wenn Sie das Video uninteressant finden, schauen Sie doch einfach andere.
Es scheint eine deutsche (?) "Krankheit" zu sein, extra Dinge zu gucken, die man irgendwie doof findet, um sich dann genau darüber zu mokieren.
Allerdings stammt auch dieser Spruch von einem Deutschen, Johann Gottfried Seume:
_Wer Andere neben sich klein macht, ist nie groß._
Hello Jenna
You may know the phrase: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Well, the same goes for a lot of things that we consider very personal - health, how we practice sex, also how often and with whom. We need to know that to those we tell such things to, are not bringing those things out into the world - otherwise we might as well publish them directly in the local newspaper. The same applies to our income. Why would I tell people who work hard for their income that as a retiree I'll get more than double that for doing nothing. That might hurt them and I don't want that. My best friends know what I'm getting and I know what they're getting. We Germans don't define ourselves as much by the amount of income as the Americans do, and we don't have to show everywhere how successful we are or have been in life. My house is bigger than yours, my car is stronger than yours and I have 1,000,000 followers on Instagram is only important for a few people here. It is much more important to have people who help you when you are feeling bad, who then carry you and get through bad times with you and celebrate with you in good times. If you look at reports from around the world, it's not the rich, healthy, and beautiful who are the happiest, it's those who accept their lives and make the best of them.
I wish you a nice day.
Ralph
Mental health has such a bad stigma in so many countries it’s so sad. I once heard somebody say they don’t go to therapy because they are afraid it would open up too many unresolved issues that they don’t want to dig deeper.