Nobody! He would have had a perfectly good random flex about Father’s Day (which I’m pretty sure is the only time he mentions his kids) if he had left off the p.s my girl got good hair from me psa.
This is why it's up to black women to correct the disease , black women keep giving birth to these colorist texture obsessed black men , black women it's time to end this relentless cycle , if it's poison in the water you don't keep drinking it , if black men keep up with this toxic behavior you don't keep giving birth to them , it's time to start all over , go back to the drawing board , we need to breed this behavior and mindset out , the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome , black women yall are the only ones who can stop this ,it's time for yall to do something different
Black men's longing for whiteness and being white adjacent is the most important thing to them. This is why time and time again we see them telling on themselves.
This! Time & time again! That's why I'm glad she made this video because nobody talks about the effect our fathers, uncles, brothers, etc have on our self-esteem. It seems like they have internalized the "isms" and projected them onto Black women and they also want their children to represent them in an "acceptable way" or with an "acceptable standard of beauty" to escape the pain they have felt. The funny thing is, I think that all those pejoratives used in old ads and majority culture were just lies to "keep us in our place" socially, so we always feel beneath or at the bottom because in my experience, other cultures are fascinated by our uniqueness, including our 4C hair. Some even seem to fetishize it... Hopefully, one day we humans will all learn to love all of ourselves.
Whats particularly hilarious is that if his daughter got 4c hair i GUARANTEE he would never make mention of her hair. No one was gonna say anything about her hair, he just wanted to draw attention to it. Also please note the "I did a good job" aspect of his tweet. Is the good job mating with a white/mixed woman to dilute the blackness in his children so their hair would be loose? Just curious...
@@lavender6500just my observation, I've noticed attractive women typically have a good looking father. I've also noticed that if a man has a strong jawline or cheekbone structure, their daughter will too.
You know what’s funnier? They only act this way to their female children. Not the boys. These same men view lightskin men as feminine and emasculate them. They want their sons to be as dark and coiled haired as them but they want their daughters the same as their preferences.
We all know good and hell well that when black men say they want black women to wear their natural hair, they ARE NOT talking about black women with nappy/kinky/4C hair. They're talking about black women with looser, "good" hair. Like gtfo bro!🙄
My hair is not coarse but i do have 4c or 4b (im told my hair is not 4c so i do not know) and i love my hair and 4c hair too! Very beautiful short or long. I am completely mesmerized by it.
Dear Black Women, you will never be able to please black men so don't try to. Travel, educate and pamper yourself. Speak positively about yourself and be happy.
Yesss....SO true. A BM was in another video's comments complaining about BW with weaves & wigs, but he's ok with whyte women wearing them because he thinks it looks better on them. The bar will forever be raised to the heavens for us but lowered to the basement for others. Time to move on, ladies.
7:47 Colorist black men want dark skinned sons and light skinned daughters. That is a common theme in many sitcoms featuring black families. The light skinned daughter will be considered the pretty girl and if there's a dark skinned daughter, she's usually portrayed as an odd ball.
Black ish I think, is a modern day show that is doing exactly this that touts itself as a black sitcom. The one episode I cared to remember had the, light skinned, looser textured hair daughter, in school was being bullied by a black, dark skinn, and braided hair girl for not being “black enough” (🙄🙄) and the class took a dna test which apparently showed that the daughter had more black dna that the dark skinned, braided hair girl. So everyone was laughing at her instead. I couldn’t stop rolling my eyes the entire episode. Another thing I can think of where this happens, but it’s a movie, black man, with white woman as the wife, the son has afro textured hair, darker skinned, the daughter ( her name escapes me, but she is a black girl that was very prominent in movies as a child) medium toned skintone, but they had some sort of straight hair braided wig on her. Like… are black women not allowed to just be natural like all these people say they love? Why is it this standard for what a black woman is allowed to be and look like is only with traits that the majority of black women or black people do not have?
BM are really too interested and preoccupied with weave, hair, nails, makeup and whatever else would be considered "feminine" things. It's really weird.
@@princessprincess7708 maam the diaspora men are no better lmaooo look how they have their women living in the 21st century !!!! I think tf not bm are global dust
I remember when I was pregnant and my husband is mixed. My parents and my in laws were literally hoping my child would have his hair texture. I was so disappointed in them but she ended up type 4 hair like mine and my mother in law seemed disappointed. I was happy cause I wanted my child to look black. Why is it so important that my child only look like him. I still get comments about straightening her and tell them absolutely not we not living in the culture over here.
I have mixed daughters. My husband is white. One of my daughters have a 3b hair pattern and the other one is 4a/4b. Genetics are so diverse. Not every mixed child is going to have type 3 hair.
That’s so disgusting. There’s definitely a spectrum in genetics because not every bi-racial looks the same. Some are light skin or white passing and some are brown skin. Some have straight hair and some have a mixture of textures. This is why I’m like I don’t understand why ppl are having babies with black ppl and are assuming that because they are mixed they’re gonna come out as their supposed dream of what that looks like. Wack asf do better ppl.
It’s also so weird to see men ogling over their daughter’s hair in this way. What a way to objectify your own child and perpetuate the idea that what’s on your head, rather what’s inside of your head, is more important.
It's no different than how women objectify themselves wearing scantily attire, dancing vulgarly or wearing fake lashes, fake nails, synthetic wigs, or human hair extensions that are not their own. There's nothing wrong with a father who is proud of his daughter's hair texture. The only people who have a problem with it, are those who are insecure about their own hair texture.
@@deamorebeaute2412hy would you be proud of a hair texture tho? What’s there to be proud of? This is such a weird take. Would y’all be saying there’s nothing wrong with them being proud of not having their skin tone be dark either? Or is that the only trait that’s not up for debate and y’all play dense when it comes to others? We gonna act like that insecurity that black people have with regards to type 4 hair which the MAJORITY of black have didn’t come out of no where? Since when did things exist in a vacuum.
@@deamorebeaute2412 Ideally, nobody would objectivity themselves. But you're talking about an adult woman making that decision. Parents directing that energy towards their children is weird AF, no matter how people try to justify it.
Exactly. Skin colors and features he himself, and clearly his momma and daddy, do not possess. I wonder if he goes home, looks at his parents and think, d@'n ya'll ugly😅. Because men like him surely look in the mirror and hate how they look. He does not praise folks with similar features to his. I can't wait until a federal law is passed to call out BM's racism towards blk ppl. And they get called on the carpet in courts for the psychotic foolishness of blk hatred they have.
No because it's SO WEIRD when black men try to have kids with traits that they fetishize. Like some of them consciously think about not just their kids having desirable features to society, but their kids having features that they are attracted to, and that's so weird to me. It feels like a cross section between internalized racism/colorism, and sexism, because not only do they value and glamorize "the mixed look" but they also are projecting a weird notion that every woman attached to them has to be attractive, therefore they have to make daughters that they find attractive. It's so weird. That purple scarf is giving btw
Black men cannot sympathize or care for black women. I think that's a great point that they need every girl and woman in their proximity to be attractive. I'll take it a step further and say they're only attracted to light-skinned and/or mixed-looking women and can only commit to being a doting father if that's true.
Then add on top of all that the proverbial gun-toting, overprotective “I would never let a man play my daughter” mindset of these men, who are sometimes simultaneously treating any and every grown woman they can like dogs
The comment about people being afraid to have Black children reminds me of a famous Brazilian painting called the “Redemption of Cain”, (1895) which shows a Black grandma celebrating that her grandchild is white passing. Even the title treats Blackness as if it is in need of redemption or correction. I know that painting is old, but the idea still persists that it is aspirational to have children closer to whiteness.
I think back then it was celebrated that way because looking that way made your life easier. No one wants their children to suffer. That’s why passing kids were told by their blaq families to leave and go live as a WP. Because it gave them more opportunities.
Let’s be real. Black people coveting European hair and features is much deeper than just being about survival, greater opportunity, and having an easier life. We as Black people were not only victims of colonization, enslavement, discrimination, hatred, brutality, terrorism, segregation, and exclusion. We were physically stereotyped, talked bad about, and made fun of. There were more pejoratives invented about Black people than any other group on earth, many of which had to do with our appearance: “dinge”, “smoke”, “shine”, “burr-head” . . . the list goes on. Centuries of such language and skewed depictions have caused us to internalize that type of racism. We were made fun of on stage and in film, in literature, cartoons, newspapers, magazines, book illustrations, and advertisements. Even the Bible talks about a woman being “black, but comely”. Why the “but”? We ourselves have come to believe our rich-toned, dark skin is ugly and makes us, women even more so, undesirable. We have accepted and normalized that our Afro-textured hair is “nappy”, unmanageable, unattractive, and in need of either alteration or being covered or hidden. It is a known fact that marginalized groups adopt the slurs used to oppress them by the greater power structure. There’s a reason we still call each other the n-word. And it’s *not* because we’ve reclaimed it, made it our own, or transformed it strictly into a term of endearment. Many of us grew up having our hair straightened, chemically or otherwise, since we could walk or by the time we started daycare. And how many times have we heard Black parents tell their kids to “Get your Black a** in the house.” Children call each other “Black African Bootie Scratchers”. We refer to each other’s lips as “soup coolers”. Black men refer to Black women with short hair as “chicken heads”. Eddie Murphy’s nickname was “peas” because his hair was tightly coiled. When I was growing up, Black boys called darker-skinned girls “mud ducks”, and lots of dark-skinned boys were nicknamed “Boo”, which is a take on the epithet, “spook”. Let’s not sugarcoat passing for white or deliberately diluting one’s sub-Saharan genes as being just about opportunity. It’s not.
I think it’s mostly out of fear. People having fear of seeing their kids get mistreated by society. Cause no one wants their kids to be bullied based on their skin or their hair. Some of that could be self hate, but when it comes to moms and their kids, I think its fear of society picking on them which is sad.
@@nellacurls1: But it’s also a way of acquiescing and giving in to racism. It’s a way of throwing in the towel and admitting defeat. It’s saying, “Instead of fighting, I’ll just stop looking like me. I will erase myself and disappear because you don’t like me.” It’s self-inflicted genocide.
Old Men like Shannon Sharpe have internalized a lot of antiblackness. Imagine growing up being Shannon. I know he got some sharpie jokes. One of his biggest fears was probably having a daughter be the reflection of him.
To me it’s so weird that these self hating black men are determined to have children that look exactly like the women they’d lust after 🤢 and for yg to drop that stupid comment at a funeral is beyond me. Also the necessity to spout colourist comments completely off topic whenever they can is very telling and useful so one can happily avoid these type of men. Imagine someone being with you not for your personality, but just because of your loose hair and light skin.
Let’s be real. Black people coveting European or European-like hair and features is much deeper than solely being about survival, opportunity, and having an easier life. We as Black people were not only victims of colonization, enslavement, discrimination, hatred, brutality, terrorism, segregation, and exclusion. We were physically stereotyped, talked bad about, and made fun of. There were and are more pejoratives invented about Black people than any group on earth, many of which had to do with our appearance: “dinge”, “smoke”, “shine”, “burr-head”, “tar-baby” . . . the list goes on. Centuries of such language and skewed depictions have caused us to internalize that type of racism. We were made fun of on stage and in film, in literature, cartoons, newspapers, magazines, book illustrations, and advertisements. Even in the Bible a woman refers to herself as “black, but comely”. Why the “but”? We ourselves have come to believe our rich-toned, dark skin is ugly and makes us, women even more so, undesirable. We have accepted and normalized that our Afro-textured hair is “nappy”, unmanageable, unattractive, and in need of either alteration or being covered or hidden. It is a known fact that marginalized groups adopt the slurs forced upon them by their oppressors and use them on themselves. There’s a reason we call each other the n-word. And it’s *not* because we’ve reclaimed it, made it our own, or transformed it strictly into a term of endearment. Many of us grew up having our hair straightened, chemically or otherwise, since we could walk or by the time we started daycare. So many of us heard our parents tell us to “Get your Black a** in the house.” Children call each other “Black African Bootie Scratchers”. We give each other nicknames based on hair texture and skin color. Eddie Murphy’s nickname was “peas” because his hair was tightly coiled. When I was growing up, lots of dark-skinned boys were nicknamed “Boo”, which is a take on the epithet, “spook”. Let’s not sugarcoat continually straightening our hair, wearing weaves, skin bleaching; passing or attempting to pass for white, Asian, or Latin-X; or deliberately diluting one’s sub-Saharan genes by choosing to only procreate with people of other races or someone lighter-skinned than ourselves with hair more loosely curled than our own as just being about opportunity. It’s not.
Black women especially the unambiguous generic or authentic looking bw (like ME so no shade as I think I’m beautiful but I’m still realistic to how some may view me) just need to accept the fact that once bm were able to be with non black women…they ran towards the light…pun intended. There are many black men that would love to be with a non black woman but they aren’t able to get in there for whatever reason. I’m not saying that no black man truly wants a black woman…ijs…next time you go out…pay attention to a black male around a lot of non black women…that negro loses his mind.
There is nothing European about Shannon, down to his nose. The only good thing is that he didn't create daughters he knew he would despise. Now, he should move on and get his hand out the pot. But, being a clown...
“We want woman with real hair” shit like this is ONE of the reasons I don't date black men. I cant deal with the constant hate, stereotyping and criticism. I refuse to date anyone that talks shit about black women.
I’m ngl, I can’t disagree. When I was younger I didn’t used to think about it too deep when they said these things because at that point I didn’t think I truly understand what they were saying. but as I got older I realized how fucked up it was. And they were basically denigrating their mothers, aunts, sisters, future children, AND me. I still hear some black male friends say this things and I always question them on it. They backpedal but seeing how these things are so ingrained into them even across the black diaspora… I cannot say I would fault you for completely cutting them off. Majority of the people I know are black. The few that aren’t I have never heard them refer to black women in denigrating ways, or been told by anyone they view them as such. It has always been black men that I’ve heard bad thing said by them to and about black women. You know what’s funny? You’d think the “you’re pretty for a black girl” would come from other races. In my experience, I have only ever heard it from black men. A non black man when in a relationship with you, doesn’t feel the need to compare and chastise your traits in comparison to other women because they acknlowdge and appreciate you as a black woman. Black men do it BECAUSE you are black and want to compare you. They view others as superior even tho they have the same traits that they view as lesser
I'm older than most on here ...child of the 70s, and was shamed by my own Nana for having 4C hair...but both my cousin and a close family friend's daughters had 3B hair. I knew they were thought to be prettier than me...this lasts in your psyche for soooo long. I'm finally free...but the scars...
I fully understand how you feel . My mom’s hair is loosely curly similar to 3b. I have 4c hair and she relaxed my hair when I was 3. As I went natural she always would tell me to stretch my hair. I preferred my shrunken Afro smh. This texturism in our community is so hurtful. I’m 40 and it still bothers me. I know my mom feels my hair is ugly/bad. It’s amazing I have the confidence I have now wearing my locs. No matter what anyone feels about my hair I love❤my hair. It’s a shame that hair can bring so much pain and division within our community and families.
I know how you feel. Child of the 90's but similar story. Have 5 sisters and 2 brothers and I was the darkest with the tightest curl pattern. Always treated like the black sheep the preferential treatment in the family left scars
@@lisetteb8727right. My mama relaxed my hair since a very young age. Recently I started to transition and I had styled my hair. She said what are you planning to do with your hair? That hurt. A couple days ago I said I had about 3 inches of new growth. She said why don't you relax it? I said because my hair has been breaking off from the relaxers and I'm done with them. I'd rather have healthy hair than socially acceptable hair atp. I am the only one who needs to accept my hair.
Let's talk about it! In the UK, during the pandemic, I found it interesting that all the men were online wearing baseball caps because they couldn't get a shape up for months. Didn't have a clue about what to do or how to embrace their natural hair. But it's these same men that want to talk about "good hair"??? Please, miss me with the BS
They hate their hair and complexion these dark skinned men. Plus they are very intimidated by light skinned men, hence the envy and hatred for light skinned men. They push their insecurity on dark skinned women... How are light skinned men with loose curly or wavy hair mocked and seen as effeminate, and are not very represented and are seen as inferior to dark skinned men especially with kinky hair. Whilst the dark skinned women with the kinky hair are seen as less attractive and undesirable, at the bottom. Whilst the light skinned women with loose curly or wavy hair are elevated. Very convenient. All Lucipherian programming. Interestingly enough it's the light skinned men with the loose curly or wavy hair who seem to have much more love and put dark skinned women on a pedestal. It seems to be more Afro-American this texturism and colourism programming. This programming seems to be pushed worldwide.
Men who take so much pride in their daughter’s looks never sit right with me. They seek out a particular type of woman to procreate with to say things like this out of pride. They love that their daughters look like their mom, the women they are sexually attracted to. Why would you care about how attractive you find your daughter and her features? Any parents that brings up how attractive they think their children are is so weird because literally why does it matter???
Everything men do is for the perception of others, including the kind of children they desperately hope to produce. This is most prevalent with black men. They have a very desperate need for approval in all things. They want to be envied and admired and in most cases, over superficial things.
@@JMOlsen_except they don’t act this way when their daughters go with a white or Asian man tho. They want their daughters to go with men who look like them. Let’s not be dense here. It has nothing to do with wanting their bloodline to continue and thrive.
I have taught my daughter to appreciate her 4c hair and dark skin. It was a battle I'm proud of myself for fighting. That's why this girl's channel is fire. She continues to say what I have always felt about that foolishness in my own family.
I know what you mean by your own family. My son is mixed and has 3c/4a hair. My own mother who is light skinned and has relaxed her hair since before I was born (I'm 31), told me his hair looks bad and to get it cut. It was already pretty short, and healthy. I was like I don't see anything wrong with his hair. I empathize with absurdity concerning texturism and colorism even within your own family unit.
I wonder how Shannon Sharpe would react if I jumped into the comments of his post and said something like, "You did good bruh because she didn't get raggedy nappy hair like yours!" I wonder how he would take it?? Would he be offended or flattered?
Honestly he probably would be flattered. These types of Black men actually strive to breed out a 4c hair texture female. For years they have been telling us it was the non-bm who were against us but the BM true colors have came out and shows they are strictly dark skinned male but white to light skinned female with no kinky hair when it comes to high status. It is not just preferable but basically a sort of caste system for Black females it's sad that we have to deal with this from the males that we genetically have an imprint for. Yet time for BW to get wise.
Exactly. I wonder what the folks defending his comment would say too 🤔 I can imagine they’d be pissed off lol but since his comment implies that long, loose textured black hair is more desirable they have no room to get mad
This is the TRUTH!!! Shannon feeling the need to let everyone know that his daughter hair is real shows he struggles with insecurities and self hate. I honestly thought with the natural hair movement that black women would wear their natural hair instead of weaves but the natural hair movement is TOXIC!!!! The natural hair movement being categorized by textures (2c,3c 4c) is a major problem because the girls with tight kinky is looked down upon. The ladies with the looser girls gets the sponsors and brand deals. It’s also unfortunate that the negative comments are from the black community. Overall it’s a sad topic but it’s reality and hopefully we as a community can resolve this problem. Great video 🔥
After I had my son, his family on his father's side made a comment about his eyes saying they would get lighter in time. What is wrong with his beautiful dark brown eyes?? The self hate is so deep in us that we can't even see how we pass it from generation to generation.
Same here! When I started wearing a TWA, my dad was my harshest critic. He said no man would date a woman with hair as short as mine.. I laughed, hugged him & changed the subject!
I knew a Grandma who has 3 hair. Her great granddaughter has afro hair. We took her to the store and a blk cashier said "I love her hair!" The girl had 2 afro puffs. The GM said laughing" I hate it!" I told the girl her hair is beautiful and don't let nobody tell you differently.
I can’t say my experience isn’t that much different, the black males I know from America all have non black women, or have only dated such, and expressed attraction towards non black. The ones from the Caribbean would harp on about “lightskin” and trio over themselves when seeing a non black woman on campus. And in group chats it’s all they would ever talk about. Being surprised by black people in a predominantly black country and all you can fantasize about is non black women? Something is seriously wrong. I can only say 2 that I know of have a black woman. And one of them, talking about other races constantly where she can’t see.
I have natural 3c hair that historically grew pretty long. I’ll admit that I have always received positive feedback for it. I’ve been recently dealing with some serious medically related hair loss and started wearing wigs. it’s been tough hearing all this negative feedback about hair pieces when people have no idea what women are going through or their motivations
The sad part about texturism is it will really mess you up and make you want to make your hair as unnoticeable as possible, so you constantly have to do undo the brainwashing. As black women we get different treatment with different hair styles. I noticed when my Afro is out out with no curl definer is when I get the worse treatment specifically from everyone. My mother does not wear her hair out at all and she from the gen x generation where it was perm and hot combs right after like 🥴
Gen X here and you are right. I wear my hair natural but still struggle with loving myself with kinky hair to this day and it's been 11 years since I went natural.
Hi , I am a 55 years old African from ivory cost , been in USA for over 30 years , have children here older than you , you are a treasure !! Keep up with the good work , you are gorgeous 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Girl. All of this. There is a reason so many of them keep their hair very low. Sad. And when men fawn over the length and texture of their daughter’s hair, it comes off as creepy.
It is creepy. Many of them fetishize their mixed daughters and see their mixed sons as competition...but that's a conversation they'll never be ready to have.👀
Twenty years ago I worked for a dark-skinned Indian man, we were the same color but his hair was pin straight. One day I overheard him and his wife argue over the phone and to insult him she called him blackie! Turns out she married him for money, he married her to lighten his offspring. Year later I dated a beautiful Indian banker and when we went by my Indian friend's shop she was so surprised she couldn't speak. That a very light, successful Indian man would openly date a dark woman, indeed a black dark woman was right up there with a virgin birth apparently. We broke up as he was a bit more ready to get serious than I was but the reactions by Indians in NYC was entertaining AF! I am now married to a German/English guy and all my friends were pushing for the babies as they would be mixed and so more "desirable", to bad so sad I opted for cats instead.
I’m a blk woman married to an Indian man as well. The looks from Indian women are crazy. We also didn’t have kids. We have a cat and a dog instead 😊 they both have “good fur!” Lol
After reading your experienceI couldn't help but ponder as to where your self-acceptance was because it seems that you are choosing people that do not look like you and expecting them to appreciate who you are when there's no history of that ever really truly happening on the deepest level so where are you on your own self-acceptance that might be a question I know it is for me after reading this.
I don’t see an issue with that. I didn’t see the full thing so I will only judge the context you gave. Giving descriptions isn’t always hatred my natural hair is wooly in some areas and crunchy and?
Girl it’s texturism but go off, she’s on a platform with her millions of followers calling her hair crunchy, knowing that she’s equating it to “bad hair” let’s be so fr and see the nuance
@@kamiahollykh that’s like saying if I call it ghetto I’m calling it black, you’re equating crunchy with bad because you have a negative association with it. It’s just descriptive. We don’t have to use all sugar coated “nice” words to describe Afro textured or natural hair in order for it to be politically correct or acceptable.
@@TamTam9-15her hair being “crunchy” does not mean all hair that is her hair type is crunchy. Crunchy is not “descriptive” of type 4 hair. Tightly curled, easier to break, requires more oil, prone to tangle more than straight hair (of course curly/coily hair tangles more….it’s curly). Anyone can have coarse hair. I know white people with “coarse” hair. My hair is 4c or 4b i do not know since people tell me my hair is not 4c…but either way based on the 4c hair i have styled and the hair i have is always soft and fluffy. Everyone hair feels “dry” when it literally is dry lol.
Crunchy? That sounds like a personal problem. If she doesn't know how to moisturize her hair, she needs to just say that. I wish black people would just admit that they don't know how to do their hair instead of blaming the hair itself. The hair is not the problem, their lack of knowledge is.
Not up lifting an entire group of men but my experience is that white men who date BW don’t generally care either way about hair or features of their children. I’m convinced bm typically date out date for designer children.
@@Mom-mp7fo that’s why I said generally I can’t give 100% answered no one can. I’m married to white man and he has never commented on the texture of our daughter’s hair or mine. Just the color. Does my anecdotal account negate your great grandfather’s feelings? No not at all.
@@TamTam9-15i am married to one too and Can agree, they don’t care as much as the men in our community. And it makes me SICK that this is the reality but it is. He thinks I’m beautiful with a shrunken 4c fro and any other style. He truly doesn’t care and neither of us fantasizes about how non-Black our kid will look lol or loose curls etc. we talk about the values we want to instill in our kids. And it’s facts. When I see BW they tend to have natural hair more often than BW with BM. 🤷🏾♀️😬 There shouldn’t be a world where a BW can be more comfortable in her natural beauty with a WM than a BM but here we are. 🤦🏾♀️
This is only tangentially related to your point, but a friend and I were just having this conversation about how odd it is that Black footballers form Brazil- a country that, outside of Africa, has the largest population of people of African descent and a significant population of people of mixed race- only date and marry blonde Brazilian women. My friend came to the same conclusion that you did: that many are trying to erase the part of themselves that they hate.
Its sad that we as black people hate the very gifts that make us so special, unique, and talented. We got that ugly duckling syndrome. We've been called ugly for so long, now we see we are a majestic swan but we just want to be a duck.
I just made a comment about a Brazilian painting called Redemption of Cain(1895) showing a Black grandma celebrating that her (implied) biracial child met a white man and they have a basically white passing child. In Brazil it was explicitly promoted to “lighten the race”, and this whitening process was a sign of social mobility. Different set of racial politics than the US, but same old White supremacy and internalized anti-Blackness
@@aviianna The desire to "whiten" the population was popular throughout Latin America. The casta paintings are clear examples of whitening as a sign of social mobility, as you stated.
the thing is, they only act this way with women, and their daughters. They want their daughters to marry men that look like them. Not a blonde hair blue eyed male. They are often the ones to harp on too about the black race being erased when black women date out but they are the ones who do it the most.
Listen, your facial expressions throughout this entire video is SENDING. ME. LOLOL All of it FACTS! Some Black people want to have mixed kids then pretend that they're not mixed, that they're Black. It's so odd, the hatred of self.
I think only praising your daughter for features she has that you find attractive is linked to how a lot of men can only view women as potential partners. it doesn't matter to them if a woman has a fulfilling life and accomplished many things, if she's not desirable to them, she's worthless. I see this all the time in the comments of women making tattoo content, there are swarms of men saying things like "how dare you mark your skin, you are now unattractive to me so you never should've done it, you're gross now" and this is a stranger. a random person you will never meet. why does it matter if they're attractive to you, you will never have the opportunity to have them as your partner. yet they rant and rage anyway about how they've "ruined their bodies" because to them all women are is potential wives or girlfriends or hook ups. they're not friends, teachers, acquaintances, coworkers, leaders, none of that. they don't view women as people. so when their daughters have attractive features, they're proud of themselves for producing good relationship material for other men. I love your outfit today! the headscarf and royal blue remind me of renaissance paintings of the virgin mary. it's very regal, and the jewellery brings it together so well.
Good point. I noticed that too. Men treat women based on looks/attraction level. It's sad. And the reason why many women go to extreme lengths to enhance their looks just to feel validation from men.
I agree 1,000% with this video and its contents. What’s crazy about Black people who are so proud of and flaunt their bi-racial kids because of their skin color or hair texture, is they don’t stop to think that the features they’re glorifying don’t even come from THEM! Talk about the epitome of self-hatred. 😢
yup 100%. When you say it this loud and clear to them though they start to stutter and shut down. They don’t want to recognize and acknowledge the self hate and internalized anti-blackness that they have within them. Call it out in clear words then they get defensive and angry.
@@Criticalnin: True. And we need to get away from the self-blame. It is now our responsibility to come together, educate ourselves, and gain understanding.
My daughter has two black parents. She was born with bone straight hair and looked mixed. When people saw her photos they have literally said that people die for her hair. I said if people are dying for her hair them they have a lot of problems and hair isnt one of them. That always stopped them in their tracks. Her hair grew into 3c 4a and the steands are.fine. She doesnt wear it out because doesnt like the attention. My hair is Predominately 4a with 4b sprinkled in. The way men act cookoo over my hair is bizarre. Ive liteally been asked by grown black men what i do to get my hair like this. I freaking hate it and find them so weird. Look at safaree fawnwd over ericas hair. He looked like he wanted to scalp her.
Protect your daughter… seriously. They act like this till they get pass that honeymoon stage and when it settles in that she is a black woman then they will treat her like the rest. I hope you educate her on appreciation vs fetishizing. I remember a black man walking up to my mom going on about how much he hates them black dark women.. he’s dark skin, my mom is medium brown skin…. These are the only race of men that act this way. Idc what anyone says about white people and racism. These men are the loudest about skin colour and hair texture than any other race of man.
You are so spot on about this. My brothers are like this. One brother married a Turkish chic and had a son. When I had my son, he called him nappy head... and I blew up. He had always made suspect comments like mixing is the solution or other women (nonBlack) are more feminine. We do not have a relationship and I don't want him around my son because I don't want him to pass that ideology on to him. My mom doesn't understand either. I encourage my son to embrace his and others' Blackness. Cause all that other rara is some sick ish. In trying to break generational curses and they don't get it.
I have 3c hair texture, and it is NOT an accomplishment or even an affirmative sign of mixed parentage, of which I am not. Or anyone else that i know with 3c hair. Ive been loc'd for the past 22 years and the comments that Ive received from Black men particularly are disturbing.People kill me with this "good hair/bad hair" mentality. Texturism and Featurism are REAL.
You said everything that needed saying period. We as a community really need to grapple with our internalized anti blackness and self-loathing if we're ever going to get free and recognize just how much of the prototype we are! Love your eye shadow by the way ❤
2:02 You spoke a word! My hair is natural but I remember when it was relaxed or whenever I wore a weave, men would tell me I needed to be natural (even though their actions often favored straight or Eurocentric hair). I would reply encouraging them to wear or grow out their own natural hair. They seemed surprised. Most of them will never skip a hair cut and they constantly wore du rags to “make waves.” Just look at how Jay-Z is talked down on by both black men and women for wearing his natural hair texture.
They simply don't love the way they look (aka self haters), that's why a lot of them be hoping and praying that their child/children would mainly look like the non black/white parent instead of themselves (especially if it's a girl). None of these texturist/colorist BM surprises me anymore, sadly at this point it's expected
Yup just like type 4 hair is only praised when it’s bra strap length or longer in its shrinkage state. I will side eye any adult who is happy that their child or any child has “good hair”🤔. The only thing I will care about is that my child is healthy .
I worked with an asian girl who married a blk man. They had a daughter with kinky afro textured hair. She was disappointed and said "I wish she had my hair" poor child will be going through it.
Well....not one lie was told in this video. Men like Shannon Sharpe hate their own features. So technically he didn't do a good job that non-black/mixed woman did a "good job". Since he didn't want to replicate his own African features in anyway shape or form. SMDH.
So, I wear my hair in 8 twists. This helps keep my fine, low porosity, 4c hair, clumped and less prone to breakage. There are rare times I get something like, "Thanks sistah for wearing your natural". And most times a scrunch face. What usually makes the mood change for me is a mega-watt smile and clean teeth and tongue. * real quick* was going for a cut and had two puffs; came out with straight hair. This guy said in front of a group of guys, " Naw sis, I know you didn't just go put a weave in your head with all that hair you have." Just rolled my eyes and kept walking. I don't have time to explain, sir.
I can honestly say this really is a thing with black and carribbean parents. I have a mixture of fine 3c,4a,4b hair. When I first went natural in early high school, my mom spent day in and day out screaming at me to perm it and her constant disappoval. Once my hair grew to bra strap to mid back length, she then acted like she was an advocate for my hair the whole time. I remember my mom saying , " How she was happy I didn't get my dad's side of the family hair bc its "rough" meaning (4c). She would also encourage me to date hispanics or people outside of my race to bring home " pretty babies". I even remember how ppl would treat my hair almost like a fetish or people would rip out my hair during box braids or whatever from not knowing how to do it in the first place until it became uncomfortable and made me lock my hair.
@oncode7735 that doesn't apply to me or anyone else that has multiple textures in their head. Each texture takes up a good portion of my head so there isn't one that's really dominant over the other.
GIRL! CARIBBEAN person here too and I can confirm 100%!! When your hair is short, it’s hell on earth, but long? The attitudes are very different. Don’t forget to mention that some will also refer to the hair as n****ger hair too. My family members would do that quite a lot. When it started reaching mid back that’s when those comments started to dissipate. It’s still present tho especially with the older generation. My Grand mother would put her hands in my hair and rough it about, talking about how hard and rough it was. And that I should “do something” with it. IYKYK!!! My hair did not start growing long until I was old enough to take proactive measures in my hair care. One thing I am appreciative for is that my mother never made me feel like I had to relax my hair. She wanted it to be my choice and not repeat what her mother did to her. Black people need to be like this, I’d say black women are starting to step in that direction but black men? Not at all.
My husband was darkskinned with super wavy hair. Everyone was HOPING AND PRAYING our son had my husbands hair texture. Turns out he has mine and I was happy. My husband loved my hair. It was specifically our parents (his dad and my mom) who were pressed about his hair texture. Dad saying "he's gonna have our hair😏" and my mom going as far as to say his hair texture was "messed up" when it began to change. His dad has wavy hair and my mom refuses to stop perming. I'm noticing that my husband and I had to break many generational curses and its tragic that people refuse to unlearn their biases and prejudices. Especially, against themselves and others like them.
Keep on breaking the cycle! More black people need to wake up and stop perpetuate the hate that black people have for blackness. I wish perming products were outright banned. Black women going bald so they can get looser hair only to just put it in a pony tail. my Grand mother is the same. Will NOT stop perming at her big age! But wears wigs also!! So what’s the point of perming? good grief
Some BM freely mock and discriminate against BW. But let a BW say she prefers WM because BM have issues and you see them all over YT in their feelings and mad as hell. They can’t take it when BW speak the truth about them.
Thank you for this video. Jewish women wear wigs ALL the time. White women in general also wear extensions. Heck look back in time where White men and women wore wigs! Why are we always attacked for wearing extensions etc.? I will never understand
It has to do with slavery that’s why. Everyone judges blk people for everything! Yes they wear hair extensions but the world did a good job sweeping it under rug
Gen X here. First off thank you for being you...i absolutely love your content. You're so deeply intelligent and uniquely insightful. Many of y'all who are in the millennial generation have the language that we didn't, to express the truth about ourselves and the world around us.
Her hair definitely isn’t 3c. It’s definitely type 4 hair. It looks like she has a braid out. Her hair is just very healthy so it looks very good. But I agree, black people obsess over loose hair.
Yeah. I agree. It looks very well moisturized and healthy, but it looks type 4 to me as well. Just long. Playing devil’s advocate, but maybe he felt the need to say it’s her hair because it’s long and many non black people still think we can’t grow our hair?
I have 3b hair, and not once has my dad been "proud" of my hair texture. He has been proud of my accomplishments in life. He's also complimented me on my hairstyles and how beautiful I am like most dads would do. This is weird on so many levels.
I have these conversations frequently. Don't you get tired? 😢i know i do 😅. Thank you for your continued pursuit of helping us 4c brown skin women be seen
If BW stop chasing BM validation a lot of the bs would stop. I see so many BW begging BM for love and it's embarrassing. I hope most can heal and move on from the begging, it makes the majority of BW look desperate. At some point as a whole BW need to start seeing through the bs.
I've come a long way with my hair journey. I've mostly been natural but I've hated my natural hair when growing up bc of the negative reinforcements it garnered.i wore braids so much that people did not know what my real hair looked like. I haven't worn any braided extensions in such a long time that people don't remember that phase n im proud of that fact When I c little girls with 4c hair I go out of my way to make positive comments on their styles bc I never got that.
That is why awhile back when the natural hair movement started around 2008ish it was suppose to embrace mostly type 4 hair texture..the texture that was more unacceptable. I noticed the type 2s and 3s got involved and hijacked it to once again take the attention away from type 4s. I already knew when you hear about natural hair or when men say they like natural hair they are really talking about and prefer the type 2 and 3. Moving forward let's specify what we are going to focus and embrace without others interfering to hijack it. I knew it was a matter of time...on social media, I've seen our race embraced the loose curls heavily. If they do embrace the type 4, it better be long.
Well black people want to insist they can be full black and have loose hair like a mixed, white or asian women so they'll keep pushing the loose hair type.
I know this video is specifically about black men so this story may be irrelevant here but I'm fresh off reading a story posted by a grieving mother of twins that has stuck itself in my brain for the past few hours. The mother talked about a lot of things and her story is truly heartwrenching as she tells how one of the twins had a deadly allergy to coconut oil and how the grandmother (mother of the poster) accidentally killed that twin by exposing her to coconut oil while doing the child's hair after being repeatedly told not to. By all accounts, according to the mother of the twins, her mother was a perfect grandmother except for tiny comments she would make about her grandchildren's hair where she would suggest that coconut oil would help a lot to manage the children's "course and textured" hair. As the mother describes, both her and her husband had pin straight hair and so no one could understand why their twins had such curly, textured hair esp the grandmother. The poster finishes her story by saying how to this day se will never understand what motivated the grandmother to use coconut hair in the girls hair knowing that the child had an allergy to it when she had always been otherwise a perfect grandmother. Just my perspective but after reading that story all I could think was that texturism killed her daughter. That child was only two years old. The grandmother even confessed that she used the coconut oil in her allergic granddughters hair because she was convinced it would "smooth out" the texture and result in a prettier style. Even though the mother didn't connect her daughter's death and the grandmother's constant focus on the child's textured hair, I really do think that poor child would be alive now if she hadn't been born related to someone who valued her having smooth, loose-textured hair more than she valued her health. I feel like we tend to treat texturism as a "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" situation but texturism is very much dangerous and harmful to our girl children as the story above proves.
Tht is disgusting and sick and the grandmother needs to be charged with a crime. No ma'am. You'd rather poison your granddaughter over a texture than use other products? Thts psycho and she should not be anywhere near little blk girls.
I think we need to push the narrative more that short hair is beautiful too. Biologically there is no reason that hair needs to be long down our backs. You can be a completely healthy person with short hair. Let’s start praising girls with naturally short hair no matter their texture. People’s obsession with long hair is weird to me.
This hair thing has been going on for centuries. It's not stopping now. It's just more disturbing when we see that celebrities are exactly the same as us.
wow mayowa! thanks for sharing :) at a family function, my lightskin cousin and his white latina gf were making weird/“appraising” comments on a mixed baby’s hair. as i was holding the baby, i looked up in disgust and shock. it’s not that looser hair isn’t beautiful, but that it’s beauty can only exist when kinky hair is shitted on. free your mind and your mf hair!
I love all of our textures. I'm just glad whenever I see a woman rocking her natural texture no matter what it is. I personally think that whether it's a wash and go or a TWA, a woman always looks better with her own hair than a wig or weave.
Unpopular opinion: Like a lot of black women with long natural hair on the internet, for every 3 'please drop the routine' comment, there is at least 1 "issa wig" comment from the same women in these comments breathlessly saying "nobody asked about her hair." Maybe nobody asked about her hair.... Seems to me he was just trying to get the jump the gun on some of ya'll because you know "tell her to take the wig off, it's too hot for all that" was coming eventually. I used to be in a facebook group for natural hair. The "issa wig" remarks always come.
Thank you for this commentary. I love how you confront these issues which BW sometimes don’t know how to dissect or speak out about. No surprise - Shannon Sharp has been a raging racist and colorist against BW.
I find texturism very sickening and just weird. I’m over it. My father is Mexican and black/ my mom is white. I have type 4 hair with a very coily/curly pattern
it's nothing but heartbreaking when parents have a crazy obsession with their children turning out a certain way. i am grateful for my mother accepting me and loving me the way i am even if i was surprisingly a girl instead of a boy. if you cannot accept your child no matter how it comes out (whether it be features, skin color, gender and whatever else) then don't. have. kids. they don't deserve a life where they will never be good enough simply because they turned out another way than the parents hoped.
My Dad is like this. Both of my parents are lightskinned multiracial black people. My Dad is more Boris Kodjoe & my mom is like Soledad O'Brien only more pale, with loser hair texture & green/hazel eyes. Anyway, my Dad sees it as a flex that my brothers & I have "good hair". In fact, most people in our family look similar to us. When I was about 15 I had a dark skinned boyfriend & my dad said something like, "I need to watch out because I could have darkskinned kids or something stupid like that". And as much Black History my mom loved to teach us, whenever she called me Black, it was always said with a negative inflection.
Hi Mayowa! I love you and your content & I haven’t finished the video yet, but I think he is also fawning over the length too which is an insecurity I’ve developed since I stoped wearing braids 24/7. It seems like everyone who has type 4 hair nowadays has incredibly long hair according to social media. My hair is not super short, but it doesn’t really grow past a certain length and I’ve been fighting insecurity about it. When I think about it, I don’t even truly want super long hair. Too much work to maintain and I’m lazy lol, but I know I’d be seen as more desirable with it.
lol, you read my mind!! my hair isn't short enough to be a twa, but it isn't long either. i used that exact same rationale on myself; "girl, you know yo ass is too lazy to deal with long hair, be grateful for what you got!" eurocentrism makes it so hard to love ourselves at times.. i'm sure your hair is gorgeous btw 🤎🤎
I think you are one of the most beautiful and well spoken women I’ve ever had the pleasure to view. You make me prouder of my hair and skin. I love when you post and I can hear what’s on your mind. Great video. Stay fabulous.🥰🤩💖
I'm from a mixed family. I'm very dark like my dad (like Alek Wek, the model) with 3C hair. People think I'm wearing a wig or have a jheri curl. My daughters have the same curl pattern and also long hair past their butt, but strangers think it's from their father who "must be White." I hear lots of comments like "the father must be White." Black people come in all shades with varying hair textures. It's time we embrace all of it. I'm grateful that my little girls embrace their hair and love wearing their natural hair as I do. They want to wear their hair big like mommy because I wear wash and go styles and don't care what people think. Self-acceptance is crucial to mental health. People need to stop engaging in hair politics. We are human, and God made us the way we're meant to be.
I’m Ethiopian with 2b/2c hair and the comments I get from black men in America are crazy too, I wonder if they would have the audacity to talk down on their mothers/ aunts/ sisters the same way they talk down on random black women
One of the first things my dad said when he met both my current and previous partner was “oh wow, now my grandkids will have good hair” because these men had 3c hair. He says it as a “joke” but it hits on something real.
Is it really that hard to teach they're kids to love themselves no matter the skin color complexion, hair texture, features, etc. I'm so glad my dad told me that my kinky hair is beautiful and I shouldn't be ashamed of it. Nothing wrong with wearing hair extensions/certain styles as long I'm not constantly avoiding to wear my real hair out.
Let's not forget that rapper (YG) did a little speech on how he had a "pretty light skinned daughter."" 😂 Like I'm starting to wonder why people want to be attracted to their children?!
I love you, young lady. You're brilliant. You look like me (I say it that way because I'm older) so I've experienced life the way you have but it has never occurred to me to think as deeply about this as you do. Thanks for shining your light on this important conversation because I'd have read that silly post and not seen the issue. It's so wrong. Especially with the treatment Shannon got that made him leave his show. This is why your work is so important.
2:23 i never thought about that before. I've always seen black men have short hair and rarely long but i thought thay was just the trend for men in general. Because men keep their hair short
Another reason I don't date BM. They see us (BW) as less beautiful, while they see other women as the pinnacle of beauty or the "end goal." I dont want to be with anyone (BM) who sees me as just "okay." Like no. Other races of males don't make me feel "just okay."
My adopted mother is 75 years old, dark skin, and personally married and had a child with a mixed man. She wanted to make sure her child would be mixed presenting or at least lacked her Afro centric features. When she adopted me, she only complimented my hair texture (3C/4A). I also noticed she primarily complimented light skinned kids (included babies)/people but would refer to dark skinned people as monkeys or worse. All of my life I’ve only ever been told that my skin is unacceptable but my hair is my saving grace. “What are you mixed with?” Anyway, it took me years and I’m only 25 now to full on accept my hair the way it is.
This is very common I know many DSBW that call other DSBP names and they justify by saying, "Well this is how I was treated..." it's really internalized colorism and racism.
what in the world? Sharpe literally said nothing about her hair texture but just that her hair was real. I didn't even notice her hair texture and I'm 95% 4c. This is either a stretch or reading into it in my opinion. In fact I would say it's your head that textures lives rent free in because how did 'yes that's her real hair' become 'she has good hair' what??
Yeah, black (dark skinned) men do this a lot; they put a lot of focus, and emphasis, on the hair texture, and length, of the woman they are dating (if she's a racial minority). I remember, Tamara Mowery, speaking about this on her reality show a few years ago; she said most black men she dated never wanted her to wear her natural curls and always wanted her to wear her hair straight. I personally think that black men's obsession with hair texture and length stems from their own mothers; a lot of black women (subconsciously) try to mimick that loose curl pattern, or European straightness, and their sons notice; that's why black men think it's a badge of honor to produce children that reflect the hair type that their own mothers chase after. Crazy.
Thank you for being a beautiful natural hair BW who talks on these subjects in such a respectful and eloquent way. Even when talking about weaves and perms, you talk about it with compassion and understanding. And you don't judge and are not trying to force your ways on anyone. You let people do what they wanna do. I really respect that in you. 💜
Sad this is an issue in our community, ppl tells my i have good hair. I keep my hair braide and wear wigs sometimes because i get tired of combing it. But it trips me out how black ppl hate nappy hair. Sharpe needs to stop if it was for his Money a woman wouldnt look twice at him
![ILLSLICK - WINTER IS COMING [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/dwTMeM1zIhQ/mqdefault.jpg)
Nobody would have even mentioned her hair. It's a disease at this point.
I call it the "Black hair Psychosis" I really thought we'd be over it by now.
Nobody! He would have had a perfectly good random flex about Father’s Day (which I’m pretty sure is the only time he mentions his kids) if he had left off the p.s my girl got good hair from me psa.
Black ppl are weird
Shannon Sharpe is a disease at this point.
This is why it's up to black women to correct the disease , black women keep giving birth to these colorist texture obsessed black men , black women it's time to end this relentless cycle , if it's poison in the water you don't keep drinking it , if black men keep up with this toxic behavior you don't keep giving birth to them , it's time to start all over , go back to the drawing board , we need to breed this behavior and mindset out , the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome , black women yall are the only ones who can stop this ,it's time for yall to do something different
Black men's longing for whiteness and being white adjacent is the most important thing to them. This is why time and time again we see them telling on themselves.
💯
This! Time & time again! That's why I'm glad she made this video because nobody talks about the effect our fathers, uncles, brothers, etc have on our self-esteem. It seems like they have internalized the "isms" and projected them onto Black women and they also want their children to represent them in an "acceptable way" or with an "acceptable standard of beauty" to escape the pain they have felt. The funny thing is, I think that all those pejoratives used in old ads and majority culture were just lies to "keep us in our place" socially, so we always feel beneath or at the bottom because in my experience, other cultures are fascinated by our uniqueness, including our 4C hair. Some even seem to fetishize it... Hopefully, one day we humans will all learn to love all of ourselves.
Its their number 1 priority
Whats particularly hilarious is that if his daughter got 4c hair i GUARANTEE he would never make mention of her hair. No one was gonna say anything about her hair, he just wanted to draw attention to it. Also please note the "I did a good job" aspect of his tweet. Is the good job mating with a white/mixed woman to dilute the blackness in his children so their hair would be loose? Just curious...
No shade. Honeslty, her hair is the only thing that saved her. Otherwise, she completely looks like him.
@@lavender6500just my observation, I've noticed attractive women typically have a good looking father. I've also noticed that if a man has a strong jawline or cheekbone structure, their daughter will too.
Was wondering if anyone caught that 😢....
@@lavender6500😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀
You know what’s funnier? They only act this way to their female children. Not the boys. These same men view lightskin men as feminine and emasculate them. They want their sons to be as dark and coiled haired as them but they want their daughters the same as their preferences.
We all know good and hell well that when black men say they want black women to wear their natural hair, they ARE NOT talking about black women with nappy/kinky/4C hair. They're talking about black women with looser, "good" hair. Like gtfo bro!🙄
I wear my coarse, afro textured hair proud and unapologetically. I don't give a damn what they like or don't like!
@@lisabrightly ❤️👩🏽🦱✊🏾
My hair is not coarse but i do have 4c or 4b (im told my hair is not 4c so i do not know) and i love my hair and 4c hair too! Very beautiful short or long. I am completely mesmerized by it.
So, MIXED women and not BLACK women?
@@themonsterwithin4000 basically, yes.
Dear Black Women, you will never be able to please black men so don't try to. Travel, educate and pamper yourself. Speak positively about yourself and be happy.
Yesss....SO true. A BM was in another video's comments complaining about BW with weaves & wigs, but he's ok with whyte women wearing them because he thinks it looks better on them. The bar will forever be raised to the heavens for us but lowered to the basement for others. Time to move on, ladies.
@@4u2cre8Only conquered males talk about wigs and weaves; as soon as I see mention of it then that "man" is dismissed as trifling.
❤❤❤
EXACTLY! BLACK WOMEN FOCUS ON YOU FORGET THE REST! ❤
And don't date them.
7:47 Colorist black men want dark skinned sons and light skinned daughters. That is a common theme in many sitcoms featuring black families. The light skinned daughter will be considered the pretty girl and if there's a dark skinned daughter, she's usually portrayed as an odd ball.
Black ish I think, is a modern day show that is doing exactly this that touts itself as a black sitcom. The one episode I cared to remember had the, light skinned, looser textured hair daughter, in school was being bullied by a black, dark skinn, and braided hair girl for not being “black enough” (🙄🙄) and the class took a dna test which apparently showed that the daughter had more black dna that the dark skinned, braided hair girl. So everyone was laughing at her instead. I couldn’t stop rolling my eyes the entire episode. Another thing I can think of where this happens, but it’s a movie, black man, with white woman as the wife, the son has afro textured hair, darker skinned, the daughter ( her name escapes me, but she is a black girl that was very prominent in movies as a child) medium toned skintone, but they had some sort of straight hair braided wig on her. Like… are black women not allowed to just be natural like all these people say they love? Why is it this standard for what a black woman is allowed to be and look like is only with traits that the majority of black women or black people do not have?
Not to mention all the times they replaced a Dark-skin mother/daughter with a lighter skinned one in later seasons.
@@jerelgayle3625 oh yeah. They are good for doing that, too !
Among whites, its brunette sons and blonde daughters
@@kathleenking47 Very interesting !
BM are really too interested and preoccupied with weave, hair, nails, makeup and whatever else would be considered "feminine" things. It's really weird.
Yessss… I don’t get the obsession!!
Exactly, like why aren't men more obsessed with what they need to work on...instead of women. This Kevin Samuel generation has it mixed up.
@@faithinallthingsw4088 They have no real depth or intelligence.
Other races of men are not this invested. Maybe to some degree. But BM are like frothing at the mouth, eyes bulging. It’s not that serious! 😂
@@princessprincess7708 maam the diaspora men are no better lmaooo look how they have their women living in the 21st century !!!! I think tf not bm are global dust
I remember when I was pregnant and my husband is mixed. My parents and my in laws were literally hoping my child would have his hair texture. I was so disappointed in them but she ended up type 4 hair like mine and my mother in law seemed disappointed. I was happy cause I wanted my child to look black. Why is it so important that my child only look like him. I still get comments about straightening her and tell them absolutely not we not living in the culture over here.
Is the mother in law the white one
It's good to see that I'm not the only one here from New Orleans.🙂
@@taetm8868 I have the same question? Smh
I have mixed daughters. My husband is white. One of my daughters have a 3b hair pattern and the other one is 4a/4b. Genetics are so diverse. Not every mixed child is going to have type 3 hair.
That’s so disgusting. There’s definitely a spectrum in genetics because not every bi-racial looks the same. Some are light skin or white passing and some are brown skin. Some have straight hair and some have a mixture of textures. This is why I’m like I don’t understand why ppl are having babies with black ppl and are assuming that because they are mixed they’re gonna come out as their supposed dream of what that looks like. Wack asf do better ppl.
It’s also so weird to see men ogling over their daughter’s hair in this way. What a way to objectify your own child and perpetuate the idea that what’s on your head, rather what’s inside of your head, is more important.
So another dusty who look like their dad can swoop their biracial daughters up and treat them the same
It's no different than how women objectify themselves wearing scantily attire, dancing vulgarly or wearing fake lashes, fake nails, synthetic wigs, or human hair extensions that are not their own. There's nothing wrong with a father who is proud of his daughter's hair texture. The only people who have a problem with it, are those who are insecure about their own hair texture.
@@deamorebeaute2412hy would you be proud of a hair texture tho? What’s there to be proud of? This is such a weird take. Would y’all be saying there’s nothing wrong with them being proud of not having their skin tone be dark either? Or is that the only trait that’s not up for debate and y’all play dense when it comes to others? We gonna act like that insecurity that black people have with regards to type 4 hair which the MAJORITY of black have didn’t come out of no where? Since when did things exist in a vacuum.
@@deamorebeaute2412 Ideally, nobody would objectivity themselves. But you're talking about an adult woman making that decision. Parents directing that energy towards their children is weird AF, no matter how people try to justify it.
Ogling over your daughter’s hair like that is borderline incestuous in my opinion.
He's a colorist and has texturism issues. He was fawning over Marjorie Harvey a few months back. Excellent video ❤
Exactly. Skin colors and features he himself, and clearly his momma and daddy, do not possess. I wonder if he goes home, looks at his parents and think, d@'n ya'll ugly😅. Because men like him surely look in the mirror and hate how they look. He does not praise folks with similar features to his. I can't wait until a federal law is passed to call out BM's racism towards blk ppl. And they get called on the carpet in courts for the psychotic foolishness of blk hatred they have.
You call Methany. I call her Heffany. Oouuhh.
@@lauren6509Pro Black to Blacken only includes Black men. I am pro Black women!
@@janine3330me too very much Pro BW! Love us. We've been through so much we must support one another
@@imo.124 PBW for life!🤗
No because it's SO WEIRD when black men try to have kids with traits that they fetishize. Like some of them consciously think about not just their kids having desirable features to society, but their kids having features that they are attracted to, and that's so weird to me.
It feels like a cross section between internalized racism/colorism, and sexism, because not only do they value and glamorize "the mixed look" but they also are projecting a weird notion that every woman attached to them has to be attractive, therefore they have to make daughters that they find attractive. It's so weird.
That purple scarf is giving btw
👏🏽
And they only care about “loose hair” when it is for their daughters
Like Jacky Oh's dad. Jacky said he dad is her best friend and at her funeral, all he did was praise her whiteness. I'm tired of black males.
Black men cannot sympathize or care for black women. I think that's a great point that they need every girl and woman in their proximity to be attractive. I'll take it a step further and say they're only attracted to light-skinned and/or mixed-looking women and can only commit to being a doting father if that's true.
Then add on top of all that the proverbial gun-toting, overprotective “I would never let a man play my daughter” mindset of these men, who are sometimes simultaneously treating any and every grown woman they can like dogs
The comment about people being afraid to have Black children reminds me of a famous Brazilian painting called the “Redemption of Cain”, (1895) which shows a Black grandma celebrating that her grandchild is white passing. Even the title treats Blackness as if it is in need of redemption or correction. I know that painting is old, but the idea still persists that it is aspirational to have children closer to whiteness.
I think back then it was celebrated that way because looking that way made your life easier. No one wants their children to suffer. That’s why passing kids were told by their blaq families to leave and go live as a WP. Because it gave them more opportunities.
FACTS!
Let’s be real. Black people coveting European hair and features is much deeper than just being about survival, greater opportunity, and having an easier life. We as Black people were not only victims of colonization, enslavement, discrimination, hatred, brutality, terrorism, segregation, and exclusion. We were physically stereotyped, talked bad about, and made fun of. There were more pejoratives invented about Black people than any other group on earth, many of which had to do with our appearance: “dinge”, “smoke”, “shine”, “burr-head” . . . the list goes on. Centuries of such language and skewed depictions have caused us to internalize that type of racism. We were made fun of on stage and in film, in literature, cartoons, newspapers, magazines, book illustrations, and advertisements. Even the Bible talks about a woman being “black, but comely”. Why the “but”?
We ourselves have come to believe our rich-toned, dark skin is ugly and makes us, women even more so, undesirable. We have accepted and normalized that our Afro-textured hair is “nappy”, unmanageable, unattractive, and in need of either alteration or being covered or hidden.
It is a known fact that marginalized groups adopt the slurs used to oppress them by the greater power structure. There’s a reason we still call each other the n-word. And it’s *not* because we’ve reclaimed it, made it our own, or transformed it strictly into a term of endearment.
Many of us grew up having our hair straightened, chemically or otherwise, since we could walk or by the time we started daycare. And how many times have we heard Black parents tell their kids to “Get your Black a** in the house.” Children call each other “Black African Bootie Scratchers”. We refer to each other’s lips as “soup coolers”. Black men refer to Black women with short hair as “chicken heads”. Eddie Murphy’s nickname was “peas” because his hair was tightly coiled. When I was growing up, Black boys called darker-skinned girls “mud ducks”, and lots of dark-skinned boys were nicknamed “Boo”, which is a take on the epithet, “spook”.
Let’s not sugarcoat passing for white or deliberately diluting one’s sub-Saharan genes as being just about opportunity. It’s not.
I think it’s mostly out of fear. People having fear of seeing their kids get mistreated by society. Cause no one wants their kids to be bullied based on their skin or their hair. Some of that could be self hate, but when it comes to moms and their kids, I think its fear of society picking on them which is sad.
@@nellacurls1: But it’s also a way of acquiescing and giving in to racism. It’s a way of throwing in the towel and admitting defeat. It’s saying, “Instead of fighting, I’ll just stop looking like me. I will erase myself and disappear because you don’t like me.” It’s self-inflicted genocide.
Old Men like Shannon Sharpe have internalized a lot of antiblackness. Imagine growing up being Shannon. I know he got some sharpie jokes. One of his biggest fears was probably having a daughter be the reflection of him.
Underrated comment 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
The "young men" have the Same problem
Has he been to therapy? Like has he ever discussed it in an interview before?
😂 “Sharpie”
@@FMD70757 Wayans Bros show ass joke
To me it’s so weird that these self hating black men are determined to have children that look exactly like the women they’d lust after 🤢 and for yg to drop that stupid comment at a funeral is beyond me. Also the necessity to spout colourist comments completely off topic whenever they can is very telling and useful so one can happily avoid these type of men. Imagine someone being with you not for your personality, but just because of your loose hair and light skin.
Yes. It give p*dophilic vibes.
Well black men have the highest rate of divorce especially with white women. Can't love others if you hate yourself.
Let’s be real. Black people coveting European or European-like hair and features is much deeper than solely being about survival, opportunity, and having an easier life. We as Black people were not only victims of colonization, enslavement, discrimination, hatred, brutality, terrorism, segregation, and exclusion. We were physically stereotyped, talked bad about, and made fun of. There were and are more pejoratives invented about Black people than any group on earth, many of which had to do with our appearance: “dinge”, “smoke”, “shine”, “burr-head”, “tar-baby” . . . the list goes on. Centuries of such language and skewed depictions have caused us to internalize that type of racism. We were made fun of on stage and in film, in literature, cartoons, newspapers, magazines, book illustrations, and advertisements. Even in the Bible a woman refers to herself as “black, but comely”. Why the “but”?
We ourselves have come to believe our rich-toned, dark skin is ugly and makes us, women even more so, undesirable. We have accepted and normalized that our Afro-textured hair is “nappy”, unmanageable, unattractive, and in need of either alteration or being covered or hidden.
It is a known fact that marginalized groups adopt the slurs forced upon them by their oppressors and use them on themselves. There’s a reason we call each other the n-word. And it’s *not* because we’ve reclaimed it, made it our own, or transformed it strictly into a term of endearment.
Many of us grew up having our hair straightened, chemically or otherwise, since we could walk or by the time we started daycare. So many of us heard our parents tell us to “Get your Black a** in the house.” Children call each other “Black African Bootie Scratchers”. We give each other nicknames based on hair texture and skin color. Eddie Murphy’s nickname was “peas” because his hair was tightly coiled. When I was growing up, lots of dark-skinned boys were nicknamed “Boo”, which is a take on the epithet, “spook”.
Let’s not sugarcoat continually straightening our hair, wearing weaves, skin bleaching; passing or attempting to pass for white, Asian, or Latin-X; or deliberately diluting one’s sub-Saharan genes by choosing to only procreate with people of other races or someone lighter-skinned than ourselves with hair more loosely curled than our own as just being about opportunity. It’s not.
Black women especially the unambiguous generic or authentic looking bw (like ME so no shade as I think I’m beautiful but I’m still realistic to how some may view me) just need to accept the fact that once bm were able to be with non black women…they ran towards the light…pun intended. There are many black men that would love to be with a non black woman but they aren’t able to get in there for whatever reason. I’m not saying that no black man truly wants a black woman…ijs…next time you go out…pay attention to a black male around a lot of non black women…that negro loses his mind.
Well put
There is nothing European about Shannon, down to his nose. The only good thing is that he didn't create daughters he knew he would despise. Now, he should move on and get his hand out the pot. But, being a clown...
Talk the truth even if they don't want to hear it!! The truth is right here👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
That was weird that he mentioned her hair in the first place. That had nothing to do with the picture.
Right 😂😂
BM are always strange and sexualize the females around them included their own daughters.
“We want woman with real hair” shit like this is ONE of the reasons I don't date black men. I cant deal with the constant hate, stereotyping and criticism. I refuse to date anyone that talks shit about black women.
I’m ngl, I can’t disagree. When I was younger I didn’t used to think about it too deep when they said these things because at that point I didn’t think I truly understand what they were saying. but as I got older I realized how fucked up it was. And they were basically denigrating their mothers, aunts, sisters, future children, AND me. I still hear some black male friends say this things and I always question them on it. They backpedal but seeing how these things are so ingrained into them even across the black diaspora… I cannot say I would fault you for completely cutting them off. Majority of the people I know are black. The few that aren’t I have never heard them refer to black women in denigrating ways, or been told by anyone they view them as such. It has always been black men that I’ve heard bad thing said by them to and about black women. You know what’s funny? You’d think the “you’re pretty for a black girl” would come from other races. In my experience, I have only ever heard it from black men. A non black man when in a relationship with you, doesn’t feel the need to compare and chastise your traits in comparison to other women because they acknlowdge and appreciate you as a black woman. Black men do it BECAUSE you are black and want to compare you. They view others as superior even tho they have the same traits that they view as lesser
It’s the hypocrisy, lying and gaslighting that gets to me.
That Lavender headband is bringing out the glow from your skin.
I'm older than most on here ...child of the 70s, and was shamed by my own Nana for having 4C hair...but both my cousin and a close family friend's daughters had 3B hair. I knew they were thought to be prettier than me...this lasts in your psyche for soooo long. I'm finally free...but the scars...
I fully understand how you feel . My mom’s hair is loosely curly similar to 3b. I have 4c hair and she relaxed my hair when I was 3. As I went natural she always would tell me to stretch my hair. I preferred my shrunken Afro smh. This texturism in our community is so hurtful. I’m 40 and it still bothers me. I know my mom feels my hair is ugly/bad. It’s amazing I have the confidence I have now wearing my locs. No matter what anyone feels about my hair I love❤my hair. It’s a shame that hair can bring so much pain and division within our community and families.
amen.
I know how you feel. Child of the 90's but similar story. Have 5 sisters and 2 brothers and I was the darkest with the tightest curl pattern. Always treated like the black sheep the preferential treatment in the family left scars
@@lisetteb8727right. My mama relaxed my hair since a very young age. Recently I started to transition and I had styled my hair. She said what are you planning to do with your hair? That hurt. A couple days ago I said I had about 3 inches of new growth. She said why don't you relax it? I said because my hair has been breaking off from the relaxers and I'm done with them. I'd rather have healthy hair than socially acceptable hair atp. I am the only one who needs to accept my hair.
I love my Afro. My thick 4C hair is glorious
Same like it gives me personality
Yes it is🎉
Yes it is❤
You poor woman. You would trade your hair for any other straigh hair in a second.
Yes it is❤4C is beautiful short and long
Let's talk about it! In the UK, during the pandemic, I found it interesting that all the men were online wearing baseball caps because they couldn't get a shape up for months. Didn't have a clue about what to do or how to embrace their natural hair. But it's these same men that want to talk about "good hair"??? Please, miss me with the BS
They hate their hair and complexion these dark skinned men. Plus they are very intimidated by light skinned men, hence the envy and hatred for light skinned men. They push their insecurity on dark skinned women... How are light skinned men with loose curly or wavy hair mocked and seen as effeminate, and are not very represented and are seen as inferior to dark skinned men especially with kinky hair. Whilst the dark skinned women with the kinky hair are seen as less attractive and undesirable, at the bottom. Whilst the light skinned women with loose curly or wavy hair are elevated. Very convenient. All Lucipherian programming. Interestingly enough it's the light skinned men with the loose curly or wavy hair who seem to have much more love and put dark skinned women on a pedestal.
It seems to be more Afro-American this texturism and colourism programming. This programming seems to be pushed worldwide.
Same thing in the US!
Men who take so much pride in their daughter’s looks never sit right with me. They seek out a particular type of woman to procreate with to say things like this out of pride. They love that their daughters look like their mom, the women they are sexually attracted to. Why would you care about how attractive you find your daughter and her features? Any parents that brings up how attractive they think their children are is so weird because literally why does it matter???
Everything men do is for the perception of others, including the kind of children they desperately hope to produce. This is most prevalent with black men. They have a very desperate need for approval in all things. They want to be envied and admired and in most cases, over superficial things.
He is a total colorist. He has a very intelligent chocolate daughter who is in medical school and he rarely shows or mentions her or his son.
Because the children will presumably pass on those genes. They want their bloodline to continue and thrive, which is completely natural.
Short answer, they're p**ophiles straight up. They don't do this to their mixed or ligthskinned sons.
@@JMOlsen_except they don’t act this way when their daughters go with a white or Asian man tho. They want their daughters to go with men who look like them. Let’s not be dense here. It has nothing to do with wanting their bloodline to continue and thrive.
I have taught my daughter to appreciate her 4c hair and dark skin. It was a battle I'm proud of myself for fighting. That's why this girl's channel is fire. She continues to say what I have always felt about that foolishness in my own family.
I know what you mean by your own family. My son is mixed and has 3c/4a hair. My own mother who is light skinned and has relaxed her hair since before I was born (I'm 31), told me his hair looks bad and to get it cut. It was already pretty short, and healthy. I was like I don't see anything wrong with his hair. I empathize with absurdity concerning texturism and colorism even within your own family unit.
I wonder how Shannon Sharpe would react if I jumped into the comments of his post and said something like, "You did good bruh because she didn't get raggedy nappy hair like yours!" I wonder how he would take it?? Would he be offended or flattered?
Lmao, you should do it.....
He'd likely not even reply or like your comment for fear of outing his colorist self! They insult us and then play dumb.
He would be flattered because he hates himself. The kicker is if his daughter married a white man he would be absolutely devastated
Honestly he probably would be flattered. These types of Black men actually strive to breed out a 4c hair texture female. For years they have been telling us it was the non-bm who were against us but the BM true colors have came out and shows they are strictly dark skinned male but white to light skinned female with no kinky hair when it comes to high status. It is not just preferable but basically a sort of caste system for Black females it's sad that we have to deal with this from the males that we genetically have an imprint for. Yet time for BW to get wise.
Exactly. I wonder what the folks defending his comment would say too 🤔 I can imagine they’d be pissed off lol but since his comment implies that long, loose textured black hair is more desirable they have no room to get mad
Designer babies are real and plenty of people are choosing to create them to diminish their black features
This is the TRUTH!!! Shannon feeling the need to let everyone know that his daughter hair is real shows he struggles with insecurities and self hate.
I honestly thought with the natural hair movement that black women would wear their natural hair instead of weaves but the natural hair movement is TOXIC!!!! The natural hair movement being categorized by textures (2c,3c 4c) is a major problem because the girls with tight kinky is looked down upon. The ladies with the looser girls gets the sponsors and brand deals. It’s also unfortunate that the negative comments are from the black community.
Overall it’s a sad topic but it’s reality and hopefully we as a community can resolve this problem. Great video 🔥
Right
After I had my son, his family on his father's side made a comment about his eyes saying they would get lighter in time. What is wrong with his beautiful dark brown eyes?? The self hate is so deep in us that we can't even see how we pass it from generation to generation.
I notice BM are more into what’s going on with BW hair then BW. Example my grandfather had nothing but negative things to say when I locd my hair
Same here!
When I started wearing a TWA, my dad was my harshest critic.
He said no man would date a woman with hair as short as mine.. I laughed, hugged him & changed the subject!
I knew a Grandma who has 3 hair. Her great granddaughter has afro hair. We took her to the store and a blk cashier said "I love her hair!" The girl had 2 afro puffs. The GM said laughing" I hate it!"
I told the girl her hair is beautiful and don't let nobody tell you differently.
Just thinking about how I only know ONE dark skin BM who has a dark skin significant other.
I can’t say my experience isn’t that much different, the black males I know from America all have non black women, or have only dated such, and expressed attraction towards non black. The ones from the Caribbean would harp on about “lightskin” and trio over themselves when seeing a non black woman on campus. And in group chats it’s all they would ever talk about. Being surprised by black people in a predominantly black country and all you can fantasize about is non black women? Something is seriously wrong. I can only say 2 that I know of have a black woman. And one of them, talking about other races constantly where she can’t see.
@@Criticalnin Exactly. There’s something very disturbing about the intention behind their “preference”, and how common it is across nationalities.
I have natural 3c hair that historically grew pretty long. I’ll admit that I have always received positive feedback for it. I’ve been recently dealing with some serious medically related hair loss and started wearing wigs. it’s been tough hearing all this negative feedback about hair pieces when people have no idea what women are going through or their motivations
You’re sooooo stunning and blossoming I am so thankful for your continued presence and spoken truth
The sad part about texturism is it will really mess you up and make you want to make your hair as unnoticeable as possible, so you constantly have to do undo the brainwashing. As black women we get different treatment with different hair styles. I noticed when my Afro is out out with no curl definer is when I get the worse treatment specifically from everyone. My mother does not wear her hair out at all and she from the gen x generation where it was perm and hot combs right after like 🥴
Very true
Gen X here and you are spot on.
Gen X here and you are right. I wear my hair natural but still struggle with loving myself with kinky hair to this day and it's been 11 years since I went natural.
Hi , I am a 55 years old African
from ivory cost , been in USA for over 30 years , have children here older than you , you are a treasure !! Keep up with the good work , you are gorgeous 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Girl. All of this. There is a reason so many of them keep their hair very low. Sad. And when men fawn over the length and texture of their daughter’s hair, it comes off as creepy.
It is creepy. Many of them fetishize their mixed daughters and see their mixed sons as competition...but that's a conversation they'll never be ready to have.👀
Twenty years ago I worked for a dark-skinned Indian man, we were the same color but his hair was pin straight. One day I overheard him and his wife argue over the phone and to insult him she called him blackie! Turns out she married him for money, he married her to lighten his offspring. Year later I dated a beautiful Indian banker and when we went by my Indian friend's shop she was so surprised she couldn't speak. That a very light, successful Indian man would openly date a dark woman, indeed a black dark woman was right up there with a virgin birth apparently. We broke up as he was a bit more ready to get serious than I was but the reactions by Indians in NYC was entertaining AF! I am now married to a German/English guy and all my friends were pushing for the babies as they would be mixed and so more "desirable", to bad so sad I opted for cats instead.
Cats! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I’m a blk woman married to an Indian man as well. The looks from Indian women are crazy. We also didn’t have kids. We have a cat and a dog instead 😊 they both have “good fur!” Lol
After reading your experienceI couldn't help but ponder as to where your self-acceptance was because it seems that you are choosing people that do not look like you and expecting them to appreciate who you are when there's no history of that ever really truly happening on the deepest level so where are you on your own self-acceptance that might be a question I know it is for me after reading this.
@@aliciamaria2730
India(ns) and colourism is like a fish taking to water.
Did you see Yung Miami say she’s tired of wigs but called her natural hair crunchy, I hate it here 😒
I don’t see an issue with that. I didn’t see the full thing so I will only judge the context you gave. Giving descriptions isn’t always hatred my natural hair is wooly in some areas and crunchy and?
Girl it’s texturism but go off, she’s on a platform with her millions of followers calling her hair crunchy, knowing that she’s equating it to “bad hair” let’s be so fr and see the nuance
@@kamiahollykh that’s like saying if I call it ghetto I’m calling it black, you’re equating crunchy with bad because you have a negative association with it. It’s just descriptive. We don’t have to use all sugar coated “nice” words to describe Afro textured or natural hair in order for it to be politically correct or acceptable.
@@TamTam9-15her hair being “crunchy” does not mean all hair that is her hair type is crunchy. Crunchy is not “descriptive” of type 4 hair. Tightly curled, easier to break, requires more oil, prone to tangle more than straight hair (of course curly/coily hair tangles more….it’s curly). Anyone can have coarse hair. I know white people with “coarse” hair. My hair is 4c or 4b i do not know since people tell me my hair is not 4c…but either way based on the 4c hair i have styled and the hair i have is always soft and fluffy. Everyone hair feels “dry” when it literally is dry lol.
Crunchy? That sounds like a personal problem. If she doesn't know how to moisturize her hair, she needs to just say that. I wish black people would just admit that they don't know how to do their hair instead of blaming the hair itself. The hair is not the problem, their lack of knowledge is.
Not up lifting an entire group of men but my experience is that white men who date BW don’t generally care either way about hair or features of their children. I’m convinced bm typically date out date for designer children.
@@Mom-mp7fo that’s why I said generally I can’t give 100% answered no one can. I’m married to white man and he has never commented on the texture of our daughter’s hair or mine. Just the color. Does my anecdotal account negate your great grandfather’s feelings? No not at all.
@@TamTam9-15i am married to one too and Can agree, they don’t care as much as the men in our community. And it makes me SICK that this is the reality but it is.
He thinks I’m beautiful with a shrunken 4c fro and any other style. He truly doesn’t care and neither of us fantasizes about how non-Black our kid will look lol or loose curls etc. we talk about the values we want to instill in our kids.
And it’s facts. When I see BW they tend to have natural hair more often than BW with BM. 🤷🏾♀️😬
There shouldn’t be a world where a BW can be more comfortable in her natural beauty with a WM than a BM but here we are. 🤦🏾♀️
@@jayyy735girl… alll that isn’t just a coincidence. Self explanatory really, don’t even need to say more 😂
They care. And dating them or any nonblack men is a no-no.
@@Mom-mp7fo they absolutely do. If Meghan were like Tia or Tamera there's no way Harry wld have married her.
This is only tangentially related to your point, but a friend and I were just having this conversation about how odd it is that Black footballers form Brazil- a country that, outside of Africa, has the largest population of people of African descent and a significant population of people of mixed race- only date and marry blonde Brazilian women. My friend came to the same conclusion that you did: that many are trying to erase the part of themselves that they hate.
Its sad that we as black people hate the very gifts that make us so special, unique, and talented. We got that ugly duckling syndrome. We've been called ugly for so long, now we see we are a majestic swan but we just want to be a duck.
I just made a comment about a Brazilian painting called Redemption of Cain(1895) showing a Black grandma celebrating that her (implied) biracial child met a white man and they have a basically white passing child. In Brazil it was explicitly promoted to “lighten the race”, and this whitening process was a sign of social mobility. Different set of racial politics than the US, but same old White supremacy and internalized anti-Blackness
@@aviianna The desire to "whiten" the population was popular throughout Latin America. The casta paintings are clear examples of whitening as a sign of social mobility, as you stated.
the thing is, they only act this way with women, and their daughters. They want their daughters to marry men that look like them. Not a blonde hair blue eyed male. They are often the ones to harp on too about the black race being erased when black women date out but they are the ones who do it the most.
@@Romancefantasyunfit duckling syndrome is the perfect way to call it.
Listen, your facial expressions throughout this entire video is SENDING. ME. LOLOL All of it FACTS! Some Black people want to have mixed kids then pretend that they're not mixed, that they're Black. It's so odd, the hatred of self.
I think only praising your daughter for features she has that you find attractive is linked to how a lot of men can only view women as potential partners. it doesn't matter to them if a woman has a fulfilling life and accomplished many things, if she's not desirable to them, she's worthless. I see this all the time in the comments of women making tattoo content, there are swarms of men saying things like "how dare you mark your skin, you are now unattractive to me so you never should've done it, you're gross now" and this is a stranger. a random person you will never meet. why does it matter if they're attractive to you, you will never have the opportunity to have them as your partner. yet they rant and rage anyway about how they've "ruined their bodies" because to them all women are is potential wives or girlfriends or hook ups. they're not friends, teachers, acquaintances, coworkers, leaders, none of that. they don't view women as people. so when their daughters have attractive features, they're proud of themselves for producing good relationship material for other men.
I love your outfit today! the headscarf and royal blue remind me of renaissance paintings of the virgin mary. it's very regal, and the jewellery brings it together so well.
Good point. I noticed that too. Men treat women based on looks/attraction level. It's sad. And the reason why many women go to extreme lengths to enhance their looks just to feel validation from men.
This @they're proud of themselves for producing good relationship material for other men.
THIS.
Men don't treat women they're aren't attracted to with common decency and barely like human beings.
very well spoken
I agree 1,000% with this video and its contents.
What’s crazy about Black people who are so proud of and flaunt their bi-racial kids because of their skin color or hair texture, is they don’t stop to think that the features they’re glorifying don’t even come from THEM! Talk about the epitome of self-hatred. 😢
Wow, so true. You brought a nuance I couldn't quite put into words. Thanks!
yup 100%. When you say it this loud and clear to them though they start to stutter and shut down. They don’t want to recognize and acknowledge the self hate and internalized anti-blackness that they have within them. Call it out in clear words then they get defensive and angry.
@@Criticalnin: True. And we need to get away from the self-blame. It is now our responsibility to come together, educate ourselves, and gain understanding.
My daughter has two black parents. She was born with bone straight hair and looked mixed.
When people saw her photos they have literally said that people die for her hair. I said if people are dying for her hair them they have a lot of problems and hair isnt one of them.
That always stopped them in their tracks.
Her hair grew into 3c 4a and the steands are.fine.
She doesnt wear it out because doesnt like the attention.
My hair is Predominately 4a with 4b sprinkled in. The way men act cookoo over my hair is bizarre.
Ive liteally been asked by grown black men what i do to get my hair like this.
I freaking hate it and find them so weird.
Look at safaree fawnwd over ericas hair.
He looked like he wanted to scalp her.
Omg so disturbing 😢 And I definitely get those “I should scalp her” looks when I wear my hair defined🤦🏽♀️
I have 4a hair type too and I’m a dark skin black woman. Guess I would really shock them
Protect your daughter… seriously. They act like this till they get pass that honeymoon stage and when it settles in that she is a black woman then they will treat her like the rest. I hope you educate her on appreciation vs fetishizing. I remember a black man walking up to my mom going on about how much he hates them black dark women.. he’s dark skin, my mom is medium brown skin…. These are the only race of men that act this way. Idc what anyone says about white people and racism. These men are the loudest about skin colour and hair texture than any other race of man.
@@Criticalninfacts
No full west african black person has bone straight hair🙄 you need to acknowledge your daughter's non black ancestors and stop the cap.
You are so spot on about this. My brothers are like this. One brother married a Turkish chic and had a son. When I had my son, he called him nappy head... and I blew up. He had always made suspect comments like mixing is the solution or other women (nonBlack) are more feminine. We do not have a relationship and I don't want him around my son because I don't want him to pass that ideology on to him. My mom doesn't understand either. I encourage my son to embrace his and others' Blackness. Cause all that other rara is some sick ish. In trying to break generational curses and they don't get it.
I have 3c hair texture, and it is NOT an accomplishment or even an affirmative sign of mixed parentage, of which I am not. Or anyone else that i know with 3c hair. Ive been loc'd for the past 22 years and the comments that Ive received from Black men particularly are disturbing.People kill me with this "good hair/bad hair" mentality. Texturism and Featurism are REAL.
❤❤❤❤❤
You said everything that needed saying period. We as a community really need to grapple with our internalized anti blackness and self-loathing if we're ever going to get free and
recognize just how much of the prototype we are! Love your eye shadow by the way ❤
2:02 You spoke a word! My hair is natural but I remember when it was relaxed or whenever I wore a weave, men would tell me I needed to be natural (even though their actions often favored straight or Eurocentric hair). I would reply encouraging them to wear or grow out their own natural hair. They seemed surprised.
Most of them will never skip a hair cut and they constantly wore du rags to “make waves.” Just look at how Jay-Z is talked down on by both black men and women for wearing his natural hair texture.
They simply don't love the way they look (aka self haters), that's why a lot of them be hoping and praying that their child/children would mainly look like the non black/white parent instead of themselves (especially if it's a girl). None of these texturist/colorist BM surprises me anymore, sadly at this point it's expected
Baffles me people don’t feel embarrassed saying things like this, just pure self-hatred and ignorance.
Yup just like type 4 hair is only praised when it’s bra strap length or longer in its shrinkage state. I will side eye any adult who is happy that their child or any child has “good hair”🤔. The only thing I will care about is that my child is healthy .
I worked with an asian girl who married a blk man. They had a daughter with kinky afro textured hair. She was disappointed and said "I wish she had my hair" poor child will be going through it.
And yet people mindlessly glorify multiracial relationships…
Well....not one lie was told in this video. Men like Shannon Sharpe hate their own features. So technically he didn't do a good job that non-black/mixed woman did a "good job". Since he didn't want to replicate his own African features in anyway shape or form. SMDH.
So, I wear my hair in 8 twists. This helps keep my fine, low porosity, 4c hair, clumped and less prone to breakage. There are rare times I get something like, "Thanks sistah for wearing your natural". And most times a scrunch face. What usually makes the mood change for me is a mega-watt smile and clean teeth and tongue. * real quick* was going for a cut and had two puffs; came out with straight hair. This guy said in front of a group of guys, " Naw sis, I know you didn't just go put a weave in your head with all that hair you have." Just rolled my eyes and kept walking. I don't have time to explain, sir.
I can honestly say this really is a thing with black and carribbean parents. I have a mixture of fine 3c,4a,4b hair. When I first went natural in early high school, my mom spent day in and day out screaming at me to perm it and her constant disappoval. Once my hair grew to bra strap to mid back length, she then acted like she was an advocate for my hair the whole time. I remember my mom saying , " How she was happy I didn't get my dad's side of the family hair bc its "rough" meaning (4c). She would also encourage me to date hispanics or people outside of my race to bring home " pretty babies". I even remember how ppl would treat my hair almost like a fetish or people would rip out my hair during box braids or whatever from not knowing how to do it in the first place until it became uncomfortable and made me lock my hair.
You hair texture is what curl pattern that is the most dominant
@oncode7735 that doesn't apply to me or anyone else that has multiple textures in their head. Each texture takes up a good portion of my head so there isn't one that's really dominant over the other.
GIRL! CARIBBEAN person here too and I can confirm 100%!! When your hair is short, it’s hell on earth, but long? The attitudes are very different. Don’t forget to mention that some will also refer to the hair as n****ger hair too. My family members would do that quite a lot. When it started reaching mid back that’s when those comments started to dissipate. It’s still present tho especially with the older generation. My Grand mother would put her hands in my hair and rough it about, talking about how hard and rough it was. And that I should “do something” with it. IYKYK!!! My hair did not start growing long until I was old enough to take proactive measures in my hair care. One thing I am appreciative for is that my mother never made me feel like I had to relax my hair. She wanted it to be my choice and not repeat what her mother did to her. Black people need to be like this, I’d say black women are starting to step in that direction but black men? Not at all.
@@EnlightenedGoldenBeauty4b is most dominant amongst (American) black people
@Criticalnin you didn't tell one lie tbh. Just remember your hair is beautiful 😍 and that there wasn't any mistakes when creating you love!
My husband was darkskinned with super wavy hair. Everyone was HOPING AND PRAYING our son had my husbands hair texture. Turns out he has mine and I was happy. My husband loved my hair. It was specifically our parents (his dad and my mom) who were pressed about his hair texture. Dad saying "he's gonna have our hair😏" and my mom going as far as to say his hair texture was "messed up" when it began to change. His dad has wavy hair and my mom refuses to stop perming. I'm noticing that my husband and I had to break many generational curses and its tragic that people refuse to unlearn their biases and prejudices. Especially, against themselves and others like them.
Keep on breaking the cycle! More black people need to wake up and stop perpetuate the hate that black people have for blackness. I wish perming products were outright banned. Black women going bald so they can get looser hair only to just put it in a pony tail. my Grand mother is the same. Will NOT stop perming at her big age! But wears wigs also!! So what’s the point of perming? good grief
Some BM freely mock and discriminate against BW. But let a BW say she prefers WM because BM have issues and you see them all over YT in their feelings and mad as hell. They can’t take it when BW speak the truth about them.
Thank you for this video. Jewish women wear wigs ALL the time. White women in general also wear extensions. Heck look back in time where White men and women wore wigs! Why are we always attacked for wearing extensions etc.? I will never understand
Because we’re black women and the world hates us.
It has to do with slavery that’s why. Everyone judges blk people for everything! Yes they wear hair extensions but the world did a good job sweeping it under rug
What do you expect from Shannon tho? He only date white women. Smh
Gen X here. First off thank you for being you...i absolutely love your content. You're so deeply intelligent and uniquely insightful. Many of y'all who are in the millennial generation have the language that we didn't, to express the truth about ourselves and the world around us.
Her hair definitely isn’t 3c. It’s definitely type 4 hair. It looks like she has a braid out. Her hair is just very healthy so it looks very good. But I agree, black people obsess over loose hair.
When hair is blown out and in a braid out like that, it’s much tougher to differentiate between type 3 and type 4
Yeah. I agree. It looks very well moisturized and healthy, but it looks type 4 to me as well. Just long.
Playing devil’s advocate, but maybe he felt the need to say it’s her hair because it’s long and many non black people still think we can’t grow our hair?
I saw another pic of her. She looks like she has 3C hair
I'm a black woman with 4 c beautiful hair. I would not want it any other way.
It's almost always the black men with the darkest skin making comments like this.
I have 3b hair, and not once has my dad been "proud" of my hair texture. He has been proud of my accomplishments in life. He's also complimented me on my hairstyles and how beautiful I am like most dads would do. This is weird on so many levels.
Right! 3c here and my dad never said 🤬 about my hair!
I have these conversations frequently. Don't you get tired? 😢i know i do 😅. Thank you for your continued pursuit of helping us 4c brown skin women be seen
If BW stop chasing BM validation a lot of the bs would stop. I see so many BW begging BM for love and it's embarrassing. I hope most can heal and move on from the begging, it makes the majority of BW look desperate. At some point as a whole BW need to start seeing through the bs.
It is ashamed that this type of rascism exists in our own community. Btw, My daughter is dark and lovely with 4c hair.
I've come a long way with my hair journey. I've mostly been natural but I've hated my natural hair when growing up bc of the negative reinforcements it garnered.i wore braids so much that people did not know what my real hair looked like. I haven't worn any braided extensions in such a long time that people don't remember that phase n im proud of that fact
When I c little girls with 4c hair I go out of my way to make positive comments on their styles bc I never got that.
Internalized anti-blackness has no damn bottom.
That is why awhile back when the natural hair movement started around 2008ish it was suppose to embrace mostly type 4 hair texture..the texture that was more unacceptable. I noticed the type 2s and 3s got involved and hijacked it to once again take the attention away from type 4s. I already knew when you hear about natural hair or when men say they like natural hair they are really talking about and prefer the type 2 and 3. Moving forward let's specify what we are going to focus and embrace without others interfering to hijack it. I knew it was a matter of time...on social media, I've seen our race embraced the loose curls heavily. If they do embrace the type 4, it better be long.
Well black people want to insist they can be full black and have loose hair like a mixed, white or asian women so they'll keep pushing the loose hair type.
I know this video is specifically about black men so this story may be irrelevant here but I'm fresh off reading a story posted by a grieving mother of twins that has stuck itself in my brain for the past few hours. The mother talked about a lot of things and her story is truly heartwrenching as she tells how one of the twins had a deadly allergy to coconut oil and how the grandmother (mother of the poster) accidentally killed that twin by exposing her to coconut oil while doing the child's hair after being repeatedly told not to. By all accounts, according to the mother of the twins, her mother was a perfect grandmother except for tiny comments she would make about her grandchildren's hair where she would suggest that coconut oil would help a lot to manage the children's "course and textured" hair.
As the mother describes, both her and her husband had pin straight hair and so no one could understand why their twins had such curly, textured hair esp the grandmother. The poster finishes her story by saying how to this day se will never understand what motivated the grandmother to use coconut hair in the girls hair knowing that the child had an allergy to it when she had always been otherwise a perfect grandmother. Just my perspective but after reading that story all I could think was that texturism killed her daughter. That child was only two years old.
The grandmother even confessed that she used the coconut oil in her allergic granddughters hair because she was convinced it would "smooth out" the texture and result in a prettier style. Even though the mother didn't connect her daughter's death and the grandmother's constant focus on the child's textured hair, I really do think that poor child would be alive now if she hadn't been born related to someone who valued her having smooth, loose-textured hair more than she valued her health.
I feel like we tend to treat texturism as a "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me" situation but texturism is very much dangerous and harmful to our girl children as the story above proves.
Tht is disgusting and sick and the grandmother needs to be charged with a crime. No ma'am. You'd rather poison your granddaughter over a texture than use other products? Thts psycho and she should not be anywhere near little blk girls.
I’ve heard of this story before too!! Truly such a sad story 😢
I think we need to push the narrative more that short hair is beautiful too. Biologically there is no reason that hair needs to be long down our backs. You can be a completely healthy person with short hair. Let’s start praising girls with naturally short hair no matter their texture. People’s obsession with long hair is weird to me.
Thank you for all you do. I love your delivery and your voice is 🤌🏾
This hair thing has been going on for centuries. It's not stopping now. It's just more disturbing when we see that celebrities are exactly the same as us.
wow mayowa! thanks for sharing :)
at a family function, my lightskin cousin and his white latina gf were making weird/“appraising” comments on a mixed baby’s hair. as i was holding the baby, i looked up in disgust and shock.
it’s not that looser hair isn’t beautiful, but that it’s beauty can only exist when kinky hair is shitted on.
free your mind and your mf hair!
Mayowa, you look absolutely beautiful today… as always!
I love all of our textures. I'm just glad whenever I see a woman rocking her natural texture no matter what it is. I personally think that whether it's a wash and go or a TWA, a woman always looks better with her own hair than a wig or weave.
Unpopular opinion: Like a lot of black women with long natural hair on the internet, for every 3 'please drop the routine' comment, there is at least 1 "issa wig" comment from the same women in these comments breathlessly saying "nobody asked about her hair." Maybe nobody asked about her hair.... Seems to me he was just trying to get the jump the gun on some of ya'll because you know "tell her to take the wig off, it's too hot for all that" was coming eventually. I used to be in a facebook group for natural hair. The "issa wig" remarks always come.
I really like veil- it's giving Victorian mourning veil goth look with a vampire twist💙🖤 I LOVE it!
Thank you for this commentary. I love how you confront these issues which BW sometimes don’t know how to dissect or speak out about. No surprise - Shannon Sharp has been a raging racist and colorist against BW.
I find texturism very sickening and just weird. I’m over it. My father is Mexican and black/ my mom is white. I have type 4 hair with a very coily/curly pattern
it's nothing but heartbreaking when parents have a crazy obsession with their children turning out a certain way. i am grateful for my mother accepting me and loving me the way i am even if i was surprisingly a girl instead of a boy. if you cannot accept your child no matter how it comes out (whether it be features, skin color, gender and whatever else) then don't. have. kids. they don't deserve a life where they will never be good enough simply because they turned out another way than the parents hoped.
My Dad is like this. Both of my parents are lightskinned multiracial black people. My Dad is more Boris Kodjoe & my mom is like Soledad O'Brien only more pale, with loser hair texture & green/hazel eyes. Anyway, my Dad sees it as a flex that my brothers & I have "good hair". In fact, most people in our family look similar to us. When I was about 15 I had a dark skinned boyfriend & my dad said something like, "I need to watch out because I could have darkskinned kids or something stupid like that". And as much Black History my mom loved to teach us, whenever she called me Black, it was always said with a negative inflection.
That's wild
Hi Mayowa! I love you and your content & I haven’t finished the video yet, but I think he is also fawning over the length too which is an insecurity I’ve developed since I stoped wearing braids 24/7. It seems like everyone who has type 4 hair nowadays has incredibly long hair according to social media. My hair is not super short, but it doesn’t really grow past a certain length and I’ve been fighting insecurity about it. When I think about it, I don’t even truly want super long hair. Too much work to maintain and I’m lazy lol, but I know I’d be seen as more desirable with it.
lol, you read my mind!! my hair isn't short enough to be a twa, but it isn't long either. i used that exact same rationale on myself; "girl, you know yo ass is too lazy to deal with long hair, be grateful for what you got!" eurocentrism makes it so hard to love ourselves at times.. i'm sure your hair is gorgeous btw 🤎🤎
@@Ciaramissygirl thank you girl! I’m sure yours is too. We rlly have to practice gratitude more.
I think you are one of the most beautiful and well spoken women I’ve ever had the pleasure to view. You make me prouder of my hair and skin. I love when you post and I can hear what’s on your mind. Great video. Stay fabulous.🥰🤩💖
I'm from a mixed family. I'm very dark like my dad (like Alek Wek, the model) with 3C hair. People think I'm wearing a wig or have a jheri curl. My daughters have the same curl pattern and also long hair past their butt, but strangers think it's from their father who "must be White." I hear lots of comments like "the father must be White." Black people come in all shades with varying hair textures. It's time we embrace all of it. I'm grateful that my little girls embrace their hair and love wearing their natural hair as I do. They want to wear their hair big like mommy because I wear wash and go styles and don't care what people think. Self-acceptance is crucial to mental health. People need to stop engaging in hair politics. We are human, and God made us the way we're meant to be.
Amen 🙏
I’m Ethiopian with 2b/2c hair and the comments I get from black men in America are crazy too, I wonder if they would have the audacity to talk down on their mothers/ aunts/ sisters the same way they talk down on random black women
One of the first things my dad said when he met both my current and previous partner was “oh wow, now my grandkids will have good hair” because these men had 3c hair. He says it as a “joke” but it hits on something real.
Is it really that hard to teach they're kids to love themselves no matter the skin color complexion, hair texture, features, etc. I'm so glad my dad told me that my kinky hair is beautiful and I shouldn't be ashamed of it. Nothing wrong with wearing hair extensions/certain styles as long I'm not constantly avoiding to wear my real hair out.
Let's not forget that rapper (YG) did a little speech on how he had a "pretty light skinned daughter."" 😂 Like I'm starting to wonder why people want to be attracted to their children?!
Wow. I wrote this before you mentioned it. Great minds think alike.
I love you, young lady. You're brilliant. You look like me (I say it that way because I'm older) so I've experienced life the way you have but it has never occurred to me to think as deeply about this as you do. Thanks for shining your light on this important conversation because I'd have read that silly post and not seen the issue. It's so wrong. Especially with the treatment Shannon got that made him leave his show. This is why your work is so important.
He said that because BLACK WOMEN would 😢questioned is that her REAL HAIR! Wear your own HAIR!!
2:23 i never thought about that before. I've always seen black men have short hair and rarely long but i thought thay was just the trend for men in general. Because men keep their hair short
Every time their hair grows out they wear a hat or durag. I’ve noticed this years ago.
Another reason I don't date BM. They see us (BW) as less beautiful, while they see other women as the pinnacle of beauty or the "end goal." I dont want to be with anyone (BM) who sees me as just "okay." Like no. Other races of males don't make me feel "just okay."
My adopted mother is 75 years old, dark skin, and personally married and had a child with a mixed man. She wanted to make sure her child would be mixed presenting or at least lacked her Afro centric features.
When she adopted me, she only complimented my hair texture (3C/4A). I also noticed she primarily complimented light skinned kids (included babies)/people but would refer to dark skinned people as monkeys or worse.
All of my life I’ve only ever been told that my skin is unacceptable but my hair is my saving grace.
“What are you mixed with?”
Anyway, it took me years and I’m only 25 now to full on accept my hair the way it is.
This is very common I know many DSBW that call other DSBP names and they justify by saying, "Well this is how I was treated..." it's really internalized colorism and racism.
what in the world? Sharpe literally said nothing about her hair texture but just that her hair was real. I didn't even notice her hair texture and I'm 95% 4c. This is either a stretch or reading into it in my opinion. In fact I would say it's your head that textures lives rent free in because how did 'yes that's her real hair' become 'she has good hair' what??
Yeah, black (dark skinned) men do this a lot; they put a lot of focus, and emphasis, on the hair texture, and length, of the woman they are dating (if she's a racial minority). I remember, Tamara Mowery, speaking about this on her reality show a few years ago; she said most black men she dated never wanted her to wear her natural curls and always wanted her to wear her hair straight. I personally think that black men's obsession with hair texture and length stems from their own mothers; a lot of black women (subconsciously) try to mimick that loose curl pattern, or European straightness, and their sons notice; that's why black men think it's a badge of honor to produce children that reflect the hair type that their own mothers chase after. Crazy.
This must be exhausting.... You're beautiful, Mayowa! I love your style.
Thank you for being a beautiful natural hair BW who talks on these subjects in such a respectful and eloquent way. Even when talking about weaves and perms, you talk about it with compassion and understanding. And you don't judge and are not trying to force your ways on anyone. You let people do what they wanna do. I really respect that in you. 💜
Sad this is an issue in our community, ppl tells my i have good hair. I keep my hair braide and wear wigs sometimes because i get tired of combing it. But it trips me out how black ppl hate nappy hair. Sharpe needs to stop if it was for his Money a woman wouldnt look twice at him
You continue to be amazing in your activism Mayowa 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾