#276

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 1.4K

  • @TimDillonShow
    @TimDillonShow  3 ปีที่แล้ว +224

    Go fund me link for Nick: gofund.me/ceca307e

    • @mateoramirez9003
      @mateoramirez9003 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Are you going to make a masterclass?

    • @redfan1596
      @redfan1596 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Cmon

    • @redfan1596
      @redfan1596 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      I'm a huge fan of Tim.... but 99% of his income is from Patreon and he can do that anywhere. He chooses to move back to Lala land why? Gay boys galore? Just be honest Tim

    • @just1689
      @just1689 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      Isn't having a business basically illegal in California?

    • @mikenolan3060
      @mikenolan3060 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Tim fella I'm more then happy to donate money for this good cause but only if you come donate your time to come mow my lawn.

  • @nates2380
    @nates2380 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1937

    The 2 day delay is just because Tim and Ray had to take the stairs to their hotel room

    • @ryancollier6394
      @ryancollier6394 3 ปีที่แล้ว +73

      Ray dropped a tater tot down the stairwell

    • @TimMedvedev
      @TimMedvedev 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Chad Ray Kump vs Virgin George Mallory

    • @ShatterNWO
      @ShatterNWO 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      if they were firefighters on 911, the casualties triple.

    • @donaldmack2307
      @donaldmack2307 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Fat shaming is unacceptable in the Brandon administration.

    • @thephilosopher7173
      @thephilosopher7173 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Taking the stairs involves walking, and walking is anti-fat activism.

  • @charlesmurray257
    @charlesmurray257 3 ปีที่แล้ว +330

    Can’t wait to take Tim’s "9/11, a closer look" course at The University of Austin

  • @arttorres439
    @arttorres439 3 ปีที่แล้ว +879

    Can’t wait to take Tim’s Fake Business course at The University of Austin

    • @SickTroll
      @SickTroll 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      LFG!!

    • @dickbiggerjr3613
      @dickbiggerjr3613 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      You get a real diploma for a fake business 💯

    • @topdhen
      @topdhen 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      T.I.T.S

    • @futurereflections4097
      @futurereflections4097 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      UoA is expensive. I’m taking my undergrad at Prager U and then going to UoA for my doctorate in basedology

    • @GoblinGuard
      @GoblinGuard 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@futurereflections4097 a true man of culture I see 🧐

  • @AmyCat71
    @AmyCat71 3 ปีที่แล้ว +141

    Tim is the best when his true muse Ray is around. When Tim laughs with Ray it's 100% legit and all is right with the world.

    • @benjaminharles664
      @benjaminharles664 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Tim legit cracking up is my favorite thing ever

    • @colematthews7535
      @colematthews7535 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I miss the old days when ray was on every show. I hope tim brings him back more frequently he’s a staple in the show

    • @tapetrader2590
      @tapetrader2590 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Two buds cracking up …

    • @yuriar2
      @yuriar2 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This one had me crying

  • @stevemygoodman7809
    @stevemygoodman7809 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1290

    Ray is still alive. Good for him

    • @nativekydgaming1644
      @nativekydgaming1644 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      I’m glad the Delta didn’t get him before a heart attack lol

    • @raramcgee4982
      @raramcgee4982 3 ปีที่แล้ว +30

      He has a legit really solid podcast. Kump cast.

    • @Ynotnow9900
      @Ynotnow9900 3 ปีที่แล้ว +79

      Listen to his kumpcast. Or I'll kill myself on your front lawn

    • @cuve_ae
      @cuve_ae 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      KumpCast

    • @SickTroll
      @SickTroll 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@Ynotnow9900 good man.

  • @krissykatportal
    @krissykatportal 3 ปีที่แล้ว +158

    I’m gonna buy the underwear Tim. Only because I love how the owner doesn’t mind you going so hard on him with the jokes 😂

  • @NATASHA-tp7ww
    @NATASHA-tp7ww 3 ปีที่แล้ว +211

    THE LONGEST 9 DAYS EVER! Never been happier for a Monday to come

    • @johndenver7035
      @johndenver7035 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      What u cooking?

    • @NATASHA-tp7ww
      @NATASHA-tp7ww 3 ปีที่แล้ว +24

      @@johndenver7035 today pineapple shrimp bowls and tomorrow jerk chicken and rice and peas

    • @johndenver7035
      @johndenver7035 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@NATASHA-tp7ww sounds good, got a recipe for the jerk chicken? Maybe my wife and I will try it tomorrow.

    • @achnix3167
      @achnix3167 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      For THIS bullshit?

    • @paulgreengod
      @paulgreengod 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I thought only cis white men watched this show.

  • @Sprite_525
    @Sprite_525 3 ปีที่แล้ว +404

    *Ray* : “Your hat sucks”
    *Tim* : “it was a _gift_ !”
    *Ray* : “it’s a _nice gift_ !”

    • @Maximustard
      @Maximustard 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Sounds like the kind of hat, that I would gift someone, I give terrible hats, not on purpose

    • @MikeOcksmallClips
      @MikeOcksmallClips 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@Maximustard terrible hats are in fashion ironically pretty much always, so great gift.

    • @blobbylee9430
      @blobbylee9430 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I wonder if he's talking about the full send hat. Aren't those dude rich, why are they giving Timothy substandard Alabama gas station quality?

    • @xmidge3851
      @xmidge3851 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@blobbylee9430 yeah it's definitely that green hat from nelk.

  • @kneelanb1
    @kneelanb1 3 ปีที่แล้ว +217

    Ray yelling back at Tim is like Ben’s inner monologue come to life. “I’m TRYING to find it!!! Why would I follow Bari Weiss, what’s there to FOLLOW?!”

    • @BlackSmith863
      @BlackSmith863 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Rays got the physicality to compete

    • @guccimane623
      @guccimane623 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Ray is an integral part the funny dynamic between the two. He’s Dillons only intellectual equal while also making him laugh , and it made for awesome broadcasts when they were together at GAS digital radio. (Which you can find them all on Tim’s patreon) highly recommended

    • @DeflatingAtheism
      @DeflatingAtheism 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@guccimane623 Devan Costa had some genuinely funny bits that he would have to spit out in the 1.5 seconds Tim would allow him.

  • @FlippyHambone
    @FlippyHambone 3 ปีที่แล้ว +297

    Tim thinks he can just throw on glasses and we won’t recognize he’s the Facebook whistleblower.

    • @TaddiestMason
      @TaddiestMason 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Superman gets away with it to be Clark Kent, so....

    • @username-tv6uw
      @username-tv6uw 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Life in the big city.

    • @zeewhat
      @zeewhat 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      oh!

    • @Virsaci
      @Virsaci 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Now I need a Tim Dillon skit of this.

  • @ahoffstein
    @ahoffstein 3 ปีที่แล้ว +285

    Ray sounds like he has five cheeseburgers in his esophagus

    • @lh4755
      @lh4755 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      🤣🤣That’s exactly how Ray always sounds.

    • @funnydonor9484
      @funnydonor9484 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      You can actually carbon date his exact age by finding what is stuck in his throat at the lowest point. I think there’s a mummified quiche near the opening of his stomach

    • @saucenflow
      @saucenflow 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      15 cheeseburger's in that meat locker np

    • @OutlierConcepts
      @OutlierConcepts 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      thats because he actually has 6 in there...

    • @tmuthafreakingpain
      @tmuthafreakingpain 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sure... sounds like...

  • @ComanderMelon
    @ComanderMelon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    The amount of times I have heard Tim say “we have a new studio being built” over the years is insane 😂😂

    • @zeewhat
      @zeewhat 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      true it is always a Marriot Hotel room with a well stocked mini-bar, although I don't know if Tim drinks. Business Insider is now a joke because they used to be great and now they got bought out and they are part of the Corporate Shill game!

    • @DanielCC
      @DanielCC 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      That is his fake ptoject

  • @infinite9100
    @infinite9100 3 ปีที่แล้ว +90

    Ray’s not having a stroke, his mouth is just confused about why he’s using it to speak and not consume

  • @FamousActor_AlPacenis
    @FamousActor_AlPacenis 3 ปีที่แล้ว +501

    Ray sounds like he’s chewing on his words while he’s speaking them.

    • @lordhenrix1510
      @lordhenrix1510 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Mad funny. Very good description.

    • @lordhenrix1510
      @lordhenrix1510 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @ 33:17 he does this as I left the last comment 😂

    • @ohthaterin
      @ohthaterin 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I was listening to this on Spotify and came over to youtube within 15mins to read comments about Rays voice. this was perfect

    • @RoxanneJ
      @RoxanneJ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes he’s so awesome 😂😂😂

    • @connorknight4275
      @connorknight4275 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Forever at the end of his breath

  • @caproductivity8463
    @caproductivity8463 3 ปีที่แล้ว +254

    how dare ben not be there to fulfil his role as a built in laugh track

    • @Bedtimesful
      @Bedtimesful 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      Lmfao bens laugh literally brings as much value as any joke tim has ever told 😂🤣

    • @Zgembo121
      @Zgembo121 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I miss Ben.

    • @tyrelltyler1430
      @tyrelltyler1430 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      😭😭

    • @tyrelltyler1430
      @tyrelltyler1430 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I think Tim must've beat him & locked him in his basement - the basement in his Austin residence - funnily enough - ONLY two blocks away from The University Of Austin

    • @LuisCarruthers
      @LuisCarruthers 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ben is by no means a Stavros Halkias.

  • @iwishihadmoreeminems
    @iwishihadmoreeminems 3 ปีที่แล้ว +186

    Ray: “I was trying to reference Goebbels”
    Tim: “Do that on your own please”

    • @customerguy8581
      @customerguy8581 3 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      "On the show that gets 3,000 listens" lmao

    • @andrewoliver5634
      @andrewoliver5634 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@customerguy8581 5 to 8

  • @conorflynn1691
    @conorflynn1691 3 ปีที่แล้ว +302

    Ray’s stutters are pieces of Ben’s corpse getting caught in his teeth.

    • @tnntlmmn277
      @tnntlmmn277 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      jesus christ dude

    • @moriyokiri3229
      @moriyokiri3229 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      so edgy and funny wow

    • @conorflynn1691
      @conorflynn1691 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Acclimate people, learn what a joke is.

    • @nickeq42
      @nickeq42 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Ray just wanted to one up travis scott

    • @rktsnail
      @rktsnail 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hahahah

  • @CERBERUS1O8
    @CERBERUS1O8 3 ปีที่แล้ว +77

    I hope someday Ray writes an autobiography and titles it "mein Kump"

    • @AgnumMD
      @AgnumMD 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      His podcast episode titles generally use a format like that. He actually missed, or rejected, a good opportunity to use that on one where he talked about reading Mein Kompf on the subway.

  • @jakeg313
    @jakeg313 3 ปีที่แล้ว +60

    Ben's wife: "Give him this plastic bag of Legos. He'll think it's candy and choke."

  • @conorflynn1691
    @conorflynn1691 3 ปีที่แล้ว +97

    My thoughts and prayers go out to the friends and family of Ben Avery. He was brutally murdered and consumed by Tim Dillon and Ray Kump, a couple of comedians who really needed a carb.

    • @varunramanathan8346
      @varunramanathan8346 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Ben's almost 100% lean protein.

    • @eno6712
      @eno6712 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@varunramanathan8346 but hes a Sweetie

    • @bigarsehole4935
      @bigarsehole4935 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Squished at the Travis Scott concert

    • @ccamen
      @ccamen 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I wouldn't call Ray a comedian. It's insulting to real comics.

    • @quidnick
      @quidnick 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ben was turned into a new MagicSpoon flavor.

  • @noru_ego
    @noru_ego 3 ปีที่แล้ว +113

    I can't listen to these without being able to see Tim lying over that chair like a sea lion with glasses

    • @Maximustard
      @Maximustard 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I like to think that he’s naked on the top bunk

    • @zeewhat
      @zeewhat 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      haha

  • @tyrelltyler1430
    @tyrelltyler1430 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    "It didn't even dawn on me that there would be money exchanged"
    😂🤣

  • @brentbarrus9754
    @brentbarrus9754 3 ปีที่แล้ว +154

    Ray must've eaten Ben.

    • @SickTroll
      @SickTroll 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      It’s nothing new, probably.

    • @SickTroll
      @SickTroll 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @M J are you that b itch from the hotel ?

    • @josephdemarzio3186
      @josephdemarzio3186 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Ah fuck

    • @SickTroll
      @SickTroll 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Johan Liebert you obviously are a casual if you don’t get the joke. I’m praying you become a regular.

  • @Foulfootwear
    @Foulfootwear 3 ปีที่แล้ว +81

    At first I was disappointed by the audio only pod, but it's not really a bid deal; Ray's voice illustrates his girth perfectly

    • @zeewhat
      @zeewhat 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes

  • @Mamaawolf
    @Mamaawolf 3 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    Ray sounds like a kitchen aid mixer churning yogurt

    • @drewblood3530
      @drewblood3530 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      this made my day

    • @zironemegeaz
      @zironemegeaz 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      So you make alot of yogurt?

  • @qwerty6574
    @qwerty6574 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    "I want 6 months to get in shape, then we can fight the government"
    Lol

  • @AroundtheTubeNews
    @AroundtheTubeNews 3 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    Ray saying he's "the biggest candidate of regret" might be the most brutal self roast of all time lmao fucking died when I heard that

    • @HelloSpyMyLie
      @HelloSpyMyLie 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      That was insane

    • @HelloSpyMyLie
      @HelloSpyMyLie 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Glad he has a friend like Tim ❤️

  • @hlulanizitha9920
    @hlulanizitha9920 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Ray kump just described the path I'm on in life; grandiose ideas without the pragmatic attitude needed to realise those goals.

    • @Eblis840
      @Eblis840 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Raymond Kumpf is mastering his pranayama/fire breathe, albiet in his case he doesn't breath and asphyxiates in a continuous cycle.
      There's the Wimm Hof method, then there's the Raymond Kumpf method...
      Needless to say he tweaked the technique but it produces similar results.

    • @Eblis840
      @Eblis840 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      It's not that you're without, it's that you're not within! The path of least resistance is the most pragmatic approach in my case, less I become a beast of burden...
      Now send me some cash like Buddha so I don't have to work too hard.

    • @hlulanizitha9920
      @hlulanizitha9920 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@Eblis840 Always wondered why he breathed like that, he must have at this point achieved the type of enlightenment that guru's can only dream of.

  • @kim-jong-poon
    @kim-jong-poon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    We finally get an episode with big beautiful Ray Kump and it's audio only??? I need to see the Kump!

  • @forey121
    @forey121 3 ปีที่แล้ว +71

    Ray always subconsciously makes Tim slip “per se” into his own sentences

    • @ljcomments886
      @ljcomments886 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You gotta be careful around Ray! Tim knows he will tear him apart

  • @Tesstamona
    @Tesstamona 3 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    Immediately thought this title was referencing Astroworld

    • @josehg570
      @josehg570 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Me too lol

    • @boot2themoon
      @boot2themoon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Samesies. Horrible.

    • @ShatterNWO
      @ShatterNWO 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      our thoughts are with all of the victims...especially Kylie

    • @ZAY________
      @ZAY________ 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      SAME

    • @MTB_mami
      @MTB_mami 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Saaaaaame

  • @glassmemory993
    @glassmemory993 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    The part at the end when they talk about “the squish…” Holy shit I could not stop laughing. I actually feel emotionally and physically lighter after laughing that hard. thanks guys.

    • @ricardonavarro4889
      @ricardonavarro4889 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hands down the best part of the whole cast lol

  • @g1amp1re
    @g1amp1re 3 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Tim & Ray 😆 this was worth the wait!

    • @SickTroll
      @SickTroll 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Aside from the heroin like withdrawals.

    • @deadliestvice5356
      @deadliestvice5356 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      *weight

  • @JM-wt5wn
    @JM-wt5wn 3 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    I love Tim in the most heterosexual/homosexual way

    • @zeewhat
      @zeewhat 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      If I was gay Tim would be my first date choice

    • @Troonielicious
      @Troonielicious 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Tim is the 8th wonder

  • @justinbaker84
    @justinbaker84 3 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    I demand my free entertainment in a more timely fashion!

    • @Booyawatchin
      @Booyawatchin 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      SAME

    • @TrevorScanlan
      @TrevorScanlan 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I would like it before I even know I want it! I'm tired of this shit, Tim!

  • @ericbontheweb
    @ericbontheweb 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Im honestly impressed that every time Ray comes on the show it legitimately gets harder to understand him. His consistency is staggering

  • @jaw0608
    @jaw0608 3 ปีที่แล้ว +35

    When Ray begins speaking, it sounds like a Merrie Melodies character scrambling to start running away from something.

  • @Riomojo
    @Riomojo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    You were absolutely great Saturday night!! Thank you so much for coming!!

  • @seannagel8718
    @seannagel8718 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    As a professor at the university of Austin, my subjects will be sent on a journey for truth about building 7. Just like Everest, some die along the way.

  • @riledmouse4677
    @riledmouse4677 3 ปีที่แล้ว +32

    I need Tim to begin a Q&A advice podcast. I have issues that require his cutting perspective, and I’m convinced there is a large audience willing to pay hundreds per response. Surely he’s money-hungry enough for this to be a viable plan. Yes or yes?

    • @roymakescomics
      @roymakescomics 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He did an episode or 2 like that on the patreon. Time to put your money where your mouth is.

    • @riledmouse4677
      @riledmouse4677 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@roymakescomics you’re completely right. Will do. Thank you.

    • @rawr4444
      @rawr4444 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes, please.

  • @masonseymour2455
    @masonseymour2455 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Thank god for the slop. Also audio only episodes are also always bangers

  • @Riomojo
    @Riomojo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    There’s nothing better in life than watching animal nature docs while listening to these two converse

    • @BlazRa
      @BlazRa 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That would make for a pretty funny video just show a compilation of like hippopotamuses and elephants and elephant seals and fat dogs set to Ray and Tim talking

    • @hennythingispossible11
      @hennythingispossible11 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      lol im gonna try that

    • @Riomojo
      @Riomojo 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@BlazRa genius, their spirit animals

    • @jamieure3870
      @jamieure3870 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bats

  • @tyrelltyler1430
    @tyrelltyler1430 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Pfizer: "Shut-the-door"
    😂🤣😭

  • @austinkuipers6087
    @austinkuipers6087 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    -Two days late with our free stuff
    -announces monday is the new day... on tuesday
    -announces video episodes after months of frequent video episodes, on an audio episode
    But I don't care about all those things, I'm just giddy Tim and Ray are still alive.

  • @N_A__
    @N_A__ 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    This guy sounds like somebody is holding Bert Kreischer's tongue.

  • @lukewojdylo9241
    @lukewojdylo9241 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    I remember when "blue hairs" was a derogatory term for 70 year old women with small town perms. Then Sharon Osbourne showed up and everything changed.

  • @chickennuggetscoon6900
    @chickennuggetscoon6900 3 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    Love Ray's gurgling watery voice

    • @nickyjames1985
      @nickyjames1985 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Rhlisten ta me!

    • @Niekomojo
      @Niekomojo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      He’s drowning in his own fat.

    • @olgagrinko4511
      @olgagrinko4511 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Reminds me of Lee Syatt a little

  • @boot2themoon
    @boot2themoon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Shows with Ray are top tier. 🤗

  • @brentbarrus9754
    @brentbarrus9754 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    The hairdryer was hovering over my bath until my phone dinged. Stop toying with me.

    • @stewybrooks
      @stewybrooks 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You hair dry your hair?

    • @brentbarrus9754
      @brentbarrus9754 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@stewybrooks Ask the battle-axe

    • @dimftillon
      @dimftillon 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@stewybrooks Stay tuned next week to find out if a toaster toasts.

  • @tyrelltyler1430
    @tyrelltyler1430 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "Guess who we have here behind this door - it's Joe Clarke"
    😂🤣😭💀

  • @kristinradams7109
    @kristinradams7109 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    There you are, Tim! I've missed you and Ben both very much over the weekend, but you are always worth the wait. Much love from Texas :)

    • @FamousActor_AlPacenis
      @FamousActor_AlPacenis 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      ☠️☠️☠️🔪🔪🔪Hey chill with the stalker energy white lady! He’s a gay anyway he won’t father your children. Never…I mean ever no matter how many sweet weird comments you make on his TH-cam page as if it were a DM he’s going to see. Next time you think about commenting keep in line with that Texas lifestyle and abort that idea.

    • @mika274
      @mika274 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@FamousActor_AlPacenis be kind man. We don't know who she is

    • @FamousActor_AlPacenis
      @FamousActor_AlPacenis 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@mika274 Sorry Mom I didn’t mean to upset your company. I was just joshing her. You’re right idk who she is. The wildest part is idk who you are either. So I must assume you’re Mossad agents working in tandem to take down an American treasure and Ben. You almost had me there for a second guy. Once I realized you were working together I thought “Boy that’s quite sneaky of them. What type of people are that sneaky and conniving?” Obviously that quickly brought me to where are now. Please just don’t take Tim from us. Who will warn us of impending doom??? Could we possibly sacrifice Ben Shapiro, Russel Brand, and Jordan Peterson as tribute? Will that satisfy your curly headed overlords? Whatever your bosses are paying we’ll double it. That’s so many shekels. You could stay here in the USA and have Chinese food forever. Or whenever you want to go home just head to Sheik Jarrah and find yourself a nice Palestinian home to settle in.

  • @thegooddoctordeep
    @thegooddoctordeep 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    "I think they were on-duty prostitutes." Quote of the episode.

  • @jewelsbypodcasterganesh
    @jewelsbypodcasterganesh 3 ปีที่แล้ว +51

    If a person has teeth Ray thinks they're showing off

  • @DustedVeins
    @DustedVeins 3 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    Nobody else seems to be able to make Tim laugh quite like Ray Kump can. I hope he's on many more podcasts, and that Tim also does Ray's sometimes.

    • @joshwhite5407
      @joshwhite5407 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      There's plenty of kump in the archives

  • @tyrelltyler1430
    @tyrelltyler1430 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    "You're worried more about a rash - rather than getting in shape"
    😭😭☠

    • @Eblis840
      @Eblis840 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      That's why he's on the show and is his best friend! but all the Ray haters don't get it, they're beta cucks....

    • @tyrelltyler1430
      @tyrelltyler1430 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Eblis840 Show what? who's his best friend?
      The rash or the shape????

  • @lizzylou2290
    @lizzylou2290 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    You make me feel like a desperate, needy girlfriend waiting for you to show up on Saturday night. Then when you finally do show up I can't even be mad cause I'm just so freaking happy to see (hear) you.

  • @MichaelTheChairman
    @MichaelTheChairman 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    *_Tim should be a professor for Fake Business at the University of Austin!_* 📈💰📈

    • @Zgembo121
      @Zgembo121 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes and yes

  • @dragonblazzer9698
    @dragonblazzer9698 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    The Sheath Underwear ads always brighten up my week.

  • @Mrkevi123
    @Mrkevi123 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    Ray "I broke my Tooth in a bean burrito" Kump

    • @ShatterNWO
      @ShatterNWO 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I think bean burrito was a code word in pizsa g@te.

  • @ZedofZardoz
    @ZedofZardoz 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    "It's funny because it's true" and Tim is the funniest. This podcast leaves you with the feeling that you might get from staring into each face at the morgue. I never miss an episode!

  • @carpeimodiem
    @carpeimodiem 3 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    Tim on the University of Austin: It's all the people who've been cancelled from institutions of higher learning. It's like Lex Friedman...
    Ray: *Ted Kaczynski*
    Goddamn savage...

    • @_idiot
      @_idiot 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      thinking of getting my degree in Deep Podcast Learning AIs and a minor Anti-Gender Studies

    • @squedblairing5595
      @squedblairing5595 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That Kazcynski line killed me!

    • @carpeimodiem
      @carpeimodiem 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      58:32

  • @Sidelinefighter-expert
    @Sidelinefighter-expert 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    The delay was due to Ray needing to walk to the door to collect his ubereats

  • @ItsWithakayLee
    @ItsWithakayLee 3 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    Truly, at first I was like I don’t like or agree with Ray then at the halfway point I thought “holy shit I am Ray”

    • @jimbo5071
      @jimbo5071 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Same. We all wanna be Tim but most of us are less than Ray

  • @mfrunyan
    @mfrunyan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    was expecting Tim to say "you've spoken enough" within the first minute

  • @ShatterNWO
    @ShatterNWO 3 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    How am I supposed to get out of seeing my kids on the weekends now that the show is on a weekday?

    • @joshwhite5407
      @joshwhite5407 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Don't tell her?

    • @ShatterNWO
      @ShatterNWO 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@joshwhite5407 She watches too, so she'll know. Working during the week was my way of getting out of seeing them altogether.

  • @yourmindondrums
    @yourmindondrums 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Dude the fucking laugh at 9:15 when Tim pictures him and Ray rocking up with all the freshmen next year, when he realises Ray was about to apply them for real 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
    9:03 for full effect hahaha

  • @tyrelltyler1430
    @tyrelltyler1430 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "In Long Island they want you to Die & Fail"
    😂🤣😭

  • @BBDumfuk
    @BBDumfuk 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Can’t wait for the first Timmy ray kump impression.

  • @let88it88be
    @let88it88be 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I thought "the squish" was a reference to a Travis Scott concert.

    • @jackogood
      @jackogood 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Niceeeee

    • @fakeshemp9599
      @fakeshemp9599 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      That's what I thought too lmao

  • @snesleywipessqueegeeservices
    @snesleywipessqueegeeservices 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    My two favourite people in real conversation. 💙 a privilege gentlemen. Thank you.

  • @Arcturios
    @Arcturios 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The little hand flipping you off from inside of Tim’s collar. 😂

  • @tyrelltyler1430
    @tyrelltyler1430 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "You don't need the booster - all you need is @justdance"
    😂🤣

  • @TomKloseMusic
    @TomKloseMusic 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Oh I was so sure the title "The Squish" was gonna refer to the Astroworld incident....

  • @elscorchoTX
    @elscorchoTX 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Ray doing Just Dance is gonna make me laugh all day! lol

  • @WhiteHippoUSA
    @WhiteHippoUSA 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Ray's completely involuntary burp at @33:17 had me truly, laughing out loud. Great stuff.

  • @chandler_h
    @chandler_h 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    love the audio only episodes. also ray's buttery voice.

    • @jhart1127
      @jhart1127 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      So many lies in just one sentence 😂

  • @emmanuelsanniez2746
    @emmanuelsanniez2746 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Tim : "I want a fellowship."
    Ray : "What is a fellowship?" 🤔
    Tim : "I don't know. That's why I want it."

  • @Shadow789798
    @Shadow789798 3 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Tim enabling his whole audience when he says "Would we be where we are with self discipline?"

  • @LocoNJLVIN
    @LocoNJLVIN 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Ray saying he is “dancing” with the Nintendo switch is one of the most inaccurate and hilarious things I’ve heard all year

    • @hestermofet6350
      @hestermofet6350 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      💯!!! Picturing him spinning and dancing ballerina style around his apt is truly a hilarious vision! Especially picturing him being a badass at it 😁😆😂

  • @andrea2798
    @andrea2798 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    fun fact: Student loans are the only loans that can not be relieved by bankruptcy.

    • @michaelregan427
      @michaelregan427 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Wasn't always that way. Bunch of law students at Harvard fucked it up for us. Fun fact though if you go on disability your loans get forgiven.

    • @russellm2555
      @russellm2555 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      But you learned one of life's great lessons.

  • @buddajj
    @buddajj 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "whats this guy's name? Kyle Rittenhouse?" - when i tell you i almost pissed myself🤣🤣🤣

  • @beterbeter2584
    @beterbeter2584 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Thank you ben, We will be content with this. Big ups to you and that Tammany Courthouse of a studio.

  • @gorkmusic
    @gorkmusic 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Tim loves Ray so much and you can tell by the way he roasts him.

  • @travissoff9521
    @travissoff9521 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Oh man, FINALLY!!! I haven't been desperate like this since the good 'ol H days. Thanks a million for the free-ninety-nine episode.

  • @jayd9653
    @jayd9653 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    The dialogue these two have is always absolutely gut busting keeps my faith in humanity alive

  • @e1v1a19
    @e1v1a19 3 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    Ray doesn’t want to be filmed because he’s literally TWICE the size of Tim.

    • @talibanchristian
      @talibanchristian 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      you think ray cares? say it to his face he will literally eat you.

    • @naderissa9625
      @naderissa9625 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Ray Kump is way cooler than you. You are nobody. We are making TH-cam comments and he’s the one on a popular podcast. Judge not, lest ye be judged.

    • @TheMaliciousSmurf
      @TheMaliciousSmurf 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@naderissa9625 calm down. It was just a joke and it's not even the first comment about his appearance

    • @lazyhack2385
      @lazyhack2385 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@talibanchristian he establishes war footing quickly. He will bite. Ask Team 12

    • @zeewhat
      @zeewhat 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      wow!

  • @tyrelltyler1430
    @tyrelltyler1430 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "You've made me out to be this right-wing lunatic - no i haven't - yes you have"
    😭🤣😂

  • @GatsbyMyself
    @GatsbyMyself 3 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    I just keep pressing the “10 seconds back” button on the pre recorded ads to hear my sweet Bens laughs & giggles.

  • @trentjung8035
    @trentjung8035 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Ray’ is New York’s Boomhauer

  • @tyrelltyler1430
    @tyrelltyler1430 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "Everything is available at the University Of Austin"
    😂😂

  • @deanbromerg8000
    @deanbromerg8000 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Where do you get a hat giant enough to fit on your head? From the donkey off hee-haw!!!🤪

  • @IDKDCA
    @IDKDCA 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Ray trying to make a serious point *MASSIVE BURP* carries on, apologises very late 😂

  • @cyberspace667
    @cyberspace667 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is the Two Bears One Cave reboot we need

  • @captainpoil
    @captainpoil 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Seriously.... Where would Joe Rogan be without this guy?

  • @sneakers_guy5488
    @sneakers_guy5488 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Lmfao I just got to the point where they explain what the squish is and I'm dying here 😭

  • @salem927
    @salem927 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Tim when you came to Grand Rapids you killed it. My girlfriend loved the show as well. Come back soon!

  • @tyrelltyler1430
    @tyrelltyler1430 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Re: University of Austin:-
    Tim: "I'm tryna find out whats going on here"
    😂😂

  • @danielseliger1123
    @danielseliger1123 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Absolutely perfect...a Ray episode
    This is exactly what I wanted tonight
    Thank you for the yucks 🍻

  • @bex_3
    @bex_3 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That sound Ray makes at 0:51 😆