Dealing with the KNOW-IT-ALL narcissist
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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.
Notice when you’re talking about any topic with a narcissist they try to correct you, debate you and act like they’re an expert on the subject. It’s always “I’m right and you’re wrong.” They all think they have PhDs in every area of life.
I love the last sentence so much ❤!!
Ack , Help Me ! 😂
Of course they do!!😂…. Law degree, medical degree, etc!! They know it ALL!
I hate to say it but an eight year old needs at least 50 PhD's to hold their heads up or even walk their pet down a street.
it's worse when they actually do. Or several degrees at least
Harassment in order to not be held accountable- you’re not allowed any power!
Lololol my FIL is this person. When we bought our 1st house, he literally yammered for 45 min about about the importance of buying a house. I'm positive my husband dissociates when he does this. I wanted to crawl out my skin listening. My FIL also told my own dad that our house was overpriced. My FIL lives in a completely different state and is unfamiliar with OH communities. When my dad told him our neighborhood has one of the best school districts around and that's one reason the houses are more, my FIL said " it's not that nice...". My dad disengaged from the conversation immediately. He's not arguing facts with an arrogant idiot 😂
My dad sounds just like this. He’s always belittling what I have, where I live. My favorite one is when he walks up to an object or piece of infrastructure in my place and looks it up and down then asks me you like this, in a dismissive manner. Ugh yea if it’s in my apt I bought it so I like it and do I like everything about my actual apt, no, but who does? It’s an apt, not a house I had built from scratch. He’s always made me question everything, what I liked, what I owned. He critiques decisions I make, but guess what? He makes no decisions in his life. Living with his gf not contributing, sitting on a secret pile of cash, jobless for almost 20 years, doing nothing with his life or property investments. I call him the man that never was.
@@mercedesharrison5550 i understand. That's why he's no longer allowed to stay in our home. The nonstop criticisms of our decor, the way they change/ add or fix things no one asked them to. They get way too comfortable being disrespectful.
@@cassien7585 yes for sure. I have gone no contact for the last two years since he freeloaded in my place without permission and then would cause trouble. Good for you guys setting that boundary and you're so lucky to have a husband that put his dad in his place bc there are alot of partners that would ignore it at the expense of their spouse and children
My late FIL was a know-it-all. He used to go on & on with his stories and opinions about everything and everyone else in the family would just sit there and listen politely. One time my in-laws were visiting and my FIL started going off on one of his xenophobic rants. The topic was something that I was very knowledgeable about having studied it at university, besides, it was my house and I’d just had enough of his pontificating. I politely voiced an opposing viewpoint, backed up with supporting evidence. He just looked at me and didn’t reply. I think he was totally gobsmacked that someone had actually dared to stand up to him and express a contrary opinion.
@amiek9226 ahahaha i remember one time telling my FIL I disagrees with something idiotic he said and he too just atared at me. I think you're right. They don't know how to respond to people who actually challenge them.
My boilerplate response these days is just "Okay." Gives them no fight, nothing to attack. Then I walk away.
Dr. Ramani: Just wanted to say THAT YOUR HAIR LOOKS SO GOOD IN A PONYTAIL!!!!!!!!!!!
Please discuss the narcissist who makes fun of overweight people!!
My narc mom LOVES Serena Williams. So it's especially hilarious when I would say something positive about Serena and she would JUMP to contradict me.
So I would respond, "o you think THAT of Serena? I think she's great"
She. Would be. Fuming. 😈
Oh, that's brilliant!
They're dangerous in that sense. Especially when it comes to medical care. They will act like they know more than the doctor or nurse and meddle when it's not their area of expertise (if narcs can be said to be experts in anything other than being destructive).
OMG 😮that is so sickening 😭 correcting a whole doctor is insaaannneeee
@@lindagithaiga1974 currently bearing witness to this right now. The relative's husband looms over the nurse trying to change the bandages on his wife, then complains about how the job was done or how it should be done. He has no experience in wound care other than being witness to it over the past couple of years. He just KNOWS that he knows better than everyone. Ruined Thanksgiving this year with his bullshit
If I make my point of the correct information, not just to show I'm right/they're wrong, I get accuse of being argumentative or think I'm trying to show that I wantvto be right sll the time. Neither is true.
I get blamed for the narcissist behaviors.
Know what you know and keep it moving. The narc did not get you where you're at.
Awesome! Thank you, Dr. Ramani ❤
I have a so-called friend who thinks she knows everything. When she doesn’t . I could be more qualified and they think I am always wrong .
I come from a family of narcissists. The two that are still here make me crazy. I have been diagnosed with panic, agoraphobia, and PTSD. I had a panic episode right in front of them and it was humiliating. I have a heart condition too and when I panic, my heart goes off rhythm even though I'm on a heart med. I was alone with the narcissists and my husband couldn't be there. He's always my "safe" person. I was treated like a joke. As I was trying to control my breathing and get my heart rate down, one of them told me to "eat a cracker." I was gulping water, with an erratic heart beat, trying to breathe deeply. They continued on to the restaurant but I needed to go home! I couldn't eat at all and then my heart went completely off rhythm in the restaurant right in front of them so I started the deep breathing and had my fingers on my neck to check my pulse. They know I had to call an ambulance about a year and half ago because I went into SVT, supraventricular tachycardia at 196 beats per min. They did nothing. Said nothing. Just kept eating and going on about how good the food was.
Now they want me to come see their holiday decorations. One of them (my dad) texted that he'll make sure they have police, and fire department and hire a band?? In other words, he's mocking my mental health issues. I have no words. I have to go because if I don't then my other family members will reem me out for upsetting my elderly father. I can't win.
I only had this yesterday speaking with my narc ex (we have to stay in contact because of our son).
Our son is having an issue that I would be knowledgeable on when it comes to helping him due to my professional background. I spoke for a few seconds on what I thought would be the best tactics to support our son and he got really angry. He rubbished all my suggestions, then told me to stop speaking to him in that “condescending voice”. Now, I learned a few years ago to keep my voice and tone completely neutral when speaking with him (thank you Dr. Ramani! 😃) so my voice wasn’t any different than it usually is. I think he just interpreted my trying to share my knowledge as being condescending as HE is the one who normally knows everything. I usually just play along with his delusions because it’s not worth challenging but when it comes to my child, I won’t hold back.
One time, I was sitting with some guests, some of whom were Iranian. This one guy literally said to them "you think because you lived there for several years that you know what's really going on in Iran- you're wrong!"- this is someone who is not Iranian and has never been to Iran. this person (and his family) are very well educated but they have big egos to match. I also think he thrives on arguments so answering back would just be giving him what he wants.
There is a compulsiveness about their know it at all-ness. It’s annoying. We don’t admire it. Yet they cannot control it. So just see this as their compulsion in action.
I'm impervious to know-it-all narcisists because I actually know everything /joke
My husband know it all kind and also more questioning kind, he questions others & me so that he will measure our knowledge in that topic. even we explain him something he will ask where did you see that, where did you hear that, or who told you that? how you know? all such questions even for very small topic pretending as if he don't know anything about that topic. he will try to irritate by asking 100 questions just to see our reaction then if we answer angrily after facing so many questions , he will reply saying " I was just trying to know , why are you angry? ". This is the daily thing which makes any conversation tough. God save me.
My ex would only pull this when we were alone and he could gaslight me into believing him. (Manipulation) and one time he was saying I “jumped on the adderall bandwagon” because I was diagnosed with ADHD and copied him to get adderall. I knew for a fact that I found my psychiatrist and was prescribed adderall first, then he told me he wanted to find someone to help him, so I recommended the same psychiatrist and he went and got the same diagnosis/prescription about a month later. He was telling me I was crazy and making him feel insane so I told him to pull up his pharmacy records from Walmart since we both got them there. I was able to prove that I filled my prescription first. He never wanted to talk about that night again. He would make everyone else feel like they were right in public but to me, I was always wrong about everything when we were alone.
Haba doc! You started this video describing my mum😂
I used to do alterations. Every now and then I would get someone who would not listen to my expert advice. For instance, you need to add 2 inches to the length of a top to allow for movement without exposing your belly. Eventually I told them that I would charge them to correct the problem they created. I would never see them again. Being in a service business will toughen you up or give you a breakdown
Mine is a “medical expert“ because she has taken anatomy and physiology I & II. It’s sad to watch her tell doctors that they’re wrong and then wonder why it’s so hard for her to find medical treatment 😕
4:15, 😆
Oh hell yes. These guys can be terrible with this. I had a Narc engineer colleague telling the technicials on how to fix equipment in the factory that broke down. They followed his advice, and they messed up because of it. The next thing was, they were in trouble because of it. I as a fellow (and female) engineer felt really embarrased about this situation. I oftern had to "be there" for the technicials when this a-hole did things like this. The worst of all is, his technical knowledge wasn't even wonderful, but at best mediocre.
The most annoying thing is when they ask you for your opinion so they can argue about it.
I HAAAAAAAAAAAAATE THAT!!!!! And if they sense that you’re uncomfortable talking about whatever the subject is, they twist your arm even more to talk about it.
I now say do you really want my opinion or what you want me to say? Stops them most times.
I just became that asshole who stares at them silently and says nothing. I'm not playing their games anymore@@annemariepeterhoff7261
Or when they make the claim, "I just want to have a civilized debate". No, you want to dominate the conversation, try to make others feel stupid, and ignore, dismiss, or belittle any evidence that other people provide, and try convince others that you are right, regardless of the topic. That isn't debating.
A former president huh? See, the funny thing about leftists is that they don't provide facts, they provide anger and emotion to debates. Its hard to convince people with emotional rhetoric and talking points.... Lefties always tuck tail and run from debates unless they can lie without being fact checked. As soon as the facts come out, the narrative crumbles. Sad isn't it?@@Protegida4
A phrase that i say to myself, or them... " You would rather BE right, than MAKE things right."
I learned to shut my mouth. I don't know everything. I was among many kids who were academically 1-4 years beyond that present grade. I tried to tell my ex who repeatedly stated "I know". I gave the info and there was dead silence for a few seconds. And an "I did not know that". No need to smear it. Do right, it will be alright. Deadbeat, out.
If you talk about something and it doesn't interest a narcissist,they talk about something else that is something they only are enthusiastic about and nothing more...that's killing happiness and new things😢
My life with my husband
As my daughters get older I see this ALOT. It makes me sad. They're not with him a full 50% of the time but he manages to laugh and ridicule anything they or I do that he isn't an expert or interested in. It's to the point my kids only do what he's interested in. It's disgusting.
Sadly this is so spot on. Not only do they know everything, but their way is the only way and they convey it all condescendingly or discount every idea you contribute.
It's like talking to a wall.
And they add assumptions and rubbish when they actually have no idea!!!
@@viviennefuidge2891 The assumptions are mostly their manipulations and cunning tactics to triangulate you in the future. It was such cunning tactics that the stupid and worthless narc tries to do with me and I steer clear of her stupid games and cruel triangulations.. She oddly has become so damaging to every relationship..
Yep... I had a situation where the know-it-all narcissist had a notion to give the manager (of a major retail chain store) a piece of her mind over a given product that was faulty. Me, having over 7 years of experience in corporate/chain retail, tried to inform her that the manager of such retail stores have nothing to do with the brands of products offered in these stores... but, nope... she had once worked in a donut shop! Even though I had worked for both Home Depot and Ace for many years, I guess her brief experience with a mom-and-pop donut pusher trumps my experience?
Narcissists like to brag or just say obvious stuff that everybody knows and act as if they are the only ones who know.
My mother once explained to me that the Italians were not on our side during World War 2. I am a historian working in the field, so it's not like that was exactly new information to me. In my family we call what she does, "Momsplaining" which is like mansplaining, only from Mom. 🤣
@@indoorsyren3955 😂 that wouldn’t even be new information to a kid in school.
My approach is just to nonchalantly and confidently point out when something they say is wrong with point blank sentences like "That idea doesn't make sense."
With as blank a face as possible, no smile, no malice - just deal in pure fact
@@gforce9596 it‘s not about when narcissists are wrong it’s when they brag like I described. When they are wrong I love to debunk with pure rationality as well.
I know. lol My children were in elementary school at the time, and they all laughed at her. @@LeanAndMean44
I hid my smarts from my narcissist boyfriend and when I decided to stop hiding it he accused me of being a know it all. This was during the Discard phase. He wanted me to keep my mouth shut but the things I know, I know and I've been vindicated on each thing he disagreed with but the bottom line is narcissists HATE people with high IQ who actually have intelligent conversations with others that they witness while having NO IDEA you knew all along. He just couldn't handle me having a voice. It was political discussion, but my ex ran for governor of Montana so I knew things he didn't know and tried to humiliate me "What are you an Influencer?" Maybe I am. They hate when you get positive attention and they hate when you're right. And even though you admit you don't know everything and allow them to hush you u, it's too late. Once you reveal you know what you know the cats out of the bag. Big egos can't handle when people are smarter.
They will attack you just becareful
Zinke? Gianforte? Who?!?
@@Auntijengen why do you need to know names? what does that do for the conversation?
It's the one pause I have about my current girlfriend. She's sweet and considerate, but she does seem to get off on being right about things. I tease her about it, but I did have it out with her the other day about the backseat driving: told her how angry it made me and that it compromised my attention to the road. Kind of our first fight. No one's perfect, but it does give me pause about the longterm.
My ex would roll his eyes when I talked about anything I had learned by reading a book on it.
They have inner boiling rage always ready to erupt, From know it all then can easily shift to blow it all if anybody corrects them.
Bravo that's a great turn of phrase
SHE yelled at my friend. My friend's husband told her to stop yelling at his wife. SHE went into a rage and yelled at him that SHE did not, in fact, yell at his wife!! My friend was in tears. (wrong thing to do - because now SHE thinks SHE has a hold on my friend.)
It’s all about making themselves look big and making you look small, no matter how simple of a thing you bring up, and they will go on and on and on and on with their “words of wisdom” on a subject they truly know little-to-nothing about; and if you say anything against what they have to say, they will make YOU feel like YOU’RE the know-it-all. It’s so obnoxious.
They love to project. One of the narcs in my life claimed we were alike and I gagged at the thought. He's told me that I couldn't love anyone since I didn't love my own mother. I'd never say something that fucking cruel.
I've been lying in wait to make his life utter hell ever since.
The coverts are worse for this. You can have actual facts but their opinion is what's correct and they have no problem showering you with contempt and disdain. You then end up looking like the know it all argumentative one, after all they were only sayingntheir 'opinion'!
I’ve never clicked on a video faster than this one 😂
THIS!!! This is my parents and it completely destroyed graduate school for me, because I thought that is how people actually talked. It destroyed my life, and almost destroyed my relationship. At this point, intelligence for me is a very private thing. I think I am becoming more aware of what I want to know, and the areas where I don't mind being ignorant. And I am acquiring much more respect and admiration for people who truly are brilliant. I am okay knowing what I know and continuing to pursue my interests. I have no desire to really move out of my areas of interest, and no desire to pretend to know anything that I don't.
I have to tell someone....( I don't have much of a support system ) I told my husband of 45 years Sunday that after the holidays he needs to find a lawyer and that we are getting a divorce. ( I told him last March that I would give him a yr to get therapy because of his narcisstic way he has treated me and our children for yrs ) First reaction was about money and how to divide assets, and that he will be fair with me. WTF ? I informed him, that it is I who will be kind to him in this divorce. The MFer would never want me to work because he can make in an hr what I would make in a week, which is true. Smiling... knowing just how much the settlement will be ( in my favor ) .... I will be single soon and will be able to heal my mind and body after yrs of abuse.
It is all lies that he will give u more or anything, he will give only which is taken by attorney. It is a tough battle of division with a narcissist.
Freedom is not free . Watch out . Narcissists will go for the throat every time.
Thank you, thank you. I am new to this @@pa2359
Wait until the other shoe drops…. you are not out of the woods yet …. they will always “get even” over and over and over. It will never be over with a narc husband.
Keep us updated! You have community now. 😊 gather all evidence in silence is the only/best advice I can give.
Have a go bag, cash and a place to go. Hide anything valuable in a safe in a bank or with someone you still trust.
You got this!❤❤❤❤
I love this backdrop: the shades of fuchsia, purple, and yellow, the books and little knick knacks. It reflects ease, comfort, interest, curiosity.
I’m not trying to be a no-it-all, but the backdrop looks to be CGI. I like it too… ☺️
Last Christmas, I was so fed up with it that I just told them in front of everyone that their behaviour wasn't okay. My mom said I ruined Christmas and should've just gone along to get along. My grandma understood how I acted after explaining it to her.
Thats what the designer of this monetised hate wants you to do i.e break up with your family and friends just so she can make 2 or 3 hate videos themed as narcissist videos every day.
@@cameroncameron2826you mad about it?
Someone standing up for themselves isn't "breaking up family." The person who was misbehaving was the problem. Not the person who called it out. That's why there are whistleblower protections. Blaming the whistleblower is only going to maintain the family division.
I'm sorry your mom pulled that, you didn't ruin Christmas. If she felt it was ruined, that is because she is uncomfortable with other people's emotions. It has nothing to do with you. I'm sorry you felt the need to defend yourself, even. I know that feeling. Don't let the past dictate your celebration this year! Enjoy yourself, and pre-plan the boundaries you want to follow ahead of time. I know I always have my own ride home from a family gathering; I will ride there with someone, but I want to have the ability to leave when I feel like it, without depending on someone else.
I'm really sorry. I know how it is, I've decided to spend Christmas on my own for the past 3 years.
It is bittersweet but... you know that's the best food too! Trust me, it's a much more serene recipe.
And you may not have or want that option, but you don't have to take any part in or even listen to tense conversations that go nowhere. Sit next to someone you do like, consider the rest background noise and don't hesitate to politely use the phrases ''that's really none of your business'' and ''I don't want to talk about it'' or ''I don't know anything about it''.
I hate when narcs and enablers say you "ruined" their holiday or event or "fun" by calling out an abuser.
It's like, what about the fact that YOUR holiday or the event or your fun is getting repeatedly ruined every year by the same abusers. So frustrating. Nobody cares about the abusers ruining the target's holiday season. Only the narcissist and enabler's holiday joy "matters". So unfair.
I'm always getting called out for "ruining" events with my "emotions" but nobody cares that I never enjoy the holidays ever anymore because the narcissist have decimated any and all positive associations I've ever had with any holiday but do they give a sh*t? NOPE. Just so long as I "go along to get along" and make sure I help make THEIR holiday time jolly and bright! It's despicable and wicked how they operate!!! Then they give a half hearted attempt to be fake mice to you then violate your boundaries and disrespect you halfway through the family reunion or holiday event and when you snap they say, "Omg! It's like walking on eggshells with you! I did the (bare minimum) you asked and I've treated you (disrespectfully) with nothing but respect (underlying passive aggressive resentment and contempt) and this is the thanks I get?! Nothing I do is good enough for you! You're so selfish! So ungrateful! Starving kids in Africa! Bombs in Isreal and Ukraine! And you're sitting here with your hurt feewingz on Christmas!!"
I knew someone who often answered to my comments with "yeah, but." She had an answer for just about everything. It seemed that she was not really present when I spoke, so I decided to try something. While she chatted away, I quietly came up with two possibilities. When she finally paused, my response was like "I know X is possible, but I also think that Y is possible too." She started with "yeah, but," and actually gave one of the answers that I just shared. In my normal voice, I said "yes, I just said that." After about the third day of doing this, she stopped herself in mid sentence and never did it again.
Haha! Good one!! Stump the chump!
Haha well done 👍
I never thought of my ex-wife as a narcissist, but...she was a know it all and a control freak. I had to do it HER WAY OR ELSE.
Very draining.
I want to add something here: I have diagnosed ADHD and might also have some kind of autism/OCD.
Due to years of untreated diagnosed depression stemming from bullying, my ADHD, etc. I have indulged into the psychological backgrounds. Not nearly enough to be an expert, but I can put things more into perspective now.
During my first and only relationship at that point (late teens to early twenties), I did sometimes treat my bf like narcissistic people are described. We all have narcissistic traits, but I really felt like I was turning into my mother who I had always labeled to be narcissistic af. It scared me, made me angry at myself and the situation and turned it into a downward spiral.
Turns out the behaviors of ADHD/autistic people and narcissists can be similar. Or rather interpreted as very similar. I think there’s also a video Dr. Ramani has made about this topic.
Not saying that it didn’t have an impact on you / not trying to invalidate your experience! I’m sure I did damage to my ex bf and I’m still incredibly sorry about that.
Just pointing out that your ex wife doesn’t have to be a narcissist. My mom pretty certainly has ADHD and varying levels of OCD, which I (not knowing better) interpreted as her being narcissistic. And I’m sure my ex also labeled me as such at some point.
It helped me a lot knowing that my trauma wasn’t caused by a narcissistic abuser, but by someone who was overstimulated, who reacted that way because they had been raised that way as well, and that they didn’t intend for it to do the damage it did.
Maybe it helps you too, hope you’re doing better now!
Yuck. My father is a narcissist and I think I have the traits I'm pretty much just shutting down and don't want anyone in my life. Idk what is wrong with my father but he is so emotionally shut down.
You've perfectly described my sister. She pretends to know it all but when you really know her, you know she doesn't have a clue about anything.
Sounds like my brother, too. I once had an argument with my brother about pickles. He was a grown man by this point (23 or something), and he argued that there were pickle plants that grew pickles. I tried explaining to him that pickles were cucumbers that were pickled in vinegar, but he refused to believe me even when I Googled it to show him. These sorts of people will literally argue about ANYTHING.
You'll probably not get a hearted response from the author of this hate strain until your given notice that you've broken up with your entire family and all your friends.
Sounds like my whole family.
The clueless always know it all. lol When they realize they're truly clueless, they can't change course fast enough
Ah! My parents, the people who convinced me they knew everything. Had me defer to them. They knew jack!
I’ve learned that narcissists have a very convincing personality and will have others thinking they are high and mighty! Narcissists don’t hear what you say!
My moronic narcissistic family literally speak just to hear the sound of their own voices. So glad I went no contact. "If their absence brings you peace, then you didn't lose anything".
You not only lose nothing, you gain peace, tranquility, self-esteem, and reduced blood pressure... 😊
My narcissist husband even argues with me about my health issues. He knows better then my doctors and I. He will argue with me about anything. He is exhausting and he knows damn well what he is doing! I now understand that I need to take care of me. Thanks for helping me to get here.
I feel for u I’m in the same damn boat!!!
go find another mate; teach him the biggest lesson, and for yourself save your insanity because it will go on and on
My favorite thing to do in these situations is to ask the know it all questions I already know answers to just to see what BS they come up with all while maintaining strangely long lasting eye contact with as few as blinks as possible. It puts them in an extremely uncomfortable position and more times than not they will begin to backpedal even without me having to say a word. Deep down they know I know and it's hilarious watching them crawl in their own skin.
Love it❤
Hahahahahaha! Yes!
I've been doing this too and it works. Don't try it with someone who might be dangerous though. My ex is a vulnerable/grandiose type and he will yell but he loves to try to win by becoming calm as everyone else gets angrier. My ex resents me because he knows I'm smarter than him LMAO. He thought I was just a mildly intelligent piece of arm candy but I'm a threat to his entire house of cards now because I finally figured out his stupid games. He actually steals my ideas from our private convos and says them for clout. I noticed this with everyone he knows, he's like a sponge. He's actually really dumb. And I think he doesn't want me to be around others with him because he doesn't want me to see him acting like a chameleon. Called him out on it multiple times before I even realized he was a narc and he built yet another resentment against me. Excuses for everything. Tells his friends it's my fault he's cooped up in the house bc I'm chronically ill, even though I legit do not care and I wish he would do something but he is boring. He doesn't really want to do anything and waits for opportunities to just fall in his lap, then wonders why nothing is going on, and hates me for it as if I don't constantly provide various forms of entertainment for him LMAO.
I have interstitial lung disease. I no longer bring my wife to doctor appointments because when I do, she argues with my doctors and then acts like she didn’t hear a word they said, insisting it’s all in my head. She told one of my doctors that I just need to lose weight. He told her that it wouldn’t matter how much weight I lost, it wouldn’t be enough to cure me. When we got home, she said, “see, I was right, you just need to lose weight.”
Is this my step-dad?
Extricate yourself from that disrespect. Your medical status is your business with your CARE team, not a wicked witch.
I get told I not a doctor when I read something useful about a vitamin or something when tell him something I read I finally said I don’t have to be a doctor to read !!!
Don't take her to appts. If you can get to the Dr alone leave her at home. You and the Dr don't need that.
Looks like you got plenty of you should hate/get rid of your wife style advice and some throw yourself to the mercy of the care services opinion here.
Its going to solve a while lot of things NOT. But then again it is your fault for visiting the quack on this channel along with the army of spiteful rogues who only seek psychological war against their friends and families. This channel attracts a lot of chavs who are simply dysfunctional but have realised they can learn how to blame those around them here.
Most of the time the persons Dr Ramani is accusing of being Narcissist are just long suffering and worried family members who are trying to positively influence persons who are not acting within their own best interests. Its distirbing that the common denominator by Ramani & her followers is BREAK UP.
With friend and family - its the DEFAULT.
The art of turning off ones hearing and maintaining a demeanor as if you are listening,is incredibly difficult to do.
I just let my ADHD do that for me LOL
Sooo true. I don't think true empaths are wired to play head games. It makes them literally nasiious. It's literal torture.
What I hate is when the know-it-all narcissist I have to deal with, cuts me off when I’m trying to tell him something, cause he thinks he knows what I’m going to say next, yet most of the time he is wrong. That’s one battle I do take on by saying, you didn’t let me finish. He hates when people interrupts him and yet he does it to me and others all the time. Narcissists are hypocrites!
Yup. What you know is irrelevant to them.
Yesssssss!!!! It’s so frustrating…..on another note I feel a sense of community here because I can relate to so many comments!!!
Mistake nr 1 is to talk with the narcissist in the first place. That is listen to their monologe, venting, critisism, bitching about how the world is « unfair» to them not beeing a dictator
My x knew everything about hockey, soccer, cars, home repair, sexuality, physical fitness, conflict resolution, staff management, psychology etc.... The only thing he didn't know anything about was how to be a real human being with empathy.
Ooh that’s a good one. Ima have to steal that 🔥
😂😂 😂
That last sentence is deep
Boom!!!! 😂
The correcting and nit picking, the verbal punishment for not agreeing and so much more that is so horribly criticizing and futile! There is no reasoning with them! They are hypocritical and so judgy about things they werent even there for and/or never did it themselves. Grrrr!
my ex would do the same thing. It got so bad I couldn't get a sentence out.
Reminds me of a time at a family gathering that a relative asked for my professional expertise on a matter. Of course my narcissist mom felt the need to jump in and talk over me with her own “advice”, despite not having any training or formal knowledge on the topic at hand. She acted like she knew better than me about my own line of work lol. The family member just gave a look that told me they were well aware she was talking nonsense and we both just moved right along.
Reminds me of my sister telling the whole family about my new job and how I got to get it, thanks to her (when she did not know about it at all)... Stepping away from my family who keeps accepting these situations to avoid conflict, I m so tired of letting her step on everybody, it just keeps encouraging her to continue and I'm not OK with that.
My father and I were talking about rent once. He was saying that rent prices were going to go down. I said No, they've never gone down (been renting for 25+ years). My dad said, "Well, YOU haven't been around" in a condescending way. He's never rented in his life. He just had to be right and superior no matter how ridiculous the argument was.
I have a know- it-all neighbor who decided I didn't look old enough to get social security. I live in an apartment complex so she actually confronted me because she felt she had to be right. I gave her some of my work history. I know when I was born. The audacity of someone who does this and wants you change facts to suit their ideas. Narcissists don't live in the same reality.
OMG We do NOT have to defend ourselves to these people. I would have said the social security people verified my age, and you need to mind your own business.
Why would you humor the old bag
Oh, they know more about you and your life, preferences, skills, thoughts ... than you do!
Unreal my neighbor decided when we moved in that because we were young we must want him to tell us what to do on OUR property
The audacity of the neighbour coming over, getting in your face, not knowing you and risking their safety rather than calling the police and doing a kind of wellness check like a sane person.
When their first word after I say something is No!
If it’s all in the correcting of me, one-upping me, “educating me” on topics that I have way more experience, then I pull back and go grey rock.
The narcissists' that were the closest to me were insanely jealous of my intelligence. They would make me feel bad for knowing things that they did not. Any time I tried to "help" with any information that I had from study or experience, I always was treated as If I was implying they were dumb. Which was not true.
Pure jealousy
My ex had a lot of health issues. When I was looking the issues up, she would scream at me that she knows what is best for her health.
Turns out she was abusing her prescription, and she didn't want me to find out.
That is very common with narcissist family members. I think they all did it. One was hospitalized 25 times and when I came over to clean I found a couple dozen of her pills spit out between the bed and the wall. The visiting nurse came twice a day to give her meds and insulin shots. I watched one day as she started suddenly limping and moaning after she heard the nurse’s car drive up into the driveway. She had been fine all day before she heard that car in the driveway. And she would conveniently be hospitalized when I had scheduled my vacation. It happened several times and I figured out she was doing it to herself and stopped telling her my scheduled weeks off even if she asked. I would book a flight to another state and leave and call her up after I got there .Funny she never got hospitalized when I was gone.
You just described my sister-in-law. It's exhausting to deal with her. Everything is a monologue.
There is no point in engaging in any conversations with a narcissist. All of them are the kind of know it all. Thank you for great advice dr Ramani❤
It sucks having them in your life either family or inlaws. You dont want their BS there, but if you dont invite them there will be a huge tantrum. Same with social media, if they know others are connected to you then they think they should be too. Then they analyze everything and everyone you have on there. Looking for any opportunity to point out what you say or post is wrong. They stalk and gossip. Truly pathetic pieces of 💩
At the point in life I am at right now, 46 and not even remotely interested in a relationship, and also a teacher to real actual 2 year olds, life has taught me to ignore tantrums from them as well as grown ups. With loving care and all patience for the kids, but never for any grown up. You should try it. I also recommend mirroring a grown up tantrum whenever dealing with one. Trust me, when 2 to 4 year olds realised how silly a tantrum is, they usually grow out of it fairly quickly. Grown ups not so much, they have a tendency to get all offended. But do try "whaaaaaaing" them when they start and enjoy!
@Haley497 it's not so enjoyable when they learn to do it back at you any time you need them to do anything, lol.
Exactly. It’s such atrocious behaviour … it’s quite antisocial when you think about it!
OMG! This is so true.
Once I was working in an office with a narcissist. She was the office know it all and giving advice to a young mother about getting child support as if it would just drop out out of the sky if she wished it. I on the other hand had previously worked in a law office and knew better. I said, "Don't tell her that, no judge in his right mind will order child support prior to filing date on a complaint."
The narc was like, " Well, they're talking about it all over the news."
And I retorted, "I worked in a law office ... you'd think i would know."
The narc went storming off. It was very satisfying.
and it turns out she didn't get it I bet and you were right lol! Did she ever get the child support? Did it come fast? I bet not. lol! I even had a social worker get mad at me because she thought that I would just magically get disability and basically told me I'm handicapped and can't work then proceeded to tell me I need those things for my ears so that I can hear. Drawing a blank as to what they are called sense I'm depressed and have auditory processing disorder.
I told a group about a medical problem I had. The know-it-all stated that the issue couldn't really result in a medical problem. I replied "OMG! I'll let my doctor know!"
U were brave
I remember when the Narc and I decided to make Ropa Vieja. I wanted to follow a step-by-step recipe which stated at a certain step to remove the celery, carrots and bay leaves. That turned into a big blow up with him RAGING because I wanted to remove them and he insisted that we keep them. I clearly remember standing in the kitchen shocked at his reaction over celery, carrots and bay leaves! And then when you try to calm them down and make them 'see' how they are overreacting, it becomes even worse. I remember he told me to 'fuck off'! Now when I think back it seems comical.
who was cooking this dish? You were, he needed to get his butt out of the kitchen. My ex used to brag on how good he could cook barbecue chicken. One day he said he was going to make it. Ordered me to cut up a whole chicken. Told him he was bragging and he could cut the chicken up himself. He got angry and we had an argument. Told him it didn’t take any talent to pour barbecue sauce over chicken pieces and bake in an oven, the least he could do was cut up the chicken. I ended up getting in my car and driving to the lake for a couple of hours to get away from him. Came home and the chicken was cooked and done.
@@oklahomaisok We were cooking together. I really don't cook much but I love that dish and I figured it would be fun to make it together. It was fine until he lost him mind over vegetables because he had to be right. My ex Narc also used to brag about how good he cooked certain things. Most of which was putting a piece of meat and a vegetable on the grill. He did fish a lot and at times, he would give me some fresh fish to take home. Since I don't really cook, one time I texted him and asked how I should cook the fish. Of course, I could google... but I texted him. He responded with nastiness and said that he shouldn't have to tell a 51 yr old woman how to cook fish. I think a 'normal' person might have responded and said... 'You could bake it in the oven at 400 for about 15 min or you can pan fry it....." Laughable now!
It’s sad when people argue on the internet over something like that. They must be something else to be around in real life.
I told my boyfriend I needed things done in an exact way and got mad and reacted when he didn't do it my way. I told him I get off tract when I do things his way and we were trying to clean my apartment so that they could spray for roaches. He's also very negative to or will disagree with everything I say. I didn't realize this was toxic
Yeah…. That’s an entire video on trying to cook something around the narc , micromanaging at its finest
My former best friend was like this. He actually was very smart, one of the top of his class, and consistently lectured me on whatever topic he was interested in. I was expected to listen and go, "Ooh, ahh." I am still triggered today by people who talk incessantly about things they "know about."
I feel ya! My husband is one. We are going through a divorce. He's book smart for sure. No empathy, though.
That sounds more like like autism
Me too! 😵💫
My NPD ex husband was the know it all of everything. For the most part, I was able to tune out much of his ranting. Except - he also often was the know it all of MY personal life, medical history, etc. Things that had happened in my life long before he entered it... things he had no knowledge about because I had never discussed them with him... OMG! Usually these conversations occurred in the car while driving somewhere... and, without exaggeration, sometimes I had to show a great deal of restraint to not jump out of the moving car.
I feel your pain 😢car rides with narcs are ticking time bombs
The know it all usually knows very little or nothing. They are insufferable.
Often, I find that know-it-all narcissists are mediocre, insecure, and give generic examples that mean little to the conversation. Then, they get offended when genuinely called out or corrected in a calm manner.
So true.
A friend brings up false beliefs or information and when corrected calmly, she gets argumentative and try to change topic because she doesn't want to hear the facts.
YES!! I’ve observed these things also! 👍
It's really comical when a person has been to a well known place, such as Graceland, Las Vegas or the Grand Canyon - a place MANY people have visited, but they start describing it to you as though surely you were never there! (And you HAVE been! 🤣) I always just let them describe it, and don't let them know I've been there.
How do I handle a narc husband who constantly contradicts everything I say? I mean everything!!!
Mindy, Gray Rock him. 👍
Just tell him "we are married and should remain married" and he'll tell you he wants a divorce. Perfect win win scenario.
Run, run fast and run far....
Mine too! It is driving me nuts! Surely, I can’t always be wrong…
@@gerdahurtak4377 you're not always wrong, it's gaslighting...grey rock and remember that it isn't personal; it's who they are.
Omg this is so my sister in law !! That and she hijacks ANY conversation no matter what. Also she REALLY thinks any idea that I’ve come up with or anyone else was HER own idea genuinely. I don’t understand it and it drives me NUTS!!!
Ommmmg that’s my sister. She would steal my ideas and then regurgitate them as her own. She even does it with speakers on tv. It’s so weird and annoying.
I'm glad we're starting to dialogue about this kind of habit. While I don't always think 'narcissist' when I hear this kind of thing, I always feel uncomfortable when I have to sit through something like this. Acknowledging it for what it is: the first step.
Not all know-it-alls are narcissists, although most narcissists are know-it-alls.
Then again considering that theres never been even 1 known clinical diagnosed narcissist you could simply be off your trolley. Along with the coach whose war like and controlling video appears to indicate a hubris type where she considers herself a type of anti narcissist TERMINATOR in a rather fantastique way.
Maybe you are delusional not & not a victim and its highly doubtful many of the fanatic that watch this channel are. They come here to learn how to get away with abuse by accusing the victim of Narcissism.
Why are there so many any narcissistic people in the world? I think us empaths are just exhausted! Every guy I’ve loved was a narcissist, what is wrong with meeeeeeeee …. Seriously 😂
Mandy, it's not you. This whole world is filling up with narcissists!😮
It's not you!!!?
It is exhausting though
I feel the same, what is wrong with me, how could I repeat this over and over. I just ended my last narc relationship because I started seeing more clearly. I need to stop making excuses for other people’s bad behavior.
@@deb4610 💜
Nothing, I read that man (including women) are inherently narcissistic.
Yea yea yea… you think you know everything about narcissism… well… you do 😂
Thank you sooo much for helping me understand and heal. God bless you 🙏🏼🤗
I had an uncle narcissitic, He was annoying to be around and he always got fired from his job cause he was telling the boss how much smarter he was everytime. Then he'd go to my grandma and ask her for money cause he was a victim. lol.
Reminds me of my ex only he was always getting fired or quitting bc he was a rage o holic. He always swore he was right about every confrontation he got into and then when he’s jobless he expects to live off of me, and for his friends to give him money. When his friends wouldn’t bc it’s a pattern, he’ll say he has no friends. When I’d tell him he needs to find work before rent is due he’d cry about how no one wants to see him get ahead and that he doesn’t like paying rent. He thinks he knows everything and is right about everything meanwhile is pure chaos that has never maintained a stable life for himself without using others or the help of his mommy dearest.
Reminds me of a neighbor. We used to walk together some evenings until she, a medical professional, tried to tell me, an accounting professional, that she knew more about a certain tax law than I did. I stood my ground because she just kept on about how she was right and I was wrong, even after I offered to show her the tax code. She never wanted to walk with me again after that. I didn't know how lucky I was! 😂😂😂
My ex-narc never believed anything I said. He’d look it up on the internet and find an opposing point of view just to prove me wrong. He was a know-it-all but all he ever did was repeat what he heard on TH-cam videos, so annoying. Including what women like in bed - those TH-cam women obviously knew more than stupid old me.😳
I love this Video Dr Ramani because at the end, you’re so real, “sometimes we’re not perfect” and you can stick it to them! That’s me! 😂😂 thank you for being my saving grace .
You are amazing and have changed my life xx
My Narc has, many times, butted into a conversation I’m having and mockingly said “isn’t she a know-it-all?” after which he joins in and makes an utter fool of himself.
It’s annoying, yes, but also very amusing.
I used to be a “know it all”. I didn’t feel like I was superior to anyone else I was just bad at conversation. Terrible at small talk and whatnot so when conversation would turn to things I had a lot of knowledge in I would get invigorated and start blabbering. I’ve always been a voracious reader and always doing new hobbies and things. Anytime something piqued my interest I would jump in with both feet.
Anyway, one day someone really shut me down hard. She apologized later for being rude but she was right. I then dove feet first into learning to hold a conversation properly. Realizing that I’m pretty intense and people having a casual conversation don’t want to engage that way. (This all is making me sound like I’m on the spectrum. I’m not at all). I learned new skills to keep me out of being annoying but then realized I don’t like just hanging and chatting lightly. No judgement from me. Most people like get togethers and light banter. It’s not that I think I’m better than them it’s just not my bag. I learned to associate with people with similar interests who we can actually learn something from each other.
When I do get in casual small talk situations I just tell myself. “Nobody cares” and edit whatever down to a sentence or two. Also it’s good to start something off with “I think maybe” or “I heard” and throw in a “but who knows” on occasion.
Anyway, I get the Dr. is talking about a certain type of narcissist but don’t think that all “know it alls” are narcs. Sometimes they are just socially awkward and are glad the conversation has turned to something they know about and feel comfortable talking about.
Most folks don’t get too deep on any one subject, which is fine if there are a variety of subjects to talk about, or if you are in a situation where small-talk is expected. You might find a few folks to deeply converse about a topic, especially if they know something about it or if they too are interested in it. Sometimes though you can exhaust a subject and folks will need a break from it. You don’t want to beat a dead horse. Toastmasters association can help either conversation and speaking. Before a gathering, I brush up on several late breaking news topics just so I have general superficial things to converse about. If you can steer the conversation back to others by asking open ended questions it’s helpful. Folks like to talk about themselves & it’s a subject they know well. I like deep conversations too, but most folks don’t have time/interest for them. Listen more talk less works for me, and have a few good timely jokes!
Wow ! Your ability for self reflection & course correction is impressive. 👏👏👏 Not easy to change bad habits, well done. 👍 Thanks for sharing a positive story on this topic.
Listening to a narcissist giving relationship advice ….. this was by far my favorite sit back and listen moment. Because you actually here bits of their truth pertaining to how they are narcissistic and sometimes they give bits of advice that they themselves do not and will not ever do themselves. If it’s your husband or wife giving the advice you get to sit there and basically listen to how they expect to be treated but totally avoid that they themselves do not practice what they preach.
My narc mom loves to give advice on my relationship, which she assumes everything and knows nothing. Constantly says incorrect things, makes accusations that aren't true, and projects her own flaws onto the fiancee. N-mom has used men for money her whole life and lies that the fiancee is doing the same, among ridiculous statements. Lies to other family members that the fiancee has no skills, doesn't make an income, will never make an income. All ridiculous lies. Thrives off gossip and drama.
This episode is right on time for my holiday party this weekend. 🤣🤣
My ex is that guy. Didn't matter what it was , he knew EVERYTHING worth knowing. In his humble opinion 😆. Um, yeah,not so much. If he didn't know anything about that particular subject? It was an unworthy one.
It's amazing, just how arrogant he is. But now, I know what I'm dealing with.
Thanks for all the work you do and the knowledge you share. ❤
If you disagree with them, they will ask you "Are you a narcissist?"
When the narcissist just outright accuses you of being a narcissist. Sometimes it's hard not to laugh, and you have to bite your lip, because it's your boss.
My prepared response: Nope. I'm a traumatized genius on The Spectrum. Different set of motivations to a Narcissist. You?
You could say sure, but what would that make you then? Haha
Yes, it's crazy-making, you think this cannot be serious, especially when they are the ones busting your boundaries or grabbing more, more, more for themselves at your expense. They will accuse their victims of being the narcissist and tell everyone that. It's their word against yours. This is how I learned what NPD is - when you obviously suffered but are smeared as the narcissist instead.@@edelweissdebergbaldrian7696
As I continue to educate myself on Narcissim especially listening to this particular video I think twice about reaching out to my narcissistic brother! Dr. Ramani you are excellent at what you do! TY for sharing your wisdom. ( I still miss my brother)
In social situations I keep my conversation general and positive. I do more listening. An escape I use:. I'm terribly sorry to interrupt but I must find the ladies room.....and never come back......I get caught up in another conversation or just go home.
I ain't that zen to be able to go to a happy place and practice breathing exercises while a Narscissts is blithering on. (I'd do that after but do everything to avoid it in the 1st place!)
After a short (subject matter specific) debate with my Narc son in law - I think I might have hit a trigger in him. I called him an EOE! Expert on everything. He wanted to have a physical fight with me… Great topic as usual Doc! 😊👍
I find is most annoying when the "advice" is hidden in the guise of helping, adding insult to injury. Once I did not invite a narc to a party because she was constantly one-uping me. She then accused me of being competitive. She fooled me for a while. Her presentation is one of loving, caring, nurturing...always doing things for me. It was when she demanded that I thank her whenever she did something for me that I finally saw the red flag. My challenge in all of this is to work on self esteem enough so that things that are said honestly do not affect me, and instead, I can see her desperate need for recognition, neutralizing the interaction.
That’s nuts. It really is so frustrating knowing ppl like this exist and especially when you have to deal with them. That’s how “friend” is now roommate lol. Turns out he just liked having me around bc I’m not someone who cares about what we do a whole lot and instead would just rather hang out with my friends. So I’d just go with the flow and just be myself but whenever I’d make him look bad or me better than him he’d always have to say something. It’s funny now bc I’m grey rocking him rn unless he says something first but it’s so funny how I was the only one putting in effort for our friendship when I moved in and he would give me the silent treatment for no reason. All bc he wants to use my brain for a TH-cam channel he wants to create and I told him I’m down but I got to figure my shit out bc living with my mom was not easy when I’d focus on my life. I hate saying it but you can literally feel these peoples envious towards you and it’s just crazy. It’s funny too how they think we’re stupid 😂
I am a bit hard of hearing which gets worse in situations anywhere where there are lots of people like a reception, so I use that excuse to “zone out” by politely apologizing for looking like I’m not paying attention and explain my hearing difficulty. Its a truth that I cant hear well so I’m not even lying and being asked to repeat themselves two or three times turns most people off and they let me go back to zoning out. 😊
How much that miracle body of yours helps you. Your ears refuse to hear bull shit and it's just that simple.
I do this. I tell them I'm not as good at reading lips as I once was...
This also entails them telling you how to do something. Obvious things like, how use the microwave. I'm 36. I have at least 10,000 hours practice using it.
Me:
*pokes holes in frozen microwave dinner instead of lifting 1 corner slightly for the steam*
Narc Father:
"Ok, are you trying to cook that? Ok, can i make a suggestion?"
Me:
*starts explaining about the holes*
Narc Father:
*cuts me off*
"Ok, so, you need to lift one corner for it to steam"
Me:
"Oka-"
Narc father:
"And remember to NEVER put metal in the microwave! Its dangerous"
Me:
"Ok, and always remember to wear a seat belt"
"What?"
"Oh, i thought we were giving eachother obvious advice about basic things everyone knows"
"You're so rude! Youre so stubborn. Im just trying to help you! You just want to fight! This is how you've been your whole life! You and your brothers and mom just never take advice and tips from someone who has more experience!, but no youre too proud and stubborn"
This would be fine if he did it once or twice in maybe a week or something, but he does this 17 times a day ro everyone and then blames us for our own reaction because we are not as smart as him and he's so generous giving us his experienced expertise. Its really a gift.
EYEROLL
that's literally my father
@@yee6870 you are not alone my freind 😂🤗
Ohhhhhhhhh Yes! I hate this behaviour! Know it all-ness under the guise of being ‘helpful’
Less a "gift" and more a "curse"...
A know it all narcissist always put up the show of being a genius and just wants to be admired and praised. If you try to add some information or even worse contradict them even respectfully, their narcissistic ego is hurt and you will witness their rage. A meaningful conversation is never possible with such people.
As ALWAYS, Dr. Ramani, you NAILED it -- words and body language. 😂
Did she ? I thought it was yet another pathetic crybully hate instruction thinly veiled as a how to escape victimhood video
Here's the line he always uses; "I've forgotten more than you'll ever know"! 🙄 He says this about EVERYTHING!
That has got to be one up the most condescending and grandiose statement I’ve ever heard.
I had a know it all ex narc friend who drove me bonkers with this. As I healed and grew stronger she did not like me standing up for myself or having a different opinion. She would constantly pick fights, be know it all, be condescending rude criticizing and disrespectful, constantly crossing my boundaries, to the point I finally had to end the friendship. I find so many people know it all nowadays. I for sure pick my battles and don’t engage unless I feel it’s important to speak up. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤
Literally my wife’s dad. You could be a professional in the subject he is talking about and give him advice and he would say “oh you’re just over thinking it, he’s just over thinking it.” This is why when I know he is coming over I make sure I am not available. I will leave or not engage with him.
At 69 years old I have lost all of my filters, I speak my truth, especially when there is no common sense in the world anymore.
@kalla. Good for you !!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉
You are the only one with common sense? Bit of a know it all yourself? A bit self-righteous too?
We all can play the no filters game too.
@@AlphanumericCharacterswhy did you feel the need to out yourself as a narcissist
@@yee6870 I’m not a narcissist at all. I wouldn’t say the OP is necessarily a narcissist. I have simply tired of the “got no filter” crew. There is a breakdown of civility and simple manners in our society. Everyone running around “speaking their truth”. Which typically involves being rude. Perhaps I read more into the post than is there but I was commenting on what people typically mean by that statement. Everyone at my work is brash and rude to each other. People in public are far too often brash and rude to each other. I’m quite frankly sick of it. I was raised to have manners and treat people with dignity and respect.
If the original poster was referring to certain situations that merit confrontation and tension then I apologize. If not, if they simply mean they wade through society deciding who has common sense and who doesn’t and go around popping off at the mouth giving opinions where they aren’t needed or wanted then I don’t apologize.
No joke, one of the things that scares me about narcs is that from the outside, when dealing with them you might look like the narcissist. Ex.: they're talking absolute nonsense and you tune them out? That looks like narc behavior. I have to remind myself that I'm not doing this bc I want to be the center of attention, I'm doing this to not start a fight.
I find an area that I am an absolute EXPERT in - like waterproof knowledge - then when they start acting like a know everything, I do it on purpose, I may get a small fact wrong on purpose just to get that smirk on their faces, like make them feel superior. Then I compliment them about how they knew that thing that I got wrong (on purpose). It drives up their ego that they can't control. Sometimes straight away, sometimes later they will bring up the subject again because it feels good to beat someone in their level of expertise...
This is where the fun begins, bring in a witness into the conversation that the narcissist cares about. Then as the narcissist begins to act like the expert to impress the witness, take a seat back and start friendly questioning them. Ask them HOW they came to that conclusion, because they only know surface level knowledge, they won't be able to answer. Ask them for SPECIFICS on their points and do not relent. Keep telling the narcissist things like 'I'm so confused how you think (point A) works, but it doesn't work when (point B) happens, how could you miss that?" and "Interesting, that you keep saying (X), but your explanation is (Y), can you please reconcile the two because the witness and I are confused?"
When they get something wrong, stop and stare at them or the witness with a blank face. Don't laugh nor mock, make it as uncomfortable as possible for the narcissists. Then continue to rip their arguments apart. Do not relent because you only have one chance at this.
Remember:
Key is to not ever come across aggressive or argumentative, but like termites that eat away at their pathetic know-it-all ego. They are a house of cards, one blow from you can destroy them and then you're the bad guy, but if they fall over themselves then they have no one else to blame.
They will never come at you again.
My son's girlfriend exactly. She manipulated a conversation I had with my son, I was forced to apologize, then I moved out. Too this day over a year ago , I have only seen them twice. Nowmy son never calls me. Everything is with her family. Only christmas to collect her goodies. I got a blanket while others got much nicer gifts.
They … or mine… does not understand physical body cues or facial expressions either …. He plays so dumb
Well when someone is superior to everyone one has lots to say on everything.... Snort 🙄
Try politely showing them evidence that they’re incorrect, and watch how angry they get. Their goal isn’t to give you valuable information for your benefit, it’s always for their ego, and benefit. And watch how the unwanted, and unsolicited “advice” resurfaces one day into a “you owe me”.
Brilliant. I started calling it Lecture Mode because it's always a one-sided delivery.
pretty sure I've talked ad nauseum about the knowitall-ness of my former narcs lmao! it's probably the main aspect that keeps me in this annoying mental loop. just how intensely annoying it is to deal with that kind of person and somehow I think i was in love? ugh, the shame!
Omg I loved this one! lol
You are so say it like it is and I absolutely love this about you! I am so so very grateful for you posting and helping so many. You have a very calming voice and the best education and advice out there. Thank you for being you ❤️
Agree. She’s amazing. Entertaining and hits the nail on the head, every time.
Never a dialogue its really boring conversations
I learn so much from you.
Thank you for educating us on this topic and making us aware of this psychological issue 😊