Yes after 50 yrs old in NYC I was 80% invisible. I was slim and trim and looking good. In my office building where I worked men did open the door for me but no where else. Girl prepare yourself after 60 you are completely invisible!. I believe we have the power to create our world and life. So we need to keep a very positive outlook.
Thank you for sharing, and for getting the main point of my video. I am glad it elicited other topics, and also the perspective of males and what they may deal with. What you shared is exactly what I am hearing, and noticing. I am with you! We create our world, and it's going to be a beautiful one with the right people around us. Thank you for watching and commenting! It means a lot to me.
I am considerably older than you and male so you probably won't pay any attention to my take on this but here it is anyway. You are experiencing the backlash of feminism and the Me Too movement. Women have for several years been telling men they don't need them around and to even stay away. On top of that people ARE rude these days. They are much more concerned with their lives that anything else. I will also say "welcome to my world". As a man I've been invisible to women since my mid 30's. I'm tall, in good shape and was considered handsome in my 20's. I aged out of that and it seems you have also, so welcome to the club. At least you held on longer than a man can. As I've said many times "Getting old 'aint for pussies".
Of course I will pay attention to your reply! I appreciate your time, and the time it took to share this. I read a book many years ago called Backlash...I believe it was written even before the Me Too movement...and I agree. There is a rabbit hole regarding feminism that I suspect you have gone down. I agree with so much for what you share, and your perspective from the male point of view!
Im the one who usually holds the door for others no matter their age, sex or whatever. Its amazing to me just how rude so many people are. I especially love the ones who dont even acknowledge or thank you for holding the door for them. Its sad to me to think that people are so self centered and have lost the good old act of kindness.
I held the door open for a couple of women at the post office recently. I had just walked through, and two women were following me. The first woman yelled at me, "I DON'T NEED YOU HOLDING THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME!!!" I told her I wasn't, I was holding it open for the woman behind her...
Yep, women killed chivalry. I hold doors open all the time despite their behavior. Recently, I had one woman say, "I'm liberated, but ok." A thank you would have sufficed. I thought it, but she probably would have been triggered into full Karen rage.
I have never experienced it quite that drastically, but there is definitely a culture shift going on. As a guy I can tell that less women want you to hold the door. That specific point has little to do with aging, but with a change in attitudes.
@@larsf.4756 I am hearing that a lot and definitely have to keep that in mind. I certainly wouldn't want to be yelled at for being polite either lol. Sad.
@@Shoshana_Grace If you've ever wondered why straight guys pay so little attention to their dress or grooming or appearance in general, this is why. Ask any of them when the last time a straight woman complemented on them on their appearance or even noticed it.
@@jamesdoyle2769 I see a lot of men who could most likely be straight, care about how they present themselves. It might not be in the same way as a woman, but it can be their cars, their toys, their facial hair, their clothes, their bodies. I also think men are generally judged less for their physical appearance, wouldn't you agree? That said, your point is definitely taken, and I will consider that. It's sad. It seems whatever is causing all of this, is also causing man haters AND women haters. Quite a few of them here in fact. I do appreciate your time, and I take your points seriously. Thank you.
@@Shoshana_GraceEven attractive guys or guys in authoritative positions don't get the same type of attention that women get. We don't really care either way it's just interesting that its noticeable to women
Yes, it sucks. Now you know what it feels like to be a man before he’s established himself as a six figure professional, or if he’s anything less than a nine or a 10 or under 6 feet tall
I think what you're experiencing is the withdrawal of a plethora of attention. Very attractive woman, like you, are valued very highly, because of the human instinct to reproduce with the best possible mate (to give your genes the best possible chance of getting passed on to future generations). That extreme value garners a lot of attention, so I imagine you got a lot of attention (including the undesired kind) from childhood on up, and, in your world, that was just the way life is. Most men and non-attractive females just don't get a lot of attention. As attractive women get older, they just fall back to what average people experience. That said, I wish everyone would always default to politeness and treating people with dignity and respect (until given reason to not be).
I absolutely agree with so much! I was always pretty shy, so I didn't get that much attention, but yes...as youth and consequently what is considered attractive fades...there does seem to be less acknowledgement. I think a lot of people are interpreting this topic as women suggesting they want to be hit on all the time; rather than, simply wanting to feel they exist enough to receive a courteous response lol. All that said, I completely agree with the biological aspect. It is unavoidable that what is attractive is that which is conducive to reproduction. Culture and society plays a role too. Definitely agree that there is room to be respectful unless a reason not to be is provided. Thank you for responding!
"It's culture and society"?! Youth and beauty has intrinsic value. Why would a woman without those qualities expect men to value them as if they still had those qualities? That"s a line that even the almighty feminist can"t cross.
@@asmrambioticfluid9467 a couple of things. First, the topic was not solely based on male female dynamics. If you would have listened completely, you would know that; however, it seems it’s the intrinsic nature of the basic male to go there immediately. I understand. Secondly, feminism was a campaign (created by men) used, in part, to break down the family. It’s done everything except empower women. This can be observed even here, by the number of rude, whiny, unevolved comments of disgruntled “men.” It’s pretty embarrassing. Thanks for adding to the conversation!
Thanks for the engagement! I disagree. This whole "pretty privilege" thing is perpetuated by the male standards. It certainly isn't something women provide each other in general. Conversation is a big plus to an intelligent woman. Perhaps not your strength :)
Yep, has nothing to do with the cash, prizes or privileges that women get from weak azz men, does it? 528 billion dollars for the makeup industry and not a single item was sold to a straight male. Yet men create "pretty privilege"? 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yes, because you got ran through your whole life. I have been ridiculed over the 4 years about opening doors and being chivalrous to women, my wife can attest to this. Men don’t know what you want because you still don’t know what you want at age 52. It’s so easy to find a good man, stop taking advice from other women and go approach men. Your idea of how men should act is old and is never coming back or at least not as much. Feminism has destroyed women’s minds and their standard's. So now it is in your court ladies.
Hi! Thank you so much for watching and taking the time to comment and share your experience and perspective. To be clear, I brought up this topic because I am hearing and seeing (more and more on TH-cam etc.), women saying they feel invisible after a certain age. Not necessarily because I feel that way (though it has me interested), or because I am listening to advice on how to catch a man. I am not in search, and grateful that I met what I was looking for. I am sure that is different for everyone to some extent, and I do think cultural and societal norms play a role in that. I have had a lot of men mention here (and privately), that they are indeed confused by what a woman wants as far as chivalry, and I can TOTALLY see why. There are so many mixed signals, and I personally believe there have been campaigns to destroy the family model that have set some of this confusing at play. That is a different topic I probably won't go into, but it's interesting for sure. I am sorry you were ridiculed but I am sure it was worth it to meet your wife who appreciates it! Good for you! Truly!
Yes it very much does happen. There is enough evidence that we are extremely appearance driven. As that appearance "wanes" so does our immediate responses to that person change. So as you are judged as being less "hot" so does the special treatment that men and women have been afforded.
You probably are on to something. I think social media, and where we put or focus these days (in general) is not conducive to communication and relationships. I am sure you are wonderful, and you will be seen. Thank you for your comment!
That's such a high percentage. How do you think the majority of these men end up doing as far as those who wish to have a family? It seems a lot of them manage? Are they settling or are the women? Based on your opinion of course. Thanks!
@ In the old days, it was easier for people to get together, and it seemed like the societal values were to pair off, get married, and raise families. This is no longer the norm. Hook up culture, fueled by social media and dating apps, is now the norm. By the way, the 80% figure that I came up with comes from data aggregated by Tinder, in which the women that they polled rated 80% of the men on the site as “below average”. The top 15% or so of the men on the site get half the matches. Roughly 80% of the men on the site report getting one match or less per month. Other downstream effects include the fact that about 2/3 of men under the age of 30 do not date at all, and fertility rates in the developed world are at record lows. While I admit that I do not have a full understanding as to why this is so, my intuition tells me that hookup culture has to be a factor. Would appreciate any thoughts on the subject that you have to share
Men have settled since the dawn of time. From the beginning men have dated down It's just now that men have a chance to compare notes, and the verdict is very obvious. We will no longer settle. Period.
Curious if it’s better to be invisible like a man their entire life, or get attention (both positive and negative) while younger and become invisible later.
@@dakotainthesky get a grip Robert lol!! Their entire lives?! This not about attention from the opposite sex, and even if it was, there are plenty of MEN who are just fine. Maybe you are referring to the personal ‘secks’ lives of a minority, which is not at all what this is about 🤣. I hope you enjoy your attention 😗
I get that it can be earned, just like respect. It's a little different when you are simply walking behind a person, and there is literally zero time to earn anything. Therefore, unless one is behaving completely moronic, they only thing people see is appearance. Different topic :)
@@Shoshana_Grace Chivalry is not earned; it is a trait or character you have acquired and care about; it is a badge of being a good and honest man. I never gained it; I acquired it through life's journey and held it in high regard. Earning respect and possessing chivalry are two distinct traits. You can not demand respect, as it will come from others if they choose. Chivalry is acquired through your own actions and preparations gained on your own.
@@johnmccullough6085 I completely agree that respect must be earned. What I am referring to in my very short video, with one example, is what occurs in public with strangers. If you are walking in front of someone, unless they are acting like total a$$holes, it's really hard to determine if they are worthy of your respect. I am suggesting, our actions, which could include holding a door for someone regardless of age or sex, may be determined by the appearance of others. A judgement if you will. Perhaps you open the door for everyone, or let them slam in everyones faces because they haven't earned it? That's you choice of course, and that's what I am discussing. That's all :)
You certainly aren't wrong. But its pretty hard to feel bad for older women. They are flooded with options in their 20's, 30's. Absolutely flooded. They don't even have to do anything for this to happen. It just falls into their lap. Meanwhile men, unless they are in the top 10%, get nada. Nothing, zero. And if they do, they have to work really really hard for it. So now you are older, and you get to experience what it feels like to be a man. Congratulations! Welcome!
I am not talking about "options" in this particular video or dating etc. That could be an interesting topic for someone in that boat. That said, I hear you. I see several similar comments about males who feel this way if they don't fit into the top 10%. That must feel pretty shitty! I suppose our culture along with innate biological needs, created that. If it feels better for you to think that I feel shitty too, then thanks for the warm welcome lol. Personally, I prefer to focus on lifting others up than revenge...and I feel pretty not shitty. Thank you for watching!
@@Shoshana_Grace u missed his pt. his pt is that almost all men go their entire lives being not visible. in other words, now ur experiencing what most men have experienced their entire lives. its ok, youll learn to deal w it
@@joebazooks I did get the point, and I think it's super valid and important to talk about. I don't think taking out anger and frustration at members of the opposite sex really helps though; directed at each other , rather consider what the actual underlying causes are. Maybe they are cultural, and maybe they are biological...and maybe we can do better. Ok, perhaps I took the "congratulations" part wrong, and if so, my bad :) I'm a sensitive female...Yes, I will learn how to deal with it in a way that feels good. Thank you for commenting!
No they are not always flooded, and not with high quality options either. I was 27 before any man asked me to be his girlfriend and now I am 43 and no one has ever asked me again. I'm not an ugly Betty.
There are all kinds of assumptions being made based on appearance. I suppose it's human nature, but it's almost never accurate. Thank you for sharing your real life experience.
I totally disregarded any women over 35 when I was 35. They just looked old to me particularly once they hit 40 with very few exceptions. So yes, the scores of young men who use to fawn over you just don't see you anymore. You no longer fit the bill for what they need to have a family. Now at 67, the women I find appealing and worth my time and effort range between 30 to 55. My experience was being invisible when I was under 45 whereas I now find myself inundated with opportunity and options when it come to women. I am constantly approached and given a green light without having to pursue. So yes, young men are invisible to women and society in general. It happens at the other end of life for men. Chivalry reigns down here in Houston. We say yes ma'am and open the door for our women and we are kind to everybody regardless of their station in life,,,
Thank you SO much for taking the time to watch my video, and for this open and honest perspective! I find these type of topics super interesting, and honestly I believe a lot of it is absolutely innately biological. It makes sense that you would have felt that way when you were looking for a family, and I can see how the field is much greater for a mature man versus a woman. Ahhh...good to know about Houston! I will never agree that being polite to others, is demeaning or a sign of seeing another as less than lol. Thank you again!
I'm a 2 years older than you and live in rural Michigan while holding the door for someone to me personally is an active service and something I actually enjoy doing it seems like you hit the nail on the head when you said that societally speaking that's not a typical practice anymore.
Thank you for sharing your experience and perspective!! It's super interesting, and I do think it's not a typical practice. Whether it's ageism, people being too busy, fear that the person you are being kind too will be offended (so sad!), etc. etc., it seems less in a lot of ways. I appreciate your time and response! I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner!
You giggle, but he's not wrong. A modern woman is a liability in every single instance to a man of worth. Mens default pattern is becoming indifference. Once that's implemented fully, it's all over but the crying. You see we really don't care one way or another what you do, we just want you to do it elsewhere, as in not around us. Go to your social cancers, they will help you all sleep at night, cause 99.9% of you are all do great at telling each other you are all perfect. 🤣🤣🤣
I haven't noticed that here in Canada so much ? I would hold the door open for any person regardless of age . Yes it is rude when people don't look around themselves when opening a door to see if they are closing it in someones face . People can be thoughtless when shopping and will leave their carts in the middle of the isle way while looking at the shelves . They have terrible social awareness skills and don't care if they are blocking peoples paths
Yes, I agree. It's rude not to hold a door open regardless of who is behind you. Things have shifted, and perhaps communication in real life versus online has affected that.Thank you for watching and taking the time to comment on how you experience this in Canada!
I don't understand, you say you're capable and able and you're here...yet the complaint is that men aren't paying (as much) attention...to you? You say that people are entitled in Hollywood, but you feel it's a loss of morals that people don't hold the door for you? And that chivalry, a system of values that was based on knights marrying other nobles, isn't as widespread anymore--I'm utterly confused as to what you want because there's a lot of contradictions in the video.
Yes, you are so right...you totally aren't understanding my point! Really it's a discussion and request for dialogue, not statements of what I believe to be fact. It's not about wanting more attentions, it's noticing the absence of something that used to be there, and why that might be. Thanks for watching! Maybe future follow up videos will resonate.
@@Shoshana_GraceNot at all "triggered" by anything. That "chivalry" that used to be given is now EARNED and it's never going back to the way it was. Otherwise you get courtesy and have a good day and be on your way. We really are not at all interested in the one way street and the way things have gone for the last 20+ years. Men would just as soon walk away as listen to any more of the lies, excuses and all around BS.
@@jamesOneil-mg3bq dear lord. Thank you for taking the time to respond to so many posts! I appreciate the engagement. The video was a short 5 minute's video and I used the word "chivalry" which apparently triggered some of you guys. I probably should have used the words "comment courtesy," but I think most people got it. It's interesting. I even made a follow up to help people like you understand, I was not referring to earned respect. Of course that has to be earned. I am talking about day-to-day interactions with others in society. Male/male, female/female, male/female, and NOT sexual or romantic lol. Thus, if one is walking in front of another person and going through a door, a "courteous" person would hold the door open even if they haven't had years to evaluate if the person is deserving lol. I mean, maybe you wouldn't, but maybe that's because you have pent up resentment? I don't know, I can only go by what you give. Also, and finally, this video wasn't about relationships, though I can see so many disgruntled boys here are struggling with that. Maybe 2025 will be your year! Good luck!
I think that as women age they become more beautiful because there is more depth to their soul. It really depends on what each person is looking for. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I value the stimulating conversations which emanate from an older experienced woman. I find this very beautiful. 🙏
As a man I can honestly tell you, the only reason I slowed down on holding the door was because countless times women not only where not thankful but quite frankly without saying a word clearly shat on my existence... sorry for the use of the word shat ...but it is what it is. In terms of age, and courting, as far as what happens when women get older... the space of possibility where I as a man could potentially lead and build up your life and mine together etc... that window of space closes and the likely hood I would be taken as such a gift for you closes too... I wouldn't offer myself as a gift if I were already counted as inherently rejected... all that said, yes I hold the door open for nice ladies and much older ladies all the very much more and even more often in some respects when it seems a given younger lady has associated herself in someway as resenting the whole idea that a man honoring a woman in that way, respecting her capacity to be a center of a family etc... yeah... if a younger woman is seemingly hostile it reduces the chance I would hold the door for her... though tbh still the majority of times I do hold the door open it turns out to be one such woman... I just didn't know it till I had the benefit of hindsight etc.
Thank you for sharing your experience! I am hearing this so much! That men are hesitant to be courteous because of the response they receive. I think that is a cultural shift, and I personally think it hasn't served anyone well. People seem super angry, which I can even see in some of the comments lol. I am sorry your experienced that, and on behalf of all those you held the door open for (men, women, young, old), thank you!
Thank you for taking the time to watch and comment. I did a follow up video on this, and agree. I think invisibility is something anyone can experience, at different times and for different reasons. I do think we have a choice in it to some extent as well.
@@Shoshana_Grace "Observers" United! :) Excellent...Conversations are my middle name and I believe you know that you are far from invisible...And you also express yourself effortlessly and clearly. Pretty good combination for a rising TH-camr! I have studied counseling psychology and thinking about starting my own podcast/channel. You are doing fantastic I feel.
Holding doors for people - I have noticed, 71M, that young women take a real delight in holding the door and doing other little courtesies. It's lovely. It may be changing from gender to age that gets deference.
That's such an interesting observation. Wouldn't it be lovely if we could be this way regardless. Humans....we are smart enough to mess a lot of things up. Thank you so much for your time! Truly.
It's nice....I am not in love yet. It's VERY pigmented, and a little goes a long way otherwise it looks "thick." I might like it more as a foundation. Look at shade 4. I think that might be better for you...and me lol.
@@Chucky-w this isn't a man hating topic, though I can see how this triggered people. It's a discussion about how women feel after a certain age. Some women, and questioning why that might be. If you think it's payback for what men experienced in their 20's and 30's, that's super interesting. I haven't heard much discussion on that.
This video wasn't about women seeking a husband. It is about how SOME women over a certain age express that they start to feel invisible in the world. That said, it must feel awful to be find an entire population as suspicious. How sad for you.
Today's world has gone completely bonkers in every aspect of life, including relationships between women and men. But I see you are wearing the Holy Cross of our Lord on your neck, so you will always have the light of what is true and how things should be. People of God are always young at heart and in appearance. You could easily pass as a 35-year old.
Thank you for your very kind comment, and I feel you completely got where I was coming from.The world indeed a crazy place. I hope and pray for a shift.
I'm in my mid 40s and still get hit on a lot. I think it has to do with my belief that I'm hot. Meaning, the way I carry myself and how I believe that I manifest my reality. I don't worry about becoming invisible because I don't care either way (as an introvert I'd rather not be bothered) but I notice when I start focusing on things like knee pain, feeling like I'm getting old etc I then start becoming negative and the pain is worse, I feel older. So I just focus on my workouts and positive things, and feeling hot, and it seems that others are attracted to that.
I love this and agree with you. Our attitude, and what we put our energy into totally makes a difference. To be clear, I wasn't really talking specifically about being hit on, but I can see where that would work as well. Law of attraction is a real thing for sure. Thank you SO much for your comment!
I was brought up learning from my dad and brother's to always open the doors for females and to also walk on the outer side of the sidewalks, with females on the inside, when walking together for protective reasons 😊
I LOVE that. I know some people feel it somehow diminish or demeans a woman. I respect that, but also don't agree lol. I think traditions like that are protective and beautiful.
Hi Shoshana! Firstly, I just wanted to say shoutout to you for handling the comments section so gracefully, because so many of these men are full of resentment. I mean, they’re SEETHING, and they’re unloading all of their years of pent up anger at women directly onto you, essentially a random stranger on the internet. Moving on from the crazies in the comments. I’m gay, so a lot of what you’re saying wasn’t directly relevant to me (as you said, you’re more so talking about a heterosexual man/woman dynamic) but I still found this topic very interesting, and a bit sad. Something that I’ve often thought is that we collectively don’t treat older people very well, man or woman. Little things, like not saying hi to someone when you pass them on the street, or like you said, holding door opens. No one wants to feel invisible, we are all human and are looking for connection no matter how small. I think you’re starting an important conversation and I hope this video finds the people who need to see it!
Thank you SO very very much for your kind and thoughtful response. It's literally a 5'ish minute video where I shared just one small example, and it certainly did unleash a lot of anger. Initially, I thought to do delete and never post again lol. I'm glad I paused, because even though there is SO much underlying anger and resentment. Maybe I am a good punching bag because I put myself out there for it I suppose, but the feeling are clearly very real and valid. If you look at our society, none of these things have served anyone very well. I appreciate that you shared that you are gay, because my topic really wasn't meant to be sexua in any way, and certainly not specifying to heterosexuals. Clearly, a lot of it is though and it's very eye opening for sure. I think more than anything, I was focusing on exactly what you said. That it is about connection, and feeling visible...a simple "hello," nod, smile or opening a freaking door for someone lol. I am trying to put myself in other peoples shoes as much as possible. I have studies sociology and human behavior, so it's interesting. I also see much suffering, and really mean well. I will try to keep answering gracefully though I might have slipped a little. Thank you again! You made the whole upload worth it :)
@@Shoshana_Grace I am sooo glad you saw my comment! Sending positive vibes. 💜 Keep going with your videos, I hate to sound like a cliché but don’t let the haters deter you lol. It is easy to be a member of the peanut gallery and infinitely more challenging to put yourself out there, but it’s worth it, and you’ve got a strong voice!
Thanks for your video!😊 Can you talk about moving from California to Idaho?🙏 I'm a California girl too possibly looking to move out of state eventually!😊
Hi! Thank you so much for watching, and your kind comment! I absolutely will make a video about leaving California! Thank you for your interest and great idea! :)
Do us a favor and stay. You're just going to infect the new area you go to with the same, me, me, me attitude. Colorado is an absolute garbage pit from all the liberal Cali mental rejects here. The country needs a national divorce.
As far as holding a door for someone, whether man, woman or dog, young or old, won’t let a door slam in someone’s face. It’s just rude. I notice beauty in women, even at an older age. I would probably look twice in your direction myself, not expecting anything in return.
A woman only really begins to become interesting and engaging after 45. Before that age, they are far too fickle and silly. They are still girls aren't they, also nice but little to do with them. When I was 16 I used to look admiringly at my neighbor in her late 30s. Give me class, it comes with age.
Ha ha. I can see what you mean for sure. I think many of us think we know everything when we are younger, and realize we knew very little. Thanks for commenting!
@@jamesOneil-mg3bq attraction to physical beauty is inherent. All the middle age boys here crying about being ignored, were/are looking at women who are in the "top 10% percentile" of what society and cultural norms (created greatly in part by men) deem beautiful. They aren't looking at real life women, and yet they whine about gold diggers lol. Attraction to intellect comes from those who are interesting, intelligent and evolved. That takes effort, integrity, and the absence of blaming others for ones inadequacies. Indeed, there aren't too many of those! The comment section is providing a lot of proof lol.
@Shoshana_Grace I'm old too. My wife is old too and very beautiful to me. She used to be a model, she had the ultimate pretty privilege most of her life It took her many years to set that aside
it s the age we live in, and other factors more than ever, looking older is discouraged I m 55 and look 40 maybe? I have no children, and would still want some... so I m going for 25 - 35, BUT, I LIVE my age, like ; no alcohol, like, at all! only prepared food from basic elements I do myself or 90% of the time I exercise, all sunny days, balloon - ball on a park wall I do my 'meditation - maintenance' 2x day I dress as a teenager - rock - sport 80s style I d only date you, or talk to you because I hear you here, and are smart and sound fair. on a street? I d think you re too upper class, and would see me as a bum... a 25 - 35 y old woman, casual - teen style or at least rock will accept me fine, IF I don t press and just play it peace & love, sincere, simple. teenage lover - timeless I m hurt hearing your pain, and you don t deserve any of it, but your women friends.... they like to play 'classy lady', and it s fair, but not advantageous. I lose respect looking a rock - teen... it s the price. Dynasty people style suits me good too, miami vice style, but I would nt go 'golf uncle'... heck! just the mirror would kill my morale, ha, ha. I prefer to lose respect from the young people, and stay 'cool looking', rather than a respect that looks cold. ....and it s not always easy. my advice you look good, but I d 'warm' your look with thicker eye brows a very common feminine mistake, it ages your eyes a lot, and look colder. I d dress you sport - pop, Disney colours to give you a mild cartoon look I do this myself, I avoid dark, I go 80s 'living' colours I d go for a more complex hairstyle, half long, or short BUT a long streak of hair falling to add a teen - manga look I d even risk a second colourful blue, or red to get some 'Jem doll' effect, pop punk a different style of make up, more 'risque' teen - doll attitude forget your 'grand ma' friends, they ll sink you, especially when you get younger guys... those that don t look as good as you will never be able to compete like me, you kept a nice shape, fat does nt work to attain the goal set. remember how simple and friendly 'peace & love' you used to be but be straight mature to be efficient, and you ll catch your guy. but he won t look grand pa for sure if you look like that he probably will be a simple guy to be happy with, not a rich man. the rich man might get attracted, but like me, you need to show flexibility ; some nights, I m real classy! hey, life is an experience sis, check mars & venus the book, I studied that, now I just fly though the bs, ANYONE. you ll just read who s the right guy, in his eyes! this is how MOST guys feel, fem fanatics broke women s image, 'a good person' now, some men are scared, and they ll just take the bar higher to avoid.... love. most of your friends probably do the same in their own way. the book is about relationships - human nature, and you don t really live if you don t understand that. we men looooove you! but now it s so complicated, we need books, BOTH. but love is there, alive, and God is + positive. so now you know.... God bless America and world peace good show sis!
Thank you for your super thoughtful response. Go you! Sounds like you know who you are, and what you stand for! I'm not sad at all, but thank you. I love studying human behavior, and often it's easy to study that which one has personal experience with. I hear you on the eyebrows. The '90's did a number on mine, and I can't get them thicker than they are sadly. I have learned to embrace that lol.
@@Shoshana_Grace you re quite intelligent and charming, you re at your best here, having a channel, clearly, we re partners in crime for a better world, and we shall have it sis. mars & venus, peace and love, world peace to star trek! from the modern age, to the space age, Kennedy.
I always preferred women past child bearing age and without kids. They have life experience and if they have taken care of themselves it shows. They are more likely to want a man for genuine reasons with the likelihood of something good and lasting, whereas a younger woman's needs are mainly biological then she can leave the man in financial ruin, on a whim, having got what she wanted. A mature woman is a better bet imo as a life partner.
Thank you for your reply and perspective! I have heard this from a few of my male friends, who don't want (or don't want more) children. It makes sense coming from a biological perspective!
🤣🤣🤣 The average relationship is 3 years. Just past the honeymoon phase. If women file 70+% of divorces, what do you think the ratio is in those non-marriages. Simple experiment, although I doubt you will do it. Ask every woman you know these 2 questions. 1. How many relationshits have you had over the course of your life, you probably won't get a straight answer, but that's not the point of the question. 2. Of those relationshits, how many have you ended? You'll find that number far exceeds 80%.
This SoCal man of 60 is 💯 courtesy who is keeping steady company with a feminine woman of 52 yrs. My son is 34 and treats his fiancee the same. My son in laws treat my daughters w respect courtesy and dignity. Its whom you chose associate with.😊
@@bruceboyer8187 love this!! Thank you for sharing on behalf of all the men with integrity and class! While my video was not regarding my personal experiences really, and more to do with a topic that some women claim to experience in uncontrolled environments (out and about in society), I agree! It’s the company you keep! I’ve never had so many angry, resentful, hateful men in my life until this video! 🤣 Personal responsibility is tough for some I suppose. Thank you! Your comment overshadows ALL of theirs! Congratulations on raising an amazing son, and your beautiful family! You might consider becoming a coach for males!! You’d make a killing!! 😃🙏 Happy holidays!
You are very tappable! The culture has changed for sure! Men have let the crazy women dictate their behavior. Men are frightened of rejection and will go to extremes to avoid it.
lol, thank you? Yes, for sure...culture and societal expectation have caused some problems. It's negatively affecting everyone, and definitely not conducive to a respectful future. Maybe things will improve.
I hit the jackpot at 40! Met single, never married, no kids, half latvian half Anglo 6 foot mortgage free bmw driving real estate agent who hates bars from a high status family who is loyal, trustworthy, and good morals. He loved pretty blondes with big boobs. To keep this guy, all l have to do is not go out on girls nights, no day drinking with women out on the town, be supportive and be his number one fan at all times. I'm not allowed breast reduction surgery but when out, I'm not allowed to dress showy, must be demure. We just got back from the wine region downsouth 2 days ago. Had my period so it was just us going to vineyards. Guy is very hot. He keeps himself in shape. We are same age. I got him cos we are similar ppl with similar values. I have no children which was on his list. I saw a spiritual healer to help me find the one. We fight all the time cos he is a jerk. He is bossy. I love Hitler and he is a Neo Con. We fight over politics a lot. 5:42
Yes after 50 yrs old in NYC I was 80% invisible. I was slim and trim and looking good. In my office building where I worked men did open the door for me but no where else. Girl prepare yourself after 60 you are completely invisible!. I believe we have the power to create our world and life. So we need to keep a very positive outlook.
Thank you for sharing, and for getting the main point of my video. I am glad it elicited other topics, and also the perspective of males and what they may deal with. What you shared is exactly what I am hearing, and noticing. I am with you! We create our world, and it's going to be a beautiful one with the right people around us. Thank you for watching and commenting! It means a lot to me.
I am considerably older than you and male so you probably won't pay any attention to my take on this but here it is anyway. You are experiencing the backlash of feminism and the Me Too movement. Women have for several years been telling men they don't need them around and to even stay away. On top of that people ARE rude these days. They are much more concerned with their lives that anything else. I will also say "welcome to my world". As a man I've been invisible to women since my mid 30's. I'm tall, in good shape and was considered handsome in my 20's. I aged out of that and it seems you have also, so welcome to the club. At least you held on longer than a man can. As I've said many times "Getting old 'aint for pussies".
Of course I will pay attention to your reply! I appreciate your time, and the time it took to share this. I read a book many years ago called Backlash...I believe it was written even before the Me Too movement...and I agree. There is a rabbit hole regarding feminism that I suspect you have gone down. I agree with so much for what you share, and your perspective from the male point of view!
Your last point: literally it is too
Im the one who usually holds the door for others no matter their age, sex or whatever. Its amazing to me just how rude so many people are. I especially love the ones who dont even acknowledge or thank you for holding the door for them. Its sad to me to think that people are so self centered and have lost the good old act of kindness.
@@unfinishedandunstoppable it’s SO rude and very very sad. Keep holding the door…it means more than you know to someone 💜
It's got something to do with your culture and maybe city life. I don't see that kind of rudeness much
@@LinguisticLifeform I think that surely has a big factor!
I held the door open for a couple of women at the post office recently. I had just walked through, and two women were following me. The first woman yelled at me, "I DON'T NEED YOU HOLDING THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME!!!" I told her I wasn't, I was holding it open for the woman behind her...
Gosh, that is so gross. I'm sorry she was so incredibly rude to you, and for the things in our culture that made her feel that way. Good response!
Cool story, bro
Yep, women killed chivalry. I hold doors open all the time despite their behavior. Recently, I had one woman say, "I'm liberated, but ok." A thank you would have sufficed. I thought it, but she probably would have been triggered into full Karen rage.
I have never experienced it quite that drastically, but there is definitely a culture shift going on. As a guy I can tell that less women want you to hold the door. That specific point has little to do with aging, but with a change in attitudes.
@@larsf.4756 I am hearing that a lot and definitely have to keep that in mind. I certainly wouldn't want to be yelled at for being polite either lol. Sad.
A guy experiences this everyday of his life
@@amanpianoandjesus5268 that’s terrible it that’s your experience. Thanks for sharing.
@@Shoshana_Grace If you've ever wondered why straight guys pay so little attention to their dress or grooming or appearance in general, this is why. Ask any of them when the last time a straight woman complemented on them on their appearance or even noticed it.
@@jamesdoyle2769 I see a lot of men who could most likely be straight, care about how they present themselves. It might not be in the same way as a woman, but it can be their cars, their toys, their facial hair, their clothes, their bodies. I also think men are generally judged less for their physical appearance, wouldn't you agree? That said, your point is definitely taken, and I will consider that. It's sad. It seems whatever is causing all of this, is also causing man haters AND women haters. Quite a few of them here in fact. I do appreciate your time, and I take your points seriously. Thank you.
@@Shoshana_GraceEven attractive guys or guys in authoritative positions don't get the same type of attention that women get. We don't really care either way it's just interesting that its noticeable to women
@@Shoshana_Graceit's 80% of men's experience.....so sorry if guys don't have a lot of sympathy for older women.....
Yes, it sucks. Now you know what it feels like to be a man before he’s established himself as a six figure professional, or if he’s anything less than a nine or a 10 or under 6 feet tall
@@scottyb.8710 the root cause of this is probably the same. At least in part. Thank you for sharing the male counterpart. It’s important.
This is not an accurate comment at all. Unless you’re only interested in superficial women.
Nobody wants a woman over 40.
Hard pill to swallow........but true.
lol. False. Maybe that's your experience as someone who had very little attention. Work on the personality ;)
I think what you're experiencing is the withdrawal of a plethora of attention. Very attractive woman, like you, are valued very highly, because of the human instinct to reproduce with the best possible mate (to give your genes the best possible chance of getting passed on to future generations). That extreme value garners a lot of attention, so I imagine you got a lot of attention (including the undesired kind) from childhood on up, and, in your world, that was just the way life is. Most men and non-attractive females just don't get a lot of attention. As attractive women get older, they just fall back to what average people experience. That said, I wish everyone would always default to politeness and treating people with dignity and respect (until given reason to not be).
I absolutely agree with so much! I was always pretty shy, so I didn't get that much attention, but yes...as youth and consequently what is considered attractive fades...there does seem to be less acknowledgement. I think a lot of people are interpreting this topic as women suggesting they want to be hit on all the time; rather than, simply wanting to feel they exist enough to receive a courteous response lol. All that said, I completely agree with the biological aspect. It is unavoidable that what is attractive is that which is conducive to reproduction. Culture and society plays a role too. Definitely agree that there is room to be respectful unless a reason not to be is provided. Thank you for responding!
"It's culture and society"?! Youth and beauty has intrinsic value. Why would a woman without those qualities expect men to value them as if they still had those qualities? That"s a line that even the almighty feminist can"t cross.
@@asmrambioticfluid9467 a couple of things. First, the topic was not solely based on male female dynamics. If you would have listened completely, you would know that; however, it seems it’s the intrinsic nature of the basic male to go there immediately. I understand.
Secondly, feminism was a campaign (created by men) used, in part, to break down the family. It’s done everything except empower women. This can be observed even here, by the number of rude, whiny, unevolved comments of disgruntled “men.” It’s pretty embarrassing.
Thanks for adding to the conversation!
Mens best bet is to just treat women with basic politeness but not to engage in ANY unnecessary conversation. Women created this reality.
Thanks for the engagement! I disagree. This whole "pretty privilege" thing is perpetuated by the male standards. It certainly isn't something women provide each other in general. Conversation is a big plus to an intelligent woman. Perhaps not your strength :)
@Shoshana_Grace my wife of 30 yrs has no issues. Where's YOUR spouse, smarty pants.
Yep, has nothing to do with the cash, prizes or privileges that women get from weak azz men, does it?
528 billion dollars for the makeup industry and not a single item was sold to a straight male. Yet men create "pretty privilege"?
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yes, because you got ran through your whole life. I have been ridiculed over the 4 years about opening doors and being chivalrous to women, my wife can attest to this. Men don’t know what you want because you still don’t know what you want at age 52.
It’s so easy to find a good man, stop taking advice from other women and go approach men. Your idea of how men should act is old and is never coming back or at least not as much.
Feminism has destroyed women’s minds and their standard's. So now it is in your court ladies.
Hi! Thank you so much for watching and taking the time to comment and share your experience and perspective. To be clear, I brought up this topic because I am hearing and seeing (more and more on TH-cam etc.), women saying they feel invisible after a certain age. Not necessarily because I feel that way (though it has me interested), or because I am listening to advice on how to catch a man. I am not in search, and grateful that I met what I was looking for. I am sure that is different for everyone to some extent, and I do think cultural and societal norms play a role in that. I have had a lot of men mention here (and privately), that they are indeed confused by what a woman wants as far as chivalry, and I can TOTALLY see why. There are so many mixed signals, and I personally believe there have been campaigns to destroy the family model that have set some of this confusing at play. That is a different topic I probably won't go into, but it's interesting for sure. I am sorry you were ridiculed but I am sure it was worth it to meet your wife who appreciates it! Good for you! Truly!
Yes it very much does happen. There is enough evidence that we are extremely appearance driven. As that appearance "wanes" so does our immediate responses to that person change. So as you are judged as being less "hot" so does the special treatment that men and women have been afforded.
Thank you for watching and your response!
“Pretty privilege” is real
@@devilsadvocacyyes and it's extent out impact is not realised until it starts to disappear. It just seems normal.
...out...or
I'm 60 male, invisible too. I am fairly decent looking. I flirt and make friends. Everyone is too busy.
You probably are on to something. I think social media, and where we put or focus these days (in general) is not conducive to communication and relationships. I am sure you are wonderful, and you will be seen. Thank you for your comment!
Welcome to the life of the 80% average man
That's such a high percentage. How do you think the majority of these men end up doing as far as those who wish to have a family? It seems a lot of them manage? Are they settling or are the women? Based on your opinion of course. Thanks!
@ In the old days, it was easier for people to get together, and it seemed like the societal values were to pair off, get married, and raise families. This is no longer the norm. Hook up culture, fueled by social media and dating apps, is now the norm. By the way, the 80% figure that I came up with comes from data aggregated by Tinder, in which the women that they polled rated 80% of the men on the site as “below average”. The top 15% or so of the men on the site get half the matches. Roughly 80% of the men on the site report getting one match or less per month.
Other downstream effects include the fact that about 2/3 of men under the age of 30 do not date at all, and fertility rates in the developed world are at record lows. While I admit that I do not have a full understanding as to why this is so, my intuition tells me that hookup culture has to be a factor.
Would appreciate any thoughts on the subject that you have to share
Men have settled since the dawn of time. From the beginning men have dated down
It's just now that men have a chance to compare notes, and the verdict is very obvious. We will no longer settle. Period.
Curious if it’s better to be invisible like a man their entire life, or get attention (both positive and negative) while younger and become invisible later.
@@dakotainthesky get a grip Robert lol!! Their entire lives?! This not about attention from the opposite sex, and even if it was, there are plenty of MEN who are just fine. Maybe you are referring to the personal ‘secks’ lives of a minority, which is not at all what this is about 🤣. I hope you enjoy your attention 😗
@ typical shaming language. Thank you for replying 😉
@@dakotainthesky You get what you give honey. You are most welcome.
chivalry is earned from showing absolute appreciation.
I get that it can be earned, just like respect. It's a little different when you are simply walking behind a person, and there is literally zero time to earn anything. Therefore, unless one is behaving completely moronic, they only thing people see is appearance. Different topic :)
@@Shoshana_Grace Chivalry is not earned; it is a trait or character you have acquired and care about; it is a badge of being a good and honest man. I never gained it; I acquired it through life's journey and held it in high regard. Earning respect and possessing chivalry are two distinct traits. You can not demand respect, as it will come from others if they choose. Chivalry is acquired through your own actions and preparations gained on your own.
@@johnmccullough6085 I completely agree that respect must be earned. What I am referring to in my very short video, with one example, is what occurs in public with strangers. If you are walking in front of someone, unless they are acting like total a$$holes, it's really hard to determine if they are worthy of your respect. I am suggesting, our actions, which could include holding a door for someone regardless of age or sex, may be determined by the appearance of others. A judgement if you will. Perhaps you open the door for everyone, or let them slam in everyones faces because they haven't earned it? That's you choice of course, and that's what I am discussing. That's all :)
You certainly aren't wrong. But its pretty hard to feel bad for older women. They are flooded with options in their 20's, 30's. Absolutely flooded. They don't even have to do anything for this to happen. It just falls into their lap. Meanwhile men, unless they are in the top 10%, get nada. Nothing, zero. And if they do, they have to work really really hard for it. So now you are older, and you get to experience what it feels like to be a man. Congratulations! Welcome!
I am not talking about "options" in this particular video or dating etc. That could be an interesting topic for someone in that boat. That said, I hear you. I see several similar comments about males who feel this way if they don't fit into the top 10%. That must feel pretty shitty! I suppose our culture along with innate biological needs, created that. If it feels better for you to think that I feel shitty too, then thanks for the warm welcome lol. Personally, I prefer to focus on lifting others up than revenge...and I feel pretty not shitty. Thank you for watching!
@@Shoshana_Grace u missed his pt. his pt is that almost all men go their entire lives being not visible. in other words, now ur experiencing what most men have experienced their entire lives. its ok, youll learn to deal w it
@@joebazooks I did get the point, and I think it's super valid and important to talk about. I don't think taking out anger and frustration at members of the opposite sex really helps though; directed at each other , rather consider what the actual underlying causes are. Maybe they are cultural, and maybe they are biological...and maybe we can do better. Ok, perhaps I took the "congratulations" part wrong, and if so, my bad :) I'm a sensitive female...Yes, I will learn how to deal with it in a way that feels good. Thank you for commenting!
No they are not always flooded, and not with high quality options either. I was 27 before any man asked me to be his girlfriend and now I am 43 and no one has ever asked me again. I'm not an ugly Betty.
There are all kinds of assumptions being made based on appearance. I suppose it's human nature, but it's almost never accurate. Thank you for sharing your real life experience.
I totally disregarded any women over 35 when I was 35. They just looked old to me particularly once they hit 40 with very few exceptions. So yes, the scores of young men who use to fawn over you just don't see you anymore. You no longer fit the bill for what they need to have a family.
Now at 67, the women I find appealing and worth my time and effort range between 30 to 55. My experience was being invisible when I was under 45 whereas I now find myself inundated with opportunity and options when it come to women. I am constantly approached and given a green light without having to pursue. So yes, young men are invisible to women and society in general. It happens at the other end of life for men.
Chivalry reigns down here in Houston. We say yes ma'am and open the door for our women and we are kind to everybody regardless of their station in life,,,
Thank you SO much for taking the time to watch my video, and for this open and honest perspective! I find these type of topics super interesting, and honestly I believe a lot of it is absolutely innately biological. It makes sense that you would have felt that way when you were looking for a family, and I can see how the field is much greater for a mature man versus a woman. Ahhh...good to know about Houston! I will never agree that being polite to others, is demeaning or a sign of seeing another as less than lol. Thank you again!
I'm a 2 years older than you and live in rural Michigan while holding the door for someone to me personally is an active service and something I actually enjoy doing it seems like you hit the nail on the head when you said that societally speaking that's not a typical practice anymore.
Thank you for sharing your experience and perspective!! It's super interesting, and I do think it's not a typical practice. Whether it's ageism, people being too busy, fear that the person you are being kind too will be offended (so sad!), etc. etc., it seems less in a lot of ways. I appreciate your time and response! I'm sorry I didn't reply sooner!
YES - FUN TIME only - smart men do NOT DATE or MARRY
🤣
You giggle, but he's not wrong.
A modern woman is a liability in every single instance to a man of worth.
Mens default pattern is becoming indifference.
Once that's implemented fully, it's all over but the crying.
You see we really don't care one way or another what you do, we just want you to do it elsewhere, as in not around us.
Go to your social cancers, they will help you all sleep at night, cause 99.9% of you are all do great at telling each other you are all perfect.
🤣🤣🤣
I haven't noticed that here in Canada so much ? I would hold the door open for any person regardless of age . Yes it is rude when people don't look around themselves when opening a door to see if they are closing it in someones face . People can be thoughtless when shopping and will leave their carts in the middle of the isle way while looking at the shelves . They have terrible social awareness skills and don't care if they are blocking peoples paths
Yes, I agree. It's rude not to hold a door open regardless of who is behind you. Things have shifted, and perhaps communication in real life versus online has affected that.Thank you for watching and taking the time to comment on how you experience this in Canada!
I don't understand, you say you're capable and able and you're here...yet the complaint is that men aren't paying (as much) attention...to you?
You say that people are entitled in Hollywood, but you feel it's a loss of morals that people don't hold the door for you? And that chivalry, a system of values that was based on knights marrying other nobles, isn't as widespread anymore--I'm utterly confused as to what you want because there's a lot of contradictions in the video.
Yes, you are so right...you totally aren't understanding my point! Really it's a discussion and request for dialogue, not statements of what I believe to be fact. It's not about wanting more attentions, it's noticing the absence of something that used to be there, and why that might be. Thanks for watching! Maybe future follow up videos will resonate.
She’s simply acknowledging a change she has noticed. Are you ok?
@@shawnalambert7221 they are utterly triggered by the word "chivalry."
@@Shoshana_GraceNot at all "triggered" by anything.
That "chivalry" that used to be given is now EARNED and it's never going back to the way it was.
Otherwise you get courtesy and have a good day and be on your way.
We really are not at all interested in the one way street and the way things have gone for the last 20+ years. Men would just as soon walk away as listen to any more of the lies, excuses and all around BS.
@@jamesOneil-mg3bq dear lord. Thank you for taking the time to respond to so many posts! I appreciate the engagement. The video was a short 5 minute's video and I used the word "chivalry" which apparently triggered some of you guys. I probably should have used the words "comment courtesy," but I think most people got it. It's interesting. I even made a follow up to help people like you understand, I was not referring to earned respect. Of course that has to be earned. I am talking about day-to-day interactions with others in society. Male/male, female/female, male/female, and NOT sexual or romantic lol. Thus, if one is walking in front of another person and going through a door, a "courteous" person would hold the door open even if they haven't had years to evaluate if the person is deserving lol. I mean, maybe you wouldn't, but maybe that's because you have pent up resentment? I don't know, I can only go by what you give. Also, and finally, this video wasn't about relationships, though I can see so many disgruntled boys here are struggling with that. Maybe 2025 will be your year! Good luck!
they chase chads till 35 an then nobody wants them 🤣
Thanks Chad!
I think that as women age they become more beautiful because there is more depth to their soul.
It really depends on what each person is looking for.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I value the stimulating conversations which emanate from an older experienced woman.
I find this very beautiful. 🙏
@@MrSoulpatrol1 never go full simp
Would you rather women choose men they’re not attracted to? Do men do that, lol?
@@mashae.1066
M0r0n
You are becoming a ghost. You are fading away like people walking down a movie street as they fade away to nothing. Congratulations.😊
@@ey67 cool! Thank you 👻
As a man I can honestly tell you, the only reason I slowed down on holding the door was because countless times women not only where not thankful but quite frankly without saying a word clearly shat on my existence... sorry for the use of the word shat ...but it is what it is. In terms of age, and courting, as far as what happens when women get older... the space of possibility where I as a man could potentially lead and build up your life and mine together etc... that window of space closes and the likely hood I would be taken as such a gift for you closes too... I wouldn't offer myself as a gift if I were already counted as inherently rejected... all that said, yes I hold the door open for nice ladies and much older ladies all the very much more and even more often in some respects when it seems a given younger lady has associated herself in someway as resenting the whole idea that a man honoring a woman in that way, respecting her capacity to be a center of a family etc... yeah... if a younger woman is seemingly hostile it reduces the chance I would hold the door for her... though tbh still the majority of times I do hold the door open it turns out to be one such woman... I just didn't know it till I had the benefit of hindsight etc.
Thank you for sharing your experience! I am hearing this so much! That men are hesitant to be courteous because of the response they receive. I think that is a cultural shift, and I personally think it hasn't served anyone well. People seem super angry, which I can even see in some of the comments lol. I am sorry your experienced that, and on behalf of all those you held the door open for (men, women, young, old), thank you!
Women are not invisible. When i see them, I run away.
🤣best response yet! lol
Yes...
And it's not an age or sex thing. We are all invisible. Until we aren't.
Thank you for taking the time to watch and comment. I did a follow up video on this, and agree. I think invisibility is something anyone can experience, at different times and for different reasons. I do think we have a choice in it to some extent as well.
@@Shoshana_Grace I agree and I watched the follow up too. Thank you for the response and subscribed!
@@whoever_81 thank you so much! I truly appreciate it! I am an "observer" too :) Look forward to more conversations.
@@Shoshana_Grace "Observers" United! :) Excellent...Conversations are my middle name and I believe you know that you are far from invisible...And you also express yourself effortlessly and clearly. Pretty good combination for a rising TH-camr! I have studied counseling psychology and thinking about starting my own podcast/channel. You are doing fantastic I feel.
As a fit 50 year old man, you have it right, you are invisible.
Just like how you treated average men for years. Invest in a cat
Consider jiujitsu. It builds character. Thanks for the engagement!
Holding doors for people - I have noticed, 71M, that young women take a real delight in holding the door and doing other little courtesies. It's lovely. It may be changing from gender to age that gets deference.
That's such an interesting observation. Wouldn't it be lovely if we could be this way regardless. Humans....we are smart enough to mess a lot of things up. Thank you so much for your time! Truly.
I am 42 and have 100% noticed a difference in how I’m treated by men out in the world. 😭
It's nice....I am not in love yet. It's VERY pigmented, and a little goes a long way otherwise it looks "thick." I might like it more as a foundation. Look at shade 4. I think that might be better for you...and me lol.
they treat you the way you treated them in your 20's and 30's
you shouldn't base your value and happiness on how men treat you
@@Chucky-w this isn't a man hating topic, though I can see how this triggered people. It's a discussion about how women feel after a certain age. Some women, and questioning why that might be. If you think it's payback for what men experienced in their 20's and 30's, that's super interesting. I haven't heard much discussion on that.
@@Chucky-w And how did YOU treat women you weren't attracted to in your 20s and 30s??
If a woman is over and 40 and single she is very suspect.
What ex manlost his kids or house or pension and future income.
This video wasn't about women seeking a husband. It is about how SOME women over a certain age express that they start to feel invisible in the world. That said, it must feel awful to be find an entire population as suspicious. How sad for you.
Your PROBLEM is entitlement . . respect is earned . . not given . . even for women . . .
Agree that respect is earned. Disagree with that being my "problem." Agree with your profile image. Thanks for watching!
Today's world has gone completely bonkers in every aspect of life, including relationships between women and men. But I see you are wearing the Holy Cross of our Lord on your neck, so you will always have the light of what is true and how things should be.
People of God are always young at heart and in appearance. You could easily pass as a 35-year old.
People of which god?
Thank you for your very kind comment, and I feel you completely got where I was coming from.The world indeed a crazy place. I hope and pray for a shift.
@@leviathon2 The one with a capitalized "G", Who died on the Cross for our sins and will soon return.
@ Thanks for clarifying. There are so many gods these days it’s hard to keep up. Hope your god has a good time when she gets here.
@@leviathon2you know what a cross represents lol. Do you 😘
I'm in my mid 40s and still get hit on a lot. I think it has to do with my belief that I'm hot. Meaning, the way I carry myself and how I believe that I manifest my reality. I don't worry about becoming invisible because I don't care either way (as an introvert I'd rather not be bothered) but I notice when I start focusing on things like knee pain, feeling like I'm getting old etc I then start becoming negative and the pain is worse, I feel older. So I just focus on my workouts and positive things, and feeling hot, and it seems that others are attracted to that.
I love this and agree with you. Our attitude, and what we put our energy into totally makes a difference. To be clear, I wasn't really talking specifically about being hit on, but I can see where that would work as well. Law of attraction is a real thing for sure. Thank you SO much for your comment!
I was brought up learning from my dad and brother's to always open the doors for females and to also walk on the outer side of the sidewalks, with females on the inside, when walking together for protective reasons 😊
I LOVE that. I know some people feel it somehow diminish or demeans a woman. I respect that, but also don't agree lol. I think traditions like that are protective and beautiful.
Hi Shoshana! Firstly, I just wanted to say shoutout to you for handling the comments section so gracefully, because so many of these men are full of resentment. I mean, they’re SEETHING, and they’re unloading all of their years of pent up anger at women directly onto you, essentially a random stranger on the internet.
Moving on from the crazies in the comments. I’m gay, so a lot of what you’re saying wasn’t directly relevant to me (as you said, you’re more so talking about a heterosexual man/woman dynamic) but I still found this topic very interesting, and a bit sad. Something that I’ve often thought is that we collectively don’t treat older people very well, man or woman. Little things, like not saying hi to someone when you pass them on the street, or like you said, holding door opens. No one wants to feel invisible, we are all human and are looking for connection no matter how small. I think you’re starting an important conversation and I hope this video finds the people who need to see it!
Thank you SO very very much for your kind and thoughtful response. It's literally a 5'ish minute video where I shared just one small example, and it certainly did unleash a lot of anger. Initially, I thought to do delete and never post again lol. I'm glad I paused, because even though there is SO much underlying anger and resentment. Maybe I am a good punching bag because I put myself out there for it I suppose, but the feeling are clearly very real and valid. If you look at our society, none of these things have served anyone very well. I appreciate that you shared that you are gay, because my topic really wasn't meant to be sexua in any way, and certainly not specifying to heterosexuals. Clearly, a lot of it is though and it's very eye opening for sure. I think more than anything, I was focusing on exactly what you said. That it is about connection, and feeling visible...a simple "hello," nod, smile or opening a freaking door for someone lol. I am trying to put myself in other peoples shoes as much as possible. I have studies sociology and human behavior, so it's interesting. I also see much suffering, and really mean well. I will try to keep answering gracefully though I might have slipped a little. Thank you again! You made the whole upload worth it :)
@@Shoshana_Grace I am sooo glad you saw my comment! Sending positive vibes. 💜 Keep going with your videos, I hate to sound like a cliché but don’t let the haters deter you lol. It is easy to be a member of the peanut gallery and infinitely more challenging to put yourself out there, but it’s worth it, and you’ve got a strong voice!
@@gordonabishop Thank you so very very much! You are wonderful. Love your videos! You are incredibly funny and creative.
ahhhh thank you so much!! 😱💜
Thanks for your video!😊
Can you talk about moving from California to Idaho?🙏
I'm a California girl too possibly looking to move out of state eventually!😊
Hi! Thank you so much for watching, and your kind comment! I absolutely will make a video about leaving California! Thank you for your interest and great idea! :)
@@Shoshana_Grace Yay I can't wait!🙏 I've been wanting to leave forever but my whole family is here in OC so I've felt stuck!😭
Do us a favor and stay.
You're just going to infect the new area you go to with the same, me, me, me attitude.
Colorado is an absolute garbage pit from all the liberal Cali mental rejects here.
The country needs a national divorce.
If I see you in Northern Mi.
I will definitely be getting the door for you !
My pleasure !!
Awww thank you! If I was walking ahead of you, I would do the same :)
As far as holding a door for someone, whether man, woman or dog, young or old, won’t let a door slam in someone’s face. It’s just rude. I notice beauty in women, even at an older age. I would probably look twice in your direction myself, not expecting anything in return.
Thank you so much for your kind comment :) I agree, rude is rude. There is almost never an excuse for it.
A woman only really begins to become interesting and engaging after 45. Before that age, they are far too fickle and silly.
They are still girls aren't they, also nice but little to do with them.
When I was 16 I used to look admiringly at my neighbor in her late 30s.
Give me class, it comes with age.
Ha ha. I can see what you mean for sure. I think many of us think we know everything when we are younger, and realize we knew very little. Thanks for commenting!
You and very few others.
@@jamesOneil-mg3bq attraction to physical beauty is inherent. All the middle age boys here crying about being ignored, were/are looking at women who are in the "top 10% percentile" of what society and cultural norms (created greatly in part by men) deem beautiful. They aren't looking at real life women, and yet they whine about gold diggers lol. Attraction to intellect comes from those who are interesting, intelligent and evolved. That takes effort, integrity, and the absence of blaming others for ones inadequacies. Indeed, there aren't too many of those! The comment section is providing a lot of proof lol.
Who cares? You are old. Deal with it.
What a troll. Get a life dude.
Thank you for taking the time to respond, even though you don't care :) Hugs!
@Shoshana_Grace I'm old too. My wife is old too and very beautiful to me. She used to be a model, she had the ultimate pretty privilege most of her life It took her many years to set that aside
@@NeverTakeNoCut-offs thank you for sharing that! I am glad you are both happy, and I am sure this will inspire others.
Such an important topic! 100 %
I think so!
it s the age we live in, and other factors
more than ever, looking older is discouraged
I m 55 and look 40 maybe?
I have no children, and would still want some...
so I m going for 25 - 35, BUT, I LIVE my age, like ;
no alcohol, like, at all!
only prepared food from basic elements I do myself or 90% of the time
I exercise, all sunny days, balloon - ball on a park wall
I do my 'meditation - maintenance' 2x day
I dress as a teenager - rock - sport 80s style
I d only date you, or talk to you because I hear you here, and are smart and sound fair.
on a street? I d think you re too upper class, and would see me as a bum...
a 25 - 35 y old woman, casual - teen style or at least rock will accept me fine,
IF I don t press and just play it peace & love, sincere, simple.
teenage lover - timeless
I m hurt hearing your pain, and you don t deserve any of it, but your women friends....
they like to play 'classy lady', and it s fair, but not advantageous.
I lose respect looking a rock - teen... it s the price.
Dynasty people style suits me good too, miami vice style,
but I would nt go 'golf uncle'... heck! just the mirror would kill my morale, ha, ha.
I prefer to lose respect from the young people, and stay 'cool looking', rather than a respect that looks cold.
....and it s not always easy.
my advice
you look good, but I d 'warm' your look with thicker eye brows
a very common feminine mistake, it ages your eyes a lot, and look colder.
I d dress you sport - pop, Disney colours to give you a mild cartoon look
I do this myself, I avoid dark, I go 80s 'living' colours
I d go for a more complex hairstyle, half long, or short BUT a long streak of hair falling to add a teen - manga look
I d even risk a second colourful blue, or red to get some 'Jem doll' effect, pop punk
a different style of make up, more 'risque' teen - doll
attitude
forget your 'grand ma' friends, they ll sink you, especially when you get younger guys...
those that don t look as good as you will never be able to compete
like me, you kept a nice shape, fat does nt work to attain the goal set.
remember how simple and friendly 'peace & love' you used to be
but be straight mature to be efficient, and you ll catch your guy.
but he won t look grand pa for sure if you look like that
he probably will be a simple guy to be happy with, not a rich man.
the rich man might get attracted, but like me, you need to show flexibility
; some nights, I m real classy!
hey, life is an experience sis, check mars & venus the book, I studied that,
now I just fly though the bs, ANYONE.
you ll just read who s the right guy, in his eyes!
this is how MOST guys feel, fem fanatics broke women s image, 'a good person'
now, some men are scared, and they ll just take the bar higher to avoid.... love.
most of your friends probably do the same in their own way.
the book is about relationships - human nature, and you don t really live if you don t understand that.
we men looooove you! but now it s so complicated, we need books, BOTH.
but love is there, alive, and God is + positive.
so now you know....
God bless America and world peace
good show sis!
Thank you for your super thoughtful response. Go you! Sounds like you know who you are, and what you stand for! I'm not sad at all, but thank you. I love studying human behavior, and often it's easy to study that which one has personal experience with. I hear you on the eyebrows. The '90's did a number on mine, and I can't get them thicker than they are sadly. I have learned to embrace that lol.
@@Shoshana_Grace you re quite intelligent and charming, you re at your best here, having a channel, clearly, we re partners in crime for a better world, and we shall have it sis. mars & venus, peace and love, world peace to star trek! from the modern age, to the space age, Kennedy.
I always preferred women past child bearing age and without kids. They have life experience and if they have taken care of themselves it shows. They are more likely to want a man for genuine reasons with the likelihood of something good and lasting, whereas a younger woman's needs are mainly biological then she can leave the man in financial ruin, on a whim, having got what she wanted. A mature woman is a better bet imo as a life partner.
Thank you for your reply and perspective! I have heard this from a few of my male friends, who don't want (or don't want more) children. It makes sense coming from a biological perspective!
🤣🤣🤣
The average relationship is 3 years. Just past the honeymoon phase.
If women file 70+% of divorces, what do you think the ratio is in those non-marriages.
Simple experiment, although I doubt you will do it.
Ask every woman you know these 2 questions.
1. How many relationshits have you had over the course of your life, you probably won't get a straight answer, but that's not the point of the question.
2. Of those relationshits, how many have you ended?
You'll find that number far exceeds 80%.
Injustice??????😂😂😂😂😂
Where is your husband?
Thanks Joe! Appreciate the engagement!
She has a great one. Lemme guess, you’re single? 🥴
This SoCal man of 60 is 💯 courtesy who is keeping steady company with a feminine woman of 52 yrs. My son is 34 and treats his fiancee the same. My son in laws treat my daughters w respect courtesy and dignity. Its whom you chose associate with.😊
@@bruceboyer8187 love this!! Thank you for sharing on behalf of all the men with integrity and class! While my video was not regarding my personal experiences really, and more to do with a topic that some women claim to experience in uncontrolled environments (out and about in society), I agree! It’s the company you keep! I’ve never had so many angry, resentful, hateful men in my life until this video! 🤣 Personal responsibility is tough for some I suppose. Thank you! Your comment overshadows ALL of theirs! Congratulations on raising an amazing son, and your beautiful family! You might consider becoming a coach for males!! You’d make a killing!! 😃🙏 Happy holidays!
I hope i look as good as you when im in my 50s
That is very kind of you to say :) Thank you for watching!
Holding the door open for someone isn't chivalrous, it is common courtesy.
@@StephanieG1 I agree. I will use that word the next time I speak about this. Thank you 😊
You are very tappable! The culture has changed for sure! Men have let the crazy women dictate their behavior. Men are frightened of rejection and will go to extremes to avoid it.
lol, thank you? Yes, for sure...culture and societal expectation have caused some problems. It's negatively affecting everyone, and definitely not conducive to a respectful future. Maybe things will improve.
I hit the jackpot at 40! Met single, never married, no kids, half latvian half Anglo 6 foot mortgage free bmw driving real estate agent who hates bars from a high status family who is loyal, trustworthy, and good morals.
He loved pretty blondes with big boobs.
To keep this guy, all l have to do is not go out on girls nights, no day drinking with women out on the town, be supportive and be his number one fan at all times. I'm not allowed breast reduction surgery but when out, I'm not allowed to dress showy, must be demure.
We just got back from the wine region downsouth 2 days ago. Had my period so it was just us going to vineyards.
Guy is very hot. He keeps himself in shape.
We are same age.
I got him cos we are similar ppl with similar values. I have no children which was on his list.
I saw a spiritual healer to help me find the one.
We fight all the time cos he is a jerk. He is bossy.
I love Hitler and he is a Neo Con. We fight over politics a lot. 5:42
Sounds like you have a relationship that really works for the both of you! Wonderful!
😅 I see not everyone read to the last sentence of your comment. Nice 😂
@ I read it! 🤣