I appreciate that your channel feels like an autistic channel FOR autistic people. There are other creators that also feel that way, but there are many others that feel directed to a wide audience. Of course it is also important to teach allistic people about autism and help undiagnosed autistic people learn about themselves and start their self acceptance journey.. but as an autistic watcher of autistic videos it can often feel like being "taught" the same things over and over that I already know about my own traits. Having content that is FOR autistic people is just as important to have on youtube.
this is so exactly why i needed this persons channel like this is the ONLY channel that i feel is for my well being and not the general publics "understanding"
As someone who has been forced into exposure therapy my whole life, hearing that “avoid” is the first best way to self regulate is so affirming, thank you for all of your informative videos 🙏
I am AuDHD. I was also also a ABA therapist before I was diagnosed. I quit because 98% of my co-workers in ABA hated autism people, spoke of them and treated them like bad broken animals. Most of the parents were very self pittying narcissistic Aholes who just want their child "fixed" or want to be told they are heros for not abandoning them.😢 It was sad and once I get diagnosed I was constantly told I wasn't worthy of being a therapist because I "autistic. "
Oh this sounds terrible :( and I feel the same way about parents who want to be treated like heroes for raising autistic children! It’s a sentiment I see often on social media that always irks me so much. They’ll flat out say that they don’t love their child and do below the bare minimum for them, but still get praised for doing nothing but keeping themselves from physically abusing their child😔. This emotionally negligent attitude towards autistic children shouldn’t be normalized, much less praised! I’m glad you got out of that toxic work environment, you deserve better. I also have a lot of bad experiences with therapists in regards to my autism. It’s unfortunate how common these experiences are.
I've been diagnosed with depression and ADHD. I'm also easily overwhelmed. Sometimes I have this feeling that I'm overstimulated and understimulated at the same time. Doing nothing is not enough, doing anything is too much. Sometimes it takes me like 1-2 hours in the middle of the day to get rid of that feeling. Thank you for this video ❤
Growing up, I never ever wanted to interact with my dad and thus try to avoid other males like the plague. My dad has caused so much stress and sensory overload that I choose to avoid him like the plague. I try to avoid any environments or social situations that have more males in them than females. Males only stress me out way too much; I want to avoid ALL males at all costs. I live in a city where I have strong feelings that I'm not welcome because of my autism; I just want to get away from there. I have to use intellect instead of intuition since using intuition is something that I have no ability to do. I've been put into way too many situations and social environments that caused me to feel too bombarded; I basically stay in my apartment presently except to get food to eat. I appreciate you posting these videos, because I feel at ease when a woman explains things than a man; I never ever trusted other males in my life. [in tears] Irene, I appreciate what you do and providing much needed information on a variety of topics that people with autism like us, it helps me to understand my autism better. I worked very hard to integrate my autism into my life.
Seems you had a very bad time growing up with a father like that. I hope you can heal slowly by following some of these tips. And staying away from those triggers. Its ok to stay far away from toxic people.
1:34 As a teacher with ADHD (and researching the possibility of autism), sometimes I'm like damn can I also have a designated area I can go to whenever I need to freak out or cry or calm down that isn't the staff bathroom 😭 Truly I wish the accommodations and supports could also be extended to adults but once you're working and "adult job," reasonable accommodation goes down the drain no matter how much you're entitled to and beg for it. In my experience, it can result in loss of job, reduced hours, being passed up for promos, so on. And this goes doubley so for teachers despite being put into a million overstimulating situations all day long because we MUST be present to teach, then are also expected to be a therapist, a mediator, an example, a parent, a fkn superhero, etc etc 😵💫 There's no time for us to pee or take a deep breath bc there's a massive teacher shortage yet such intense job demands for those who stick with it. So do we not also deserve help despite everything we do for the students? Especially adults with low trait/high masking NDs who might be overlooked. Sometimes I just can't handle it, and IMO teachers shouldn't be expected to internalize it. Like, I was subbing for a kindergarten class the other day and was almost in tears/almost had a meltdown of sorts when this student who had been defying me all morning proceeded to hug and cling to me no matter how many times I held her back and repeated "personal space, please, no more hugs" until another teacher came and saved me 😅 Give adults more accommodations, basically
I've been nearing burnout lately. I tried sensory deprivation with white noise and I woke up the next day with an unusual amount of energy... Thank you!!
This is it. This is the video that makes the most sense after a weeklong binge of videos on how to deal with autistic burnout. My body lives in fight-or-flight.
L-Theanine is a fantastic natural supplement that can help with any type of anxiety. Doctors prescribe Propranolol (beta blocker) for the fight or flight. It’s known as the “stage fright pill” and it’s good to have in case of emergency.
I’m a child with autism and ADHD, I thank u, while I struggled to listen to what ur actually saying since I was too overwhelmed, ur voice calmed me. I’ll definitely go and rewatch it when I feel slightly better so I can actually comprehend what u are saying. I thank u a lot. ☺️
@@sand_eater101 I cannot explain how much that comment means to me. I’m sorry-not-sorry to inform you, that you have someone who will NEVER forget your existence.❤️ (sometimes people don’t know if I’m trying to insult or complement them, so just in case your confused, the point is you made me very happy. Hope that makes sense.)
@@Kiwiisdumb-32112i wish nothing but the best for you, you also made my day by commenting and i’m tearing up. i wish i could go back and time and give my younger undiagnosed self a hug, so here’s a virtual hug for you in exchange 🩷🤎🩵
I have been struggling so bad with meltdown. I have been thinking and researching about autism. The more am reading the more I know am autistic. I watched this video after having 2 meltdowns in less then a week. This video was a major eye opener for me. I feel like you where talking to me telling me am not alone. I’m struggling finding people to talk to that understand me and all my weirdness. I feel like a teenager in a 44 year old body. I feel like this video is just what I needed. Thank you ❤
This is really amazing life changing information that all autistic people need to know! I recently started taking vitamin d supplements, cut out dairy and caffeine and gave myself a strict morning and evening routine and it's changed my life so much. I have so much more energy and way less anxiety. I was trying therapy before which helped but not as much as these physical things. I never put it together that the physical things that are the most important so thank you! I've had my assessment and getting my diagnosis hopefully on Friday. I would love coaching but after just paying for the assessment I need to build up some savings again before I do but I would definitely sign up to any kind of membership you were offering because your videos have been so helpful and I would go as far to say that I have gotten more out of your videos than any other autistic youtuber.
Physical routines are soo so important to us!! I have a pretty strict morning and evening routine too and the benefits are significant. I’ll probably make videos in the future giving tips on how to build your own routine! But yes definitely gonna try to get a membership system set up soon 🤗 thanks for watching!
@@thethoughtspot222 I would be so grateful for your advice and guidance on routines. I want to experience the benefits of having them but need to overcome a strange resistance to them (even though I know I need them) as well as being so fatigued I don't know where to start or how to wrap my head around the whole idea. I Hope you do make video/s about this subject and how to create and integrate routines for living well as autistic 🧜♀️💖🙏💕
@@thethoughtspot222what about those of us with ADHD and intense demand avoidance as well as autism who struggle maintaining routines?! I would love more structure but I struggle so much with sticking to ANYTHING.
I was incorrectly diagnosed as bipolar. For months during the most stressful time in my life i was having multiple meltdowns a day for months. To the point of experiencing psychosis. I got put on meds that numbed me and eventually came off of them. They saved my life at the time but once i got my world to a manageable state the "bipolar" went away, which we all know doesnt happen. So i was reevaluated and knowing that autism is actually whats going on has literally explained my entire life and brought me peace. Thanks for these tips im going through your entire channel right now 😅 Edit: typos
I’m waiting for the results on a psych evaluation, but I am pretty sure I’m autistic. It is really hard to deal with meltdowns as an adult because people think you’re acting like a child or they don’t understand why you can’t “just stop crying.” Learning about autism the past several months has shed a lot of light for me on why my “panic attacks” don’t seem to be panic attacks. I’ve always been yelled at by my mom for having a meltdown, but of course she never knew that I was probably autistic. Even then, yelling at your child or adult child who is on the floor curled up in a ball sobbing is probably not the best route to take. She always just wants me make me shut up I think. Working is really hard because I have to force myself into a very uncomfortable environment that causes a lot of sensory overwhelm for me. I think I would die of embarrassment if I had a meltdown at work where people could see me. I’ve gone out to my car when I’ve felt one coming on. It’s just the worst. I’m hoping to receive my diagnosis so I can receive accommodations at work, because they keep taking away the things that help me (no use of headphones, we used to be fully remote but now they do not allow that & we are hybrid. My meltdowns & exhaustion/burnout has increased so much since January when we became hybrid & I could no longer work fully from home).
I'm in the stage of realizing as a young adult that I am most likely autistic and examining my life until now under that lense. The talk about sensory deprivation and other recovery brings back memories of high school, haha. I would come home every day and immediately fall asleep face-down on the couch for about 3 years straight, absolutely exhausted every day
i realized the need for physical self-care recently and i've sort of sought out stimming that i would have repressed or not have done before like fidgeting, singing, dancing (and idk if this counts but also i stretch out my spine and that relieves a lot of the physical stress i feel from chronic pain) naturally as a form of self care and learning more about autism makes me realize even more the importance of it
they see me in the group, knowing I'm aspie, think I am being unfriendly which I am not, yet as you say are overstimulated into going essentially mute and largely unable to think they plain leave me alone until I have to exit to a solitary place for pulling my pieces back together the next day I wake normally with a migraine, and always spending hours alone laying down with blinders and deafeners on you 💞 young lady are such a blessing to us out here ! stay🌷special
Thank you so much for this! I want to describe my experience, maybe someone will find it helpful. Not knowing, that I'm autistic, I managed (partly by sheer luck) to organize my life in a way that makes my life much easier. With the pandemic, I was enabled to start working from home and it changed my life. I can socialize when I want to but I can do in on my conditions. I don't have to commute by car/by bus, which I always found really exhausting. Instead, I am able to find some time to do sport/yoga almost every day, which is a privilege that not many adults have. I can deal with home chores in tiny chunks - I don't have to devote e.g. whole Saturday for the house maintenance. I have two small kids and I think that this re-organization saved a lot of my mental health. Still, without understanding, that I'm in spectrum I was feeling a lot of guilt and pressure and I needed to take antidepressants and go to therapy. Only my psychologist (I can't thank her more) helped me realize that that's just who I am and there are parts of me that I just can't change.
I am in a very deep part of my chronic burnout with recurring meltdowns. Have'nt wathed yet but wanted to get that out there. I anticipate your content and have subscribed. 🖖
Your videos are wonderful. I refuse to not work full-time and your videos help me understand some of the mysterious mental / physical struggles I experience.
I loved your description of what causes a meltdown for you and how you react! Do you ever feel that people discount your autistic experience (or if you even have self-doubt) because you’re able to articulate your experience with self-awareness? I struggle with this because I have very textbook experiences but because I can explain them (sometimes) I don’t think the people around take me seriously if that makes sense!
I wouldn't bother telling 99% of people about my autism, you really can't expect them to understand the subtle complexities of this kind of disorder. We are very much still in the dark ages of psychology and mental health, and though it's getting better over time, I'm pretty sure most Boomers if you tell them the word autism they probably conflate it with down syndrome or something and so if you "look or talk normal" then what could possibly be wrong with you? 😅 But even more developed people aren't really gonna be able to understand this at all unless they have their own mental health challenges, and even then you should expect some kind of ignorance or stigma to speak through them in one way or another even if they have the best intentions.... We need to support each other and I honestly think there's very little payoff in telling most people about your autism. Your setting yourself up to get hurt when your really looking for support or compassion. I've done enough of that 😂
I recently found out I have level 1 autism and having been researching it constantly and I’m so glad I found your videos they make so much sense and give me such peace of mind. Thank you for everything you do 😊
Hi! I am Japanese, and I came to realize that I have autistic symptoms, very mild one for the first time in my life by watching your videos. what makes me suffer in my real life is that the autistic characters led me to developing strong social anxiety like "being afraid of other people. " have you created any theme relating social phobia in your video?
Honestly, I have something similar. I have social anxiety form bad social experiences in the past. It makes my meltdowns more frequent, especially when I feel like I lack social control. I also get nervous and overthink leading up to social situations, for fear that I might say something that makes people uncomfortable.
I really really appreciate this channel. I’ve been coming to terms with my adhd and austism. I didn’t know what it looked like or what it even means. I just knew that I have this constant society pressure to function that I learned to survive and be high functioning. More so often to the point I functioned myself to the ground. I’m an artist, a content creator but I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t just- go…why I couldn’t just do what all my peers were doing and why I struggle with burnout. I did not realize how much not giving myself accommodations have been leading gross expectations on myself. I have to unlearn so many things. This channel has been so humanizing and helpful. Thank you.
Your content is so important to me. Thank you so very much for sharing your knowledge with us in such an accessible way. You are a huge source of comfort for me, and my life is slowly improving as I apply tips you have suggested. I wish I could pay you what I really think you're worth, but I unfortunately am not a lottery winner. I still wanted to show support for your work though 💕
Wow this is a paradigm shift!!! I’ve been half doing it already, my tentative way of dealing is by « filling my tanks » which means attending to my physics needs and sensory needs to build up a bundle of energy and then I can engage with the world and build myself up emotionally and then once that’s done I can deal with my trauma and think of being productive! It’s very hard because I have no safe island to retreat to, I must be my own island. I have seagulls that pass from time to time, but the main theme is isolation and fear that my next relationship will be another abusive one where a socially apt person stands in my social blind spots and start « grooming » me for whatever. At least my physical health is within reach 😔
I found this extremely helpful, Thank you so much! Take care of the body first. This makes so much sense to me it's a revelation..! I was diagnosed this year, aged 37, and have had chronic fatigue syndrome for the past 5 years. I am learning now just how much it is connected to living so long not knowing I'm autistic and the strain my system has been under since childhood that was just my "normal" as I didn't know any different. And that it could be years long autistic burnout, which I didn't know about til discovering my own autism. I want to heal now and learn how to integrate being autistic into my life in a successfully positive way. I'm so glad I found this video, it's really stood out to me. I'm looking forward to more of your videos, Thank you 🧜♀️💖🙏💕
Even though I knew my anxiety created my gastrointestinal issues, it never clicked that it was related to my autism until now! Thanks Irene! Gosh, I was diagnosed in April and all of this is such a relief.
I am a late diagnosis, 32. I am struggling. I have been my whole life but I really appreciate having this. Thank you for your hard work and insight. I feel so alone in my life. I really only have myself and this information really empowers me to live a more manageable life. Idk if I'll ever be happy or healthy but like I'm not negatively affecting the world anymore and that's much better than my previous existence. Thank you.
I would like to have more tips on how to analyze our stims if possible? I have no idea how to know what stims are energizing me. I feel like the things that energize me are substances (tea and coffee) or seeing others be productive in a very esthetic way? And when stim i often notice it is when im overwhelmed/there are too many people around me.
I sometimes watch videos of this lady decorating her house and I find it soooooo soothing and I love to watch people being productive especially if they’re really graceful in their actions 😍
I so agree with all of this, and i also feel as though its impossible for me to be able to reach physical wellness. As a result of being in a constant state of nervous system activation, unable to relax (even in massage, i could feel myself automatically step out of the relaxation as it was happening, so i could get back familiar. i've been left with chronic fatigue syndrome, forcing me to finally face all of this. It took 6 months of that last 10 months of being off work, to get to a place where I was even willing to accept being off work. Now I cant even get to a place of physical wellness because Im not longer able to exert myself as it sends me straight into a crash. It is SO normal for me to be stressed. my heart rate is wild. my thoughts have no where else to go. but stay stuck in my body. And I cant even tell where it is in my body untill its an emergency. it acuatlly makes life so so hard
im glad i found your channel. im currently in a job where the sensory input is crazy, im not allowed to wear my ear buds, and i have to work at a crazy pace to keep up with the load. in recent years ive started to unmask not knowing i had autism and just thinking i had ADHD. turns out i have both and things have become difficult, especially with this current job. im trying to find a new job that will better work with my autism and your videos are helping me figure things out.
This is so, so helpful! I never knew how much physical wellbeing (gut health especially) had an effect on what was going on in the brain until these last few months researching it. I wasn't unhealthy but I wasn't taking care of myself as much as I should have. Life has been much easier after understanding the connections and taking steps to address them.
i really like listening to you talk about autism.. I feel like a lot of other resources are generally like psychologists and the way they talk about is very othering but you make it more human. thanks
A very interesting video! I'm struggling with autistic burnout and I learned a lot about stress! I knew stress was bad but now I understand its mechanisms. I can see now how to think about my needs and what boundaries look like. The way you explain informations is very visual and easy to understand. I will definitely watch more of your videos! 😊 Just a little detail (I'm sorry if it's inappropriate to say that, I'm saying this to help) : when you quote an article you should cite it in description, especially when you quote it a lot, because the author could bother you or accuse you of plagiarism. It could also help viewers to read the articles in details if they are interested 😊 Love from France ❤
In the part you talked about theraphy I realized that my therapist used a more psychoanalytic and dialectic approach rather than the typical CBT and I am glad that she used these approaches. I don't know whether she realized that I was an ADHDer before i got diagnosed or she thought that I was autistic, but I believe using these approaches might better help autistic individuals who struggle with alexithymia or anyone who needs more than intellectualizing their emotions
i love ur videos sm. the substance and execution is so perfect. Thank you for the work u put into making them bc its life saving and so meaningful to feel seen and informed and your SO mindful in approaching the topic in a constructive and understanding. hope you have great success in life cus its clear how important it is to u to help and ur presence in the world is making me feel safe rn.
I’m researching stuff about autism in adults with a desperation for knowledge to try and help my relationships. I have found there is so little resources and I’m blessed to have found your channel. Thank you! -an adult with autism
Thank you SO much for this video!!! I just discovered your channel today and you are the most helpful and supportive autistic channel I have found. I am currently self diagnosed AuDHD since March 2021. But I’m working to get my courage up to go to a doctor. You’ve already helped me formulate my thoughts and I’m only 3 videos in…..this video in particular gave me such relief because I’ve never heard anyone actually provide tips for dealing with meltdowns, shutdowns and burnouts. You even described a scenario that can cause a meltdown for you. Keep doing what you’re doing all of it is so helpful and validating. I don’t normally comment bc I’m long winded 🤣 but had to share feedback and tell you how awesome this content is. Thank you thank you thank you 🥹🥹🥹🥹
This video was very helpful. There's things that I didn't even realize could be signs of meltdowns that I also experience. All of these videos are helpful and informative.
I just found your channel this week and I’m so glad I did. I enjoy listening to your perspective as it helps me to understand myself in a way that I have not been able to do before. I also appreciate your tips and although it’s only been a few days, I have found them to be helpful. Thank you for the work you do. 💜
Found your TH-cams over the weekend and I'm hooked! Excited to check out your Etsy and to "join" your page with a subscription!! Thank you so much for offering this content; it's been super relatable and helpful.
I wonder how you developed the language of these things. I notice all the things to be true intuitively and have tried to verbalize the observations, I didn’t have the data you have to support what I was observing like you do. I like this
I agree so much! It's such a relief to have someone verbalize exactly how you are feeling and to know you're not on your own and have someone else put it into words is HUGE
There are times when my wife says I love you to me, i feel like I am.going through the motions when i say it back to her. I do love her but there are times when i feel nothing. I call it the drained bathtub, little flecks of what should be there but are gone drained away.
I'm so happy to live in a country where public health gives me access to professionals specialized in Adult Autism. Brazil has a lot of problems but at least we have this.
Any tips on helping a person who is a danger to themselves or others when having a meltdown? I know that restraint is not a good option so what are some alternatives to stop violent behaviour?
Chronic stress is absolutely toxic to the body. I have psoriatic arthritis which was triggered by stress. It is debilitating and without taking immunosuppressants I literally can’t get out of bed or do anything because my joints get so flared up. It’s caused permanent damage to my joints and because of the meds I take, if I get Covid I have to be off work for 20 days (my work only has 80 hrs/yr of sick pay). I work in healthcare so I have been wearing a mask consistently since we had to back in 2020. I can’t afford to be sick.
You described my my meltdowns feel so well, as well as what triggers them. I had one yesterday after my sister got mad at me suddenly and it was really traumatic.
You guys are not meant to be exactly like everybody else, so stop trying to be. Yeah, do your best to fit in at say, work or someplace like that, so that you don't have to suffer any more than necessary. But the reality is....... that there will always be that 10-20 % of people in society that are always a little bit different and honestly, they can sometimes see things from a different angle than everyone else. which can help you to see problems from a different perspective and then solve them. I love some of these types of people and love to be around them for that reason. I am not saying to just go out there be a complete dork, and not make any effort trying to fit in to society, but if you have to go off on your own and doing your own thing more often in order to be happier. survive. or just unwind, then so be it. It is what it is & if some people don't like it, then they can just go hell!!!!
As everyone else has said, truly helpful and truthful information. I subbed! Just an aside - pls hear me in the kindest way possible - use “many times” or “some of the time” or “at times” rather than using “times” after the article “the”. “The” signals that the next word is singular (time), not plural (times). Yes this is probably my autistic brain talking! 😂 love your content!
Oh.. the section about stress and physical problems... that was just so real for me a few years ago. I literally was diagnosed with gastroparesis, aka a paralyzed stomach. It turned out to not be chronic in my case, but rather a phenomenon induced by stress. And they couldn't find anything tangible in test results.. holy shit... And talking about ever present stress🥲👍 because our baseline is struggling
Yesss!! I become nonverbal when I’m having a meltdown as well, for all the reasons you stated & more 🥹 This helped me so much!!! I definitely took notes 🤓 thank you Irene!! 🤗🙏🏽💖
Thank you so much for this video, it has been very helpful! I totally agree with the bottom up approach to healing, and have been contemplating doing a somatic therapy coaching program so I can help myself and others...this has encouraged me to continue this journey for myself. So much appreciations for your voice in a fairly dark corner of the universe. As someone with level one/Asperger's, it has been so hard to navigate a world that oppresses neurodivergent people.
Not this shooting across my radar when I'm literally being placed on medical leave for grief induced burnout haha Good timing but feeling called the heck out right meow.
This was so helpful. The thing Im struggling with his that my toddler is a huge part of my sensory overload. Not exactly something i can take out of my life.
I’m a late diagnosed autistic adult. Diagnosed after many tests to figure out why I’m experiencing exhaustion and wanting to retire from teaching. I’m in search of a support group and help getting out of burnout. My adult daughter is autistic. We are both diagnosed adhd as well.
Do people with ADHD have this? I will get tested for ASD someday. Those episodes got worse when I had a stressful event happening in my life over and over. How can we prevent someone to touch us or follow us during a meltdown?
For me it's so difficult to identify my soothing stims... I am 27, still going into autism assessment but pretty sure I am autistic. I suspected only 6 months ago so still a lot to learn about myself and autism. It's been hard 😅
I appreciate that your channel feels like an autistic channel FOR autistic people. There are other creators that also feel that way, but there are many others that feel directed to a wide audience. Of course it is also important to teach allistic people about autism and help undiagnosed autistic people learn about themselves and start their self acceptance journey.. but as an autistic watcher of autistic videos it can often feel like being "taught" the same things over and over that I already know about my own traits. Having content that is FOR autistic people is just as important to have on youtube.
this is so exactly why i needed this persons channel like this is the ONLY channel that i feel is for my well being and not the general publics "understanding"
Yasssss!
Im so happy you mentioned how autism affects your physical health!! NOBODY talks about that!
As someone who has been forced into exposure therapy my whole life, hearing that “avoid” is the first best way to self regulate is so affirming, thank you for all of your informative videos 🙏
I am AuDHD. I was also also a ABA therapist before I was diagnosed. I quit because 98% of my co-workers in ABA hated autism people, spoke of them and treated them like bad broken animals. Most of the parents were very self pittying narcissistic Aholes who just want their child "fixed" or want to be told they are heros for not abandoning them.😢 It was sad and once I get diagnosed I was constantly told I wasn't worthy of being a therapist because I "autistic. "
Oh this sounds terrible :( and I feel the same way about parents who want to be treated like heroes for raising autistic children! It’s a sentiment I see often on social media that always irks me so much. They’ll flat out say that they don’t love their child and do below the bare minimum for them, but still get praised for doing nothing but keeping themselves from physically abusing their child😔. This emotionally negligent attitude towards autistic children shouldn’t be normalized, much less praised!
I’m glad you got out of that toxic work environment, you deserve better. I also have a lot of bad experiences with therapists in regards to my autism. It’s unfortunate how common these experiences are.
I've been diagnosed with depression and ADHD. I'm also easily overwhelmed. Sometimes I have this feeling that I'm overstimulated and understimulated at the same time. Doing nothing is not enough, doing anything is too much. Sometimes it takes me like 1-2 hours in the middle of the day to get rid of that feeling. Thank you for this video ❤
Growing up, I never ever wanted to interact with my dad and thus try to avoid other males like the plague. My dad has caused so much stress and sensory overload that I choose to avoid him like the plague. I try to avoid any environments or social situations that have more males in them than females. Males only stress me out way too much; I want to avoid ALL males at all costs. I live in a city where I have strong feelings that I'm not welcome because of my autism; I just want to get away from there. I have to use intellect instead of intuition since using intuition is something that I have no ability to do. I've been put into way too many situations and social environments that caused me to feel too bombarded; I basically stay in my apartment presently except to get food to eat. I appreciate you posting these videos, because I feel at ease when a woman explains things than a man; I never ever trusted other males in my life. [in tears] Irene, I appreciate what you do and providing much needed information on a variety of topics that people with autism like us, it helps me to understand my autism better. I worked very hard to integrate my autism into my life.
Seems you had a very bad time growing up with a father like that. I hope you can heal slowly by following some of these tips. And staying away from those triggers. Its ok to stay far away from toxic people.
1:34 As a teacher with ADHD (and researching the possibility of autism), sometimes I'm like damn can I also have a designated area I can go to whenever I need to freak out or cry or calm down that isn't the staff bathroom 😭 Truly I wish the accommodations and supports could also be extended to adults but once you're working and "adult job," reasonable accommodation goes down the drain no matter how much you're entitled to and beg for it. In my experience, it can result in loss of job, reduced hours, being passed up for promos, so on.
And this goes doubley so for teachers despite being put into a million overstimulating situations all day long because we MUST be present to teach, then are also expected to be a therapist, a mediator, an example, a parent, a fkn superhero, etc etc 😵💫 There's no time for us to pee or take a deep breath bc there's a massive teacher shortage yet such intense job demands for those who stick with it. So do we not also deserve help despite everything we do for the students? Especially adults with low trait/high masking NDs who might be overlooked.
Sometimes I just can't handle it, and IMO teachers shouldn't be expected to internalize it. Like, I was subbing for a kindergarten class the other day and was almost in tears/almost had a meltdown of sorts when this student who had been defying me all morning proceeded to hug and cling to me no matter how many times I held her back and repeated "personal space, please, no more hugs" until another teacher came and saved me 😅
Give adults more accommodations, basically
I've been nearing burnout lately. I tried sensory deprivation with white noise and I woke up the next day with an unusual amount of energy... Thank you!!
This makes me so happy!!
I was nearing it and googled it there where any tips and didn't find any now I'm in burn out lol I'm glad you found some
This is it. This is the video that makes the most sense after a weeklong binge of videos on how to deal with autistic burnout. My body lives in fight-or-flight.
L-Theanine is a fantastic natural supplement that can help with any type of anxiety.
Doctors prescribe Propranolol (beta blocker) for the fight or flight. It’s known as the “stage fright pill” and it’s good to have in case of emergency.
oohh the first meltdown trigger was spot on..and I only realised through this video that is what happens!
I’m a child with autism and ADHD, I thank u, while I struggled to listen to what ur actually saying since I was too overwhelmed, ur voice calmed me. I’ll definitely go and rewatch it when I feel slightly better so I can actually comprehend what u are saying. I thank u a lot. ☺️
As an older overwhelmed autistic kid, you made my day merely by commenting. You sweet soul, I wish so many blessings on you❤️
@@sand_eater101 I cannot explain how much that comment means to me. I’m sorry-not-sorry to inform you, that you have someone who will NEVER forget your existence.❤️
(sometimes people don’t know if I’m trying to insult or complement them, so just in case your confused, the point is you made me very happy. Hope that makes sense.)
youre both lovely ppl and i too am an overwhelmed older autistic person
@@Kiwiisdumb-32112i wish nothing but the best for you, you also made my day by commenting and i’m tearing up. i wish i could go back and time and give my younger undiagnosed self a hug, so here’s a virtual hug for you in exchange 🩷🤎🩵
@@Kiwiisdumb-32112hope you're okay buddy 🤍
This woman has saved me this last week when I had a total meltdown and nearly left a job opportunity I never had before in my life. Thank you ❤❤❤❤
I have been struggling so bad with meltdown. I have been thinking and researching about autism. The more am reading the more I know am autistic. I watched this video after having 2 meltdowns in less then a week. This video was a major eye opener for me. I feel like you where talking to me telling me am not alone. I’m struggling finding people to talk to that understand me and all my weirdness. I feel like a teenager in a 44 year old body. I feel like this video is just what I needed. Thank you ❤
This is really amazing life changing information that all autistic people need to know! I recently started taking vitamin d supplements, cut out dairy and caffeine and gave myself a strict morning and evening routine and it's changed my life so much. I have so much more energy and way less anxiety. I was trying therapy before which helped but not as much as these physical things. I never put it together that the physical things that are the most important so thank you! I've had my assessment and getting my diagnosis hopefully on Friday. I would love coaching but after just paying for the assessment I need to build up some savings again before I do but I would definitely sign up to any kind of membership you were offering because your videos have been so helpful and I would go as far to say that I have gotten more out of your videos than any other autistic youtuber.
Physical routines are soo so important to us!! I have a pretty strict morning and evening routine too and the benefits are significant. I’ll probably make videos in the future giving tips on how to build your own routine! But yes definitely gonna try to get a membership system set up soon 🤗 thanks for watching!
@@thethoughtspot222 Yes please do :)
@@thethoughtspot222 I would be so grateful for your advice and guidance on routines. I want to experience the benefits of having them but need to overcome a strange resistance to them (even though I know I need them) as well as being so fatigued I don't know where to start or how to wrap my head around the whole idea. I Hope you do make video/s about this subject and how to create and integrate routines for living well as autistic 🧜♀️💖🙏💕
@@thethoughtspot222what about those of us with ADHD and intense demand avoidance as well as autism who struggle maintaining routines?! I would love more structure but I struggle so much with sticking to ANYTHING.
@@laurenhebert4245what symptoms do you have with burnout
I was incorrectly diagnosed as bipolar. For months during the most stressful time in my life i was having multiple meltdowns a day for months. To the point of experiencing psychosis. I got put on meds that numbed me and eventually came off of them. They saved my life at the time but once i got my world to a manageable state the "bipolar" went away, which we all know doesnt happen. So i was reevaluated and knowing that autism is actually whats going on has literally explained my entire life and brought me peace. Thanks for these tips im going through your entire channel right now 😅
Edit: typos
I'm so happy for you that the right diagnosis was found! 🎉
I’m waiting for the results on a psych evaluation, but I am pretty sure I’m autistic. It is really hard to deal with meltdowns as an adult because people think you’re acting like a child or they don’t understand why you can’t “just stop crying.” Learning about autism the past several months has shed a lot of light for me on why my “panic attacks” don’t seem to be panic attacks. I’ve always been yelled at by my mom for having a meltdown, but of course she never knew that I was probably autistic. Even then, yelling at your child or adult child who is on the floor curled up in a ball sobbing is probably not the best route to take. She always just wants me make me shut up I think.
Working is really hard because I have to force myself into a very uncomfortable environment that causes a lot of sensory overwhelm for me. I think I would die of embarrassment if I had a meltdown at work where people could see me. I’ve gone out to my car when I’ve felt one coming on. It’s just the worst. I’m hoping to receive my diagnosis so I can receive accommodations at work, because they keep taking away the things that help me (no use of headphones, we used to be fully remote but now they do not allow that & we are hybrid. My meltdowns & exhaustion/burnout has increased so much since January when we became hybrid & I could no longer work fully from home).
Wow I relate to this so much, I am AuDHD
I'm in the stage of realizing as a young adult that I am most likely autistic and examining my life until now under that lense. The talk about sensory deprivation and other recovery brings back memories of high school, haha. I would come home every day and immediately fall asleep face-down on the couch for about 3 years straight, absolutely exhausted every day
i realized the need for physical self-care recently and i've sort of sought out stimming that i would have repressed or not have done before like fidgeting, singing, dancing (and idk if this counts but also i stretch out my spine and that relieves a lot of the physical stress i feel from chronic pain) naturally as a form of self care and learning more about autism makes me realize even more the importance of it
they see me in the group, knowing I'm aspie, think I am being unfriendly which I am not, yet as you say are overstimulated into going essentially mute and largely unable to think
they plain leave me alone until I have to exit to a solitary place for pulling my pieces back together
the next day I wake normally with a migraine, and always spending hours alone laying down with blinders and deafeners on
you 💞 young lady are such a blessing to us out here !
stay🌷special
It has been the hardest unimaginable journey
Thank you so much for this! I want to describe my experience, maybe someone will find it helpful. Not knowing, that I'm autistic, I managed (partly by sheer luck) to organize my life in a way that makes my life much easier. With the pandemic, I was enabled to start working from home and it changed my life. I can socialize when I want to but I can do in on my conditions. I don't have to commute by car/by bus, which I always found really exhausting. Instead, I am able to find some time to do sport/yoga almost every day, which is a privilege that not many adults have. I can deal with home chores in tiny chunks - I don't have to devote e.g. whole Saturday for the house maintenance. I have two small kids and I think that this re-organization saved a lot of my mental health. Still, without understanding, that I'm in spectrum I was feeling a lot of guilt and pressure and I needed to take antidepressants and go to therapy. Only my psychologist (I can't thank her more) helped me realize that that's just who I am and there are parts of me that I just can't change.
I am in a very deep part of my chronic burnout with recurring meltdowns. Have'nt wathed yet but wanted to get that out there. I anticipate your content and have subscribed. 🖖
Your videos are wonderful. I refuse to not work full-time and your videos help me understand some of the mysterious mental / physical struggles I experience.
I loved your description of what causes a meltdown for you and how you react! Do you ever feel that people discount your autistic experience (or if you even have self-doubt) because you’re able to articulate your experience with self-awareness? I struggle with this because I have very textbook experiences but because I can explain them (sometimes) I don’t think the people around take me seriously if that makes sense!
I can relate to what you said about self awareness 100% it’s been one of the hardest things to deal with until now I’ve finally got the right help
Same, it makes me feel so lonely and left out my medical professionals. They need to do better.
I wouldn't bother telling 99% of people about my autism, you really can't expect them to understand the subtle complexities of this kind of disorder. We are very much still in the dark ages of psychology and mental health, and though it's getting better over time, I'm pretty sure most Boomers if you tell them the word autism they probably conflate it with down syndrome or something and so if you "look or talk normal" then what could possibly be wrong with you? 😅 But even more developed people aren't really gonna be able to understand this at all unless they have their own mental health challenges, and even then you should expect some kind of ignorance or stigma to speak through them in one way or another even if they have the best intentions.... We need to support each other and I honestly think there's very little payoff in telling most people about your autism. Your setting yourself up to get hurt when your really looking for support or compassion. I've done enough of that 😂
Being high stressed was my normal. Now im by myself i feel lost without al the stress so i have shut down in essence
I recently found out I have level 1 autism and having been researching it constantly and I’m so glad I found your videos they make so much sense and give me such peace of mind. Thank you for everything you do 😊
Hi! I am Japanese, and I came to realize that I have autistic symptoms, very mild one for the first time in my life by watching your videos. what makes me suffer in my real life is that the autistic characters led me to developing strong social anxiety like "being afraid of other people. " have you created any theme relating social phobia in your video?
Boost for the algorithm💞
Honestly, I have something similar. I have social anxiety form bad social experiences in the past. It makes my meltdowns more frequent, especially when I feel like I lack social control. I also get nervous and overthink leading up to social situations, for fear that I might say something that makes people uncomfortable.
I really really appreciate this channel. I’ve been coming to terms with my adhd and austism. I didn’t know what it looked like or what it even means. I just knew that I have this constant society pressure to function that I learned to survive and be high functioning. More so often to the point I functioned myself to the ground. I’m an artist, a content creator but I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t just- go…why I couldn’t just do what all my peers were doing and why I struggle with burnout. I did not realize how much not giving myself accommodations have been leading gross expectations on myself. I have to unlearn so many things. This channel has been so humanizing and helpful. Thank you.
Your content is so important to me. Thank you so very much for sharing your knowledge with us in such an accessible way. You are a huge source of comfort for me, and my life is slowly improving as I apply tips you have suggested. I wish I could pay you what I really think you're worth, but I unfortunately am not a lottery winner. I still wanted to show support for your work though 💕
Awww this is so sweet 🥹 thank you so much for your support!🫰
26:08 I am borderline neurotypical and found the suggestions for self regulation incredibly helpful.
Wow this is a paradigm shift!!!
I’ve been half doing it already, my tentative way of dealing is by « filling my tanks » which means attending to my physics needs and sensory needs to build up a bundle of energy and then I can engage with the world and build myself up emotionally and then once that’s done I can deal with my trauma and think of being productive! It’s very hard because I have no safe island to retreat to, I must be my own island. I have seagulls that pass from time to time, but the main theme is isolation and fear that my next relationship will be another abusive one where a socially apt person stands in my social blind spots and start « grooming » me for whatever.
At least my physical health is within reach 😔
I like how the dog is participating at 18:07❤
I found this extremely helpful, Thank you so much! Take care of the body first. This makes so much sense to me it's a revelation..!
I was diagnosed this year, aged 37, and have had chronic fatigue syndrome for the past 5 years. I am learning now just how much it is connected to living so long not knowing I'm autistic and the strain my system has been under since childhood that was just my "normal" as I didn't know any different. And that it could be years long autistic burnout, which I didn't know about til discovering my own autism. I want to heal now and learn how to integrate being autistic into my life in a successfully positive way. I'm so glad I found this video, it's really stood out to me. I'm looking forward to more of your videos, Thank you 🧜♀️💖🙏💕
Even though I knew my anxiety created my gastrointestinal issues, it never clicked that it was related to my autism until now!
Thanks Irene! Gosh, I was diagnosed in April and all of this is such a relief.
I am a late diagnosis, 32. I am struggling. I have been my whole life but I really appreciate having this. Thank you for your hard work and insight. I feel so alone in my life. I really only have myself and this information really empowers me to live a more manageable life. Idk if I'll ever be happy or healthy but like I'm not negatively affecting the world anymore and that's much better than my previous existence. Thank you.
I need to learn some energizing stims. I only have calming ones that Ive been using since i was a toddler.
I would like to have more tips on how to analyze our stims if possible? I have no idea how to know what stims are energizing me. I feel like the things that energize me are substances (tea and coffee) or seeing others be productive in a very esthetic way? And when stim i often notice it is when im overwhelmed/there are too many people around me.
That’s this week’s video 🤗 hopefully I’ll finish editing it soon!
I sometimes watch videos of this lady decorating her house and I find it soooooo soothing and I love to watch people being productive especially if they’re really graceful in their actions 😍
I so agree with all of this, and i also feel as though its impossible for me to be able to reach physical wellness. As a result of being in a constant state of nervous system activation, unable to relax (even in massage, i could feel myself automatically step out of the relaxation as it was happening, so i could get back familiar.
i've been left with chronic fatigue syndrome, forcing me to finally face all of this. It took 6 months of that last 10 months of being off work, to get to a place where I was even willing to accept being off work. Now I cant even get to a place of physical wellness because Im not longer able to exert myself as it sends me straight into a crash.
It is SO normal for me to be stressed. my heart rate is wild. my thoughts have no where else to go. but stay stuck in my body. And I cant even tell where it is in my body untill its an emergency. it acuatlly makes life so so hard
im glad i found your channel. im currently in a job where the sensory input is crazy, im not allowed to wear my ear buds, and i have to work at a crazy pace to keep up with the load. in recent years ive started to unmask not knowing i had autism and just thinking i had ADHD. turns out i have both and things have become difficult, especially with this current job. im trying to find a new job that will better work with my autism and your videos are helping me figure things out.
This is so, so helpful! I never knew how much physical wellbeing (gut health especially) had an effect on what was going on in the brain until these last few months researching it. I wasn't unhealthy but I wasn't taking care of myself as much as I should have. Life has been much easier after understanding the connections and taking steps to address them.
i really like listening to you talk about autism.. I feel like a lot of other resources are generally like psychologists and the way they talk about is very othering but you make it more human. thanks
A very interesting video! I'm struggling with autistic burnout and I learned a lot about stress! I knew stress was bad but now I understand its mechanisms. I can see now how to think about my needs and what boundaries look like. The way you explain informations is very visual and easy to understand. I will definitely watch more of your videos! 😊
Just a little detail (I'm sorry if it's inappropriate to say that, I'm saying this to help) : when you quote an article you should cite it in description, especially when you quote it a lot, because the author could bother you or accuse you of plagiarism. It could also help viewers to read the articles in details if they are interested 😊
Love from France ❤
In the part you talked about theraphy I realized that my therapist used a more psychoanalytic and dialectic approach rather than the typical CBT and I am glad that she used these approaches. I don't know whether she realized that I was an ADHDer before i got diagnosed or she thought that I was autistic, but I believe using these approaches might better help autistic individuals who struggle with alexithymia or anyone who needs more than intellectualizing their emotions
I am watching this thinking "man I do this stuff instinctually, and here I thought I was just ADHD but maybe I'm AuDHD"
i love ur videos sm. the substance and execution is so perfect. Thank you for the work u put into making them bc its life saving and so meaningful to feel seen and informed and your SO mindful in approaching the topic in a constructive and understanding. hope you have great success in life cus its clear how important it is to u to help and ur presence in the world is making me feel safe rn.
Videos like this are soooooooooooooooooo important ~ I don’t know where I’d be without them, I can’t thank you enough ❤️
I’m researching stuff about autism in adults with a desperation for knowledge to try and help my relationships. I have found there is so little resources and I’m blessed to have found your channel. Thank you!
-an adult with autism
Thank you SO much for this video!!! I just discovered your channel today and you are the most helpful and supportive autistic channel I have found. I am currently self diagnosed AuDHD since March 2021. But I’m working to get my courage up to go to a doctor. You’ve already helped me formulate my thoughts and I’m only 3 videos in…..this video in particular gave me such relief because I’ve never heard anyone actually provide tips for dealing with meltdowns, shutdowns and burnouts. You even described a scenario that can cause a meltdown for you. Keep doing what you’re doing all of it is so helpful and validating. I don’t normally comment bc I’m long winded 🤣 but had to share feedback and tell you how awesome this content is. Thank you thank you thank you 🥹🥹🥹🥹
Thank you your words
Irene , you are bringing so much hope into this world..
I was chronically burned out as a student. This resonates with me
This video was very helpful. There's things that I didn't even realize could be signs of meltdowns that I also experience. All of these videos are helpful and informative.
I just found your channel this week and I’m so glad I did. I enjoy listening to your perspective as it helps me to understand myself in a way that I have not been able to do before. I also appreciate your tips and although it’s only been a few days, I have found them to be helpful. Thank you for the work you do. 💜
Thank you thank you thank you. This has got to be one of the most calming, validating and helpful videos
Thank you so much Irene. I feel so seen and cared for, watching your videos ❤
Found your TH-cams over the weekend and I'm hooked! Excited to check out your Etsy and to "join" your page with a subscription!! Thank you so much for offering this content; it's been super relatable and helpful.
I wonder how you developed the language of these things. I notice all the things to be true intuitively and have tried to verbalize the observations, I didn’t have the data you have to support what I was observing like you do. I like this
I agree so much! It's such a relief to have someone verbalize exactly how you are feeling and to know you're not on your own and have someone else put it into words is HUGE
There are times when my wife says I love you to me, i feel like I am.going through the motions when i say it back to her. I do love her but there are times when i feel nothing. I call it the drained bathtub, little flecks of what should be there but are gone drained away.
I'm learning so much about myself with your videos... just wanted to thank you for putting out there all this amazing content ❤
I'm so happy to live in a country where public health gives me access to professionals specialized in Adult Autism. Brazil has a lot of problems but at least we have this.
I’m so happy I found your channel, this is so helpful. Thank you for taking this on. It’s beautiful and inspiring!
Any tips on helping a person who is a danger to themselves or others when having a meltdown? I know that restraint is not a good option so what are some alternatives to stop violent behaviour?
because this video was so helpful, I subscribed.
This explains so much! I have adenomyosis and I think my stress hormones are to blame 😢 no one knows how much I mask just to survive
Check if you have heds part of it I have pelvic pain fybromyalgia Asperger's adhd
Wow, the first thing I did was pin point my triggers and things that bothered me, and I had every medical practitioner tell me that was fruitless.
Chronic stress is absolutely toxic to the body. I have psoriatic arthritis which was triggered by stress. It is debilitating and without taking immunosuppressants I literally can’t get out of bed or do anything because my joints get so flared up. It’s caused permanent damage to my joints and because of the meds I take, if I get Covid I have to be off work for 20 days (my work only has 80 hrs/yr of sick pay). I work in healthcare so I have been wearing a mask consistently since we had to back in 2020. I can’t afford to be sick.
Is there anyway to get it in remission with no stress.i have fybromyalgia or is it autism burnout
This is INCREDIBLY valuable. Thank you so much!
you're amazing
Sensory deprivation, I can feel that need when I’m overstimulated, particularly if audio is overstimulating in the moment, even the quietest music.
You described my my meltdowns feel so well, as well as what triggers them. I had one yesterday after my sister got mad at me suddenly and it was really traumatic.
You guys are not meant to be exactly like everybody else, so stop trying to be.
Yeah, do your best to fit in at say, work or someplace like that, so that you don't have to suffer any more than necessary.
But the reality is....... that there will always be that 10-20 % of people in society that are always a little bit different and honestly, they can sometimes see things from a different angle than everyone else. which can help you to see problems from a different perspective and then solve them.
I love some of these types of people and love to be around them for that reason.
I am not saying to just go out there be a complete dork, and not make any effort trying to fit in to society, but if you have to go off on your own and doing your own thing more often in order to be happier. survive. or just unwind, then so be it.
It is what it is & if some people don't like it, then they can just go hell!!!!
As everyone else has said, truly helpful and truthful information. I subbed!
Just an aside - pls hear me in the kindest way possible - use “many times” or “some of the time” or “at times” rather than using “times” after the article “the”. “The” signals that the next word is singular (time), not plural (times).
Yes this is probably my autistic brain talking! 😂 love your content!
Perhaps a book from you in the future? I feel like that would be amazingly helpful
Oh.. the section about stress and physical problems... that was just so real for me a few years ago. I literally was diagnosed with gastroparesis, aka a paralyzed stomach. It turned out to not be chronic in my case, but rather a phenomenon induced by stress. And they couldn't find anything tangible in test results.. holy shit... And talking about ever present stress🥲👍 because our baseline is struggling
Yesss!! I become nonverbal when I’m having a meltdown as well, for all the reasons you stated & more 🥹 This helped me so much!!! I definitely took notes 🤓 thank you Irene!! 🤗🙏🏽💖
Thank you so much for this video, it has been very helpful! I totally agree with the bottom up approach to healing, and have been contemplating doing a somatic therapy coaching program so I can help myself and others...this has encouraged me to continue this journey for myself. So much appreciations for your voice in a fairly dark corner of the universe. As someone with level one/Asperger's, it has been so hard to navigate a world that oppresses neurodivergent people.
Not this shooting across my radar when I'm literally being placed on medical leave for grief induced burnout haha
Good timing but feeling called the heck out right meow.
❤ thank you ❤
My resting heart rate in high school was around 110 bpm. You have some beautiful tattoos.
Thanks. I will try applying these
This really hits home.
This is such an important channel.
Well done. Thank you 🥰
That was SO nice to hear all that ! Prevention. Plans in the event of ... Thankyou !
You deserve a Nobel peace prize for this
This was so helpful. The thing Im struggling with his that my toddler is a huge part of my sensory overload. Not exactly something i can take out of my life.
I’m a late diagnosed autistic adult. Diagnosed after many tests to figure out why I’m experiencing exhaustion and wanting to retire from teaching. I’m in search of a support group and help getting out of burnout. My adult daughter is autistic. We are both diagnosed adhd as well.
Just want to clarify that I don’t want to retire but, I feel like I have to because I’m so tired.
Thank you for the video! All the work and education you provide helps me a lot.
I don't like the texture of pants and jeans so I got sweatpants lined pants and jeans and I love it
Because of soneone truly special I was able to try to dig my way out of bring buried alive underground
I appreciate your work a lot thank you so much
Amazing, amazing video. Thank you ❤
thank you for this!
Thank you so much for your videos!
Do people with ADHD have this? I will get tested for ASD someday. Those episodes got worse when I had a stressful event happening in my life over and over. How can we prevent someone to touch us or follow us during a meltdown?
There is a great deal of overlap with ASD and ADHD. I have both.
I've been in an autistic burnout for 25 years, and STILL haven't come out of it yet!
Trying to find out if my muscle pain symptoms everyday are autistic burnout do you have pain been going on years
I am also autistic and I thank you for your advice
thank you so much
For me it's so difficult to identify my soothing stims...
I am 27, still going into autism assessment but pretty sure I am autistic. I suspected only 6 months ago so still a lot to learn about myself and autism. It's been hard 😅
My no. 1 recovery method, go to bed! 😂