Please keep me in your prayers. I’m divorcing my husband of 17 yrs. He’s definitely a text book narcissist. I didn’t have the language to describe the abuse until God lead me to your channel & few others. It was familiar hell being with him, due to my mother & sister being narcs!! It’s painful, but I know God will keep me. He will restore the yrs I’d lost.🙏🏽❤️
I am hurt to read of stories of the hell the victim has had go through because I can identify with the horrific pain. It's something not understood by soneone who hasn't experienced it. It is a lethal accident you live through, like being struck by lightening or miraculously returning to life and suffering during healing. The aftermath of a narcassist abuse is catastrophic and beyond normal explaination and understanding. I am deeply sorry this has happened to you, me or anybody else.
In most cases, the enablers are the people who don't have the wisdom of minding their own business who are blindly recruited by the narcissist to do their dirty work and in other cases, the enablers are narcissists themselves and also as you put it madame Megji, the enablers sometimes are people who have something to gain or who have gained something from the narcissist so they feel they have some kind of emotional dept to pay to the narcissist, consequently becoming servants of the narcissistic abuse.
I really appreciate seeing/understanding the “flavors” of enablers. Most I’ve seen just slap a “flying monkey” title, but this has given much more depth . Thank you.
i told the enabler, you keep telling my narc mum that she is 'virtuous, kind and holy etc' despite knowing all her nasty things (lies, triangulation, create vicious stories to smear campaign people she hates/jealous, etc). when she dies and being denied at the gate of heaven, she will tell the heaven judge that 'enablers like you lied to her' about herself when she was alive, now she will be in hell for eternity.
These questions for enablers would also be helpful for victims to ask themselves. The narcissists in my life silenced and isolated me, so not even my closest friends and loved ones knew to ask me these questions. We need to ask them of ourselves! Thank you, Shaneen! 💕
My golden sister warned us to be careful about not fighting among us due to our malignant mother so, she knows her nature but they just don't care as long as they don't end up like me, the scapegoat, did. They don't have anything to gain siding with me except for accepting my position as the family punching bag as always. I'm in no contact so I don't know how do they get along.
I felt sorry for Narc enablers for about a day. 6 months ago. Since then the enablers proved that some were narcs too, some wanted to keep their belongings and some blame the victim. Give up enabling the enablers. It's hard enough to defend yourself. Flying monkeys are often backstabbers. Protect you
They sound like 'the manipulated' and for me, sometimes it's hard to tell the difference, there are so many manipulated people! Which ones are narcs and which ones are manipulated? It's hard to tell!
@iNsOmNiAcAnDrEw no, it's not. honest persons will never laugh in your face because you're crying, they'll never spread lies( they know are lies) about you, and they'll never lie only to cover the narc and hurting you more. I was there, in the same plot, but I have my values! I told him that he cannot use me for hurting others , I wasn't enabling for all the gossip he and his friends made regularly... I became a scapegoat, but i'll do it again the same choice if I could. In this world lack people with values
@@adriananeri3288 enablers do all of that, they are no more honest than the narcissist is. They just aren't doing it for themselves, they're doing it for the narc. That's the difference, motive. Enablers will disbelieve victims because it's easier for them to believe the narcissist.
this is such an important matter to grasp because such people have become primed to turn against a person who would otherwise have had a relationship that is deep seated and longstanding such as a sibling or an offspring or a spouse; the narcissist will stop at nothing to undermine such a relationship for their own gain to do the devil's bidding, which as anyone who has been in Christian combat knows, is out to kill, steal and destroy, wandering around like a roaring lion (in the form of narcissists and psychopaths) seeking whom he may devour; but we have the mind of Christ, we 'put on Christ' and He is the One Who delivers us from all evil. Thankyou Shaneen for reminding us of this perspective so eloquently
I love the analysis and clear thinking of Shaneen. Thank You Jesus for her gifts, Your Holy Spirit in her, and for her ability to teach and heal others with words because of her diligence to seek Your truth.
Yep, I've definitely been guilty of being several of these types of enablers when I was younger and growing up in my toxic family, before I could see the situation for what it was.
Me too...i feel stupid for not seeing it earlier...i was all of the above types of enabler for my narc mom untill the day god opened my eyes to see clearly...
@@sunshine-db2zm Don't feel stupid, how were you supposed to know? At least you know now. I took a very long time myself, not even realizing why I ended up working in careers with toxic people and attracted many toxic partners in my life. Now I vow to help others wake up too. God is good, you will get your good karma and the narcissists will all be seen for the demons they truly are
To God be the Glory 🙌. What a timely video. Dealing with family- mother daughter duo and it just proved who both of them are. Changes will be made. Starting with distance ✌️. I'll let the Spiritually dead bury their own!!!!!!
Dear Shaneen! This came just in time, as I have been discovering just this week that I am dealing with enabler Nr 5... thank you for your ministry and I bless you!
The narcassist family makes you feel special in the sense that you feel like your noticing things others cannot or are not able to notice. Its because those that are like them who see nothing wrong with themselves dcantcan't see whatswhat's wrongvwithwrong with the narcassist. Cut from the same damaged fabric.
Your peacekeeper section described my situation perfectly. I do pray about this, and because it is a parent, I have severe guilt over going no contact.
I am already in the position of having nothing and no one. My kids are a product of 43 years of this crap and I am disabled now and don’t see any way out.
I'm childless but I have lost my whole family due to my mother. At the end of my life, I realized I loved and cared for all the wrong people. It's sad finding out so late 😢 Take care and leave it in God's hand because we can't change the past and we were abused and toyd with. We didn't know better.
The Lord will never leave you nor forsake You, if You ask Him into your heart. John 3:16, Romans 10:9. May Jesus help you today and give you peace. He is able to do the impossible! Trust Him to help you. "The Lord is my Helper" - Psalms. "Thy God, Whom thou servest continually, He shall deliver thee. " - Daniel 6:16 💕🤗🛐☦️🕎🐪🐫
Shaneen, This is very Helpful! Understanding,,at least will allow me to pray, watch, & listen for the Holy Spirit… While Going on in my Life! I need to take notes, & prepare “The Enabler Questions,” for the right Moment! 🙏🏻Care, Wisdom, & Love! ☀️🕊🍃
@@dienahfee777 Anscheinend ist meine heutige Antwort an Sie von you tube gelöscht worden. Ich denke, dass wir einen eigenen christlichen Aufklärungskanal über Narzissmus in deutscher Sprache machen müssen. Im deutschsprachigen Raum finde ich "Narc exreme" sehr gut. Sie ist aber leider keine Christin. Und Hubert Hafner - ein christlicher Aufklärer - hat nicht diese geniale Gabe, die dieser Kanal hier hat. Also Ärmel hoch und los. Liebe Grüsse und Gott schütze Sie in diesen turbulenten Zeiten.
I had a dream from the Lord that gave me the language I needed to pray more effectively. In the dream, He strongly told me her (the psychopathic narcissist abusing me) enablers were guilty of practicing "Cheap Grace". 😳
I feel like I have raised enablers. Because I'm one. Is there ANY chance for redemption for my children? I'm trying to get my child to do her inner healing, she's 16. But I wish I could take it all away, all her pain. She never asked for this 😢
Is it wise to confront my Covert narcissist "best friend" now that her mask has slipped? Still trying to wrap my head around all that has happened its almost surreal. The deep sense of betrayal is brutal. But I know the Lover of my soul, my Saviour the Lord Jesus will bring me through this agonizing trial. Whew! Hard to believe I've been so used, abused, and falsely accused. Been praying that she will come to deep repentance. I truly thought she was a sister in Christ.
unfortunately for US, no. it’s not worth it. why? because they genuinely *do not care*. don’t waste your breath, time, or energy trying to speak your truth..it doesn’t matter to them. it’s better to distance yourself if you can do so, safely. it’s okay to still pray for her, but maybe it is better to love from a distance. she may come around, she may not..either way, it’s best to look out for yourself no matter the outcome.
Yes; i have experienced this and i feel it reveals they are being WILLFULLY ignorant so they will not have to pass judgment upon the abusive behavior that’s occurring. They want to stay in their safe neutral place for whatever reasons, and if we rock the boat by speaking truth,they will sometimes take it out on us
Thank you! Do you have any advice on how to help the sons of a narcissistic father to look at their father's harmful treatment of others honestly, without feeling like they are being dishonoring or disloyal to him?
When JESUS was speaking to a crowd, someone let Him know that His Kin Folks where there but couldn't reach Him because of the multitude. But JESUS answered saying. Who is My Mother, Sisters, and Brethren? (Those that do My Father's Will)! Many People consider "Blood" is thicker than water. The Carnally Minded and Religious Hypocrites will "Abandon" GOD'S WORD for Advantage, Money, Clout, Status, and Loyalty without a Second Thought. They will go with the Flow! Some will even make up excuses saying, GOD knows My heart. Ain't nobody perfect. I got a Family to take care of. They treat Me good. GOD will work it out! Those are My Friends. Here's a few Dollars. He's the Pastor. Kinfolk are going to be there ⁉️ (These Kind Worship Men, instead of GOD)!
The wisdom of Shaneen is 40 years too late for me. Having been raised in the Lord's Recovery movement it became comprised of narcissists and narcissist enablers. Sadly through Shaneen's video I see enabler traits in them. In such a cultic sectarian religious system, I am exasperated when there are children with no one to intercede for them.
If music is a blessing to you, please check out Tramaine Hawkins' song, "It is Never Too Late." When I first heard it, I had to remind myself that I am still here for a reason and that reason is to live every day to the fullest for God. Yes, one day, I will die, and then it will be too late, but as long as I am alive, it is NOT too late. I am sorry for what you went through and I am glad that you see it for what it was.
We moved away from my overt fil, my covert mil, and also an enabler. Relationships are better at a distance. Can someone please tell me why I felt pain this morning when family pictures were shared of a wedding we were at of my brother in law back in March? I felt like things were going better, relationships starting to heal, so why now do I feel this pain?
My dad is like Obama, he has a pen and a phone! Slightly annoy him and he's calling everyone he can to send them your way. They all come with the same script, "Stop upsetting your dad. Listen to your dad. Stop being so difficult. You should be ashamed for being so ungrateful. He's done his best. Why don't you want to get along?"
Please keep me in your prayers. I’m divorcing my husband of 17 yrs. He’s definitely a text book narcissist. I didn’t have the language to describe the abuse until God lead me to your channel & few others. It was familiar hell being with him, due to my mother & sister being narcs!! It’s painful, but I know God will keep me. He will restore the yrs I’d lost.🙏🏽❤️
🙏 prayers
I am hurt to read of stories of the hell the victim has had go through because I can identify with the horrific pain. It's something not understood by soneone who hasn't experienced it. It is a lethal accident you live through, like being struck by lightening or miraculously returning to life and suffering during healing. The aftermath of a narcassist abuse is catastrophic and beyond normal explaination and understanding. I am deeply sorry this has happened to you, me or anybody else.
@@janiced.hatcher1272 Thank you! I'm so sorry you'd experienced this trauma as well. God is with us ❤
@@lottie6462 thank you ❤
@victoriouscruz1264 -
Yes amen. I pray for much grace and peace in Jesus' name. 🙏🏽
I was plagued with a No. 4 live in Mother- in- law. The “ Peace ( Maker) …. Should be “ Peace Faker!”
In most cases, the enablers are the people who don't have the wisdom of minding their own business who are blindly recruited by the narcissist to do their dirty work and in other cases, the enablers are narcissists themselves and also as you put it madame Megji, the enablers sometimes are people who have something to gain or who have gained something from the narcissist so they feel they have some kind of emotional dept to pay to the narcissist, consequently becoming servants of the narcissistic abuse.
Yup, well said.
@@ShaneenMegji 🙏
The beast, false prophet, and those who have taken the mark of the beast are all one big package deal that get cast into the lake of fire.
Good
Ouch! I am ALL of the above. 😊 Shaneen, thank you from the bottom of my heart for this! The more it hurts, the deeper the healing. ❤
I'm so glad. God is setting you free. Whom the Son sets free is free indeed.❤️
I really appreciate seeing/understanding the “flavors” of enablers. Most I’ve seen just slap a “flying monkey” title, but this has given much more depth . Thank you.
Thank you for your feedback! I’m so glad the video gave you a deeper understanding of enablers.
i told the enabler, you keep telling my narc mum that she is 'virtuous, kind and holy etc' despite knowing all her nasty things (lies, triangulation, create vicious stories to smear campaign people she hates/jealous, etc). when she dies and being denied at the gate of heaven, she will tell the heaven judge that 'enablers like you lied to her' about herself when she was alive, now she will be in hell for eternity.
These questions for enablers would also be helpful for victims to ask themselves. The narcissists in my life silenced and isolated me, so not even my closest friends and loved ones knew to ask me these questions. We need to ask them of ourselves!
Thank you, Shaneen! 💕
It's my pleasure Alayna! ❤️
My golden sister warned us to be careful about not fighting among us due to our malignant mother so, she knows her nature but they just don't care as long as they don't end up like me, the scapegoat, did. They don't have anything to gain siding with me except for accepting my position as the family punching bag as always. I'm in no contact so I don't know how do they get along.
I felt sorry for Narc enablers for about a day. 6 months ago. Since then the enablers proved that some were narcs too, some wanted to keep their belongings and some blame the victim. Give up enabling the enablers. It's hard enough to defend yourself. Flying monkeys are often backstabbers. Protect you
💯💯💯
They sound like 'the manipulated' and for me, sometimes it's hard to tell the difference, there are so many manipulated people! Which ones are narcs and which ones are manipulated? It's hard to tell!
@iNsOmNiAcAnDrEw no, it's not. honest persons will never laugh in your face because you're crying, they'll never spread lies( they know are lies) about you, and they'll never lie only to cover the narc and hurting you more. I was there, in the same plot, but I have my values! I told him that he cannot use me for hurting others , I wasn't enabling for all the gossip he and his friends made regularly... I became a scapegoat, but i'll do it again the same choice if I could. In this world lack people with values
@@adriananeri3288 enablers do all of that, they are no more honest than the narcissist is. They just aren't doing it for themselves, they're doing it for the narc. That's the difference, motive. Enablers will disbelieve victims because it's easier for them to believe the narcissist.
Good
My husband partially understands. Honor your Mother; I’ll give him that. But he has to respect my decision for no contact.
this is such an important matter to grasp because such people have become primed to turn against a person who would otherwise have had a relationship that is deep seated and longstanding such as a sibling or an offspring or a spouse; the narcissist will stop at nothing to undermine such a relationship for their own gain to do the devil's bidding, which as anyone who has been in Christian combat knows, is out to kill, steal and destroy, wandering around like a roaring lion (in the form of narcissists and psychopaths) seeking whom he may devour; but we have the mind of Christ, we 'put on Christ' and He is the One Who delivers us from all evil. Thankyou Shaneen for reminding us of this perspective so eloquently
I love the analysis and clear thinking of Shaneen. Thank You Jesus for her gifts, Your Holy Spirit in her, and for her ability to teach and heal others with words because of her diligence to seek Your truth.
Yep, I've definitely been guilty of being several of these types of enablers when I was younger and growing up in my toxic family, before I could see the situation for what it was.
Me too... i feel bad for being stupid..
Me too...i feel stupid for not seeing it earlier...i was all of the above types of enabler for my narc mom untill the day god opened my eyes to see clearly...
@@sunshine-db2zm Don't feel stupid, how were you supposed to know? At least you know now. I took a very long time myself, not even realizing why I ended up working in careers with toxic people and attracted many toxic partners in my life. Now I vow to help others wake up too. God is good, you will get your good karma and the narcissists will all be seen for the demons they truly are
To God be the Glory 🙌. What a timely video. Dealing with family- mother daughter duo and it just proved who both of them are. Changes will be made. Starting with distance ✌️. I'll let the Spiritually dead bury their own!!!!!!
Dear Shaneen! This came just in time, as I have been discovering just this week that I am dealing with enabler Nr 5... thank you for your ministry and I bless you!
You got that right again.
Thank you and God bless you.
From JANESVILLE, WI
Thank you! God bless you too. 🙏🏽
@@ShaneenMegji huuuuuuuugs
@@MeCynthiaAnn aw thanks 🥰
The narcassist family makes you feel special in the sense that you feel like your noticing things others cannot or are not able to notice. Its because those that are like them who see nothing wrong with themselves dcantcan't see whatswhat's wrongvwithwrong with the narcassist. Cut from the same damaged fabric.
Yup, birds of a feather flock together.
Not damaged..evil
Your peacekeeper section described my situation perfectly. I do pray about this, and because it is a parent, I have severe guilt over going no contact.
I guess you are not the scapegoat. Anyway, the situation doesn't get better. They don't change.
I am already in the position of having nothing and no one. My kids are a product of 43 years of this crap and I am disabled now and don’t see any way out.
I'm childless but I have lost my whole family due to my mother. At the end of my life, I realized I loved and cared for all the wrong people. It's sad finding out so late 😢
Take care and leave it in God's hand because we can't change the past and we were abused and toyd with. We didn't know better.
The Lord will never leave you nor forsake You, if You ask Him into your heart. John 3:16, Romans 10:9.
May Jesus help you today and give you peace. He is able to do the impossible! Trust Him to help you. "The Lord is my Helper" - Psalms.
"Thy God, Whom thou servest continually, He shall deliver thee. " - Daniel 6:16 💕🤗🛐☦️🕎🐪🐫
Shaneen, This is very Helpful! Understanding,,at least will allow me to pray, watch, & listen for the Holy Spirit… While Going on in my Life! I need to take notes, & prepare “The Enabler Questions,” for the right Moment!
🙏🏻Care, Wisdom, & Love! ☀️🕊🍃
Thank you and greetings from Germany. God bless you.
Thank you! God bless you too. 🙏🏽
Hallo. Bin aus Österreich. Kennst du deutschsprachige christliche Kanäle, die so gut sind wie dieser hier?
@@dienahfee777 Anscheinend ist meine heutige Antwort an Sie von you tube gelöscht worden.
Ich denke, dass wir einen eigenen christlichen Aufklärungskanal über Narzissmus in deutscher Sprache machen müssen. Im deutschsprachigen Raum finde ich "Narc exreme" sehr gut. Sie ist aber leider keine Christin.
Und Hubert Hafner - ein christlicher Aufklärer - hat nicht diese geniale Gabe, die dieser Kanal hier hat.
Also Ärmel hoch und los. Liebe Grüsse und Gott schütze Sie in diesen turbulenten Zeiten.
@@dienahfee777 Ich habe diesen wunderbaren Kanal entdeckt und möchte es gerne mit Ihnen teilen: F2L - Liebe statt Narzissmus
I had a dream from the Lord that gave me the language I needed to pray more effectively. In the dream, He strongly told me her (the psychopathic narcissist abusing me) enablers were guilty of practicing "Cheap Grace". 😳
My father is a covert narcissist and my mother ticks almost all the boxes for being an enabler.
What does it look like to NOT be an enabler when you have to maintain a positive relationship with the narcissist? Coparenting, for example.
That is a great question, a topic for a possible future video.
Keep your interaction to a minimum.
I feel like I have raised enablers. Because I'm one. Is there ANY chance for redemption for my children? I'm trying to get my child to do her inner healing, she's 16. But I wish I could take it all away, all her pain. She never asked for this 😢
Thank you for this
My pleasure!
A very comprehensive list. Thank you ❤
Is it wise to confront my Covert narcissist "best friend" now that her mask has slipped? Still trying to wrap my head around all that has happened its almost surreal. The deep sense of betrayal is brutal. But I know the Lover of my soul, my Saviour the Lord Jesus will bring me through this agonizing trial. Whew! Hard to believe I've been so used, abused, and falsely accused. Been praying that she will come to deep repentance. I truly thought she was a sister in Christ.
unfortunately for US, no. it’s not worth it. why? because they genuinely *do not care*. don’t waste your breath, time, or energy trying to speak your truth..it doesn’t matter to them. it’s better to distance yourself if you can do so, safely. it’s okay to still pray for her, but maybe it is better to love from a distance. she may come around, she may not..either way, it’s best to look out for yourself no matter the outcome.
I witnessed this a lot but I have a question will enablers sometimes get angry if you don't see the narcissist the way they do ?
They might after the scapegoat is out of the picture. The dynamics changes and roles are adjusted to the will and needs of the puppet master.
Yes; i have experienced this and i feel it reveals they are being WILLFULLY ignorant so they will not have to pass judgment upon the abusive behavior that’s occurring. They want to stay in their safe neutral place for whatever reasons, and if we rock the boat by speaking truth,they will sometimes take it out on us
@MB-sg8dx Thanks for responding and that makes sense .
Omg !! So good
Thank you! Do you have any advice on how to help the sons of a narcissistic father to look at their father's harmful treatment of others honestly, without feeling like they are being dishonoring or disloyal to him?
I appreciate your insight.
When JESUS was speaking to a crowd, someone let Him know that His Kin Folks where there but couldn't reach Him because of the multitude. But JESUS answered saying. Who is My Mother, Sisters, and Brethren? (Those that do My Father's Will)! Many People consider "Blood" is thicker than water. The Carnally Minded and Religious Hypocrites will "Abandon" GOD'S WORD for Advantage, Money, Clout, Status, and Loyalty without a Second Thought. They will go with the Flow! Some will even make up excuses saying, GOD knows My heart. Ain't nobody perfect. I got a Family to take care of. They treat Me good. GOD will work it out! Those are My Friends. Here's a few Dollars. He's the Pastor. Kinfolk are going to be there ⁉️ (These Kind Worship Men, instead of GOD)!
yes yes and yes
❤️
The wisdom of Shaneen is 40 years too late for me. Having been raised in the Lord's Recovery movement it became comprised of narcissists and narcissist enablers. Sadly through Shaneen's video I see enabler traits in them. In such a cultic sectarian religious system, I am exasperated when there are children with no one to intercede for them.
If music is a blessing to you, please check out Tramaine Hawkins' song, "It is Never Too Late." When I first heard it, I had to remind myself that I am still here for a reason and that reason is to live every day to the fullest for God. Yes, one day, I will die, and then it will be too late, but as long as I am alive, it is NOT too late. I am sorry for what you went through and I am glad that you see it for what it was.
We moved away from my overt fil, my covert mil, and also an enabler. Relationships are better at a distance. Can someone please tell me why I felt pain this morning when family pictures were shared of a wedding we were at of my brother in law back in March? I felt like things were going better, relationships starting to heal, so why now do I feel this pain?
It sounds like you need some time to grieve the losses...
Lovely Elephants :)
The mother , with her financial benefits she gets. Is the last one. Manipulated one. Manipulator at the same time.
EXACTLY 💯🤬
Not in my case since she is the malignant type and who controls everyone
My dad is like Obama, he has a pen and a phone! Slightly annoy him and he's calling everyone he can to send them your way. They all come with the same script, "Stop upsetting your dad. Listen to your dad. Stop being so difficult. You should be ashamed for being so ungrateful. He's done his best. Why don't you want to get along?"
Of the Victim. The Narc. And the Enabler. The Enabler needs therapy the most. The third-party influence has to cease
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me every day for decades... I...
Fooled me everyday, i'm the sucker . its ok, i was a sucker too for decades... until the day i retaliated.
❤
Im getting a divorce its going to be bsd
Beautiful some day?
Praying for you
you are nbeautifuls, you are gods and you kill
god with the tro.,,es and the bast....ds have his profits.and we pay