Ep. 306 | Shopping Addiction
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 มิ.ย. 2024
- Joshua and Ryan talk about resisting the incessant tug of consumerism
while striving to simplify. Watch “Maximal” episodes of The Minimalists Private Podcast exclusively at Patreon. • The Minimalists Privat...
Questions answered in this episode:
00:00 How do we overcome our shopping addiction?
03:32 What are the three prime indicators of compulsive buying?
06:20 What is consumerism?
09:12 When does something become an addiction?
18:50 Why do people have shopping addictions?
19:09 When creating a capsule wardrobe and running up against challenges regarding durability, should we buy more clothes at once or purchase clothes more often?
21:05 What is Project 333?
25:33 How do I adjust my shopping habits so they better align with my minimalist practices?
#TheMinimalists
I just paid off my debts and got rid of my credit card. Feeling so relieved! ✌🏻💕
I had 2 CC now I have 3 because one of the first 2 is 14.99% and the new one is 9.99%. I want to close the one that is 14.99% and the other but I don’t because I’ve had it for so many years.
I don’t know what to do.
Shopping is a high. I go thrift shopping and feel I am getting a "good deal."But I don't NEED anything!
Im addicted to shopping after being a minimalist years before. My last addiction some 400 days ago was alcohol. Then it switched to shopping after I have stopped drinking.....Now, 2023 i'm sober for three days.... thank you guys
Good luck to you, and wishing you all the best!!
I must confess, I’m addicted to shopping. I have decluttered my whole house with the kon mari method and oir family is thriving! Everything has it’s place. But now I keep shopping for beautiful items that I always wanted to have. I am more mindful but it still gives me the rush. Help!
I love you guys, you are so authentic and easy to listen to.. I’m quitting with this addiction just like the cigarettes 15 years ago💪🏻😃
On another note, a customer came into the store and paid off her credit card. $2000.00!! Then she cut it up in front of me! So satisfying to watch!
For 25 years I was a shopaholic. I was 25 thousand dollars in debt. I filled for bankruptcy. Then I got a large inheritance and spent that. I was buying stuff everyday. I got to where I didn't even open the boxes. None of the things made me happy.
How did you cure it?
@@flufftronable I didn't really cure it. I just changed my way of thinking about shopping. I find other things to do rather than spend money.
Before intentional living/minimalism, I used to buy way too much stuff. I eventually looked around at my clothes, shoes, purses, and other junk and asked myself why I am buying this stuff, who did I think I was and why was I depending and putting so much into external things to speak about me as a person. After serious internal self-examination and digging, I put down my delusions of grandeur about my outside appearance which in my opinion is the exact opposite of what is taught to a lot of women. I eventually stopped and realized that I am capable, worthy and currently spend my time, attention, money, and other resources on things with an internal and long-term value that focuses on my health, people, and experiences. I stopped depending on clothes, name brands, and other trivial material things in an attempt to speak about myself and do the work and allow my personality and actions to speak instead.
Don't kid yourself. Traveling is just another consumption where instead of material things you consume experiences. But it is consumption nevertheless. It's no differenent than going out to the clubs, bars, music concerts, or movies. Basically you just swapped one addiction for another. Minimalism is a free and independent mindset where you don't allow outside factors to influence your decisions, not the way to channel your spending differenntly or simply getting fed up and tired with the needless burden of extra stuff that you're drowning in, so you finally clean out your closet because you are now a "minimalist". This whole self- congratulatory "mommy look, I'm a minimalist now!" patting yourself on the shoulder rhetoric is laughable. You just threw away your old crotch and bought yourself a new one.
In August 2020 after staying home for several months a bulb went off in my head and I realized I had so much stuff, things I kept because of how much money I spent on it, or how pretty it was, yet I never used it, it was just taking up space. So I decided to start decluttering. I started in my laundry room and then my kitchen and then every room in the house. I’ve done the 30 day challenge a few times. Now I have so much room in my house, I have some empty kitchen cabinet shelves, empty dresser drawers and closets. Now when I go shopping I only shop for the necessary things. I don’t miss anything I’ve given away or donated. It literally takes me no time to clean my house now. I do not want to go back to the way I used to shop or fill up my house with items that I don’t need.
I know why I got obsessed with buying clothes, etc.: as a child and all through college, I never had adequate clothing, shoes, etc. I went for years without any coat or jacket, or anything to cut the winter wind, just one old sweater that was many sizes too small for me, from when I was a much smaller child. I had only one pair of pants and three tops, so had to wear my one nightgown to wash my clothes, no laundry machines, either. No robe or slippers, or alternative shoes. What I did have came from thrift stores. Not only did I feel inferior to everyone else, I was always cold and couldn’t participate in things like swimming! I didn’t get enough food, either, and was very underweight and malnourished, but never obsessed on that later, for some reason (except for tomatoes). I was determined to be well-dressed and eat as many tomatoes as I wanted after college, which, of course, I worked all the way through. For decades I always bought tomatoes whether I needed them or not. Deprivation often causes hoarding, but never did for me, except for wardrobe items, especially coats, and certain basic items I never had, like a pair of scissors. Yes, I now have a pair in every room!
My husband has stage four cancer and I am so afraid! I feel anxious all the time - I have abandoned my usual healthy habits and have been buying a lot of clothes. I now feel bad about myself even though I recognise the reason for my behaviour. You have helped me see that I must explore “WHY” I am doing this and is it serving me?
Mine was from PTSD. Im not a vet. Im a trauma survivor and I hoard childhood toys and I hoard vinyl but they are tied to memories. Therapy made me spiral out. I always had impluse. I also have adhd
When I was young it was sex now its shopping. I see a transfer addiction. I was neglected as a child . Never had my needs met. In my 40s Im disabled from it. Newly lost my career to disabilitys. All that came to a head and im home doing online etsy amazin ebay. 8 days clean of shopping online. 🛍 i hope i break if so I dont end up worse so emptyness is losing my old life and career. And going through therapy.
It makes me wonder if shopping addiction is a learned behaviour? For example friends that have grown up with a parent that placed great value on time spent shopping & "things" as a distraction, seem to enjoy or atleast go shopping much more regularly than myself who lacks the "shopping gene" & views shopping as a pain in the arse & only go when I have to. My mum was never a shopper so I think it's not something I've ever learnt or felt the need to do. Same goes with when women grow up with a mother who is constantly self critical of her weight, appearance, etc, etc. Chances are the daughter will also grow up with poor self image/confidence & this is something I have observed time & time again in friends & their mums. I remember a particular conversation with a friend (we are in our early 40s) & her mum & they were discussing what they would change about their bodies & appearances, when they asked me what I would change about myself I said "Nothing, I am just happy being me. Isn't wishing yourself to be different than what you are a complete waste of time & energy?" They looked at me a bit shocked & said "oh, that's what we do", like it had never occured to them to just be happy to be alive as who they are with their imperfections. It made me sad as we are both mothers of daughters & I can already see the differences in the self worth & confidence of her daughters in relation to my own. It made me incredibly grateful I had never been raised & conditioned in the lack of self worth shopping cycle & it makes me aware of how damaging that kind of unintentional conditioning can be passed on down family lines!
I have a problem with window shopping for sure so I add stuff to my cart all the time and it just sits and expires. I probably need to find out why I tend to fill my time with shopping and what more productive or intentional ways to fill the void.
oooft this hit a nerve I have recently come to terms with this addiction . My heart sinks when I think of not shopping it fills a void . I have a plant problem but also I am lonely
Probably stating the obvious (my intention is good), but it's important to find something meaningful to fill the void.. For me it's just simple things, Im lucky I live near nature, I can take walks in the peace and quiet, escape people, I like quiet.. that's not for everyone i know.. but it's finding something that works for you.
I'm an odd person, I'm lonely yet don't like to be with people!? Maybe it's easier, less effort, maybe I'm awkward.. I don't know lol
You'll be ok x
@@nnnnn1610 thank you for sharing this the nature sounds good might go for a wee walk in the forest later .
Look at stuff in stores and appreciate them. Leave them there though. 🤭
@@rg-mi5hh I buy online
Thank you so much for this! I have had oniomania (compulsive shopping addiction) for a long time. I've been getting better and your podcasts have really helped me. My issue is the advertisements on social media/TV etc. If I don't see adverts then I'm OK and don't buy anything but it's so hard to get away from advertisements these days!
@@michellecd4722 thank you! I'll give that a try.
Everytime I listen to these podcasts, I gain new insight!
So true about “we’d be crazy not to get the credit card that gives you 10% off”. And it’s always true for me that I ALWAYS end up forgetting to pay it off on time and have to pay more in the end.
I appreciate the raw awareness you create.
Thank you for this episode. I have been suffering from a shopping addiction for most of my life. It started in Childhood. I use to shop for everyone in my family and found a happiness when giving to others. Birthday’s and Christmas are my down falls. I have filled bankruptcy a couple of times. I keep telling myself this is the last time. Every time I empty out my closet. I feel good and then I get depressed, stressed about something or a situation and then the shopping begins!! I feel like I am fighting against myself of trying to find happiness and completeness, when I can’t get it from others and that is how I give it to myself through purchases. I have been in emdr therapy for a while to try and get to the root of these issues. I have developed health issues forcing me to retire from work at 54, as well as suffering from depression and anxiety, for over 20-30 years. People think it is easy to not shop, but it is not, when you get caught up in overthinking, people pleasing behaviors to try and figure out why your not receiving anything back from others. I’m always looking for validation and I give it to myself by shopping. I will not give up! My self discovery journey continues. Thank you guys again for this episode!!!
American’s are very intense consumers and the marketing executives are extremely skilled at separating us from our money. I’m a shopper and tend to spend however as you get older you do gain insight how unimportant most “things” we buy really are in our life.
I now have the mindset of: "I have enough, I will always have more than enough". And the universe will often remind me: "You already have what you need". From this starting point, I am free to choose (and free not to choose) without any feeling of lack. For the items that I use/touch every day, I want them to delight me with color/texture/shape/aesthetics, etc. (So, yes Ryan, do swap out your kettle if the new one is as user friendly for you as it is beautiful!)
My mom was a terrible shopping addict for very expensive clothing that she never wore. She would drag us kids along and parade the aisle with her potential new outfit. Her wardrobe was filled and yet never saw the day of light since she only wore the same old jeans and sweater daily. My dad always asked her to go out for dinner or travel and she always said no because she gets homesick, so never a chance to wear anything special. Its like she was living in her own fantasy or something. That’s a bad habit to shake for kids who watched. I just avoid stores altogether, it’s way easier not to be tempted
I'm working on this - it's been with me a very long time. I needed to hear these things and to be with folks of like minds. Thank you!
"Need for chaos." Yes, a wonderful insight. I describe that remark!
Thank you for your podcast it really helped us a lot - really appreciate your help.
I lived in the US for a year, right next to a Premium Outlet. I got so crazily shopping addicted. It took me some time to recover. But the overstimulation of adverts, offers etc supported it...
That was some years ago. In my home country I also had a shopping addiction during the beginning of the pandemic. But now it's different. And as they say "you don't stop it, you see through".
I love the minimalists and I am thankful for their videos!
I love how meaty and juicy this podcast is. Ive been searching a long time for a podcast like this to understand why i just cant help myself buy something so i just have to avoid stores altogether. I setup my own retail shoppe to channel my shopping addiction into a business and now im closing after 2 years, one readon being that i hate that im selling clutter!
I don't like buying things (never have) but I do like window shopping. I live in Europe and we have some nice shopping streets, which I enjoy taking walks on.
I developed an online shopping addiction for fashion items during the first two years of the pandemic. I was on home isolation until recently (high-risk medical profile), and it was the only thing that seemed to combat the boredom and isolation. I couldn’t even see my family! I don’t beat myself up for it, it helped me through a terrible time. But now that I’m back in control of my shopping, I need to do a major decluttering, I have two extra racks of clothing that don’t fit in my small closet. There’s no walk-in closets in my tiny Victorian cottage, it didn’t have even one closet when I bought it, I’ve added several for linens, tools, vacuums and brooms and other essentials.
Ryan - you say your intro with so much passion "because advertisements suck!" LOL and I agree 100 percent!
Was not expecting to hear a Steven Wilson reference on your show!
I'm very proud to say that as a 45 year old, I have never owned a credit card. I could never trust myself, as a type A personality it makes my life easier to cut things out than have to fix the problem later. That's just my obsessiveness.
loving this!
I don't think advertising works on me, I see ads on Instagram or in a store, but I just go okay and go on with my day.
I loved what the caller named “manny” said about photography it was super helpful
U guys r great and i dont know why u dont have many more subscribers..
I dye my black clothes to refresh the items. I also dye dingy whites with camel or ecru colored dye. Just a suggestion.
Stephanie in Colorado, our local wildlife rescue center put out a community request for hand-knitted or -crocheted nests for baby birds, (they gave the approximate sizes they need), your local center might need the same. Your idea is wonderful, too. Animal rescue agencies always need secondhand towels and blankets, too, they don’t care what they look like, so long as they are useable.
Thanks for this ❤️
...it's about renewing your mind...and it can take a lifetime...
Im really liking the paintings on the wall. Always enjoy your vedios!
Such an excellent episode! I needed this to keep me on track!
I wonder about gear acquisition syndrome. My shopping addiction comes from my desire to keep adding guitar effects pedals, or plugins for my music. Every time a new program comes out that simplifies the music process I feel like I neeed to get it. Or if a cool sound pack comes out or virtual instrument I feel like its the sound I've been missing. I wonder what the best advice would be for people who use their hobbies as an excuse for their shopping addiction. Its followed me everywhere whether its been camera gear or music gear.
I wonder if it comes from lack of confidence in your skill as an artist, and an attempt to compensate by having the latest and newest tech and gear? What does your soul searching say? Personally as a photographer I don’t buy new gear until my art has earned the money for it and I truly need what I’m upgrading to, more than the money itself. Borrowing gear or using free trials have also been useful for me to see if it’s worth spending on
I prefer to wear plain clothing options without status symbolism for the reason i believe its ridiculously brainwashing most people. Why pay so much money to advertise a more than likely corrupt company. Also...who wants to look like everyone else??
Fast fashion has gone past ridiculous in my opinion.
Thank you. Americans need to save more and buy less. Tina
House or interior magazines. Triggers for shopping for me.
Thank you) Спасибо, все еще мечтаю о русских субтитрах. В России очень много ваших последователей)))
I tried doing this recently and it’s really helped a lot, instead of purchasing things if I really like them or find them shiny and new, I take a photo of it. If I remember I took the photo, I’ll look at the photo and usually, I go; wow that was a cool looking item, but I don’t want it now. It’s helped me from buying compulsively because I think sometimes we see something neat and want to share it or show it to people around us, and I think the photo works just as well.
Shopping doesn’t always mean buying
Window shopping is an aged craft
I have a now 17 year old tv and my coffee table is 25 years old and guess what im happy with them people think you need the latest and greatest not me im happy with my things and i just bought a bed head board for 20 dollars the other head board was 17 years and it was worn i say if someone doesnt like peoples things dont look at it i have never been into all these trends but to each his own i also made 5 dollars for the older metal head board i recycled good listening
I resubscribed on Patreon. Is this content part of the Patreon benefits?
This is the public podcast, available to everyone for free. The private podcast is what you gain access to when you become a Patreon supporter. Thank you so much for supporting our work! 🥰
If you wear black, just dye your clothes when they start to fade!
I know! you are on TikTok! people think it was a fan posting for you!
I love it! So cute! we want a dance!
Can you link the video, I can't find it
Sometimes I go shopping because it seems like “the productive” thing to do. Also because it is a convenient activity in the suburbs. There aren’t many parks or recreational areas that I feel safe in by myself. Isn’t it unfortunate that most females have to think about their safety in circumstances that males do not???
Yes, it is unfortunate. Thank you for your comment. I feel similar to you.
I had only 1pair of shoes and I loved those for little over two years, until the day when they needed to retire (overdue). Vivo barefoot was the first brand I tried when I went "barefoot" and I used them all the way throughout winter time (which I found out was too cold with 15 minus degrees). Now that I had worn them out completely I had to look for another pair of barefoot shoes. I had to search for over one year before I found my new pair. I finally found a pair that I completely fell in love with so I bought 2 extra pairs of shoes, for later use and for when these gets worn out. I don't easily find shoes or clothes that I love so when I do find something like this I stock up. I've had so many times before when I have panicked because I couldn't find anything that would either fit, look a certain way and that just wasn't something I loved. When I find something like this I snatch them, just for save keeping for the days when they're possibly no longer available. I go by the essentials and these are a part of my essentials. Handmade, minimalistic shoes that I love.
What do I do with my huge computer monitor box. I bought it and if I ever going to return it or replace it, but In the meantime, that huge box is occupying some space.
Online shopping gives a multiple hit of the feel-good chemicals like dopamine. Once when you click Buy, once you receive the item, and at least once at first use or wearing of the item. I think that’s one reason why it’s such a difficult addiction to break. Another, for us female fashion shoppers, is that the way we look is so important to our “value” as women. No matter how smart, gifted, giving, etc., a woman is, it hardly counts in a society that values youth and beauty in women hundreds of times more than any other characteristics she might possess. For example, there was the brilliant scholar and writer Kathleen McCullough, whose monumental “Masters of Rome” series, though millions of words long, I just devoured, twice. I think she was also a research neurologist on the side! No male writer ever wrote about her without mentioning her obesity. This just doesn’t happen on the same order of magnitude to men in our society.
Minimalism can be an obsession, compulsion, and an addiction too.
I have reduced shopping to10percent except groceries but decluttered only 10percent I feel more productive now am I doing good
Dye fading clothes
I don’t have a shopping addiction, but for some reason, once in a while I get the urge of buying something new. I end up buying something for someone else, that way I don’t feel guilty later. That is still weird, maybe it is an addiction? 🤔🙄😮
Everytime you see an ad thick like a victim. Tell yourself the company is trying to get your hard earned money from you, to make them rich and you poor. If you need something, by all means research it well before buying; but if it is an impulse think how they are trying to trap you.
I feel hungry. An endless pit of hunger deep inside. ...
It feels like i have this hunger for being enough, having enough, being all things, having all things, buying peace of mind
Is it weird that I'm listening to this while "window" shopping on Amazon for new boots that I don't need but want?
I love Jocko willink!!!!
Been spending way past 10000 dollars on high quality Perfumes the past year. I love them and im addicted to shopping.
If im being honest, i have to work on bringing lunch to work. The problem I encounter is that i deal with the public everyday and it’s exhausting and depressing, and I have to force myself to eat something. And since im feeling down, I don’t know what to eat, so i end up buying something to eat. Other than that, I have no desire for a shopping expedition
Hi guys I’m Christina from Delware who is a Christian the ministries that I am connected to have a ton of books journals CDs DVDs, that pertain to the life of a Christian all relevant how much is clutter help
🖐🏼🙂