I have benefitted greatly from your podcasts and blogs! You have hit it on the head with everything you have said!! Thank you for your good work. It is truly God’s work.
I have a question as a betrayed partner. We had a full disclosure 2 years ago, which was 1 year after discovery. It was obviously uncomfortable on many levels and to be quite honest, a lot of the discomfort was added to by the attitude of my spouse's CSAT but that's another story. I had a marriage counselor with me but she was not a CSAT and this was her first time participating in a disclosure. All in all things were kind of lopsided! That said, one thing I greatly resented was that I was not given, or allowed to have, a copy of the disclosure statement. I have heard other betrayed partners say the same thing. From my perspective we are drinking from a fire house and completely overwhelmed by what we are hearing. It seems to me that a hard copy to look at later and digest might be of a lot of benefit. Why does it seem that the therapy community doesn't support this? What is the logic? Isn't this meant to be of benefit to the betrayed partner? I'd really like to hear some opinions. thanks
Agree with you 100%. Our therapists were inexperienced as well and they actually advised my ex wife to not disclose or even talk about her affairs. She even told me not to bring up the affairs at home either. After two months of seeing her, I ask when are we going to get to my healing. The answer she gave me was "we're not", that's on you to do on your own. Needless to say, we never made it through
Great content and very well presented. Thank you so much. I will be using this for my coaching clients as we prepare for FTD. Knowledge and information can really help eliminate lots of stress and anxiety around the process.
My wife felt zero guilt or remorse for her sexting with a younger married man at work until I found out. Then suddenly she felt guilt and remorse but oddly enough she was fine with everything until I found out. She tried spinning it as harmless flirting so the next day when she got home from work I said there's a suitcase upstairs I need you to leave the house. Then she realized it wasn't so harmless and now we are trying to save a 20-year relationship and I still do not believe I know all of the details. It's funny how people suddenly feel guilt and remorse when their dirty little secret is discovered but are perfectly fine with it until such time
I love this. Is it okay to have a disclosure after 1 1/2 post DD. My husband tells me he can’t remember certain things and won’t answer those questions.
I wished my husband would watch this. All I get it I can’t remember she meant nothing but it lasted two years. He says no sex but messages say yes. I can’t trust or even rebuild when it’s all lies. He lies about his porn etc. how can you live with this inside you I don’t get it. But he says he wants to fix us. Not gonna happen
Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life. To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/clarity/
I have benefitted greatly from your podcasts and blogs! You have hit it on the head with everything you have said!! Thank you for your good work. It is truly God’s work.
Such a great point, the ones who never come clean never get to live this way. It’s a saddest thing. You do great work keep it up.
Thanks for your comment!
I have a question as a betrayed partner. We had a full disclosure 2 years ago, which was 1 year after discovery. It was obviously uncomfortable on many levels and to be quite honest, a lot of the discomfort was added to by the attitude of my spouse's CSAT but that's another story. I had a marriage counselor with me but she was not a CSAT and this was her first time participating in a disclosure. All in all things were kind of lopsided! That said, one thing I greatly resented was that I was not given, or allowed to have, a copy of the disclosure statement. I have heard other betrayed partners say the same thing. From my perspective we are drinking from a fire house and completely overwhelmed by what we are hearing. It seems to me that a hard copy to look at later and digest might be of a lot of benefit. Why does it seem that the therapy community doesn't support this? What is the logic? Isn't this meant to be of benefit to the betrayed partner? I'd really like to hear some opinions. thanks
Agree with you 100%. Our therapists were inexperienced as well and they actually advised my ex wife to not disclose or even talk about her affairs. She even told me not to bring up the affairs at home either. After two months of seeing her, I ask when are we going to get to my healing. The answer she gave me was "we're not", that's on you to do on your own. Needless to say, we never made it through
Great content and very well presented. Thank you so much. I will be using this for my coaching clients as we prepare for FTD. Knowledge and information can really help eliminate lots of stress and anxiety around the process.
My wife felt zero guilt or remorse for her sexting with a younger married man at work until I found out. Then suddenly she felt guilt and remorse but oddly enough she was fine with everything until I found out. She tried spinning it as harmless flirting so the next day when she got home from work I said there's a suitcase upstairs I need you to leave the house. Then she realized it wasn't so harmless and now we are trying to save a 20-year relationship and I still do not believe I know all of the details. It's funny how people suddenly feel guilt and remorse when their dirty little secret is discovered but are perfectly fine with it until such time
the volume is really low in this video
Agree. I Have volume all the way up on YT and on my computer....
I love this. Is it okay to have a disclosure after 1 1/2 post DD. My husband tells me he can’t remember certain things and won’t answer those questions.
@Michelle Mays how soon should the disclosure be done? My h started seeing a CSAT 3 months ago, keeps pushing his sessions. We're 8 months post dday 😪
I wished my husband would watch this. All I get it I can’t remember she meant nothing but it lasted two years. He says no sex but messages say yes. I can’t trust or even rebuild when it’s all lies. He lies about his porn etc. how can you live with this inside you I don’t get it. But he says he wants to fix us. Not gonna happen
Braving Hope is a ground-breaking coaching intensive for betrayed partners around the world. Move out of the devastation of betrayal, relieve your trauma symptoms and reclaim your life.
To find out if Braving Hope is right for you, schedule a call now: www.michellemays.com/clarity/