My son and I open up about his mental health struggles
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 พ.ย. 2021
- My book (which includes my son's input and a chapter written by him) is now available everywhere books are sold: www.penguinrandomhouse.com/bo...
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It’s impossible to sum up six years in one video. There’s a lot we didn’t cover… 7 different psychiatrists, 5 different therapists, various testing, various medications, all the times he had serious suicidal thoughts, self-harm, switching high schools multiple times in a desperate attempt to find the healthiest environment for him, not graduating with his class (he eventually did graduate), a second residential treatment center because his depression was unbearable for him, how complicated it is at times to even get the necessary help, arguing with the insurance company, how his younger siblings were affected by all of this, all the mistakes I made, all the lessons we learned together…
I will continue to share and will always give Luka a chance to share if he chooses to do so again. I’m proud of him. And I’m proud of all of you who are struggling and those who are trying their best to support a loved one who is struggling. You are not alone, so please don’t try to navigate this alone. Getting help is never a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength. - บันเทิง
"You will never be a waste of my time, and I will always keep showing up for you."
That is honestly the best thing a mother could ever say to her child! That line hit me especially hard because my own mother was very abusive and narcissistic. I am so glad the world still has people like you in it, Kristina.
Same! That line just killed me! I also grew up with an abusive narcissistic parent, and now I have a teenager of my own with mental health issues. I’m gonna have to remember those words, and use them with my child.
Please thank your son for sharing and thank you as well. I am not dealing with these specific issues with my kids but we have 4 teenagers at home right now and it is NOT for the faint of heart. These are hard times and they're hard on our kids and hard on us. It takes so much strength for our kids to overcome the pressures, drama, and challenges of this life and it takes soooo much strength for us to stumble, struggle, and crawl through trying to parent them through it all. But, in sharing we can help others. Your son is helping others and you are too. It reminds me of a quote from a woman who survived some horrific experiences "Make your mess a message, you can't let it destroy your life, life is too beautiful."
This. This was one of the most honest conversations that sooooo many kids and adults need to hear...and have. Thank you both for doing this!!! Its hard to hear as a mom of a 15 yr old son...but I want you both to know that I learned, felt, saw more in the last 20 min I just watched about your journey that has given me a better understanding of how different depression and anxiety are with each person and to know each situation is different...but can't be all treated the same. I suffer from both... And I know...i KNOW just watching and listening ....really listening is going to help me as a mom with my son... And as me trying to help myself navigate through the different aspects of mental health.... Thank you BOTH from the bottom of my heart...💞💗
Sending your family so much love!
A game where the rules kept changing and never being able to please your parent is EXACTLY how I felt as a teenager. Wow.
I am sobbing. I just recently went through all of this with my daughter (psych hold and all) and it was so hard to see my baby go through this. It's still a battle and so much work everyday. I'm on edge everyday worried about her whenever she goes out. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for this video...I needed this. This gives me hope.
Bravo to you Luka- you are strong and courageous; a young man of character, intellect and heart - a bright future ahead of you. ⭐
Bravo special Mum 💕
A cryptic FB post hinted at this a few years ago. Became a call to prayer for you guys. I had felt connected and tremendously helped already by your videos and was now pouring out a mother's heart to God on your behalf. That was so important to me because I know how piercing it can feel when our kids are suffering and we're wobbling through being helpful enough. You've helped me see good in my attempts and even my messy missteps. Thank you! Hard to believe it's been 4 years already. We've all come through a lot. Thrilled for what you've produced here together in this video. Like beautiful, shapely blown glass from the furnace. 💙
This is amazing. As a mom to a son who struggles with mental health and addiction, I applaud your conviction to encourage others. Keep up the work! You're both a blessing!
I can’t even express how impressed I am with Luka and where he is being so young with these experiences. Wise beyond years. And how mature to sit down and have a raw honest conversation with your mom like that and for others to see. Thank you.
And Kristina 🙌🏼 thank you for helping other moms they aren’t alone in the pain and the way they are trying to navigate helping their child. ❤️❤️ you are inspired, your dedication as a mother is palpable.
I have watched this 3 times so far and cried every time. My brother is suffering from mental health. I pray everyday he finds his worth and love in the world
Oh my heart! Really upset me! I’m so proud of you & your son! I have a long history of complex mental health issues so this is close to home. It’s a good reminder to ask your kids how they are. Thank you 🙏🏻
Luka, I'm so impressed with your willingness to open up so honestly and publicly with your mom. I am also so grateful for it because it has given me such an important perspective should my children ever face these struggles themselves.
Kristina, I am so impressed with you as well. Not for this video. But for protecting his privacy and not sharing ANY of this while it was going on. All you said was you were struggling from time to time, but it would have been so easy, and probably felt good to vent/reach out for help/support/well wishes etc. etc. etc. to your supportive online community. To lean on them though such an incredibly difficult time. But you didn't. And that, to me, is the biggest indicator of your character and love for your son above all else. There's no doubt in my mind where Luka gets his strength, resolve, and character from.
Holy smokes, Luka… I don’t know how to ever thank you enough for sharing all this… for both me and my son who struggles with mental health… gosh, this is just so incredibly helpful.
Your mom said she believed you would help someone someday… I believe you are will continue to impact MANY. Bless you as you continue your journey ❤️
I am looking at my 3 weeks old son and watching this video, and I can't even imagine the amount of pain you've been through. I was diagnosed with clinic depression almost 20 years ago, and I know too well how it feels, and I can't help thinking -- what if this little helpless baby is going to have it too. How am I going to deal with it, when I am struggling myself. But then I look at you two, and it gives me hope. If you could go from the war, from the ruins of your own home, through all the pain and struggle, to the point when you can sit like this and have this incredible conversation with your handsome, smart, caring son today, I can handle this little depression of mine and keep myself together. If you could go through all of this, I have no excuse for self-pity, and I gotta get my sht together and just deal with my not-so-awful life. If you survived, I have no choice but survive. Thank you, both of you, for opening up, and being open and honest, and being a perfect example of how strong and powerful love is.
What an amazing young man to be able to tell his story in this way. I had a similar situation with my son who had mental health issues since age 12 and had years of issues before he was placed in residential at age 16 for 4 months. It was the hardest thing I had to do but it changed him for the better. There were still many years of anguish after that with alcoholism and arrests but finally at age 32 he became sober. It’s two years later and we are still all good. Life is so good now. I had the worst days of my life trying to save him until I joined al anon and was able to detach and finally let him suffer the consequences of his actions. After leaving him in jail for 2 months for an arrest for evading the police while he was driving drunk, he came out a different person. He didn’t start to understand what he was doing to himself and others with his drinking, until he ended up sitting in jail for months. It’s so hard to know the difference between helping and enabling, but I thank God that my son also seems to have come out the other end. Good job mama!
Thank you so much this is HUGE help for all the parents and kids who are going through similar situations 🙏 ❤ My 17,5 yo son is currently battling depression, suicidal thoughts and anxiety disorder 😢 Today he couldn't even make it to school... Thanks again for speaking up! We are so proud of you guys ❤❤
Oh wow. This may only be a small portion of what you went through, but it's pretty jaw-dropping nonetheless. I can't even imagine what the whole picture was like. This is breathtakingly brave of both of you, you're amazing role models here, I wish you both HUGE amounts of love & peace.
Thank you so much!
Because of this very important video I had a great conversation with my almost 11-yr-old son about the importance of mental health, communication and the dangers of drug use. I can’t thank you enough Luka for being vulnerable and brave here, telling your story. It will impact so many lives, I know it! Stay authentic!
Something I’ve always loved about Kristina is her ability to relate to so many. Me not having children but still relating to her honesty and struggles was so incredible to me. I appreciate you both being very raw on a hard topic. I hope that you both found peace and kindness and beautiful spirit through this process.
Just saw a reel on FB, mentioning this video.
As a grown up suffering from similar issues, and father of now almost grownup kids with again similar issues, I can only applaud your effort and his courage.
And I had to swallow hard quite a few times.
As a mom with mental health issues and has a kid with mental health issues this is made me bawl.
Thank you for sharing your journey. I have a 17-year-old who has struggled since seventh grade with depression and ADHD. Medication does not work for him. He turned to self-medicating as well. It’s been a long hard journey for him. He is doing better now, but still struggles with depression and coping with it in a healthy way. He also struggles with being honest, which is hard for me to understand. He’s a triplet and one of five boys in our family. It’s not easy being a multiple. Unfortunately he doesn’t have a close bond with his brothers. Praying for a brighter future!!!❤️🙏🏼
I can relate to your story. I also have a 17 year son with a similar background. Thank you for sharing!
I am watching this crying at how I feel like I am watching the situation we are going through with my son right now. Thank you for sharing this story. I am going to watch this with my son. I am hopeful that it will make an impact. He sounds so much like my son describing how he feels.
We have done the psych evaluation in the ER and he is doing better. I hope we can keep moving forward. Things still need to change to do that but I know he can do it. Thank you so much for sharing ❤
I pray and really hope we can get through this and have my son happy without anything to make him feel better.
Well that just had me crying like a baby. Happy for you both, I’ve struggled with my oldest this bast year but through learning to communicate properly things have gotten so much better.
Thank you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
As someone who has dealt with depression for over four decades...
As a mother with children who deal with depression (some of whom self-medicate)...
As a grandmother who recognizes the signs of depression in her grandchildren...
As a sister whose brother finally declared, after many years of self-medicating with alcohol, that he was tired of fighting the depression war by committing suicide...
As the niece of an uncle I never met because he committed suicide before I was even born...
Thank you, Kristina and Luka. Recording that interview took a lot of courage... and it may be the most important video you've ever made. Or ever will make.
May God bless you and yours.
My son was 6 when I divorced and his dad moved away. Raising him on this past 8 yrs alone (no family here in US) made me feel a lot of guilt. I couldn't date/remarry because my time is either working or dedicated for him. I really appreciate the courage from you both to come and doing this video. We always look our neighbor's grass greener. Now, watching this, I am not sure if I had remarried my son would not have depression but at least I know that I am not alone on this path. No matter what we do, how much love we give, sometimes they will go through those tough path. I still believe that your love and support was the best and it is what I am doing here. Again, THANK YOU for sharing this love.
I know this story.... It's been played out in my own life. Still waiting on the healing. So grateful to see an example of hope. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you both for this. My son has been through hell too and he's not completely out of the woods. This brings me a lot of hope. Thank you for having the courage to speak up. ❤️
This made me cry. 🥺 The unconditional love you show Kristina, it's beautiful.
Thank you Luka for sharing ❤️❤️ congratulations on 22 months.
So very powerful. My son is only 9 and I see so many red flags for what Amy come our way when he is older. Your story will inspire and help in the healing of so many! Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your journey
It's crazy how the whole time your life is perfect, social media can be so deceptive. I'm glad you put this conversation out there because many people are dealing with this.
I wish I came across this video 3 years ago as it would have given me some time to help my late partner who was using drugs too cope with his depression but I didn't realise how bad it was until it was too late. Thank you both for opening up and showing me a little of what he was going through.
This is something everyone should watch! You both hit so many points that’s not talked about enough. You are both amazing people!
Thank you so much!
I cannot thank you and Luka enough for this. I can't believe that it took me this long to view it and plan to watch it a few more rounds. My 16yo daughter is currently in a residential program. Luka's story is so similar to hers. Therapists, drs., testing, brain scans, etc. She's had such negative thoughts for so long her brain scans (SPECTS) are similar to PTSD patients. She's on her journey back to real living. I hate that we're going through this, but we've all grown so much that maybe it was what we needed in this season to open all of our eyes to the truth.
We just had her home for a few days at Thanksgiving. It was pure heaven to hold her in my arms, pure hell to send her back. But she goes back willingly (while saying she doesn't want to be there, of course) because she knows that at the end of this phase, she'll be in a better place. It breaks my heart to leave her there. Every. Single. Time. But I am grateful for programs like theirs and folks like you and Luka who share so openly.
Luka, it was a blessing for me to hear from your perspective. I learned, understood, and realized so much. You're helping. I cannot thank you enough. Kristina, it was such a relief to hear from yours. My heart ached for you as I know exactly how you feel from the mom perspective. I've told my daughter the same thing - you are worth all of the effort that I put out to help you. I'll keep going as long as it takes. Thank you. Much love to both of you.
😥💜
You both are so so brave and so so sooo amazing for sharing this and being this vulnerable. I’m a single mom and my oldest son is 16. Thank you thank you for sharing this 🖤🖤🖤
Thank you so much for sharing this. I wish I could have had this conversation with my parents. It took me until I was 42 to stop self medicating. Luka you are amazing to get where you are at this age. Be proud and I hope everyone sees this video.
Please make more videos with Luka if he is willing. Would love to hear how all of th is affected his siblings and how that has gotten better.
Thank you Luka, I’m going to give my
18 yr son a big hug now , he’s struggling too. You’re amazing ❤️
I have a son and I don’t even pretend to know how hard it was for both of you to get through of this. I just want to hug you and your son while hearing this story. He is such a brave and amazing person trying to help others with his honest story. Sending you both so much love and wish you guys happy and healthy ❤️
This broke my heart in to a million pieces and then wove those pieces back together again. Congratulations on your progress, Luka. This community is so proud of you.
And Kristina… from one mama to another, you are my hero. I can not imagine the broken heart you nursed during these events, but you did the hard things because they were the RIGHT things. You and Luka will save lives with this video.
Oh Kristina, I can hardly cope with this. Aside from how beautifully candid he is, your son makes lovely eye contact with you. As an autistic human, it's not something I'm super good at, but I do enjoy observing it in others.
How precious a mom and a son can be so open and talk about this topics and be vulnerable together. That’s life and love ❤
My son and I are walking a very similar path, bravo Zulu to you both for sharing your story. You give me hope for health and healing ❤️❤️
I am going through a hard time with my son and I have felt and experienced some of the things you mentioned..it was so nice to know I am not alone and there is hope! Thank you for being honest and vulnerable ❤️
Absolutely love! My daughter started having depression in the 5th grade but it didn’t come to a head until 6th grade. I feel guilty for not catching it earlier. I started having depression at 10 also. I now have treatment resistance depression. The difference is that I pray is that with her I heard a voice telling me (I call it the Holy Spirit) when I was crying out one day “GOD WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!!!” I heard “Do what you would have wanted to be done with you”. We got her help immediately and she is doing amazing! She would definitely talk openly like Luca does! As for me, it took 3 years for my parents to get me help. Such a breath of fresh air you two are!!
The depth of your material always surprises me. Wow!
Thank you.
This is so amazinggg to come out and bare your scars and talk about your healing! Thank you to both of you champions mom-son duo!! You’ll never know how many individuals you have helped!! 🙏🏻💙
My eldest also struggled with dep, and it was the most frightening time of my life. You are both a huge inspiration. A heartfelt thank you for doing this.
This came just in time, as I'm going through a very tough time watching my loved ones eaten by their pain , tired & want to take their own lives .. my heart is boiling from inside wanted to shoot different videos speaking with them about it to aware other people; however they're still struggling ..them came your video ..speaking about my dream , hope one day I would see them progressing in their healing journey, stretching their hands with me to rescue others..as I could not imagine my life without them ..prayers needed ..& thanking you a lot ❤️🌷
As a mom to a 3yr old boy and a stepmom to a 21yr old boy who has struggled…. This is the most important video I have ever seen. Thank you.
This is so powerful. I watched this and immediately changed how I spoke to my young kids. I sincerely appreciate your willingness to share such a tough time in your lives. You are helping, Luka. You helped me see a "kids" perspective. You are so brave.
Kristina, to think you were going through this while writing, touring, developing your career.....wow. Just wow. You are a super Mom and a genuinely good human. Btw, still think your show was one of the best I've seen. Hello from Denver!
Thank you both. I am in awe of the deep love that is here. Thank you.
I'm not bawling, you're not bawling.....as a family member of someone currently in a similar position, I am so very grateful and appreciative for this. Thank you both so much much.
Thank you for sharing this! you inspired to try to do this with my 22 yr old son that was fighting suicidal thought and actions for 5 years. We too never were going to give up on my son. then after he came out of residential and was going great two of my kids tried for harm their self one by hanging himself from a door (over body image issues) luckily my son that started all of this was there to save his little brother. then my daughter tried to end it by eating 16 prozac pills. let me note that my family is a blended family so they are children of divorce. This video is something that i wish i would have thought to do with my son. we have spoke about these things but never thought about filming it and sharing it with the world. I'm super happy to see your son happy and healthy. God bless you and your family.
When negative behavior requires a consequence vs when they need help is sooooo profound!!!
Wow. You two have been through so much 💖 I don’t think anything I’ve seen on YT has ever impacted me as much as this just did.
You’re tough as nails. Good job fighting for your son. I’m so glad he’s here and healthy and able to share his story.
Thanks to you and Luka for sharing this. My youngest son has been dealing with depression and anxiety since he was a teenager. When he was 17 he told me his plan for killing himself. It was so hard to get help in our area. Very few mental health services, and they were only available if court ordered. He also self-medicated, and did end up arrested. That was a turning point for him, and he eventually got clean. But the anxiety is still a big problem, and he is still struggling. It's so hard to see your child go through this.
Thank you both for being so brave to open up to everyone to know how that feels. ♥️
Thank you so much Luka for opening up about your struggles. I may be almost 40, but I see a lot of myself in you.
Your son is so strong for sharing his story… and you are an amazing momma for being so vulnerable yet strong.
Thank you for sharing your pain. Pain is growth not just for you, but for others as well. ❤️
This is one of the best videos and formats for addressing this. So vulnerable but also so well articulated. It will help many people, I'm sure of it. Thank you both for doing this! Lots of love.
My advice to parents when dealing with a child with mental/substance abuse is for a moment stop being the parent and become the friend. Learn, love, open the door and listen, above it all listen.
Thank you BOTH for sharing these hard things! This is so important for us to know!
With all my heart and soul, thank you for sharing this with the world.
Thank you thank you thank you, for sharing this. Both of you. I just spent the last 2 years going through this with my daughter. So many people don't understand how hard this is to go through with your child, but as parents we have to push. We have to push to get them the help they need so we can build a relationship to help them through.
Thank you both so much for sharing this! 😭🙏❤️
Sending you both so much love and respect!! These are the conversations we need to hear as parents. 💜 Thank you for opening this door.
I am crying! Thank you so much.
Two amazing people chatting about how hard life can be and giving all of us hope. Thank you for that. We are also struggling... Full of hope that things will get better. Thank you for this video. ❤️
oh I'm in bits, thank you so much Luca for your vulnerability and generosity in sharing your pain. It helps me to hear your story to make better choices in caring for the hearts of my 3 boys. Prayers for you and your parents and siblings from Ireland ❤
It’s so amazing that you guys are sharing this , hope it will help other families too
I absolutely love this! Your son is amazing for being willing to share his struggles in an honest and open way. Thank you for being willing to talk to him like this and allow us to get a glimpse of the difficulties of anxiety, depression, and drug abuse from both his and your sides.
This broke my heart as a mom who suffers from anxiety and depression with a son who struggles with anxiety and depression. My depression was what kept me numb and made me feel nothing, so I used drugs to feel euphoric. My son's depression is the opposite he doesn't use alcohol or drugs, but refuses to take prescription medication, so we have to deal with multiple suicide attempts..I feel like I'm running a marathon but staying at the starting line. This video was so powerful. Thank you, I love that you are helping with bringing awareness to mental health ❤
You’ve made me cry watching this. Thank you Luka for being so open to share & thank you both for sharing. I want to hug you both, you are helping so many people with your story.
A HUGE thank you to your son for being so brave to share his story THANK YOU
Tears. That was really touching.
Thank you so much for sharing! I'm so sorry you had to go through all this, and I am so happy you both are in a better place in your lives now!
Life isn't easy. There will be hills to climb, canyons to cross, abysses to jump. But knowing you have the support and love from someone will get you through.
There is ALWAYS someone who will miss you when you are gone!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing this and being so vulnerable! I can’t even imagine how hard it was for you and Luka to go through all of this. As a mom of a pre-teen son, I’m learning to listen to him and be more supportive. He asked me recently why is it so hard to grow up, and that everything was so simple when he was little. That time I realized that it is hard not only for us, parents, but also for our kids when they are becoming teens because they don’t know how to deal with the changes that happen in them. You both are so brave! Sending you lots of Love ❤️
Everyone needs to watch this. Thank you so much to you and your son for being so honest and to bring this type of awareness. I had the pleasure of meeting you last year before covid and you are so genuine!!
If we could only know how to help at the time, we’d be superhuman. As a mom, it broke my heart to hear this story but I learned from it. Thanks to you both. ❤️
Crying here thank you for sharing this
This is so beautiful and powerful. Hearing you each tell the stories from your own perspectives is eye opening and an good reminder that we never really know what someone else is thinking or feeling. Unless we ask, we can only know our own experience. Thank you both so much for allowing us into your journey.
Thank you for this! The honesty is something a lot of us needed.
Crying… but such an amazing message for any family member! Good job Luka!
You have to put in the work! Thank you both for opening up and sharing both sides of your stories. Keep at it Luka! :)
Oh wow. You’re both so raw, brave and vulnerable. Thank you both for sharing your stories. It will help many- please know that.
This is so good. Thank you, both, so much for sharing and being willing to talk honestly about these things. It's so important and so hard when you're not sure anyone can relate. Thank you.
Luka your insights and vulnerability will help so many families. thank you.
Thank you both for sharing! 🥰
Thank you so much for sharing this, and for both of you being so raw!! I'm in this season right now and really needed to hear all this. Thank you for giving me hope that one day my son can be on there other side of his mental illness!
More power and smiles to you, Luca and Kristina - your son is safe and breathing and working everyday to be the best he can be. Thank you for recognising that.
Bless you both x
I’m sobbing! Like ugly cry, Oprah would notice me, crying. I suffered with severe depression for so long. It started in my youth and carries on to this day. Thank you Luka for being pellucid and for allowing us to know about your darkest days. May your healing continue. May the sun shine on you for forever. May you know joy and bliss. Thank you 🧡
Thank you for posting this. There are a lot of us who that have been dealing with mental health issues with our kids. I so appreciate both of you.
You said it all.. the pain, the anguish, the struggle, the hope... tears and prayers ❤
Thank you sooo so much for sharing this with me! You have no idea how much of an impact it has made. Youve given me hope 💖
I am tearful, this is a very personal story you both shared. Thank you Luka for opening up!
This is such an important conversation. Thank you so much for sharing!!! ❤
Watching this with tears in my eyes . It reminded me and my son. Thank you both . You are month amazing ❤
This is real life. Thanks to both of you for your willingness to share your experiences in order to help others through tough times.