That there was a good story. When Mia initially discovered the sword, I was wondering how you intended to keep your story G=for general audiences. I realize that you had to push the story forward to keep the timeline short. I could envision a book, or even a series, based upon this brief story. Anyway, you're getting better at storytelling.
Interesting concept. There are some good elements in the story. But, this yarn need editing, a tighter more convincing narrative. There are a few places of repetition and others that detract rather than enhance. I follow ths Tengu Geijutsu Ron, so I loom at this adventure from 武蔵の心 . Do not give up! You can turn this from merely good to fantastically inspiring. A 侍の魂は刀に宿る, same for his みがきます. To your pen perhaps?
A small hiccup in the middle of the story, battle is engaged, the entire town backing Mia, and then we step backwards in time and have Mia doing a practice session to learn how to use the sword before reaching nearly the same place we jumped away from. It's a little disjointed but it could definitely be worse, but it needs to be tightened up. Also, somebody needs to train the AI how to use punctuation. It puts periods (breaks in the narrative) right before the last word in a sentence for unknown reasons far too often. The voice inflection isn't bad though, much better than the AIs that read things in flat tones.
I'm pretty sure that's an over exaggeration. Not saying it isn't dangerous but I seriously doubt kids are much more likely to hit themselves playing with a sword than playing with a stick. You don't suddenly become incompetent and clumsy just because consequences are more severe...
Interesting story, but how did that first fight end? Did the aliens run away, did they close in on her and she sliced them up? How did they get out of the thicket? Incomplete story.
Hmmm... AI picture, AI Reader, perhaps AI Written as well? It sounds quite a bit like many other stories I have heard lately.... like the AI can't get away from a few cliche phrases and overwrought descriptions... The story has potential... IF you are writing it yourself...
That there was a good story. When Mia initially discovered the sword, I was wondering how you intended to keep your story G=for general audiences. I realize that you had to push the story forward to keep the timeline short. I could envision a book, or even a series, based upon this brief story. Anyway, you're getting better at storytelling.
WoW thank you very much, you really don't know how much good your comment did for me! God bless you!
Yes. I put it down to the heuristic function embedded in the AI.
@@FictionalReimagined
😂😂😂😂
Not a bad response at all ... from an AI.
Interesting concept. There are some good elements in the story. But, this yarn need editing, a tighter more convincing narrative. There are a few places of repetition and others that detract rather than enhance. I follow ths Tengu Geijutsu Ron, so I loom at this adventure from 武蔵の心 . Do not give up!
You can turn this from merely good to fantastically inspiring. A 侍の魂は刀に宿る, same for his みがきます. To your pen perhaps?
"Let's go to the library" - I like that! 🙂
Thanks!
Easier to Google that to walk into a library with a sword.
@@johnminer1407 Hey... I liked this
I just luv the Look on her face, holding the Sword !
Thanks!
she looks both sadistic and slightly evil.
Hero + enchanted sword + evil adversary = an ancient story in snazzy new clothes.
lol
The look in Mia's eyes telling the aliens you came to the planet for something that is not yours no matter what you think
Hey thanks for this!
that girl just looks like they repurposed an image of gollum
lol
Human Super Soldier : I have a sword!
Alien : Big deal
12 year old Girl : I have a sword too.
Alien : Oh SH*T! RUN!!!!!
lol
I believe that the sword in the hand of a girl is more deadly than in the hand of the super soldier the Alien is right!
How did the three kids go from the library to the tree and back in a🤪 paragraph?
@@DavidClark-es1ww Teleportation?
A small hiccup in the middle of the story, battle is engaged, the entire town backing Mia, and then we step backwards in time and have Mia doing a practice session to learn how to use the sword before reaching nearly the same place we jumped away from. It's a little disjointed but it could definitely be worse, but it needs to be tightened up. Also, somebody needs to train the AI how to use punctuation. It puts periods (breaks in the narrative) right before the last word in a sentence for unknown reasons far too often. The voice inflection isn't bad though, much better than the AIs that read things in flat tones.
Hey, you made my heart happy, thank you very much!
Another good story spoiled by repetition.
Thanks!
The way the sword was handled body parts would be coming off. Real swords are dangerous in untrained hands.
This is real!
bc!! li. be. mm mm m mm mmz
Maybe the character is a natural ... it's just a fantasy story so anything is possible.
I'm pretty sure that's an over exaggeration. Not saying it isn't dangerous but I seriously doubt kids are much more likely to hit themselves playing with a sword than playing with a stick. You don't suddenly become incompetent and clumsy just because consequences are more severe...
@@t1n4444 True!
Enjoyed the story!.
Hey thanks for this!
Bah bah bah.
Interesting story, but how did that first fight end? Did the aliens run away, did they close in on her and she sliced them up? How did they get out of the thicket? Incomplete story.
You're becoming a better writer every day
Hey...thanks so much, good to see you again!
Yes, that's how AIs work.
Hmmm... AI picture, AI Reader, perhaps AI Written as well? It sounds quite a bit like many other stories I have heard lately.... like the AI can't get away from a few cliche phrases and overwrought descriptions... The story has potential... IF you are writing it yourself...
Thanks!
Good story base but you screwed up with yhe jumping back and forth from battle then training. Causing discontinuity in the story. WTF????
Sorry for this! But Thanks for the commentary!
You need to organize your story board. Otherwise, a cute story.
Thanks!
Mia looks like a psycho in the image and the blade is not correct for a samurai sword.
Thanks!
It's a fantasy story, authored and read by an AI suite.
And not too bad for all that.
Is that Samurai Jack's sword?
Hey... this is true!
Yes. Wielded by a descendant of Aang the Airbender.
Once again there is VERY BAD editing, get it fixed before you lose subscibers.
Thanks!
Story is good, but you didn’t update the photo to the narrative. You can do better 🤷♂️
I don't think the photo is important. Its just artwork to get people's attention.
You are supposed to listen to the story, not watch it.
Hey... thanks for this!
Stupid story, muddled chronology.
Thanks!