I love how Aperture’s reaction to losing money is not to change their practices to something more efficient... but to go out and scam the fuck out of other universes.
It all makes sense now! Just as they tricked those alternate Apertures into building test chambers at their own expense, they've tricked _us_ into _designing_ them for free by marketing the venture to us as a game! The whole _Portal_ franchise has been a ploy to get free test chamber blueprints! :O!
Nah, Cave pays the bills around there so if he says he wants to use moon rocks for panels and diamonds to cut those panels then that's whats going to happen
I love how inefficient this machine is. Uses like, twice the Conversion Gel necessary. Shoots a bunch of metal storage lockers and destroys them for no reason. Slices up the portal surface to be smaller, also for no reason. Uses one enormous diamond for each cut, then ejects the diamond from the machine and switches to the next one. Packs up the portal surface into a box, moves it via forklift like two feet, then drops it and it gets unpacked and moved
They have some really genious scientists so they make a crap ton of money but they are horrible at money management so they're always pretty much broke lol
I kinda wonder if the Janitors for that area made a killing just taking he discarded diamonds . So long as they resigned before testing became mandatory for staff
"he wasn't a scientist. Just a simple farmer; A professor of farming at the local farm college; Never farmed a day in his life" Internet comments in a nutshell.
Every game defined partially by their level design, you mean. Completely story based games don't need them, but platformers, puzzlers, FPS games, etc. should. Can't build de_dust2 in a game if it doesn't have a level editor.
gradiosaurs and his father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father was a CTRL fan and a CTRL freak.
I've only just realized that what Cave said about his father was a reference to the fact that J.K. Simmons plays Professor Burke in the Farmers Insurance commercials.
Even funnier, the "corner cutting machine" is using one diamond per corner-cut, and then discarding each diamond, and Cave Johnson wonders why they are almost bankrupt
Considering how inefficiently they do their stuff, how most of the workers seem to not be doing anything in the video and how comically incompetent the aperture laboratories seem to be in general. I can actually see cases of employee’s coping each other’s blueprints and designs happening in universe.
No. However, in one universe, Cave actually buys out Black Mesa, renames it "Blappeture Mesa," and then stops the research of the Xen crystals and basically prevents Half-Life ever happens.
"Orientation Video is for internal use only. Do not distribute to other Earths." "A Note about Getting Back To Work: in the event that you`re reading this, get back to work." LOL!
@@arduous222 it has also *opens sheet* DOUBLED in price! I don't care how good it tastes it's costing more than lobster! We're gonna have to go back to fish sticks.
lol the corner-cutting machine is just throwing aside 'used' diamonds for the diamond-edge laser (or whatever). "And now we're almost bankrupt." Yeah? No shit, Cave.
yeah so ye see i was using my new blueprint to build a level 4 sentreh but someone changed it and I accidentally built a giant room with white walls in the middle of the battlefield
Oh, my goodness. I only just noticed that the corner cutting machine cuts corners using diamonds, and it uses and discards a diamond for each corner it cuts. That's amazing.
0:49 "And more importantly, all PAYING for test chamber construction. Why are they agreeing to do that? They're not, we're tricking them." The REAL American business model. 😂
A Few of them you can Find ... to a degree either in the Main Campain or Co-Op Campain. Sure they dont use the Perpetual Testing Initiative Test Chamber Desgin & Uploading Tool Platform but whatever Valve used, so they are bound to have a more ... charming complexity than the brutaly optimized Gridworks of the ... oh god ... Perpetual Testing Initiative Test Chamber Desgin & Uploading Tool Platform.
@@Techischannelsorry to necro "whatever valve used" but you mean hammer? The level editor standard with all games since like steam's release of HL2? Definitely since the PC's orange box. It is a PITA but is significantly more powerful than the in game editor.
*"Everytime I look like at our Test Chamber production line, I am reminded of my father. Now, he wasn't a scientist, just a simple farmer- A professor of farming at the local farm collage! Never farmed a day in his life, but his theories of farming are the backbone of this company."*
"And you are the bottleneck." *Character at desk turns head toward the viewer waves* "Yes, you. Now get back to work." *Character turns head back and starts typing on keyboard. Then looks back again while still typing*
I’ve seen a guy looking at something on a blurred screen, I’ve seen a guy looking at one of the Meet The Team Fortress 2 characters, I’ve see a turret working on a computer, I’ve seen the diamond stealing guy, what else?
This was and still is the greatest late birthday gift. The idea of making custom test chambers was so thrilling, I legitimately made sketches of ideas for tests I could make before this came out.
This is easily the funniest extras in any game, ever made! The guy making the voice of Cave Johnson (J.K. Simmons) is totally one of my biggest idols! :D
0:54 wait so only the aputuare sience in the "real world" is using multivereses to profet of other aputuare sience so our aputuare is more evil then the other's
Its funny how this part (0:20) is absolutely pointless because the bullets penetrate the walls. What's even funnier is that the turrets fire the whole bullet, so even if they're weaker, the wall is still weak enough for a spring charged bullet and casing to go through.
Just noticed this after watching this trailer for the ♾️time, look at the screen at the top right screen at 1:13. I think that guy's working on a whole different kind of test.
Aperture uses new turrets for testing panels, then just destroy them. Aperture Corner Cutting Machine uses diamonds for cutting, and 1 diamond for one corner, and then it just throw diamonds. And Cave Johnson is complaining that they are almost bankrupt.👌 Good job Aperture! ))
I love how Aperture’s reaction to losing money is not to change their practices to something more efficient... but to go out and scam the fuck out of other universes.
when in doubt: scam other universes
Sounds like what most companies end up doing to their customers!
They just took my very creative test chamber :(
@@rubystickmc8354 Look at that sad octopus hehe..
That's a "give the lemons back" if I've ever seen one
"So, time for a cheaper approach! Allow me to introduce... THE MULTIVERSE."
Uh... Mr. Johnson?
SHOOSH! IT ISN'T THE REAL ONE
HE DIDN'T SAY "CHARIOTS CHARIOTS"
That moon dust getting to you Mr.johnson?
Umm this was before the alternate Cave’s came into the picture
He use 4 diamonds to cut a thing smaller
He's already 4 parallel universes ahead of us
It all makes sense now! Just as they tricked those alternate Apertures into building test chambers at their own expense, they've tricked _us_ into _designing_ them for free by marketing the venture to us as a game! The whole _Portal_ franchise has been a ploy to get free test chamber blueprints! :O!
we made portal 3
Yes, We knew that already. You didn’t know? :p
ExoBot343 OH HOLY CRAP!!!! 🤯
We are the Communityverse, or the.. University?
The scariest part is that this might actually be true. I mean, we may not be the Prime Earth, but some other one which Cave Johnson rips off
0:25 I like it how the corner cutting machine uses a different diamond for each cut.
The pinnacle of efficiency.
+Brandon Burrows The Pinnacle of cheapness as well, sense it dumps them in a pit afterwards
+Alex Gentilucci its aperture science they have 10 times the money as Scrooge mc fucking duck
Hahaha, Nice catch!
Nah, Cave pays the bills around there so if he says he wants to use moon rocks for panels and diamonds to cut those panels then that's whats going to happen
Cave Johnson: Introduces multiverse.
Cave Johnson in another universe: Hates Spider-Man.
Cave Johnson in another universe too: Intimidate some music club drummer boy
Cave Jhonson in another universe: He is an anthropomorphic lion, president of the most important city.
@@saulesalejos4483 I JUST LEGIT FIGURED THAT OUT WHEN REWATCHING THAT THIS WEEK. mind....blown.....
Cave Johnson in another universe: Somehow an anthropomorphic yak with some cool chain-swords
Cave Johnson in another universe: Master airbender training the new avatar
I want a game about Cave's dad the professor of farming.
Lee Anderson so...
LETS PRAY TO GABEN!
I wonder what he taught in his classes.
Nutritional studies?
Go watch the Farmers Insurance advertisments. Boom.
stardew valley
I love how inefficient this machine is. Uses like, twice the Conversion Gel necessary. Shoots a bunch of metal storage lockers and destroys them for no reason. Slices up the portal surface to be smaller, also for no reason. Uses one enormous diamond for each cut, then ejects the diamond from the machine and switches to the next one. Packs up the portal surface into a box, moves it via forklift like two feet, then drops it and it gets unpacked and moved
And also wastes every single turret
this is how factories are run in china
There's also a ton of people standing around doing nothing but drink
They have some really genious scientists so they make a crap ton of money but they are horrible at money management so they're always pretty much broke lol
I kinda wonder if the Janitors for that area made a killing just taking he discarded diamonds . So long as they resigned before testing became mandatory for staff
"he wasn't a scientist. Just a simple farmer; A professor of farming at the local farm college; Never farmed a day in his life"
Internet comments in a nutshell.
r/askreddit in a nutshell
we live in a socialist society
@@HairyHariyama Not a farmer but
LMAO
I feel like this line was inspired in part by Norm's "Professor of Logic" joke
I genuinely believe every game needs a map maker like this.
Every game defined partially by their level design, you mean. Completely story based games don't need them, but platformers, puzzlers, FPS games, etc. should. Can't build de_dust2 in a game if it doesn't have a level editor.
@@beebfajeejy yeah, but it's pretty archeic
@@beebfajeejy Hammer is source only.
@@ashtonhoward5582 eh i don't know, Half-Life 2 is a story-heavy FPS and there are a ton of good custom campaigns.
@@SnrubSource it has a bunch of good mechanics and design
At Aperture Science, work consists mostly of whapping the control key repeatedly.
Cave Johnson must be a CTRL Freak xD
His Father's Father's Father's Father's Father's Father's Father's Father's Father's Father's Father must have been a CTRL fan.
gradiosaurs and his father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father's father was a CTRL fan and a CTRL freak.
Thunderclap oi you forgot a full stop every reply on this comment has one FIX IT.
Hah. using the CTRL key for Binary or something.
I've only just realized that what Cave said about his father was a reference to the fact that J.K. Simmons plays Professor Burke in the Farmers Insurance commercials.
Yay thanks for the tidbit m8 :
Uhh... Has he been doing those for a whole decade? That's one good gig if so...
@@SomeTH-camTraveler Yes, yes he has
@Victor Luigi Whiplash
He knows a thing or two because he’s Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science.
1:18 "Ctrl-Ctrl-Ctrl-Ctrl-Ctrl-Ctrl"
Stickykeys has activated
Anthan Krufix That's Shift, not Ctrl.
MajorLeagueGamer838 ctrl also activates sticky keys
ctrl intensifies
Bumblyninja Does it?
Huh. I need to read up on my keyboard shortcuts.
At 1:15 at the bottom you can see a bendy guy is watching meet the pyro. Just wanted to point that out.
Oh my God.
Wow . . .
endercoder top right one is watching something that's censored
just like Stanley xD
endercoder o
"Well- that's a corner cutting machine, we obviously cut them there."
That one always cracks me up.
Even funnier, the "corner cutting machine" is using one diamond per corner-cut, and then discarding each diamond, and Cave Johnson wonders why they are almost bankrupt
Cave Johnson: “Get back to work.”
Employee: *commits plagiarism*
by rebuilding one of the test chambers earlier on
Not plagiarism if you're stealing from yourself!
"Honestly Caroline what do I pay these people for?"
I believe this employee and the Cave Johnson narrating the video might be in a universe separate from the Portal 2 singleplayer campaign.
Considering how inefficiently they do their stuff, how most of the workers seem to not be doing anything in the video and how comically incompetent the aperture laboratories seem to be in general. I can actually see cases of employee’s coping each other’s blueprints and designs happening in universe.
Is there a universe where Half-Life 3 is created?
little octopus gabe newel made eight-half lives but then again that was the same universe where hitler won
No. However, in one universe, Cave actually buys out Black Mesa, renames it "Blappeture Mesa," and then stops the research of the Xen crystals and basically prevents Half-Life ever happens.
If you believe the multiverse theory then yes.
Insane-inator given Cave's complete disregard for human life, I'm not necessarily sure.
he could have done it out of spite towards his competitors
"Orientation Video is for internal use only. Do not distribute to other Earths."
"A Note about Getting Back To Work: in the event that you`re reading this, get back to work."
LOL!
Holy shit, I can make new, unique Portal maps by mashing CTRL?! Sign me up!
Test Subject 1499: Name commentingaccount64
FIT FOR TESTING
Okay, done for you :) Muahahahaha
and delete
@UCL5mUn6YZEKQI27qFDFKOIA fuck off
@@orionarm seems like you got hacked
0:55
$ = Hardened lumps of kelp
Percentage of peanut dust in atmosphere: 34%
Soylent Green made of: LOBSTER
Nice alternate universe earth.
There’s also a donut earth.
Soylent Green is LOBSTERS! sounds much better. I mean, the dominant sentient species of that planet is not lobster.
@@arduous222 it has also *opens sheet* DOUBLED in price! I don't care how good it tastes it's costing more than lobster! We're gonna have to go back to fish sticks.
"Look at that sad 'lil octopus. Eh-he!"
Cracks me up every time.
1:18
*Would you like to turn on sticky keys?*
Did anyone else notice one computer was censored xD
i did
and one guy had a diamond, other was watching the portal 2 trailer, other was sad, and one was a robot instead of a human xd
Hahahahaha
Love that you felt the need to censor yourself xD
LJH XD yeah!
lol the corner-cutting machine is just throwing aside 'used'
diamonds for the diamond-edge laser (or whatever).
"And now we're almost bankrupt."
Yeah? No shit, Cave.
The reason why he’s going bankrupt is he’s conning himself into making test chambers for other hims through other Apertures.
My guys really responded to a 6 year old comment
Yeap. Yeap we are.
GM3210 not ones that big though
@GM3210 And since Aperture does everything from scratch, they must have plenty of those!
Film companies when they run out of ideas 0:39
1:13 you can see the thief from the valentine's day episode spinning in his chair lovingly cradling his diamond here. Nice throwback! :)
and meet the pyro
Whats that dude diagonal right from him watching 🤨💀
@@glowjoe09 sus
“Why are they agreeing to do this?”
“They’re not, we’re tricking them.”
-Cave Johnson
Best. Line. Ever.
yeah so ye see i was using my new blueprint to build a level 4 sentreh but someone changed it and I accidentally built a giant room with white walls in the middle of the battlefield
@@engineergaming4453 did they have to use an uber to take down the test chamber, as well as blow you into pieces?
Trump trying to get mexico to pay for a wall 5 years ago
@@FlamingZelda3 p o l i t i c s
Perhaps they ripped off the Combine and that's why they invaded Earth
So you're telling me that the combine invaded earth because a shower curtain company went bankrupt?
Valve never change.
Ok now this is cannon for me
Leader of the Combine: "we are looking for the one you call .... C A V E - J O H N S O N"
@@azraelle6232 “Sorry, but you are a bit too late. Cave's been dead for years”
“oh... dammit”
holy shit, that actually makes sense
1:16 I see a turret working
There's also a guy that has a blurred out screen right next to the turret
yea in coop theres a turret working too lmao
Stage 3 in turret evolution
Become innocent and get a job
She's different.
Also of note: Guy spinning with a diamond in his lap, guy watching porn on his work computer, and whatever else you can spot
next to it someone in think is...ummm..... "having fun on the job" if you catch my meaning
I had so much fun with this software. Designing my own portal levels was somehow incredibly satisfying.
I remember when this came out and I was bored in class, I'd start sketching-up designs for when I got home.
@@Mega-Brick Sounds like back in the day when I'd sketch levels in class for possible Mario levels
Wow so I'm not the only one?
@@mrscruffles801 judging by the thousands of user generated levels available, I'd say no
@@craftboy338 I probably still have old map sketches from when I was in high school.
1:25 Am I the only one who noticed that test is an actual test in the Portal 2 campaign?
What about the others?
None of the others are.
Yeah cube momentum. One of my least faves lol
Isn't that the test from the first chapter that wasn't in the first game?
theres a couple of those but yes it wasnt in the first game
Truly, Cave Johnson was the greatest of men, a paragon unmatched by any other.
Except, you know, all the other Caves Johnsons across the multiverse.
0:35 MCU thinking of what to write for stories after endgame
All hail the sentient cloud.
69th like after 5 years,fck yea
@@aegeanharrier6648 lol 2 months late but im here
@@aegeanharrier6648 300th
This game’s humor is on a whole new level and that’s why I love it so much
Look at that sad little octopus. Heh heh.
The censored computer was portal 3
Or Half life 3
no,
it was porn ;)
Sadly the whole point of this video is that there is no portal 3.
Wow
@@bettercetacean At this point, Half-Life 3 is porn
1:12 a guy on the top was spinning in his chair with a diamond lol
he got that from the valentines training video
1:13 The dude on the top right is watching porn, lol
Lol
Or he is making an inappropriate level
@@dinkthegreatest i want to see some 2 turrets having some love lol
Or, it is Half Life 3. Censoring is generally used for hiding innapropiate things, not just... that...
@@Bananappleboy He was actually watching "Meet the Pyro" before the trailer was released, but it got censored.
Oh, my goodness. I only just noticed that the corner cutting machine cuts corners using diamonds, and it uses and discards a diamond for each corner it cuts. That's amazing.
plus the fact that it's not even necessary in the first place since the mold could be smaller.
0:49 "And more importantly, all PAYING for test chamber construction.
Why are they agreeing to do that? They're not, we're tricking them."
The REAL American business model. 😂
1:05 they even detailed the door
1:34
"TEST II"
...
Yes, Valve, we get it, we ARE Wheatleys.
1:22 I tried rapidly spamming CTRL hoping it would make a good test chamber.
Didn't work.
:c
Did it just tell you to turn on sticky keys instead?
1:16
Is he watching what i think hes watching?
Sir Meowmers Yes. You are seeing that correctly.
Sir Meowmers Yes, he is watching Meet the Pyro, which wasn't released at the time this was uploaded.
Nixel No, he was watching porn on the top corner
You can't know for sure on that one, the screen was blurred. I was talking about another employee's screen, which appears in the bottom right.
Meowmers _ mett the pyro
Marvel when they start running out of ideas: 0:35
I wonder if all those chambers were solvable
try to recreate them and play them lul
Side Winder I'm not that good at making chambers, I wish I was
A Few of them you can Find ... to a degree either in the Main Campain or Co-Op Campain. Sure they dont use the Perpetual Testing Initiative Test Chamber Desgin & Uploading Tool Platform but whatever Valve used, so they are bound to have a more ... charming complexity than the brutaly optimized Gridworks of the ... oh god ... Perpetual Testing Initiative Test Chamber Desgin & Uploading Tool Platform.
I think one of those Chambers where in the game
@@Techischannelsorry to necro "whatever valve used" but you mean hammer? The level editor standard with all games since like steam's release of HL2? Definitely since the PC's orange box. It is a PITA but is significantly more powerful than the in game editor.
*furious ctrl key mash*
i made a level!
1:12 Meet the Pyro trailer in bottom right
I know it’s been a decade, but god this animation is amazing.
Especially, that sad little octopus. He he...
Aperture, so cheap we opened the MULTIVERSE to outsource testing.
0:20 One of the turrets are facing backwards!
Oh no
I noticed that too
"I'm different..!"
*"Everytime I look like at our Test Chamber production line, I am reminded of my father. Now, he wasn't a scientist, just a simple farmer- A professor of farming at the local farm collage! Never farmed a day in his life, but his theories of farming are the backbone of this company."*
"Never cut corners"
*Shows corner cutting machine*
I still know what he really meant.
0:37 When video game and movie companies run out of ideas for a coherent and interesting plot
"And you are the bottleneck."
*Character at desk turns head toward the viewer waves*
"Yes, you. Now get back to work."
*Character turns head back and starts typing on keyboard. Then looks back again while still typing*
i wouldn't call mashing ctrl over and over, "typing"
@@aaaaaaabutyt in this universe it is
I’ve seen a guy looking at something on a blurred screen, I’ve seen a guy looking at one of the Meet The Team Fortress 2 characters, I’ve see a turret working on a computer, I’ve seen the diamond stealing guy, what else?
This was and still is the greatest late birthday gift. The idea of making custom test chambers was so thrilling, I legitimately made sketches of ideas for tests I could make before this came out.
0:01 This sound makes me happy.
“And we are almost bankrupt. Now let me introduce a cheaper approach: the multiverse”
that went from 0/100 real quick
This is easily the funniest extras in any game, ever made! The guy making the voice of Cave Johnson (J.K. Simmons) is totally one of my biggest idols! :D
Holy shit with the HL3 script this means the Perpetual Testing Initiative is canonical now
So GLaDOS is able to take control after they achieve infinite money and move back to the old way of doing things.
Chariots chariots
0:54 wait so only the aputuare sience in the "real world" is using multivereses to profet of other aputuare sience so our aputuare is more evil then the other's
Ah yes the puzzle maker, a place of utter garbage and insanely polished diamonds.
Now that's what I call in-house outsourcing.
Portal beat the MCU to the multiverse 8 years early
Funny! Cave Johnson is the best narrator in the world.
Its funny how this part (0:20) is absolutely pointless because the bullets penetrate the walls. What's even funnier is that the turrets fire the whole bullet, so even if they're weaker, the wall is still weak enough for a spring charged bullet and casing to go through.
0:45 An Earth inside an Earth?
Earthception?
Jennifer Anderson we
Cave Johnson: Into The Portal-Verse
Companies nowadays when they’re trying to write a “good” story 0:39
1:11
My boy on the bottom right watching meet the pyro while pretending to work. What a madlad
0:38 Movie companies when they run out of ideas:
Cave Johnson: “THE MULTIVERSE”
Cave in a different universe: “Gordon doesn’t need to hear all this he’s a highly trained professional!”
This is why I love portal, it just had so much character.
I hope they eventually make a portal 3 or maybe a vr game.
Either would make me very happy.
Valve can't make a game with "3" in the title, it would cause a world ending resonance cascade you see...
@@CM-hx5dp understandable
@@CM-hx5dp It's fine, they can still make Portal 2 Episode 1
Well well, I have good news for you
Good news, we have Portal Revolution now!
Just noticed this after watching this trailer for the ♾️time, look at the screen at the top right screen at 1:13. I think that guy's working on a whole different kind of test.
the PeTI really makes you FEEL like an underpaid aperture science employee
This is like the best expansion ever to a game... and it's free. GG VALVE!
1:12.
Pause here and look in the lower right corner...
Yes, Ik the video for it was already released.
THAT SPY IS A ROBLOXIAN!
MrZsc
.-.
Is it really that important?!
*shoots flamethrower
MrZsc
So, seriously, is it?
*shoots flamethrower more
0:36 studios running out of ideas
bro i want 2012 back
In at least one of those multiverses, theres a portal 3.
Just realized the things on the ground at 0:33 aren't balls of paper; they're coffe cups, because Aperture uses a new cup for every refill of coffee.
1:11 Meet the Pyro is in the bottom left computer screen.
Percentage of peanut dust in the atmosphere: 34%
Soylent Green on Earth-5912228342 made of: LOBSTER
Ultra underrated lines.
"Let me introduce: *THE MULTIVERSE!* infinite apertures-"
Like one where Mel is cannon?
Aperture uses new turrets for testing panels, then just destroy them. Aperture Corner Cutting Machine uses diamonds for cutting, and 1 diamond for one corner, and then it just throw diamonds. And Cave Johnson is complaining that they are almost bankrupt.👌
Good job Aperture! ))
I just realised since our Aperture might not be special, it's a multiverse of Apertures scamming each other, each thinking they are the smart ones.
I saw one that says "TEST" on it.
Wheatly would've done that, too.
A multiverse of infinite Apertures conning each other to pay for their stuff.
1:21 The Moment I saw this I was like. Wow 🤩 You can Create Your own Test Chambers!
That’s Amazing!
Interesting that JK Simmons is a VA for Cave Johnson, Omniman and JJJ, all of the 3 (portal, Invincible, Spiderman) has a multiverse.
Me: Wow, Dark Nights Metal looks like an interesting story to read.
When Reading the Comic: 0:39
1:11 meet the pyro in the bottom right
lol what is stanford yapping about
Videogame and movie companies when they realized how much they were paying their writers: 0:36
and thats how the combine took notice of earth
I swear valve has some of the best, funniest writers ever. These are gold
"Do not distribute to other Earths"
Oh Valve...
Wait so are we just in the universe where portal is fictional?