My Husband Throws Temper Tantrums
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ก.พ. 2025
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On today’s episode, we hear about:
• A wife unsure how to address her husband’s frequent temper tantrums
• A son wanting to encourage his homeless father to get help
• A woman wondering how to tell her friend about her pregnancy
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It’s mind blowing to me listening to people talk about how terrible their spouse is, and then Create more children with them……
????
“Well, I’m expecting our fourth….” She has to perpetuate the abuse cycle by teaching her children that it’s ok to be in a relationship with no power, where screaming, temper tantrums and and a constantly rocking boat are EVERYDAY of their lives.
@@carpediem6431 bars.
happens every bloody time. its like close your legs ....
@@carpediem6431 I would think it's because they love them and always have hope that things will get better. Marriage is suppose to last a life time.
I grew up with a dad who defined his role as a husband and father as bringing home a paycheck and that was it. He wasn't a hands-on dad who had important talks with me or spent time with me or went to recitals and ballgames. Now I'm an adult and my parents are divorced, and my dad and I barely have any relationship at all. That's because of him. He spent my entire life making it very clear that what he wanted most was to be left alone, and now he is.
My father is so similar. It's sad, older generations just had kids because that was what was expected, not because they actually wanted them. And we are the grown results of men who never really wanted kids. My father only paid for us kids because he was expected to, and because he had sexual access to my mother. I swear if they had divorced when I was young he wouldn't have had much of anything to do with his kids. My mom was the only reason he would pretend to be a father.
my husband would always tell the children to leave him alone, get out of here, etc. Now that they're grown, he is sad that the kids talk to me and not him. I told him that he created this situation,
It was what their role models did, too. They were taught that being a good father meant providing for family. Bringing home money.
@@ashleyc.6189 many of those out there
My mother behaves like that; always bailed on her 4 sons when a new guy was in the picture (which has been the norm for 28 years now). I'm now 40, with a wife and two young daughters, and I figured she'd come around and want to be involved with us, but that proved to be wishful thinking. Ironically, my grandfather did the same to her when we were kids (alcoholism) and it's so sad to see her treat her own sons and grandchildren in the same manner while being acutely aware of how my grandfather did it to her. Regardless, that cycle of dysfunction ends with her.
“My husband complains about and hates being with the family. Anyway we’re expecting our fourth…”
These people are unbelievable
😂
For real. Having four kids with a man who says there’s no point in having family fun because “they won’t remember” 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
Irks me to the core 😂 also, the guy just sounds like he doesn’t always want to be out and wants to be home relaxing or working for their family. I’m not sure why that’s a bad thing. Why can’t they do activities with the kids from the comfort of their home?
I don't think so. I think John nailed it, she and her husband don't understand the needs that are driving them to certain behaviors and are entering into conflict over the vehicles and the means of communications they use to meet those needs.
@@BestShootermanUbzYeah, but they can't do that every weekend since too much time at home is really bad for child development.
This is for Connor. I’ve not been compelled to comment on any of these calls, though I watch often. I hope you know that you are the best imaginable son. Your dad knows you love him. Feeling sorry for a parent is so hard. Please remember though that you are the child. It has never been your obligation to care for your dad. You are the one that was hurt. You can love someone from a far. Love your baby and family. Take peace that the good man you are is partly because of that compassion you’ve had for your dad. Your life is going to be full filled.
Agree with everything you said. What a GREAT MAN Connor is. Connor, you can always PRAY for your Dad; even if you are not a religious person, you can just pray for him.
I’m a dance teacher, and we dread grumpy dads like this on recital days. Miserable, negative, and just determined to hate the experience. Can’t even put themselves aside for two hours to be there for their kid. Cannot imagine being married to someone this selfish.
In all fairness, going to any arts event for most straight men is hell. It isn't fun at all. Sports events are way better and more interesting.
@@Chet_24 reiterating what the original comment said… you should be able to put yourself aside to be there for your child. Not everyone likes sports which is more than ok. As a parent you should support your child in their hobby even if you don’t love it yourself. There are tons of straight dads out there that love to support their children in things other than sports
It’s called being a covert narcissist. Emotionally stunted & very angry at the world. He will never change
Most men are like that sadly@@sds6303
@@Chet_24 In all fairness, it’s called being an adult and sucking it up for your kid for a few hours out of the entire year. The football field isn’t going anywhere, but your kids are only young once. Take a lesson from the daddies that show up year after year with a smile and never complain, not because it’s “fun” but because they love their little girl. My very straight father and grandfather never missed a chance to see me on stage. That’s what you call a real man. Not too many of those left.
My ex did this...he wanted nothing to do with the kids. I ended up taking them to movies, fun events, everything. He is an ex now because he didn't want a family. Hasn't seen his kids in years now. I feel bad for my adult children but its his loss now.
Damn they were his biological children? sorry to hear that
@@RecoveryAndLife Come on.... men abandon their own children ALL THE TIME. Be for real.
and you didnt know this at the time? Did he even ask to have kids? or oops babies. and how many children did it take before he realised being a father wasnt for him.
My mom in a nutshell. I guess not really even deserving of the title at this point.
@AdaLovelace-c8n yes...he wanted kids and I didn't care. I was happy after one but he wanted another...then when he realized you have to do things kids like to do forget it. He had many affairs...even missing his sons graduation and his daughters 13 bday. I threw him out and he made zero attempt to continue a relationship with his kids. They tried many years but he wasn't interested.
The worst period of my marriage was when my husband worked and i was at home. I would be at home all day everyday and he would be at work, working, having to socialize with others. Meanwhile I was home lonely and bored. So whenever he would get a day off i wantedhim to be with me doing stuff, going out, and he just wanted to rest and catch up on TV. It caused a lot of issues and it felt personal like he just couldn't be bothered to have the energy for me. One day we had a honest talk about it and I understood where he was coming from. I started going out and finding things to do while he was at work so i wouldnt be so bored and starving for his attention and he started taking less overtime. I got a job as soon as i could to get out of the house. We are much happier now.
This is maturity at its height. You should be proud 😊
This is how I felt when our kids were young, except I was working, too. We were both stressed out. It almost broke us, but we both grew up, too ❤.
I just had my 3rd after working for almost 2 years after our second. I felt like I had a life again. I’m thankful for my third but it feels like I’m at square one again and feeling cabin fever all over again. It was really stressful on me to work and have such little ones, one started kinder. I met another mom that wants to do things together with her other littles that are home full time, so hoping that will help. Need to get a good routine for home now.
3rd caller- don’t tell someone who just had a miscarriage that you’re pregnant with your third child in person. Text her privately and let her process it on her own. She will have to act in front of you and will break when you leave. Spare her having to fake it. She will come to be happy for you but she will be sad for herself and that’s okay.
Signed, a mom who has lost 5 babies in pregnancy
Yes! Came here to say this too. A private text message to allow her to process her feelings is best.
I have had 7 miscarriages and nobody wants to tell me they are pregnant. It hurts my feelings more than waiting to tell me. Everyone is different but I am excited for you to be pregnant! 🥰
You have a kind heart. Don't take the pregnant ladies personally, they are trying to guard your heart and don't know how. If you learn of a pregnancy just walk right up and tell the expectant mom how happy you are for her. ❤
This is for Conner. I too have an almost mirrored story with the exception that I am now 53 and it was my mother. My father was never in the picture. Your story touched home like no other story ever has on this show. Can we just say what a great show this is!
My mom finally had a successful overdose a little over 5 years ago. I did everything in my power I could for her. Bought so many cell
Phones that she lost, sold or traded for drugs that I had lost count. Paid $12,000 for re- hab and she ended up hating me after even thought she begged for it. There was only this one time she wanted to go to re-hab so I thought she must be serious. Everything you shared, I felt. Women deal with things differently than men usually. All I can tell you is I spent a lifetime of trying to help my mom and she continued to get worse. It still hurt when she died. It was still hard. I kept looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. Those good times that I could remember. You are a good man and are doing the right thing putting your family first and breaking that ugly cycle. Like Dr. Delony says there is no wrong answer here. It comes down to what you can live with peacefully at this point. Whatever you choose to do is the right answer. You have gone above and beyond and received nothing in return. Relationships are a two way street, give and take not take, take, take.
The third caller's story was mine over 40 years ago. I was the mom struggling to have a 2nd child but miscarrying after finally getting pregnant after 4 years of trying. A close friend had to tell me his wife was pregnant with their third while they waitied to save enough money for a vasectomy. I was so happy for them but it was hard when he was born.
Three months later I got pregnant and our boys are great friends and both gave us several wonderful grandchildren.
I'm a pretty stoic woman, but the story of the drug-addicted dad touched me deeply. He's young but so mature for his age. I wish him well.
As someone who has lost a child to stillbirth - the advice to go to this woman’s house to tell her about your pregnancy - I am begging, please, please, PLEASE don’t. This would have absolutely crushed me.
What would have been better for you? I personally think that maybe a text message or something privately but not in person might be better as the person can process it in their own way and privately without feeling the pressure to have to respond right there with the person in front of them.
Also, I have had 2 miscarriages but I don’t think this would affect me negatively, but I know that everyone processes differently.
@ I absolutely agree, a text message or a handwritten note would be so much better. Coming to my house and telling me in person would have made me ( inwardly) so angry, and hurt, but outwardly I would have performed and acted happy for her and like everything was ok. Losing my child left me so on the edge and most people were very indifferent, and had the attitude of,’ these things happen, get over it’ I had to constantly swallow the ache I felt in my heart and empty arms. a ‘friend’ coming to my home to tell me the news of her pregnancy would have devastated me.
Connor call was choking me up! God Bless him and his family.
I had a nursing 3 month old while in a weekend training session. MIL would bring him in to feed. Another woman had many lost pregnancies and recently had a late term loss.
I chose to nurse away from everyone for her sake. However she occasionally would wander into the room. I was young, had no idea how to address this, and simply did the best I could. We became friends. Eventually she had a baby. We celebrated.
And you’re telling a TH-cam comment section this because….?
@@Teenywing
😂 😂😂 I was wondering the point too, but didn’t want to say it!!
How does this tie in with this story on Dr. John?
I think you might be responding to the wrong show.
Caller 1 - He sounds just like my ex-husband. Run, girl, run! I only had one kid with him but stayed married to him way too long. I also got the where do you want to go eat and then having every idea I gave him shot down. I agree that she should know the details of their finances though.
Sister!! Im less than 5 minutes in and i need to scream RUN RUN RUN. I WAS THERE. PLEASE RUN.
We started using the picture approach and it’s SUPER helpful!
1st caller, i got the feeling she was shocked he didint immediately take her side but said they both needed specific communication.
Shocking how many of these callers are having trouble with their marriages and continue to pop out kids. That method doesn’t work…
"The 4th kid will get him to like me and our family"
@@YouMissedBro I think he was awake during conception.
Heya you'd think he'd get a vasectomy since he hates his kids so much
😂
I feel like I should be taking notes
Edit: I relate so heavy to the second one. My dad passed two days after I had my now two year old. I don't wanna type the details of what happened because I don't want to get my comment flagged. I got so mad when I was told what happened his last day alive. Sleep in peace daddy. I love you so much ❤
I hope you find peace within your healing. Grief is hard, but some grief is complicated and just unique and gut wrenching to process... just know you’re not alone and I’m so sorry for whatever happened 😢❤.
“My marriage is horrible, but I keep getting pregnant”
JOHN!!!! Please HELP!!
😂 Good sense of humor, hope it eases someone's pain. ❤ Life is so absurd sometimes. John's best advice: "Do the next right thing." Better yet; "Make sure your next move IS the right thing." ❤
Some people grow up fully believing that they are utterly unworthy of love and then they have a child and the child loves them with such purity because that is what kids do. They feel so unworthy of it and so ashamed, it just burns and they have to escape. It is certainly not the child's fault
But....they continue the cycle of abuse by doing this. Definition of stupidity.
It can feel like you’re tricking a poor, innocent child into loving you even though you are so unlovable, and checking out is like a way of sparing the child. Very sick and sad
@@christinacanto3740Children aren't "tricked" into loving their parents. That's an insane idea.
@ Of course it is insane. What is your point? Lots of people have really stupid ideas.
@ It may be stupid but, if you have that mind set, that is what you do. Maybe you leave to spare the child your presence. Maybe you stay and blame the child for your pain. It helps to maintain the f'ed up logic if you are high all the time.
Listening to this first call is stressing me out. “He needs to…” That’s the problem, he won’t & now wife is stuck. How do women of young children survive a disconnected husband, who doesn’t engage in a healing & meaningful way? Let’s get to that part of the call. What are her options?
Quit having kids with him, get a job, etc.
Literally every wife in America tunes in to see someone talk about her husband. 😂
Maybe😂😂
Exaggerating, much?
It’s so depressing I never want to marry or have kids at this point 😅
@kristamonae 🤣
@@lena-mariaglouis-charles7036 humor...
Cant wait to hear this one😊
I am so grateful to be single when I hear calls like this first one. Praise God.
Caller 3: please don’t meet your friend in person. I like John’s phrasing about honoring her by telling her ahead of your friend group, but that can be conveyed via text. No matter how well intentioned or sensitive you are, telling her in person puts her in an awkward position of trying to control a sudden wave of emotions. Please allow your friend to absorb and process this information in private - ultimately I’m sure she’ll be delighted for you.
I feel for the second caller. My husband and I are in the same place with my MIL. She has been an addict for my husband's entire life. About 6 years ago we told her that if she continued to do drugs, she wasn't welcome in our lives because we had to protect our kids. We managed to get her into court mandated rehab later that year and had a good 2 years with her before she relapsed. We haven't talked to her since, I'm not sure where she's living, we don't have a way to get in contact with her and I know it weighs heavily on my husband but it's what is best for us. I just hope that one day she'll accept help
I hate going out, I get socially anxious and it drains me. Add kids into the mix, who are loud and hyped up and being vigilant of every creep or possible threat… and it’s not fun. So I perhaps understand where the first callers husband is coming from.
But, in every situation there can be compromise … perhaps go out every second week. And stay at home together every alternate week. Have a low key BBQ, watch a movie, swim or play ball … you don’t need to go out every single weekend.
She sounds bored and loved socializing.
Caller # 1 - I will never understand why women who are in marriage where they are not happy with how things are alllow themselves to keep getting pregnant...
And based on this wife's complaint it's almost guaranteed she got nothing from the encounter that lead to the most recent pregnancy except another baby and more stress of an unfulfilled life.
He could also prevent her getting pregnant by having a vasectomy. Especially since he hates his kids so much
The guy might also benefit from being on something for anxiety. I know for myself, my background anxiety was just always so high as a new dad (in fairness, you have a lot of things to worry about!) that I only focused on the negative parts of raising young children. Once I started managing my anxiety with medication (could be therapy too), I found that I had much more capacity to handle normal parent stress and still be able to see the fun parts of it. Plus, no more guilt for knowing my anxiety was negatively affecting my wife and two daughters. Just my $0.02.
"they arent going to remember" i still remember my favorite Italian restaurant my oarents used to take me and my brother to. It's one place my family was at peace and everyone was happy. Your kids do remember stuff like that. I still go there to this day
He said not Ben Dover!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣
Why am i still laughing about this?? 😂❤
Eating out every weekend is an unnecessary expense.
You can still have a weekend activity, but it needs to be more cost-effective.
Working from home and then being dragged to a busy restaurant sounds awful, and to know you're paying for overpriced mediocre food?
I would be sore, too.
Picnics. Walk in the park. Some outdoor sports. Some nature-orientated activities like finding and identifying plants or some insects.
Anything that gets him out of the house, but with free entertainment for the children.
Amy sounds like she is dealing with an autistic husband. It took me 20 years of confusion in my marriage to discover hubby had autism and masked masterfully for years, except at home. At home he did a ton of separation between what was going on and his interactions. It was so hurtful and hard and I blamed myself for years. After, diagnosis I realized I wasn’t crazy although, as he gets older, his ability to cope with a neurotypical world becomes harder and harder. I now realize, how he maneuvered through most of his life like a blind man who pretended to see! He should get tested…at least to rule autism out. My prayers are with you that you can find a way to help him be present in your and the children’s lives without being overwhelmed and checking out.
Wow. Were you able to figure out a way to get him to interact more, or is it more your understanding of how he reacts to different situations (or both)?
@ He interacts in short spurts, then has to leave the room or go outside, to process. But mostly, it’s me who has to help him better communicate or understand the room. He is a genius in the technical world but, emotionally immature. It’s not really getting easier for me… but helps me understand him more.
@@MissM62 Well I'm glad that you at least understand that part of his behavior. I can only imagine how hard that must have been for those 20 years prior!
My aunt forced her abusive, alcoholic husband into treatment in the 70s. He came out even worse. Angrier. He didn't stop drinking. He was one of the meanest people I have ever met in my life, and I used to work with criminals.
Jeez. Sorry to hear that. Must have been _some_ rehab 😬
Rehab is for quitters
Why are they having a fourth child? I don't understand people.
😂😂😂 my first thought was he got hit with the “Ben Dover”
The last caller. Her situation had me almost asking my church friend had called in to ask about me. I lost my third child at 9 weeks. I also work inside a school and interact with her kids. This week, her oldest proudly told me about her becoming a big sister again. Math plays out to being not long after I lost mine. I know every person is different and I haven't listened to the whole call yet, but I feel like I can unfortunately give insight. No matter how she learns about your bundle of joy, she will have lots of mixed feelings. I can't tell you which one will be the strongest and how she will act towards you. But I personally felt joy, anger, sadness, lots of confusion, pain, wanting to hold her baby already, wishing she was standing there so I could hug her and cry, basically every single emotion you can think of. No matter how you approach it, it will still cause a flood of emotions. Tip towing about it would make me feel bad because it is a hard subject and I know they mean well, but makes me think more about why they couldn't just say it. But running in with all sorts of cheers makes me wonder if they even considered how much that would hurt. Basically, there is no good way forward that won't cause a flood of mixed emotions, but please don't avoid telling her if you would have otherwise. If you would have told her before her loss, tell her yourself at the same time in your pregnancy as you would have otherwise. At least then, you can sit in her grief or give her space as she needs
John missed the mark on the first call. The statement 'you're so concerned about money that you don't want to be around your family' is a false dichotomy. When I was a kid we didn't want for anything, but we didn't have a lot of money either. Going out was rare. We found plenty of fun, cheap stuff to do at home. Spending money should not be a condition of having family time. If that's the way his wife wants it, then she shouldn't wonder why he isn't enjoying it. There needs to be an honest conversation. It sounds like the husband is used to capitulating, and he's no longer able to hide his resentment.
Thank you team and J
Son needs AlAnon. Detach with love❤
What's tough about this is that you spend all week working, and then the weekend is still more go/go/go. So you're never getting solo time to fully relax.
I was living with a woman for over 4 years and putting in 70-80hrs per week Mon-Sat with physically active jobs. So all I wanted was Sun to recharge. But she waited all week to have Sun be our activity day, dinner with her family, etc.. I understood why, but it was also not hard to resent it.
I’m thankful my husband and I have similar thresholds of introversion/extroversion. It would be impossible if one of us always wanted to go out for activities when the other one wants to recharge.
I relate to the last call. I wish my husband would understand why I can't go to Christmas, why I cry when I'm at his family's house. My SIL had the same due dates and thus year is just difficult.
I divorced one of those .. shout out to the WASBAND!! 😂
He sounds frustrated in life. If he got some time away, personal time, relax time without responsibilities, and y'all had a tighter budget so he'd feel better about finances, I guarantee he'd calm down. Family time is great, but it gets overwhelming and may be expensive. Both people need a break in their own way and to compromise with eachother.
The comments about caller #1 are quite dramatic. It seems like the wife is just more extroverted than her husband, and he’s worried about finances with the 4th baby coming. They just need to communicate clearly with each other. This can totally be resolved and neither are bad people.
I ask my husband every day, “What’s your game plan for today” He just gives me vague answers..
when I try to nail him down for a lunch or dinner date.. I get blown off. I know he is stressed, but so am I. I am done trying to talk to him about it, I am forming a plan to leave.
Hopefully there are other problems in the relationship than just not going out to eat. My partner rarely plans for eating out but he does a lot of other good things. Perhaps that's not your husband's thing. I plan a lot of things and my partner has a great time. He's just not a planner.
@ There are.. Too many to list. I have tried to check in and be an attentive wife. It just does me no good because he has checked out. 20+ years together. The spark is gone, I guess
@@jomomma1512 So sorry it's never fun to get divorced. Hopefully you can carve a new life for yourself soon.
Just do impromptu dates. I never made lunch or dinner date plans.
The way she described the situations didn't sound like tantrums, just sounds like he is being grumpy and complaining. Not great either but very different. Its ok for someone to express that they are frustrated with a situation, it doesn't sound like he was yelling but who knows, she isn't making it very clear what's really going on
I bet his dad was exactly the same way..
also I bet her dad did what she is wanting..
Couples bring expectations and baggage from both sides and rarely communicate it and expect the others to just "understand "
Omg why have more kids with this guy who makes you and your existing children miserable.
Exactly
What makes you so sure the child is his?
That husband is out. He’s done. And if he’s confused, she knows.
this 1st caller is complaining about her husband the breadwinner, but she expects him to read her mind. He doesn't want to do these things he wants to work so he can support his wife and 4 kids. I think her use of "he has tantrums" is a bit dramatic on her end.
Yeah, I was gonna say this too!
When she said “tantrums” I was expecting him to say mean things or yell or something.
Instead it sounds like he’s clearly outlining a (completely valid) list of reasons he doesn’t think they should go out as much lol.
A tantrum is like, “I hate this I hate you,” not like, “We don’t have the budget for this, so I need to work more” lol
That’s just clearly outlining problems and needs.
@@midwestwinterjamesYep, and she has no idea what their financial picture looks like.
Yet the women in these comments are blasting the husband and complaining that "alot of husbands do this"
Is he wanting to take a second job on the weekends? She said he works fron home during the week. since he has already worked all week I guess she thought he would be available.
Being the breadwinner gives you no special privileges in a family. Everyone has to pitch in and communicate, which clearly they’re not doing. If it’s too much for him financially, why’d they have another kid?
Your husband doesn't want to parent the kids he has. He just wants to work. Why are you pregnant again?
Men cry and say they'll cheat on you if you don't have sex with them. Also, he can get a vasectomy as well.....
I actually think he's stressed about money. Maybe they should do things that are free.
I know the callers here are not everyone. There are many people having a great time in their marriage...BUT... ughhhhh These people make me feel THRILLED that I'm not married. Why are they always married for 100 years and the issue has been an issue for years and they've just put up with it? It's heartbreaking to listen to!
I'm 15 years into a life sentence and in my experience, once children enter the picture, it's awfully hard to find the time to work on lingering problems. Life's hard and people are complicated. I've found that patience and accepting my spouse for simply who she is (and her of me) is how you stay close. Obviously, things like infidelity, abuse, and addiction are not acceptable, but otherwise, most things can be worked on and worked out over the long term.
@@bjkarana Let me ask: You wish you'd paid attention before all of this OR do you feel she (realistically, honestly) changed the game?
@ Neither; with two young children and demanding jobs, it's not that either of us deliberately ignored our issues, it just happened because there are so many demands on our time and energy. It's not even that either of us changed, my wife still over-commits to social stuff, and I still work too many hours at times, but we both course correct much faster because we don't want to let tension build up like it did before.
Thankfully, my man is mature... and babies me ❤😊
Babies you?? Lol! It’s only a matter of time before he gets sick of that.
Kind of says a lot, when you think about it
@@Gotoworkkk Not if she's good at that one thing that most men really like.
@@bjkarana I know how to keep my bills paid 🤣
@ 😂 Spit out my coffee on that one!
very odd. I hate being stuck in the house all winter with the kids. I fantasize about taking them to the playground, arts festivals, camping, my god everything. I can't wait to just take them out and do fun stuff. Something else bothering this guy.
33:43 Going from 2 to 3 is hard. Going from man-to-man to zone.
Never heard you say that, but I have four and when our third got mobile that is literally how I described it to my friends. It was easy with 2, but that third took me from "I have a hand to scoop up each kid in a pinch" to "Oh. Oh no." But by the time I got to 4 it was pretty well figured out. You get that zone defense going lol.
He is just not that into you. He is not into his family. The writing is on the wall. He has his mind on other things or people.
Dude, for a man that works all week, maybe he just doesn’t want to spend his weekend, EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND, out with toddlers. When I had my toddler I didn’t like going out anywhere, it’s so difficult. it sounds like she’s pushing a lot on him and wondering why he doesn’t want it. sounds like the man needs a few days OFF, not just off work, OFF everything. A few days off from family is not so bad. Then he can turn around and give mom a break if she needs one. but because a man doesn’t enjoy going out to lunch with 3 little children every single week, not to mention spending the money he worked hard for on something he doesn’t enjoy, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love his wife. Yall women take everything so personally like it’s all about how much we care about you. It’s not always that.
@@RecoveryAndLifeI agree and can definitely see where you’re coming from. While it doesn’t sound like he’s handling the situation very maturely I don’t think it’s fair to say he doesn’t like his family. Dude sounds stressed
@@peytontheestallion this applies to men and women, going from the great relationship, two adults creating a life stage to exhausted, stressed, generally anxious tense household with 3 screaming children that do. Not. Stop. Ever. will mindf*** you if you’re not ready. This is why having kids destroys so many relationships. He definitely has some changes to make but I often see women, with good intentions, giving more more more, more time with them, more being around the kids, more outings, etc, when things get tough with their partner. sounds like what he needs is LESS. A break. Give him a little time to MISS you and the kids, not feel constantly overwhelmed. “Familiarity breeds contempt, absence makes the heart grow fonder”
The guy is just tiered. If she stopped bugging him to go out, he’d want to tag along more often, maybe not every weekend. She’s making having fun with the kids feel more like a chore. Nothing wrong with staying home sometimes.
@@demiami123 exactly
This is just another case of kids being in adult bodies who breed left and right for some reason. Let’s be real here.. a true mature adult would not put up with a supposed “adult” that acts childish; they would up and leave without a trace or hesitation. I feel bad for the children who have to put up with such BS when it comes to their idiotic parents and their poor choices in life.
We have brains for a reason.. we just gotta do better and use them.
I love how “tantrums” are really just mild complaints. Say you don’t respect your husband without saying you don’t respect your husband. Saying, “looks like everyone had the same idea.” or “we’re doing this for you and not the kids.” does not equate to a tantrum. 😊
Tantrum: Uncontrolled outburst of anger and frustration.
I’m sure she’s gaslighting him too!
I tuned in because my ex had "tantrums," and I wanted to hear what John said. This is not tantrums. My ex would scream, throw things, punch walls, and spend days dwelling on things. It was absolutely miserable. This is just a couple who isn't communicating, and she doesn't want to understand his side.
This!!!
You respect your husband when he is respectable. Not a whiney pusspuss. He sounds like a total party-plow.
@@mw6346 If you really do want to hear what John has to say he has taken calls where men are really throwing temper tantrums in the way of screaming, throwing things, smashing tv’s, etc. it’s by the title of “I kicked by husband out” or “husband throws temper tantrums”
Yes I get this, I actually after 15 years have learnt not to engage and give him attention for his drama. It's over any little thing and he becomes aggressive and if I talk back he stand over me. So I let him go ignore him amd when he calms down he feels like am idiot.
How do some people not recognize that having some many children can put a strain on finances and the marriage.A lot of these calls sound like burnout for the breadwinner
You can not help someone that won't help themselves!!!!!!
Why would you have a fourth child with this man? You both sound immature.
Because she's brainless and thinks kids will solve issues, that's why she's having 4.
U have to let him go u say dad I love you but I can’t live this way . I love yoy DaD.
You can't make people want to do things, only shame them into it. You married the wrong person thinking he'd change...dumb idea.
Those first two callers!
Poor guy works his ass off and can’t even spend some free time doing something he actually likes. She’s complain if he drug her butt to the race track or golf course
Unbelievable- why keep having kids with him.
Oh my goodness this manbaby doesn’t want to be married or be a father. That amount of negative energy would destroy my soul. And then what about the kids???? Tragic. These are the days memories are made of. 😞
First caller - So she's married to a big baby and they're having a fourth baby (or actually, a fifth baby)?
That first woman is lucky he hasnt walked out. That life sounds like my nightmare.
22:53 heartbreaking!!!
Really like your show. But recently you are asking less questions and just advising based on general assumptions. So the advise becomes less specific and very general. Hard to listen to these rants. Saying this with could intentions. You are great but you can do way better!
For the 1st call, they never discussed if the wife works. Is she sitting around all day waiting until the husband is off work until she decides she wants to go grocery shopping?
Is it all for show? Like she just wants to go for the sake of going and taking pictures for strangers on the internet?
Does she ever ask what the husband wants to do on the weekend?
Honestly, id rather have a 2nd job than do half the bs this callers wife wants to do on the weekend. Sounds like he's basically a taxi service. It would suck. Give the guy a day off to be left alone.
He's probably an introvert who doesn't love being out in crowds of people. They should compromise and stay in every other weekend.
4 kids sounds like torture to me! Goodness knows why he had 4 if he's not keen. But he did have a hand creating those 4 too so there's that.
@ChrisAndCats For sure. His choice yo have 4 kids, so obviously going to a lot of school events will be in his future. But going to restaurants with all those little kids on a regular basis sounds extra awful. I get that the wife likes it, but I dont blame him at all. (And I'm a woman)
I got the impression that he would enjoy a walk in the park followed by a picnic of homemade sandwiches a lot more than he's enjoying going out
Maybe she wants to go out because she doesn’t want to cook all the time. He should offer to cook or order in, or someone can babysit & they go out solo. I only have 1 child I can’t imagine what it’s like with 4!
@@ChrisAndCats men want to screw, but not deal with the consequences of sex AKA pregnancy/children. Maybe he should keep it in his pants.....
ok devil's advocate, he might be autistic if he's super overwhelmed with changed plans/lots of stimulation/unpredictability of kids/etc. If he's also introverted to the extreme it could be exasperating the issue. JUST SAYING (I'm an autistic woman so it just seems a little familiar) y'all can still figure out how to connect and be a family and a marriage
An adult male who throws tantrums probably has a diagnosable personality disorder or is bipolar, I dated someone with similar traits turns out he was bipolar and hiding it from me I dumped him, this is probably not a tantrum this sounds like bipolar disorder
He sounds so negative. I couldn't stand his company. He sounds unhappy.
He doesn’t like kids or want kids, so now she’s pregnant with a 4th child?! Make that make sense?!
She needs to stop having kids because she will be divorced soon enough and will be a SINGLE mom of FOUR kids!!
Lady sorry but why do you continue to have children when your husband clearly resists what this means
Just from the title, this is gonna be interesting and maybe funny
These issues always come down to two things. Too many children+ no actual discussions on what partners want in life. They just live life a trump npcs getting four children and then realizing they hate the responsibility and life associated with it.
It’s wild to me that you can have 4 kids but not be able to sit down and talk about the husband’s “temper tantrums”.
God, family, then everything else. Marry people that get this.
Did this guy actually want four kids?
If he didn't actually want four kids, that's okay for him to express.
Well they didn't appear on their own, did they? He did have a hand in creating them!
No one accidentally has four kids. He needs to grow up.
He may have wanted all these children, but doesn’t understand the challenges dealing with all the activity. Perhaps he has difficulty connecting with young children and their very limited attention spans. I’ve seen fathers absolutely blossom when they can communicate and fully share activities with school-age children. Perhaps it would be beneficial if he developed a Saturday morning routine of taking the eldest child to a coffee shop or cafe (NO FAST FOOD) for a one-on-one breakfast date - and no cell phone or iPad allowed during the meal. Then, the next Saturday, the second eldest child goes out with dad for breakfast. Don’t forget to tell him to help the children color the kid’s menu with crayons as they discuss silly things. There is not a child who won’t remember how special this time is with dad. Then, as the two youngest grow, they’ll also get their Saturday morning ‘dates’ with dad.
@@probablynot1368wonderful advice if they take it!
He didn't and that's why you can tell he hates his life lol.
If she doesnt have a supportive husband at all, and he complains about spending time with his own family, but they are having a fourth baby?
Are they serious?
I have one toddler and hate going out lol. I sympathize with the dude.
I want to have a chat with the sadist who put all the candy in the store checkout aisle for my toddler to fixate on when she's hungry and past her nap time.
You need to explain science to this awful man. Maybe children don’t remember the specifics of each time you go out with them, but you are imprinting on them a whole culture of love and fun family time. These feelings stay with them forever and set the foundation for their whole life. Absolutely WILD to say they won’t remember.
I don’t think he’s awful, but he’s not being clear and direct about his issue with going out. It could be related to so many things that can be fixed like low energy, financial stress, being an introvert, etc.
@ I suppose I agree. I think he needs to say hey I’m very stressed about money. Let’s pack a picnic and go to a park instead or whatever free/cheap thing instead. Not argue that they don’t remember anything so it’s useless
It sounds like she wants to do family things that cost a lot of money every weekend. Maybe they should find something low cost or free to do because going places with 4 kids every week will cost a lot. And depending on the age of the kids, they might not want to go places every weekend either. Mom sounds very social and dad isn't. They need to balance that out.
It does sorta sound like that. I live in Oregon and so I know that even breathing in Bend, Oregon is expensive. There are however countless outdoor activities that don’t cost more than the gas to get there and the food you bring from home.
Heard of birth control !?????
So tired of hearing women having children but cannot afford them and refuses to make changes.
Probably a redpill dude aswell
The behavior the first caller described doesn't even come close to being a "tantrum." What an infantile way to describe his minor complaints. He sounds like a homebody.
I knew exactly this
This woman sounds terrible. Name calling him like a 10-year-old? I’ll bet you anything she gaslights him and he doesn’t get a word in edgewise.
Grow up and be mature enough to actually talk to him, not down to him.
A tantrum is when your mans wanting your attention at the same time your child is wanting yours as they are saying mom mom and then you take care of your child and he gets pouty and runs away….instead of being mature of the situation………