Something that really cracks me up about being Mormon. Is whenever I was a kid in the Mormon church in the '90s, no tattoos at all, they would say things like your body is a temple you wouldn't graffiti the temple, so don't get any tattoos. Now so many Mormon influencers have so much plastic surgery, and my whole thought process is isn't this the same thing? Does God not care about breast implants, but he does care about a little bit of surface level ink. Just kind of a funny hypocrisy to me.
I know your niche is Mormonism as it is (was) a very big part of your life, however I just wanted to note that you have a very good ability (probably because of your teaching history) to engage people in many subjects. Just wanted to mention it as I can very much see you expanding your video subjects :) greetings from a never-mormon never-religious argentinian ❤
I was at a male strip club once and one of the dancers got off the stage and asked if I was Mormon ☠️ It’s been over ten years since I’ve left the church and I still look Mormon 😭
This is a phenomenon I didn’t understand until I lived in Utah - I could pick a Mormon out of a crowd after a few months. It wasn’t just their physical features - it was the way they dressed, the way they carried themselves… and to be honest, the fake-ness emanating from their supposedly nice behavior. There was always an undertone of trying to get us into the religion - and when we showed no interest, they would cool considerably. But the fake-ness was always there like a veneer.
@@OhK586 I disagree. I love visiting Salt Lake and seeing the Mormon choir perform in Music and the Spoken Word. There are so many good genuine Mormons, you shouldn't lump them all together as fake. It's certainly not fake, and very moving it is, when, after the live broadcast has concluded, the choir sings "God be with you till we meet again..." to the live audience. Not fake at all.
I am a genetic genealogist. The few mormon searches ive done there was a bottleneck, and endogamy . Many early mormon men married relatives (not to him but to each other). Generational breakdown happening before polygamy was banned. When one man has over 50 kids with 5 wives in a town of 400 people it floods the gene pool quickly.
Floods hella more than gene pool. Im in the heart of Zion here where polygamy is still practiced (in temple ceremonies & openly) This is a mormon population free fall where every couple is in a race to have their own armies of Helaman !
@@QuarioQuario54321 actually if you do your dna on ancestry yes, it can pick out if you descend from early mormons. But. it has more to do with comparing your DNA to others who have tested, and since ancestry is the lds many many have tested so they can there for discern that group easily.
Yeah, me too. I am quite happy that I was never called that by Mormons but maybe they were just uncomfortable telling me this to my face in Israel after spending hours learning about the holocaust and all the terrible crimes in detail. I was told though that I am from „a good family“ because multiple of my family members fought in the Wehrmacht. Just disgusting and luckily she apologised afterwards. Not the only weird comment but definitely the worst. I really have no idea what the hell is wrong with some people.
"Arian" is a 4th Century Christian heresy where you deny the Trinity, "Aryan" is the word for Iranian, Kurdish, Pashtun, etc people are, which Hitler tried to appropriate 😁
yea nearly a bottleneck for almost a hundred years, so that makes sense. Esp with polygamy at the early stages. I wonder if the fundamentalist mormon churches that practice polygamy have a much greater reduction in genetic diversity. It'd have to be so, I'd think
There is such a thing as outbreeding depression too. Studies on immunology show that adaptively there really is 'just the right amount of inbred' and mormons are closer to it than the rest of us.
This is so terrible. Residential schools should have never happened. From what I've learned, residential schools are tied to the Catholic Church (at least in Canada). How has the Mormon church been involved in residential schools?
@@Uncle_Smidge I’m so sorry our government did that to your family and countless others. I was just reading a book about this to my ten year old last week.
@@jonathanfarquhar The LDS church had the Indian Placement Program which was their version of the 60s scoop, but a little more organized and less chaotic. Indigenous children would live with a Mormon foster family for a year and go back to the reservation in the summer. So it sort of operated like the residential school system in that way as well.
My grandma's grandma was an Apache born in 1884-6, and was sent to the Carlisle School when she was an infant. My grandma was in her forties before she learned she was more than half Apache and at least an eighth Hopi. The school practically stole my ancestor's identity and made her act like an anglo-american. Thankfully she was adopted by a loving couple, but the school had already taken away her heritage
I work in cytogenetics, and people with ancestry from small and/or insular ethnic groups tend to have more regions of homozygosity (ie. identical copies of genes) than the general population. This is why certain recessive genetic disorders are much more common in certain ethnic groups. Due to the size and isolation of these ethnic groups, especially those that started off with just a few people (the founder effect you mentioned), there is bound to be a degree of distant shared ancestry, even if there's never any inbreeding. Generational Mormons are more closely related to other generational Mormons than they are to anyone else, even if their family trees never cross.
Holy cow... Do you have links that explain this phenomenon in more detail? I come from a very Eastern European ancestry, and yet I have the stereo typical Mormon looks. It's crazy. But, yeah, I'd like to learn more about this biological phenomenon. 7:44 Also, yes....
Thank you, yes, when Alyssa was like, “There wasn’t really inbreeding, it was just a founder effect!” I was like 🤦♀️ ”…Yes, but that can result in a lot of the same genetic problems anyway, over time.”
I'm descended from two ethno-religious minority groups and another minority religious group that, while not ethno-religious, still practiced encouragement of marrying within the church (and expulsion if you didn't). We definitely had inbreeding (I can trace it in my family tree - lots of cousin marriage, on several "branches") and the founder affect, with so many families tracing their families back to the same founding figures. If I meet someone from the same area as my family, I can usually suss out if we're related or share cousins pretty quickly. 😅
@THE_EDGEDAY_WATCHER I've been busy but once I have time I'll absolutely send some articles. Alyssa linked one specifically about Mormons in the description.
I can tell someone’s Mormon mainly by their voice actually. Usually they are like overly positive in way that reminds me of Judy from Ba Sing Se (for my Avatar the Last Airbender fans). Also they seem to speak slower and enunciate perfectly never using slang. They just overall have the vibes of “Normal Bob” in that one SpongeBob episode lol
To me, you in Mormonism just looked so worn and tired behind the eyes. You still look as gorgeous then as now, but you have a glow which is just feeling secure and validated. Please know how much we appreciate you doing these topics, it could really help someone
I find it interesting that the Mormons in your comments, instead of trying to refute your claims against them or espouse the virtues of their church, instead attack your looks. It really speaks to their shallow and sheltered view of the world.
I mean, the religion says light-skinned blonde people are holier than others, that probably played an effect on getting converts with those characteristics.
Light skin yes, though I don't think anything explicitly says blonde hair... though they do often depict the good, holy people in animations as being blonde. So it's a more unspoken, subtle thing
The word "vacant" is when everything clicked for me. Two of my friends in middle school were Mormon and they were cousins. One (whose dad's side went back to Mormon pioneer days) had the vacant, always happy look as did her brother and parents. Her cousin (on her mom's side) and her family were new converts and they didn't have the same "glaze". It's almost Invasion of the Body Snatchers-esque. I assumed it was just this one friend's family but you describing them word for word is making me think it was definitely Mormon Face striking again.
Oh, come on...quite capping on Mormons and her background as a Mormon....saying she looked dead inside is not a true statement. Generalization based on your perspectivie. We all go through changes in our attitude and looks; exacerbated by what we are going through in life...good time or bad times....all affect our lovely or not so lovely countenance.
❤ Vacant/dead eyes is what I notice sometimes in people and it makes me so sad. Then I will meet (on campus for example people who just got done singing worship music and their eyes are lit up like light bulbs and just full of love). I noticed that her face is beautiful and eyes are full of life now vs that blank thing like I often see. Like a hungry person vs a person that just ate a juicy steak.
I wouldn't say dead inside. I would say vacant, but the lights were left on. It's not just the LDS. I see this look on many people with cult like indoctrination. Smiles and not really thinking past what they've been taught the whole time.
@@timmellin2815 There are a lot of people that were supressed, depressed ir abused, having empty eyes. And when one is in a cult, one doesn't have a chance to be themselves, they get limited, gaslighted, abused, used, deprived of their freedom.
Honestly just another (somewhat related) side note. I feel Alyssa's aesthetic is ALWAYS a serve. She gives me like super chill surfer mom clothing but that light coloured eye makeup adds a little bit of fairy-like pizazz 💅❤
OMG I love that term "toxic positivity"! I've faced the same thing in pentacostal and charismatic churches, particularly the ones that are in the Word of Faith movement, but it's not limited to that.
So true! I grew up Pentecostal and after watching a few of Alyssa’s videos I can say there’s def some cultural crossover between Mormons and Pentecostals.
yep passive agressive, difference between saying someone looks pretty vs they look pretty better keep it that way , giving them stress to worry about vanity and losing thier family if the 'let them self go'.
It’s so accurate though. If we don’t accept and acknowledge our emotions it so toxic and damaging to our mental health. I really hate it when people pretend to be positive and happy all the time. It’s a lie and it’s soooo annoying.
I have an experience with this! There was a period of 6-12 months when I was seeing the dentist on a very regular basis (tons of fillings and a narrowly avoided root canal, always brush and floss, guys). My dentist would sing along with the radio as he worked on my teeth. He was blonde with blue eyes, nerdy wire framed glasses, shirt very neatly tucked, hair perfectly done. There was something about how he would sing along with every song like it was a hymnal. I live in a small town (less than 25,000 people), but we have a Mormon temple (a very uncommon thing for my state). It was bothering me so much over weeks. I haven't known very many Mormons in my life (maybe less than 5), but one day I couldn't hold it in. I had to ask him if he was Mormon, and I asked just like that. "Are you Mormon?". Yes, yes, he is. Haha I was really shocked that I could just know it, even though I had never known many Mormon people. Mormon vibes can be strong, guys!
@bellsyo72 ditto here in va. Small town sub 25k ppl and the dentist had 5 kids all girls. Mormon. Did a good job but did give me church pamphlets with my paperwork. We are Christians not cultist.
When you talk about how most the early converts were from the same few areas of Europe... I'm a former Utah Mormon, andI remember feeling very out of place being from a Mediterranean background. I had a slightly darker skin tone naturally which was exacerbated in the summer months, causing me to lather myself up with SPF 90 sunscreen all summer so I could try to look as white as possible. I have dark, thick curly hair that I used to try to bleach out and straighten. I've got the classic Roman nose that I really hated and dreamed of getting filed down. Honestly I tried so much to fit into the "look" that I ended up looking like a bit of a freak, and very unnatural looking, and it took a long time after leaving Mormonism to really start to feel like these aspects of myself that were different and I hated before are just as beautiful as everyone else. No one ever explicitly stated that you needed to be blonde haired or have blue eyes to be beautiful, but I felt some societal pressure to fit in, and there was always that conversation about who people said they thought was attractive, and never did they talk about people who had features like mine, which made me feel very unattractive at the time.
I grew up in southern Idaho around Mormons and experienced something similar. My mom's familiy are all Portuguese and she began developing disordered eating to attempt to not have hips....not great for me as an example. Glad I had Basque girls to hang with!
it’s funny because i think mediterraneans are some of the most beautiful ppl and the mormon look is very bland to me and unappealing (no offense 😅). even the overly dolled up ones with surgery do nothing for me. seeing someone with tan olive skin and an ethnic nose is like being blessed by the gods and goddesses lol
Lifelong member here recently left. You are absolutely correct! We were encouraged to “look the part“ our entire lives! We were told that if there’s anything different or special about us it was because we members of the church. Then we were to tell that person that was asking why are we different about the church!we are all messed up
Yup, we were taught the light of christ would pique peoples interest in us and bring people to the church, because who wouldn't want to glow like us, haha.
Never a mormon here. My mormon ex husband looks like Jon Heder from Napoleon Dynamite. Even his mom joked about it. I kept my mouth shut but kept thinking "maybe it has something to do with the fact that Heder is from the same town where my ex's great grandfather and his 2 wives are buried" Maybe, I don't know, how are babies made, lol.
My son looked just like Napoleon Dynamite too! He was even approached for his autograph back in the heyday of the movie's fame. My kid's Dad was half full-blooded Mormon, with his grandmother's early church pioneer "stock." And, they had settled in Idaho! I never thought of my children "looking Mormon," but now that you highlight the subject, they do! So with a bit of humor, we can conclude that Mormon girls look like Alyssa and Mormon boys look like Napoleon Dynamite. I can hear my son and his Dad laughing from heaven!
Just last night, my husband and I were watching a home video, and Jon Heder appeared in a trailer, his hair dyed dark, and I remarked to him, "See him? He was Napoleon Dynamite. Bet anything he's Mormon." My husband laughed and I said "No, seriously!" And now you tell me.
As a Swedish person I personally think a lot of mormon woman look Scandinavian. It would be fun if you had someone make a quiz for you where you guess if someone is Scandinavian or mormon.
Me and my husband are exmormons and have been for a while. I hate that I can "pass" as a Mormon but it is interesting to have people come up to me and say the most unhinged crap to me just because they think I'm part of their cult.
@danielabryner3791 once my husband and I went to Costa Vida for dinner, and the cook there said "welcome to the best place in town! Well, besides the temple!"
My grandmother was listening to one of your videos with me the other day. She told me about how her neighbours back in the day were Mormon. She said how nice they were, but that she was sad cause they never invited her for coffee. I couldn’t help but burst out laughing 😂
I didn’t think Irish people had a “look” until we were in the plane terminal on the way to Ireland. It was almost like having a bunch of Irish people in a place that wasn’t Ireland made us go “oh.”
Reminds me of that twitter drawing that has a stereotypical leprechaun vs an irish person according to the artist. It did look surprisingly like me (I’m only half Irish though so i cant say its perfect )
i had a similar experience. i'm from austria and my bf and i went to Hamburg earlier this year. when we were on the train to the airport for our flight home a small group of people got on the train a few stops after us and somehow i immediately clocked them as austrians. funnily enough we met them at the gate again and they told me they also clocked us lol
As someone who is of multiple ethnic groups I can’t relate and end up getting mistaken for being something that I’m not. I’m primarily mixed between Dutch and African American ancestry and the result is apparently looking like a Mexican or Puerto Rican.
My grandmother was born in England and her mother was Irish. My dad said Black Irish but my grandmother was fair and blonde. I can't find much solid info on what Black Irish is but my dad spoke of it as though it were a particular genetic group or something.
As an Ashkenazi Jew, whiteness has always been flexible and only applied when convenient. People have this idea that it's about the colour of your skin when it's always been more complex than that. Religion, ethnicity, birthplace, language, and class have always played roles in who is "white". And it's very time- and place-based. American concepts of White today are different than European concepts today and American concepts a few decades ago.
People from India are are considered more white than not. In the US, especially, they are Not considered "people of color", but if you go into places like Africa or South Africa, especially before the 60s, they were definitely black, based Solely on their skin color.
@@jenn2712 As a non Ashkenazi (Moroccan) Jewish person that has suffered lots of racism from Ashkenazi (white, from Europe) Jewish people, I really hope so. the fact that people can be xenophobic towards religions doesn't mean you're suddenly not a white person.
Seriously! I can't tell you how many times I've told people I'm Lebanese-American, and they were like, "Oh, I thought you were white!" Like, nothing changed about my appearance, my skin is just as fair and my eyes are just as green, but you're now seeing me as "brown" because of my ancestry? Very strange.
I have a similar feeling, I am Turkish with very fair skin but dark hair and eyes. My Greek friend has a darker skin tone, same hair color as me. Everyone always assumes we have the same ethnicity, I mean we are neighboring countries afterall. When she says she's Greek, they immediately think of her as a white person but as soon as I say I'm Turkish, all of a sudden I'm a person of color in their eyes (meanwhile I have lighter skin than the Greek and we both just look super Mediterranean😂). Race is a strange concept and definitely not real.@@williamjameslehy1341
“You seemed so much happier when you were a member.” Well maybe you just see an unhappy side of me because now that I’ve left the church all church members treat me like shit, so whenever I’m interacting with a church member I’m in a bad mood! 🤔
Honestly this is a lot of why a lot of Mormons are on antidepressants. They just don't have the ability or space to process a lot of their emotions I went through a LOT of that for years after leaving Mormonism, and a lot of that was just not knowing healthy ways to process things
That makes sense.. I have a similar explanation as to why when some people say ohh LGBT people have miserable lives. Well that's because the society around them hates them. Maybe their own families disown them and is causing them a lot of stress . Why would they be exuberantly happy?
Thank you for addressing the history of the church and colonization. I think it’s a subject that is skipped over a lot and many are in denial about what happened.
I sooooo can’t wait to hear your thoughts on the new sleeveless garments. Those garments are gonna end up panties and a bra. I remember grandma saying they were below the knee. To be all-knowing God sure does have to change things a lot.
there are SLEEVELESS garments now??? wtf this is crazzyyyy. not as mind boggling as allowing tatts and piercings to a degree but still. huh?? (exmo since early 2010s)
I was never LDS but I grew up around it in the Boy Scouts. As I got older and started helping on the adult side I learned more about how different LDS scout units were from traditional ones. The saddest statistic was that 70% of all preventable fatal accidents that happened every year at scouting events/outings occurred in LDS chartered units.
I've seen some idiotic behaviors camping with Mormon eagle scout types- such as banking a fire in the desert during summer. What kind of idiot does that? Perhaps the large families means that parents rely on older children to watch the younger children and they grow complacent. In a peer group, the kids will all be the same age, so the more risk- taking kids will feel more comfortable ignoring the warnings of the more cautious kids.
Growing up as a woman with a bigger body in Utah, in the church, can be so lonely! Especially as a young adult when you are supposed to be dating to marry. All of your church friends are dating and you are not because you don’t fit into those expectations. Loved the video!!
I moved to United States 10 years ago from Ukraine. I was raised in the christian family, pentecostal movement but more progressive and it’s called “charismatic”. And here in the USA I visited a lot of baptists and pentecostal churches with more conservative views. Every time I see a person in the store, mall or the lab that I work, I can tell if person is Ukrainian and if person is member of the church like right away. 😅 While you talked about mormon generation, it unlocked my memory of the Sherlock Holmes book, when there were a tragic love story of mormon girl and not mormon guy… it’s actually really interesting how mormon community were present in “A Study in Scarlet”.
Yes it was so interesting. I think it is so sad that they usually take out the mormon cult nonsense in modern retellings. I think it is cool Arthur Conan Doyle was obsessed with mormons and fairies. So many mormons think that they were "normal" in the victorian age, but nope it was so weird famous authors of the time wrote that it's weird.
I wish that evidence would sway them. I have a Mormon Martha that insists that Lydia from pride and prejudice was the only normal one and her sisters were all old maids despite the plot being very much aghast at Lydia's actions and behavior. There is no evidence or history or context that can change people's minds if they are willfully ignorant.
It's funny about the countenance thing and the light of Christ and people saying you lost it in your newer photos and whatever, but I think you look so much happier now. Brighter, too. I've had more people tell me I have a "brightness" or a "light" to me since I left than I did when I was in the church. I think it really all just depends on how you carry yourself. I've always been quick to help people and listen to their problems and be kind as its one of the core values I learned growing up from the church I actually think is a good thing and have carried over in my life. I try to always be kind to others as that is the golden rule, and it's an important one.
Guatemalan here. I live a few blocks from the oldest Mormon temple in the country, and lemme tell ya, there’s 100% an Utah Mormon look, but there’s also a Guatemalan Mormon look. Utah Mormons stand out for sure, you can see the blonde gringos walking around grocery stores, doctors’ offices, etc, and even without seeing their name tags, you can immediately tell. Guatemalan Mormons are a little trickier, because we all already tend to dress relatively modestly as a whole, but they tend to dress in more old fashioned styles (especially women, there’s lots of floral prints and lacy hems, and early 2000s layered tops), but also putting A LOT of effort into color matching their entire outfit. It’s almost Pinteresty-looking. There’s also just a weird toxic positivity that emanates off of everyone in waves. Forced smiles, and smiling in situations that wouldn’t really warrant that much of a sunny disposition. 🤷♀️🤷♀️
@@jaclynlevy5644 I’m half Guatemalan and half Mexican, so relatively brown. These countries are very colorist and view whiter skin as superior, so the internalized hatred helps with that. (in my experience, obvs.)
One thing that struck me when you discussed the "Mormon Wives" episode, was how Very Blonde most of these women were, save for one. Also, the darker haired ones were lighter than what I would consider a brunette. This doesn't seem accidental, from the outside...
Mormons isolated for a very long time after the pioneers. My wife got a dna test and it said "your ancestors likely traveled across america in the mormon migration". We're literally ethnically mormon.
Late 90’s, early 2000’s yes. I graduated high school in 1997 and I spent all my teen years, 20’s and most of my 30’s with an ED. I was obsessed with not eating and working out constantly. To the point that I lost hair, didn’t menstruate and had stress fractures in my shins that didn’t heal for over a decade😢 I thought Fiona Apple had the PERFECT body.
I feel as if I’m in recovery from being a former LDS as well as substance abuse. I’ve been peeling back layers and layers of trauma to the point of waking up in sweats, panic attacks which I haven’t had in over a decade, and stomach pains that are so extremely painful that I’ve passed out. I have no community. No one. My fiancé passed away last year. I’ve been mistreated by doctors and psychiatrists in the past. Almost all my savings is gone. I can’t believe I gave away 10% of my income, my time, and more to these people. I’m sorry, I just feel used and that the church made me to feel as if I’m permanently unsalvageable. Thank you for getting the word out about what a horrible organization the LDS is. I just needed to get this off my chest. I’m in genuine physical and mental pain they have no use for me. Especially as an “older” woman. I wish I never got involved with these people. Please keep telling your truth! ❤ 😞
Sounds like your head is in a bad spot. I am sorry for that. I'd like to say there is all kinds of help available for you, but w/ your savings almost gone, I don't know. I worked in public health for years and there are public pgms. for help; churches and aid groups too; but w/ your bad experience w/ those kind of things....I don't want to intrude. I hope you find the help & peace you are seeking. Not sure where to tell you to find it.
I can’t help much but I also deal with stomach issues. For my nausea I take over the counter Nauzene. Luke warm mint tea helps calm my hot stomach. I’ve tried lemon in my tea and sometimes it helps, sometimes the acid hurts. I wake up with shakes and I get so cold. I don’t want to say ✨Just breathe✨ because that’s not great advice but I’ve found that breathing techniques are one of the only ways I can get my nerves to calm down a little. There’s a TH-cam channel called The Honest Guys and their one video “The Porch” helps distract me from the constant thoughts going through my head. I’ve recently started journaling, just writing down whatever thoughts come into my head. It helps my anxiety because it’s almost like talking with someone. It gives me the ability to process my feelings because I’m writing them down and they aren’t swimming through my head over and over. I can’t exactly understand my thoughts when they’re in my head because they go so fast so it helps to write them down. I’m sorry your doctors aren’t helping. I’ve found that a lot of doctors say “no that won’t work” and don’t follow it up with something that would help. I have to almost interrogate them for things they think would help me. I’ve had to make appointments with every doctor available at the office I go to to find a doctor that understands me. I hope any of this advice helps and doesn’t come off weird 😅
My comments keep dying! There's very little understanding of spiritual/religious trauma in the medical and psych world. I have a CPTSD diagnosis and still haven't found a therapist with the specific tools. I find a lot of healing from Alyssa, Cults to Consciousness, and The Antibot, as well as humorous healing from Willie Muse. Mickey Atkins is good, too. It's better than nothing at all.
Hey love the content. Im from an old mormon family in Hawaii Im inactive mostly because i havent gone through the trouble of leaving yet. I definitely get a vibe from other mormons which sets my radar off. I have not thought about the positive attitude at all times indoctrination but that definitely rings true. Thanks for pointing that out.
If a Mormon missionary ever came to my door, I think I might ask if they wanted to use my phone to call their families. I just can’t imagine not being allowed to do that.
That has actually changed in 2019. Now they can text, call, and do video calls with their families every week . I was pissed off because I had to deal with only emails once a week and calling twice a year when I was in the mission. My mission president told us not to go over an hour and they doing so would be “disobedient”. Missionaries can now use social media as well. The church realized how damaging things were to missionaries mental health.
@@ericseamons9982 and even emails was a change, I was a missionary in 2001 and at that time we still were only allowed to write to our families once a week on Mondays, and calls were limited to two days a year for one hour.... though I don't know a single missionary in our mission who actually abided by that rule. Probably helps what I was stateside so it wasn't like our families were paying international calling costs (they also had to call us, we couldn't call them because God forbid that the church have to pay the long distance calling fee)
45:40 One of my favorite parts of your editing is that you don’t cut out moments like this. It seems that whoever edits them has the goal of keeping clips of you as long as possible, instead of cutting out every mistake and making it jumpy. This helps me focus, makes it feel like im having a conversation with someone irl, almost like a buffer moment for me to be more aware of what you are saying. You are a star!
Ooooooohhhh, that's why I was bullied in college and was constantly slandered as being gay, it was them coming into contact with Mormons for the first time. Damn, that explains it.
@@ethanstump Being gay isn't a slander anymore than being straight is. I am sorry that you were bullied, though. Bullying for anything is never appropriate.
Trust me I know, I'm much more confident in myself, but as a hybrid masc/fem guy who actually has a sunscreen regimen, I was a lot more insecure of myself at a younger age, plus was still coming out of my familys conservativism. So as I was actually trying to date and be appealing to women, being told that I wasn't was kind of a huge blow. Obviously someone who is homophobic is obviously not the person I would want to be with, but as I said, I was just figuring things out and was in a vulnerable moment, and rather than finding support, I was mocked for being "stylish".
Really one of the best sociological presentations concerning Mormonism I have ever seen. Alyssa covered the bases of Mormon culture, beliefs and heritage very well! Thank you.
Wow, this went way deeper than I expected and you handled the subject matter incredibly well. I super duper appreciate your conversation around the inherent racism involved (my jaw DROPPED when you shared how people have described your kids) and how it's our job to dismantle and destroy not the people, but these harmful ideas. Also how you showed the sexism at play and how this pursuit of perfection hurts real people. Excellent work. You left no crumbs.
The new, atheist version of her is a night and day improvement from the videos she has shared of her old self. So much clearer, more honest, intelligent, funny... So much more of a real, evolved, individual personality. "Lost the light of her countenance." Ugh. What obnoxious bologna.
This video made something from my childhood click in such a different way.. I HATED my very blonde hair as a child and often wanted to dye it, which resulted in everyone telling me "NO! People would kill for your hair color!" Now I'm 35 with a completely different view on what that REALLY meant. 🤯
as someone born with black hair that precedence has always disturbed me. the blonde girls were always told how lucky they were, beautiful, special, and like you said- that others would kill for their hair. girls with dark hair and eyes were pitied even if we we’re objectively stunning lol. never sat right with me. my mom is blonde and blue eyed and she favored my sibling because they were born with blonde hair (which ironically turned dark and curly like my dads so she’s SOL now 😂).
I've gotten that too, and I've also had people accuse me of being a fake blonde, lol. The irony is that I think dark hair is super pretty and idk if I could pull it off 😂 The main thing keeping me from dyeing my hair now is being lazy/cheap. I've seen my friends spend so much time and money on their hair, and they usually end up getting sick of it and going back to their natural color anyway.
@@lasantuzza777yeah, it's pretty disturbing. I'm sorry your mom was like that with you. Playing favorites is bad enough, but to do it over something like that is so strange.
7:04 Wow. Yes, very toxic positivity. While you were singing the song about turning a frown upside down, the song Turn It Off from The Book of Mormon: The Musical popped into my head.
I’m an ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses, but my dad’s family is ‘pioneer stock.’ I was born in Utah, and am living here again after 20 years out of state. My great grandparents converted, but my family was LDS until that time. My husband was doing our ancestry, and he was like, ‘Did you know you have direct lines to the pioneers that settled the Salt Lake valley?’ Yes, yes I do lol.
One of my favorite quotes from The Book of Mormon from my youth growing up, was the that addressing this about the Lamanites was that the Nephites were "light and delightsome". My Dad would inquire, when we talked about this, if that meant the other peoples were "dark and loathsome".
I was raised Mormon and as far back as I could remember being able to really take in what that implied, I remembered being disgusted by it, especially since I was raised by parents who were really part of that "color blind" post racial American thinking of everyone is equal, god loves all of us, etc etc So to see our official book saying god thought one group of people were bad and to make them look unappealing, he made their skin dark really didn't sit well with me
Thank you for your efforts. Joseph Smith's maternal great-great grandmother, Deborah Huntley, is (if I recall the exact number) my 6th great grandmother. Before the internet, my road-trippin' family drove from Pennsylvania to Salt Lake City where my father, an Episcopal priest, was welcomed warmly as he solved many puzzles and gaps in my mother's ancestral record. I majored in and maintain a great interest in sociology and anthropology, which is another reason why I look forward to seeing your Mormon face on the regular!
There's also the Mormon sound. I can usually tell if someone is Mormon by the second syllables of certain words. Usually ones that end in -tion. There's a way that it sounds like shun. There are more, but now that I'm on the spot, I can't think of them. But once you know the sound, it's easy to key in on.
It's called the "glottal stop". I was a non mormon raisin SLC and I still struggle with it. It's not just a mormon thing though. It's a Southern thing as well. Marjorie trailer green uses it a lot and that's part of what makes her sound so incredibly stupid. It just sounds so bad.
At this point I’m starting to believe there might be such a thing as ethnically Mormon, just like with Jewish peoples. I can imagine it must be very very difficult to leave such a high demand religion and still looking like you’re still part of it, just by your non-controllable features. Great video Alyssa, thank you! 🫶
Ex-mo with 5-6 generations of mormons on both sides here. But even with the "right" genes I've never looked "mormon enough." I'm heavy set with dark thick hair and I laugh and talk too loud. When I was active I knew I couldn't ever look like the "Molly Mormons" but i tried to at least sound and talk like them. I tried my hardest to have the countenance they would talk about, and i was told by many people that they wouldn't have guessed i was Mormon but when they found out they weren't surprised. That was about the best I could get. Recently I was talking with a friend and mentioned that i had been raised Mormon, and my friend looked absolutely gobsmacked at the revelation. They said they never in a million years would guess I had been Mormon. That's the best compliment I've had in a long time 😂
Spending two years (for men) knocking on doors selling a fundamentally unappealing product must induce a kind of blankly positive default face when people cuss you out that fits into your general visage and will likely rub off on one's children.
Growing up in Provo as a nevermo, when I went over to any my friends homes the mothers more often than not had no cheerful countenance. Instead they appeared tired, overworked, stressed, grumpy and sometimes angry with their children. It surprised me because my non Mormon mom was not like this at all but then she lead a happy and fulfilled life free from Mormon oppression. I am so thankful I never converted into this hurtful religion.
It was fascinating hearing how the nose ring was healing for you. My parents are pretty liberal and don’t mind most nose rings as long as it’s not a septum piercing which my mom thinks looks like cowbells. (I love Cynthia Erivo and Florence Pugh as actresses and wouldn’t want to cramp their personal styles.) But it’s fascinating hearing about how your piercing was to heal from religious trauma instead of just a simple style choice.
@@AlisonKenzoland My mom thinks my tattoos and piercings are cool, but every time I get acrylic nails she rolls her eyes and goes on and on about how ugly they are lmao
There's a phenomenon amongst a generation of youth to talk about "NPCs"; *That* describes the Mormon look most accurately for me. It almost tracks, too: Surrendering your (ironically god-given) autonomy to religious authority isn't so far detached from one's actions being controlled by a server daemon. I see the prevalence of northern european ancestry as simply coincidental.
I saw your quotes in the WSJ article about Utah Curls! Great Video as always and it’s great to see that your work is gaining traction off social media!
I am so happy that you talk about the founder effect in your video! I am an biologist researcher and I can tell you that people believe that everything is inbreed haha The founder effect is when an population that is big enough to have good biodiversity, but a gene is 'abnormally' present in that population, meaning the gene is over represented in that population compare to other population. To be inbreed you need to 'score high enough' on the coefficient of inbreeding.
I was at a scholastic convention in high school in Colorado and I spotted a fellow Mormon girl in the crowd of hundreds. We hugged and for years I used that story to fuel my testimony that we saw the Spirit in each other .
I felt like an outsider as a Mormon convert. Even though I live just outside of NYC. I've resisted the urge to clap after a musical number. I grew up in a black baptist church. I'm used to loud worship services. As a young convert (I was 21 when I was baptized), I had a hard time relating to Mormons around my age if they grew up in the church.
In europe the same thing was done to sami children, they were taken from their communities and examined to prove that they were less smart and that they needed to go to a different school from the non sami children to be taught to be "normal" people. 55:44
I commented the opposite & I will again, you have always been stunning & beautiful but I think you’re more so now since you left Mormonism! Your face glows more now bc you are happier & think for yourself & that is beautiful! ❤
5:54 in the RLDS we had "Happy Are the People, Whose God Is the Lord" and all the little ones would be at the front, with some poor 16 year old trying her best to keep them from either crying or running away back to mama.
i’ve been watching your youtube videos since you started making long form content and i have loved seeing you grow! this video was very well edited and had great graphics, thanks as always for making this needed content
It's CRAZY they have no position on plastic surgery when the reason they objected to tattooing and piercings was you were ruining god's perfect work and the temple that is your body. If me getting extra holes in my ears was "destroying my temple" then how much more so is getting my entire face redone to achieve some specific beauty standard? But then Mormons are nothing if not superficial when it comes to appearances, so I guess this shouldn't really surprise me...
If you would like to look even more different from the typical Mormon, I think you could rock a shorter haircut beautifully 😊 Love your videos and the way you talk and explain everything so in depth.
I will never forget the one time I think I scared some poor Mormon boys on a mission. They had come up to me while I was on my front porch ready next to my pride flag, in rainbow pants, reading ice planet barbarians. I was very polite to them and let them talk but the whole time one of these poor guys just kept panic looking at my pride flag and they stumble a lot of their words. They asked if they could bear witness to me and I let them do their thing and smiled the whole time and at the end told them I wasn't interested. I that I was a big ol queer and i didn't think that would jive with them. They walked away from my house so fast and I have never had a group come back.
I have quite a history of inbreeding in my family. We are coming from small Jewish shtetl in Belarus, so the choice of spouse was rather small. Almost everyone in generation of my parents and my generation have one of the types of diabetes and thyroid problems. And my husband’s family are Iranian Jews, and same thing happened. They have hemophilia in the generation of his parents. I’m so happy it ends on us, we have a familiar connection only seven-eight generations away. Yay to better genetic pool!
Im eastern Orthodox and my family were immigrants. At my orthodox church, we have such a diverse group of parishioners that we all come from diffferent backgrounds. Noone thinks twice about it. We also have coffee hour after liturgy. We dont know what Jesus looked like but he was likely to look middle eastern. Thats what some have said he may have looked like. What would the Mormon church say to that? What if he showed up looking different from the mormom look? This just baffles me with what the mormoms are out there believing and teaching
I’m not sure but Jesus is often depicted as a white guy. Plus in Mormonism, Jesus is considered an important prophet and one of many prophets, but he is not considered God himself.
@@heidiheidi0yeah, he’s depicted as a white guy by white people who used it to control. The Bible does not describe him as such. Jesus is also the son of God. Would he not look like his father? How old are you? You have to be young not to understand that.
Ahh Alyssa!!! 1. That thumbnail is so good! I can tell that took a while lol 2. I am soo excited for a new video especially since i have been wondering about the "Mormon Glow ™" 3. Girl you look awesome your hair is always so so bouncy ❤
I’m blonde, blueish eyes, don’t drink coffee or tea, don’t smoke, don’t do alcohol or substances, have had every ED across the board.. I wonder if people would pick me as a mormon 🤣
Because of a discussion on stream on Twitch, I went to Y-Tube to find out what the inside of a temple looked like. I sorta went down a rabbit hole. Not a bad one though--I found you. I grew up Southern Baptist, and I do believe we also have a "face". Baptists also want to be considered perfect, but we're also given that God doesn't want us to change how we are. So it's a dilemna when you're young and approaching puberty in the chuch. You weight too much, look too frumpy, but here you can't wear shorts and your skirt can only be a certain length no shorter and your other clothing should be modest as well. Why do these religions do this to their kids and families? Your comment about the verse to remember will be noted by me. I have been visited by missionaries several times when I was younger (28-32 mostly) and I got into trouble with the local temple/chapel because of the things I brought up with the missionaries. One even left the church after thinking about it. They refused to allow anymore missionaries to visit me. At that time I had a Book of Morman so I used it to emphasize points like the "female god" aspect. It's been twenty years so I can't recall many details now but I admit I found it funny (not-haha, but there was some of that too) that the men (it was always men) seem startled by what I was telling them as if it was a deep secret. Thank you for posting these. They are eye opening.
I’ve seen the glow, inner light of happiness shining from the eyes and relentless positivity also in friends who grew up in the World Wide Church of God and their families. A similar, but much smaller, insular Jesus cult.
I would LOVE to hear about the Mormon converts you've met in the past!! I'm very interested to know what draws someone to the LDS church over other sects of Christianity. Love your videos btw ❤
Most people get drawn into cults when they are vulnerable, lonely, and looking for “the answer”. They get false promises of having “the answer” if you just do as you’re told, and they get love-bombed at first. But it’s getting harder and harder for the cults to find suckers, because anyone with the internet and 2 brain cells can see what they’re up to.
that part about wanting an eating disorder is so real to me. i was never mormon but i have struggled with eating and body image and whenever i bring up the act that i used to want an eating disorder so bad everyone thought it wierd and insesitive. a year later i did end up developing an ed,, ive never seen anyone else talk about those specefic thoughts about wanting an ed, this made me feel seen, thank you
you're very scholarly! my spouse is good at picking out mormons. for him, it's not a particular physicality, but it's what you referred to: a certain kind of over-the-top bursting cheeriness and friendliness. which is not necessarily bad but just.... confusing. it's nice but it's..... startling. like I've been slapped in the face by a birthday cake. 😁also, shocked to find out Joseph Smith was a communist (give all you have and you'll get back according to your need) when Mormons seems to vote Republican. excellent video as usual! i so appreciate your thoroughness and care. (down with perfectionism!!!)
I am German and when I heard about the Aryan, my jaw dropped to the floor. It's so bad for me to hear that there are still people who believe this, especially because nobody was safe from it. My father had medium blond hair and that alone was enough to classify him as less valuable in Germany between 1936 and 1945. His older brother got married at 18 and his wife had to get an Aryan certificate in 1941 (a horrible identity card that confirmed that you were German enough) because there wasn't enough proof that she was German. in order to be allowed to get married, you had to prove that you were German up to the 5th generation. i despise anyone who thinks that's ok.
Something that really cracks me up about being Mormon. Is whenever I was a kid in the Mormon church in the '90s, no tattoos at all, they would say things like your body is a temple you wouldn't graffiti the temple, so don't get any tattoos.
Now so many Mormon influencers have so much plastic surgery, and my whole thought process is isn't this the same thing? Does God not care about breast implants, but he does care about a little bit of surface level ink. Just kind of a funny hypocrisy to me.
No because the women getting the boob implants are doing it for the pleasure of God to touch them in their sleep- some mormon pastor
I was wondering the same thing!!! It feels like cognitive dissonance.
I’ve also wondered this.
If I think of temples, I think of opulent decorated buildings with colourful windows.
@@sdonthefly but tattooed makeup is okay cuz it makes you pretty so the priesthood will like you.
I know your niche is Mormonism as it is (was) a very big part of your life, however I just wanted to note that you have a very good ability (probably because of your teaching history) to engage people in many subjects. Just wanted to mention it as I can very much see you expanding your video subjects :) greetings from a never-mormon never-religious argentinian ❤
Yes! You put the words I wanted to comment so eloquently!
Alyssa was an English teacher, so it makes sense. She’s a natural!
@@Hannah_Becton oh then yes it totally makes sense! Lol I am an Alyssa newbie. I would have loved to have her as a teacher
Nice try BISHOP
They say a good entertainer could read the phone book and still be fun to watch. Alyssa is on that list
I was at a male strip club once and one of the dancers got off the stage and asked if I was Mormon ☠️ It’s been over ten years since I’ve left the church and I still look Mormon 😭
Exmormon energy
😂😂😂
It’s genetic.
LOL, how did you react? That's awful and also hilarious.
Good sir, is that the temple in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
This is a phenomenon I didn’t understand until I lived in Utah - I could pick a Mormon out of a crowd after a few months. It wasn’t just their physical features - it was the way they dressed, the way they carried themselves… and to be honest, the fake-ness emanating from their supposedly nice behavior. There was always an undertone of trying to get us into the religion - and when we showed no interest, they would cool considerably. But the fake-ness was always there like a veneer.
The mouth slightly open, stare-through, tonsil stone-smelling, drone look
Truth. I had the same experience. And bedazzled ass jeans going for a date night at City Crick mall.
In the same way I can pick people associated with corporate America's subterranean world. Salt lake city above, salt town below
@@OhK586 I disagree. I love visiting Salt Lake and seeing the Mormon choir perform in Music and the Spoken Word. There are so many good genuine Mormons, you shouldn't lump them all together as fake. It's certainly not fake, and very moving it is, when, after the live broadcast has concluded, the choir sings "God be with you till we meet again..." to the live audience. Not fake at all.
i grew up in Italy and my priest (catholic obv lol) once quietly told me that the “nice old church ladies are the worst” lol couldn’t agree more
I am a genetic genealogist. The few mormon searches ive done there was a bottleneck, and endogamy . Many early mormon men married relatives (not to him but to each other). Generational breakdown happening before polygamy was banned. When one man has over 50 kids with 5 wives in a town of 400 people it floods the gene pool quickly.
Sadly I think this may be part of my family history😂 pioneer stock on both sides.
This is so true. This is another reason for so many having the same last names & all looking the same.
And so there's a Mormon ethnicity?
Floods hella more than gene pool. Im in the heart of Zion here where polygamy is still practiced (in temple ceremonies & openly) This is a mormon population free fall where every couple is in a race to have their own armies of Helaman !
@@QuarioQuario54321 actually if you do your dna on ancestry yes, it can pick out if you descend from early mormons. But. it has more to do with comparing your DNA to others who have tested, and since ancestry is the lds many many have tested so they can there for discern that group easily.
48:23 as a German calling random children "aryan" and using that as a compliment rings sooo many alarm bells
Yeah, me too. I am quite happy that I was never called that by Mormons but maybe they were just uncomfortable telling me this to my face in Israel after spending hours learning about the holocaust and all the terrible crimes in detail. I was told though that I am from „a good family“ because multiple of my family members fought in the Wehrmacht. Just disgusting and luckily she apologised afterwards. Not the only weird comment but definitely the worst. I really have no idea what the hell is wrong with some people.
"Arian" is a 4th Century Christian heresy where you deny the Trinity, "Aryan" is the word for Iranian, Kurdish, Pashtun, etc people are, which Hitler tried to appropriate 😁
@@williamjameslehy1341oh thanks I didn't know that, in German it's just "arisch" so i spelt it how i thought it was right
@@karuti11Arish auf Deutsch ist Aryan auf English.
@@monyetgoblog7038Hab ich doch gesagt, jetzt weiß ich das auch
I just want to add- founder effect, while not necessarily inbreeding, is still a dramatic reduction in genetic diversity.
Absolutely!
It's a selection bias fwiw
yea nearly a bottleneck for almost a hundred years, so that makes sense. Esp with polygamy at the early stages. I wonder if the fundamentalist mormon churches that practice polygamy have a much greater reduction in genetic diversity. It'd have to be so, I'd think
@@keegster7167 she talks about that. :)
There is such a thing as outbreeding depression too. Studies on immunology show that adaptively there really is 'just the right amount of inbred' and mormons are closer to it than the rest of us.
My maternal family is Indigenous and I come from Residential School survivors. The history of the Church interacting with us makes my skin CRAWL.
This is so terrible. Residential schools should have never happened. From what I've learned, residential schools are tied to the Catholic Church (at least in Canada). How has the Mormon church been involved in residential schools?
@@Uncle_Smidge I’m so sorry our government did that to your family and countless others. I was just reading a book about this to my ten year old last week.
@@jonathanfarquhar The LDS church had the Indian Placement Program which was their version of the 60s scoop, but a little more organized and less chaotic. Indigenous children would live with a Mormon foster family for a year and go back to the reservation in the summer. So it sort of operated like the residential school system in that way as well.
My grandma's grandma was an Apache born in 1884-6, and was sent to the Carlisle School when she was an infant. My grandma was in her forties before she learned she was more than half Apache and at least an eighth Hopi. The school practically stole my ancestor's identity and made her act like an anglo-american. Thankfully she was adopted by a loving couple, but the school had already taken away her heritage
@@Wi-Fi-El That really sucks. It's not just physical and mental abuse but cultural destruction of traditional beliefs, language, and rituals.
I work in cytogenetics, and people with ancestry from small and/or insular ethnic groups tend to have more regions of homozygosity (ie. identical copies of genes) than the general population. This is why certain recessive genetic disorders are much more common in certain ethnic groups. Due to the size and isolation of these ethnic groups, especially those that started off with just a few people (the founder effect you mentioned), there is bound to be a degree of distant shared ancestry, even if there's never any inbreeding. Generational Mormons are more closely related to other generational Mormons than they are to anyone else, even if their family trees never cross.
Holy cow... Do you have links that explain this phenomenon in more detail?
I come from a very Eastern European ancestry, and yet I have the stereo typical Mormon looks. It's crazy.
But, yeah, I'd like to learn more about this biological phenomenon.
7:44 Also, yes....
Thank you, yes, when Alyssa was like, “There wasn’t really inbreeding, it was just a founder effect!” I was like 🤦♀️ ”…Yes, but that can result in a lot of the same genetic problems anyway, over time.”
Genetic diversity is important for health. Zoroastrians and Jews have had genetic issues due to too much inbreeding.
I'm descended from two ethno-religious minority groups and another minority religious group that, while not ethno-religious, still practiced encouragement of marrying within the church (and expulsion if you didn't). We definitely had inbreeding (I can trace it in my family tree - lots of cousin marriage, on several "branches") and the founder affect, with so many families tracing their families back to the same founding figures. If I meet someone from the same area as my family, I can usually suss out if we're related or share cousins pretty quickly. 😅
@THE_EDGEDAY_WATCHER I've been busy but once I have time I'll absolutely send some articles. Alyssa linked one specifically about Mormons in the description.
I can tell someone’s Mormon mainly by their voice actually. Usually they are like overly positive in way that reminds me of Judy from Ba Sing Se (for my Avatar the Last Airbender fans). Also they seem to speak slower and enunciate perfectly never using slang. They just overall have the vibes of “Normal Bob” in that one SpongeBob episode lol
There are no problems in Salt Lake City 😁
Yes! The Joo Dee comparison is spot on! There is no war in Ba Sing Se. 😃 🥴
she made a video about mormon baby voice too
OMG FACTS!!!
@@Iamthatis137I’m glad for you & your family; but look up the suicide rates.. quite sad.
To me, you in Mormonism just looked so worn and tired behind the eyes. You still look as gorgeous then as now, but you have a glow which is just feeling secure and validated. Please know how much we appreciate you doing these topics, it could really help someone
It Does!!
I find it interesting that the Mormons in your comments, instead of trying to refute your claims against them or espouse the virtues of their church, instead attack your looks. It really speaks to their shallow and sheltered view of the world.
I mean, the religion says light-skinned blonde people are holier than others, that probably played an effect on getting converts with those characteristics.
Light skin yes, though I don't think anything explicitly says blonde hair... though they do often depict the good, holy people in animations as being blonde. So it's a more unspoken, subtle thing
Probably true.
@@garlandstrifewomp womp hitler bitched out
I'm a blonde of Scandinavian but no Mormon ancestry, I wonder if I look Mormon. I've been told I look like Uma Thurman.
Then, yes lol @@nuclearcatbaby1131
The word "vacant" is when everything clicked for me. Two of my friends in middle school were Mormon and they were cousins. One (whose dad's side went back to Mormon pioneer days) had the vacant, always happy look as did her brother and parents. Her cousin (on her mom's side) and her family were new converts and they didn't have the same "glaze". It's almost Invasion of the Body Snatchers-esque. I assumed it was just this one friend's family but you describing them word for word is making me think it was definitely Mormon Face striking again.
Vacant is the right word. Even if you look cheery and bright you looked dead inside the the past clips you’ve showed us Alyssa
Oh, come on...quite capping on Mormons and her background as a Mormon....saying she looked dead inside is not a true statement. Generalization based on your perspectivie. We all go through changes in our attitude and looks; exacerbated by what we are going through in life...good time or bad times....all affect our lovely or not so lovely countenance.
❤ Vacant/dead eyes is what I notice sometimes in people and it makes me so sad. Then I will meet (on campus for example people who just got done singing worship music and their eyes are lit up like light bulbs and just full of love). I noticed that her face is beautiful and eyes are full of life now vs that blank thing like I often see. Like a hungry person vs a person that just ate a juicy steak.
It's very rude to say that somebody looked/looks dead inside.
I wouldn't say dead inside. I would say vacant, but the lights were left on. It's not just the LDS. I see this look on many people with cult like indoctrination. Smiles and not really thinking past what they've been taught the whole time.
@@timmellin2815 There are a lot of people that were supressed, depressed ir abused, having empty eyes. And when one is in a cult, one doesn't have a chance to be themselves, they get limited, gaslighted, abused, used, deprived of their freedom.
Just gotta say this thumbnail is a serve. You got my attention immediately! So excited for another Alyssa video!
Yay! It took me a while to make so thank you for this compliment :D
@@alyssadgrenfellHi I love your channel it has really helped me understand what Mormonism is
Honestly just another (somewhat related) side note. I feel Alyssa's aesthetic is ALWAYS a serve. She gives me like super chill surfer mom clothing but that light coloured eye makeup adds a little bit of fairy-like pizazz 💅❤
When my hair was blonde someone at work, older white lady, said you look aryan. I immediately dyed my hair pink.
Not Aryan 😂
@QaringRandomWeirdo yeah I'm not allied with that political party.
I remember my then kindergarten age daughter telling me about the class bully and how she couldn't stand him. His name? Aryan. OF COURSE.
OMG I love that term "toxic positivity"! I've faced the same thing in pentacostal and charismatic churches, particularly the ones that are in the Word of Faith movement, but it's not limited to that.
It makes me think of ads of products selling the joy the product could bring you instead of the product itself
@@Chameleon_Cat Yep!
So true! I grew up Pentecostal and after watching a few of Alyssa’s videos I can say there’s def some cultural crossover between Mormons and Pentecostals.
yep passive agressive, difference between saying someone looks pretty vs they look pretty better keep it that way , giving them stress to worry about vanity and losing thier family if the 'let them self go'.
It’s so accurate though. If we don’t accept and acknowledge our emotions it so toxic and damaging to our mental health. I really hate it when people pretend to be positive and happy all the time. It’s a lie and it’s soooo annoying.
I have an experience with this! There was a period of 6-12 months when I was seeing the dentist on a very regular basis (tons of fillings and a narrowly avoided root canal, always brush and floss, guys). My dentist would sing along with the radio as he worked on my teeth. He was blonde with blue eyes, nerdy wire framed glasses, shirt very neatly tucked, hair perfectly done. There was something about how he would sing along with every song like it was a hymnal. I live in a small town (less than 25,000 people), but we have a Mormon temple (a very uncommon thing for my state). It was bothering me so much over weeks. I haven't known very many Mormons in my life (maybe less than 5), but one day I couldn't hold it in. I had to ask him if he was Mormon, and I asked just like that. "Are you Mormon?". Yes, yes, he is. Haha I was really shocked that I could just know it, even though I had never known many Mormon people. Mormon vibes can be strong, guys!
Imagine trying to talk to a doctor or therapist in Davis County UTAH !! That gaze !!
Virginia?
@@blake3615 weirdly, oregon lol
@bellsyo72 ditto here in va. Small town sub 25k ppl and the dentist had 5 kids all girls. Mormon. Did a good job but did give me church pamphlets with my paperwork. We are Christians not cultist.
When you talk about how most the early converts were from the same few areas of Europe...
I'm a former Utah Mormon, andI remember feeling very out of place being from a Mediterranean background. I had a slightly darker skin tone naturally which was exacerbated in the summer months, causing me to lather myself up with SPF 90 sunscreen all summer so I could try to look as white as possible. I have dark, thick curly hair that I used to try to bleach out and straighten. I've got the classic Roman nose that I really hated and dreamed of getting filed down. Honestly I tried so much to fit into the "look" that I ended up looking like a bit of a freak, and very unnatural looking, and it took a long time after leaving Mormonism to really start to feel like these aspects of myself that were different and I hated before are just as beautiful as everyone else.
No one ever explicitly stated that you needed to be blonde haired or have blue eyes to be beautiful, but I felt some societal pressure to fit in, and there was always that conversation about who people said they thought was attractive, and never did they talk about people who had features like mine, which made me feel very unattractive at the time.
I grew up in southern Idaho around Mormons and experienced something similar. My mom's familiy are all Portuguese and she began developing disordered eating to attempt to not have hips....not great for me as an example. Glad I had Basque girls to hang with!
it’s funny because i think mediterraneans are some of the most beautiful ppl and the mormon look is very bland to me and unappealing (no offense 😅). even the overly dolled up ones with surgery do nothing for me. seeing someone with tan olive skin and an ethnic nose is like being blessed by the gods and goddesses lol
@@lasantuzza777 thank you :)
I'm happy now about how I look (moving out of Utah helps) but it was definitely an issue for me as a teenager
Lifelong member here recently left. You are absolutely correct! We were encouraged to “look the part“ our entire lives! We were told that if there’s anything different or special about us it was because we members of the church. Then we were to tell that person that was asking why are we different about the church!we are all messed up
Yup, we were taught the light of christ would pique peoples interest in us and bring people to the church, because who wouldn't want to glow like us, haha.
Never a mormon here. My mormon ex husband looks like Jon Heder from Napoleon Dynamite. Even his mom joked about it. I kept my mouth shut but kept thinking "maybe it has something to do with the fact that Heder is from the same town where my ex's great grandfather and his 2 wives are buried" Maybe, I don't know, how are babies made, lol.
My son looked just like Napoleon Dynamite too! He was even approached for his autograph back in the heyday of the movie's fame. My kid's Dad was half full-blooded Mormon, with his grandmother's early church pioneer "stock." And, they had settled in Idaho! I never thought of my children "looking Mormon," but now that you highlight the subject, they do! So with a bit of humor, we can conclude that Mormon girls look like Alyssa and Mormon boys look like Napoleon Dynamite. I can hear my son and his Dad laughing from heaven!
Idaho does have a large Mormon population
@@Cklasvegasso unfair for the Mormon women! 😅
Just last night, my husband and I were watching a home video, and Jon Heder appeared in a trailer, his hair dyed dark, and I remarked to him, "See him? He was Napoleon Dynamite. Bet anything he's Mormon." My husband laughed and I said "No, seriously!" And now you tell me.
Fort Collins CO, right?
As a Swedish person I personally think a lot of mormon woman look Scandinavian. It would be fun if you had someone make a quiz for you where you guess if someone is Scandinavian or mormon.
Me and my husband are exmormons and have been for a while. I hate that I can "pass" as a Mormon but it is interesting to have people come up to me and say the most unhinged crap to me just because they think I'm part of their cult.
Haha, can you share what they said?
@danielabryner3791 once my husband and I went to Costa Vida for dinner, and the cook there said "welcome to the best place in town! Well, besides the temple!"
My grandmother was listening to one of your videos with me the other day. She told me about how her neighbours back in the day were Mormon. She said how nice they were, but that she was sad cause they never invited her for coffee. I couldn’t help but burst out laughing 😂
I didn’t think Irish people had a “look” until we were in the plane terminal on the way to Ireland.
It was almost like having a bunch of Irish people in a place that wasn’t Ireland made us go “oh.”
Reminds me of that twitter drawing that has a stereotypical leprechaun vs an irish person according to the artist. It did look surprisingly like me (I’m only half Irish though so i cant say its perfect )
i had a similar experience. i'm from austria and my bf and i went to Hamburg earlier this year. when we were on the train to the airport for our flight home a small group of people got on the train a few stops after us and somehow i immediately clocked them as austrians. funnily enough we met them at the gate again and they told me they also clocked us lol
As someone who is of multiple ethnic groups I can’t relate and end up getting mistaken for being something that I’m not. I’m primarily mixed between Dutch and African American ancestry and the result is apparently looking like a Mexican or Puerto Rican.
My grandmother was born in England and her mother was Irish. My dad said Black Irish but my grandmother was fair and blonde. I can't find much solid info on what Black Irish is but my dad spoke of it as though it were a particular genetic group or something.
I’m mostly Irish ancestry and going to visit for the first time next year. I honestly can’t wait to experience this. I kind of did in Iceland.
As an Ashkenazi Jew, whiteness has always been flexible and only applied when convenient. People have this idea that it's about the colour of your skin when it's always been more complex than that. Religion, ethnicity, birthplace, language, and class have always played roles in who is "white". And it's very time- and place-based. American concepts of White today are different than European concepts today and American concepts a few decades ago.
Just curious, do you consider yourself white?
People from India are are considered more white than not. In the US, especially, they are Not considered "people of color", but if you go into places like Africa or South Africa, especially before the 60s, they were definitely black, based Solely on their skin color.
@@jenn2712 As a non Ashkenazi (Moroccan) Jewish person that has suffered lots of racism from Ashkenazi (white, from Europe) Jewish people, I really hope so. the fact that people can be xenophobic towards religions doesn't mean you're suddenly not a white person.
Seriously! I can't tell you how many times I've told people I'm Lebanese-American, and they were like, "Oh, I thought you were white!" Like, nothing changed about my appearance, my skin is just as fair and my eyes are just as green, but you're now seeing me as "brown" because of my ancestry? Very strange.
I have a similar feeling, I am Turkish with very fair skin but dark hair and eyes. My Greek friend has a darker skin tone, same hair color as me. Everyone always assumes we have the same ethnicity, I mean we are neighboring countries afterall.
When she says she's Greek, they immediately think of her as a white person but as soon as I say I'm Turkish, all of a sudden I'm a person of color in their eyes (meanwhile I have lighter skin than the Greek and we both just look super Mediterranean😂). Race is a strange concept and definitely not real.@@williamjameslehy1341
I googled “mormon face” just now - third spike in google trends incoming.
It’s quite the flex to show how you are driving google trends!
And now we know of a Mormon ethnicity I guess
“You seemed so much happier when you were a member.”
Well maybe you just see an unhappy side of me because now that I’ve left the church all church members treat me like shit, so whenever I’m interacting with a church member I’m in a bad mood! 🤔
Honestly this is a lot of why a lot of Mormons are on antidepressants. They just don't have the ability or space to process a lot of their emotions
I went through a LOT of that for years after leaving Mormonism, and a lot of that was just not knowing healthy ways to process things
They are right.
Mormons under 25 years old are the highest suicide rate of American Denominations!
That makes sense.. I have a similar explanation as to why when some people say ohh LGBT people have miserable lives. Well that's because the society around them hates them. Maybe their own families disown them and is causing them a lot of stress . Why would they be exuberantly happy?
Thank you for addressing the history of the church and colonization. I think it’s a subject that is skipped over a lot and many are in denial about what happened.
YES. Our Queen delivered!
I sooooo can’t wait to hear your thoughts on the new sleeveless garments. Those garments are gonna end up panties and a bra. I remember grandma saying they were below the knee. To be all-knowing God sure does have to change things a lot.
there are SLEEVELESS garments now??? wtf this is crazzyyyy. not as mind boggling as allowing tatts and piercings to a degree but still. huh?? (exmo since early 2010s)
@ yep sleeveless for those in hotter climates 🙄
Ex Mormon since 1997. Wow, sleeveless garments!!
I hated those things so much.
I was never LDS but I grew up around it in the Boy Scouts. As I got older and started helping on the adult side I learned more about how different LDS scout units were from traditional ones. The saddest statistic was that 70% of all preventable fatal accidents that happened every year at scouting events/outings occurred in LDS chartered units.
OMG! That stat is horrific! Why do you think that is? What do leaders do differently in LDS scout units?
I've seen some idiotic behaviors camping with Mormon eagle scout types- such as banking a fire in the desert during summer. What kind of idiot does that?
Perhaps the large families means that parents rely on older children to watch the younger children and they grow complacent. In a peer group, the kids will all be the same age, so the more risk- taking kids will feel more comfortable ignoring the warnings of the more cautious kids.
Incredible thumbnail work 👏🏻
Thank you!! 😘
I remember that episode where Ethan from h3 coined the phrase “Mormon glaze” 😂that shit was so funny
Growing up as a woman with a bigger body in Utah, in the church, can be so lonely! Especially as a young adult when you are supposed to be dating to marry. All of your church friends are dating and you are not because you don’t fit into those expectations. Loved the video!!
After living there, I was shocked at how many are soooo skinny when there’s a sweet shop on every street corner.
@@OhK586how do they stay skinny drinking 46oz sodas from swig???
@@laurielafreniere7062 the world may never know!
@@laurielafreniere7062genetics, fast metabolisms run in families, being slim is just their natural build. My mum is slim, so am I, so is my son
@laurielafreniere7062 go to the bathroom, you will hear how they stay so skinny. Lol
I moved to United States 10 years ago from Ukraine. I was raised in the christian family, pentecostal movement but more progressive and it’s called “charismatic”. And here in the USA I visited a lot of baptists and pentecostal churches with more conservative views. Every time I see a person in the store, mall or the lab that I work, I can tell if person is Ukrainian and if person is member of the church like right away. 😅
While you talked about mormon generation, it unlocked my memory of the Sherlock Holmes book, when there were a tragic love story of mormon girl and not mormon guy… it’s actually really interesting how mormon community were present in “A Study in Scarlet”.
Yes it was so interesting. I think it is so sad that they usually take out the mormon cult nonsense in modern retellings. I think it is cool Arthur Conan Doyle was obsessed with mormons and fairies. So many mormons think that they were "normal" in the victorian age, but nope it was so weird famous authors of the time wrote that it's weird.
@@Tiniestwombatas someone who has access to 1800s religious newspapers, everyone hated them and thought they were weird
I wish that evidence would sway them. I have a Mormon Martha that insists that Lydia from pride and prejudice was the only normal one and her sisters were all old maids despite the plot being very much aghast at Lydia's actions and behavior. There is no evidence or history or context that can change people's minds if they are willfully ignorant.
lol yeah mormonism was literally like their equivalent of scientology 😂
It's funny about the countenance thing and the light of Christ and people saying you lost it in your newer photos and whatever, but I think you look so much happier now. Brighter, too.
I've had more people tell me I have a "brightness" or a "light" to me since I left than I did when I was in the church. I think it really all just depends on how you carry yourself. I've always been quick to help people and listen to their problems and be kind as its one of the core values I learned growing up from the church I actually think is a good thing and have carried over in my life. I try to always be kind to others as that is the golden rule, and it's an important one.
Guatemalan here. I live a few blocks from the oldest Mormon temple in the country, and lemme tell ya, there’s 100% an Utah Mormon look, but there’s also a Guatemalan Mormon look. Utah Mormons stand out for sure, you can see the blonde gringos walking around grocery stores, doctors’ offices, etc, and even without seeing their name tags, you can immediately tell.
Guatemalan Mormons are a little trickier, because we all already tend to dress relatively modestly as a whole, but they tend to dress in more old fashioned styles (especially women, there’s lots of floral prints and lacy hems, and early 2000s layered tops), but also putting A LOT of effort into color matching their entire outfit. It’s almost Pinteresty-looking. There’s also just a weird toxic positivity that emanates off of everyone in waves. Forced smiles, and smiling in situations that wouldn’t really warrant that much of a sunny disposition. 🤷♀️🤷♀️
Oh wow. I wonder how they get around the "delightsomeness" teachings in Guatemala.
@@jaclynlevy5644 I’m half Guatemalan and half Mexican, so relatively brown. These countries are very colorist and view whiter skin as superior, so the internalized hatred helps with that. (in my experience, obvs.)
Yes it is the same expression that evangelical Christians have. Blank stare a vacant smile very television like
One thing that struck me when you discussed the "Mormon Wives" episode, was how Very Blonde most of these women were, save for one. Also, the darker haired ones were lighter than what I would consider a brunette. This doesn't seem accidental, from the outside...
Mormons isolated for a very long time after the pioneers. My wife got a dna test and it said "your ancestors likely traveled across america in the mormon migration". We're literally ethnically mormon.
You would likely be about 70% British, 30% Scandinavian.
@@Themanyfacesofegooh hey that’s what my ancestry profile looks like. I was from pioneer stock from 3/4 of my grandparents, so that explains a lot.
@@Themanyfacesofego mostly Scottish, Irish, and British
Alyssa also had that show up in her DNA results
@@lordspaz88 The Scottish ( and some of the Irish) are British.
Omg! I had the "wishing for an eating disorder" thing too. Ive never been Mormon, but the 2000s were a terrible time for body acceptance
I was in college in the 2000s and almost everyone had some sort of disordered eating. It was awful.
My mother was part of that crowd even late 90s. I grew up drinking skim milk my whole childhood.
Late 90’s, early 2000’s yes. I graduated high school in 1997 and I spent all my teen years, 20’s and most of my 30’s with an ED. I was obsessed with not eating and working out constantly. To the point that I lost hair, didn’t menstruate and had stress fractures in my shins that didn’t heal for over a decade😢
I thought Fiona Apple had the PERFECT body.
you’re eloquent and respectful way of delivering information on such a normally taboo topic like religion is so amazing and refreshing
I feel as if I’m in recovery from being a former LDS as well as substance abuse. I’ve been peeling back layers and layers of trauma to the point of waking up in sweats, panic attacks which I haven’t had in over a decade, and stomach pains that are so extremely painful that I’ve passed out.
I have no community. No one. My fiancé passed away last year. I’ve been mistreated by doctors and psychiatrists in the past. Almost all my savings is gone. I can’t believe I gave away 10% of my income, my time, and more to these people.
I’m sorry, I just feel used and that the church made me to feel as if I’m permanently unsalvageable. Thank you for getting the word out about what a horrible organization the LDS is.
I just needed to get this off my chest. I’m in genuine physical and mental pain they have no use for me. Especially as an “older” woman. I wish I never got involved with these people. Please keep telling your truth! ❤ 😞
Sounds like your head is in a bad spot. I am sorry for that. I'd like to say there is all kinds of help available for you, but w/ your savings almost gone, I don't know. I worked in public health for years and there are public pgms. for help; churches and aid groups too; but w/ your bad experience w/ those kind of things....I don't want to intrude. I hope you find the help & peace you are seeking. Not sure where to tell you to find it.
Same here, and I totally get it. I'm sorry you're hurting!
I'm glad you shared, this sounds too tough to try to hold in. I hope you try to look online for ex-mo support groups ❤️
I can’t help much but I also deal with stomach issues. For my nausea I take over the counter Nauzene. Luke warm mint tea helps calm my hot stomach. I’ve tried lemon in my tea and sometimes it helps, sometimes the acid hurts. I wake up with shakes and I get so cold. I don’t want to say ✨Just breathe✨ because that’s not great advice but I’ve found that breathing techniques are one of the only ways I can get my nerves to calm down a little. There’s a TH-cam channel called The Honest Guys and their one video “The Porch” helps distract me from the constant thoughts going through my head. I’ve recently started journaling, just writing down whatever thoughts come into my head. It helps my anxiety because it’s almost like talking with someone. It gives me the ability to process my feelings because I’m writing them down and they aren’t swimming through my head over and over. I can’t exactly understand my thoughts when they’re in my head because they go so fast so it helps to write them down. I’m sorry your doctors aren’t helping. I’ve found that a lot of doctors say “no that won’t work” and don’t follow it up with something that would help. I have to almost interrogate them for things they think would help me. I’ve had to make appointments with every doctor available at the office I go to to find a doctor that understands me. I hope any of this advice helps and doesn’t come off weird 😅
My comments keep dying! There's very little understanding of spiritual/religious trauma in the medical and psych world. I have a CPTSD diagnosis and still haven't found a therapist with the specific tools. I find a lot of healing from Alyssa, Cults to Consciousness, and The Antibot, as well as humorous healing from Willie Muse. Mickey Atkins is good, too. It's better than nothing at all.
16:16 oh, you have given the NY Post WAAAAYYY too much credit. They are a half step above a tabloid.
I think she has them confused with the NYT edit: or the Washington Post
Hey love the content. Im from an old mormon family in Hawaii Im inactive mostly because i havent gone through the trouble of leaving yet. I definitely get a vibe from other mormons which sets my radar off. I have not thought about the positive attitude at all times indoctrination but that definitely rings true. Thanks for pointing that out.
If a Mormon missionary ever came to my door, I think I might ask if they wanted to use my phone to call their families. I just can’t imagine not being allowed to do that.
That has actually changed in 2019. Now they can text, call, and do video calls with their families every week . I was pissed off because I had to deal with only emails once a week and calling twice a year when I was in the mission. My mission president told us not to go over an hour and they doing so would be “disobedient”. Missionaries can now use social media as well. The church realized how damaging things were to missionaries mental health.
@@ericseamons9982 and even emails was a change, I was a missionary in 2001 and at that time we still were only allowed to write to our families once a week on Mondays, and calls were limited to two days a year for one hour.... though I don't know a single missionary in our mission who actually abided by that rule.
Probably helps what I was stateside so it wasn't like our families were paying international calling costs (they also had to call us, we couldn't call them because God forbid that the church have to pay the long distance calling fee)
Offer juice, water and a snack too
45:40 One of my favorite parts of your editing is that you don’t cut out moments like this. It seems that whoever edits them has the goal of keeping clips of you as long as possible, instead of cutting out every mistake and making it jumpy. This helps me focus, makes it feel like im having a conversation with someone irl, almost like a buffer moment for me to be more aware of what you are saying. You are a star!
you're so good at explaining, being thorough with research, and treating the topics with respect and class. another alyssa banger!
In Salt Lake; due to that overly perky attitude, some of us never Mormons play a game when people watching downtown... Mormon or Gay.
LOL
Ooooooohhhh, that's why I was bullied in college and was constantly slandered as being gay, it was them coming into contact with Mormons for the first time. Damn, that explains it.
@@ethanstump Being gay isn't a slander anymore than being straight is. I am sorry that you were bullied, though. Bullying for anything is never appropriate.
Trust me I know, I'm much more confident in myself, but as a hybrid masc/fem guy who actually has a sunscreen regimen, I was a lot more insecure of myself at a younger age, plus was still coming out of my familys conservativism.
So as I was actually trying to date and be appealing to women, being told that I wasn't was kind of a huge blow.
Obviously someone who is homophobic is obviously not the person I would want to be with, but as I said, I was just figuring things out and was in a vulnerable moment, and rather than finding support, I was mocked for being "stylish".
@@ethanstump Sounds like those gals lost out on a decent person and you managed to avoid some bad ones. Hopefully life has made a turn around for you.
Really one of the best sociological presentations concerning Mormonism I have ever seen. Alyssa covered the bases of Mormon culture, beliefs and heritage very well! Thank you.
Wow, this went way deeper than I expected and you handled the subject matter incredibly well. I super duper appreciate your conversation around the inherent racism involved (my jaw DROPPED when you shared how people have described your kids) and how it's our job to dismantle and destroy not the people, but these harmful ideas. Also how you showed the sexism at play and how this pursuit of perfection hurts real people. Excellent work. You left no crumbs.
The new, atheist version of her is a night and day improvement from the videos she has shared of her old self. So much clearer, more honest, intelligent, funny... So much more of a real, evolved, individual personality. "Lost the light of her countenance." Ugh. What obnoxious bologna.
5:28 The irony of this when all the Ex-mormon and never-mormon viewers say you look so much brighter now lol
This video made something from my childhood click in such a different way..
I HATED my very blonde hair as a child and often wanted to dye it, which resulted in everyone telling me "NO! People would kill for your hair color!"
Now I'm 35 with a completely different view on what that REALLY meant. 🤯
as someone born with black hair that precedence has always disturbed me. the blonde girls were always told how lucky
they were, beautiful, special, and like you said- that others would kill for their hair. girls with dark hair and eyes were pitied even if we we’re objectively stunning lol. never sat right with me. my mom is blonde and blue eyed and she favored my sibling because they were born with blonde hair (which ironically turned dark and curly like my dads so she’s SOL
now 😂).
I've gotten that too, and I've also had people accuse me of being a fake blonde, lol. The irony is that I think dark hair is super pretty and idk if I could pull it off 😂
The main thing keeping me from dyeing my hair now is being lazy/cheap. I've seen my friends spend so much time and money on their hair, and they usually end up getting sick of it and going back to their natural color anyway.
@@lasantuzza777yeah, it's pretty disturbing. I'm sorry your mom was like that with you. Playing favorites is bad enough, but to do it over something like that is so strange.
7:04 Wow. Yes, very toxic positivity. While you were singing the song about turning a frown upside down, the song Turn It Off from The Book of Mormon: The Musical popped into my head.
You have a great Mormon-tuition, Alyssa! Well done! 👍🏻
No shade to anyone, but I think the "light" they're emanating is in direct correlation to the old adage: " the lights on but no ones home" 😉
😂🤣
I’m an ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses, but my dad’s family is ‘pioneer stock.’ I was born in Utah, and am living here again after 20 years out of state. My great grandparents converted, but my family was LDS until that time. My husband was doing our ancestry, and he was like, ‘Did you know you have direct lines to the pioneers that settled the Salt Lake valley?’ Yes, yes I do lol.
One of my favorite quotes from The Book of Mormon from my youth growing up, was the that addressing this about the Lamanites was that the Nephites were "light and delightsome".
My Dad would inquire, when we talked about this, if that meant the other peoples were "dark and loathsome".
😅
I was raised Mormon and as far back as I could remember being able to really take in what that implied, I remembered being disgusted by it, especially since I was raised by parents who were really part of that "color blind" post racial American thinking of everyone is equal, god loves all of us, etc etc
So to see our official book saying god thought one group of people were bad and to make them look unappealing, he made their skin dark really didn't sit well with me
Since you've done one for SM, I'd like to see other "signs this was written by a mormon" videos.
It was my most requested video from last week's comments, so it's coming!
Thank you for your efforts. Joseph Smith's maternal great-great grandmother, Deborah Huntley, is (if I recall the exact number) my 6th great grandmother. Before the internet, my road-trippin' family drove from Pennsylvania to Salt Lake City where my father, an Episcopal priest, was welcomed warmly as he solved many puzzles and gaps in my mother's ancestral record. I majored in and maintain a great interest in sociology and anthropology, which is another reason why I look forward to seeing your Mormon face on the regular!
There's also the Mormon sound. I can usually tell if someone is Mormon by the second syllables of certain words. Usually ones that end in -tion. There's a way that it sounds like shun. There are more, but now that I'm on the spot, I can't think of them. But once you know the sound, it's easy to key in on.
It's called the "glottal stop". I was a non mormon raisin SLC and I still struggle with it. It's not just a mormon thing though. It's a Southern thing as well. Marjorie trailer green uses it a lot and that's part of what makes her sound so incredibly stupid. It just sounds so bad.
At this point I’m starting to believe there might be such a thing as ethnically Mormon, just like with Jewish peoples. I can imagine it must be very very difficult to leave such a high demand religion and still looking like you’re still part of it, just by your non-controllable features. Great video Alyssa, thank you! 🫶
I think I’d agree, especially in multigenerational Mormons.
I love when you share childhood songs with us, because you have such a pretty voice.
That song had some crazy intervals for a kid's tune!
Ex-mo with 5-6 generations of mormons on both sides here. But even with the "right" genes I've never looked "mormon enough." I'm heavy set with dark thick hair and I laugh and talk too loud. When I was active I knew I couldn't ever look like the "Molly Mormons" but i tried to at least sound and talk like them. I tried my hardest to have the countenance they would talk about, and i was told by many people that they wouldn't have guessed i was Mormon but when they found out they weren't surprised. That was about the best I could get.
Recently I was talking with a friend and mentioned that i had been raised Mormon, and my friend looked absolutely gobsmacked at the revelation. They said they never in a million years would guess I had been Mormon. That's the best compliment I've had in a long time 😂
This is what I see, at least in the men: underbite, square jaw, wide set eyes, tall, yet flat nose bridge, blonde.
Spending two years (for men) knocking on doors selling a fundamentally unappealing product must induce a kind of blankly positive default face when people cuss you out that fits into your general visage and will likely rub off on one's children.
Growing up in Provo as a nevermo, when I went over to any my friends homes the mothers more often than not had no cheerful countenance. Instead they appeared tired, overworked, stressed, grumpy and sometimes angry with their children. It surprised me because my non Mormon mom was not like this at all but then she lead a happy and fulfilled life free from Mormon oppression. I am so thankful I never converted into this hurtful religion.
It was fascinating hearing how the nose ring was healing for you. My parents are pretty liberal and don’t mind most nose rings as long as it’s not a septum piercing which my mom thinks looks like cowbells. (I love Cynthia Erivo and Florence Pugh as actresses and wouldn’t want to cramp their personal styles.) But it’s fascinating hearing about how your piercing was to heal from religious trauma instead of just a simple style choice.
My Mom was super free-range chick but she hated tattoos. I am approaching 40 and Mom has passed, still no tattoos
@@AlisonKenzoland My mom thinks my tattoos and piercings are cool, but every time I get acrylic nails she rolls her eyes and goes on and on about how ugly they are lmao
You look so much authentically happier and full of life now! Thanks for sharing your knowledge and experience!
I had a visceral reaction to the “You don’t see kids like this anymore” bit. 😬🤮
if someone said that to me it'd make feel gross for reproducing even though I'd know logically I'd done nothing wrong
38:25 the story of Jesus coming to America sounds a bit like a fanfiction of the bible 😂
That's The Book of Mormon in a nut shell.
There are some that describe the entire Book of Mormon that way.
There's a phenomenon amongst a generation of youth to talk about "NPCs"; *That* describes the Mormon look most accurately for me. It almost tracks, too: Surrendering your (ironically god-given) autonomy to religious authority isn't so far detached from one's actions being controlled by a server daemon.
I see the prevalence of northern european ancestry as simply coincidental.
What is NPC?
@@jewelgazer Non Player Character
I saw your quotes in the WSJ article about Utah Curls! Great Video as always and it’s great to see that your work is gaining traction off social media!
46:50 OMG, that quote about being Mormon actually turning your skin lighter is absolutely jaw droppingly bad
I am so happy that you talk about the founder effect in your video! I am an biologist researcher and I can tell you that people believe that everything is inbreed haha The founder effect is when an population that is big enough to have good biodiversity, but a gene is 'abnormally' present in that population, meaning the gene is over represented in that population compare to other population. To be inbreed you need to 'score high enough' on the coefficient of inbreeding.
I was at a scholastic convention in high school in Colorado and I spotted a fellow Mormon girl in the crowd of hundreds. We hugged and for years I used that story to fuel my testimony that we saw the Spirit in each other .
I felt like an outsider as a Mormon convert. Even though I live just outside of NYC.
I've resisted the urge to clap after a musical number. I grew up in a black baptist church. I'm used to loud worship services. As a young convert (I was 21 when I was baptized), I had a hard time relating to Mormons around my age if they grew up in the church.
In europe the same thing was done to sami children, they were taken from their communities and examined to prove that they were less smart and that they needed to go to a different school from the non sami children to be taught to be "normal" people. 55:44
I commented the opposite & I will again, you have always been stunning & beautiful but I think you’re more so now since you left Mormonism! Your face glows more now bc you are happier & think for yourself & that is beautiful! ❤
5:54 in the RLDS we had "Happy Are the People, Whose God Is the Lord" and all the little ones would be at the front, with some poor 16 year old trying her best to keep them from either crying or running away back to mama.
i’ve been watching your youtube videos since you started making long form content and i have loved seeing you grow! this video was very well edited and had great graphics, thanks as always for making this needed content
It's CRAZY they have no position on plastic surgery when the reason they objected to tattooing and piercings was you were ruining god's perfect work and the temple that is your body.
If me getting extra holes in my ears was "destroying my temple" then how much more so is getting my entire face redone to achieve some specific beauty standard? But then Mormons are nothing if not superficial when it comes to appearances, so I guess this shouldn't really surprise me...
I can't tell if someone is Mormon, but i can usually tell if someone is going to try and convert me. It's a spidey sense.
Yup
I went to a very Mormon public high school in vegas, it's a vibe they give off, you can almost always tell.
If you would like to look even more different from the typical Mormon, I think you could rock a shorter haircut beautifully 😊
Love your videos and the way you talk and explain everything so in depth.
1:01:24 I'm going to respond to all questions about my sexuality with "I'm part of a tradition" 😂 moving forward
I will never forget the one time I think I scared some poor Mormon boys on a mission. They had come up to me while I was on my front porch ready next to my pride flag, in rainbow pants, reading ice planet barbarians. I was very polite to them and let them talk but the whole time one of these poor guys just kept panic looking at my pride flag and they stumble a lot of their words. They asked if they could bear witness to me and I let them do their thing and smiled the whole time and at the end told them I wasn't interested. I that I was a big ol queer and i didn't think that would jive with them. They walked away from my house so fast and I have never had a group come back.
Zinger¡!!!!!!!😂😂😂😂❤❤❤❤🎉🎉🎉
I have quite a history of inbreeding in my family. We are coming from small Jewish shtetl in Belarus, so the choice of spouse was rather small. Almost everyone in generation of my parents and my generation have one of the types of diabetes and thyroid problems.
And my husband’s family are Iranian Jews, and same thing happened. They have hemophilia in the generation of his parents.
I’m so happy it ends on us, we have a familiar connection only seven-eight generations away. Yay to better genetic pool!
Im eastern Orthodox and my family were immigrants. At my orthodox church, we have such a diverse group of parishioners that we all come from diffferent backgrounds. Noone thinks twice about it. We also have coffee hour after liturgy. We dont know what Jesus looked like but he was likely to look middle eastern. Thats what some have said he may have looked like. What would the Mormon church say to that? What if he showed up looking different from the mormom look? This just baffles me with what the mormoms are out there believing and teaching
I’m not sure but Jesus is often depicted as a white guy. Plus in Mormonism, Jesus is considered an important prophet and one of many prophets, but he is not considered God himself.
@@heidiheidi0yeah, he’s depicted as a white guy by white people who used it to control. The Bible does not describe him as such. Jesus is also the son of God. Would he not look like his father? How old are you? You have to be young not to understand that.
Ahh Alyssa!!!
1. That thumbnail is so good! I can tell that took a while lol
2. I am soo excited for a new video especially since i have been wondering about the "Mormon Glow ™"
3. Girl you look awesome your hair is always so so bouncy ❤
Nothing’s better than watching one of your videos and drinking some of the devil’s leaf juice (cause the bean juice makes me feel sick)
Cajun and Amish communities have experienced inbreeding problems. Cajuns sometimes suffer blindness and Amish can suffer paralysis.
I’m blonde, blueish eyes, don’t drink coffee or tea, don’t smoke, don’t do alcohol or substances, have had every ED across the board.. I wonder if people would pick me as a mormon 🤣
Or European lmao
Because of a discussion on stream on Twitch, I went to Y-Tube to find out what the inside of a temple looked like. I sorta went down a rabbit hole. Not a bad one though--I found you. I grew up Southern Baptist, and I do believe we also have a "face". Baptists also want to be considered perfect, but we're also given that God doesn't want us to change how we are. So it's a dilemna when you're young and approaching puberty in the chuch. You weight too much, look too frumpy, but here you can't wear shorts and your skirt can only be a certain length no shorter and your other clothing should be modest as well. Why do these religions do this to their kids and families?
Your comment about the verse to remember will be noted by me. I have been visited by missionaries several times when I was younger (28-32 mostly) and I got into trouble with the local temple/chapel because of the things I brought up with the missionaries. One even left the church after thinking about it. They refused to allow anymore missionaries to visit me. At that time I had a Book of Morman so I used it to emphasize points like the "female god" aspect. It's been twenty years so I can't recall many details now but I admit I found it funny (not-haha, but there was some of that too) that the men (it was always men) seem startled by what I was telling them as if it was a deep secret.
Thank you for posting these. They are eye opening.
I’ve seen the glow, inner light of happiness shining from the eyes and relentless positivity also in friends who grew up in the World Wide Church of God and their families. A similar, but much smaller, insular Jesus cult.
I would LOVE to hear about the Mormon converts you've met in the past!! I'm very interested to know what draws someone to the LDS church over other sects of Christianity. Love your videos btw ❤
Most people get drawn into cults when they are vulnerable, lonely, and looking for “the answer”. They get false promises of having “the answer” if you just do as you’re told, and they get love-bombed at first. But it’s getting harder and harder for the cults to find suckers, because anyone with the internet and 2 brain cells can see what they’re up to.
Wait! A single cup of coffee keeps you out of the Celestial Kingdom for all eternity, but Botox is A-OK?
that part about wanting an eating disorder is so real to me. i was never mormon but i have struggled with eating and body image and whenever i bring up the act that i used to want an eating disorder so bad everyone thought it wierd and insesitive. a year later i did end up developing an ed,, ive never seen anyone else talk about those specefic thoughts about wanting an ed, this made me feel seen, thank you
you're very scholarly! my spouse is good at picking out mormons. for him, it's not a particular physicality, but it's what you referred to: a certain kind of over-the-top bursting cheeriness and friendliness. which is not necessarily bad but just.... confusing. it's nice but it's..... startling. like I've been slapped in the face by a birthday cake. 😁also, shocked to find out Joseph Smith was a communist (give all you have and you'll get back according to your need) when Mormons seems to vote Republican. excellent video as usual! i so appreciate your thoroughness and care. (down with perfectionism!!!)
I am German and when I heard about the Aryan, my jaw dropped to the floor. It's so bad for me to hear that there are still people who believe this, especially because nobody was safe from it. My father had medium blond hair and that alone was enough to classify him as less valuable in Germany between 1936 and 1945. His older brother got married at 18 and his wife had to get an Aryan certificate in 1941 (a horrible identity card that confirmed that you were German enough) because there wasn't enough proof that she was German. in order to be allowed to get married, you had to prove that you were German up to the 5th generation. i despise anyone who thinks that's ok.