Ok, real talk, I have listened to WHGS since the beginning (I’m talking youth in the sound booth era). I always related to the co-hosts because of their gender journeys. But Maddie’s journey hits particularly close to home. I feel this desire to be more than I am, but I get so caught up in labels that it stops me dead in my tracks. Thank you Ash for starting this podcast, thank you Maddie for sharing, and thank you for this weird little parasocial relationship that makes me feel less alone ❤
Thank you for sharing this! I love the diversity of guests and perspectives of hosts on the show because I know everyone is different and there’s a ton of stories I cannot tell. ❤
Ashley was giving all the credit to Main Main for taking the space for reflection and communication. But it was so healthy of Ashley to be respectful of that space. ❤️ so happy for both of them. It sounds like they have something really special
Ashley talking about her and MainMain putting an official label on their relationship was so cute💕. Her excitement makes me look forward to the future for myself🥰. Also the Maddie's gay thought was funny
I can’t stop laughing. I know I’m High. But this is my favorite episode ever. Ashley’s love for this girl feels so genuine. Anyone is luck to have her. Hearing this makes you realize that healthy relationships can exist.
It’s so wonderful to hear Ashley’s journey with relationships, intimacy, and love. I’ve never really had an example of what a healthy relationship could be and how that person/you should make each other feel - so thanks ☺️ Really excited for you Ashley!!
Great episode! Appreciate Mak talking about her experience with social media. I’ll try to get a life and some real people to actually reciprocate my feelings thanks Ashley. If it doesn’t work out I will come back.
I adored this episode; the big news from Ashley, the vulnerability from Mak, the awesome conversation from Maddie about making changes and not labelling them! I loved the conversation about parasocial relationships; I've listened to WHGS since you had Alayna Joy on for the first time and have listened to all of the episodes since (and caught up with all the Youth in the Booth episodes - p.s. I would love to see Gara on a future episode), and it has become something I use to get me to do my housework. It makes my everyday chores a little easier to handle and I really cannot thank you enough for that. However, sometimes I have to take a step back before I get too wrapped up in your lives that I forget to live my own; something that people don't always think about with parasocial relationships - similar to Kelly from The Office, when she tells Jim all the stuff going on with celebrities as "her" news, y'know? Anyways... Maddie - I cannot get enough of your "mean" side, had me in stitches 🤣
Mak is giving Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome Edit: I didn’t realize this joke was gonna be made about Ashley. I have never had an original thought
47:22 - This part really hit, man. It's a similar feeling, as an indie filmmaker (mostly _locally_ famous, micro-micro celebrity, but I still get a version of the experience). It's on a whole other escalated level with me, because I'm a closeted trans woman, so in a way my stage name never really meant me... but yeah, with local fame it now doesn't even mean a _version_ of me, it really only means the image of how people perceive me. I can only imagine how much more dehumanizing that distinction between self and perceived self must feel on the scale of a much larger trans celebrity, since even their own peers wouldn't be giving them that recognition of authentic self.
As someone who's recovered from some pretty unhealthy parasocial relationships I developed as a teen, this topic hits close to home! For what it's worth, I don't think you forming bonds with internet personas is inherently unhealthy-and especially as someone who's autistic, I find value in the way they can make you company when you're too overwhelmed for actual social interaction. In my opinion, the key is that: 1. You are fully aware of what's happening. Sadly we're not at a point where that kind of audience awareness is widespread, but I hope it can become so in the future (creators talking about it and being responsible does help, but at the end of the day it's a very personal awareness you ought to come into yourself.) 2. It cannot be the backbone of your relationships. Which sadly is a likely road you can go down to if you're queer, closeted, etc. Podcasts are awesome, but only as a desert on top of strong connections with other humans that can actually reciprocate; not as the bulk of your social diet. Anyway, for anyone struggling with this: All the love from someone on the other side. Friends can be hard to come by, but they are coming. 🖤
Congrats on the girlfriend, Ashley! I love that you have discussed your commitment and your future and you feel so great with her. Being open is absolutely not something you need to get rid of in marriage, with kids or otherwise, but I think you know that already. Genuinely so happy for you.
I’m so happy for Ashley 🥺 gosh her relationship with main-main is exactly what I’m looking for, I feel so hopeful that I’ll find it one day. But for now, I’ll live through Ashley ♥️♥️
Wow I’m not sure I’ve laughed so hard at any other episode of like anything. AND I was happy for Ashley’s relationship story AND I appreciated the parasocial(ism) talk. It’s a dark and snowy Monday night here in Sweden and you totally brought some of that Springfield sun into it
i absolutely love watching you and mak interact together. you guys make me laugh so much. i would love to see you hannah berner and the chosen family squad do a podcast together.
This is thee best conversation! I think I spend lots of hours thinking about how metacommunication, social media and parasocial relationships change culture, community, activism, and the definition of authenticity. None of it's good. Not at the root. Good things might come from it. But they aren't essential to it. If you are monetizing something, it isn't real. Yeah reach is a good byproduct. But it has such problematic repercussions for culture, period. Thanks for this transparency. It is so important!
Monetizing something means you are selling it and an impression of yourself. You are creating an image in order to sell something. There is a really interesting documentary on Hulu about influencers. Including who is successful at it. If you weren't monetizing you wouldn't be there. That's the point. I'll try to find it and share it.
Just got done listening on Spotify and I've gotta say this ep was so lovely. Everything you talked about is fascinating to me and im so glad you really dug into parasocial relationships. It reaaaaallly makes me happy to hear you telling your listeners to find community in the real world, my real world queer friends literally make living in this world so much more bearable. We have to keep moving from persocial relationships to investment and solidarity with those close to us. 💖💖💖
I'm a black woman,30 something and straight from England. And I think this and you guys are fucking brilliant 😂 Your brilliance can be seen everywhere 😊
Your podcasts helped me so much while I was climbing out of a really dark decade. Happy to share I’m doing much better, and I have plans to move back to the city later this year, finish school, and start a career as a ct technician. I have EDS too and I’ve always wanted to work in the medical field and finally found something that my team thinks I’ll be able to do :) thanks so much for cheering me up and distracting me from the pain!
Loved the talking hat, happy for Ashley & MainMain, Mac is hilarious. And I'm so glad you didn't use the mouth sounds as the opening clip, because the comedic timing of it was so perfect where it was! I've been watching way more standup thanks to this podcast & the guests. Food for the mood . Ashley, I think it's working!
Ashley yay!!! I’m so happy for you ❤ thank you for sharing & being vulnerable, you have no idea how much it really helps. I appreciate creators being open about the hard stuff and how their journeys are really going!
Omg you saw my comment again! Woohoo you've made my year, by making my past 2 weeks. I can't wait for the special to come out and for you to hopefully make it over to Europe (Ireland pls lol 🙏)
Mak, ur probably not reading this but i am gonna say it anyway: i found you via TH-cam and (if that and the podcast is something u enjoy) it feels like thats something to be proud of! Ur inspiring people, u create a safe space for queers and i think thats really great!
Ashley you totally brought the corn. It wasn't the crop corn and it wasn't the band korn, it was the corny corn, the super simp mushy corn that we are all here for. Huge yay for your news.
I really enjoyed the piece around commitment and having open dialogue in healthy relationships. My partner of 4 years and I recently had talk about the next step in our relationship, which is buying a place together. I couldn’t figure out why it felt so overwhelming for me and she had been trying to talk to me about it for the last 2 years and I’d be so avoidant. Finally, this past week, we had a good chat, full of tears on my end while admitting to some harmful core beliefs that I’ve been hanging on to. I do feel much lighter now.
so happy for ashley and mainmain! also i may or may not be doing a 2x speed rewatch of the last several episodes trying to figure out the mainmain timeline...
It totally makes sense that Mak and Brad Pitt come from the same town. If I ever made eye contact with a TH-camr in the street I have decided that I will smile and wave coyly then carry on with my day and at most, if it seems an ok time, shrink myself to the size of a bean and gently ask for an autograph then skip away like Heidi of the mountains having been given a hunk of cheese and some bread from Grandma, holding it to my heart.
31:23 YES! This! I’m so happy for you and I want that too. Feeling safe with someone is something that doesn’t even feel possible at times but hearing you talk made me so happy and hopeful
10000% agree with you Ashley, about how it's so much better for me to KNOW what's going on, rather than having the surprise and grand gestures element. I feel like I have so much anxiety about things I don't know already, it feels good to have your person not be someone you have to be unsure about, and the sense of safety that adds to your relationship.
I love your parasocial personas, community is a such a big thing I feel like people are starting to understand how much importance it has for everyone to create a real human bond with people that are similar to them irl We need other people to regulate our nervous system, we cannot do everything by ourselves and then call ourselves a failure when we find out we cannot No one can do or should do everything by themselves, we need community fr
Important thing Ashley related about: monogamy doesnt always define commitment. For a lot of people, that is not what makes them committed to their partner. It’s so much more than that. And it’s so possible to feel extremely safe and in a committed relationship without monogamy.
God I love Maddie & their take on literally everything. Ashley please tell them, I know they don't like reading the comments I especially love the piercing/ ritual chat
Great for you both Ashley. All your work is paying off. I love this show! You all make me so appreciative of your vulnerability, self depreciation and bravery!
42:02 Ashley just describes what an Markering Persona is. A bunch of characteristics based off statistics and encounters, with a face; Wich gives a felling of understanding your audience enough to be able to make quick decisions in regards to them.
I wish I could hug Mak and tell her that its her plataform, she can do whatever she wantsss with it! and also the videos that I most like of you are those where you are sharing your fits, climbing, etc...
A safe relationship! My god, that is a dream!!! I totally get everything Ashley described about safety and open conversations. Conversations require so much courage, trust and openness, and to know that if something feels wrong to a person they will talk to you, is so freeing. No mind-reading and guessing and adjusting your behavior to a fictional script in your head. Real presence!!! So glad you have that Ashley!!! Also, although I am not into parasocially relating to people :) I deeply appreciate authenticity in any context, not because that makes me feel like now I know Ashley, but because it is real. I am curious about what is really going on with people and what is and experience or life like for others, so I am not a fan of reality shows or tik tok or other performances that don't have clear line between a performance and what's genuine. Although it can be interesting to observe how playing a certain persona can change the actual person with time, I am really grateful for vulnerability when I watch podcasts like this one.
My Top Five in this episode Talking about parasocial relationships (viewers and creator side) If a labeling pressures you, drop it for now and just be The Setup and seeing everyone from one camera Everyone having a comfortable chair The intro scene and the gay shame outro
Well said, about personas, assumptions, and parasocial types of interactions. ( Reciprocal, individual friendships involve depth and trust.) When they were guests, too: Shaaba and Jamie also had some psychological insight regarding emotional benefits to parasocial "relationships", as well as the limits and necessary boundaries. One category was forgotten: anyone who currently needs more physical isolation, due to autoimmune/ health conditions, - or whatever reason. There are online meeting spots, video calls, and options to build communication that is a direct and/ or small group discussion, which allows people to learn and grow to know each other at an equal rate. ( Also, an audience of strangers is not part of the equation, so preserved broadcasting need not be considered. People can more likely focus on the moment than try to anticipate the many ways something can be interpreted weeks later, out of context, by a third party/anonymous audience, with their own set of unrealistic expectations and/ or pressure to appease them.)
Deepish but also hilarious episode. I love seeing y'all in the same room. The irl vibing off each other, (esp from Maddie and Mak as its seem new) ...Also great gay thought
For the purpose of this podcast, (statistically) feel free to consider me white, lesbian, 17-34, recently out of the closet, and wanting more gay friends ... because I love what you are doing and I don't want you worrying about the 59 year old straight white men demographic ever. You rock!
I totally get the safety of commitment and proposals being known ahead of time by all partners. My husband and I mutually decided we were both ready to get engaged and buy a house while having a good conversation in the bathtub together. We got to ring shop together and share in that excitement from the start. He still did a formal proposal when the rings came in from the shop and I didn't know when he would do it. I remember lots of people being surprised that we did it this way but to us, it was so much more special to have decided this together and mutually chosen to take that next step instead of all the guess work of one partner nervously asking and not knowing what the answer will be. I don't understand people being nervous about their decision at the stage of proposal or marriage. If you don't know for sure that it is right to do or what the person's answer will be, you aren't ready to do it. That is just my take though, everyone is valid in what they decide to be right for them. Love the pod and chosen family. ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
The conversation around parasocialism being unhealthy is interesting to hear from a group of people with a diverse career base. People are so misguided to think because they enjoy a persons content that they somehow have a connection with them. The dissonance between the amount of curated information about a person and the complete lack of a relationship with them is just so unusual and I think its a matter of respect and maturity to appreciate the art without pretending to know the artist.
"There's nobody here-" IM HERE. ❤ I LOVE YALL MAN. I need yall to ocme back when im no longer in a conservative household. I NEED THE GAY JOKES. Also side note- i LOVE maks hair. Idfk what it is. But its puffy and soft. MAK I LOVE YOUR HAIR
I'm really glad to hear that you're happy, Ashley. I remember being worried about you when you were involved with the ballerina a while back, so it's been nice to see you happy again. I can only speak for myself, but I don't think that the details of a relationship matter nearly as much as how the people in that relationship feel about it. If it's good for them, if all parties in the relationship are continuing to learn and grow in life, if everyone feels loved, seen, and respected, the rest is nobody else's business.
haha! I just realized Maddie is wearing a Bricktown Comedy Club shirt! I love it! Jenny legit made me cry both from mild secondhand embarrassment for her son because his mom was was so drunk and loud but also from just how much that woman truly loves her son and wants his happiness. I love to see people with supportive parents. Everyone deserves a mom like Jenny.
ASHLEYYYY THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! I genuinely look up to you so much and watching you find such an amazing relationship gives me so much hope and joy!!
Ashley, being serious, I am so f*cking happy for you and Main Main. You deserve it. She deserves it. It is so heartwarming to hear and be able to see that you are that happy. 💙💙
Mak whatever stuff you’re passionate about, other people will also love because they can see how excited and happy it makes you. I know TikTok is more of a persona type but perhaps on TH-cam and other things (whatever the secret thing coming up is) you could try injecting your passions into it more and I swear it will do well because everyone loves watching things people are passionate about
Ashley I am so so happy for you and so excited for your future! You and mainmainbabes’ relationship sounds so wonderful and healthy and I’m just overall so proud of you and happy
Heyo, just to be an anomaly in your fab club Ashley, I’m a 15 year old mixed race baby gay from the Uk. I love your content, and Mak’s, and Maddie’s, and I’ve been following every episode of Chosen Family. Thankyou for this stuff, please keep preaching, from some rando anomaly fan🥰
When Ashley said, " I just feel so safe." Without even thinking I went, "ew, god." Pure disgust, didn't even mean to. And that got me further in touch with my own bullshit than the last 10 years of therapy.
Is it Mainmain or Main main? An informal poll.
Main main imo
Main main
Main main
I posted another comment that I had been seeing Mein Mein in my mind.
Main mane
Ok, real talk, I have listened to WHGS since the beginning (I’m talking youth in the sound booth era). I always related to the co-hosts because of their gender journeys. But Maddie’s journey hits particularly close to home. I feel this desire to be more than I am, but I get so caught up in labels that it stops me dead in my tracks. Thank you Ash for starting this podcast, thank you Maddie for sharing, and thank you for this weird little parasocial relationship that makes me feel less alone ❤
Thank you for sharing this! I love the diversity of guests and perspectives of hosts on the show because I know everyone is different and there’s a ton of stories I cannot tell. ❤
Ohio
"I feel like gay sex is going to be more fun than crying in the shower" is the quote of the century! Go Maddie!
Ashley was giving all the credit to Main Main for taking the space for reflection and communication. But it was so healthy of Ashley to be respectful of that space. ❤️ so happy for both of them. It sounds like they have something really special
"was mine boring?" Ashley says just after giving us one of the most exiting life updates ever
I am so happy for Ashley and MainMain. The things that Ashley describes are so good and it touches my heart.
Ashley talking about her and MainMain putting an official label on their relationship was so cute💕. Her excitement makes me look forward to the future for myself🥰. Also the Maddie's gay thought was funny
"idk how the audience is gonna feel about this or whatever" meanwhile, I'm weeping over Ashley describing how much she loves main main
I can’t stop laughing. I know I’m High. But this is my favorite episode ever. Ashley’s love for this girl feels so genuine. Anyone is luck to have her. Hearing this makes you realize that healthy relationships can exist.
this is real and how i feel
Maddie seemed to lean more into the "mean" (but not really mean - just feisty I guess), loved it so much! Great episode :)
It’s so wonderful to hear Ashley’s journey with relationships, intimacy, and love. I’ve never really had an example of what a healthy relationship could be and how that person/you should make each other feel - so thanks ☺️
Really excited for you Ashley!!
Great episode.
Maddie was fire today! Really enjoyed the dynamics
💜
Agreed🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Great episode! Appreciate Mak talking about her experience with social media. I’ll try to get a life and some real people to actually reciprocate my feelings thanks Ashley. If it doesn’t work out I will come back.
Try volunteering at an lgbtq center or some other sort of volunteering, that’s a quick life hack for you gays to meet new people
I adored this episode; the big news from Ashley, the vulnerability from Mak, the awesome conversation from Maddie about making changes and not labelling them! I loved the conversation about parasocial relationships; I've listened to WHGS since you had Alayna Joy on for the first time and have listened to all of the episodes since (and caught up with all the Youth in the Booth episodes - p.s. I would love to see Gara on a future episode), and it has become something I use to get me to do my housework. It makes my everyday chores a little easier to handle and I really cannot thank you enough for that. However, sometimes I have to take a step back before I get too wrapped up in your lives that I forget to live my own; something that people don't always think about with parasocial relationships - similar to Kelly from The Office, when she tells Jim all the stuff going on with celebrities as "her" news, y'know?
Anyways... Maddie - I cannot get enough of your "mean" side, had me in stitches 🤣
Those clouds in the background look very beautiful. They look painted by hand.
Mak is giving Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome
Edit: I didn’t realize this joke was gonna be made about Ashley. I have never had an original thought
47:22 - This part really hit, man. It's a similar feeling, as an indie filmmaker (mostly _locally_ famous, micro-micro celebrity, but I still get a version of the experience). It's on a whole other escalated level with me, because I'm a closeted trans woman, so in a way my stage name never really meant me... but yeah, with local fame it now doesn't even mean a _version_ of me, it really only means the image of how people perceive me. I can only imagine how much more dehumanizing that distinction between self and perceived self must feel on the scale of a much larger trans celebrity, since even their own peers wouldn't be giving them that recognition of authentic self.
As someone who's recovered from some pretty unhealthy parasocial relationships I developed as a teen, this topic hits close to home! For what it's worth, I don't think you forming bonds with internet personas is inherently unhealthy-and especially as someone who's autistic, I find value in the way they can make you company when you're too overwhelmed for actual social interaction. In my opinion, the key is that:
1. You are fully aware of what's happening. Sadly we're not at a point where that kind of audience awareness is widespread, but I hope it can become so in the future (creators talking about it and being responsible does help, but at the end of the day it's a very personal awareness you ought to come into yourself.)
2. It cannot be the backbone of your relationships. Which sadly is a likely road you can go down to if you're queer, closeted, etc. Podcasts are awesome, but only as a desert on top of strong connections with other humans that can actually reciprocate; not as the bulk of your social diet.
Anyway, for anyone struggling with this: All the love from someone on the other side. Friends can be hard to come by, but they are coming. 🖤
amazing episode but heads up ashely we’re not all white 😭😂
I think she meant statistically, the majority
😂😂😂
And thank god for that honestly. Apologies for calling you white.
Congrats on the girlfriend, Ashley! I love that you have discussed your commitment and your future and you feel so great with her. Being open is absolutely not something you need to get rid of in marriage, with kids or otherwise, but I think you know that already. Genuinely so happy for you.
I’m so happy for Ashley 🥺 gosh her relationship with main-main is exactly what I’m looking for, I feel so hopeful that I’ll find it one day. But for now, I’ll live through Ashley ♥️♥️
I love when Ashley gets emotional and cries. I just want to hug her and have long convos about emotions. But the cowboy hat stays on ❤😂
The skyline in the background is totally giving Springfield/Simpson's vibes. 😋
Yay Ashley! I'm so happy for you. You deserve all the happiness! 💜
I second this!!! So happy for her 🎉
Wow I’m not sure I’ve laughed so hard at any other episode of like anything. AND I was happy for Ashley’s relationship story AND I appreciated the parasocial(ism) talk. It’s a dark and snowy Monday night here in Sweden and you totally brought some of that Springfield sun into it
i absolutely love watching you and mak interact together. you guys make me laugh so much. i would love to see you hannah berner and the chosen family squad do a podcast together.
This is thee best conversation! I think I spend lots of hours thinking about how metacommunication, social media and parasocial relationships change culture, community, activism, and the definition of authenticity. None of it's good. Not at the root. Good things might come from it. But they aren't essential to it. If you are monetizing something, it isn't real. Yeah reach is a good byproduct. But it has such problematic repercussions for culture, period. Thanks for this transparency. It is so important!
Could you explain what do you mean by “if you monetise it it’s not real”? I am so passionate about this topic as it affects my life personally.
Monetizing something means you are selling it and an impression of yourself. You are creating an image in order to sell something. There is a really interesting documentary on Hulu about influencers. Including who is successful at it. If you weren't monetizing you wouldn't be there. That's the point. I'll try to find it and share it.
Just got done listening on Spotify and I've gotta say this ep was so lovely. Everything you talked about is fascinating to me and im so glad you really dug into parasocial relationships. It reaaaaallly makes me happy to hear you telling your listeners to find community in the real world, my real world queer friends literally make living in this world so much more bearable. We have to keep moving from persocial relationships to investment and solidarity with those close to us. 💖💖💖
I'm a black woman,30 something and straight from England. And I think this and you guys are fucking brilliant 😂
Your brilliance can be seen everywhere 😊
Your podcasts helped me so much while I was climbing out of a really dark decade. Happy to share I’m doing much better, and I have plans to move back to the city later this year, finish school, and start a career as a ct technician. I have EDS too and I’ve always wanted to work in the medical field and finally found something that my team thinks I’ll be able to do :) thanks so much for cheering me up and distracting me from the pain!
Ash calling Mak a simp after talking about mainmain for like 20 minutes and crying is perfect irony
Loved the talking hat, happy for Ashley & MainMain, Mac is hilarious. And I'm so glad you didn't use the mouth sounds as the opening clip, because the comedic timing of it was so perfect where it was!
I've been watching way more standup thanks to this podcast & the guests. Food for the mood
. Ashley, I think it's working!
Ashley yay!!! I’m so happy for you ❤ thank you for sharing & being vulnerable, you have no idea how much it really helps. I appreciate creators being open about the hard stuff and how their journeys are really going!
I got misty eyes listening to this episode, it's so sweet. I'm so happy for you, Ashley
Thanks!
its so refreshing and just amazing to see ashley talk about main main and where they're at rn
WELL DONE ASHLEY!!! CONGRATS ON FILMING THE SPECIAL🥳💗
Omg you saw my comment again! Woohoo you've made my year, by making my past 2 weeks. I can't wait for the special to come out and for you to hopefully make it over to Europe (Ireland pls lol 🙏)
Mak, ur probably not reading this but i am gonna say it anyway: i found you via TH-cam and (if that and the podcast is something u enjoy) it feels like thats something to be proud of! Ur inspiring people, u create a safe space for queers and i think thats really great!
I'm definitely here to laugh first and foremost. Maddie SLAYED with that projecting mommy issues joke. My stomach hurts 🤣
Ashley you totally brought the corn. It wasn't the crop corn and it wasn't the band korn, it was the corny corn, the super simp mushy corn that we are all here for. Huge yay for your news.
Canned corn? Niblets?
I really enjoyed the piece around commitment and having open dialogue in healthy relationships. My partner of 4 years and I recently had talk about the next step in our relationship, which is buying a place together. I couldn’t figure out why it felt so overwhelming for me and she had been trying to talk to me about it for the last 2 years and I’d be so avoidant. Finally, this past week, we had a good chat, full of tears on my end while admitting to some harmful core beliefs that I’ve been hanging on to. I do feel much lighter now.
so happy for ashley and mainmain! also i may or may not be doing a 2x speed rewatch of the last several episodes trying to figure out the mainmain timeline...
I know this podcast was shot on the road but this backdrop is great.
It totally makes sense that Mak and Brad Pitt come from the same town. If I ever made eye contact with a TH-camr in the street I have decided that I will smile and wave coyly then carry on with my day and at most, if it seems an ok time, shrink myself to the size of a bean and gently ask for an autograph then skip away like Heidi of the mountains having been given a hunk of cheese and some bread from Grandma, holding it to my heart.
31:23 YES! This! I’m so happy for you and I want that too. Feeling safe with someone is something that doesn’t even feel possible at times but hearing you talk made me so happy and hopeful
35:22 ME!!!
10000% agree with you Ashley, about how it's so much better for me to KNOW what's going on, rather than having the surprise and grand gestures element. I feel like I have so much anxiety about things I don't know already, it feels good to have your person not be someone you have to be unsure about, and the sense of safety that adds to your relationship.
vulnerability, happiness, crying, so much laughter and good conversation, what an episode!
I love your parasocial personas, community is a such a big thing
I feel like people are starting to understand how much importance it has for everyone to create a real human bond with people that are similar to them irl
We need other people to regulate our nervous system, we cannot do everything by ourselves and then call ourselves a failure when we find out we cannot
No one can do or should do everything by themselves, we need community fr
Important thing Ashley related about: monogamy doesnt always define commitment. For a lot of people, that is not what makes them committed to their partner. It’s so much more than that. And it’s so possible to feel extremely safe and in a committed relationship without monogamy.
God I love Maddie & their take on literally everything. Ashley please tell them, I know they don't like reading the comments
I especially love the piercing/ ritual chat
Great for you both Ashley. All your work is paying off. I love this show! You all make me so appreciative of your vulnerability, self depreciation and bravery!
The hat matching Ashgavs' pants had me in stitches
Maddie has so much confidence in this episode and I love that
42:02 Ashley just describes what an Markering Persona is.
A bunch of characteristics based off statistics and encounters, with a face;
Wich gives a felling of understanding your audience enough to be able to make quick decisions in regards to them.
Okay hearing the rough stats on Ashley’s audience was so interesting
I'm so glad that people like you guys exist in this world! thank you for sharing!
I'm so happy for you Ashley you deserve this so much. It's so evident you're happy. I wish you nothing but the best!!!!
I wish I could hug Mak and tell her that its her plataform, she can do whatever she wantsss with it! and also the videos that I most like of you are those where you are sharing your fits, climbing, etc...
A safe relationship! My god, that is a dream!!! I totally get everything Ashley described about safety and open conversations. Conversations require so much courage, trust and openness, and to know that if something feels wrong to a person they will talk to you, is so freeing. No mind-reading and guessing and adjusting your behavior to a fictional script in your head. Real presence!!! So glad you have that Ashley!!!
Also, although I am not into parasocially relating to people :) I deeply appreciate authenticity in any context, not because that makes me feel like now I know Ashley, but because it is real. I am curious about what is really going on with people and what is and experience or life like for others, so I am not a fan of reality shows or tik tok or other performances that don't have clear line between a performance and what's genuine. Although it can be interesting to observe how playing a certain persona can change the actual person with time, I am really grateful for vulnerability when I watch podcasts like this one.
My Top Five in this episode
Talking about parasocial relationships (viewers and creator side)
If a labeling pressures you, drop it for now and just be
The Setup and seeing everyone from one camera
Everyone having a comfortable chair
The intro scene and the gay shame outro
Well said, about personas, assumptions, and parasocial types of interactions. ( Reciprocal, individual friendships involve depth and trust.) When they were guests, too: Shaaba and Jamie also had some psychological insight regarding emotional benefits to parasocial "relationships", as well as the limits and necessary boundaries. One category was forgotten: anyone who currently needs more physical isolation, due to autoimmune/ health conditions, - or whatever reason. There are online meeting spots, video calls, and options to build communication that is a direct and/ or small group discussion, which allows people to learn and grow to know each other at an equal rate. ( Also, an audience of strangers is not part of the equation, so preserved broadcasting need not be considered. People can more likely focus on the moment than try to anticipate the many ways something can be interpreted weeks later, out of context, by a third party/anonymous audience, with their own set of unrealistic expectations and/ or pressure to appease them.)
OMG Ashley! I know so parasocial of me but I feel so genuinely joyful for you and MainMain 🌈🌟 I'm happy you're happy 😊
I'm so happy for Ashley, it made my heart smile
This episode was hilarious! I cannot express how much my soul feels like it's been revived. Honestly, thank you so much :))
Deepish but also hilarious episode. I love seeing y'all in the same room. The irl vibing off each other, (esp from Maddie and Mak as its seem new)
...Also great gay thought
For the purpose of this podcast, (statistically) feel free to consider me white, lesbian, 17-34, recently out of the closet, and wanting more gay friends ... because I love what you are doing and I don't want you worrying about the 59 year old straight white men demographic ever. You rock!
"Are they money laundering" "Youre a shady guy" I need a crime solving series with Ashley as the head.
The shade Ashley through out at the end, Chosen Family is going to be spicy on the next episode lmao
I totally get the safety of commitment and proposals being known ahead of time by all partners. My husband and I mutually decided we were both ready to get engaged and buy a house while having a good conversation in the bathtub together. We got to ring shop together and share in that excitement from the start. He still did a formal proposal when the rings came in from the shop and I didn't know when he would do it. I remember lots of people being surprised that we did it this way but to us, it was so much more special to have decided this together and mutually chosen to take that next step instead of all the guess work of one partner nervously asking and not knowing what the answer will be. I don't understand people being nervous about their decision at the stage of proposal or marriage. If you don't know for sure that it is right to do or what the person's answer will be, you aren't ready to do it. That is just my take though, everyone is valid in what they decide to be right for them. Love the pod and chosen family. ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
The conversation around parasocialism being unhealthy is interesting to hear from a group of people with a diverse career base. People are so misguided to think because they enjoy a persons content that they somehow have a connection with them. The dissonance between the amount of curated information about a person and the complete lack of a relationship with them is just so unusual and I think its a matter of respect and maturity to appreciate the art without pretending to know the artist.
happy monday!!! yay for good special audience!!
loving the new piercing vibe for Maddie, also absolutely hilarious in this video (as always)
I'm loving this combo of hosts! 😄 All of your energies play so well together ✨💕
The gay shame / mean femmes rant at the end - still laughing! 🤣🤣🤣
Someone PLEASE show Mak the desktop app scener - you can watch the same streaming service together without lag
I always listen on Spotify but had to watch this one just to see the visuals that went with the hey mamas sounds 2:44
Not Ashley perfectly describing me when she describes her fan demographic 💀
Yayyyy I’m so happy for you Ashley!!! A really good relationship really is so powerful and life changing.
This made me laugh so much today, thx
"There's nobody here-" IM HERE. ❤ I LOVE YALL MAN. I need yall to ocme back when im no longer in a conservative household. I NEED THE GAY JOKES.
Also side note- i LOVE maks hair. Idfk what it is. But its puffy and soft. MAK I LOVE YOUR HAIR
Maddie was ON FIRE this episode
I really respect Ashley’s take on open relationships, my life partner and I have the same perspective/approach.
Ohmygod those clouds! Gorgeous! 3:22
Ashley, just so you know, Korn has played in Springfield MO before! I saw them in college. 😅
I'm really glad to hear that you're happy, Ashley. I remember being worried about you when you were involved with the ballerina a while back, so it's been nice to see you happy again. I can only speak for myself, but I don't think that the details of a relationship matter nearly as much as how the people in that relationship feel about it. If it's good for them, if all parties in the relationship are continuing to learn and grow in life, if everyone feels loved, seen, and respected, the rest is nobody else's business.
This just made my day!! 😊💜
I got to see you in OKC last month. You were hilarious and Maddie totally killed it. I hope I can catch another show some time!
haha! I just realized Maddie is wearing a Bricktown Comedy Club shirt! I love it!
Jenny legit made me cry both from mild secondhand embarrassment for her son because his mom was was so drunk and loud but also from just how much that woman truly loves her son and wants his happiness. I love to see people with supportive parents. Everyone deserves a mom like Jenny.
ASHLEYYYY THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! I genuinely look up to you so much and watching you find such an amazing relationship gives me so much hope and joy!!
Howdy, love the "stetson of truth",giddyup! 🐎
Happy monday everyone ❤️ this made my day 🥰😁
LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS EPISODE!!!!! Thank you all for your vulnerability and I'm just so incredibly grateful for each of you!
Ashley, being serious, I am so f*cking happy for you and Main Main. You deserve it. She deserves it. It is so heartwarming to hear and be able to see that you are that happy. 💙💙
You made me cry Ashley. So happy to know you feel so safe with your loved one.
Woo! Got my ticket for the show, can't wait. The last one was so much fun!
Mak whatever stuff you’re passionate about, other people will also love because they can see how excited and happy it makes you. I know TikTok is more of a persona type but perhaps on TH-cam and other things (whatever the secret thing coming up is) you could try injecting your passions into it more and I swear it will do well because everyone loves watching things people are passionate about
I just got out of an LDR and that 3.2.1 comment hit me in my soul 😂😂🥲
Ashley I am so so happy for you and so excited for your future! You and mainmainbabes’ relationship sounds so wonderful and healthy and I’m just overall so proud of you and happy
Heyo, just to be an anomaly in your fab club Ashley, I’m a 15 year old mixed race baby gay from the Uk. I love your content, and Mak’s, and Maddie’s, and I’ve been following every episode of Chosen Family. Thankyou for this stuff, please keep preaching, from some rando anomaly fan🥰
Here for the cowboy hat representation- shit is magic
When Ashley said, " I just feel so safe."
Without even thinking I went, "ew, god." Pure disgust, didn't even mean to.
And that got me further in touch with my own bullshit than the last 10 years of therapy.