1. Consistency 2. High level of communication 3. Presence & being accounted for 4. Remember to bring back 5. Doing traditional things 6. Showing friends 7. No regression 8. Not all about sex 9. Genuine efforts
Different Attachment styles move at different paces. Anxiously Attached people want to move super quick while Dismissive Avoidant types will move much much slower. Main thing is to have a conversation around this as to not personalize anything and try to find a happy middle ground that works for both
What absolutely annoys me about attachment theory having become mainstream is that people explain EVERYTHING through attachment theory even when it has nothing to do with it. The same thing happened when personality disorder went mainstream a few years ago: everyone is now either a narcissist or a borderline personality, and everyone is severely mentally ill save for the person armchair diagnosing them. Same happened when Tourette’s and DID went mainstream: everyone now has multiple personalities or can excuse their foul mouth by saying they have Tourette’s. Doesn’t text often? Definitely a dismissive avoidant, can’t just be not that much into you. Tells you they need you to text more often? For sure anxious preoccupied, couldn’t just be setting boundaries. Obviously likes you but takes things slow? Why, that’s typical fearful avoidant behaviour, it can’t just be that they believe they are onto something and is just trying to ensure both people feel comfortable and not pressured. Everyone has their own pace, independent of their attachment style. There are perfectly secure people who go fast simply because, without rushing, the boxes are being checked at a fast pace, and perfectly secure people who take things real slow because they enjoy pausing at every step of progress and take in the awesome new phenomenon they just discovered. There are dismissive avoidants who go fast because they don’t want to waste time before they find someone who is comfortable with their dismissive side, and anxious preoccupied folk who are aware of how going too fast can ruin their chances of getting attached. What do you make of fearful avoidants, then? Do they go fast? Do they go slow? We are not clones of only four individuals, or of twelve individuals if you believe in astrology, or of sixteen individuals if you believe in Myers-Briggs types.
This is so amazing and such an eye-opener! I used to focus on this one guy before watching this video. I thought he was just slow, but now, I think he could potentially be just not that into me, and that is fine. I am now more open to replying to other guys. Thank you, Mark!
-I will share things about my life photos childhood memories etc -I wouldn’t be afraid to introduce him to my people even if it’s through a phone call while he is with me -I would share my passions with him things I like to do -I would make sure to always give my best self -I would make sure to always look my best around him
What if he does all these things and more but also says he's not ready for a serious relationship? I think slow is good for us both. He's been consistent, attentive, kind and respectful. IMO I think he's scared of being burned just going off our conversations, as am I. Slow is good. I'm in no rush and just enjoying each other's company. So far he's been the opposite of every man I've ever dated in the best ways.
He calls you. He asks you out. He wants to see you. He buys you romantic gifts. He wants to introduce you to his family He wants to hold your hand. He wants to do PDA all the time. He wants to introduce you to his friends. He wants to do all of the above for the rest of his life by proposing to you, marrying you. If he is not doing any of the 9 above, he is not into you. He's just a f..k boy and leading you on. Move on! Next! He's not The One!
If I'm not into a guy I simple tell him,you're handsome,sexy,smart but it's just not clicking for me,I don't want to waste your time nor mine so we need to part ways.I won't play with anyone's heart...
Me and my new husband started very slow…. I believe he was looking for a relationship… I was just enjoying spending time with him. He was very patience with me…. And eventually the relationship developed into the best relationship of my life.
So glad I found this video! All the signs you listed apply to the guy I've been spending time with.. He's very shy and it feels like he's playing it cool and casual yet I get the feeling there's more and this video actually lists the things he's doing.. Thank u. 🙏
1. He's consistent.✔❌ 2. High level of communication with you.✔ 3. He is present and he is accounted for.✔❌ 4. He remembers and repeats things you've said.✔ 5. He's not afraid to be traditional.✔ 6. He doesn't hide friends intro's.✔ 7. No backwards progression.✔❌ 8. He's not all about the sex.✔ 9. He puts in genuine effort.✔ He's consistently non communicating when he's on the road. Talks when I call but rarely calls me. When we are together, not nearly enough, he does communicate very well. When we are together, he is 100% dialed in. He's accounted for because I know he's working or doing errands for his elderly mother. We trust each other. He remembers everything! He's not afraid to be traditional. And I've met a few of his friends and most of his family. There is no backwards progression, kind of. We aren't together as much now as we were. His work is major part of reason. And remodeling his home is other. I guess that's for us but I'd like to fit in his schedule somewhere. He is definitely not all about the sex. Nor am I. But.... He does nice unexpected things for me, which is not only sweet but nice to know someone is thinking of you. We're an older couple and I just feel time is a wasting for us.
Never be with a man who does not put you as priority #1. It is a reflection of you. Not him. You are not putting yourself as priority #1 by settling for a a man who does not prioritize you. If he is really into you, if he really loves you, no amount of work, no renovations urgent enough, no mountain high enough, no river wide enough to prevent him from calling you everyday, to want to see you. Why are you settling? Do you love yourself? If you love yourself, you would not settle for someone who does not love you. Be honest, does this man love you? You know the answer to that. Now, move on. Find The One. Not just any one man. The One. Go!
Sorry to chime in but he sounds pretty good and if he is basically accounted for it sounds like he is just very busy. If he remembers everything and you have 100% when you are together you are killing it!!! Hope things work out!!!
@eyestosee2807 not soo easy when you're my age. Not many prospects out there. The majority are drunks, druggies, divorced for a good reason, too controlling, too set in their ways, or wanna be playboys, etc.
I had a chance to be in a relationship romantic. I met a guy at the camp everything was fine the chemistry seems was here. Later I realize he never like me wasn't into me, because well find another girl, who match him better than me and break up with me. Said he didn't like my personality. Told, that with her is funny to talk than with me...I think he never loved me and well he was just like me. Does: "I like you" means: "I love you." I don't think it was genuine feelings, because he was move so quickly. I feel, that I met a narcissist, because say, that like me, but never did.
@@rezotydnic Thank you so much for your kind words! Glad to hear my video was helpful to you and provided some clarity. If there's anything else you'd like me to cover in the future, please don't hesitate to let me know. Thanks again for watching! xx
whenever i really like someone and go slow im not like this at all. so girls dont take these things too seriously especially with special guys, i dont say special is good but more like unique type guys u know
He's less consistent in his communication after the 5 years we've talked back and forth. I have never met any of his friends and family but he has yet to meet mine either
Thank you, Mark. Your video gives me hope. I’ve only met this guy once and we had a great time. We live one and a half hour apart, so it’s hard to meet more often. He’s doing two of the things you mention and I don’t know what to think. Yes, he’s been hurt and is very cautious… But he never initiated a text, although he then always replies and is very kind and friendly. So far we’ve only been chatting via Messenger. We’ve met on a dating app and he’s been checking out my profile on the app frequently over the past few days… Not sure why but this also gives me hope that he may like me… I don’t know what to think or do… 😢 Any advice? I’d do appreciate it…
Hey Stefania, I'm glad to hear that my video gave you hope! It's great that you had a great time with this guy when you met and that he's been showing some positive signs. It's also understandable that you may be unsure about what to think or do next. It's important to remember that everyone has their own pace when it comes to communication and relationships. While he may not initiate texts, it's a good sign that he always replies and is kind and friendly. The fact that he's been checking out your profile frequently on the dating app could also be a sign that he's interested in you. My advice would be to continue chatting with him and getting to know him better. You could also suggest meeting up again in person if the distance allows for it. However, it's also important to not put too much pressure on the situation and to trust your instincts. If it feels right, go for it, but if it doesn't, then it's okay to take a step back. If you want to learn more, click the link the description. All the best! x
As always, thank you so much for your kind words, Viji! I'm glad that my video resonated with you and that you found the points helpful for your relationship. It's always great to hear when my content can make a positive impact. Hope you have a great day as well! Take care of yourself! x
*Off topic* I think you've said that you used to be a male entertainer. I really wish I could afford to talk to you. I've watched many of your videos (and others), and one thing I keep thinking is that most/some male strippers are very different from "average" men. So they don't always fit the mold of what these videos say about men. They're much more comfortable with women, they know all the right things to do and say to make a woman feel special and fabulous, and they literally have women all over them all the time. So how do you know if a man like that is truly interested in you, or if he's just playing his game?
If a guy says to u he is comfortable talking with u an after that he asks u to show him something nicecan u refuse then he say he doesn't think you're ready for a relationship but we can be good friends without benefits what should u think
I was dating a guy who did all this but on the 9th date openly used a dating app in front of me and said he was keeping his options open until he is 100% sure about someone as the last time he said how he felt to a girl and wanted to commit, he got rejected…He said he wasn’t sure about me and hasn’t been since the 3rd date
I'd dump him. He didn't even hide it. Don't let him BS you about his confusion / past reject. If true, he shouldn't be dating. By 6 to 8 dates, he knows.
I'm sorry to hear that you had that experience with the guy you were dating. That sucks! It's understandable to feel hurt and confused when someone you're seeing is not fully committed to you. If you like to talk more about how we can work together to set healthy boundaries and find someone who is truly deserving of your love and affection, link in the video description. xx
Sorry that's happening Hush. Thanks for watching my video - hope to catch you in my Queens Club Community in the future! www.skool.com/qclub/ We can help you out more there xx
I met a new guy last week and we have talking since, was showing interest to know me but since last four days he has vanished, no contact since. what can be the reason?
I meant previously did u colour ur hair.a.lighter shade. I met someone who looks like u, with a lighter blonde colour of hair like if u went to the beach many days n it blonded ur hair.
Need your help on this! There's this one guy that works at this one store and if I don't go there for a few weeks he's wondering where I've been and the past week he said to me if I come next week you wonder why I'm not here I'm off next week. Is he interested in me or no? This has never happened before
Heya Katti, it sounds like this guy at the store is definitely showing some interest in you. The fact that he notices when you haven't been in for a while and even mentioned his upcoming schedule to you could be a sign that he's trying to create opportunities to see you. However, it's important to remember that every person is different and it's possible that he's just being friendly. If you're interested in him, you could try striking up a conversation and getting to know him better. See if he seems receptive and engaged in the conversation. If he does, it could be a good sign that he's interested in you too. Just remember to be yourself and not to overthink things too much. xx
Hope you guys enjoy the video
1. Consistency
2. High level of communication
3. Presence & being accounted for
4. Remember to bring back
5. Doing traditional things
6. Showing friends
7. No regression
8. Not all about sex
9. Genuine efforts
Just wanted to give a shout-out to the birds setting a good ambience. 🤙
Yeah!!! 🙌🙌 LOL
Ah we are women NOT birds I hate that description of women maybe women should call men knobs
Different Attachment styles move at different paces. Anxiously Attached people want to move super quick while Dismissive Avoidant types will move much much slower. Main thing is to have a conversation around this as to not personalize anything and try to find a happy middle ground that works for both
What absolutely annoys me about attachment theory having become mainstream is that people explain EVERYTHING through attachment theory even when it has nothing to do with it. The same thing happened when personality disorder went mainstream a few years ago: everyone is now either a narcissist or a borderline personality, and everyone is severely mentally ill save for the person armchair diagnosing them. Same happened when Tourette’s and DID went mainstream: everyone now has multiple personalities or can excuse their foul mouth by saying they have Tourette’s.
Doesn’t text often? Definitely a dismissive avoidant, can’t just be not that much into you. Tells you they need you to text more often? For sure anxious preoccupied, couldn’t just be setting boundaries. Obviously likes you but takes things slow? Why, that’s typical fearful avoidant behaviour, it can’t just be that they believe they are onto something and is just trying to ensure both people feel comfortable and not pressured.
Everyone has their own pace, independent of their attachment style. There are perfectly secure people who go fast simply because, without rushing, the boxes are being checked at a fast pace, and perfectly secure people who take things real slow because they enjoy pausing at every step of progress and take in the awesome new phenomenon they just discovered. There are dismissive avoidants who go fast because they don’t want to waste time before they find someone who is comfortable with their dismissive side, and anxious preoccupied folk who are aware of how going too fast can ruin their chances of getting attached. What do you make of fearful avoidants, then? Do they go fast? Do they go slow?
We are not clones of only four individuals, or of twelve individuals if you believe in astrology, or of sixteen individuals if you believe in Myers-Briggs types.
If I close my eyes you are like the Steve Irwin of the dating world. Thank you it feels safe 😅
This is so amazing and such an eye-opener! I used to focus on this one guy before watching this video. I thought he was just slow, but now, I think he could potentially be just not that into me, and that is fine. I am now more open to replying to other guys. Thank you, Mark!
Nice one! Glad the video helped you :D
-I will share things about my life photos childhood memories etc
-I wouldn’t be afraid to introduce him to my people even if it’s through a phone call while he is with me
-I would share my passions with him things I like to do
-I would make sure to always give my best self
-I would make sure to always look my best around him
I feel like I was not looking for a relationship and did not have guys on my radar. Then someone came along and I feel way more invested already 🙄
What if he does all these things and more but also says he's not ready for a serious relationship? I think slow is good for us both. He's been consistent, attentive, kind and respectful. IMO I think he's scared of being burned just going off our conversations, as am I. Slow is good. I'm in no rush and just enjoying each other's company. So far he's been the opposite of every man I've ever dated in the best ways.
literally my situation :( I don't know what to do..
They are saying they don't want to be in a serious relationship. Believe them. If you want to be in a serious relationship, find someone who does.
He calls you.
He asks you out.
He wants to see you.
He buys you romantic gifts.
He wants to introduce you to his family
He wants to hold your hand.
He wants to do PDA all the time.
He wants to introduce you to his friends.
He wants to do all of the above for the rest of his life by proposing to you, marrying you.
If he is not doing any of the 9 above, he is not into you. He's just a f..k boy and leading you on. Move on! Next! He's not The One!
I disagree on the PDA. That’s nonsense. Mature adults who are secure in their commitment understand that PDA is neither becoming nor necessary.
If I'm not into a guy I simple tell him,you're handsome,sexy,smart but it's just not clicking for me,I don't want to waste your time nor mine so we need to part ways.I won't play with anyone's heart...
Me and my new husband started very slow…. I believe he was looking for a relationship… I was just enjoying spending time with him. He was very patience with me…. And eventually the relationship developed into the best relationship of my life.
This is beautiful…Congratulations❤️🙏🏾
I love the white Butterflies in the background! :)
So glad I found this video! All the signs you listed apply to the guy I've been spending time with.. He's very shy and it feels like he's playing it cool and casual yet I get the feeling there's more and this video actually lists the things he's doing.. Thank u. 🙏
You're so welcome! Glad it was helpful :)
1. He's consistent.✔❌
2. High level of communication with you.✔
3. He is present and he is accounted for.✔❌
4. He remembers and repeats things you've said.✔
5. He's not afraid to be traditional.✔
6. He doesn't hide friends intro's.✔
7. No backwards progression.✔❌
8. He's not all about the sex.✔
9. He puts in genuine effort.✔
He's consistently non communicating when he's on the road. Talks when I call but rarely calls me. When we are together, not nearly enough, he does communicate very well. When we are together, he is 100% dialed in. He's accounted for because I know he's working or doing errands for his elderly mother. We trust each other. He remembers everything! He's not afraid to be traditional. And I've met a few of his friends and most of his family. There is no backwards progression, kind of. We aren't together as much now as we were. His work is major part of reason. And remodeling his home is other. I guess that's for us but I'd like to fit in his schedule somewhere. He is definitely not all about the sex. Nor am I. But....
He does nice unexpected things for me, which is not only sweet but nice to know someone is thinking of you.
We're an older couple and I just feel time is a wasting for us.
Never be with a man who does not put you as priority #1. It is a reflection of you. Not him. You are not putting yourself as priority #1 by settling for a a man who does not prioritize you. If he is really into you, if he really loves you, no amount of work, no renovations urgent enough, no mountain high enough, no river wide enough to prevent him from calling you everyday, to want to see you.
Why are you settling? Do you love yourself? If you love yourself, you would not settle for someone who does not love you. Be honest, does this man love you? You know the answer to that. Now, move on. Find The One. Not just any one man. The One. Go!
@@KA-eu9sy I appreciate your advice. But it's not soo simple/cut and dry when you are in your 60's.
Sorry to chime in but he sounds pretty good and if he is basically accounted for it sounds like he is just very busy. If he remembers everything and you have 100% when you are together you are killing it!!! Hope things work out!!!
@@imperialthreat me as well😊
@eyestosee2807 not soo easy when you're my age. Not many prospects out there. The majority are drunks, druggies, divorced for a good reason, too controlling, too set in their ways, or wanna be playboys, etc.
Thanks. That shirt is Rad🎉
When I take things slow, I don’t respond when a guy hints about his intentions with me or future plans. I stay neutral
I had a chance to be in a relationship romantic. I met a guy at the camp everything was fine the chemistry seems was here. Later I realize he never like me wasn't into me, because well find another girl, who match him better than me and break up with me. Said he didn't like my personality. Told, that with her is funny to talk than with me...I think he never loved me and well he was just like me. Does: "I like you" means: "I love you." I don't think it was genuine feelings, because he was move so quickly. I feel, that I met a narcissist, because say, that like me, but never did.
Mark! Love the shirt!
Awww thank you, Felicia! x
He’s INTO ME! Thanks
Thanks Mark I really appreciate it!!!!😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Sounds like something of interest to me!
Excited for this one
@@Markrosenfeld this video did not disappoint. Brought some clarity for me. Thank you ❤😊
@@rezotydnic Thank you so much for your kind words! Glad to hear my video was helpful to you and provided some clarity. If there's anything else you'd like me to cover in the future, please don't hesitate to let me know. Thanks again for watching! xx
@@Markrosenfeld thank you 😊
Awesome.. 😊❤ I got the point
Needed to hear this. Thank you , xx
Thanks your video gave me wings 🎉 all the best
whenever i really like someone and go slow im not like this at all. so girls dont take these things too seriously especially with special guys, i dont say special is good but more like unique type guys u know
He's less consistent in his communication after the 5 years we've talked back and forth. I have never met any of his friends and family but he has yet to meet mine either
Sure, stick around for another 5 years and see what will change. Nothing. Move on sister or you will have wasted 10 years of your life.
5 YEARS?!!!!!
Thank you, Mark. Your video gives me hope. I’ve only met this guy once and we had a great time. We live one and a half hour apart, so it’s hard to meet more often. He’s doing two of the things you mention and I don’t know what to think. Yes, he’s been hurt and is very cautious… But he never initiated a text, although he then always replies and is very kind and friendly. So far we’ve only been chatting via Messenger. We’ve met on a dating app and he’s been checking out my profile on the app frequently over the past few days… Not sure why but this also gives me hope that he may like me… I don’t know what to think or do… 😢
Any advice? I’d do appreciate it…
Hey Stefania, I'm glad to hear that my video gave you hope! It's great that you had a great time with this guy when you met and that he's been showing some positive signs. It's also understandable that you may be unsure about what to think or do next. It's important to remember that everyone has their own pace when it comes to communication and relationships. While he may not initiate texts, it's a good sign that he always replies and is kind and friendly. The fact that he's been checking out your profile frequently on the dating app could also be a sign that he's interested in you. My advice would be to continue chatting with him and getting to know him better. You could also suggest meeting up again in person if the distance allows for it. However, it's also important to not put too much pressure on the situation and to trust your instincts. If it feels right, go for it, but if it doesn't, then it's okay to take a step back. If you want to learn more, click the link the description.
All the best! x
@@Markrosenfeld thank you so much for taking the time to reply! I was not expecting that, as almost nobody else does… I appreciate it! 😊
Amazing work and dive deeper.
Excellent video 🎉
Beautiful video Mark thanks so much for these spl points really needed for relationship 🙏 take care have a great day 😊💯
As always, thank you so much for your kind words, Viji! I'm glad that my video resonated with you and that you found the points helpful for your relationship. It's always great to hear when my content can make a positive impact. Hope you have a great day as well! Take care of yourself! x
See, I watch this to give myself real talk that he ISN’T that into me
YES SAME
*Off topic* I think you've said that you used to be a male entertainer. I really wish I could afford to talk to you. I've watched many of your videos (and others), and one thing I keep thinking is that most/some male strippers are very different from "average" men. So they don't always fit the mold of what these videos say about men. They're much more comfortable with women, they know all the right things to do and say to make a woman feel special and fabulous, and they literally have women all over them all the time. So how do you know if a man like that is truly interested in you, or if he's just playing his game?
If a guy says to u he is comfortable talking with u an after that he asks u to show him something nicecan u refuse then he say he doesn't think you're ready for a relationship but we can be good friends without benefits what should u think
I was dating a guy who did all this but on the 9th date openly used a dating app in front of me and said he was keeping his options open until he is 100% sure about someone as the last time he said how he felt to a girl and wanted to commit, he got rejected…He said he wasn’t sure about me and hasn’t been since the 3rd date
I'd dump him. He didn't even hide it. Don't let him BS you about his confusion / past reject. If true, he shouldn't be dating. By 6 to 8 dates, he knows.
I'm sorry to hear that you had that experience with the guy you were dating. That sucks! It's understandable to feel hurt and confused when someone you're seeing is not fully committed to you. If you like to talk more about how we can work together to set healthy boundaries and find someone who is truly deserving of your love and affection, link in the video description. xx
My guy is not doing a single thing and he asks me to be cool about it.
Sorry that's happening Hush. Thanks for watching my video - hope to catch you in my Queens Club Community in the future! www.skool.com/qclub/ We can help you out more there xx
I must be the luckiest woman in this world ❤❤❤
I met a new guy last week and we have talking since, was showing interest to know me but since last four days he has vanished, no contact since. what can be the reason?
What about for people that talk long distance?
Thank you😅
Flirty texts❤
Being that man will be called loser
Is that ur natural hair colour, was ur hair colour a lighter shade previously?
I have not!
I meant previously did u colour ur hair.a.lighter shade. I met someone who looks like u, with a lighter blonde colour of hair like if u went to the beach many days n it blonded ur hair.
I added a reply ut dusappeared. Have u been in Canada?
Need your help on this! There's this one guy that works at this one store and if I don't go there for a few weeks he's wondering where I've been and the past week he said to me if I come next week you wonder why I'm not here I'm off next week. Is he interested in me or no? This has never happened before
Heya Katti, it sounds like this guy at the store is definitely showing some interest in you. The fact that he notices when you haven't been in for a while and even mentioned his upcoming schedule to you could be a sign that he's trying to create opportunities to see you. However, it's important to remember that every person is different and it's possible that he's just being friendly. If you're interested in him, you could try striking up a conversation and getting to know him better. See if he seems receptive and engaged in the conversation. If he does, it could be a good sign that he's interested in you too. Just remember to be yourself and not to overthink things too much. xx
Slow? He got engaged with another woman.
So interesting
Glad you liked it, Margaret. Thanks so much! x
What if he did all of these things for several months and then he ended up saying he is not ready for a relationship and ghosted after lol ??
He doesn’t want you duh
So…he’s not into me, is what you are saying..
Sounds like it? :\ Sorry for the bad news hah
May I talk to ya?
Sure! mark@makehimyours.com.au
How to know a girl isn’t into you: you’ve got a man bun
He’s doing all of these things except for I have not met his friends but it’s been 3 weeks.
That's still quite early - I hope it continues to progress for you guys