I love that Iyanla gives women the power to feel okay with leaving a relationship that is not working or that's destructive. Lots of people try to make you feel guilt for wanting to leave when leaving is the best thing for all parties involved.
I know some people will come for me on this comment but I think early on some of us are taught to be loyal to relationships that don’t serve us and we don’t want to serve it no longer due to the circumstance.
I find the hardest thing is to be calm before and in order to have the conversation. I usually wait till I am so upset and hurt, with very little own clarity in order to have a hard conversation. Having this will help me know there is an option to deal with it constructively. Thank you x
I pray for Auntie Iyanla daily! I am embedded in bettering myself daily so I spend a tremendous amount of time listening to her videos as they are the free and eye opening therapy I need to pull myself through some difficult times! Iyanla, I thank you for rebuilding my strength, courage, and helping me to unpack my hurts. I freaking love you!!!
I know this isn't meant to be funny but I'm cracking up over here! "Foot odor problem. I would like you to see the podiatrist" lol "Beating the dog" lol! Love you, Iyanla :) Great advice, as usual.
God didn’t promise that the rain wasn’t going to be there , but he did promise light , healing and strength. Angel Iyanla you are one of God promises. I appreciate you transparent soul
Thank you so much for doing these episodes. you really explain these crucial lessons so well, in a way that i always feel i completely understand what you're teaching and why its an important lesson for me. Thank you for giving and sharing your wisdom in such a powerful way. much love!!!
This episode of the R Spot was truly suiting for me today. Iyanla never fails to deliver a great message 💛. I remember watching the episode of Iyanla's apology on Oprah. She was brave, and spoke clearly. Iyanla has always been an inspiration to me. Also loving the new intro and outro. Nicely done!
Thank you so much for this education. It has equipped me to tackle a hard discussion in my life and I'm so thankful for your ability to make the information clear, digestible and executable. Thank you with love.
I absolutely adore you and your gift. You are such a necessary componat in building and growing yourself, especially in a relationship. Blessings and luv
I needed to hear this! My father just died November 30, 2021 and my brothers and aunt LOST THEIR DAMN MINDS!!! I'm suffering stomach pain, anger all day, head aches, and sadness. I'm yelling in the phone at my brother's while at work, suffering disappointment about my aunt's cruel words that I'VE HEARD her speak! Family info that I never knew is flying into my face that it hurts! I'm flabbergasted by the info, death of my dad, and the fighting that I thought would never take place in my family over a death! I was wrong!
@iyanlavanzant ...Your advice always leaves me knowing who is real in my life. Mostly everything I've tried listening to you left me alone and abandoned and neglected by men in my life that I loved but didn't love me the same way back (At least I know right)?. I'm doing the work to understand why I'm attracting the men with pride, ego and control issues. I mean really the 1st serious conversation I have with them results in them always offended, defensive and feeling like I'm trying to "get them together" when I'm trying to resolve a issue. And yes mam, their crazy reactions makes me crazy then we end up not resolving anything and here they come back several months later. I gotta dead this pathology! It's wearing me out emotionally!! Thanks for this video, I just have to use this on people who don't come with so much baggage !
I really like you because..... 1. Your way of teaching is very interesting. I wanna learn it. 2.You are an amazing coach..I hope my relationship with my bf would work out this time. I thank God to lead me to your channel. You are an angel. I really wanna meet u personally. I cried today coz your words touched my heart,tears of happiness. Long live,woman! PS:Is there any way I can buy your books??
have had a few hard conversations with a friend....or maybe i should write "friend." this person is neglectful...i can put up with a lot, im not like some people that are like "forget this person!" I tend to try many times to make stuff work, even if deep down i know things are as good as they are gonna ever be. Well a few hard conversations later, where each would take at minimum 1 hour, im at a point where i have to ask myself if i want to be finding myself being in these kinds of situations with this "friend" anymore. Im finding that this person just doesnt have the emotional maturity that im needing and i find myself feeling sad and depressed and anxious on a weekly basis. Its as if my friend will act friendly one day, and then treat me like i dont exist the next day...the mind games are too much for me and while i talk about it with him....i'm at a point where i feel talking is not going to accomplish anything and that he is just going to be how he is no matter what. I'm already thinking about how to tell him that i no longer wish to put any effort in him anymore. I even feel it might be better i just cut him out completely without even telling him goodbye, like say hi one day and the next day cease all and every form of communication between him. From what i know about him, it wont bother him at all.
I never leave comments, but I felt the need to reply to you. I've had the betrayal of my life from a male "friend" whom I trusted and deeply loved. I don't know the specifics of your situation, but I abide by a simple rule that keeps me feeling like I make good decisions: say everything you have to say. Give the person the knowledge they would need to make amends or to learn a lesson. You're not responsible for that person's reaction-- my "friend" did not respond to me in a way that I thought was fair at all. But I chose to say everything as my way of honoring the friendship that I had given to him. And it helped me to walk away with more ease, and dare I say, satisfaction, knowing that there was nothing I had left undone. I would have the conversation if I were you, but either way, good job getting away from a person who is spiritually misaligned with you. I had the same feelings of sadness/anxiety surrounding that "friend" when I was still deluding myself that he and I could maintain a friendship. On this side of things, it's clear to see that spiritually, we had no business being around each other lol. He didn't have the same relationship to the truth that I have, and that was truly at the root of our breakdown, though that showed itself in many forms.
I love you Iyanla and have introduce allot of people to your teachings. Please how can I become a guest on your show or be in the audience on your next appearance on Oprah show. Thank you in advance
I stayed until 3am this is not gonna change and my life is in danger." I've been there with family it's no joke ... My sister took me through hell she and her daughter and I'm a man.
With loving 'intention' I concur, but I didn't want to say anything since hearing it on episode one of this season. The vocals are substandard to say the least.
Now Beloved, what happens if I like the song? This is a beautiful young sister (19) who is really trying to make her way. I want to support her and . . . it may not be Mary J but, I like the song. Let us be mindful about what we say/write, when we don't know who is looking or listening. I promised her I would use it and I did. Some young people just need a leg up.
Yeah...what if they don't want to talk to you about If they have Herpes 1 or 2. Asking them if closeness equals an incurable lifelong contagious disease. BE CLEAR!
"Never judge your clarity on how the other person responds." Oh, hallelujah! Thank you, Iyanla.
Being a black male, I think, Im certain that more men need to study these messages! I'm open to learning more about relationships and elopement.
I love that Iyanla gives women the power to feel okay with leaving a relationship that is not working or that's destructive. Lots of people try to make you feel guilt for wanting to leave when leaving is the best thing for all parties involved.
I know some people will come for me on this comment but I think early on some of us are taught to be loyal to relationships that don’t serve us and we don’t want to serve it no longer due to the circumstance.
I love that the R spots are getting longer haha. You can never get to much of ms. iyanla.
It's hurtful when others dismiss your feelings.
charlita25 yes it happens to me so I know how u feel
charlita25 That happens, especially since sin had entered the world from Adam and Eve's time and live in a wicked world.
@@BossladyInRealLife I agree
That Oprah episode changed a lot of people's lives because it opened the door for you to be on OWN. I'm so glad you did that!
Iyanla Vanzant is a true blessing
I find the hardest thing is to be calm before and in order to have the conversation. I usually wait till I am so upset and hurt, with very little own clarity in order to have a hard conversation. Having this will help me know there is an option to deal with it constructively. Thank you x
I pray for Auntie Iyanla daily! I am embedded in bettering myself daily so I spend a tremendous amount of time listening to her videos as they are the free and eye opening therapy I need to pull myself through some difficult times! Iyanla, I thank you for rebuilding my strength, courage, and helping me to unpack my hurts. I freaking love you!!!
This is definitely a great episode to watch prior to having those hard conversations. Clear. Clean. Complete. Compassionate... Thanks for sharing!
"Care-frontation," I love it!!!
being clear about intention is key for me. needed this
Clear, clean, and complete
CLEAN. CLEAR. COMPLETE. Why are those three words so hard? Getting those three things in order could really change outcomes.
I know this isn't meant to be funny but I'm cracking up over here! "Foot odor problem. I would like you to see the podiatrist" lol "Beating the dog" lol! Love you, Iyanla :)
Great advice, as usual.
Clear (and committed), clean, complete with compassion (feminine energy) in 20 words or less. Intention and timing are so essential.
I remember the Oprah episode it was amazing to see two women having hard conversation on National TV.
God bless you Iyanla!!
I really feel a connection with you Iyanla, you have been a blessing and helped me a lot
God didn’t promise that the rain wasn’t going to be there , but he did promise light , healing and strength. Angel Iyanla you are one of God promises. I appreciate you transparent soul
Be clear, don't blame and get it to the point (no stories) and make requests clear and specific. This was for me!! Thank you.
Loving the t-shirts Iyanla is wearing, and the message as usual is on point!
thank you darlin...this is so helpful for me..looking forward to the next episode!
Thank you so much for doing these episodes. you really explain these crucial lessons so well, in a way that i always feel i completely understand what you're teaching and why its an important lesson for me. Thank you for giving and sharing your wisdom in such a powerful way. much love!!!
This episode of the R Spot was truly suiting for me today. Iyanla never fails to deliver a great message 💛. I remember watching the episode of Iyanla's apology on Oprah. She was brave, and spoke clearly. Iyanla has always been an inspiration to me. Also loving the new intro and outro. Nicely done!
thank you Iyanla. i tried having a hard coversation with my sister last night and it didnt go well. i needed this!
Thank you so much for this education. It has equipped me to tackle a hard discussion in my life and I'm so thankful for your ability to make the information clear, digestible and executable. Thank you with love.
Always be loving which includes being honest and sincere.
I did this recently it went well the person replied "woaw" shocked it was coming from me, it was difficult but it had to be done. Thank you Iyanla!!
The Oprah episode is my favorite and I share it often with my clients! Thank you
I love you and your show, thank you for everything.
Thanks for the wisdom Iyanla
Always great words of advice encouragement and truth! Thanks for beingh such a great inspiration
I absolutely adore you and your gift. You are such a necessary componat in building and growing yourself, especially in a relationship.
Blessings and luv
Thanks mommy, I'm planning to have this kind of conversation you are talking about but I never knew how to start, thanks for sharing your ideas mommy.
Shani Roeber , hei r u referring to me if so no problem we can talk.
Thank you 😊. This episode is such a blessing!
Our Boss Lady of Living Listening & Loving in " Your Truth Effectively ". Shalom my Sister.
I needed to hear this! My father just died November 30, 2021 and my brothers and aunt LOST THEIR DAMN MINDS!!! I'm suffering stomach pain, anger all day, head aches, and sadness. I'm yelling in the phone at my brother's while at work, suffering disappointment about my aunt's cruel words that I'VE HEARD her speak! Family info that I never knew is flying into my face that it hurts! I'm flabbergasted by the info, death of my dad, and the fighting that I thought would never take place in my family over a death! I was wrong!
@iyanlavanzant ...Your advice always leaves me knowing who is real in my life. Mostly everything I've tried listening to you left me alone and abandoned and neglected by men in my life that I loved but didn't love me the same way back (At least I know right)?.
I'm doing the work to understand why I'm attracting the men with pride, ego and control issues. I mean really the 1st serious conversation I have with them results in them always offended, defensive and feeling like I'm trying to "get them together" when I'm trying to resolve a issue. And yes mam, their crazy reactions makes me crazy then we end up not resolving anything and here they come back several months later. I gotta dead this pathology! It's wearing me out emotionally!! Thanks for this video, I just have to use this on people who don't come with so much baggage !
This works only if your partner is mature and WANTS to make things better too!
You're not doing it for them or to change them, you are doing it for you. How they respond is not the main point.
I really like you because.....
1. Your way of teaching is very interesting. I wanna learn it.
2.You are an amazing coach..I hope my relationship with my bf would work out this time.
I thank God to lead me to your channel. You are an angel. I really wanna meet u personally. I cried today coz your words touched my heart,tears of happiness. Long live,woman!
PS:Is there any way I can buy your books??
I love the part about what hard conversations are NOT.
I had that hard conversation his ignorance was shown. choose to leave not to talk.
Thank you Iyanla, I really needed this today, your words have actually helped me a lot. Lots of love over your way, to me you are an angel.... xxx
thank you be blessed love your teachings Amsterdam Holland sends love and care..
Love this one!
I Love you, Iyanla. God Bless :)
This is right on time!
Thank you, Goddess Iyanla.
I love your vlogs Iyanla. Thank you for all this! :)
❤️❤️❤️ Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
However good topic Iyanla.
Iyanla... I love you!
have had a few hard conversations with a friend....or maybe i should write "friend."
this person is neglectful...i can put up with a lot, im not like some people that are like "forget this person!" I tend to try many times to make stuff work, even if deep down i know things are as good as they are gonna ever be. Well a few hard conversations later, where each would take at minimum 1 hour, im at a point where i have to ask myself if i want to be finding myself being in these kinds of situations with this "friend" anymore. Im finding that this person just doesnt have the emotional maturity that im needing and i find myself feeling sad and depressed and anxious on a weekly basis. Its as if my friend will act friendly one day, and then treat me like i dont exist the next day...the mind games are too much for me and while i talk about it with him....i'm at a point where i feel talking is not going to accomplish anything and that he is just going to be how he is no matter what. I'm already thinking about how to tell him that i no longer wish to put any effort in him anymore. I even feel it might be better i just cut him out completely without even telling him goodbye, like say hi one day and the next day cease all and every form of communication between him. From what i know about him, it wont bother him at all.
I never leave comments, but I felt the need to reply to you. I've had the betrayal of my life from a male "friend" whom I trusted and deeply loved. I don't know the specifics of your situation, but I abide by a simple rule that keeps me feeling like I make good decisions: say everything you have to say. Give the person the knowledge they would need to make amends or to learn a lesson. You're not responsible for that person's reaction-- my "friend" did not respond to me in a way that I thought was fair at all. But I chose to say everything as my way of honoring the friendship that I had given to him. And it helped me to walk away with more ease, and dare I say, satisfaction, knowing that there was nothing I had left undone. I would have the conversation if I were you, but either way, good job getting away from a person who is spiritually misaligned with you. I had the same feelings of sadness/anxiety surrounding that "friend" when I was still deluding myself that he and I could maintain a friendship. On this side of things, it's clear to see that spiritually, we had no business being around each other lol. He didn't have the same relationship to the truth that I have, and that was truly at the root of our breakdown, though that showed itself in many forms.
Thank you:) for this because I need to have a hard conversation but I'm scared because I've tried before and have gotten blamed for attacking
Love 💕 love you so much!
I love you Iyanla and have introduce allot of people to your teachings. Please how can I become a guest on your show or be in the audience on your next appearance on Oprah show. Thank you in advance
Thank you
hard heart soft heart speak
easy heart speak
I stayed until 3am this is not gonna change and my life is in danger." I've been there with family it's no joke ... My sister took me through hell she and her daughter and I'm a man.
ah baby 3 c ahhhhhhhhhh
Iyanla not my story, that all I can say about that, and yes, yes yes acquiescent!
world hard heart soft
me come back baby feelying feelying feelying feelying
How do we get you to see our questions, I left a question on your last video but, I don't think you saw it.
فرق السنين مالهوش مكان بين العاشقبن
all me love
How can I e-mail in a question?
whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy all me love
all of me pray baby
win heart pray alone in me
ahhhhhhhhhhhhh0 baby
I'm asking you to go to the podiatrist and get your feet checked out cuz there really is an odor. 😂
be be be beeeeye
No! No!
This opening song is freegin' UNACCEPTABLE!
Not on MY WATCH!
Not on MY WATCH!
Lawd!!!
With loving 'intention' I concur, but I didn't want to say anything since hearing it on episode one of this season. The vocals are substandard to say the least.
LoL! I support the advice, but the song sounds like a parody.
Now Beloved, what happens if I like the song? This is a beautiful young sister (19) who is really trying to make her way. I want to support her and . . . it may not be Mary J but, I like the song. Let us be mindful about what we say/write, when we don't know who is looking or listening. I promised her I would use it and I did. Some young people just need a leg up.
looooooooooooolllll
Amen, Iyanla. Yes, let us be mindful about what we say/write... Peace
forgiveledd je t,aime
hi
Yeah...what if they don't want to talk to you about If they have Herpes 1 or 2. Asking them if closeness equals an incurable lifelong contagious disease. BE CLEAR!
hahahaaaaaa c b ahhhhh ckkkkkkkkkk
soul touch body god is love god know me in light fall swam fly
😍
beeeeeby
😘
Those chic's singing on that introduction cannot sing! OMG!