I would add another possible side effect to growing up around very wealthy people (in my experience): THINKING YOU ARE POORER OR WORSE OFF THAN YOU ARE! We are 4 kids in my family and all grew up around wealth, my 3 older siblings (in their 30s and 40s) to THIS DAY talk about themselves like they were poor despite having gone to top private schools, private language schools, private swimming lessons, horse riding (owning their own horse), paying $hundreds to trim half a cm of their hair every month, eating out in nice restaurants frequently, studying abroad and having memberships of several countryside leisure centres....
I heard a guy in his late 30s who regularly talks abt the stock market with his bros and was recently laid off into early retirement talking abt the economy taxing the fuck out of "us peasants". Also grew up going to private school and graduating from a good college and has the money to regularly travel outside of the country and recently bought in DC. It took everything in me not to laugh out loud and keep my mouth shut. Your siblings sound incredibly delusional and need to hang outside their circle for once.
Yea, it’s pretty wild. I went from my family being the less privileged in one school to being the more privileged in another and it has fundamentally shaped my world view. I think a lot of people who are oblivious to their privilege are probably like your older siblings, they’ve felt inadequacy within their bubble without realizing their bubble is pretty high up there.
@@chzcakelova YES! Im so happy i'm able to see the contrast. TO this day my sibling that earns the most is in her early 30s, has her over million dollar house paid off, lots of trips, savings, investments, etc w her partner make a really fat 6 figure income and she constantly talks like she is not wealthy, DRIVES ME INSANE considering im long covid house bound for years now only on my partners income w lots of medical bills and we still dont see ourselves as poor!
I grew up pretty middle class and most of my friends went to private schools and were very well off. I always thought we were poor because we weren’t quite as well well off as my friends (they had two parent incomes and I only had one). But, looking back on it after I moved to a poorer area, I was actually pretty affluent. I had multiple instrument lessons, went to ballet, tennis, swimming and drama, and was home educated and had multiple tutors. Privilege literally blinds you. I only really realised once my partner told me about his very working class upbringing.
The old money aesthetic thing is 1% propaganda to keep people aspiring to that and romanticizing instead of coming together to unionize, demand better from our governments etc.
Agreed, I think there is a LOT of propaganda now to cover up how bad things are getting so that everyone maintains status quo. I read a piece in the Atlantic about how well Millennials are doing financially compared to boomers. . . But it was the MOST superficial assessment possible.
Not only that but to change consuming trends and also contributing to look up to them in the recession time and in life in general specially with the new amount of “new money” to put them in check antlers psychologically
I went to a very exclusive private school for girls, on a special scholarship because of my “gifted child” status and my test results. The girls were very polite to me, but I wish the management hadn’t told everyone that I was a “charity student”. It created a distance that otherwise I don’t think would have been there. The girls meant well, I believe, but I was still inadvertently excluded from really being one of the group. I resented the teachers, especially, calling me that every time they saw me. What children most want at school is to feel that they belong. I should have, my grandfather, a building contractor, built that school in the 1930s.
I am a born and raised San Franciscan and can relate to everything in this conversation! Especially the part about seeing the city as a community vs. a playground for your 20s and 30s, and public schools. I know most of my neighbors will move as soon as they want kids. True city diversity has so much to offer and I wouldn't give up my childhood in the city for anything! My family has been here for generations. I am not opposed to new people moving in. I am opposed to speculative real estate investing, and people who see the city as just a temporary stop that they'll leave when life gets more serious. I'm opposed to people not knowing their neighbors and not frequenting ethnic restaurants and corner stores because they want the whitewashed establishments instead. I'm opposed to people voting to defund civic programs like public schools and libraries because they can afford private school and Audible. I'm opposed to people looking down on service workers who grew up here, who make the capuccinos for the professional class who will leave soon. Community is everything
Another native San Franciscan, I love The City, too. I hope I can afford to move back someday. I own my home in San Rafael, but the techies have pushed City prices out of my range, at least for now. I miss the fog, cooler summer weather and walking to everything, shops and restaurants especially. Here I have to drive everywhere and restaurants shut down at 8 pm during the week! If you want dinner after 9 on Fridays or Saturdays, you’re out of options.
As someone who grew up in Harlem I completely agree. It is sad to become an adult and not be able to afford the place you were raised. And the people who move to New York because it’s a novel experience, but don’t get to know their community or participate in local business…spot on.
I loved what Dutch said about people moving to neighborhoods but not being a part of the actual community or realizing a community exists. Everything he said about people moving to NYC and treating it as an adult playground is spot on. I live in a Boston-adjacent city that completely turns over 60% of the population every 3-4 years, and it's also full of young adults who seem completely shocked there are kids here, and a school system, and community amenities that are for kids.
I felt this. I was born and raised in LES manhattan, chinese, and its just sad coming back year after year (to visit) and seeing my community slowly dying out. Now 25 years later, im somewhat back. Living in queens now. Sad its just really not affordable for us regular people anymore. My mom used to work in some textile factory.
@soapygirl83 I've been applying to the affordable housing lottery in NY now for the last 6 or so months, and the fact that my income is too low for affordable units in buildings is crazy. Affordable for who?
Kind of meaningless to tell rich people. They're already intimately familiar with the limits of consuming your way to happiness. It is a reductive and unhelpful phrase, though.
I studied abroad in Italy, and we had a few students from a private university that was old money town in New England. And it so bizarre how so disconnected they were from the rest of us who were on scholarships and having to take out loans or GoFundMe to be there. Along with how they kept to themselves and were cliquey about interacting outside their bubble and could tell they were just there to check off a place on their list to say they've been to.
I love Dutch's content. I used to be a residential property manager at a partially low-income tax credit housing community and I quit and took a MASSIVE pay cut (50% of my income) to leave the industry. My company was very much giving the low income homes worse apartments, finding loopholes to renovate everything else first while they wait for the 30 year requirement to have the tax credit units to be up. For me, it is completely unethical to have for-profit housing unless housing is ACTUALLY accessible. Both price and procedure have to be accessible and there's not enough product.
@@LaChanceuse I believe it! It’s so gross. There was a lot of dodgy stuff they were trying to do and it was a daily battle with senior management to not screw over the residents.
A big part of the fascination with the Old Money Aesthetic is to due with this modern Gilded Age that we are living through. The gap is so huge right now that it makes these lifestyles more otherworldly and fascinating and we have social media to give us a glance behind the curtain.
9:26 I cried so much at the beginning. I grew up in the Bronx but I know I can’t really go back if I want to get out of poverty because it’s so expensive and it breaks my heart to not be able to go back home
It sucks so much. All of those jacket up prices it's just extorsion franckly... None of those rent prices especially are justified. Litteraly extorsion cause you have no choice but pay it or be homeless.
I just don’t want the stress that comes with not having enough money! When things are really tight money-wise, the stress never lets up, it’s soul-eroding. My regular grocery order was $89 in March, now it’s $140 for the exact same list! I hate having to exclude the healthy foods I love most, like fish, pre-washed salad greens (the washing is painful and hard with my back trouble), blueberries and almonds because they’re too expensive! Poverty is bad for health in so many ways besides the obvious medical expenses. If I have to go to a special clinic in the city nearby, it’s $30 extra for parking and tolls.
As a native San Franciscan who grew up with a single mother- I feel everything he’s saying to my core. People coming in, driving up rent, complaining about where they live while not contributing a single thing, then leaving. Plus: needing $75k/ye to qualify for affordable housing. Like, HELL NAH. So much is wrong with that.
I fully admit I was always glad I grew up working class/lower middle class in a small town filled with people in the same income bracket. It made you feel less odd one out. I already felt left out for other reasons. The class difference would have made that worse.
1000%... i felt like an alien growing up, and there are many other psychological side effects like my siblings currently in their 30s and 40s that still look back and see themselves as poor (as they compared themselves to ultra wealth) and to this day dont acknowledge their social position and luck of having gone to top private schools, private language schools, private swimming lessons, horse riding (owning their own horse), paying $hundreds to trim half a cm of their hair every month, eating out in nice restaurants frequently, studying abroad and having memberships of several countryside leisure centres.... I wouldnt put my kids in that position but if i had to for certain reasons we would def talk about it a lot instead of leaving the child to process such complex situation on their own, to this day i process it all on my own as my siblings clearly live in a different reality, specially my 30yo sister w her house paid off in sydney australia and lots and lots of money spare calling herself broke lololol
He shouldn't feel stupid for not being able to think of a place where suburban kids go to hang out. In many cases, the answer is simply "they don't". I went to the mall as a kid, but it was only because my mom needed to buy us new clothes (which I hated) or didn't want to leave me at home alone while she shopped for herself.
@@TheRealE.B. my parents would let me wander around and play at the park close to the house or on the block. they were boomers, not like the helicopter parents these days.
@@tencelTechnologist My parents actually gave me a lot of freedom, too, but there wasn't really much I could walk to. We had a tiny library about a mile away that I went to a lot, but I think it closed in my teens. And a hill for sledding in the winter about the same distance. Honestly, I spent a lot of time just chilling by myself in my backyard. Part of this was probably because I grew up in a "late-stage" suburb. American suburbs have an unnatural life cycle where a large number of people are all the same age and have kids of similar ages because they were at a similar stage in life when they bought a house. This makes life more tolerable for the first generation of kids to grow up in the neighborhood because they have an unusually high amount of neighbors their own age to play with. By the time I was born, though, the neighborhood was full of old people whose kids had moved out, and there were few friends to be had. Theoretically, these places can bounce back a bit once the old people die off, but the neighborhoods will never be as lively as they were when they were 90% young families with kids. This is also a problem for economic purposes. A neighborhood that generated enough business and taxes when it was full of working families with kids may find itself in financial distress when it's full of pensioners who spend a lot of time out of town vacationing or visiting children.
me, today years old when I realized I was forced to go shopping constantly even though my mom knew she could have left me at home with a stack of books. since she died, I now order all my clothes online in packages like 3 v neck tees, 6 leggings etc lol
I’m a nanny who was raised in a major city, and it’s so fascinating to see the reactions some of the people I work for (especially the suburban ones) have to the idea that my parents didn’t move to the suburbs. I’ve also had some really nice moments of talking with families who moved into the city with their kids about the benefits of being a kid in a major city and how good of an experience I had！
This hit home. Same exact thing is happening here in Montana. People come out here acting like it's their personal playground while displacing long-time locals and changing the culture. Its infuriating.
I miss growing up in Brooklyn. I have so many good memories. The diversity is being pushed out, but I know that NY is a place that is constantly changing. Many of those newbies will leave and hopefully, homes will become available to a diverse population of working ppl. Bc NY thrives on its diversity of ppl food and culture. NY is truly a place where everywhere you go, there u are.
The intention is that these populations will replace themselves with another 20 something flock every few years. They don't see themselves as staying in NY, just enjoying themselves and making $ until they go back to where the grasses are greener
I was born and raised in the lower east side, and due to cost-of-living kept getting pushed farther and farther outward. Before I bought my apartment in the Bronx, I looked at affordable housing. I never qualified because I made too much for the poor bracket, and too little for the wealthier bracket. The few apartments that I qualified for were in neighborhoods, that were not very nice, and the rent was higher than what I was paying at my current location of the time I always hated the CB preference because I was no longer living in the district that I grew up in and felt that I was cheated. The only reason why I own an apartment is because my father gave me money for a down payment and I live in the very cheapest place you can afford in the Bronx. There is nothing around me and I have very few peers so it’s very lonely.
57:00 I love teachers that like their students!!❤ it's so refreshing to see people in education who actually have a passion for it👏🏾👏🏾 good for you! Better for our future😂
I grew up in New York but was priced out in my mid twenties around 2004 ( my neighborhood on west 231st got a target and everything was screwed after that ). Hearing you refer to yorkville as affluent is wild! The last time I visited from CA, which was right before COVID, I went to Williamsburg and was shocked to find a bunch of white young people had replaced everyone . Where did everyone go. Honestly . Did the move to New Jersey?
It is so fascinating to hear a New Yorkers perspective on integration into the culture. Living in NC, we always complain about NYrs moving here and not integrating into our culture. Never really thought about it in the reverse. Very interesting!!
Yep, also from NC. Tired of the NYers everywhere, especially in Wilmington. I heard a bunch are in Asheville too. They drive to real estate and crap on our state because it's not NY. Then why did you move here. Anywho there are some that enjoy not having to hustle and grind and have a second job just to survive.
Growing up as an immigrant in NYC was probably easier in many ways than if we lived in a suburb. There is always a community and I never felt isolated. I never wanted to leave the city. I'm lucky that my parents managed to buy a home here in the 90s, otherwise I would really struggle to raise my child here.
Hi, new sub here! I adore him!!!! What a brilliant interview!!! I really like how you allowed him to talk without any interruptions. It made for an informative and interesting discussion from your guest!!
Super interesting! I related to the segment about families in cities! I live in a small city (150 000) and we chose to continue living downtown when we had our son and people judged us SO much! But we both go to work walking, we have grocery story, drug store, restaurants and much much more so close! And we do have a backyard so to me he's lucky to grow up here :)
I would say TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE RECISSION! Recessions are an unavoidable part of the economic cycle; all you can do is prepare for them and plan accordingly. I graduated into a slump (2009). My first job after graduating from college was as an aerial acrobat on cruise ships. Today, I work as a VP for a global corporation, own three rental properties, invest in stocks and businesses, run my own company, and have increased my net worth by $500k in the last four years
What a super fun conversation!! It makes me think of the fantastic book Primates of Park Avenue. Worth reading... an author goes deep with an anthro/sociological lens but gets pulled way in. It's hilarious, wild, sober, all the things.
42:21 My god, ngl, the life of those rich kids seems scary. I babysat for working/middle class (new professionals) people and it was so different. I would literally be outside with the kids all day. Like we would just walk all over until it was time to go home and nap. It was so fun.
I’m so happy class consciousness and eat the rich is happening now, instead of rich worship (I mean, rich worship still happens but there’s a huge pushback at least)
I think the old money aesthetic fashion is actually having a heyday now because wit stuff like fast fashion, it's completely accessible now to parody and mock the Rich, even the "old money" ones who say stuff like "put it in a blind trust account old sport 😂" it's the fantasy of that world that doesn't really exist anymore like in movies like Don't Worry Darling.
I grew up in NYC & did my full schooling there. Having lived on the west coast for a few years now, I would only want to raise my kids there. I want them to have similar experiences and be exposed to different people, ideas, and cultures. Most places feel very cookie cutter.
Dutch! Love your content on all platforms, so happy to see you here too! I got pushed out of NYC by the rent prices, and then a month later… won the housing lottery. It was “only” 2800 for a 2 bed. 😅
Dallas has a similar concept called in town units. I stayed in a building that allowed 10% of there apartments for the program. It wasn’t a lottery though. They would update the website whenever those apartments were available and you just have to apply and make sure your salary was in a particular range so proof of income every year was mandatory. At the time market rent waa $1400-$1800 but I only paid $910 plus utilities ans a parking spot. It was a very nice high rise in downtown Dallas. I think the rent has gone up slightly though for the program.
Money doesn't buy happiness, but it does help ensure a status quo that mitigates unhappiness and protects against events that would be catastrophic for someone of a lower socioeconomic class.
Its nice to see representation. My oldest sibbling and I are the few in our family that ever experienced a similar situation where our parents essentially pulled out of poverty and that resulted in us going to a public school with kids from wealth. We were also located in an area where the closest community college to us resided in a rich neighborhood. Pretty much all the rich kids who were too dumb to make it into a university or college ended up here. The privilege was unreal to the point one of my professors even agreed and told me he hated how racist people were. Alot of wealth people say the most dehumanizing things because they have never been told otherwise. If they wanted to they could destroy your career just because they didn't like you. Like my ears even hearing privledge young adults saying things like trashing their brand new car because it wasnt the car they wanted just sounds unreal. That kid who crashed her car got her dream car by the end of the week to replace it.
Omg I love him! For some reason I knew you were talking about him just by the intro. There’s many of your guests that appear in your videos/podcasts. Gotta love my algorithm ❣️
I got an offer to attend a private school for senior year with a scholarship because I play a less popular musical instrument and the school orchestra needed someone. Part of the reason I refused was because 1) I wanted to spend senior year with my friends at public school, & 2) I didn't want to deal with feeling like an outsider as a new kid and a scholarship kid (many of the students are showbiz nepo babies).
Dutch seems lovely. Shocking about his experience applying for housing in NYC 😢 i had no idea it was THAT bad. If only there was more affordable housing.
The REAL privilege is being loved - brought up in a functional family where you are given time, attention, care and love. The three year old in business class might not, in fact, have that.
That is simpler from a certain level of material comfort. No matter how much my parents love me if it's between showing that and keeping a roof over my head it's difficult to convey
Not sure where else to request this, but I'm a college student about to transfer and take on more loans, and I'm really overwhelmed with trying to understand what the best way to navigate these financial decisions is. I'm first generation and receiving no family aid (despite EFC factoring into my financial aid package), and feel totally unprepared to take on this financial responsibility and would love some guidance and real life examples.
I LOVED this video! Fantastic questions and perfectly done interview What I learned is; Protect your space- the rich see and only hang out the rich. Very important. I cannot tell you how man times i see something negative on others (say they get sick or see poverty or whatever) and it manifests in my life in some way ....i get annoyed i am so open to things i do want to do/see/be. Another is city life for kids CAN be fun. I just imagine the fumes in the air, seeing extreme poverty, homelessness, crime rates, no close community etc etc but people who ACTUALLY lived there actually love it. Thats cool.
My two cents on the old money aesthetics : I don’t think it’s necessarily opposite to eat the rich, when poorer people appropriate rich culture, it’s becomes tacky. Let coastal grandma become tacky and what’s left for them to signal their wealth ?
old money have bimodal dress sense. Either they look like Audrey Hepburn or they're wearing dorky sweaters with mismatched jeans or sweatpants. There's no middle ground. As for houses being super out of date, can confirm. They're well upkept though, from what I see. They invest in all things quality and durability. I mean, if you had 200 year old furniture that was beautiful and impeccably maintained, why would you need to buy more? Old money folks also take pride in driving old pre-owned cars until they break. They also invest an insane amount in environmental conservation because part of being old money is having this mentality of preserving wealth for future generations - that mentality is easily extended to include the planet. Virtually every old money person I know has a "bag full of bags," recycles and repurposes everything, and uses things until they are no longer usable (but not falling apart, that's kind of an overstatement). It's a surprisingly sustainable lifestyle IMO.
It's interesting. Thanks for sharing. I would think having so much money gives on the freedom to be and do what whatever they want yet many often choose to belong to clubs and such where they all have to behave /believe /be very similar But it's for the good of the future generations 😅
I've never heard a rich person say that money doesn't buy happiness. Not saying they say the opposite either. But that particular saying - I have never heard it from a rich person. Also that house in the Hamptons is comes with a 30k+ tax bill and probably 30-60k maintenance depending on how close to sea you are. And the insurance is probably another 5 to 20k depending on location. So if you live in the NYC (considering NY and NYC taxes) - having that house alone is 200k of pre-tax income. So 'just having a house in the Hamptons' - presupposes realistically 500k+ annual income to maintain it.
I will never live in a big city like that for the reasons mentioned. Right now around the greater Kansas City, Missouri is getting eaten up investors who buy up inexpensive ranch houses and rent them out for 2x the amount their worth for a 10 year mortgage/month to pay them off and make money off them. The housing market had doubled in just 5 years from people coming from the west cost. Its insane . 5 years ago with the pay my husband and I make we could have afforded a home now we cant.
![Method Writing: The First Four Concepts - Jack Grapes [FULL INTERVIEW]](/img/n.gif)
I would add another possible side effect to growing up around very wealthy people (in my experience): THINKING YOU ARE POORER OR WORSE OFF THAN YOU ARE! We are 4 kids in my family and all grew up around wealth, my 3 older siblings (in their 30s and 40s) to THIS DAY talk about themselves like they were poor despite having gone to top private schools, private language schools, private swimming lessons, horse riding (owning their own horse), paying $hundreds to trim half a cm of their hair every month, eating out in nice restaurants frequently, studying abroad and having memberships of several countryside leisure centres....
I heard a guy in his late 30s who regularly talks abt the stock market with his bros and was recently laid off into early retirement talking abt the economy taxing the fuck out of "us peasants". Also grew up going to private school and graduating from a good college and has the money to regularly travel outside of the country and recently bought in DC. It took everything in me not to laugh out loud and keep my mouth shut.
Your siblings sound incredibly delusional and need to hang outside their circle for once.
That's so sad
Yea, it’s pretty wild. I went from my family being the less privileged in one school to being the more privileged in another and it has fundamentally shaped my world view. I think a lot of people who are oblivious to their privilege are probably like your older siblings, they’ve felt inadequacy within their bubble without realizing their bubble is pretty high up there.
@@chzcakelova YES! Im so happy i'm able to see the contrast. TO this day my sibling that earns the most is in her early 30s, has her over million dollar house paid off, lots of trips, savings, investments, etc w her partner make a really fat 6 figure income and she constantly talks like she is not wealthy, DRIVES ME INSANE considering im long covid house bound for years now only on my partners income w lots of medical bills and we still dont see ourselves as poor!
I grew up pretty middle class and most of my friends went to private schools and were very well off. I always thought we were poor because we weren’t quite as well well off as my friends (they had two parent incomes and I only had one).
But, looking back on it after I moved to a poorer area, I was actually pretty affluent. I had multiple instrument lessons, went to ballet, tennis, swimming and drama, and was home educated and had multiple tutors.
Privilege literally blinds you. I only really realised once my partner told me about his very working class upbringing.
The old money aesthetic thing is 1% propaganda to keep people aspiring to that and romanticizing instead of coming together to unionize, demand better from our governments etc.
Agreed, I think there is a LOT of propaganda now to cover up how bad things are getting so that everyone maintains status quo. I read a piece in the Atlantic about how well Millennials are doing financially compared to boomers. . . But it was the MOST superficial assessment possible.
You know what.. I did not see it that way, but it makes alot of sense.
oh absolutely, I’m someone who finds it alluring but this is the truth
Not only that but to change consuming trends and also contributing to look up to them in the recession time and in life in general specially with the new amount of “new money” to put them in check antlers psychologically
YES 👏 is coming
I went to a very exclusive private school for girls, on a special scholarship because of my “gifted child” status and my test results. The girls were very polite to me, but I wish the management hadn’t told everyone that I was a “charity student”. It created a distance that otherwise I don’t think would have been there. The girls meant well, I believe, but I was still inadvertently excluded from really being one of the group. I resented the teachers, especially, calling me that every time they saw me. What children most want at school is to feel that they belong. I should have, my grandfather, a building contractor, built that school in the 1930s.
I am a born and raised San Franciscan and can relate to everything in this conversation! Especially the part about seeing the city as a community vs. a playground for your 20s and 30s, and public schools. I know most of my neighbors will move as soon as they want kids. True city diversity has so much to offer and I wouldn't give up my childhood in the city for anything!
My family has been here for generations. I am not opposed to new people moving in. I am opposed to speculative real estate investing, and people who see the city as just a temporary stop that they'll leave when life gets more serious. I'm opposed to people not knowing their neighbors and not frequenting ethnic restaurants and corner stores because they want the whitewashed establishments instead. I'm opposed to people voting to defund civic programs like public schools and libraries because they can afford private school and Audible. I'm opposed to people looking down on service workers who grew up here, who make the capuccinos for the professional class who will leave soon.
Community is everything
🎉❤ yessss. In true agreement with you
🙌🏾 everything you said
Another native San Franciscan, I love The City, too. I hope I can afford to move back someday. I own my home in San Rafael, but the techies have pushed City prices out of my range, at least for now. I miss the fog, cooler summer weather and walking to everything, shops and restaurants especially. Here I have to drive everywhere and restaurants shut down at 8 pm during the week! If you want dinner after 9 on Fridays or Saturdays, you’re out of options.
Facts
Community is important yes but also public services and state regulated housing/renting prices !
As someone who grew up in Harlem I completely agree. It is sad to become an adult and not be able to afford the place you were raised. And the people who move to New York because it’s a novel experience, but don’t get to know their community or participate in local business…spot on.
🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
I loved what Dutch said about people moving to neighborhoods but not being a part of the actual community or realizing a community exists. Everything he said about people moving to NYC and treating it as an adult playground is spot on.
I live in a Boston-adjacent city that completely turns over 60% of the population every 3-4 years, and it's also full of young adults who seem completely shocked there are kids here, and a school system, and community amenities that are for kids.
38:34 that Isles/Aisles of Gristedes story was a thing of beauty. Bravo to your dad’s wit - that’s something money can’t buy!
I felt this. I was born and raised in LES manhattan, chinese, and its just sad coming back year after year (to visit) and seeing my community slowly dying out. Now 25 years later, im somewhat back. Living in queens now. Sad its just really not affordable for us regular people anymore. My mom used to work in some textile factory.
Very sad. The culture is gone. East Village, West 4th... All boutiques. No more starving artists/hippies... Just hipsters with no flavor or culture.
The affordable housing lottery really does sound like Housing Hunger Games. Wow.
It's so backwards!
The whole conversation around being too poor to afford low income housing is kind of crazy
@soapygirl83 I've been applying to the affordable housing lottery in NY now for the last 6 or so months, and the fact that my income is too low for affordable units in buildings is crazy. Affordable for who?
"Money doesn't buy happiness" is something they only tell to poor people
Money doesn't buy happiness, but I'd rather cry in a Benz than on a bike 🥲
🎶money can’t buy you class🎵- Countess Luann
Money does make a lot of other problems go away though
Money can buy a lot of comfort.
Kind of meaningless to tell rich people. They're already intimately familiar with the limits of consuming your way to happiness. It is a reductive and unhelpful phrase, though.
I gasped when he was talking about his experience with applying for afforable housing, wow
If money doesn’t buy happiness, then why do they work so hard to hold onto it?
same reason why the hamster keeps running in his wheel
Power, they want power
Because some people are so poor, all they have is money.
Because if you can’t be happy, at least you can still make someone else unhappy
I studied abroad in Italy, and we had a few students from a private university that was old money town in New England. And it so bizarre how so disconnected they were from the rest of us who were on scholarships and having to take out loans or GoFundMe to be there. Along with how they kept to themselves and were cliquey about interacting outside their bubble and could tell they were just there to check off a place on their list to say they've been to.
I love Dutch's content. I used to be a residential property manager at a partially low-income tax credit housing community and I quit and took a MASSIVE pay cut (50% of my income) to leave the industry. My company was very much giving the low income homes worse apartments, finding loopholes to renovate everything else first while they wait for the 30 year requirement to have the tax credit units to be up.
For me, it is completely unethical to have for-profit housing unless housing is ACTUALLY accessible. Both price and procedure have to be accessible and there's not enough product.
My experience is quite similar to yours!
@@LaChanceuse I believe it! It’s so gross. There was a lot of dodgy stuff they were trying to do and it was a daily battle with senior management to not screw over the residents.
A big part of the fascination with the Old Money Aesthetic is to due with this modern Gilded Age that we are living through. The gap is so huge right now that it makes these lifestyles more otherworldly and fascinating and we have social media to give us a glance behind the curtain.
9:26 I cried so much at the beginning. I grew up in the Bronx but I know I can’t really go back if I want to get out of poverty because it’s so expensive and it breaks my heart to not be able to go back home
It sucks so much. All of those jacket up prices it's just extorsion franckly... None of those rent prices especially are justified. Litteraly extorsion cause you have no choice but pay it or be homeless.
@@capucnechaussonpassion14 Yes, exactly. Ain't no way those prices are reasonable
I just don’t want the stress that comes with not having enough money! When things are really tight money-wise, the stress never lets up, it’s soul-eroding. My regular grocery order was $89 in March, now it’s $140 for the exact same list! I hate having to exclude the healthy foods I love most, like fish, pre-washed salad greens (the washing is painful and hard with my back trouble), blueberries and almonds because they’re too expensive! Poverty is bad for health in so many ways besides the obvious medical expenses. If I have to go to a special clinic in the city nearby, it’s $30 extra for parking and tolls.
As a native San Franciscan who grew up with a single mother- I feel everything he’s saying to my core. People coming in, driving up rent, complaining about where they live while not contributing a single thing, then leaving. Plus: needing $75k/ye to qualify for affordable housing. Like, HELL NAH. So much is wrong with that.
I fully admit I was always glad I grew up working class/lower middle class in a small town filled with people in the same income bracket. It made you feel less odd one out. I already felt left out for other reasons. The class difference would have made that worse.
1000%... i felt like an alien growing up, and there are many other psychological side effects like my siblings currently in their 30s and 40s that still look back and see themselves as poor (as they compared themselves to ultra wealth) and to this day dont acknowledge their social position and luck of having gone to top private schools, private language schools, private swimming lessons, horse riding (owning their own horse), paying $hundreds to trim half a cm of their hair every month, eating out in nice restaurants frequently, studying abroad and having memberships of several countryside leisure centres....
I wouldnt put my kids in that position but if i had to for certain reasons we would def talk about it a lot instead of leaving the child to process such complex situation on their own, to this day i process it all on my own as my siblings clearly live in a different reality, specially my 30yo sister w her house paid off in sydney australia and lots and lots of money spare calling herself broke lololol
@@rba4377 there's a book about this! It's called Uneasy Street: The Anxieties of Affluence by Rachel Sherman.
He shouldn't feel stupid for not being able to think of a place where suburban kids go to hang out.
In many cases, the answer is simply "they don't".
I went to the mall as a kid, but it was only because my mom needed to buy us new clothes (which I hated) or didn't want to leave me at home alone while she shopped for herself.
we hung out at starbucks and cava when I was in high school
@@tencelTechnologist Where did you hang out the rest of your childhood?
@@TheRealE.B. my parents would let me wander around and play at the park close to the house or on the block. they were boomers, not like the helicopter parents these days.
@@tencelTechnologist My parents actually gave me a lot of freedom, too, but there wasn't really much I could walk to. We had a tiny library about a mile away that I went to a lot, but I think it closed in my teens. And a hill for sledding in the winter about the same distance. Honestly, I spent a lot of time just chilling by myself in my backyard.
Part of this was probably because I grew up in a "late-stage" suburb. American suburbs have an unnatural life cycle where a large number of people are all the same age and have kids of similar ages because they were at a similar stage in life when they bought a house. This makes life more tolerable for the first generation of kids to grow up in the neighborhood because they have an unusually high amount of neighbors their own age to play with. By the time I was born, though, the neighborhood was full of old people whose kids had moved out, and there were few friends to be had. Theoretically, these places can bounce back a bit once the old people die off, but the neighborhoods will never be as lively as they were when they were 90% young families with kids.
This is also a problem for economic purposes. A neighborhood that generated enough business and taxes when it was full of working families with kids may find itself in financial distress when it's full of pensioners who spend a lot of time out of town vacationing or visiting children.
me, today years old when I realized I was forced to go shopping constantly even though my mom knew she could have left me at home with a stack of books. since she died, I now order all my clothes online in packages like 3 v neck tees, 6 leggings etc lol
I’m a nanny who was raised in a major city, and it’s so fascinating to see the reactions some of the people I work for (especially the suburban ones) have to the idea that my parents didn’t move to the suburbs. I’ve also had some really nice moments of talking with families who moved into the city with their kids about the benefits of being a kid in a major city and how good of an experience I had！
Some urban adults are former city kids!
This hit home. Same exact thing is happening here in Montana. People come out here acting like it's their personal playground while displacing long-time locals and changing the culture. Its infuriating.
😢😢😢😢same
Yup. They just love to find a quaint locale to colonize.
I miss growing up in Brooklyn. I have so many good memories. The diversity is being pushed out, but I know that NY is a place that is constantly changing. Many of those newbies will leave and hopefully, homes will become available to a diverse population of working ppl. Bc NY thrives on its diversity of ppl food and culture. NY is truly a place where everywhere you go, there u are.
The intention is that these populations will replace themselves with another 20 something flock every few years. They don't see themselves as staying in NY, just enjoying themselves and making $ until they go back to where the grasses are greener
I was born and raised in the lower east side, and due to cost-of-living kept getting pushed farther and farther outward. Before I bought my apartment in the Bronx, I looked at affordable housing. I never qualified because I made too much for the poor bracket, and too little for the wealthier bracket. The few apartments that I qualified for were in neighborhoods, that were not very nice, and the rent was higher than what I was paying at my current location of the time I always hated the CB preference because I was no longer living in the district that I grew up in and felt that I was cheated. The only reason why I own an apartment is because my father gave me money for a down payment and I live in the very cheapest place you can afford in the Bronx. There is nothing around me and I have very few peers so it’s very lonely.
57:00 I love teachers that like their students!!❤ it's so refreshing to see people in education who actually have a passion for it👏🏾👏🏾 good for you! Better for our future😂
This episode is so refreshing. I follow him on tiktok and I love how grounded he is! His takes are amazing!
I grew up in New York but was priced out in my mid twenties around 2004 ( my neighborhood on west 231st got a target and everything was screwed after that ). Hearing you refer to yorkville as affluent is wild! The last time I visited from CA, which was right before COVID, I went to Williamsburg and was shocked to find a bunch of white young people had replaced everyone . Where did everyone go. Honestly . Did the move to New Jersey?
Omg! So excited for this collab. I was screaming during the intro “please be Dutch, please be Dutch!”
45:50 “I’ve ridden in cars before” is such a hilarious line. Loved it.
It is so fascinating to hear a New Yorkers perspective on integration into the culture. Living in NC, we always complain about NYrs moving here and not integrating into our culture. Never really thought about it in the reverse. Very interesting!!
Yep, also from NC. Tired of the NYers everywhere, especially in Wilmington. I heard a bunch are in Asheville too.
They drive to real estate and crap on our state because it's not NY. Then why did you move here.
Anywho there are some that enjoy not having to hustle and grind and have a second job just to survive.
Sorry, I'm not from the US, what does NC stand for? North carolina?
Yes@@sinestesianestesia9079
Growing up as an immigrant in NYC was probably easier in many ways than if we lived in a suburb. There is always a community and I never felt isolated. I never wanted to leave the city. I'm lucky that my parents managed to buy a home here in the 90s, otherwise I would really struggle to raise my child here.
35:23 Because they go specifically to relax. That’s it. And they do have excursions that go off site at those types of resorts as well.
Hi, new sub here! I adore him!!!! What a brilliant interview!!! I really like how you allowed him to talk without any interruptions. It made for an informative and interesting discussion from your guest!!
Super interesting! I related to the segment about families in cities! I live in a small city (150 000) and we chose to continue living downtown when we had our son and people judged us SO much! But we both go to work walking, we have grocery story, drug store, restaurants and much much more so close! And we do have a backyard so to me he's lucky to grow up here :)
He’s very relatable and down to earth! Enjoyed this episode.
I'm just listening and it sounds SO MUCH like LA. Transplants have such a wildly different view than native LA folk.
The way he is preaching about NYC is soooo real!!
I would say TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE RECISSION! Recessions are an unavoidable part of the economic cycle; all you can do is prepare for them and plan accordingly. I graduated into a slump (2009). My first job after graduating from college was as an aerial acrobat on cruise ships. Today, I work as a VP for a global corporation, own three rental properties, invest in stocks and businesses, run my own company, and have increased my net worth by $500k in the last four years
The piece about stability is the part of the class gap which you can have a whole show on to talk about different perspectives
What a super fun conversation!! It makes me think of the fantastic book Primates of Park Avenue. Worth reading... an author goes deep with an anthro/sociological lens but gets pulled way in. It's hilarious, wild, sober, all the things.
I read this a couple years back and have been looking for more like it! it was such a fun read.
Just put this book on hold at the library
I don't have TikTok, so I can't follow him. However, I really like this guy. He is smart and funny.
42:21 My god, ngl, the life of those rich kids seems scary. I babysat for working/middle class (new professionals) people and it was so different. I would literally be outside with the kids all day. Like we would just walk all over until it was time to go home and nap. It was so fun.
LITERALLY SCREAMED I love dutch so much he’s the best!!!
I love Dutch this was such a great interview. So many insights and gyms were dropped. I hope you guys get to talk again
Amazing talk, I have learned so much about NY. What a put-together guy he is!
STOP BEST GUEST EVER AND THE COLLAB I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED 😭
I’m so happy class consciousness and eat the rich is happening now, instead of rich worship (I mean, rich worship still happens but there’s a huge pushback at least)
I think the old money aesthetic fashion is actually having a heyday now because wit stuff like fast fashion, it's completely accessible now to parody and mock the Rich, even the "old money" ones who say stuff like "put it in a blind trust account old sport 😂" it's the fantasy of that world that doesn't really exist anymore like in movies like Don't Worry Darling.
@@Iquey interesting, I’m curious now!
Excellent post. What a likeable guest.
What an amazing collaboration!
I grew up in NYC & did my full schooling there. Having lived on the west coast for a few years now, I would only want to raise my kids there. I want them to have similar experiences and be exposed to different people, ideas, and cultures. Most places feel very cookie cutter.
What a wonderful guest! I loved this episode!
I absolutely loved this conversation/interview!!
This is a phenomenal interview. Thank you! Love your channel 🙂.
Dutch! Love your content on all platforms, so happy to see you here too! I got pushed out of NYC by the rent prices, and then a month later… won the housing lottery. It was “only” 2800 for a 2 bed. 😅
Dallas has a similar concept called in town units. I stayed in a building that allowed 10% of there apartments for the program. It wasn’t a lottery though. They would update the website whenever those apartments were available and you just have to apply and make sure your salary was in a particular range so proof of income every year was mandatory. At the time market rent waa $1400-$1800 but I only paid $910 plus utilities ans a parking spot. It was a very nice high rise in downtown Dallas. I think the rent has gone up slightly though for the program.
Money doesn't buy happiness, but it does help ensure a status quo that mitigates unhappiness and protects against events that would be catastrophic for someone of a lower socioeconomic class.
Its nice to see representation. My oldest sibbling and I are the few in our family that ever experienced a similar situation where our parents essentially pulled out of poverty and that resulted in us going to a public school with kids from wealth. We were also located in an area where the closest community college to us resided in a rich neighborhood. Pretty much all the rich kids who were too dumb to make it into a university or college ended up here. The privilege was unreal to the point one of my professors even agreed and told me he hated how racist people were. Alot of wealth people say the most dehumanizing things because they have never been told otherwise. If they wanted to they could destroy your career just because they didn't like you. Like my ears even hearing privledge young adults saying things like trashing their brand new car because it wasnt the car they wanted just sounds unreal. That kid who crashed her car got her dream car by the end of the week to replace it.
He seems like a great teacher and nanny. These kids are lucky! :)
Omg I love him! For some reason I knew you were talking about him just by the intro. There’s many of your guests that appear in your videos/podcasts. Gotta love my algorithm ❣️
I got an offer to attend a private school for senior year with a scholarship because I play a less popular musical instrument and the school orchestra needed someone. Part of the reason I refused was because 1) I wanted to spend senior year with my friends at public school, & 2) I didn't want to deal with feeling like an outsider as a new kid and a scholarship kid (many of the students are showbiz nepo babies).
Dutch seems lovely. Shocking about his experience applying for housing in NYC 😢 i had no idea it was THAT bad. If only there was more affordable housing.
This guy is so wholesome!
I am so happy for Dutch 🙂!
Wow what a kind soul this human is. Loved this interview!
“Gay Fran Drescher.” Intended to be an insult but a really the highest of compliments, so joke’s on them.
And Fran was/is a gay icon! (Maybe not gay herself but the gays love her.)
I still quote Fran/The Nanny, "If it ain't half off, it ain't on sale."
❤ he should definitely be proud of his voice and his accent ❤
Love this collab!!! Love Dutch!
Yaaay! I love it! Dutch is the best!
The REAL privilege is being loved - brought up in a functional family where you are given time, attention, care and love. The three year old in business class might not, in fact, have that.
That is simpler from a certain level of material comfort. No matter how much my parents love me if it's between showing that and keeping a roof over my head it's difficult to convey
A long time ago I was quasi babysitting kids from “normal backgrounds” along with kids of UHMW. I can relate to the stories.
Omg I was not expecting Dutch!
Great interview. I enjoyed all of it. Thanks Dutch!
Not sure where else to request this, but I'm a college student about to transfer and take on more loans, and I'm really overwhelmed with trying to understand what the best way to navigate these financial decisions is. I'm first generation and receiving no family aid (despite EFC factoring into my financial aid package), and feel totally unprepared to take on this financial responsibility and would love some guidance and real life examples.
I LOVED this video! Fantastic questions and perfectly done interview
What I learned is;
Protect your space- the rich see and only hang out the rich. Very important.
I cannot tell you how man times i see something negative on others (say they get sick or see poverty or whatever) and it manifests in my life in some way ....i get annoyed i am so open to things i do want to do/see/be.
Another is city life for kids CAN be fun. I just imagine the fumes in the air, seeing extreme poverty, homelessness, crime rates, no close community etc etc but people who ACTUALLY lived there actually love it. Thats cool.
I love Dutch's accent!!
Wonderful interview. Thank you!
He's precious 💕
i love dutch!!
My two cents on the old money aesthetics : I don’t think it’s necessarily opposite to eat the rich, when poorer people appropriate rich culture, it’s becomes tacky. Let coastal grandma become tacky and what’s left for them to signal their wealth ?
@Ay Kay i love those so much 😅😂
Love this interview and this man!
i love dutch!!! this episode was awesome.
what you got him to collab with you! How exciting !! love love this
Could you guys have Shabaz says on your show? I saw a podcast with him and he is great.
Yes, think of the rants he and Chelsea could have!
10:20, 19:50, 22:20, 27:00-27:30-28:30, 31:50, 36:00, 37:40, 42:00, 43:50, 47:50, 52:35
What a delightful guest! Off to find him on Instagram. 😊
Omg I love Dutch!! Excited to listen :)
I love Dutch!!
Basic thing should be universal healthcare. I will never understand US lack of health care access
Great interview
Money can’t buy happiness, maybe, but it can buy security. Without security, there can’t be much happiness.
Do I need to download tik tok for his content? Uugh where is his you tube channel?
When I heard the intro on the podcast I knew it was Dutch 😊
His accent is delightful 😊
Omg Dutch!!!!!! ❤❤
old money have bimodal dress sense. Either they look like Audrey Hepburn or they're wearing dorky sweaters with mismatched jeans or sweatpants. There's no middle ground.
As for houses being super out of date, can confirm. They're well upkept though, from what I see. They invest in all things quality and durability. I mean, if you had 200 year old furniture that was beautiful and impeccably maintained, why would you need to buy more?
Old money folks also take pride in driving old pre-owned cars until they break. They also invest an insane amount in environmental conservation because part of being old money is having this mentality of preserving wealth for future generations - that mentality is easily extended to include the planet. Virtually every old money person I know has a "bag full of bags," recycles and repurposes everything, and uses things until they are no longer usable (but not falling apart, that's kind of an overstatement).
It's a surprisingly sustainable lifestyle IMO.
It's interesting. Thanks for sharing. I would think having so much money gives on the freedom to be and do what whatever they want yet many often choose to belong to clubs and such where they all have to behave /believe /be very similar
But it's for the good of the future generations 😅
7 high rises in 10 years is crazy!!!!!!!
I've never heard a rich person say that money doesn't buy happiness. Not saying they say the opposite either. But that particular saying - I have never heard it from a rich person.
Also that house in the Hamptons is comes with a 30k+ tax bill and probably 30-60k maintenance depending on how close to sea you are. And the insurance is probably another 5 to 20k depending on location.
So if you live in the NYC (considering NY and NYC taxes) - having that house alone is 200k of pre-tax income. So 'just having a house in the Hamptons' - presupposes realistically 500k+ annual income to maintain it.
Omg LOVE Dutch!!!!
Wow. How is income supposed to match a 16% rent hike?
I will never live in a big city like that for the reasons mentioned. Right now around the greater Kansas City, Missouri is getting eaten up investors who buy up inexpensive ranch houses and rent them out for 2x the amount their worth for a 10 year mortgage/month to pay them off and make money off them. The housing market had doubled in just 5 years from people coming from the west cost. Its insane . 5 years ago with the pay my husband and I make we could have afforded a home now we cant.
Woahhhhhh Dutch! These financial talks are all well and good but DROP THAT SNKINCARE ROUTINE!!😲