Should Christian Kids Date in High School? W/ Jason Evert
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 มิ.ย. 2024
- Jason and I talk about dating, and the troubles we see plaguing young Christians looking to start a new relationship.
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People who look at pornography only see other people as objects. Some people don't even know that they deserve so much more. I pray that all people will know their true worth. Especially young people.
My own experience says no. High school students have no idea what they're doing. Very seldom do high school relationships result in good fruit. They're more likely to case lasting emotional damage
Only about 5% I'd say work out and are true Christ centered love. The problem is the other 95% think they're that 5% and think what they have is true love. 🙄
Chatowa Muzumara 10A I know it's so crazy. Where are you from?
Chatowa Muzumara the United States. Come visit lol
Chatowa Muzumara I need a good catholic wife haha
We can date if we want anyway
The truth in this video!!! I’m a senior in high school and haven’t had a boyfriend yet; and I wouldn’t have done it any other way! I am so much more mature than all the boys at my school and know for sure that they are not mature enough to date me haha. The pros just don’t outweigh the cons...at all. THANK YOU for this video!!!
My golden 4 rules
1. Find a Christian girl
2. Make sure the relationship is lining up with the bible standards
3. If your going to date the goal should be to marry that person
4. She better make a good mother
I think we need to go back to younger people being treated like older people and given more responsibilities. Maturity levels get lower and lower because we coddle the younger generation more and more.
I’m not saying give them all the freedoms, but start actually preparing them for it.
Which is what they say in the video, kind of. I think that things would get better on the dating seen if that happened.
Currently engaged to my high school girlfriend!
How did you get through college though?
@@christianavancena7832 Go to the same college lol.
Ok
In terms of dating in high school, I think majority of the time, most guys in high school don't have the maturity to handle dating in high school, as it was mentioned in this video. However with that said, I have seen high school relationships that have carried on past high school. That's great, but majority of the time that doesn't happen because guys can't handle the burden and they don't take dating as preparation for marriage. I didn't date anyone in high school, though I might have came close, and honestly it was probably good for me that I didn't. I wasn't totally prepared at the time.
But on the other hand they need to mature somehow. Guys need to learn how to date at some point and sooner rather than later is better
Wow there was a lot of wisdom packed into this short video... (and I'm married!). Thank you both.
I wish I hadn't dated in high school. It was emotionally damaging
What??? How so??
you had to learn to cope somehow
As a teen what I’ve heard and seen love is the most abused word we as most teens like to twist the definition of love or misunderstand it.
Thanks for sharing this! I agree wholeheartedly with what you both said here. God bless you both! Peace be with you!
I think in most cases, no. Simply because the chances of two people being mature enough for that kind of relationship is uncommon.
I agree.
I never thought about it like this but I wonder if part of the current trend of women complaining about "toxic masculinity" starts when they date too young and the poor boys just aren't mature enough to handle feminine emotions so they come off as "toxic" aka not sensitive to the woman's needs.
Great conversation!
I actually agree but to me uni is the time. No high schooler needs to be thinking bout marriage and from my exposure(talking as a kid in dubai) nobody can think bout marriage.
Being afraid of commitment or wanting to keep your options open is something I've heard from many guys, but I've never been able to relate to it myself. I was never afraid of commitment or interested in keeping my options open. I was always very certain if I liked a girl, even back in high school, and I rarely "liked" anyone that way. In fact I can count the women I've liked over the course of the past 36 years of my life on a single hand.
Unfortunately I'm painfully shy, though, with pretty low self confidence. My brother was the exact opposite, he was extremely extroverted and loved being the center of attention. And I've often felt like the more extroverted he became, the more shy and introverted I seemed to become, as if I was unintentionally balancing it out.
Through some kind of miracle I ended up having long, meaningful relationships with three of those beautiful, wonderful, powerful women in spite of my shyness and lack of confidence. (Not at the same time, of course. :P). But again whenever I've entered into a relationship with someone, it has always been a serious, committed relationship, with the intention to get married, I've never dated casually, I've never quit a relationship because I grew tired of it or felt overwhelmed by the commitment. If anything I felt the commitment was something I wanted to cherish. In fact I vividly remember the extreme gratitude I felt for it every time it happened.
The relationship with my first great love ended after she became the victim of rape at the hands of a stranger. The trauma she suffered ended up destroying our relationship, and the fact that it did feels like a terrible failure on my part. We never argued over it or anything, and I certainly tried to support her, but I clearly fell short or she would not have left. She was hurting and I was unable to comfort her sufficiently, or make her feel safe again after what had been done to her. That's on me, and I feel terrible about it.
My second great love came years later. Again a beautiful, strong and intelligent woman. Unfortunately she came from a Muslim family, and while she herself was not a practicing Muslim her family made it clear there would be serious consequences if we married without me converting to Islam first. It was definitely a threatening situation, and it still breaks my heart thinking about it. A lot of tears were shed over it by both of us, as well as my mother who absolutely adored her and viewed her as her own daughter.
I really hope she is well, and God is watching over her.
Thank you for sharing your story.❤
If a couple dates in high school and actually want to get married, they should not delay and make turn away from a long-distance relationship. If they are both properly formed in Catholic teaching on the vocation of marriage they should look to be in the same location. You will be your happiest if you start your vocation as soon as you know what God wants.
You’re dating someone because you want to marry them and to be a spouse. We are not dating to be “friends.” That should be the first intention of every relationship.
Thank you brothers this helps
mmm I want to say yes, but in my own experience I dated once and it ended horribly as I wasn't ready for that level of commitment and I didn't understand the needs of the woman I was dating. Granted I don't think she understood mine either, but as the man in the relationship I should have realized sooner it wasn't going to work out.
I think you have to take it case by case. I got married at 19 after dating my now husband for a couple years, and we've been together for a decade. I knew I wanted marriage early on, and that idea generally didn't align with what high school boys want. Before God lead me to the right guy, dating felt like practice for divorce. If I had waited I might have avoided an abusive relationship (though I learned a lot about what love should be by experiencing what it's not, and God used that). I have mixed feelings about dating in high school. It was bad and then good for me.
Cool story with his grandfather flying over Burma in WW2. The 'greatest generation' largely had their priorities in order.
My thoughts on this topic are sorta odd. I see the answer about High School students is basically saying, "How can we conform to this world". The world says that you go to college, get a job, etc. Nothing in the Bible says that one is to wait for marriage. Rather the Bible says that marriage is truly a path to holiness. I'd suggest that we focus on what is a fulfilling life as Jesus has outlined, rather than blindly following the expectations of the world.
Okay, Bob Jones university in Greenville, SC. Only allows to students to date on campus only and in a public place on campus that is chaperone while it is open. BJU is a Fundelmentist Bible only School.
Maturity is one thing, that is real. But going to college is realy not a must! So if you find a good person and you are both serious, then why waste best years of your life seperated - change college plans and marry. And girl can date older guys. I met my husband when I was 18, he is much older than me and we got married when I just turned 21. Having a family was my number one priority, not going to school.
Pairing off in high school is ill-advised, but guys and girls getting used to spending time with the opposite sex by getting coffee, etc. can be helpful
Didn’t Timothy Gordon go over, that we have to marry young as Catholic Men? I say dating in Junior and Senior years are more than good for you, especially if your driven to marriage. It’s a Vocation.
Exactly!
Thank you!
Title of Vid Starts @6:08... You're welcome:)
I think you should date in highschool if you plan to get married as young as possible. I know a guy who got engaged to a 17 yr old and he's 20 they are both mature for thier age, and I have no doubts it will work out long term.
As soon as you tell them they can't date... then that is exactly what they will do whether you like it or not. It's basic human psychology.
They're not simply saying no. They spent ten minutes discussing their position on why it's not good. They're not simply giving demands.
That’s such a nihilistic way of viewing relationships for high schoolers. Though they lack emotional and psychological intelligence , It’s really not that deep. There are lessons that these kids can learn. Now this just makes Catholics sound like puritans.
Dating in hs is risky
Prudes is actually a better word.
yes
I love you guys but I think you couldn’t be more wrong on several major points. The whole “season of friendship”, etc., is advice that only really makes sense for high school students or others of truly impaired maturity. It’s also too similar to “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” which basically ruined the landscape for young Christian men and women for about ten years.
I also guarantee that most of the time if a girl likes a guy (which is the real issue, guy’s liking girls is much more common), she does not make him wait it out as a friend. It’s not even the same kind of relationship, really because it has a different telos. Also for a guy to “be friends first”, you can get where you’re trying to go with chaste dating. The whole group of young guys and girls hanging out together only really happens under 25 and on TV anyway.
Of course you are zeroed in right about chastity, marrying a virtuous woman, having your own spiritual act together, don’t get me wrong. All of that is deadly prerequisite important. But none of what you’re recommending is what healthy societies did in even the more recent past.
There is no “approach women” but “be friends first”. How did we go from WW2 generation men fearlessly pursuing wives to “but be friends first, for maybe even years bro”?
Seriously I love both you guys but this is sideways and we’ve been here before and it’s a disaster.
The fact is that we should teach teens to be mature in order to marry in the near future and not that we should tell them to date when they are teenagers. I legitimately have direct contact with people from this age, and telling them to date is spiritual suicide. For the record, I have a teen sister.
In my view, this is where you miss the point. See, in times of "to whom do I listen to?" in terms of Catholic teaching, I like to hear more traditional priests, and they say something very similar to this video, drawing to pre-CVII recommendations. While I do not deny the latter, such teachings can serve as a parameter for what Catholic teaching about the matter used to be.
So they say that young people should not be totally alone when meeting and never be alone (with no one near) altogether. They also should start dating only when there is a possibility of marriage in the near future (between 1 and 2 years) and must keep some distance and respect as friends who are reasonably discerning. In this fashion, is it correct to tell teen people to date based in a past figure, like the WWII one? Are they ready to marry already?
Of course they should be encouraged to mature and grow up as soon as possible, and here I see where you are trying to go, but dating is not the place to do it, specially when sexual temptations are prone to kick in.
Who is this guy Matt is talking to? He’s great…….ah Jason Evert. I’ve found a new friend.
Yeah, that's good
stuckmann
Hi, I need some help from anyone.
I'm 14 and from England. Recently I've been feeling like a terrible christian. I've fallen into a cycle of porn, lying, swearing, stealing. My parents are devout christians and so are some of my friends. Last week I went to a youth event with around 100 young christians. I can't help but find myself comparing myself to all the others. All of them were praying, getting prophetic word/ pictures/ raising their arms etc. But no matter how hard i tried nothing seemed to happen. I can't help but feel evetines is better/ more loved than me. I've had prayers for heeling before but i can be rt seem to hear god. What am I doing wrong? I'm in a very bad place at the moment and have tried to commit suicide before. I self harm and hate my life - this one tiny bit of faith i have is all i seem to be keeping me going. Help please.
How are you now?
@@adriel115_ slightly better thanks im just still super stressed. I haven't had any thoughts about hurting myself it ending it all for over a week now
Hey,I hope you’re doing well.I just wanted to let you know that that tiny bit of faith you have now might seem small and like it can’t do nothing ,but it is more than enough.In Matthew 17 there is a man who calls upon Jesus to heal his possessed son because his own disciples could not,but that was because the disciples had literally no faith,they could not do it.Then Jesus says, “Truly I say to you that if you even have faith as small as a grain of a mustard seed you shall unto this mountain be removed and it shall obey you,and nothing shall be impossible for you.”Matt. 17:20 When I saw your comment I thought of this for you.I know I don’t know you but I care about you and want you to know that even faith this small can move the biggest of problems,and when you keep using your faith despite how small it is,it’ll grow.I pray that all is well with you.
God bless you, remember He loves you
I love how these guys are all about parental choice ... but don’t mention this once in all of their “advice”.
The Burj Khalifa is in Dubai, not Abu Dhabi.
No.
Should Christians date at all? No dating in the Bible. Engagement is there after all, as a period where you can still change your mind, but showing to the world you are serious.
It's still better to date before marriage because you should know that person who are you marrying. But it's people's business if they wanna date or not.
Romans 10:13
“For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Arranged marriage solves all the problem✨
Who was your arranged marriage partner
This is an issue for individual parents. Just butt out.
Lmao dude these guys have like 5 or 6 kids each, they're über parents
@@TrollsFormers05 My point is that individual couples are responsible for making decisions for their children. So Matt and his pal should butt out.
And, not for nothing, but having lots of kids doesn't make you, de facto, a good parent. You can be a crappy parent with lots of kids.