Recent subscriber and I thought I’d go back and check out your older videos. You seem a lot happier in your newer videos and I’m glad. You say in this video that “who would care about a 41 year old man” Just gonna say that a random 39yr old English father or 2 cares bro. I don’t know you and never will but I can tell you that I’m genuinely happy and proud of what you’re doing. Keep up the amazing effort, happy to be along for the journey.
My heart literally breaks for you. I'm in a very similar situation myself. I understand and emphasize with your pain. I commend you for your transparency and I applaud your effort. I have no clue how I came across your video but I do believe in divine intervention. I thank you so much for sharing your struggle and please know that you are not alone, despite the isolating feelings you may have. I pray that we both may find some peace amidst the storm.
You gotta let up on yourself 🙏🏼❤️ your beating yourself up over everything, look at your positives. You are alive, you got back on subs, your reaching out on here for help, that takes a lot of courage and that’s great that you can see and admit your faults. You have a vehicle, you gave clothes, your not on the streets. Try to work everything into a positive way. You got this 🙏🏼
You are NOT a lost cause. You are going to do good! I am praying for you. This world here on earth wasn’t supposed to be all rainbows and butterflies! We are born into a sinful world so you are going to push through this. Keep talking to the good Lord and putting everything in his hands !! ❤
Glad to see you posted again! Our Michigan roads are beyond terrible! They decide to start placing construction cones everywhere but yet, don't start the work! I commented a minute ago but it didn't show up 🤔 but anyways, I'm sorry your struggling. Just know that we're here whenever you want to vent or need advice etc
Please don’t ever give up on yourself! Life has its ups and downs. Never let the devil win. Do things that make you happy. Ask the judge if you can have a license only to go to work and back home. That way you can still make an income and keep a roof over your head. So many people loved the videos that you were posting. I know that I personally looked forward to an update each and every day. Stay accountable and look to God. ✨🙌🏻 Things can only go up from here. Try and remain positive. ❤
Matt I missed you brother! Hey no matter what you’re going through hmu and email me if ya wanna truly talk. And if ya want my cell # i feel comfortable giving you that. But right now I just want you to know a lot of us will support you. Dude I’ve messed up too, but we pick ourselves up. My best friend got 3 DUIS and lost his for 10 years! 12 months will go by fast. You are a good dude I am a judge good of character. The substance abuse isn’t the real you. I’m glad you’re posting again. Stay in contact bro!
Bro keep it up . But man you had 54 days off subs.... just do a proper taper this time until you get down to .001 mg and it will get better man & hit a meeting meet people going thru the same shit.... fck man i can relate so heavy to ur struggles coming off subs
You didn’t get that way in one day so you won’t get back in one day!! Get through one day at a time. Don’t stress about the future live for today. Will pray that things get better.
I feel you man. I don't mind being alone but being lonely sucks. Plus just once you hit 40 you get more nostalgic and depressed. Mid life crisis? Testosterone levels? I don't know what it is but I don't like it.
@@lost4199 I'm thinking of trying testosterone replacement therapy so I can get my youthful energy back. I don't know man, it's like our second puberty, you're wiser but I miss the ignorance is bliss years. I think some of it has to do with always waiting until your next script so you're constantly wishing away days to get to the refill date. You look back and ten years has gone by so fast. You go from fun loving young man to old all of a sudden. It catches up quick.
Cute sayings dont fix things, but "if the mountain was smooth, we wouldnt be able to climb it". Even if the bumps are caused by us or not, when we overcome them, we move up. You wont be able to do this on your own. I've tried for a long time. I've pastored and preached for years and its easy for me to think i was invincible until I got addicted to pain meds. So Im still at 1mg/Subs a day bc I'm trying to go it alone. My opinon...You've spoke of spiritual matters before....You need to find a church and BE there. Surround yourself with God's people. I isolated myself bc I was ashamed of what I did...But that isnt the answer. Trust Me. Find a church bro. I get the mental/negative strain...And no need for apologies.
Hey Patrick.G. I'm so glad to hear from you again. I agree with you. I really am relying on him the best I can right now lol. This is embarrassing for me to make this video but you guys do help and it's going to be ok.
@@lost4199 Matt, bro ive been embarrassed for the last 10 yrs since my pill habit started and I had to resign the church I pastored....That can be crippling. Dont let it be. Forget everyone else. Do it for YOU right now. Doesnt matter what others think. Fence mending can happen later. Way later. Right now, just need to get back "home".
Cut the booze, it seems that is the drug that really screws you. I’m back on kratom too, I’m planning on doing Ibogaine. It’s time to reach out to Kickin Addiction
@@lost4199 Matt I think it’s the way to go with chronic relapsers like us. We need to change our way of thinking! I am just like you, I feel like a piece of shit for being back at square one all the time. It’s time to bring the heavy hitter, because this is no way to live. I actually found a source
If you can't get your license to go to work, why don't you come up with a business plan during the winter and start a business? Even if you can't start it until you get your license back, it will keep your mind busy putting the plans and everything together during the winter.
@@lost4199 Trust in Him. Tell Him everything and He will guide you. He's giving you a spanking now, getting your attention I believe. He has plans for you.
Damn bro I’ve been searching for your obituary💔. It’s like I can feel that you’re struggling. Did you block my number? I’ve been trying to reach you for months. I’m sorry you’re struggling, but I’m happy you’re back on subs. I could tell the drinking was becoming an issue and I know that you’re in a jam now with the dui. You’ll find the silver lining in this, I might not happen today or tomorrow. But sooner or later you’re going to realize that this HAD TO HAPPEN. I promise you that 100%. You have my number bro, text me anytime you need someone to chat with. I’ll stop buggin now, you know where to find me. I’ve been praying for you, for what it’s worth. Thanks for the update, we’re just glad you’re still here with us. Hang in there bro. 💪 -Kevin
Recent subscriber and I thought I’d go back and check out your older videos.
You seem a lot happier in your newer videos and I’m glad.
You say in this video that “who would care about a 41 year old man”
Just gonna say that a random 39yr old English father or 2 cares bro.
I don’t know you and never will but I can tell you that I’m genuinely happy and proud of what you’re doing.
Keep up the amazing effort, happy to be along for the journey.
Thanks for thar heart felt message. It means a lot
My heart literally breaks for you. I'm in a very similar situation myself. I understand and emphasize with your pain. I commend you for your transparency and I applaud your effort. I have no clue how I came across your video but I do believe in divine intervention. I thank you so much for sharing your struggle and please know that you are not alone, despite the isolating feelings you may have. I pray that we both may find some peace amidst the storm.
You gotta let up on yourself 🙏🏼❤️ your beating yourself up over everything, look at your positives. You are alive, you got back on subs, your reaching out on here for help, that takes a lot of courage and that’s great that you can see and admit your faults. You have a vehicle, you gave clothes, your not on the streets. Try to work everything into a positive way. You got this 🙏🏼
I feel the same way like what did I do to deserve this crap. I feel cursed too. Nothing ever goes good.
You are NOT a lost cause. You are going to do good! I am praying for you. This world here on earth wasn’t supposed to be all rainbows and butterflies! We are born into a sinful world so you are going to push through this. Keep talking to the good Lord and putting everything in his hands !! ❤
Glad to see you posted again! Our Michigan roads are beyond terrible! They decide to start placing construction cones everywhere but yet, don't start the work! I commented a minute ago but it didn't show up 🤔 but anyways, I'm sorry your struggling. Just know that we're here whenever you want to vent or need advice etc
Please don’t ever give up on yourself! Life has its ups and downs. Never let the devil win. Do things that make you happy. Ask the judge if you can have a license only to go to work and back home. That way you can still make an income and keep a roof over your head. So many people loved the videos that you were posting. I know that I personally looked forward to an update each and every day. Stay accountable and look to God. ✨🙌🏻 Things can only go up from here. Try and remain positive. ❤
I'm really sorry for letting everyone down. Thank you for the kind words.
@@lost4199 please tell me where you are?
Matt I missed you brother! Hey no matter what you’re going through hmu and email me if ya wanna truly talk. And if ya want my cell # i feel comfortable giving you that. But right now I just want you to know a lot of us will support you. Dude I’ve messed up too, but we pick ourselves up. My best friend got 3 DUIS and lost his for 10 years! 12 months will go by fast. You are a good dude I am a judge good of character. The substance abuse isn’t the real you. I’m glad you’re posting again. Stay in contact bro!
Thanks Robert. I would love to talk. Mattrg6452@gmail.com
Bro keep it up . But man you had 54 days off subs.... just do a proper taper this time until you get down to .001 mg and it will get better man & hit a meeting meet people going thru the same shit.... fck man i can relate so heavy to ur struggles coming off subs
You didn’t get that way in one day so you won’t get back in one day!! Get through one day at a time. Don’t stress about the future live for today. Will pray that things get better.
Hang in there brother seek Jesus full surrender he will catch u god bless I care about u
I feel you man. I don't mind being alone but being lonely sucks. Plus just once you hit 40 you get more nostalgic and depressed. Mid life crisis? Testosterone levels? I don't know what it is but I don't like it.
Ya all that stuff. I started thinking a out death a lot and worrying about that all the sudden lol. Wtf man.
@@lost4199 I'm thinking of trying testosterone replacement therapy so I can get my youthful energy back. I don't know man, it's like our second puberty, you're wiser but I miss the ignorance is bliss years. I think some of it has to do with always waiting until your next script so you're constantly wishing away days to get to the refill date. You look back and ten years has gone by so fast. You go from fun loving young man to old all of a sudden. It catches up quick.
Cute sayings dont fix things, but "if the mountain was smooth, we wouldnt be able to climb it". Even if the bumps are caused by us or not, when we overcome them, we move up. You wont be able to do this on your own. I've tried for a long time. I've pastored and preached for years and its easy for me to think i was invincible until I got addicted to pain meds. So Im still at 1mg/Subs a day bc I'm trying to go it alone. My opinon...You've spoke of spiritual matters before....You need to find a church and BE there. Surround yourself with God's people. I isolated myself bc I was ashamed of what I did...But that isnt the answer. Trust Me. Find a church bro. I get the mental/negative strain...And no need for apologies.
Hey Patrick.G. I'm so glad to hear from you again. I agree with you. I really am relying on him the best I can right now lol. This is embarrassing for me to make this video but you guys do help and it's going to be ok.
@@lost4199 Matt, bro ive been embarrassed for the last 10 yrs since my pill habit started and I had to resign the church I pastored....That can be crippling. Dont let it be. Forget everyone else. Do it for YOU right now. Doesnt matter what others think. Fence mending can happen later. Way later. Right now, just need to get back "home".
Not whiny for expressing your feelings and thoughts, man. I don't know you, but I care.
Thanks Cappy
Cut the booze, it seems that is the drug that really screws you. I’m back on kratom too, I’m planning on doing Ibogaine. It’s time to reach out to Kickin Addiction
I might try ibogain
@@lost4199 Matt I think it’s the way to go with chronic relapsers like us. We need to change our way of thinking! I am just like you, I feel like a piece of shit for being back at square one all the time. It’s time to bring the heavy hitter, because this is no way to live. I actually found a source
If you can't get your license to go to work, why don't you come up with a business plan during the winter and start a business? Even if you can't start it until you get your license back, it will keep your mind busy putting the plans and everything together during the winter.
I guess my comment was deleted by YT check your YT messages to see if they held it for your review. ❤ let me know if you find it Matt.
Ok I hope I didn't offend u
I'm going to make something out of this for better or worse. It's gonna be ok I think.
@@lost4199 no no not at all. I wrote my phone number so they might hold it "for review" you know you can't leave links or numbers 😃
@@lost4199 Trust in Him. Tell Him everything and He will guide you. He's giving you a spanking now, getting your attention I believe. He has plans for you.
Where are you now?
I'm at a thrift store currently
Damn bro I’ve been searching for your obituary💔. It’s like I can feel that you’re struggling. Did you block my number? I’ve been trying to reach you for months. I’m sorry you’re struggling, but I’m happy you’re back on subs. I could tell the drinking was becoming an issue and I know that you’re in a jam now with the dui. You’ll find the silver lining in this, I might not happen today or tomorrow. But sooner or later you’re going to realize that this HAD TO HAPPEN. I promise you that 100%. You have my number bro, text me anytime you need someone to chat with. I’ll stop buggin now, you know where to find me. I’ve been praying for you, for what it’s worth. Thanks for the update, we’re just glad you’re still here with us. Hang in there bro. 💪 -Kevin
And no you didn’t say anything rude to me bro. You just vanished is all.