We'll muddle along without you. But keep in mind that the more you take charge, the more you butch yourselves up, the more you ostracize men... the less attractive you become to men. Men (unless they're gay) are not attracted to butch-beaches. So, good luck with your life without dique. I hope you prefer the flatter shoe.
I love this. And let’s not stop at romance and love interests. You have toxic brothers, cousins, uncles, FATHERS. Don’t be afraid to liberate yourself from them as well. We deserve to be happy, ladies. In all aspects.
Wow, that's a lot of effort... wouldn't it be easier and simpler to apply that same effort into your appearance. Maybe not eat that tub of peanut butter.. throw on some makeup once in a while etc. If you want to be all independent and masculine then resign yourselves to the fact that men are not interested in masculine women. You want to wear the pants, you want to take charge, you want things your way... then no dique for you, ever. Not even a little one. Zero dique.
@@hardcandy71287 Well me and brothers don't even speak! My youngest one is out there smoking crack and my oldest is 46 still confused about whether he want a man or woman.
@hanzbrixx6672 No, I haven't participated in decentering men, but I do understand why a lot of women are doing this... after working with women who have been abused by men, they tend to put up a wall to avoid being emotionally, mentally, and physically abused.
I decentered men a couple years ago. It is the best decision I have ever made. I feel better my income is doubled I’m purchasing a house next year and I am getting back on track with my fitness. I have been so happy. I’m glad more women are waking up.
When trying to ban abortion I've heard so many people use the excuse she should just keep her legs closed and then she wouldn't have to worry about it. Well here you go fellows, she's keeping her legs closed😂😂😂😂😂😂
So you got bored and blew-up 3 marriages like some kind of nuptual parasite migrating from one host to another.. those poor men. I hope they thrived without you.
Social programming is powerful drug, I'm lucky to have been born at a time where 'not picking anyone' but yourself truly is valid option. It's idiotic that walking away from dysfunctional relationships is seen as the wrong option. Focusing on fostering friendships and hobbies is way better than trying to find that one 'special person'. Codependent relationships are seen as the ideal by lot of folks and that needs major brain scrubbing to get rid off.
@@beccf.s.8012He’s the KS of today😂😂😂😂. He’s holding women “accountable” because it’s his mission to micromanage women and their bodies. He’s inserting himself in women’s spaces because he can’t stand not being the centre of women’s lives. Look at how much attention we’re giving him.RP men are the funniest. 😂😂😂
Sure. You marry the beach, have a kid or two with her... then 10 years down the line she needs to go "find herself" with the help of her yoga-instructor leaving the guy to apply for visitation privileges to see his own kids, she takes the house that he has to pay for, she takes half of his assets and he still needs to pay child-support to her. Men prefer younger women because they're not jaded like you beaches are. The more you take charge, the more masculine you become.... and (unless they're gay) men don't want masculine women. We'll find a nice, feminine, 18 year old girl and hand-raise her instead.
Facts they do replace. Woman are just candy for the picking on dating apps. The first disagreement or meh feeling they go back in to swipe at candy 🍭 store
@mysticalvibe4241 I'm 44 years old, the last Tinder date I went on was with an 18 year and 3 month young kitten. LItereally, she was a fury.. fluffy butplug 'tail', the ears.. it was kind of cute actually. Why would I want to date a woman who has hit the wall when I can date that bouncing-ball of sexual energy? As a woman, your value lies in your age and your looks because you bring exactly nothing else to the table.
@@MrJBA79 EXACTLY. HENCE THE MOVEMENT OF DE-CENTERING FROM HAVING A MAN IN ONE'S LIFE, ESPECIALLY NOT THE CENTER. EVEN FAMILY MEMBERS. LOL. MEANING YOUR OPINION AND ANY OTHER MAN'S OPINION WILL ABSOLUTELY NOT HOLD ANY WEIGHT. ESPECIALLY A STRANGER'S. NOR DO WE CARE IF OURS DOSEN'T WITH YOU. YOU SHOULD GO COMMENT ON A VIDEO MADE FOR MEN.😉🤣✌️👋
So many women see this as extreme, but honestly the more self-respect and confidence you have, the more likely you are to end up single anyway 😭 most men know they ain’t shit and will put you through hell just to lower your self esteem and keep you dependent on him. The more you love and respect yourself the less likely you are to tolerate male shenanigans.
I'm 20 but younger than that growing unlearning many things also, realizing the harmful deep conditioning as to what my "purpose" as a women is has made me realize I never really wanted this traditional stuff nor do I want marriage nor kids and who cares about gender roles, I was forced into "wanting" this when I didn't. I don't really desire relationships with men but if it happens great but, the way men are moving and not changing for the better good then I'd rather stay single than miserable. As an introvert who loves my company while cherishing those around me, loves books, animals and nature like I am completely fine alone nor do I feel lonely either. I focus on my mind, body and soul setting boundaries, dressing in what makes me feel good, doing the work to become a better version of me everyday plus ever since I watched the barbie movie, I swear I came out a new women😭💕
@@0fficialselena__90 I'm 19 amd I feel the same but maybe it's because im intrested in women more so that could be the factor either way me and you think the same way
I'm a guy and it's exciting that this is happening. Women need to take their destiny into their own hands. For all the talk in red pill circles about women "hitting the wall" and being unhappy and lonely it turns out that men are the ones that are unhappy and lonely. If that weren't true then why is there so much talk about "male loneliness" these days? It's an epidemic at this point. Seems like the men are the ones who need women more than women need men.
Don't listen to them red Pillers the best one to tell our stories is us. There's no such thing as hitting the wall for a woman. They say anything to you guys so that you can buy their courses that means they have to come up with something when it comes to us in order to make a course. I am 45 years old and most of these men think I am 28 -30 and what I found interesting is that a lot of these men have become so desperate they are in fact chasing after older women and having sex with woman past 65! These guys chase after me more that I'm in my forty's then when I was in my twenty's! So, women are not hitting the wall. I also know plenty of beautiful healthy women in their 40s like me. I think the problem with many men is that many of them know that they can't challenge us on an intellectual or social level in which we will not find that attractive this is why they tried to place up a wall on us. LMAO I just find it to be so childish dear.
@@sweetonyxakararegem692 thank you for sharing your side of things, it helps to see more clearly. It's as if the red pill stuff was invented by men to hide the fact that they are desperate for women's time and attention and being frustrated that women don't want anything to do with them. Thankfully it seems like it might be dying little by little. Fresh and fit was just demonetized for good. That's cause for joy!
This isn’t ground breaking he’s literally just repeating back to you words he’s heard from women on this topic so you can maintain hope that maybe some men might finally be getting it. He hasn’t added anything original showing he hasn’t truly thought about this topic. He’s just saying what he’s knows you want to hear so you won’t truly truly decenter men. It’s just temporary adaptation/ facade. Like a guy who pretends to be a feminist to bed women.
As a woman who grew up in the states until middle school, then went abroad and attended all - female schools I've noticed something interesting. Girls who attend these all-female schools tend to naturally decenter men. Yes, there will always be that natural curiosity and attraction towards the opposite gender, but those girls had their own identities that weren't built around male validation. I remember how obsessed girls were even before puberty to please and attract boys. Girls would constantly compete and fight each other. However, in the female school girls would bond with each other, share books, play games and talk about their interest and future plans instead of obsessing over boys. I remember playing tag, having push up competitions and so much more with my classmates.
+ to add majority of my classmates now are university graduates working as doctors, lawyers, pharmacist, scientist and so much more. Maybe one or two became house wives (there is nothing wrong with it). But what I am saying is segregated schools helps build females identifies that are not dependent on male validation.
I agree, my sister went to an all girls boarding school and she caught the bs way faster than I did, I decentered men years ago before I even knew what it was called, I was just done with being a prop for patriarchy and opted out of the game all together. before then, I used to try not to offend men and tried being their friend 😂😂 but most of them don’t have enough empathy to pay good with good, I learnt soon enough that I had to make a change for my own preservation.
Yes! I went to an all-girls boarding school and this is very true. It changes in University where young men and women attend classes and functions together.
@mysteriouscliche I wish I went to an all girls school from young and I'm 20 now😭 Being in a school that also had men was the worst thing ever and traumatizing😅
@@0fficialselena__90 you don't absolutely need to have gone to an all-girls school. Just start de-centering men anyways. I am going to warn you that it will drag severely on you because it doesn't come naturally to women (it seems) except for when they are out in an all-women environment for long periods of time (again, it seems...for example at a boarding school). Focus on your life goals and continuous healing from wounds (counseling, True Christian Spirituality like Catholicism, reflection and introspection, journalling, etc.). Just persevere and don't over-force romantic relationships. Focus on men who show _genuine interest in you as a person_ . Do not under any circumstance entertain men who are loud and brash with the love-talk straight out of the gate (unless if they've been friends with you for a long time... discernment is key). Focus on God. That's where my understanding of "de-centering" stems from. I placed my desire for God above my desire for men. I am in my late 30s and unmarried and 90% sure I have discerned out of the marriage market and will be going the Consecrated route. But with or without said discernment, I will still tell you that the pay-off is real!! It is worth it to be and feel like a complete and whole human being who is defined first and foremost by her Maker...before any other roles she plays on life.
My only long term ex (8 months) had the nerve to say women only date men for their money… mind you, he had no money. I reminded him of that & he agreed. Dating is not worth it lol
Seriously only males with no money say this, and usually because they are bitter that the women they want don't want them. Males salivate at the idea of getting older, and becoming more "established" in their careers because they believe their money will award them with young women. They do not have a problem with women getting with them for money at all.
This is how many men think that date beautiful women. My ex who was 44 years old in 2002. I was 32. He called me a gold digger out of the blue. . He had lost his house and his 2 BMWs to his ex wife. He didn't have them when we dated nor did he have the job that helped him garner those things. I reminded him he was living in a 1 bedroom in a bad neighborhood and drove a used Subaru I think Outback or Forester. I never said or thought anything about his car, his apartment, or his job. He did seasonal taxes. I felt like his comment was him living in his past and trying to put it on me.
My great grandma was widowed early from a much older husband. When asked why she never remarried she always said “I already had to wash one man underpants, I ain’t doin again!” Lol
All the grandmother's I know never re-married some were even as young as in their thirties including my own grandmother and she was independent and happy about her life
My grandmother is a widow now , and one lold guy who met her when she was young found out she was alone now , and he started to call her invit her to a date . I was really excited and I said oh please go on a date with him , and she said Never again. My grandad cheatead on her and was really verbal abussive. But my granmother take care of him until he died. I love my grandad buy god what a terrible partner. It was enough for her and I understand . she was really A CEO from her own company always independent, woking everywhere and with a lot of passion in life and she always said to me you need to be independant and always put yourseld first. Guess what girls - is the most difficult thing to me 😢 I have been loosing my time beggin to someone to love me.. since teeneger , now as a adult struggiling with my life economically and mentally putting others firts. And I realise finally the priority always needs to be you. Nobady will come to saves you is real. Disney is not real. And you matters
No disrespect but I don't think this is what your ancestors would want, since the beginning of time men and women both needed each other including our ancestors I think this is some new age shit, but if this what makes you happy than do it
Be prepared to never suffer from depression or body dysmorphia again no more self esteem issues and never feel jealousy again and you will have the best friendship experiences ever. ❤
We also need to decenter friendships with women who put all their energy in getting with men and ditching everyone for him. They need to be in relationships Ana can’t be with out a man. That also stands for gay male friends too who are male obsessed. Burn all those fake bridges.
I just got so tired of spending hours upon hours on the phone with these so called friends as they hash out their relationship drama. Hours….for decades….free counseling. You get off the phone just completely drained by their prattling on and on about their terrible bf. I just can’t anymore. Part of decentering men is also letting go of people obsessed with them as you stated. All of that time on the phone listening to them I though I was being a hood friend, but really they were using my energy so they could have the strength to stay in their toxic relationships. Protect your energy.
@@sharonivy888 right I don't even bother trying to give them advice, because they're always gonna put the man first. So, no matter what he does they enable him.
This is why I had to stop being friends with my best friend a few years ago. She was in a toxic relationship and would run to me as soon as they got into an argument. Then her bf would text me and tell me to tell my friend to unblock him and vice versa. It was exhausting and I wanted to talk to my friend about other stuff, but all she wanted to talk about was her toxic relationship. I'm more happy now with being alone, especially since I'm an introvert anyway.
When I first started going to the gym my mom and my aunt told me to "not get too muscled because men don't like that". Little do they know I no longer give a shit what men like
I had the same experience. I started working out and building muscles and my parents were worried that men will not find me attractive anymore. And to top it off, I decided to start competing in bodybuilding. lol. And now, a lot of men are so intrigued and love my muscles. Hahahaha
Right there with you both. I’m also a bodybuilder. I get a disrespectful comment from a man at least once a week because if you are better than him in any way, he has to take you down a notch. It’s almost always a man who isn’t fit.
Wait they called Margot Robbie mid but they picked her. The irony. I am so glad younger women are figuring it out sooner. We are going to see even more great things in the world. They are getting their life and I'm here for it.
So that what it is… I was telling my sister I’m just not interested in men right now 🤷🏾♀️ I’m just over the games. The toxic behavior is weird and unattractive.
@@andriasanders9228Do it. Male identified women bring nothing but problems and they will try and set you up or compete with you for men you’re not even looking at.
Plus, they’re only impregnating, cheating on, and killing women. Let’s be all the way, honest here… It’s more than just games, it’s a matter of saving your life
There is something spiritual about decentering men as well. I made the decision about three weeks ago to actively Decenter them. Now, I notice as I’m out and about they’ve been incredibly respectful towards me. I barely look at them and it’s like they KNOW I’m giving nothing first/if at all. 🤷🏽♀️
I’ve just said this to myself I’ve been single 3 years because I really don’t want to be bothered and they are respectful, hold doors and offer to help with anything I need lol and I still don’t want them❤
Yeah they come like flies when you are done. But be carefull the one that slipps through is a master manipulator. You have protected the vault high security. So the thieves going after it are smarter and have more skills. 😉
men biologically need us, women only ever needed them for resources but now that we can provide our own recourses we are leaving them behind, they are not handling it well
@@Lifeisgood-bv2tg lol. Even if that did happen 95% of men wouldn't be able to afford it. And 99% won't want to raise the babies themselves 😂 like how delulu can ya'll be?!
It feels so organic. I love this movement. So unconcerned with dating anymore. One thing I've noticed is that I don't feel threatened by other women's beauty, I admire it. I feel like men try to elicit jealousy among women as a way to have power. No more! Self love is beautiful, as is admiring women and loving being a woman.
Generations of men have been raised by women who centered their lives around their fathers, husbands, sons and encouraged their daughters to do the same; both women and men have work to do to forge a different way and it’s not easy but so important that it’s done. Unfortunately some men think it’s something that’s happening to them, not just around them or that they can be part of (just not the center of😅). As a man, I’m grateful for women speaking your truth and platforms like this where I can hear your voices and consider with an open mind what decentering men means for you. Thanks 🙏
My mom tried to socialize me to center men my whole life, I told her to fcuk off by doing the opposite. The reason she told me to do it was to be picked for marriage. I'm married now and I didn't have to do those things. The man I chose to marry understood the assignment, he is a true PARTNER through and through, he understands that I am human and not a possession. I treat him how I would like him to treat me and vice versa. It works, it's that simple. I don't understand why men are protesting.
The first Woman I met who decentered Men from her life was my Shero. After being twice married, widowed and divorced, she decided in her early twenties to go it alone and not make males the focus of her life. She raised two children with the help of her family, was a domestic worker by career most of her life, was the first to buy and own her own homes in a very segregated area, had substantial savings and lived single and happy until she was ninety years old! She caught a lot of pushback and condemnation from others, especially from Men, because she was way ahead of her time and of course she didn't have the technology to spread the word as we do now. Yet she still constantly and consistently over and over taught me(and any other little girl she could find)that it's natural to want a man but living as if having a man is the end all be all is slow painful suicide. That loving ourselves as Women first should be our ultimate priority. I wish she could have still have been here to see what you Awesome Ladies are doing in 2023! I miss you, My Beautiful Beloved Grandmother!❤ #ThankYouMa6ryCook
Also, one of the ladies mentioned letting go of friends who refuse to decentre men and i agree. I recently let go of a friend who was constantly seeking male validation because now it was infringing on me and my life, to the point where she told a man whom i was interested in about my SA because she wanted me to seem less than in his eyes, and it was things like that, that made me realise that you genuinely cannot have those kinds of people in your circle if you're trying to decentre men because you will constantly clash, and they'll end up doing foul things to you in hopes of piquing the interest of a man, while jeopardising whatever friendship they have with you...
I don’t think we need to be that drastic tho. We should be able to have our own ideals and separate life choices. If you end a friendship, it’s just asking her to decenter men and replacing them with the opinions and validations of other women. It’s SO important as women to allow other women THEIR right to be truly FREE.
Some men won't even wash themselves and they will act like it's a flex. I knew this guy that you could smell before you even saw him. One time he proudly announced that he partied till the middle of the night so he only had three hours of sleep and that is why he didn't have time/was too tired to shower or put on fresh clothes that didn't smell of BO, vomit and alcohol(I think he shit his pants too). He had the audacity to go around asking people for hugs and he only asked women of course.
At my military college in the 90s, the guys would see how long they could go without washing their wool pants, and one guy said in December that he’d not washed his pants all semester.
hmmm I did hear that a lot of women are having bad experiences with men not washing their butt hole. It hasn't happened to me yet but there's has been too many women claiming this.
The worst it's that if they don't hug him they gonna be portrayed as the Bad ones and maybe get in trouble, tell hr or show this to those coworkers, if they don't respect You dont Give them Your time and work as an employee, it's time that 4busers face consequences in every way, that includes job owners who praise 4busers
My friends were having so much sex in high school and just obsessing over guys all the. My friend when she was on acids confessed all her insecurities to me and asked “ why are guys so respectful towards you” I’ve subconsciously decentralized men my whole life, I just naturally like being alone and with that I’ve basically continuously improved myself for the past 10 years so when I’m ready for a partnership, I know exactly what I’m looking for after observing and thinking about it for years
And I really think that's the thing, the ones who gave it up in their early years has that attachment to how men value them, not knowing that that isn't the way you want someone to see your value, also the ones who didn't get that attention and just cared wayy to much about it, and the ones who did get that attention A LOT so their foundation on self worth is based off men's attraction to them.
Men have always respected me way more than other women who were chasing after them. I am exactly like you. I never had people pleasing behavior with them or gave them what they wanted. Men will complain about it just to see what they can get out of you but in reality they respect you compared to a woman who gives them everything for nothing.
I'm the same way! I'm still young but I've been alone for a lot of my life. And just like you I'm finally ready to be with someone. I haven't got attention from boys, and I've never had a crush on anyone either. It's another reason why I would be confused when my peers were a bit "boy crazy" during my school years. Of course I did have feelings of missing out, but I'd rather focus on becoming the better version of myself first. Now I know what I want in a relationship (at least an idea of it).
Ohh man that humbling part is so true. Today a guy told me that no one would date or marry someone like me but would def f**k me. I've repeatedly told him that im not into him. He tell me im not vuloptous enough or very sexy or that good looking. I told him again that idgaf. So tell me why he suddenly told me that the hes being mean is because it breaks the confidence of woman?!. So even the hottest girl would choose the most busted up guy because he has convinced her thats he's doing her a favour by dating her. WILD.
They are degenerates who don't mean you any good. It's psychological and verbal abuse. Insecure males try to use abuse to bring women down to their level so they can control and manipulate them for their own selfish, f*cked up agenda. They don't give a damn about women. They actually hate women and are secretly jealous of them. All they want to do is control you, put you beneath them and keep you there.
Men like this are so slow. Women know that the only reason men are in our face is because they find us attractive. Otherwise they would not have even looked at us.
I still date but I understand this 100% ❤ you do have to have a certain mindset when dealing with men or you’ll get taken advantage of. You should be just as selfish as them. Never put their needs first! And be aware of the men that try to ruin your self esteem.
I feel like you can still decenter men even when you're dating or in a relationship. For instance, I'm not going to cancel plans with my friends just to make myself available to you, pick another day.
I only met a decent man once I stopped dating them. Idk if it's just that most of the awful dudes are on dating apps and whatnot or what, but like a year after I stopped dating men, met the best man I've ever met in my life.
@@TheAwesomes2104 I think the worst of them are "actively" dating, or more appropriately actively looking for a little wifey to take care of them and put up with their abuse. men who aren't actively dating are doing the same stuff we are: focusing on ourselves and on trying to be good people and not pedestalizing romantic relationships.
Yes, I'm so proud of young women who get it! Spread the word by teaching this to your daughters. Make sure you carry because the men are angry about this. Women with sons need to teach them accountability and make sure they are productive boys.
Trust me. Men aren't angry about this. Because this kind of mindset will certainly bring women's body counts drastically down and that's what most men want. The average woman nowadays has the body count in the dozens. De-centering men means she will either die a virgin or commit to the right man. More women should sign up for this.
I realized that I do not have anything a man wants and so they leave me alone. When I want sex I'll have it but other than that what the hell else is there. I pay my own bills and make my own money and have healthy relationships with friends and family. What else do I need? Wish I had known this when I was in my 20's and 30's.
Ive been feeling this way since my break up. Thought i was just being a "bitter Betty. But watching this made me realize that im going through a major mind shift and that this is good for my growth.
For me, it was working in an old folks home and seeing the men left in there that have NO visitors because they were awful to their wives and children.... Old men with money and the young wives who are still going strong WITHOUT their husbands who now need around the clock care, and have left them there.... Or they're there because they just didn't take care of themselves.... even though their wives tried to get them to take their meds, see the doctor, eat better etc and those women were more like MOTHERS to their own husband's... Growing old with someone isn't as glamorous or romantic as movies and TV make it seem!!! Choose wisely ladies!
As a lesbian, I’m not sure if it counts, but I have completely forgotten men exist at times. I have a male free household and unless my daughter is talking about a boy she likes, they rarely come up in conversation. When I was still closeted (waaaay back at before I came out at 19), even knowing I was not attracted to men, I felt like every one of my actions was centered around men. Be it my family members, my male friends, or guys who were trying to get with me. I was so unhappy with myself. Once I finally allowed myself to be true to myself, men faded to the background and I have never felt so free. That freedom carried into my professional life and I stopped feeling like I needed to shrink myself down at work. I shut down misogynistic conversations had by my family members. I can easily see the red flags in my friends’ relationships because I no longer believe toxicity spewed by men is valid. I’m a better professional, I’m a better mom, I’m a better human all because I stopped allowing men to play a role in my life unless they are vetted and have proven themselves to be worthy of my time.
As amazing as that is… you still bred. That means you had relations with a man or injected yourself with his s fluid. And ultimately you’ve created a daughter that will have to endure the same turmoils of a patriarchal existence. Yay for you, but not so much for her …
I'm in my late 20s and just coming to the realization that I'm a lesbian, previously I always thought I was bi and just hadn't clicked with any men yet lol. But I realized I was getting sooo much of my validation and self-worth from attention from men, and being accepted as a "cool" girl, and I'm starting to unpack that and learn who I really am and what I really want in my life. I think I still have a while on my journey before I feel fully okay without depending on that outside validation. My world view is shifting a lot in decentering men and being able to stop seeing women as "competition" and trying to form deep platonic relationships with women, which I haven't really had since high school. Luckily I do live in a city with a lesbain bar and women-centered spaces which is very helpful. I have to separate my whole idea of who I am as a person from the male gaze, which is sad to acknowledge.
To be honest, being a lesbian really doesn’t do anything but replace a male with a female. It’s still centering someone outside of yourself. On top of that, if you’re sexually active with women, you’re still getting wrapped up in soul ties, external validation, risk for diseases, etc. Also, have you seen the stats for female domestic abuse? (That’s besides the point) I’m not trying to shame you at all. I’m only providing perspective on what it means to actually decenter men. The end goal is to center yourself.
I guess, I decentered men long ago...just was not conscious about. I always had my priorities. Like my own coloring books ... I didn't stop working on them just because my boyfriend at the time wanted me to spend more time at home/his home. I told him I got to do my books. My desires were more important to me than his desires for me to work in his home ... crazy!!! If a man makes me the center of his life. I automatically thought something was wrong with him. I can't be with you 24/7 ... like!!! you do have a life besides me!?!
You mean you hit the wall in your mid-twenties and it was downhill from there, until you decided to get in front of it somehow and claim that your inability to attract men was in fact your own decision. lol
I have freed myself from the thought of needing a man in my life 10 years ago after I had a child for my ex husband who has abandoned me during my pregnancy and missed the birth of our daughter and had the audacity to come back into my life after I gave birth, he punished me by not being in our child’s life. I’m so glad I have ended it long time ago before I was manipulated into having more for such a person who lacks empathy and compassion. People now a days ask me what’s the secret to me looking young , I tell them it’s staying away from men 😭😭😭 and it truly is cos I have less stress in my life and I don’t have anyone to make me question my own sanity by playing mind games with me
@@VeeKayGreenerGrassBechase they don’t get stuck with the baby. That’s why I believe giving the kids to the man. Especially boys. Too much damn stress.
Here's another one. There are two options, one is that she's the problem.. the other is that all men are the problem. She insists that all men are the problem but it is a LOT more likely that the fault lies with her own personality or her own inability to capitalize on her age and looks while she still had them. I bet she turned down more than a few "nice guys" over the years and now she wonders where all the nice guys have gone.
@@MrJBA79 ......mr nice guy is a facade. Keep ur options. I think and speak for myself. Males are globally the problem in the oppression of women and girls. 50 years from now I hope they call this " the great divorce" and u males know ur place on this planet.
So many times, the men who dumped me from previous relationships have come back. I stopped centring men in my early 30's. I bought multiple properties, renovated them, & sold them for a profit. Now I am 53, almost mortgage free & single. No regrets. The men who return to me are all in worse shape than when they left. I'm just happy 😊 Thank you for these clips. All very true in my experience.
@PanteraRosa91 just go for what you like to do. Build your support network and be happy. So many fantastic relationships I have built via real estate queens. 👑
Before this decentering men movement began, i already did. I was like 25. One thing that put me under alot of stress was doing all i can to get a man to marry me or be with me. I tried so much then i told myself this men and Marriage is truly putting me under alot of unwanted pressure. I decided to forsake men and Marriage and focus on this life God gave me. I felt peace when i decided to stop stressing about men and marriage. I was relaxed but the men around me became pissed off and telling me that i will grow old,sad and bitter. Like, i haven't been bitter enough, sad enough and felt alone enough stressing over men and marriage. I feel peace not trying to date or marry. It's been beautiful to me. I have always done things alone with or without a man. Being single just felt so comfortable. I come back when i want, eat what i like, sleep in peace without someone bothering me at 2:00a.m for seggs or comparing me to overly filtered Instagram photos. Not having to accept reckless disappointment or drama. When i say i feel peace, Trust me it's so peaceful. It's Not that then men didn't want me, no that wasn't the case. They just played too much games or want you to be a fool for them. I just couldn't
I made a clear decision last year to just stay single permanently. At first, I thought it was a me problem, but when I started hearing from many women that its definitely a global issue. I knew that decentering men was an important decision and have seen my life improve 1000%. I can finally focus on whats important and life is much easier to navigate.
Thank you for this as a 18 year old girl but are you guys really impressed or motivated becuase all I see is older women that are attacking us younger women and I'm talking about specifically conservative women that are very anti women and from a outdside perspective they are usually and mostly american women talking the most.
OMG! As a child of the 60s I'm so proud of you 21st century young women taking up the mantle for *women are human BEINGS just like men* ! 👏🏾🫶🏾🖖🏾🧑🏾🦱👧🏽👩👱♀️💐
This made me realize that the reason I’m 35 and never had a relationship last longer than 7 months is because I’ve never centered men and I’m not good at it even when I was much younger and literally TRYING to. I’ve always been so confused about why men never seemed to want me even though I have so much to offer and it’s because men don’t actually want a woman who has her shit together. I was offering men access to my world (which I thought was normal), but they want full custody. They want to be in full control of my world, and to deny me any access to theirs. When I deny them this arrangement they dip.
If you’re really still trying for companionship (idk why because it’s a headache when you share ur life with someone else), you should just get bfs. Not a husband, just get bfs who can take you on dates but never reveal your profession or income or anything. You’re literally there to get spoiled for the gf bf things but you aren’t obliged to sex so if he asks for sex, take that disagreement as the sign to leave and find a new bf. even if it means that it’s like every day you’re meeting a new person, don’t settle down unless he’s really really willing to jump through hoops to be with you. Make it difficult on purpose so it’s easier to break things off without risking your womb and sexual health.
20% of men divorce or separate from their wives after their wife is diagnosed with cancer or MS. I'd love to have the numbers for how many men actually take care of their wives with cancer like the wives take care of men with cancer because I'm sure it's not remotely 80%.
Yes, i saw that when a wife has any type of desease like cancer or any chronic desease their husbands abandon them or make their lives harder, this was six times more likely to happen than the opposite, however this was in 2009, now that the divorce rate increased You can bet the percentage it's Even bigger Edit SEVEN times in 2020 "Women have almost equal representation in the workplace and in 41% of US homes, women are the breadwinners. More men than ever are stay-at-home fathers. And yet, when a woman falls ill, it can really reveal the extent to which men not only feel entitled to a certain level of housework"
Yup, they're SIX TIMES more likely to bail than women are. It's the same reason why the most common time for men to start affairs is right after their wife/gf has a baby. In both cases she has to take care of herself or a baby instead of giving him 24/7 attention so he goes & finds a another woman he can get it from. It's sickening!!
This is so the husband does not get stuck with medical bills because in most states the married person will receive the bills. How do I know this? My mother and step father were going to divorce when my mom was diagnosed with late stage breast cancer. They never did, but that is why. Please do not just drop statistics without knowing them in detail. It’s far deeper than that.
@@lanaaa6213 there's stats about ABANDONING, and it's SEVEN times they husband leaving the wife, don't try to portray stats as lies to deflect the fact You dont have any evidence
It’s insane because I am always radical with my thoughts and then suddenly stuff starts popping up about what I started doing years ago. I’m the center of my universe.
It just was inevitable, you just happened to catch the wave earlier, this is not slowing down, this is growing bigger! And I can’t can’t wait for it 😭💜
decentering men has been a lifted weight. ladies especially in a relationship, marriage or w.e. LIVE UR LIFE. do NOT let them try to negate u from: getting a higher education, pursuing hobbies or outside activities that can also be side businesses, and especially KEEP U FROM UR SAFTEY CIRCLE (friends, family, ppl u trust and love)! Enjoy every inch of yourself, for yourself! you are SOOO worth it!! 2023 and just bought a house & about to graduate with honors❤❤❤
We are very capable of it, but the guys who are horrible to women also push us around and make us feel lesser than them, so we dont really interact with girls much because unfortunately we dont feel good enough. Please know though that plenty of us are loving, unfortunately thats just not the men who are held up in society
@wingedferret5713 because most men lack the skills to attract, communicate, and build relationships for women- you men are too much of a project! You need therapy!
@@wingedferret5713 Unfortunately these videos attract a lot of women who have resentment towards the men in their lives and then project it onto the rest of men in society, the content creators don't address it because it is such a big part of their audience.
YES I’ve been single for a few years after my partner passed away, & I haven’t had any desire to find someone else. I’ve actually been feeling very “anti-relationship” & I love that for me.
Same. I did find an interest in someone recently, but I disappear when I want to. I don't make him my priority. I'm happy that way. Come when I need you, otherwise stay away from me. I'm not with the headaches and I damn sure don't want to have to grieve over another one.
@@iamdangerous5189 I’ve been doing that too! I’m not interested in dating these guys & they’ve asked what my deal is so I explain that I’m not willing to feel like interactions are an obligation. I’ll reply to texts when I want to, don’t expect anything from me. I don’t care if it comes off as selfish. I’m trying to protect myself from experiencing that grief all over again by not getting too close in the first place. Go elsewhere if you need that deep connection with someone bc you won’t be getting it from me.
Currently trying to decenter my life from my father and his son. They've done irreparable damage to me in my childhood, and I'm sick and tired of appealing to their rules AND the rules enforced by my female relatives. It's lonely but atleast I don't feel like ripping my skin off with how disgusting, suffocating and exhausting their 'familial love' was.
I just want to add I’ve been child free by choice since I was a child I am 50 years old right now and I have never ever regretted that choice, not even for two seconds. I had at least three men in my past to try to baby trap me.
I'm glad this message is being spread cause these dudes are going insane about women being able to take care of themselves without being in a system that FORCED women to overly depend on them for survival which lead to a lot of abuse. Now, these males are openly talking about taking away women's rights just to feel important again this is how fragile their ego's are. So grateful for women being hip to the nonsense.
As fragile as women’s egos for truly believing they are the “prize”?Despite offering nothing but sex and complaining about the modern conveniences they have in today’s society that (shocker alert) were/are being built and supported by men? I’m all for this movement. Maybe when I call up a plumber to fix my toilet, or call up the electrician that it’ll end up being a woman coming instead of burly built hairy man. Oh wait, women don’t actually want to work if it’s not a pretty office space where they won’t have to get their hands dirty or risk their lives for society
My entire life can be summarized by men trying to squash me down, put me down and dim my light. I'm a beautiful, talented and thin woman. Men comment on my weight, my artist talent, the fact that I'm getting some gray hairs 🤣 I'm so over it.
Few grey hairs and wrinkles doesn't make you less deserving of love , happiness and peace and it doesn't make you less capable . Aging happens to everyone who lives long enough. As if they themselves are perfect and won't get old
During my 2yr relationship with a guy who turned abusive 6mo in, I passively allowed him to chase off all my friends, tantrum any time I wanted to go out w/o him, etc. until he became my entire social life. I thought I was so in love, that we'd get married, so I was content placing him at the center of my life. He abused me for 1.5yrs and then abruptly left me for his coworker, like one day I woke up and found myself *completely alone*. It's been years and my social life has never recovered, I lost all my friendships. And for what? A guy who treated me like shit and tossed me aside when he found a new mark. I'm a cautionary tale, NEVER do what I did. Decenter men, prioritize healthy friendships!
men have honestly caused me so much pain in my life, from family members to my personal relationships. Im sick of it! taking a break from dating has helped but its just been so many decades of my life revolving around men, I dont wanna do it anymore.
My sister went to school for Engineering. I think she was one of the few women there. She has a job now and i don't think she'll ever find a guy. I think that says enough about the male dating market.
Trust me, us real men hate men who think like this, it's poisonous and it would feel pretty horrific the other way round, my gf has a job and im so proud of her and all the work she is doing
There’s more to life than being a mother and wife. The tik tok of the gal explaining how our frontal lobe isn’t fully developed and if we take on that mother wife task too young we will center ourselves out whole lives on it and it’s not healthy, and that’s a good reason to decentralize men. They’ll marry these young 18 year olds, fill her up with kids and abandon the entire family by the time she’s 25 and she’s doing it all alone. Wasting life away all because once upon a time she believes some guy. Meanwhile he’s starting all over with someone else while demeaning her and calling her “bitter”. These men really don’t have much to offer in society but misery to women and babies they won’t help out with at all unless it’s to fuel their pathetic ego
Thank you! Even as a Christian woman, it is so important to not make my journey and purpose centered around men. We tend to forget God once a man comes into our lives, and that is idolatry. I'm so glad that, even with my friends who are in relationships, we don't go on about their dudes. Love it, ladies.
LOL, that's the pot calling the kettle black. you all are literally up here burning your online bras and swearing off men for good. Don't project your bitterness onto me please and thank you. @@citrus3603
Mid 30's here. My spirit has been calling me to prioritize myself for once. Not family friends or a man. Met a "nice/good guy" after an abusive relationship. Found out he wasn't better. Nice, but still a man in the way we're all talking about right now. Loved my drive etc until I couldn't prioritize him over work or wouldn't do so over myself. I explained how I move with men and that I didn't want to do that anymore. He claimed he understood but not really. I don't know who I am what I like how I like my hair etc.
21:00 this! She said it so perfectly, and this is why I really don’t like women calling other women stupid because she’s with a man or dealing with abuse. Bc besides her own reasons, the world makes it expensive in every way to be single. You almost have to be wealthy to single, even though we want that, it’s because the world wants women to serve men and have children for more labor. It needs to stop
I did this. I got out of a bad 4-year-long abusive relationship, straight after getting out of being groomed. Had to pause and find who I am, deprogram my brain and appreciate myself ... and suddenly life was so much more fun haha. I ended up falling in love slowly with a man who is constantly holding me up and encouraging me in every way now, because he fell in love with my confidence and who I am, he never holds me back and now I actually have time to work on myself and my interests without feeling a shred of guilt. Good luck to everyone starting their journey
@@victoria.xseven7913 The grooming wasn't done by my ex, I was (between the age 11-16) being groomed online by a man in his 20's with his main aim to initially meet me irl for obvious intentions, but ultimately I was so brainwashed his intentions changed to using me to get in contact with other minors. Love bombed, separated from my support, turned against my support, used as a CP funnel which he sold online to other men.
I can't really define what grooming is as the definition seems so broad now, but I know what I went through was 1000% grooming for my entire teenage years.
@@victoria.xseven7913 more-so like they were conditioning me to be ok with it or to believe that intimacy is akin to validation so I seek all my validation through them through these acts, by establishing a relationship with me. Warping my mind gradually so they can use me. Also grooming me with an attempt to eventually being physical with me aka assault me. Thankfully my parents found out just in time.
I remember being like 18/19 and questioning myself like “why do I always have a crush on some boy/man” there was never a break, it was one guy to the next. I truly feel like there’s a spiritual aspect to it and that by becoming aware of it then you can become free.
I've always been like this throughout my adolescence but I always thought something was wrong with me since it is so normal to center men. Looking at some of my friends and people in my life I realise some of the most beautiful women have the most lowest self esteem so I think the first woman is so on point. You never know how spiteful people will be to see someones worth and try so hard to bring them down and ruin their self esteem just so they can have a chance with them.
I didn’t know this was a “thing” but I am all in this energy. I was dating an older guy, thought he was coo but he wanted to lay up too much for me. I had to let him go and realized I don’t like laying up. I feel like it’s a task if it feels good or not. Men only want that from me. That’s all I ever got from every man I was involved with. No one was trying to be serious and be a couple. So I’m good all on my own. I used to say “I can do bad by myself” scratch that I can do GREAT by myself. Middle finger to the male being! Fr Fr!
Same here. They only ever wanted sex. And even the one guy that didn't want sex at all and I thought was so compatible with me, ended up friend zoning me.
Wow - finally!!! I love this conversation. I decided 40 yrs ago not to bear their mini me's- i had just had one and turned down several proposals. I was wiser than I knew until of course - my life now - is FREE!!!!
Wow, I know this is about decentering men but that white woman gagged me with the anti racism work. That’s an ally right there. I appreciate that a lot as a black woman because she didn’t have to go the extra mile to learn, a lot of ppl don’t. That touched me today.
Same here. I’ve also realized racism is a product of patriarchy too. I’m not excusing racism or saying that women can’t be racist but I notice it goes hand in hand. Men like dominating and having something to themselves. They are also superficial. “You belong to me b/c you look like me”. Women are resources, that’s why we have more value. As a black girl I’m learning to put my womanhood first and race second. I don’t even identify with the black community. They hate women and children, I’m convinced. I’m proud to be ME because I am me, not just because I’m black. I am excellent, because I am excellent!!! I feel like a lot of black women isolate themselves from other women and womanhood b/c they think they won’t be accepted by other groups of women (and ofc not ALL will accept you) because of they’re race, when really it’s your low self esteem. (That’s been my experience) If you love you, others will too. It’s doesn’t have to be “just us” or we don’t have to take the lead all the time 😅.
This makes me feel so much better! It reminds me that being in a relationship isn't a prize. It reminds me to not give up on going out and having fun just to sit around and sulk about a no-good man all day. It reminds me to NOT listen to women who brag about their relationships to overcompensate and hide the misery they are constantly experiencing. It reminds me not to fall for men's lies...wow. We ladiews really arent missing out on anything.
I cried more in a relationship than I did with myself & loving myself more ❤ relationship takes a lot of work and most of the time people don’t understand what it takes for a healthy relationship to progress. I’m single and happy, although I do go on dates. Dating has made me realize what I want for myself rather than looking for that man. Idk if it makes any sense.
I think as people, as single people we center ourselves, our growth, our love for us. It should be about becoming whole outside of a partner, a friend group or a family structure so that you can be the strongest you.
The pressures of marrying and having children are exhausting and that’s why I will not sign up for these pressures. I’m in my 40s, unmarried, no children and I will still live a fruitful life!!🎉 I’ve been decentering men since 2020!! Lol!! Women, taking care of yourself first is definitely self care and NOT SELFISH!!!
I’m so glad videos like this exist now for women. I am just now in my 40s finally realizing how I messed up my whole life centering men. It’s so deep inside you don’t even realize it. Now that I know, I am rebuilding my life. It takes work but these videos help so much.
3:36 bro I literally had a friend like this where all we would do is just talk about men for HOURS like almost every day and it got to the point where I just avoided her because her energy was so draining. I'm trying to detach myself from her now.
It takes much to convince the average man of anything; and perhaps nothing can ever make him realize that he is the average woman’s inferior - yet in several important details the evidences seems to show that that is what he is. - Mark Twain
Single has always been the Happy life ❤do what you want when you want whenever you want and not have to worry about the stresses of a relationship. It equals heaven for me
I am done with dating, i am 40, i am hot, i am happy and vibrant, i pay for my own stuff, i am educated, fun, i am an amazing dancer. Even being on tider for about 2 years has left me exhausted, super weird gross guys at times, other guys made so many promises and i planned ahead, so much time wasted. Someome promised me dance shoes and then i didn't hear from person in a month. Is like if she is from tinder it's ok to lie.
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I’m sooo glad the de centering men movement is going strong.
Men will Dec enter u
@@katinabotten ohhhh nooo 😢 whatever will we do? 😭🙄
@@SR77736 make an excuse to re-center like you always do 🤡🤡
We'll muddle along without you. But keep in mind that the more you take charge, the more you butch yourselves up, the more you ostracize men... the less attractive you become to men. Men (unless they're gay) are not attracted to butch-beaches. So, good luck with your life without dique. I hope you prefer the flatter shoe.
@@SR77736Did someone say PARTY? I'll bring the chips and salsa! 😆😆😆
Jay Z cheating on Beyoncé is an example of trying to humble her
I completely agree 💯
YES that should have been our wakeup call.
Yes he was trying to knock her down a notch
And she stayed
Who cares 😂
I once got called a whore because I declined going home with a guy I met at the bar…LOL
You can never win 😂
lol unbeliveable
I was called the same a few times when I said no to guys because I had a boyfriend
That's willddd 😂damned if we do damned if we don't
I love this. And let’s not stop at romance and love interests. You have toxic brothers, cousins, uncles, FATHERS. Don’t be afraid to liberate yourself from them as well. We deserve to be happy, ladies. In all aspects.
Wow, that's a lot of effort... wouldn't it be easier and simpler to apply that same effort into your appearance. Maybe not eat that tub of peanut butter.. throw on some makeup once in a while etc. If you want to be all independent and masculine then resign yourselves to the fact that men are not interested in masculine women. You want to wear the pants, you want to take charge, you want things your way... then no dique for you, ever. Not even a little one. Zero dique.
Okay . Sons too❤❤❤
yep. one of my brothers is a six time baby daddy, three trash bag dusty struggle bandit. it’s embarrassing. he’s such a leech.
@@hardcandy71287 Well me and brothers don't even speak! My youngest one is out there smoking crack and my oldest is 46 still confused about whether he want a man or woman.
Yes I decided to cut my sperm donor off for good. Hope he rots.
Most women have witnessed their mothers go through the craziest problems with their fathers... and we simply don't want to repeat it!
Well, at least your blood line is ending. Thanks for cleaning up the gene pool.
@@hanzbrixx6672 I'm actually married and have a son... Thanks for the ignorant assumption!
@hanzbrixx6672 and it's bloodline... a compound word... nice grammatical error...Your gene pool will probably be short bus slow!
@@melissarivas6395 , So you haven't de center blah blah, men from your life?
@hanzbrixx6672 No, I haven't participated in decentering men, but I do understand why a lot of women are doing this... after working with women who have been abused by men, they tend to put up a wall to avoid being emotionally, mentally, and physically abused.
I decentered men a couple years ago. It is the best decision I have ever made. I feel better my income is doubled I’m purchasing a house next year and I am getting back on track with my fitness. I have been so happy. I’m glad more women are waking up.
This is amazing! Well done!
Go queen
@@Sacredmysticzit is sad and it’s almost like some us have to do it!!!
Getting ready to buy a home in a few months and been decentered men - lost a lot of weight 🙃
@@77kc_77 that’s awesome. Having your own place nothing like it
I’ll argue that this mantra includes the males you are biologically related to. They can sort themselves out too.
They should be the first ones to decenter imo. Everything else just falls into place.
If your brother or father dies, then don't attend their funeral, got it!
Agreed
Agreed! I would say those in our families are the worst because they have access to us and can do lasting damage.
@@youarebusteduserNobody is saying that. Just that a man shouldn't contain a woman like she was a beverage. She has her own agency.
When trying to ban abortion I've heard so many people use the excuse she should just keep her legs closed and then she wouldn't have to worry about it. Well here you go fellows, she's keeping her legs closed😂😂😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
Exactly 💯
And they can't take it 😂
This is what should have happened a long time ago. Women need to stop rewarding mediocre men with sex.
They sure have some big feelings when we do that 😂
As a 68-year-old thrice married, now single woman I am so happy to see young women having the strength and bravery to do this.
So you got bored and blew-up 3 marriages like some kind of nuptual parasite migrating from one host to another.. those poor men. I hope they thrived without you.
Social programming is powerful drug, I'm lucky to have been born at a time where 'not picking anyone' but yourself truly is valid option.
It's idiotic that walking away from dysfunctional relationships is seen as the wrong option. Focusing on fostering friendships and hobbies is way better than trying to find that one 'special person'.
Codependent relationships are seen as the ideal by lot of folks and that needs major brain scrubbing to get rid off.
@@MrJBA79what are you doing under a video about decentralization of men? Are you working on it yourself?
@beccf.s.8012 my civic duty. It's high-time that men call women out when they try to have a thought. You've run your mouths for long enough.
@@beccf.s.8012He’s the KS of today😂😂😂😂. He’s holding women “accountable” because it’s his mission to micromanage women and their bodies. He’s inserting himself in women’s spaces because he can’t stand not being the centre of women’s lives. Look at how much attention we’re giving him.RP men are the funniest. 😂😂😂
They basically waste your time and energy only to replace you once they find someone they deem better.🙄😮💨
Exactly..they will discard you like trash
Sure. You marry the beach, have a kid or two with her... then 10 years down the line she needs to go "find herself" with the help of her yoga-instructor leaving the guy to apply for visitation privileges to see his own kids, she takes the house that he has to pay for, she takes half of his assets and he still needs to pay child-support to her. Men prefer younger women because they're not jaded like you beaches are. The more you take charge, the more masculine you become.... and (unless they're gay) men don't want masculine women. We'll find a nice, feminine, 18 year old girl and hand-raise her instead.
Facts they do replace. Woman are just candy for the picking on dating apps. The first disagreement or meh feeling they go back in to swipe at candy 🍭 store
@mysticalvibe4241 I'm 44 years old, the last Tinder date I went on was with an 18 year and 3 month young kitten. LItereally, she was a fury.. fluffy butplug 'tail', the ears.. it was kind of cute actually. Why would I want to date a woman who has hit the wall when I can date that bouncing-ball of sexual energy? As a woman, your value lies in your age and your looks because you bring exactly nothing else to the table.
She was very pretty he said he don’t like her face outta anger
I started with the men in my family. Emotionally detach from their opinions and ideas. No more comforming.
Oh sure, because men love non-conforming, masculine women. Said no man ever.
@@MrJBA79 EXACTLY. HENCE THE MOVEMENT OF DE-CENTERING FROM HAVING A MAN IN ONE'S LIFE, ESPECIALLY NOT THE CENTER. EVEN FAMILY MEMBERS. LOL. MEANING YOUR OPINION AND ANY OTHER MAN'S OPINION WILL ABSOLUTELY NOT HOLD ANY WEIGHT. ESPECIALLY A STRANGER'S. NOR DO WE CARE IF OURS DOSEN'T WITH YOU. YOU SHOULD GO COMMENT ON A VIDEO MADE FOR MEN.😉🤣✌️👋
@@MrJBA79It’s about de-centering men. We DON’T CARE about what you like. It’s like… at the bottom of our priorities. The bottom.
@@MrJBA79fock xy and their toxic fee fee
Not even on the list! 🤣
So many women see this as extreme, but honestly the more self-respect and confidence you have, the more likely you are to end up single anyway 😭 most men know they ain’t shit and will put you through hell just to lower your self esteem and keep you dependent on him. The more you love and respect yourself the less likely you are to tolerate male shenanigans.
Very true
Very accurate!
👍🏽🙏🏾
That’s why we should say fuck the patriarchy and only use men for s3x and fwb!! Pets stop the stupid relationship shenanigans 😤👀
This is a straight fact. A lot of men will avoid you if they see you have self love because they know their tired games won't work.
As a straight once I stopped worrying about men, dating, and marriage my life became so much easier.
I'm 20 but younger than that growing unlearning many things also, realizing the harmful deep conditioning as to what my "purpose" as a women is has made me realize I never really wanted this traditional stuff nor do I want marriage nor kids and who cares about gender roles, I was forced into "wanting" this when I didn't.
I don't really desire relationships with men but if it happens great but, the way men are moving and not changing for the better good then I'd rather stay single than miserable. As an introvert who loves my company while cherishing those around me, loves books, animals and nature like I am completely fine alone nor do I feel lonely either.
I focus on my mind, body and soul setting boundaries, dressing in what makes me feel good, doing the work to become a better version of me everyday plus ever since I watched the barbie movie, I swear I came out a new women😭💕
@@0fficialselena__90I love this for you girl ! ❤❤
@@0fficialselena__90 I'm 19 amd I feel the same but maybe it's because im intrested in women more so that could be the factor either way me and you think the same way
@@0fficialselena__90Love that for you 💕💕
@@0fficialselena__90you go girl❤❤❤
I'm a guy and it's exciting that this is happening. Women need to take their destiny into their own hands. For all the talk in red pill circles about women "hitting the wall" and being unhappy and lonely it turns out that men are the ones that are unhappy and lonely. If that weren't true then why is there so much talk about "male loneliness" these days? It's an epidemic at this point. Seems like the men are the ones who need women more than women need men.
I think you are seeing the picture women experience clearly, I appreciate your thoughts!
Don't listen to them red Pillers the best one to tell our stories is us. There's no such thing as hitting the wall for a woman. They say anything to you guys so that you can buy their courses that means they have to come up with something when it comes to us in order to make a course. I am 45 years old and most of these men think I am 28 -30 and what I found interesting is that a lot of these men have become so desperate they are in fact chasing after older women and having sex with woman past 65! These guys chase after me more that I'm in my forty's then when I was in my twenty's! So, women are not hitting the wall. I also know plenty of beautiful healthy women in their 40s like me. I think the problem with many men is that many of them know that they can't challenge us on an intellectual or social level in which we will not find that attractive this is why they tried to place up a wall on us. LMAO I just find it to be so childish dear.
@@sweetonyxakararegem692 thank you for sharing your side of things, it helps to see more clearly. It's as if the red pill stuff was invented by men to hide the fact that they are desperate for women's time and attention and being frustrated that women don't want anything to do with them. Thankfully it seems like it might be dying little by little. Fresh and fit was just demonetized for good. That's cause for joy!
This isn’t ground breaking he’s literally just repeating back to you words he’s heard from women on this topic so you can maintain hope that maybe some men might finally be getting it. He hasn’t added anything original showing he hasn’t truly thought about this topic. He’s just saying what he’s knows you want to hear so you won’t truly truly decenter men. It’s just temporary adaptation/ facade. Like a guy who pretends to be a feminist to bed women.
@@madelineklao1504Exactly sis
I'm a lesbian separatist and happy to see straight women finally putting themselves first
❤❤❤❤❤
Removing men or not making them a priority is the best feeling you can have
As a woman who grew up in the states until middle school, then went abroad and attended all - female schools I've noticed something interesting. Girls who attend these all-female schools tend to naturally decenter men. Yes, there will always be that natural curiosity and attraction towards the opposite gender, but those girls had their own identities that weren't built around male validation.
I remember how obsessed girls were even before puberty to please and attract boys. Girls would constantly compete and fight each other. However, in the female school girls would bond with each other, share books, play games and talk about their interest and future plans instead of obsessing over boys. I remember playing tag, having push up competitions and so much more with my classmates.
+ to add majority of my classmates now are university graduates working as doctors, lawyers, pharmacist, scientist and so much more. Maybe one or two became house wives (there is nothing wrong with it).
But what I am saying is segregated schools helps build females identifies that are not dependent on male validation.
I agree, my sister went to an all girls boarding school and she caught the bs way faster than I did, I decentered men years ago before I even knew what it was called, I was just done with being a prop for patriarchy and opted out of the game all together.
before then, I used to try not to offend men and tried being their friend 😂😂 but most of them don’t have enough empathy to pay good with good, I learnt soon enough that I had to make a change for my own preservation.
Yes! I went to an all-girls boarding school and this is very true. It changes in University where young men and women attend classes and functions together.
@mysteriouscliche I wish I went to an all girls school from young and I'm 20 now😭 Being in a school that also had men was the worst thing ever and traumatizing😅
@@0fficialselena__90 you don't absolutely need to have gone to an all-girls school. Just start de-centering men anyways. I am going to warn you that it will drag severely on you because it doesn't come naturally to women (it seems) except for when they are out in an all-women environment for long periods of time (again, it seems...for example at a boarding school). Focus on your life goals and continuous healing from wounds (counseling, True Christian Spirituality like Catholicism, reflection and introspection, journalling, etc.).
Just persevere and don't over-force romantic relationships.
Focus on men who show _genuine interest in you as a person_ . Do not under any circumstance entertain men who are loud and brash with the love-talk straight out of the gate (unless if they've been friends with you for a long time... discernment is key).
Focus on God. That's where my understanding of "de-centering" stems from. I placed my desire for God above my desire for men. I am in my late 30s and unmarried and 90% sure I have discerned out of the marriage market and will be going the Consecrated route. But with or without said discernment, I will still tell you that the pay-off is real!! It is worth it to be and feel like a complete and whole human being who is defined first and foremost by her Maker...before any other roles she plays on life.
My only long term ex (8 months) had the nerve to say women only date men for their money… mind you, he had no money. I reminded him of that & he agreed. Dating is not worth it lol
Seriously only males with no money say this, and usually because they are bitter that the women they want don't want them. Males salivate at the idea of getting older, and becoming more "established" in their careers because they believe their money will award them with young women. They do not have a problem with women getting with them for money at all.
My ex told me I was a gold digger and he didn't even have a job... I was 17 don't judge me 😅
Exactly 😂💯
Lmaoooo 😂😂😂 no money
This is how many men think that date beautiful women. My ex who was 44 years old in 2002. I was 32. He called me a gold digger out of the blue. . He had lost his house and his 2 BMWs to his ex wife. He didn't have them when we dated nor did he have the job that helped him garner those things. I reminded him he was living in a 1 bedroom in a bad neighborhood and drove a used Subaru I think Outback or Forester. I never said or thought anything about his car, his apartment, or his job. He did seasonal taxes. I felt like his comment was him living in his past and trying to put it on me.
My great grandma was widowed early from a much older husband. When asked why she never remarried she always said “I already had to wash one man underpants, I ain’t doin again!” Lol
😂😂😂
All the grandmother's I know never re-married some were even as young as in their thirties including my own grandmother and she was independent and happy about her life
My granny said: oh god, what will I do with an old man.😂
My grandmother is a widow now , and one lold guy who met her when she was young found out she was alone now , and he started to call her invit her to a date . I was really excited and I said oh please go on a date with him , and she said Never again.
My grandad cheatead on her and was really verbal abussive.
But my granmother take care of him until he died.
I love my grandad buy god what a terrible partner.
It was enough for her and I understand .
she was really A CEO from her own company always independent, woking everywhere and with a lot of passion in life and she always said to me you need to be independant and always put yourseld first.
Guess what girls - is the most difficult thing to me 😢 I have been loosing my time beggin to someone to love me.. since teeneger , now as a adult struggiling with my life economically and mentally putting others firts.
And I realise finally the priority always needs to be you.
Nobady will come to saves you is real.
Disney is not real. And you matters
Im so proud of us women. I know our ancestors are smiling from above
Yes. I am a manifestation of an ancestor's dream. Also, I am manifestation of the divine feminine energy here on earth. Say it with me ladies!
@@valeriew4833 preach
No disrespect but I don't think this is what your ancestors would want, since the beginning of time men and women both needed each other including our ancestors I think this is some new age shit, but if this what makes you happy than do it
@@Zuna492 wym needed each other? You mean men needed women to use them as baby making machines to abandon when things get rough?
They are with us always even scientifically lol XX has access to all previous generations
Be prepared to never suffer from depression or body dysmorphia again no more self esteem issues and never feel jealousy again and you will have the best friendship experiences ever. ❤
❤❤
So true!
We also need to decenter friendships with women who put all their energy in getting with men and ditching everyone for him. They need to be in relationships Ana can’t be with out a man. That also stands for gay male friends too who are male obsessed. Burn all those fake bridges.
This comment is for me. Thanks for conformation, now I just need new like-minded friends 😅
@@77kc_77They always complain about their man but never leave them like I'm tired😂 Like get somebody else to do it!
I just got so tired of spending hours upon hours on the phone with these so called friends as they hash out their relationship drama. Hours….for decades….free counseling. You get off the phone just completely drained by their prattling on and on about their terrible bf. I just can’t anymore. Part of decentering men is also letting go of people obsessed with them as you stated. All of that time on the phone listening to them I though I was being a hood friend, but really they were using my energy so they could have the strength to stay in their toxic relationships. Protect your energy.
@@sharonivy888 right I don't even bother trying to give them advice, because they're always gonna put the man first. So, no matter what he does they enable him.
This is why I had to stop being friends with my best friend a few years ago. She was in a toxic relationship and would run to me as soon as they got into an argument. Then her bf would text me and tell me to tell my friend to unblock him and vice versa. It was exhausting and I wanted to talk to my friend about other stuff, but all she wanted to talk about was her toxic relationship. I'm more happy now with being alone, especially since I'm an introvert anyway.
I was miserable and crying everyday when I was with my narc ex….. I feel so blessed to be single and childfree 💃🏾
When I first started going to the gym my mom and my aunt told me to "not get too muscled because men don't like that". Little do they know I no longer give a shit what men like
I had the same experience. I started working out and building muscles and my parents were worried that men will not find me attractive anymore. And to top it off, I decided to start competing in bodybuilding. lol. And now, a lot of men are so intrigued and love my muscles. Hahahaha
@@safinangandu603 just goes to show you'll attract the right people if you're just yourself
Right there with you both. I’m also a bodybuilder. I get a disrespectful comment from a man at least once a week because if you are better than him in any way, he has to take you down a notch. It’s almost always a man who isn’t fit.
Wait they called Margot Robbie mid but they picked her. The irony. I am so glad younger women are figuring it out sooner. We are going to see even more great things in the world. They are getting their life and I'm here for it.
Who are “they” ?
I’m a dude, Margot Robbie is clearly a straight ten.
I'm just here for it with my 🍿
Who is this ‘they’. Any remedial can see she is above average and her career shows it. Only a remedial would try to argue with reality. Ie a women.
@@solrosenberg4529 wtf just search it
@@johnmadsen37 you're playing stup1d just search it, this makes You looks worst, im a guy but come on
So that what it is… I was telling my sister I’m just not interested in men right now 🤷🏾♀️ I’m just over the games. The toxic behavior is weird and unattractive.
Right ? This term sounds a bit lighter than cynicism.
I was telling a friend the same thing, she looked at me like I'm crazy
@@ieshjust16same girl… I’m about ready to give my friends the boot.
@@andriasanders9228Do it. Male identified women bring nothing but problems and they will try and set you up or compete with you for men you’re not even looking at.
Plus, they’re only impregnating, cheating on, and killing women.
Let’s be all the way, honest here…
It’s more than just games, it’s a matter of saving your life
There is something spiritual about decentering men as well. I made the decision about three weeks ago to actively Decenter them. Now, I notice as I’m out and about they’ve been incredibly respectful towards me. I barely look at them and it’s like they KNOW I’m giving nothing first/if at all. 🤷🏽♀️
I’ve just said this to myself I’ve been single 3 years because I really don’t want to be bothered and they are respectful, hold doors and offer to help with anything I need lol and I still don’t want them❤
Yeah they come like flies when you are done. But be carefull the one that slipps through is a master manipulator.
You have protected the vault high security.
So the thieves going after it are smarter and have more skills. 😉
@
Mona ... very very true
I will never stop saying this: EVERY PROBLEM i have ever experienced in my life has been due to the actions of a man.
Same stress , heartbreak, depression , anxiety etc due to men
💯💯💯💯💯 Facts, literally!!!!!!@@77kc_77
Same. Never again.
They are chaotic and the devil - women will never have peace with them and some of these women are just as toxic boy moms
Same goes for the world. The men are the decision makers and have been leading us to hell.
I've been like this since middle school and always thought there was something wrong with me. I was always "books over boys".
Books are far more entertaining.
@@sharonivy888They really are!
Because Boys brings babies!!! 😂
Any recommendations that don't have a love story as the main event climax of the book?
@@izzyash2031 yes very importaint! i avoid love movies and tarot readings🤣
men biologically need us, women only ever needed them for resources but now that we can provide our own recourses we are leaving them behind, they are not handling it well
And we didn’t need them for that. They made a patriarchal structure so that they have all the access to resources.
I mean they are very close to developing artificial wombs.
@@Lifeisgood-bv2tgAwesome!!!
They’ll still need women in order to actually raise the kids though. 🙃
@@Lifeisgood-bv2tg lol. Even if that did happen 95% of men wouldn't be able to afford it. And 99% won't want to raise the babies themselves 😂 like how delulu can ya'll be?!
@@Lifeisgood-bv2tguntil that day comes.. 🤷🏾♀️
It feels so organic. I love this movement. So unconcerned with dating anymore. One thing I've noticed is that I don't feel threatened by other women's beauty, I admire it. I feel like men try to elicit jealousy among women as a way to have power. No more! Self love is beautiful, as is admiring women and loving being a woman.
Generations of men have been raised by women who centered their lives around their fathers, husbands, sons and encouraged their daughters to do the same; both women and men have work to do to forge a different way and it’s not easy but so important that it’s done. Unfortunately some men think it’s something that’s happening to them, not just around them or that they can be part of (just not the center of😅). As a man, I’m grateful for women speaking your truth and platforms like this where I can hear your voices and consider with an open mind what decentering men means for you. Thanks 🙏
This is the convo that must be had 👍
My mom tried to socialize me to center men my whole life, I told her to fcuk off by doing the opposite. The reason she told me to do it was to be picked for marriage. I'm married now and I didn't have to do those things. The man I chose to marry understood the assignment, he is a true PARTNER through and through, he understands that I am human and not a possession. I treat him how I would like him to treat me and vice versa. It works, it's that simple. I don't understand why men are protesting.
👏👏👏👏
Absolutely raised by a dad who believed women are supposed to serve men!
@fredgarvin6097 wнιcн ιѕ why тнey wιll reмaιn ιncelѕ....
The first Woman I met who decentered Men from her life was my Shero. After being twice married, widowed and divorced, she decided in her early twenties to go it alone and not make males the focus of her life. She raised two children with the help of her family, was a domestic worker by career most of her life, was the first to buy and own her own homes in a very segregated area, had substantial savings and lived single and happy until she was ninety years old!
She caught a lot of pushback and condemnation from others, especially from Men, because she was way ahead of her time and of course she didn't have the technology to spread the word as we do now.
Yet she still constantly and consistently over and over taught me(and any other little girl she could find)that it's natural to want a man but living as if having a man is the end all be all is slow painful suicide. That loving ourselves as Women first should be our ultimate priority.
I wish she could have still have been here to see what you Awesome Ladies are doing in 2023!
I miss you, My Beautiful Beloved Grandmother!❤
#ThankYouMa6ryCook
❤
Also, one of the ladies mentioned letting go of friends who refuse to decentre men and i agree. I recently let go of a friend who was constantly seeking male validation because now it was infringing on me and my life, to the point where she told a man whom i was interested in about my SA because she wanted me to seem less than in his eyes, and it was things like that, that made me realise that you genuinely cannot have those kinds of people in your circle if you're trying to decentre men because you will constantly clash, and they'll end up doing foul things to you in hopes of piquing the interest of a man, while jeopardising whatever friendship they have with you...
Sounds like she was not a true friend and focused on being a pick me!!!
It is even more sad when it is family members. I can not be friends with any of my female cousins because all of them are pick mes!
Jesus christ I'm sorry she did that to you. How vile.
I don’t think we need to be that drastic tho. We should be able to have our own ideals and separate life choices. If you end a friendship, it’s just asking her to decenter men and replacing them with the opinions and validations of other women. It’s SO important as women to allow other women THEIR right to be truly FREE.
...does having an SA in our past make others see us as "less than"? News to me.
I heard yanie saying this too. Theres more to life than stressing about men.
So true! I follow Yanie too
I'm decentrring everyone and everything that rakes away from me
Some men won't even wash themselves and they will act like it's a flex. I knew this guy that you could smell before you even saw him. One time he proudly announced that he partied till the middle of the night so he only had three hours of sleep and that is why he didn't have time/was too tired to shower or put on fresh clothes that didn't smell of BO, vomit and alcohol(I think he shit his pants too). He had the audacity to go around asking people for hugs and he only asked women of course.
At my military college in the 90s, the guys would see how long they could go without washing their wool pants, and one guy said in December that he’d not washed his pants all semester.
Its always the stainkest mfs trying be close to someone...like eww go bathe sir 🙄
hmmm I did hear that a lot of women are having bad experiences with men not washing their butt hole. It hasn't happened to me yet but there's has been too many women claiming this.
The worst it's that if they don't hug him they gonna be portrayed as the Bad ones and maybe get in trouble, tell hr or show this to those coworkers, if they don't respect You dont Give them Your time and work as an employee, it's time that 4busers face consequences in every way, that includes job owners who praise 4busers
P.U! grab the hose and soak him
My friends were having so much sex in high school and just obsessing over guys all the. My friend when she was on acids confessed all her insecurities to me and asked “ why are guys so respectful towards you”
I’ve subconsciously decentralized men my whole life, I just naturally like being alone and with that I’ve basically continuously improved myself for the past 10 years so when I’m ready for a partnership, I know exactly what I’m looking for after observing and thinking about it for years
And I really think that's the thing, the ones who gave it up in their early years has that attachment to how men value them, not knowing that that isn't the way you want someone to see your value, also the ones who didn't get that attention and just cared wayy to much about it, and the ones who did get that attention A LOT so their foundation on self worth is based off men's attraction to them.
You sound like me I couldn't innerstand why everyone was so hopped up on dudes and having sex I got called the virgin Mary 😂
You have a good mindset this is what I’m gonna do I gotta stay away from men for a while
Men have always respected me way more than other women who were chasing after them. I am exactly like you. I never had people pleasing behavior with them or gave them what they wanted. Men will complain about it just to see what they can get out of you but in reality they respect you compared to a woman who gives them everything for nothing.
I'm the same way! I'm still young but I've been alone for a lot of my life. And just like you I'm finally ready to be with someone. I haven't got attention from boys, and I've never had a crush on anyone either. It's another reason why I would be confused when my peers were a bit "boy crazy" during my school years.
Of course I did have feelings of missing out, but I'd rather focus on becoming the better version of myself first. Now I know what I want in a relationship (at least an idea of it).
"Men can't even wash their ass"😂😂😂😂the pressure we put our self
Ohh man that humbling part is so true. Today a guy told me that no one would date or marry someone like me but would def f**k me. I've repeatedly told him that im not into him. He tell me im not vuloptous enough or very sexy or that good looking. I told him again that idgaf.
So tell me why he suddenly told me that the hes being mean is because it breaks the confidence of woman?!. So even the hottest girl would choose the most busted up guy because he has convinced her thats he's doing her a favour by dating her. WILD.
That's outright evil. And they admit that they're evil. That speaks volumes.
They are degenerates who don't mean you any good. It's psychological and verbal abuse. Insecure males try to use abuse to bring women down to their level so they can control and manipulate them for their own selfish, f*cked up agenda. They don't give a damn about women. They actually hate women and are secretly jealous of them. All they want to do is control you, put you beneath them and keep you there.
Men like this are so slow. Women know that the only reason men are in our face is because they find us attractive. Otherwise they would not have even looked at us.
Yeah...that didn't happen. Words aren't really spells. Just stop
They are very manipulative
I still date but I understand this 100% ❤ you do have to have a certain mindset when dealing with men or you’ll get taken advantage of. You should be just as selfish as them. Never put their needs first! And be aware of the men that try to ruin your self esteem.
All facts, best comment ❤
I feel like you can still decenter men even when you're dating or in a relationship. For instance, I'm not going to cancel plans with my friends just to make myself available to you, pick another day.
Good point!!!
I only met a decent man once I stopped dating them. Idk if it's just that most of the awful dudes are on dating apps and whatnot or what, but like a year after I stopped dating men, met the best man I've ever met in my life.
@@TheAwesomes2104 I think the worst of them are "actively" dating, or more appropriately actively looking for a little wifey to take care of them and put up with their abuse. men who aren't actively dating are doing the same stuff we are: focusing on ourselves and on trying to be good people and not pedestalizing romantic relationships.
I don’t have to decenter men because I never centered men in the first place. 😂
As long as you grow up in patriarchy you are centering men because this human created world is catered to them
Yes, I'm so proud of young women who get it! Spread the word by teaching this to your daughters. Make sure you carry because the men are angry about this. Women with sons need to teach them accountability and make sure they are productive boys.
Exactly. A woman on tiktok got hit in the face with a brick because she said no to a guy asking for her number
Trust me. Men aren't angry about this. Because this kind of mindset will certainly bring women's body counts drastically down and that's what most men want. The average woman nowadays has the body count in the dozens. De-centering men means she will either die a virgin or commit to the right man. More women should sign up for this.
@@alexavasquez1992Was a made up story. She could now face jail time for filing a fake police report.
This is so important, thank you for making this. Women literally murder their kids for men. Pick mes are dangerous.
I realized that I do not have anything a man wants and so they leave me alone. When I want sex I'll have it but other than that what the hell else is there. I pay my own bills and make my own money and have healthy relationships with friends and family. What else do I need? Wish I had known this when I was in my 20's and 30's.
You need a good mother, maybe then you'd know what men were for
YOU FIGURED IT OUT NOW AND THATS THE POINT.
@@Kim_YoJong they are for absolutely nothing in the modern world...
@@hloefx8745 then how did you get here?
@@Kim_YoJongmiss Kim, it’s evident OP is prob in her 40s and doesn’t want kids.
Because at this point just a simple sperm doner will do.
Ive been feeling this way since my break up. Thought i was just being a "bitter Betty. But watching this made me realize that im going through a major mind shift and that this is good for my growth.
Bitter Betty, I like that, LOL. I'm just happy the ladies are seeing the light
Same here
Same
For me, it was working in an old folks home and seeing the men left in there that have NO visitors because they were awful to their wives and children....
Old men with money and the young wives who are still going strong WITHOUT their husbands who now need around the clock care, and have left them there....
Or they're there because they just didn't take care of themselves....
even though their wives tried to get them to take their meds, see the doctor, eat better etc and those women were more like MOTHERS to their own husband's...
Growing old with someone isn't as glamorous or romantic as movies and TV make it seem!!!
Choose wisely ladies!
I'm so proud of this generation of women. You all aren't wasting your time anymore like we did. I love it ❤
Right??!! I feel exactly the same way
its so sad how much of us waste our lives on useless men who can't even do anything for us.
Can’t and won’t!!!
Just a waste of time
As a lesbian, I’m not sure if it counts, but I have completely forgotten men exist at times. I have a male free household and unless my daughter is talking about a boy she likes, they rarely come up in conversation. When I was still closeted (waaaay back at before I came out at 19), even knowing I was not attracted to men, I felt like every one of my actions was centered around men. Be it my family members, my male friends, or guys who were trying to get with me. I was so unhappy with myself. Once I finally allowed myself to be true to myself, men faded to the background and I have never felt so free. That freedom carried into my professional life and I stopped feeling like I needed to shrink myself down at work. I shut down misogynistic conversations had by my family members. I can easily see the red flags in my friends’ relationships because I no longer believe toxicity spewed by men is valid. I’m a better professional, I’m a better mom, I’m a better human all because I stopped allowing men to play a role in my life unless they are vetted and have proven themselves to be worthy of my time.
whoo-hoo!!💰💰💰
As amazing as that is… you still bred.
That means you had relations with a man or injected yourself with his s fluid.
And ultimately you’ve created a daughter that will have to endure the same turmoils of a patriarchal existence.
Yay for you, but not so much for her …
I'm in my late 20s and just coming to the realization that I'm a lesbian, previously I always thought I was bi and just hadn't clicked with any men yet lol. But I realized I was getting sooo much of my validation and self-worth from attention from men, and being accepted as a "cool" girl, and I'm starting to unpack that and learn who I really am and what I really want in my life. I think I still have a while on my journey before I feel fully okay without depending on that outside validation. My world view is shifting a lot in decentering men and being able to stop seeing women as "competition" and trying to form deep platonic relationships with women, which I haven't really had since high school. Luckily I do live in a city with a lesbain bar and women-centered spaces which is very helpful. I have to separate my whole idea of who I am as a person from the male gaze, which is sad to acknowledge.
To be honest, being a lesbian really doesn’t do anything but replace a male with a female. It’s still centering someone outside of yourself.
On top of that, if you’re sexually active with women, you’re still getting wrapped up in soul ties, external validation, risk for diseases, etc. Also, have you seen the stats for female domestic abuse? (That’s besides the point)
I’m not trying to shame you at all. I’m only providing perspective on what it means to actually decenter men. The end goal is to center yourself.
@@AWholeVibe96 most women do not seem capable 🤔
I am soooo happy this is catching on. I have decentered men years ago.. the best thing I ever did in my entire life!
I guess, I decentered men long ago...just was not conscious about. I always had my priorities. Like my own coloring books ... I didn't stop working on them just because my boyfriend at the time wanted me to spend more time at home/his home. I told him I got to do my books. My desires were more important to me than his desires for me to work in his home ... crazy!!!
If a man makes me the center of his life. I automatically thought something was wrong with him. I can't be with you 24/7 ... like!!! you do have a life besides me!?!
Girl I'm trying to get like you!!!
You mean you hit the wall in your mid-twenties and it was downhill from there, until you decided to get in front of it somehow and claim that your inability to attract men was in fact your own decision. lol
I have freed myself from the thought of needing a man in my life 10 years ago after I had a child for my ex husband who has abandoned me during my pregnancy and missed the birth of our daughter and had the audacity to come back into my life after I gave birth, he punished me by not being in our child’s life. I’m so glad I have ended it long time ago before I was manipulated into having more for such a person who lacks empathy and compassion. People now a days ask me what’s the secret to me looking young , I tell them it’s staying away from men 😭😭😭 and it truly is cos I have less stress in my life and I don’t have anyone to make me question my own sanity by playing mind games with me
Men show their true colors after a child
So sorry to hear that.
It's always buffled me how me how men think being a parent is optional after becoming a parent.
💯💯💯 questioning our phychicness
@@VeeKayGreenerGrassBechase they don’t get stuck with the baby. That’s why I believe giving the kids to the man. Especially boys. Too much damn stress.
True they lose focus after the children
The realization that males are incapable of love is wat got me. Shout out to the "Queen maker" .
Girl yes! Spread the word!
Yeah love for Princella
Here's another one. There are two options, one is that she's the problem.. the other is that all men are the problem. She insists that all men are the problem but it is a LOT more likely that the fault lies with her own personality or her own inability to capitalize on her age and looks while she still had them. I bet she turned down more than a few "nice guys" over the years and now she wonders where all the nice guys have gone.
@@MrJBA79 ......mr nice guy is a facade. Keep ur options. I think and speak for myself. Males are globally the problem in the oppression of women and girls. 50 years from now I hope they call this " the great divorce" and u males know ur place on this planet.
@@MrJBA79you are sad😂 all these women are talking about men which you represent. Must be hard😂😂
So many times, the men who dumped me from previous relationships have come back. I stopped centring men in my early 30's. I bought multiple properties, renovated them, & sold them for a profit.
Now I am 53, almost mortgage free & single.
No regrets. The men who return to me are all in worse shape than when they left.
I'm just happy 😊
Thank you for these clips. All very true in my experience.
I aspire to be like you, thanks for your comment ❤❤ so Happy for you
@PanteraRosa91 just go for what you like to do. Build your support network and be happy. So many fantastic relationships I have built via real estate queens. 👑
I am a proud member of the movement.
So am I
Same
Before this decentering men movement began, i already did. I was like 25. One thing that put me under alot of stress was doing all i can to get a man to marry me or be with me. I tried so much then i told myself this men and Marriage is truly putting me under alot of unwanted pressure. I decided to forsake men and Marriage and focus on this life God gave me. I felt peace when i decided to stop stressing about men and marriage. I was relaxed but the men around me became pissed off and telling me that i will grow old,sad and bitter. Like, i haven't been bitter enough, sad enough and felt alone enough stressing over men and marriage. I feel peace not trying to date or marry. It's been beautiful to me. I have always done things alone with or without a man. Being single just felt so comfortable. I come back when i want, eat what i like, sleep in peace without someone bothering me at 2:00a.m for seggs or comparing me to overly filtered Instagram photos. Not having to accept reckless disappointment or drama. When i say i feel peace, Trust me it's so peaceful.
It's Not that then men didn't want me, no that wasn't the case. They just played too much games or want you to be a fool for them. I just couldn't
💜💜💜
Facts same manipulation , mind games etc you get tired of it all
I made a clear decision last year to just stay single permanently. At first, I thought it was a me problem, but when I started hearing from many women that its definitely a global issue.
I knew that decentering men was an important decision and have seen my life improve 1000%.
I can finally focus on whats important and life is much easier to navigate.
De center and don't forget, give a helping hand to the woman behind you!
Yes!!!!
Thanks Auntie ❤
I'm 40 and I'm so happy they get it 😁.
Thank you for this as a 18 year old girl but are you guys really impressed or motivated becuase all I see is older women that are attacking us younger women and I'm talking about specifically conservative women that are very anti women and from a outdside perspective they are usually and mostly american women talking the most.
OMG! As a child of the 60s I'm so proud of you 21st century young women taking up the mantle for *women are human BEINGS just like men* ! 👏🏾🫶🏾🖖🏾🧑🏾🦱👧🏽👩👱♀️💐
❤❤
Some men are triggered in the comments section, you must be doing something right then!
Committed to mistreating you.
This is facts.
The amount of effort they put into it is astounding.
This made me realize that the reason I’m 35 and never had a relationship last longer than 7 months is because I’ve never centered men and I’m not good at it even when I was much younger and literally TRYING to. I’ve always been so confused about why men never seemed to want me even though I have so much to offer and it’s because men don’t actually want a woman who has her shit together.
I was offering men access to my world (which I thought was normal), but they want full custody. They want to be in full control of my world, and to deny me any access to theirs. When I deny them this arrangement they dip.
If you’re really still trying for companionship (idk why because it’s a headache when you share ur life with someone else), you should just get bfs. Not a husband, just get bfs who can take you on dates but never reveal your profession or income or anything. You’re literally there to get spoiled for the gf bf things but you aren’t obliged to sex so if he asks for sex, take that disagreement as the sign to leave and find a new bf. even if it means that it’s like every day you’re meeting a new person, don’t settle down unless he’s really really willing to jump through hoops to be with you. Make it difficult on purpose so it’s easier to break things off without risking your womb and sexual health.
20% of men divorce or separate from their wives after their wife is diagnosed with cancer or MS.
I'd love to have the numbers for how many men actually take care of their wives with cancer like the wives take care of men with cancer because I'm sure it's not remotely 80%.
Yes, i saw that when a wife has any type of desease like cancer or any chronic desease their husbands abandon them or make their lives harder, this was six times more likely to happen than the opposite, however this was in 2009, now that the divorce rate increased You can bet the percentage it's Even bigger
Edit
SEVEN times in 2020
"Women have almost equal representation in the workplace and in 41% of US homes, women are the breadwinners. More men than ever are stay-at-home fathers. And yet, when a woman falls ill, it can really reveal the extent to which men not only feel entitled to a certain level of housework"
Yup, they're SIX TIMES more likely to bail than women are. It's the same reason why the most common time for men to start affairs is right after their wife/gf has a baby. In both cases she has to take care of herself or a baby instead of giving him 24/7 attention so he goes & finds a another woman he can get it from. It's sickening!!
This is so the husband does not get stuck with medical bills because in most states the married person will receive the bills. How do I know this? My mother and step father were going to divorce when my mom was diagnosed with late stage breast cancer. They never did, but that is why. Please do not just drop statistics without knowing them in detail. It’s far deeper than that.
@@lanaaa6213 there's stats about ABANDONING, and it's SEVEN times they husband leaving the wife, don't try to portray stats as lies to deflect the fact You dont have any evidence
@@lanaaa6213your comment is confusing.
It’s insane because I am always radical with my thoughts and then suddenly stuff starts popping up about what I started doing years ago. I’m the center of my universe.
This I swear
Same!!!
It just was inevitable, you just happened to catch the wave earlier, this is not slowing down, this is growing bigger! And I can’t can’t wait for it 😭💜
decentering men has been a lifted weight. ladies especially in a relationship, marriage or w.e. LIVE UR LIFE. do NOT let them try to negate u from: getting a higher education, pursuing hobbies or outside activities that can also be side businesses, and especially KEEP U FROM UR SAFTEY CIRCLE (friends, family, ppl u trust and love)!
Enjoy every inch of yourself, for yourself! you are SOOO worth it!! 2023 and just bought a house & about to graduate with honors❤❤❤
“Men are incapable of love”-Princella The QueenMaker. When I learned this, it made so much sense. And it’s freeing in a way.
We are very capable of it, but the guys who are horrible to women also push us around and make us feel lesser than them, so we dont really interact with girls much because unfortunately we dont feel good enough. Please know though that plenty of us are loving, unfortunately thats just not the men who are held up in society
@@wingedferret5713proving why women need to be single
@@77kc_77 how?
@wingedferret5713 because most men lack the skills to attract, communicate, and build relationships for women- you men are too much of a project! You need therapy!
@@wingedferret5713 Unfortunately these videos attract a lot of women who have resentment towards the men in their lives and then project it onto the rest of men in society, the content creators don't address it because it is such a big part of their audience.
YES I’ve been single for a few years after my partner passed away, & I haven’t had any desire to find someone else. I’ve actually been feeling very “anti-relationship” & I love that for me.
Same. I did find an interest in someone recently, but I disappear when I want to. I don't make him my priority. I'm happy that way. Come when I need you, otherwise stay away from me. I'm not with the headaches and I damn sure don't want to have to grieve over another one.
@@iamdangerous5189 I’ve been doing that too! I’m not interested in dating these guys & they’ve asked what my deal is so I explain that I’m not willing to feel like interactions are an obligation. I’ll reply to texts when I want to, don’t expect anything from me.
I don’t care if it comes off as selfish. I’m trying to protect myself from experiencing that grief all over again by not getting too close in the first place. Go elsewhere if you need that deep connection with someone bc you won’t be getting it from me.
Same widow 3 years now and not interested AT ALL!! and I love it for me too..
Currently trying to decenter my life from my father and his son. They've done irreparable damage to me in my childhood, and I'm sick and tired of appealing to their rules AND the rules enforced by my female relatives. It's lonely but atleast I don't feel like ripping my skin off with how disgusting, suffocating and exhausting their 'familial love' was.
totally understand and relate ❤❤❤❤
i wish you the best queen 💗
I stan NOT rearranging your life for a dude. Don't move for them don't take a certain job for them. I did that once and never again.
I just want to add I’ve been child free by choice since I was a child I am 50 years old right now and I have never ever regretted that choice, not even for two seconds. I had at least three men in my past to try to baby trap me.
Men have never been at the center of my life. 🤷🏾♀️
Same
@@77kc_77 lol period.
I'm glad this message is being spread cause these dudes are going insane about women being able to take care of themselves without being in a system that FORCED women to overly depend on them for survival which lead to a lot of abuse.
Now, these males are openly talking about taking away women's rights just to feel important again this is how fragile their ego's are. So grateful for women being hip to the nonsense.
As fragile as women’s egos for truly believing they are the “prize”?Despite offering nothing but sex and complaining about the modern conveniences they have in today’s society that (shocker alert) were/are being built and supported by men? I’m all for this movement. Maybe when I call up a plumber to fix my toilet, or call up the electrician that it’ll end up being a woman coming instead of burly built hairy man. Oh wait, women don’t actually want to work if it’s not a pretty office space where they won’t have to get their hands dirty or risk their lives for society
Taking away women's rights? They'll have to kill me first 😤. Under no circumstances am I going down without a fight. 😡
These guys are crazy
I'm done with men of today and want to be left alone for peace of mind
My mother told me men will sleep with anything. So don't always think you're the prize of anything because they will definitely sleep with anything.
My entire life can be summarized by men trying to squash me down, put me down and dim my light. I'm a beautiful, talented and thin woman. Men comment on my weight, my artist talent, the fact that I'm getting some gray hairs 🤣 I'm so over it.
Few grey hairs and wrinkles doesn't make you less deserving of love , happiness and peace and it doesn't make you less capable . Aging happens to everyone who lives long enough. As if they themselves are perfect and won't get old
“Yall are competing with corpses” 😂 I cannot
During my 2yr relationship with a guy who turned abusive 6mo in, I passively allowed him to chase off all my friends, tantrum any time I wanted to go out w/o him, etc. until he became my entire social life. I thought I was so in love, that we'd get married, so I was content placing him at the center of my life. He abused me for 1.5yrs and then abruptly left me for his coworker, like one day I woke up and found myself *completely alone*. It's been years and my social life has never recovered, I lost all my friendships. And for what? A guy who treated me like shit and tossed me aside when he found a new mark. I'm a cautionary tale, NEVER do what I did. Decenter men, prioritize
healthy friendships!
❤❤❤
Similar experience, except I'm a man. She was a narcissist, therapy helps. I am just now reconnecting with my friends.
men have honestly caused me so much pain in my life, from family members to my personal relationships. Im sick of it! taking a break from dating has helped but its just been so many decades of my life revolving around men, I dont wanna do it anymore.
Same in 2 months I'm going off grid and doing me without men in my way
The men under this post trying to humble women with their long paragraphs need to watch a video on decentering women from their lives ASAP
Men cant seee happy single women
I realised at a young age
Especially engineering college
Men hate confident women
My sister went to school for Engineering. I think she was one of the few women there.
She has a job now and i don't think she'll ever find a guy. I think that says enough about the male dating market.
@@rabidfirefox8914 smart woman
Trust me, us real men hate men who think like this, it's poisonous and it would feel pretty horrific the other way round, my gf has a job and im so proud of her and all the work she is doing
@@wingedferret5713more men like you are needed ❤ thank u, wish you both the best
Decentering men is so life changing because in my experience men are the people who want/try to restrict me the most. I’m over it
There’s more to life than being a mother and wife. The tik tok of the gal explaining how our frontal lobe isn’t fully developed and if we take on that mother wife task too young we will center ourselves out whole lives on it and it’s not healthy, and that’s a good reason to decentralize men. They’ll marry these young 18 year olds, fill her up with kids and abandon the entire family by the time she’s 25 and she’s doing it all alone. Wasting life away all because once upon a time she believes some guy. Meanwhile he’s starting all over with someone else while demeaning her and calling her “bitter”. These men really don’t have much to offer in society but misery to women and babies they won’t help out with at all unless it’s to fuel their pathetic ego
💯💯💯
Word for word what happened to me, married at 18 divorced at 22. I'm glad I have my kids though ❤
Women are tired of the BS
Thank you! Even as a Christian woman, it is so important to not make my journey and purpose centered around men. We tend to forget God once a man comes into our lives, and that is idolatry. I'm so glad that, even with my friends who are in relationships, we don't go on about their dudes. Love it, ladies.
You ladies are onto something! YES! I'm glad this generation figured this out so young. 😊❤
So much joy in life outside of romantic relationship . My friendships bring me more joy.
That's right attitude, lean right into it.. because what other God damn options have you got?
@@MrJBA79lol seriously you're bitter
LOL, that's the pot calling the kettle black. you all are literally up here burning your online bras and swearing off men for good. Don't project your bitterness onto me please and thank you. @@citrus3603
Mid 30's here. My spirit has been calling me to prioritize myself for once. Not family friends or a man. Met a "nice/good guy" after an abusive relationship. Found out he wasn't better. Nice, but still a man in the way we're all talking about right now. Loved my drive etc until I couldn't prioritize him over work or wouldn't do so over myself. I explained how I move with men and that I didn't want to do that anymore. He claimed he understood but not really. I don't know who I am what I like how I like my hair etc.
21:00 this! She said it so perfectly, and this is why I really don’t like women calling other women stupid because she’s with a man or dealing with abuse. Bc besides her own reasons, the world makes it expensive in every way to be single. You almost have to be wealthy to single, even though we want that, it’s because the world wants women to serve men and have children for more labor. It needs to stop
I did this. I got out of a bad 4-year-long abusive relationship, straight after getting out of being groomed.
Had to pause and find who I am, deprogram my brain and appreciate myself ... and suddenly life was so much more fun haha. I ended up falling in love slowly with a man who is constantly holding me up and encouraging me in every way now, because he fell in love with my confidence and who I am, he never holds me back and now I actually have time to work on myself and my interests without feeling a shred of guilt.
Good luck to everyone starting their journey
What would you say is being groomed? Just so I know. Though in retrospect I can see what guys were doing to groom.
@@victoria.xseven7913 The grooming wasn't done by my ex, I was (between the age 11-16) being groomed online by a man in his 20's with his main aim to initially meet me irl for obvious intentions, but ultimately I was so brainwashed his intentions changed to using me to get in contact with other minors. Love bombed, separated from my support, turned against my support, used as a CP funnel which he sold online to other men.
I can't really define what grooming is as the definition seems so broad now, but I know what I went through was 1000% grooming for my entire teenage years.
@@EllieJ-ci8qg do you mean like prepping someone for the intimate act...usiary?
@@victoria.xseven7913 more-so like they were conditioning me to be ok with it or to believe that intimacy is akin to validation so I seek all my validation through them through these acts, by establishing a relationship with me. Warping my mind gradually so they can use me. Also grooming me with an attempt to eventually being physical with me aka assault me. Thankfully my parents found out just in time.
I remember being like 18/19 and questioning myself like “why do I always have a crush on some boy/man” there was never a break, it was one guy to the next. I truly feel like there’s a spiritual aspect to it and that by becoming aware of it then you can become free.
I've always been like this throughout my adolescence but I always thought something was wrong with me since it is so normal to center men. Looking at some of my friends and people in my life I realise some of the most beautiful women have the most lowest self esteem so I think the first woman is so on point. You never know how spiteful people will be to see someones worth and try so hard to bring them down and ruin their self esteem just so they can have a chance with them.
I didn’t know this was a “thing” but I am all in this energy. I was dating an older guy, thought he was coo but he wanted to lay up too much for me. I had to let him go and realized I don’t like laying up. I feel like it’s a task if it feels good or not. Men only want that from me. That’s all I ever got from every man I was involved with. No one was trying to be serious and be a couple. So I’m good all on my own. I used to say “I can do bad by myself” scratch that I can do GREAT by myself. Middle finger to the male being! Fr Fr!
Same here. They only ever wanted sex. And even the one guy that didn't want sex at all and I thought was so compatible with me, ended up friend zoning me.
Wow - finally!!! I love this conversation. I decided 40 yrs ago not to bear their mini me's- i had just had one and turned down several proposals. I was wiser than I knew until of course - my life now - is FREE!!!!
Wow, I know this is about decentering men but that white woman gagged me with the anti racism work. That’s an ally right there. I appreciate that a lot as a black woman because she didn’t have to go the extra mile to learn, a lot of ppl don’t. That touched me today.
Same!
Same here. I’ve also realized racism is a product of patriarchy too. I’m not excusing racism or saying that women can’t be racist but I notice it goes hand in hand. Men like dominating and having something to themselves. They are also superficial. “You belong to me b/c you look like me”. Women are resources, that’s why we have more value.
As a black girl I’m learning to put my womanhood first and race second. I don’t even identify with the black community. They hate women and children, I’m convinced. I’m proud to be ME because I am me, not just because I’m black. I am excellent, because I am excellent!!! I feel like a lot of black women isolate themselves from other women and womanhood b/c they think they won’t be accepted by other groups of women (and ofc not ALL will accept you) because of they’re race, when really it’s your low self esteem. (That’s been my experience)
If you love you, others will too. It’s doesn’t have to be “just us” or we don’t have to take the lead all the time 😅.
@@Universal_Roseeverything you said!
This makes me feel so much better! It reminds me that being in a relationship isn't a prize. It reminds me to not give up on going out and having fun just to sit around and sulk about a no-good man all day. It reminds me to NOT listen to women who brag about their relationships to overcompensate and hide the misery they are constantly experiencing. It reminds me not to fall for men's lies...wow. We ladiews really arent missing out on anything.
I cried more in a relationship than I did with myself & loving myself more ❤ relationship takes a lot of work and most of the time people don’t understand what it takes for a healthy relationship to progress. I’m single and happy, although I do go on dates. Dating has made me realize what I want for myself rather than looking for that man. Idk if it makes any sense.
I think as people, as single people we center ourselves, our growth, our love for us.
It should be about becoming whole outside of a partner, a friend group or a family structure so that you can be the strongest you.
The pressures of marrying and having children are exhausting and that’s why I will not sign up for these pressures. I’m in my 40s, unmarried, no children and I will still live a fruitful life!!🎉 I’ve been decentering men since 2020!! Lol!! Women, taking care of yourself first is definitely self care and NOT SELFISH!!!
I’m so glad videos like this exist now for women. I am just now in my 40s finally realizing how I messed up my whole life centering men. It’s so deep inside you don’t even realize it. Now that I know, I am rebuilding my life. It takes work but these videos help so much.
3:36 bro I literally had a friend like this where all we would do is just talk about men for HOURS like almost every day and it got to the point where I just avoided her because her energy was so draining. I'm trying to detach myself from her now.
It takes much to convince the average man of anything; and perhaps nothing can ever make him realize that he is the average woman’s inferior - yet in several important details the evidences seems to show that that is what he is. - Mark Twain
Once Made Equal Women Are Proven To Be Men's Superior - Socrates
Single has always been the Happy life ❤do what you want when you want whenever you want and not have to worry about the stresses of a relationship.
It equals heaven for me
I am done with dating, i am 40, i am hot, i am happy and vibrant, i pay for my own stuff, i am educated, fun, i am an amazing dancer. Even being on tider for about 2 years has left me exhausted, super weird gross guys at times, other guys made so many promises and i planned ahead, so much time wasted. Someome promised me dance shoes and then i didn't hear from person in a month. Is like if she is from tinder it's ok to lie.
I understand you so much. Delete the dating apps, it's for the best.