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I dated/lived with a man with children for 12 years. I generally don’t do regret but if i could do it over, i would never make that choice again. Thankfully I never married him. I had that much sense. They are not your children and never will be, but you must put them before everything. And to be a decent person in this situation, it really does require you to put aside a lot of your own priorities to support them. This adds a huge amount of stress to the relationship and while you’re in honeymoon phase it’s all well and good. It gets old. More than that, parents are on a completely different life journey than someone without children. The journey they are on comes with a lot of joy but it also comes with a lot of limitations and downside. As a step parent you get none of the joy and all of the limitations and downside. Just my opinion based on my own experience but there you have it.
I hate the term “step”. You’re a bonus to their lives! Bonus mom! My parents are divorced and my mom’s husband is my bonus dad! He’s such a gift! As you are to them! ❤
Being a stepparent is a wonderful blessing. When my stepdad married my mom, he let us choose what to call him, i call him dad. You are in a relationship with someone who has children, it doesn’t matter that you’re not married. When his children are with you, you’re providing a loving environment. So with that being said, you are a bonus mom.
I don't know if I told you about my step-mother. She wasn't a nice person and I lived with fear while I lived with her or any time i was around her. So when I became a step mom, I knew what NOT to do. I left the disciplining to Dad and I was just friend and support. We always had/have a great relationship! it's so great that you are taking the time one-on-one to get to know them. I'm sure they will love you if they don't already!
You did tell me a little about her. That's so sad, I just don't understand it. Sometimes our greatest examples are those on how not to be. Very sad. Great idea to be a good supportive friend. You're a natural at that 😉 love ya! 💖
Hey Danna! I’m going to come from the POV of an angsty kid/teenager because that was me. 😂 I would be so irritated if you were trying to be a “step/bonus mom” to an adult it’s just a title but to a kid it means so much more. You’re “my dad’s girlfriend”. So I would just relax, get to know them, and have fun! That’s how my stepmom was and our relationship is great because she never tried to be that title even though she was that title. She was just my fun “aunt” is how I always thought of her. As an adult I totally see your side but I would just take a step back and let the “stepmom” come naturally. It’ll take time. I would especially not call myself that if I was waiting for Andy to decide if he wants more kids since that is a deal breaker for you. So for now just have fun with them! Get to know them, truly listen to them and don’t push anything. Also I can bet they’re watching these so I’d be a little careful about your titles. You may think they aren’t but if my dads gf did TH-cam I would 10000% be looking them up some way or another haha this is just MY opinion/thoughts it’s totally fine of you don’t agree!
The kickass stepmom podcast is a great resource. I think society can put a lot of pressure on stepmoms in ways we may not have even thought of, and this podcast helped me to feel seen and heard. So while I also have a great co-parenting relationship with the ex, the podcast helped me to feel validated in some of the feelings and experiences I was going through. Hope this helps!
Yes, that would be so awesome. I walk,lightly jog,work out but also have added a chair workout to the mix. it's okay but the instructor is a little boring but you would make it great fun!
Okay so yesterday I started your 12 week summer squeeze workout program and Idk what you're doing to me but ohhhhh my starrrs girl you're killin me and it was only day 1. By the time I hit these 12 weeks I'll be looking fantastic, I feel it today haha. Such a fantastic workout... EVERYONE GO DO HER WORKOUTS!!!! NO MORE EXCUSES... Thank you for being my inspiration to look and feel my best ❤
@@angelaclausing5565 thank you so much for the sweet message. So happy it’s working for you. It kicks my butt every time, but definitely worth it lol ✨✨✨
also, i totally understand what you mean by step-parent and how it's the same to you regardless. for many kids, it may be different because marriage tells them you are not going anywhere. especially if they are raised religiously- they may not have the sense of stability without you and andy being married.
@@tdonnell99 I don’t speak for the kids, only they can do that. I speak only from my experience/perspective. 😊 Obviously they each have their own individual experiences. I considered my stepmom a stepmom when she moved in. They didn’t marry for several years after. But another person May have a different experience. The one thing I know and can speak to is my own experience, so that’s what I’m comfortable talking about.
@@montanadanna yes, that was not a criticism of you at all, so i hope you didn't take it that way. i'm just sharing what i thought was possible based on my experience. either way, they are lucky to have you. i bet you are the most fun stepparent, official or not!
I love that you did the dates with the kids. I bet that made them each feel special and they also have a connection with each other that they each went on a date with you so that’s pretty cool. when you said kids just live in the moment, that’s just so true. I wrote down what I call a piece of wisdom from my niece. She’s now 15, but when she was 9 1/2, I was doing an activity with her one on one and she said; “I always can’t wait for the tomorrow” direct quote, not correct punctuation. ❤
@@glee105 I am someone who not only lives with them, but loves them and wants them to succeed, feel loved feel seen and feel at peace around. The point I’m making is I don’t care so much what the title is. The relationship is what I’m focused on and concerned about. Every step parent is a girlfriend/boyfriend before they are officially married. I will treat them no different if/when that label changes. Obviously those relationships take time to grow and I’m letting the children lead with the pace that is progressing. Things are certainly not always black-and-white although we might want them to be, and that’s OK. You can call it what you want. ✨✨
@@montanadanna I think you know what you need to do without all of our opinions. 😉💐. But it’s nice you listen to us all. Just don’t let us confuse you and enjoy each day as it comes. 💗. One day at a time.
I think from our side as viewers and supporters it gets confusing. Just three videos ago your video was titled something like "should I stay or go" You talked about becoming roommates. Now the conversation is about the dynamic of being a step-parent. I don't know but I assume some titles are for clicks but girl... Its confusing on where you stand. I think thats where the comments come to not call yourself a "step-parent" until marriage. When you would be actually parenting them and in their life long term. I support you no matter what but you go so strongly from leaving to step- parent.
@@renealynnmn I am genuinely going through a very confusing time right now. Just sharing my authentic experience and life is often confusing. So yes, confusion is the appropriate response. ☺️🥰 I’m trying to manage the confusion with loving hard on my man and his kids while we sort out whether we are compatible long-term or not. I appreciate the support and just trying hard to nurture myself and those around me even through difficult and confusing times 💖💖💖
@@gem28_ well it certainly is an odd situation. I moved in with the expectation that we would have a kid together Some day. That is a dealbreaker for me, and now that it is in question, it’s created a very uncertain situation for sure. Certainly questioning the relationship. But doesn’t stop me from loving everyone involved and wanting make the best of the situation.
@@montanadannathat’s understandable, as a step parent for 7 years myself I just wouldn’t try to even attempt to step into that role or aspects of the role until the relationship isn’t in question, but I get your position & having those dealbreakers. I would be hurt too if he changed his mind after I moved in or wasn’t sure. I can imagine the pressure or stress he may feel having to already support 3 kids but he may just need to feel safe in the relationship too & could want a family with you if he sees a future. Just keeping things as healthy for the kids as possible, I’d stay loving, friendly & “Dad’s girlfriend” to them until there’s no more uncertainty. Not judging, I know since conversations have changed you’re now feeling less secure of the future with him & I know that must be difficult just seemed like such a huge leap to go from pondering moving out to step mom conversation titles but I pray you guys work thru it, you seem happy & I’m glad Andy seems like a stable & supportive partner for you. There will never be a perfect person or situation but you guys seem pretty great & happy. ❤
For the sake of the kids feelings, I would not get them during the moms custody to spend private time bonding if the relationship is not solid. It sounds nice, but they could get attached and a main reason they are in your life is the status with Andy. I had bonded with a girlfriend of my dad's, but after they broke up, that ended and I never got closure. It's harder on the child, so we need to be sensitive navigating new relationships.
If the mother is fully involved with the kids. Meaning she parents her kids. You than don’t need to parent in any way. You can just be a friend. The parenting should fall under Andy and the mother
@@happyrose6168 thank you for the feedback. Yes, editing daily videos is certainly exhausting. I only do one run through and then just upload it. When I do weekly uploads, I watch through the video a few times and cut stuff out. I appreciate you letting me know how it’s coming across. ✨✨
I had my son when I was 17. His dad became involved when he was 5. His dad had a girlfriend who he married and had more children with. We were all friends. We would go on family ski trips together and stay in the smae vacation rental. My son is all grown up now, so I don't see his dad & step-mom much, but last year when he got his PhD at U-Penn we all went and hung out together and had a great time. I am also close with his Dad's parents and siblings, and my parents are close with them too. It feels like we are all family, and I love that my son has never had to choose between us. We can all be together.
I don’t have a ton of advice - I’m newly separated with kids and only recently started dating but the idea of having anyone super involved still terrifies me! I will say, the guy I’m seeing is definitely someone I can picture being around my kids and involved at some point but luckily he’s really patient with that and how I feel! I will say, these kids are extremely lucky to have you in their life! And I love that you did the one on one dates
I didn’t get a step mom until I was 25. My parents fought a lot, it doesn’t matter how old you are, it hurts when your parents fight because of divorce.my parents just hated each other for years. They both have personality disorders. But after about 10 years they were better together and we could all get together for Christmas, it was nice. I did not have a relationship with my mom until about two years before she died. Life just sucks sometimes.❤❤❤
That sounds so painful! 🤗💖 I'm sorry you had that experience with your parents. Happy you could all get together for Christmas tho. I don't have a relationship with my mom and can relate a lot. Hope you're taking care of your heart 💖
Certainly understand your position at this point regarding marriage. At some point in the future I think you’ll see that it is more than a ‘label’. Lots of legal, medical, etc., things are much smoother if you’re a spouse. From financial beneficiary to medical decision making, having the legal right to those things is pretty important. Can you tell my husband was a Trust Officer? 😆 Enjoy your relationship in the present and hopefully things will move at their own pace.
@@jimtiedje3868 i’m not opposed to getting married, if I had a child with someone I’d probably want to get married, I’m just saying it’s not something I dream about or is a bucket list item like it is for most people. Hopefully it will evolve into that type of relationship eventually. I’m in no hurry though.
All the points you make a valid and i agree with them. You have objective and healthy view towards the kids. If you bring light energy into their lives, the rest will be ok. Good luck🎉🎉🎉
Sometimes you can wish people would listen to themselves over and over to answer their own questions. What i hear is you don’t have a “great relationship”,”should you stay or go”,due to you wanting a child,”how do you be a step mom”? How about being the person who is spending time with a guy and his kids. Cause as we all see,you could bolt any minute and break those involved hearts!
If you do not marry you are not eligible for his pension when he passes away nor are you eligible for pulling off his social security which both could be thousands of dollars when you are older. It also prevents you from being added to his health insurance.
There are other ways of going about that. Domestic partnership, etc., I’m just saying that marriage is not my goal, a healthy relationship is. If a marriage feels like the right next step, I am all for it. 💖💖
@@montanadannadomestic partnership only goes so far. The federal government doesn’t recognize it, you can’t legally claim each other as family, etc etc etc
Men treat girlfriends and wives totally different. Girlfriends are the fun superficial love and distraction from responsibilities, and wives are the deeper long lasting love with intense responsibilities. Most men do not want to remarry after they have been divorced - especially if they are still (secretly/deeply) in love with their ex-wives. It's hard to be a second wife after the first. You almost can't compete. I am generalizing, but generally this is how men think/feel/operate. Even if they don't admit it! Just be careful! You don't want to end up feeling used after years of good service to a man who will never love you or give you the commitment you want. It seems like you are compromising. And when a woman compromises, she will never be truly happy. When a man proposes marriage and the woman accepts - it is his public declaration of love and devotion and ultimate commitment. Men don't take marriage nearly as lightly as women. When a man doesn't want to get married, that means he doesn't see you as the one and he doesn't plan on ever committing or giving you that sacrificial love. That's how men view marriage/commitment (it does not matter how you view marriage, it matters how the man views marriage because he is the one that will be laying down his life for his wife and family). *Btw, I'm more worried about you, than the kids. I think the kids are totally fine at this point and whatever effort you make with them is probably 100x's more than the average woman would make. I'm sure you are a bright light to their worlds and of course to Andy's. I'm just saying... ADVOCATE (*advocate meaning get everything you can possibly get and do not sacrifice) FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR NEEDS, WANTS, DESIRES!!! Don't settle for less than you want!!! Men are very, very, intelligent (much more than we give them credit for) and they say right upfront what they want. And if you think you can change a man's mind then you will regret it later. And if you compromise and give up your dreams to cater to what a man wants... honey... you will end up broken hearted every single time. That's allll I'm sayin'
this is all SO TRUE. i always roll my eyes when i hear a woman say, "it's just a piece of paper!" 1. bc it's NOT at all just that to a man, esp a religious one and 2. they are MANY serious advantageous reasons to be legally married that are not avail under domestic partnership. related to death, children, pensions, taxes, illness, family leave, disability, SS, etc.
While I agree that it doesn’t require a marriage certificate to be in a committed relationship I can tell you from experience that it made a huge difference when tragedy hit! Years ago I lived with my fiance and 4 months before we were to get married he passed away unexpectedly. Never in a million years did I think his mother and sibling would swoop in and clean out OUR apartment without my consent, do all funeral arrangements without me present, take any of his possessions they liked and left me high and dry. He had all of the paperwork to switch his life insurance to make me beneficiary but had not filed it at work yet, so, I got nothing. All because in the laws eyes I was not entitled to anything since we weren’t married. I say if you stay with someone and are building a life together and especially if you live together, talk to them about what they would want if something happened to them. I believe it should be something both parties have set up, just in case!!!
I had a friend whose fiance died the night before they married and the same thing happened to her. It was horrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's beyond heartbreaking. Hugs to you.
@@samsmom400thank you! It was a horrible time but i learned how strong i really was and I persevered! You don’t expect things like this to happen but they do and they will, better to be prepared and discuss what would happen and have it legally binding!!
@@kristinelockwood2431so true! Those are things we tend to not think about and only concentrate on the relationship and how we don’t need the piece of paper. That legally binding comes with a lot of other things than just your commitment.
Danna, I love you! You're like the best friend, cool little sister, fun loving and life loving person to me! I'm certain those kids love spending time with you and their dad! You both are goofballs in the very best sense. Glad you share a slice of your life with us!
Just hearing you talk about wanting the kids to feel special and how you want to get to know them better makes me think your heart is open. After a little bit of adjusting to this, the kids will really appreciate that you are in their lives in whatever way society wants to label it. Have fun and enjoy!!!
@@DearLeah-z7tit’s kind of weird you’re like her keyboard warrior commenting rude things to anyone with an opinion you don’t like. How bout keep scrolling lol. I don’t agree with rude comments or the trolls that make very cruel statements to creators but these people are sharing their opinion. She ASKS repeatedly over & over in every video for engagement & asks for viewers feedback & what they want to see/hear because she wants to grow her channel & it’s been a goal for years since her van life to reach a million followers. Creators being able to use positive/negative feedback to better their videos & keep your audience interested are the ones who grow with longevity and make money. Sometimes these comments help creators to fix things they can’t see or make better videos. I don’t think you commenting on every person with a different opinion than you is gonna get her to a million subscribers but carry on keyboard warrior.
@@DearLeah-z7t Dear Leah, I really appreciate you trying to have my back. I've got it handled. Please share your own thoughts and opinions, but you don't have to speak for me. Thanks, love 💖 I know you're trying to help!
She has developed a routine, and that is healthy for her. This is how most people live their lives. When she was on the road it was more exciting. But she has settled down. That's why it seems boring or repetitive to watch.
@@lke4907 is kind of the nature of doing daily Vlogs and doing these 12 week challenges where we complete goals together. The goal isn’t necessarily to make an exciting video, it’s to inspire each other to stick to our goals.
I think it is so sweet you are thinking how to be a good step mom. I had a step parent. It was hard, but talking with my half siblings, they had some of the same hard, which is mind boggling. 🤷♀️ I also had my half siblings when I was older and loved taking care of them too. I think the hard part was feeling misunderstood and not appreciating who I was. I was pushed into replicated careers to my parents which I didn't feel called to. However, my step dad has cancer now. He lives for his only grandchildren, my children, and he tries, he really does.
I think it was also hard pretending my dad never existed, trying to replace him in a way? I guess that is more for a dead parent though. That was hard. You can't really replace them or make them disappear. I wish there was a way to have been more open about my original dad, but I know that it is hard to be a step parent. I acknowledge it is hard and honor you just trying and having interest in being a good step parent.
I just bought your Christmas Squish and the 28 Glow up. I’m so excited! Thank you for them ❤. I’ve been living the “blended bliss” cough cough 😂 for 35 years as with everything there are good and not the best of times but As you know nothing is perfect but I have say just listening to your feelings and watching you now for awhile I knowing you will make the the best decision for YOU. Just please don’t settle! Andy seems amazing but as you say we only see about 1%
@@larissaromonouski4870 yay! I’m so happy you’re liking it. My legs are so sore from yesterday’s workout lol. I almost forget how out of shape I am lol thanks for the love. 💖🥰💖
Dana, there are some great books on the subject of Stepmoms. Maybe that would give you some thoughts, or help you out. I guess I would say, go slow, work on a special relationship with each child, and make sure they understand, and feel, that you're not trying to be their mom, (that can be very threatening to some kids). Let them feel that you are trying to make a caring relationship for everyone. At this stage, I think I would refer any big decisions or tough situations back to Andy. You love kids, it's not rocket science, just be good to them and they will come around! Good luck, you got this!!
You have it right. Everything you said sounded like you're on right track. I saw myself as a support person for the kids and the parents. Just be yourself as you already do. Any mistakes I've made along the way I always owned them. I know they loved seeing I'm not perfect and that I'll apologize (their mom is high conflict and has a list of mental health disorders and never apologized..I know she struggles). First year was Honeymoon... over the years there has been bumps in road in occasions. But it's been all worth it. Mom was not supportive and made life very challenging for all. But we've handled it best we could.. I never talked bad about mom ever to them.. I always told them I love your mom (because I love them and she's their mom so I do love her). I'm just happy you're in a situation that isn't high conflict. So probably won't have as many bumps in road. Best of luck to all of you. I know you'll do well as you have lots of love to give ❤ It's all worth it and I'm very blessed. They call me S'mom because they thought stepmom sounds bad lol so I love they came up with S'mom. The one now calls me Mom now that she's an adult.
So awesome that you never put the kids mom down. I think this is very important in blended relationships especially. My mom was bipolar and could go off on anyone at anytime but neither my stepmom or stepsister ever said anything bad about her.
@@kristinelockwood2431 Thank you. I always had support through friends or if something more personal and didn't want to spread her business I would join stepmom support groups online where you can post anonymous and support one another. At least for the 2nd year (1st year was Honeymoon). Been their stepmom now for 10 years and they are young adults. The mom made my life hell but still I refused to ever let any of the girls hear me talk negative. I still have soft spot for the mom... without her I wouldn't have the girls. And I know mental illness is hard for many.
My Mother passed away when I was 11 and got a wicked stepmother at 13. Why marry a man who had four children ages 12-15 when you didn’t want children? She made our lives miserable. Imagine Cinderella! I admire you so much for caring for and wanting a relationship with Andy’s children. Just the fact you are taking time to go on a date with them to get to know them more is wonderful! You are a Bonus in their lives and hopefully they will be a Bonus in yours. Enjoy!
I’d say don’t be overbearing. I’m 38 , They are 17 and 20 I’ve been with their dad since Zeke was 6! Now he’s 20 ❤ It’s been a great and unexpected experience for me :)
I know we only see 1% of your life, but just a couple videos ago you question/mention staying or going. So bonus mom or step mom, married or not seems a bit premature. Why not just be Danna. Does it need a label? I agree, it does not. But it seems like you are jumping in with both feet, while other times, even days later, it seems like just the big toe. I would think consistency for the children would be heatlhy rather than having to form a relationship with all of dad's girlfirends.
I will put my heart into that role as long as I'm dating their dad and living here. It is by nature the role I am in for them at this time and tho the future is uncertain, my heart for them and wanting to be a positive person and ally in their lives is not. I have been nothing but consistent with them ;) Just sharing more online as I love hearing other peoples experiences.
Because being in a relationship contains being in their children's lives how that goes and what part you okay in takes time and between them..let them work it out..I'm a mom to two beautiful now adult kids and technically step mom but we are more like friends but also they are adult kids now..if she can and wishes to do what she is doing then so be it it's the only way to form a relationship and doesn't realy need a title to it..
What a nice idea to take the kids out to pick out something special. You’re doing a great job. I’m sure your experience in this will make it successful. ❤
I love the way Danna is living into her future by taking on the role of stepmom and wife in the PRESENT. After all, life is only in the NOW. And Danna is naming herself for who she is right now. Labelling ourselves gives us a grounded point from where to grow from.
Danna your instincts are correct and from the heart and that is all you need to do. I always so it is never wrong to have more people love your children.
Advice as requested: to be certain about their dad as a few videos it didn't seem you were all in, e.g should I stay or go. What if one of the kids sees that? Also noticed there is SOOOO much repetition in your vids..you make a point, then you make it again, then you'll say it 5 more times. I'm a little surprised you edit your videos to repeat the same points over and over. Little bit dull at times, but I know we out here making a living. All the very best ❤️
@@DearLeah-z7t you seem the antagonist type. I don't believe sycophancy helps Danna or her channel grow. Having an opinion which doesn't fall into the 'fan-girl' category can actually help people grow and reflect, even though our ego gets a knock. I hope you feel better too ❤️
I totally agree that if you are in a relationship especially if you are living together it absolutely is the same difference. People get so hung up on the MARRIED word. I tell everyone they have to do it at least once (marriage that is) mine lasted 5 years ish. My father said he was concerned with my relationship with Dan (DANCY was our nickname) saying that if we were married for 10 years which we had already been together 6 years I could get 1/2 of his social security. ( he was married before for 30 years) but Danna as I always say do what's best for you! Dan and I did not want to get remarried since we had both been there before! He passed away 2.5 years ago. We had several great years together and the one of his kids never wanted to meet me which I am fine with. He had a son that I saw a few times but did not spend any time with him. He had one adopted daughter that he raised as his own. She finally wanted to meet me so I had dinner with her and her twins once. They lived in CA and met us while we were down at his FL condo for a long weekend. Not sure why we never met again. I think you two are old enough and have been in enough relationships to know what's best for the two of you.
@@montanadanna awwww....you are welcome. You looked extra pretty today. Your happiness is shining through.....you will make a great role model for any child you come into contact with! I see your organizational skills is rubbing off on Skyler. He did a closet purge which you are aware of since you edit his videos and I thought of you! You also enjoy your alone time while Andy is away. TEAM DANDY here! Nancy from OHIO
I wasn't married with my mow husband of 2 years but together for now 17..never took the role of step mom.but didmt treat them anymore different then my own..when they were teenagers ..
@@lesliemartin670 I think that’s what I would do whether I’m married to him or not. Not trying to take the place of their parent, and just wanted to be a supportive, loving person in their life.
Loved seeing my name on the screen :) I cannot imagine the hurdle of the mix of religion, I didn’t even think about that. I knew you were open to it but idk why I didn’t think about the possible kids in the mix 🫣🤷🏼♀️👀 & girl not the Supreme Court, you need to give us that tea (if you’re comfortable). If not it’s fine I get it! I’m still finding out info at 32 that my mom lied about my whole life. Including who my bio father is 🤦🏼♀️🫣 YIKES! The only dad I’m calling dad, is the man that raised me & mans last name that I got 🤷🏼♀️😂
@@montanadannaWow!! You probably shouldn’t be looking towards marriage, because marriage is difficult enough and if you don’t consider it, Holy then good luck with that…
@@virginiaburman7076 People have different belief systems, and viewpoints. Just because they don't precisely line up with your feelings on the subject doesn't mean theirs are invalid, or lesser than yours.
@@virginiaburman7076 I was just stating that for a lot of of people, marriage is God centered. For a whole lot of other people, it has nothing to do with religion or God. There are a lot of people who do not believe in the Bible, who are married. That’s what I’m saying, just because it’s how you feel doesn’t mean it’s true for everyone.
I think im fortunate that my ex partners werent in the picture when i married my husband but i did speak with them as a courtesy but as they werent seeing the kids they didnt feel they had much to input my only thing i said to my husband is if they need to be told off for any reason that it was left to me as i knew how best to deal with each child in that way (2 are special needs ) where he didnt but now after 26 years my kids are in their 30s they all have a really close relationship and feel they can go to him for anything and actually often prefer to ask him stuff as they get a different perspective to mine
Danna, I think you're great with kids. Skylar's kids seem to really like you and enjoy your company. Wasn't it Lincoln who wanted you to crochet a blanket for Millie the kitty? So cute...
How about Winddona,lol, thanks for stepping back inside it was pretty loud😉. Divorce, almost everyone experiences it at some point, definitely don’t believe that the divorce rate is only 50%, my mom has a race going on with Elizabeth Taylor except my mom didn’t pick rich men, just a propensity towards alcoholism 🤪. Danna, I agree if you are in a live in relationship, you are a stepparent that happens to use your name Danna, as a kid we didn’t really think about it unless asked. Really respect your frankness, and honesty about marriage vs. partnership, I’ve seen too many fall apart when they got married. If I were a kiddo, I would love you in my life, you bring so many gifts, how can they lose. Thanks for the update Danna, hope you are off to a Great Week!🧶💕✨👍
I 100% want kids, I would like to be married, but it is not my main priority. Healthy relationships are. I think a lot of people get married and have babies cause they feel like that’s what they’re supposed to do, then end up in a loveless relationship. I’m not interested in that and I’m willing to wait to have kids with someone who I’m truly compatible with. Marriage isn’t the goal, healthy relationship relationships are. If it leads to marriage, then amazing.
I think you are doing great by the kiddos…be real ….don’t make promises you can’t keep ….as far as labeling …I would not get hung up on labels …married or not. You’re Danna dating their dad . Yes you have a role in their life albeit peripheral. They have an involved mother and father it seems. Everyone in the equation based on what you say is acting like mature adults. It’s not divorce that mess the kids up ..kids are resilient…it’s the adults around them that do that . I will add though while you are on fence about their dad that you are in fact playing house with him and in their home when he has them so if you still on the fence about him they may be getting attached to you which will suck should you bolt. I guess that’s true in any situation. I realize you may be doing this for channel’s engagement but what you put on the internet last forever so be mindful including them in vlogs for views if you not committed to the relationship…sitting on the fence is not commitment nor is it all in . Hard to tell what’s real or not with influencers . Seems you know what to do already with kids. Please be real and understand at any point they can google you and see your videos with or without anyone’s permission talking about their dad and your issues with him. Figure out what you doing their dad before trying to figure out your role in their lives.
Totally agree. Labels don't matter ... relationships do. 💖💖 I love hearing peoples stories and experiences. If you have any resources/books/podcasts on the subject, I'd love to know. Since you're asking ... I typically don't plan out videos. I was doing my one-on-one date with the kids on this day, so the subject was on my mind. In fact, this subject has been on my mind since July/August, just my first time sharing it publicly. I am still committed to the relationship as long as we are together, but it certainly has question marks now. Everything is very real. I wish reality were black and white, but it IS very confusing sometimes. So just sharing my present reality. 2 things can be true at once. I BOTH have question marks around the relationship AND love Andy and his kids very much. I BOTH have a dealbreaker around having kids AND want to keep nourishing my relationships with Andy and his kids while we figure this out. I wish it were black and white, then these decisions would be a whole lot easier.
What drama channel this is turning out to be . Girl you don’t need any advice …you’re doing this for the views and engagements. You been around kids and helped raised your siblings you said . Good Lord I would hate to date someone and have them post our business online like this for strangers to dissect . This particular vlog got highschool real fast. .You do you girl and ya’ll will either work it or you won’t .
Okay, I am saying this in the most loving way I know how... (I left a comment already but feel the need to ask you this question)... reflect on all of your past relationships and current one... and ponder this... "Why am I taking care and worried about other people's children and not working on having my own children which is a deep desire of mine (this does not mean I have to stop taking care/loving other people's children, this means I am not going to sacrifice myself for everyone else)? What steps can I take to stay true to myself and not give up my dreams of becoming a mother? Are there still possibilities and ways that I can become a mother? What are the steps I need to take to see these possibilities come to life?"
@@LindaEstep24 do not even worry. I am asking all the questions and doing what I need to do in the meantime. I appreciate the care you put into your comments. Putting effort into showing Kids love and sweetness is never a lost cause in my opinion. The rest of the stuff, fertility… Surgery… Relationship… It’s a bit of an escape room right now. Of course I’m asking these questions. Of course. The situation is what it is and we’re doing our best and keeping an open line of communication. Had a bit of a standstill until surgery is over at the moment. In the meantime, I’m gonna love on the people I live with as I love them very much 💖💖
A1 comment! YES. it's insane to me she would be willing to care for other people's children for years, decades, without any assurances that marriage provides. that is A LOT of emotional, physical, spiritual labor. it's a gift to be a stepparent but let's also not pretend it's not a lot of work too. and i don't mean just financial benefit of marriage, there are major protections that marriage provides (that domestic partnership does not, these are 2 different things). You can take care of someone else's kids like they're your own for a decade, never get married bc 'it's just a piece of paper', the rship ends, and you're 50s, childless (when your dream was a child of your own) with nothing to show for it. Also if you're reading this Danna, there are A LOT of men who want to have children and soon. Esp ones who haven't had kids yet and want them and also feel behind. Think 45-55. And to counter some some trolls from your videos about this, no, they aren't only looking for women under 35. I would certainly not stay in Utah though if you do end up leaving for a better suited partner.
It feels like she is at a point to settle with what she has or possibly due to finances, is staying. The moving in together was rushed and came about due to finances, not as a natural next step in the relationship. As a parent, Andy really should have held off until knowing each other longer bc he has 3 minor children splitting time in the house. Yes, you can develop feelings quickly, but a person's character is something you learn over time. Sometimes time cant be rushed. Im sure Danna has learned a great deal about Andy since they first met and at this point, he has backtracked several times. Looking back at the love bombed video, that's how it started. Only Danna can know what the best choice is for her, but just bc its with Andy now doesn't mean its a guarantee.
I bet you're a fab stepmum, funny, adapt and very daft, that's a compliment up here in Scotland 😂 looking forward to quiet later in the house so I can watch this video x
I lived with a lady who had a severely autistic son,a druggie son and a spoiled brat son.I had a normal well mannered son and daughter so that mix made for some interesting lifes experiences She expected me to take her autistic son into my construction business but he turned out to be the laziest item on two legs.The druggie would continually steal my expensive power tools to sell to buy drugs.What could I do,I was living with his mother so bringing the police into the mix was a no go.The spoiled brat?well he was the creation of his lazy mother.After 5 years we split,the best thing for me.Our love died after the first 6 months.Kids,other peoples kids in a relationship destroy that relationship big time
What I think, Andy is telling you being a stepmom will be as fulfilling as having a biological child. I think you are struggling with this as your eyes seem sad. You have to determine is he worth compromising what you have always yearned for.
Noo ... no it's not. Potentially being a stepmom is wonderful and beautiful, but will never be as fulfilling as having my own child and raising them from birth. It is not and never has been something I'm willing to compromise on and it's been a dealbreaker from the very beginning.
That’s very sweet of you, I still like hearing other perspectives and getting ideas. I grew up with kind of a negative view of a step parent and it’s just so heartwarming to hear about the good connections people have. 💖💖💖
Love your dates with the kids. Couldn’t agree more that a piece of paper should have no bearing on the way you love and respect your partner and the kids. If someone isn’t doing that while dating, being married isn’t going to change that. Also having a respectful relationship with their other parent is commendable and I love that you have that. There is no reason the kids should be put in the middle. I think if the kids always know that you are there for them and that you and the other parents all are on the same page with rules and so forth is best too so they don’t get mixed messages from one parent over the other and have that cause issues between the parents too. Have a great week!!
Feel you on the marriage thing - it was important when I was 19-21.... luckily it didn't happen (just because I had a baby) but now --- I've been in a relationship for 20 years!!! He was/has been the best "father" ever to my son since 3 yrs of age and I just got engaged 1 year ago :) I'd love to get married by September but --- like you, we aren't going anywhere - its the same as being married just not legal 😂❤🎉😂
Just worried that you seem to be driving with out holding the wheel.! One hand holding camera the other gesticulating ?? On another note, My now husband and I were together 25 years before we got married and only did that because he had a v serious operation and he wanted me to be secure if he popped his clogs. We would have done if I had managed to get pregnant but I didn’t - had a miscarriage - so we didn’t. You are SO right- the quality of the relationship is what matters not the label or the paperwork - unless you are religious which we’re not. Xxx
Ooh, the religion stuff must be hard. There has to be lots of animosity from one side a d if they have time to snoop on your videos they will judge, and talk about it and that will be a major deal because it will never end until they stop judgement and yakking. Kids will then be reluctant to be approving as well. That is a mile on hurdles. Eventually, everyone will fall in love with you but I can only imagine that would take maturity and time. Teens can be cruel. The one person I dated with teens was really hard. The girl tweeted, while we were sitting down to a treat at a restaurant that I paid for, a very mean thing on Twitter. Basically, I still remember it. To her dad she said, I must really love you because I am putting up with this. This was a meal. I don't have money to feed others but I was paying for it as it was his birthday.
You don’t need a piece of paper to say you’re in love 10:29 🤦🏼♀️😂 Lort have mercy them Facebook Karen’s. They’re so cut & dry RIGHT/WRONG. You’re a live in very much step parent 😆
I think its beautiful that you are going into this with intention and being thoughtful of your impact and thinking about the long term relationship you have with not only Andy but also his kids (its a package deal after all!). I get you, girl. What I hear you saying is that you take that role and relationship very seriously and want to be thoughtful.... You are correct your dynamic is that of the step parent/bonus parent. You are living in their space and functioning as that role. Wanting to do that well isn't rushing anything... It will set you all up for success long term.... it's beautiful.
I feel the exact same about labels of spouse, etc. Those are our societies current labels. Legal stuff that I sometimes have to work with would use paramour. My proof of my beliefs of those labels is The Woman at the Well, where Mr Jesus himself said to her, you have had this many husbands in life. She is shocked. I get her confused with the men who wanted to stone a girl and he drew stuff in writing in the sand, calling the dudes out because they all put down there stones and left. For me, sleeping with someone is becoming one and that is a marriage.
I admire you Danna. Such a hard worker! So many talents! You have so much to offer in your relationship. I wish you the best in any hard future decisions.
Hello Friends. Thank you so much for adding to the conversation. Here are some links to the workout program and beanie discounts: Hope you have a beautiful week 💖💖💖
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I don't know how you do everything you do! Editing, making videos, being present in your life and your crochet business! You are amazing!
I ws thinking the same! Idk how she juggles so many hats! I'm impressed w her time management skills!
@@shellyblack392 I have no idea ! What a legend !
@@shellyblack392 the fact you edit and even do Skyler’s ! Wowza :)
I dated/lived with a man with children for 12 years. I generally don’t do regret but if i could do it over, i would never make that choice again. Thankfully I never married him. I had that much sense. They are not your children and never will be, but you must put them before everything. And to be a decent person in this situation, it really does require you to put aside a lot of your own priorities to support them. This adds a huge amount of stress to the relationship and while you’re in honeymoon phase it’s all well and good. It gets old. More than that, parents are on a completely different life journey than someone without children. The journey they are on comes with a lot of joy but it also comes with a lot of limitations and downside. As a step parent you get none of the joy and all of the limitations and downside. Just my opinion based on my own experience but there you have it.
I hate the term “step”. You’re a bonus to their lives! Bonus mom! My parents are divorced and my mom’s husband is my bonus dad! He’s such a gift! As you are to them! ❤
I think bonus mom or dad sounds better indeed . Or bonus kids
Be yourself! They’ll love you!❤
Bonus mom is a better word than step! 💞
I like that ... very sweet! 💖💖
My step kids mom got me a mug that said
Best effing bonus mom !
I love it :) ❤
@ haha so cute!!!
Being a stepparent is a wonderful blessing. When my stepdad married my mom, he let us choose what to call him, i call him dad. You are in a relationship with someone who has children, it doesn’t matter that you’re not married. When his children are with you, you’re providing a loving environment. So with that being said, you are a bonus mom.
Aww, that's sweet he let you choose what to call him! thank you for sharing your story 💖
I don't know if I told you about my step-mother. She wasn't a nice person and I lived with fear while I lived with her or any time i was around her. So when I became a step mom, I knew what NOT to do. I left the disciplining to Dad and I was just friend and support. We always had/have a great relationship! it's so great that you are taking the time one-on-one to get to know them. I'm sure they will love you if they don't already!
You did tell me a little about her. That's so sad, I just don't understand it. Sometimes our greatest examples are those on how not to be. Very sad. Great idea to be a good supportive friend. You're a natural at that 😉 love ya! 💖
Hey Danna! I’m going to come from the POV of an angsty kid/teenager because that was me. 😂 I would be so irritated if you were trying to be a “step/bonus mom” to an adult it’s just a title but to a kid it means so much more. You’re “my dad’s girlfriend”. So I would just relax, get to know them, and have fun! That’s how my stepmom was and our relationship is great because she never tried to be that title even though she was that title. She was just my fun “aunt” is how I always thought of her. As an adult I totally see your side but I would just take a step back and let the “stepmom” come naturally. It’ll take time. I would especially not call myself that if I was waiting for Andy to decide if he wants more kids since that is a deal breaker for you. So for now just have fun with them! Get to know them, truly listen to them and don’t push anything. Also I can bet they’re watching these so I’d be a little careful about your titles. You may think they aren’t but if my dads gf did TH-cam I would 10000% be looking them up some way or another haha this is just MY opinion/thoughts it’s totally fine of you don’t agree!
This is such great advice!
Yes! Love that ... just being a loving supportive person in their lives and letting them take the lead with the progression of the relationship 💯💖
Danna your heart is in the right place when it comes to the kids. They will grow to love you. Thank you for the video.
@@marcyfalconer1275 Thanks for the sweet comment 💖✨✨
The kickass stepmom podcast is a great resource. I think society can put a lot of pressure on stepmoms in ways we may not have even thought of, and this podcast helped me to feel seen and heard. So while I also have a great co-parenting relationship with the ex, the podcast helped me to feel validated in some of the feelings and experiences I was going through. Hope this helps!
@@katiel5474 yay, thank you so much for the resources. I’ll check it out. 💖💖
I would like to see a chair workout for seniors from you!
Thank you for the suggestion! 😊
Yes, that would be so awesome. I walk,lightly jog,work out but also have added a chair workout to the mix. it's okay but the instructor is a little boring but you would make it great fun!
for sure!
Meeee tooo! I was afraid to ask that question. Thank you for doing that!
Okay so yesterday I started your 12 week summer squeeze workout program and Idk what you're doing to me but ohhhhh my starrrs girl you're killin me and it was only day 1. By the time I hit these 12 weeks I'll be looking fantastic, I feel it today haha. Such a fantastic workout... EVERYONE GO DO HER WORKOUTS!!!! NO MORE EXCUSES... Thank you for being my inspiration to look and feel my best ❤
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Thanks!
@@lauriecailteux9451 Aww, thank you SO much for the donation 🥰💖 that was so sweet of you! Hope you have a great week ✨✨
I love that you are taking each kid on a shopping date. I think that is the best gift!
also, i totally understand what you mean by step-parent and how it's the same to you regardless. for many kids, it may be different because marriage tells them you are not going anywhere. especially if they are raised religiously- they may not have the sense of stability without you and andy being married.
this is a REALLY good point. have to look at it from their perspective (the kids).
@@tdonnell99 I don’t speak for the kids, only they can do that. I speak only from my experience/perspective. 😊 Obviously they each have their own individual experiences. I considered my stepmom a stepmom when she moved in. They didn’t marry for several years after. But another person May have a different experience. The one thing I know and can speak to is my own experience, so that’s what I’m comfortable talking about.
@@montanadanna yes, that was not a criticism of you at all, so i hope you didn't take it that way. i'm just sharing what i thought was possible based on my experience. either way, they are lucky to have you. i bet you are the most fun stepparent, official or not!
I love that you did the dates with the kids. I bet that made them each feel special and they also have a connection with each other that they each went on a date with you so that’s pretty cool. when you said kids just live in the moment, that’s just so true. I wrote down what I call a piece of wisdom from my niece. She’s now 15, but when she was 9 1/2, I was doing an activity with her one on one and she said; “I always can’t wait for the tomorrow” direct quote, not correct punctuation. ❤
That's beautiful ❤
Are you a step parent or a girlfriend? Recognize the difference.
@@glee105 I am someone who not only lives with them, but loves them and wants them to succeed, feel loved feel seen and feel at peace around. The point I’m making is I don’t care so much what the title is. The relationship is what I’m focused on and concerned about. Every step parent is a girlfriend/boyfriend before they are officially married. I will treat them no different if/when that label changes. Obviously those relationships take time to grow and I’m letting the children lead with the pace that is progressing. Things are certainly not always black-and-white although we might want them to be, and that’s OK. You can call it what you want. ✨✨
@@montanadanna I think you know what you need to do without all of our opinions. 😉💐. But it’s nice you listen to us all. Just don’t let us confuse you and enjoy each day as it comes. 💗. One day at a time.
@ I like hearing perspectives for sure, and then see how they resonate with me. One day at a time, great advice. Thanks Carolyn 💗
I think from our side as viewers and supporters it gets confusing. Just three videos ago your video was titled something like "should I stay or go" You talked about becoming roommates. Now the conversation is about the dynamic of being a step-parent. I don't know but I assume some titles are for clicks but girl... Its confusing on where you stand. I think thats where the comments come to not call yourself a "step-parent" until marriage. When you would be actually parenting them and in their life long term. I support you no matter what but you go so strongly from leaving to step- parent.
@@renealynnmn I am genuinely going through a very confusing time right now. Just sharing my authentic experience and life is often confusing. So yes, confusion is the appropriate response. ☺️🥰 I’m trying to manage the confusion with loving hard on my man and his kids while we sort out whether we are compatible long-term or not. I appreciate the support and just trying hard to nurture myself and those around me even through difficult and confusing times 💖💖💖
💯💯💯 perfectly said. It is extremely odd as viewers and long time supporters, but very concerning for the stability with kids involved.
@@gem28_ well it certainly is an odd situation. I moved in with the expectation that we would have a kid together Some day. That is a dealbreaker for me, and now that it is in question, it’s created a very uncertain situation for sure. Certainly questioning the relationship. But doesn’t stop me from loving everyone involved and wanting make the best of the situation.
@@montanadannathat’s understandable, as a step parent for 7 years myself I just wouldn’t try to even attempt to step into that role or aspects of the role until the relationship isn’t in question, but I get your position & having those dealbreakers. I would be hurt too if he changed his mind after I moved in or wasn’t sure. I can imagine the pressure or stress he may feel having to already support 3 kids but he may just need to feel safe in the relationship too & could want a family with you if he sees a future. Just keeping things as healthy for the kids as possible, I’d stay loving, friendly & “Dad’s girlfriend” to them until there’s no more uncertainty. Not judging, I know since conversations have changed you’re now feeling less secure of the future with him & I know that must be difficult just seemed like such a huge leap to go from pondering moving out to step mom conversation titles but I pray you guys work thru it, you seem happy & I’m glad Andy seems like a stable & supportive partner for you. There will never be a perfect person or situation but you guys seem pretty great & happy. ❤
For the sake of the kids feelings, I would not get them during the moms custody to spend private time bonding if the relationship is not solid. It sounds nice, but they could get attached and a main reason they are in your life is the status with Andy. I had bonded with a girlfriend of my dad's, but after they broke up, that ended and I never got closure. It's harder on the child, so we need to be sensitive navigating new relationships.
If the mother is fully involved with the kids. Meaning she parents her kids. You than don’t need to parent in any way. You can just be a friend. The parenting should fall under Andy and the mother
Totally agree 💖💖💖
Seems you repeat a lot. I’m not sure if it’s editing or just picking up after a recording break or what. But it does go on a bit and gets boring.
Then go elsewhere. Whining is unnecessary at your age. You're not obligated to watch.
@@happyrose6168 thank you for the feedback. Yes, editing daily videos is certainly exhausting. I only do one run through and then just upload it. When I do weekly uploads, I watch through the video a few times and cut stuff out. I appreciate you letting me know how it’s coming across. ✨✨
I had my son when I was 17. His dad became involved when he was 5. His dad had a girlfriend who he married and had more children with. We were all friends. We would go on family ski trips together and stay in the smae vacation rental. My son is all grown up now, so I don't see his dad & step-mom much, but last year when he got his PhD at U-Penn we all went and hung out together and had a great time. I am also close with his Dad's parents and siblings, and my parents are close with them too. It feels like we are all family, and I love that my son has never had to choose between us. We can all be together.
@LilyBecca that is a beautiful story. I wish more people could do that. Your son must feel so loved by many people.
I don’t have a ton of advice - I’m newly separated with kids and only recently started dating but the idea of having anyone super involved still terrifies me! I will say, the guy I’m seeing is definitely someone I can picture being around my kids and involved at some point but luckily he’s really patient with that and how I feel!
I will say, these kids are extremely lucky to have you in their life! And I love that you did the one on one dates
I didn’t get a step mom until I was 25. My parents fought a lot, it doesn’t matter how old you are, it hurts when your parents fight because of divorce.my parents just hated each other for years. They both have personality disorders. But after about 10 years they were better together and we could all get together for Christmas, it was nice. I did not have a relationship with my mom until about two years before she died. Life just sucks sometimes.❤❤❤
That sounds so painful! 🤗💖 I'm sorry you had that experience with your parents. Happy you could all get together for Christmas tho. I don't have a relationship with my mom and can relate a lot. Hope you're taking care of your heart 💖
Certainly understand your position at this point regarding marriage. At some point in the future I think you’ll see that it is more than a ‘label’. Lots of legal, medical, etc., things are much smoother if you’re a spouse. From financial beneficiary to medical decision making, having the legal right to those things is pretty important. Can you tell my husband was a Trust Officer? 😆 Enjoy your relationship in the present and hopefully things will move at their own pace.
@@jimtiedje3868 i’m not opposed to getting married, if I had a child with someone I’d probably want to get married, I’m just saying it’s not something I dream about or is a bucket list item like it is for most people. Hopefully it will evolve into that type of relationship eventually. I’m in no hurry though.
All the points you make a valid and i agree with them. You have objective and healthy view towards the kids. If you bring light energy into their lives, the rest will be ok. Good luck🎉🎉🎉
Thanks for the sweetness 💖
Sometimes you can wish people would listen to themselves over and over to answer their own questions. What i hear is you don’t have a “great relationship”,”should you stay or go”,due to you wanting a child,”how do you be a step mom”? How about being the person who is spending time with a guy and his kids. Cause as we all see,you could bolt any minute and break those involved hearts!
Coleen, tell us you don't pay attention without actually telling us you don't pay attention. 🤦🏼♀️
If you do not marry you are not eligible for his pension when he passes away nor are you eligible for pulling off his social security which both could be thousands of dollars when you are older. It also prevents you from being added to his health insurance.
There are other ways of going about that. Domestic partnership, etc., I’m just saying that marriage is not my goal, a healthy relationship is. If a marriage feels like the right next step, I am all for it. 💖💖
@ matbe with health care … social security you must be married 10 yrs to collect off him and pensions you must be married as well.
@@anyjohnson5048Oh that’s good to know! Thank you
I think it depends on the state.@@montanadanna
@@montanadannadomestic partnership only goes so far. The federal government doesn’t recognize it, you can’t legally claim each other as family, etc etc etc
You are a kind thoughtful loving human … just share YOU. Respect then love should come naturally !
Men treat girlfriends and wives totally different. Girlfriends are the fun superficial love and distraction from responsibilities, and wives are the deeper long lasting love with intense responsibilities. Most men do not want to remarry after they have been divorced - especially if they are still (secretly/deeply) in love with their ex-wives. It's hard to be a second wife after the first. You almost can't compete. I am generalizing, but generally this is how men think/feel/operate. Even if they don't admit it! Just be careful! You don't want to end up feeling used after years of good service to a man who will never love you or give you the commitment you want. It seems like you are compromising. And when a woman compromises, she will never be truly happy. When a man proposes marriage and the woman accepts - it is his public declaration of love and devotion and ultimate commitment. Men don't take marriage nearly as lightly as women. When a man doesn't want to get married, that means he doesn't see you as the one and he doesn't plan on ever committing or giving you that sacrificial love. That's how men view marriage/commitment (it does not matter how you view marriage, it matters how the man views marriage because he is the one that will be laying down his life for his wife and family). *Btw, I'm more worried about you, than the kids. I think the kids are totally fine at this point and whatever effort you make with them is probably 100x's more than the average woman would make. I'm sure you are a bright light to their worlds and of course to Andy's. I'm just saying... ADVOCATE (*advocate meaning get everything you can possibly get and do not sacrifice) FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR NEEDS, WANTS, DESIRES!!! Don't settle for less than you want!!! Men are very, very, intelligent (much more than we give them credit for) and they say right upfront what they want. And if you think you can change a man's mind then you will regret it later. And if you compromise and give up your dreams to cater to what a man wants... honey... you will end up broken hearted every single time. That's allll I'm sayin'
this is all SO TRUE. i always roll my eyes when i hear a woman say, "it's just a piece of paper!" 1. bc it's NOT at all just that to a man, esp a religious one and 2. they are MANY serious advantageous reasons to be legally married that are not avail under domestic partnership. related to death, children, pensions, taxes, illness, family leave, disability, SS, etc.
While I agree that it doesn’t require a marriage certificate to be in a committed relationship I can tell you from experience that it made a huge difference when tragedy hit! Years ago I lived with my fiance and 4 months before we were to get married he passed away unexpectedly. Never in a million years did I think his mother and sibling would swoop in and clean out OUR apartment without my consent, do all funeral arrangements without me present, take any of his possessions they liked and left me high and dry. He had all of the paperwork to switch his life insurance to make me beneficiary but had not filed it at work yet, so, I got nothing. All because in the laws eyes I was not entitled to anything since we weren’t married. I say if you stay with someone and are building a life together and especially if you live together, talk to them about what they would want if something happened to them. I believe it should be something both parties have set up, just in case!!!
Yes, this is so true. The legal aspect is also very important when you start acquiring assets together such as a house, car etc.
I had a friend whose fiance died the night before they married and the same thing happened to her. It was horrible. I'm so sorry that happened to you. That's beyond heartbreaking. Hugs to you.
@@samsmom400thank you! It was a horrible time but i learned how strong i really was and I persevered! You don’t expect things like this to happen but they do and they will, better to be prepared and discuss what would happen and have it legally binding!!
@@kristinelockwood2431so true! Those are things we tend to not think about and only concentrate on the relationship and how we don’t need the piece of paper. That legally binding comes with a lot of other things than just your commitment.
Danna, I love you! You're like the best friend, cool little sister, fun loving and life loving person to me! I'm certain those kids love spending time with you and their dad! You both are goofballs in the very best sense. Glad you share a slice of your life with us!
Just hearing you talk about wanting the kids to feel special and how you want to get to know them better makes me think your heart is open. After a little bit of adjusting to this, the kids will really appreciate that you are in their lives in whatever way society wants to label it. Have fun and enjoy!!!
Slow down!!
Slow down what??
@DearLeah-z7t DeahPeah not talking to you !! Mind you business
Your channel is starting to feel like a rerun, watching the same thing over and over. Come on get out of this .
@@DearLeah-z7tit’s kind of weird you’re like her keyboard warrior commenting rude things to anyone with an opinion you don’t like. How bout keep scrolling lol. I don’t agree with rude comments or the trolls that make very cruel statements to creators but these people are sharing their opinion. She ASKS repeatedly over & over in every video for engagement & asks for viewers feedback & what they want to see/hear because she wants to grow her channel & it’s been a goal for years since her van life to reach a million followers. Creators being able to use positive/negative feedback to better their videos & keep your audience interested are the ones who grow with longevity and make money. Sometimes these comments help creators to fix things they can’t see or make better videos. I don’t think you commenting on every person with a different opinion than you is gonna get her to a million subscribers but carry on keyboard warrior.
@@DearLeah-z7t Dear Leah, I really appreciate you trying to have my back. I've got it handled. Please share your own thoughts and opinions, but you don't have to speak for me. Thanks, love 💖 I know you're trying to help!
She has developed a routine, and that is healthy for her. This is how most people live their lives. When she was on the road it was more exciting. But she has settled down. That's why it seems boring or repetitive to watch.
@@lke4907 is kind of the nature of doing daily Vlogs and doing these 12 week challenges where we complete goals together. The goal isn’t necessarily to make an exciting video, it’s to inspire each other to stick to our goals.
I think it is so sweet you are thinking how to be a good step mom. I had a step parent. It was hard, but talking with my half siblings, they had some of the same hard, which is mind boggling. 🤷♀️ I also had my half siblings when I was older and loved taking care of them too. I think the hard part was feeling misunderstood and not appreciating who I was. I was pushed into replicated careers to my parents which I didn't feel called to. However, my step dad has cancer now. He lives for his only grandchildren, my children, and he tries, he really does.
I think it was also hard pretending my dad never existed, trying to replace him in a way? I guess that is more for a dead parent though. That was hard. You can't really replace them or make them disappear. I wish there was a way to have been more open about my original dad, but I know that it is hard to be a step parent. I acknowledge it is hard and honor you just trying and having interest in being a good step parent.
Ah, that's so sweet it is a peaceful coparenting environment
I’m sure Andy’s kids adore you Danna ❤❤❤
Well I certainly adore them :) thanks for the love, Kim 💖
I just bought your Christmas Squish and the 28 Glow up. I’m so excited! Thank you for them ❤. I’ve been living the “blended bliss” cough cough 😂 for 35 years as with everything there are good and not the best of times but As you know nothing is perfect but I have say just listening to your feelings and watching you now for awhile I knowing you will make the the best decision for YOU. Just please don’t settle! Andy seems amazing but as you say we only see about 1%
@@larissaromonouski4870 yay! I’m so happy you’re liking it. My legs are so sore from yesterday’s workout lol. I almost forget how out of shape I am lol thanks for the love. 💖🥰💖
Dana, there are some great books on the subject of Stepmoms. Maybe that would give you some thoughts, or help you out. I guess I would say, go slow, work on a special relationship with each child, and make sure they understand, and feel, that you're not trying to be their mom, (that can be very threatening to some kids). Let them feel that you are trying to make a caring relationship for everyone. At this stage, I think I would refer any big decisions or tough situations back to Andy. You love kids, it's not rocket science, just be good to them and they will come around! Good luck, you got this!!
LOVE this advice 💖 Thank you!
Hi where do I order your hats will you send to Canada ? I have a dusty blue coat and need a matching hat !!! It’s pretty cold here in Canada 🇨🇦
You have it right. Everything you said sounded like you're on right track. I saw myself as a support person for the kids and the parents. Just be yourself as you already do. Any mistakes I've made along the way I always owned them. I know they loved seeing I'm not perfect and that I'll apologize (their mom is high conflict and has a list of mental health disorders and never apologized..I know she struggles). First year was Honeymoon... over the years there has been bumps in road in occasions. But it's been all worth it. Mom was not supportive and made life very challenging for all. But we've handled it best we could.. I never talked bad about mom ever to them.. I always told them I love your mom (because I love them and she's their mom so I do love her). I'm just happy you're in a situation that isn't high conflict. So probably won't have as many bumps in road. Best of luck to all of you. I know you'll do well as you have lots of love to give ❤ It's all worth it and I'm very blessed. They call me S'mom because they thought stepmom sounds bad lol so I love they came up with S'mom. The one now calls me Mom now that she's an adult.
S’mom also sounded like s’more to me. We can always use s’mores in our life and we can also have s’more s’mom in our life!
@loripain4951 everyone needs a little s'more love in their life ❤ 💕 and now I'm craving a s'more 😅🤣❤
So awesome that you never put the kids mom down. I think this is very important in blended relationships especially. My mom was bipolar and could go off on anyone at anytime but neither my stepmom or stepsister ever said anything bad about her.
@@kristinelockwood2431 Thank you. I always had support through friends or if something more personal and didn't want to spread her business I would join stepmom support groups online where you can post anonymous and support one another. At least for the 2nd year (1st year was Honeymoon). Been their stepmom now for 10 years and they are young adults. The mom made my life hell but still I refused to ever let any of the girls hear me talk negative. I still have soft spot for the mom... without her I wouldn't have the girls. And I know mental illness is hard for many.
My Mother passed away when I was 11 and got a wicked stepmother at 13. Why marry a man who had four children ages 12-15 when you didn’t want children? She made our lives miserable. Imagine Cinderella! I admire you so much for caring for and wanting a relationship with Andy’s children. Just the fact you are taking time to go on a date with them to get to know them more is wonderful! You are a Bonus in their lives and hopefully they will be a Bonus in yours. Enjoy!
Question: Do the kids watch your vids?
No
I would bet they do! I always googled my mom/dad’s gf/bf’s as a teen haha so if they google her her videos will pop up.
@@Caley3Danna literally said they don't. I think she knows better than a stranger on the Internet.
@@Caley3 i agree. it's 2025 and they're not toddlers. ofc they do.
I’d say don’t be overbearing.
I’m 38 ,
They are 17 and 20
I’ve been with their dad since Zeke was 6! Now he’s 20 ❤
It’s been a great and unexpected experience for me :)
That's good advice. 💖
@ they are the coolest kids :) 👧
Now they drive ! What!!!!!!! they keep asking for our cars 🚗
Hey I have a crosstex!
lol Jon has a tesla :)
I don’t blame them for asking !
I also say helllll no ! :)
@ haha oh that’s so fun!!! Such an exciting time of life 💖✨
I know we only see 1% of your life, but just a couple videos ago you question/mention staying or going. So bonus mom or step mom, married or not seems a bit premature. Why not just be Danna. Does it need a label? I agree, it does not. But it seems like you are jumping in with both feet, while other times, even days later, it seems like just the big toe. I would think consistency for the children would be heatlhy rather than having to form a relationship with all of dad's girlfirends.
I will put my heart into that role as long as I'm dating their dad and living here. It is by nature the role I am in for them at this time and tho the future is uncertain, my heart for them and wanting to be a positive person and ally in their lives is not. I have been nothing but consistent with them ;) Just sharing more online as I love hearing other peoples experiences.
@@montanadanna be true to you as you do
Because being in a relationship contains being in their children's lives how that goes and what part you okay in takes time and between them..let them work it out..I'm a mom to two beautiful now adult kids and technically step mom but we are more like friends but also they are adult kids now..if she can and wishes to do what she is doing then so be it it's the only way to form a relationship and doesn't realy need a title to it..
What a nice idea to take the kids out to pick out something special. You’re doing a great job. I’m sure your experience in this will make it successful. ❤
I love the way Danna is living into her future by taking on the role of stepmom and wife in the PRESENT. After all, life is only in the NOW. And Danna is naming herself for who she is right now. Labelling ourselves gives us a grounded point from where to grow from.
Danna your instincts are correct and from the heart and that is all you need to do. I always so it is never wrong to have more people love your children.
Advice as requested: to be certain about their dad as a few videos it didn't seem you were all in, e.g should I stay or go. What if one of the kids sees that?
Also noticed there is SOOOO much repetition in your vids..you make a point, then you make it again, then you'll say it 5 more times. I'm a little surprised you edit your videos to repeat the same points over and over.
Little bit dull at times, but I know we out here making a living.
All the very best ❤️
Thank you for the feedback 💖
Marj, hope you feel better now!
@@DearLeah-z7t you seem the antagonist type. I don't believe sycophancy helps Danna or her channel grow. Having an opinion which doesn't fall into the 'fan-girl' category can actually help people grow and reflect, even though our ego gets a knock. I hope you feel better too ❤️
I totally agree that if you are in a relationship especially if you are living together it absolutely is the same difference. People get so hung up on the MARRIED word. I tell everyone they have to do it at least once (marriage that is) mine lasted 5 years ish. My father said he was concerned with my relationship with Dan (DANCY was our nickname) saying that if we were married for 10 years which we had already been together 6 years I could get 1/2 of his social security. ( he was married before for 30 years) but Danna as I always say do what's best for you! Dan and I did not want to get remarried since we had both been there before! He passed away 2.5 years ago. We had several great years together and the one of his kids never wanted to meet me which I am fine with. He had a son that I saw a few times but did not spend any time with him. He had one adopted daughter that he raised as his own. She finally wanted to meet me so I had dinner with her and her twins once. They lived in CA and met us while we were down at his FL condo for a long weekend. Not sure why we never met again. I think you two are old enough and have been in enough relationships to know what's best for the two of you.
Thank you for sharing your story 💖 Every situation is certainly different. Thanks for the love and wishing you peace and a happy week.
@@montanadanna awwww....you are welcome. You looked extra pretty today. Your happiness is shining through.....you will make a great role model for any child you come into contact with! I see your organizational skills is rubbing off on Skyler. He did a closet purge which you are aware of since you edit his videos and I thought of you! You also enjoy your alone time while Andy is away. TEAM DANDY here! Nancy from OHIO
Hello danna you are so kind and loving im sure what you do in your personal life you will be doing it with a loving heart 😊 have a great day my friend
Just worried that you seem to be driving with out holding the wheel.! One hand holding camera the other gesticulating ??
If she wants to be treated like a child, she'll let you know.
On the workouts do we have access to them after the 8 or 12 weeks or are they only available from the time we purchase it until the time is up?
@@beckystiles1754 you’ll have the downloads forever once you purchase ✨✨
@ thank you!
You might care about being able to get SS from % of your "husband's" wages. Trust me; it's a big game changer.
For now just concentrate on being a friend since yall arent married that way its healthier for the children in case you two do part ways.
I wasn't married with my mow husband of 2 years but together for now 17..never took the role of step mom.but didmt treat them anymore different then my own..when they were teenagers ..
Marriage has nothing to do with being a step parent. It's not required.
@@lesliemartin670 I think that’s what I would do whether I’m married to him or not. Not trying to take the place of their parent, and just wanted to be a supportive, loving person in their life.
Loved seeing my name on the screen :) I cannot imagine the hurdle of the mix of religion, I didn’t even think about that. I knew you were open to it but idk why I didn’t think about the possible kids in the mix 🫣🤷🏼♀️👀
& girl not the Supreme Court, you need to give us that tea (if you’re comfortable). If not it’s fine I get it! I’m still finding out info at 32 that my mom lied about my whole life. Including who my bio father is 🤦🏼♀️🫣 YIKES! The only dad I’m calling dad, is the man that raised me & mans last name that I got 🤷🏼♀️😂
Share it why? For your entertainment? I'm sure they're not good memories for her, so why would you want to put her through talking about it all?
Marriage is God centered. It's a covenant, not religious . It's in the Bible. It's Holy.
I agree it is that for a lot of people, but not for all 💖💖💖
@@montanadannaWow!! You probably shouldn’t be looking towards marriage, because marriage is difficult enough and if you don’t consider it, Holy then good luck with that…
@@virginiaburman7076 People have different belief systems, and viewpoints. Just because they don't precisely line up with your feelings on the subject doesn't mean theirs are invalid, or lesser than yours.
@@virginiaburman7076 I was just stating that for a lot of of people, marriage is God centered. For a whole lot of other people, it has nothing to do with religion or God. There are a lot of people who do not believe in the Bible, who are married. That’s what I’m saying, just because it’s how you feel doesn’t mean it’s true for everyone.
I agree. Marriage is a covenant. And many people may not "agree" but it doesn't make it untrue!!
I think im fortunate that my ex partners werent in the picture when i married my husband but i did speak with them as a courtesy but as they werent seeing the kids they didnt feel they had much to input my only thing i said to my husband is if they need to be told off for any reason that it was left to me as i knew how best to deal with each child in that way (2 are special needs ) where he didnt but now after 26 years my kids are in their 30s they all have a really close relationship and feel they can go to him for anything and actually often prefer to ask him stuff as they get a different perspective to mine
Red looks great on you!
Aww, thanks!💖
hi danna! is that you singing the song during the workout?
No, those are royalty free songs .
Danna, I think you're great with kids. Skylar's kids seem to really like you and enjoy your company. Wasn't it Lincoln who wanted you to crochet a blanket for Millie the kitty? So cute...
Yes, it was haha. So cute!
try not to over think this, it will all work out!!! you have so much to offer
Your a bonus girlfriend but your important in there life
Totally agree with your views on marriage/relationships xxxx
I love candy cane. With Pom Pom. On top How much are they. Love it. ❤
@@cathyedwards6322 Oh thank you so much! Here’s a link: montanadanna.sellfy.store/p/candy-cane-lane-beanie/
How about Winddona,lol, thanks for stepping back inside it was pretty loud😉. Divorce, almost everyone experiences it at some point, definitely don’t believe that the divorce rate is only 50%, my mom has a race going on with Elizabeth Taylor except my mom didn’t pick rich men, just a propensity towards alcoholism 🤪. Danna, I agree if you are in a live in relationship, you are a stepparent that happens to use your name Danna, as a kid we didn’t really think about it unless asked. Really respect your frankness, and honesty about marriage vs. partnership, I’ve seen too many fall apart when they got married. If I were a kiddo, I would love you in my life, you bring so many gifts, how can they lose.
Thanks for the update Danna, hope you are off to a Great Week!🧶💕✨👍
What is the name of vlogging camera Andy got you?😊
ahhhh... I thought you wanted to be married and have kids. I must've not understood your (past) videos. LOL
🤔 🧐
I 100% want kids, I would like to be married, but it is not my main priority. Healthy relationships are. I think a lot of people get married and have babies cause they feel like that’s what they’re supposed to do, then end up in a loveless relationship. I’m not interested in that and I’m willing to wait to have kids with someone who I’m truly compatible with. Marriage isn’t the goal, healthy relationship relationships are. If it leads to marriage, then amazing.
@@montanadanna 💖
It's as if no one listens.🤦🏼♀️
I think you are doing great by the kiddos…be real ….don’t make promises you can’t keep ….as far as labeling …I would not get hung up on labels …married or not. You’re Danna dating their dad . Yes you have a role in their life albeit peripheral. They have an involved mother and father it seems. Everyone in the equation based on what you say is acting like mature adults. It’s not divorce that mess the kids up ..kids are resilient…it’s the adults around them that do that . I will add though while you are on fence about their dad that you are in fact playing house with him and in their home when he has them so if you still on the fence about him they may be getting attached to you which will suck should you bolt. I guess that’s true in any situation. I realize you may be doing this for channel’s engagement but what you put on the internet last forever so be mindful including them in vlogs for views if you not committed to the relationship…sitting on the fence is not commitment nor is it all in . Hard to tell what’s real or not with influencers . Seems you know what to do already with kids. Please be real and understand at any point they can google you and see your videos with or without anyone’s permission talking about their dad and your issues with him. Figure out what you doing their dad before trying to figure out your role in their lives.
Totally agree. Labels don't matter ... relationships do. 💖💖 I love hearing peoples stories and experiences. If you have any resources/books/podcasts on the subject, I'd love to know. Since you're asking ... I typically don't plan out videos. I was doing my one-on-one date with the kids on this day, so the subject was on my mind. In fact, this subject has been on my mind since July/August, just my first time sharing it publicly. I am still committed to the relationship as long as we are together, but it certainly has question marks now. Everything is very real. I wish reality were black and white, but it IS very confusing sometimes. So just sharing my present reality. 2 things can be true at once. I BOTH have question marks around the relationship AND love Andy and his kids very much. I BOTH have a dealbreaker around having kids AND want to keep nourishing my relationships with Andy and his kids while we figure this out. I wish it were black and white, then these decisions would be a whole lot easier.
What drama channel this is turning out to be . Girl you don’t need any advice …you’re doing this for the views and engagements. You been around kids and helped raised your siblings you said . Good Lord I would hate to date someone and have them post our business online like this for strangers to dissect . This particular vlog got highschool real fast. .You do you girl and ya’ll will either work it or you won’t .
@@Soitgoesbze I 100% agree with you that you see it that way ✨💖
Are you still editing for Skylar? He’s been having a lot of relationship status clickbait too…
Okay, I am saying this in the most loving way I know how... (I left a comment already but feel the need to ask you this question)... reflect on all of your past relationships and current one... and ponder this... "Why am I taking care and worried about other people's children and not working on having my own children which is a deep desire of mine (this does not mean I have to stop taking care/loving other people's children, this means I am not going to sacrifice myself for everyone else)? What steps can I take to stay true to myself and not give up my dreams of becoming a mother? Are there still possibilities and ways that I can become a mother? What are the steps I need to take to see these possibilities come to life?"
Wow great food for thought
@@LindaEstep24 do not even worry. I am asking all the questions and doing what I need to do in the meantime. I appreciate the care you put into your comments. Putting effort into showing Kids love and sweetness is never a lost cause in my opinion. The rest of the stuff, fertility… Surgery… Relationship… It’s a bit of an escape room right now. Of course I’m asking these questions. Of course. The situation is what it is and we’re doing our best and keeping an open line of communication. Had a bit of a standstill until surgery is over at the moment. In the meantime, I’m gonna love on the people I live with as I love them very much 💖💖
A1 comment! YES. it's insane to me she would be willing to care for other people's children for years, decades, without any assurances that marriage provides. that is A LOT of emotional, physical, spiritual labor. it's a gift to be a stepparent but let's also not pretend it's not a lot of work too. and i don't mean just financial benefit of marriage, there are major protections that marriage provides (that domestic partnership does not, these are 2 different things). You can take care of someone else's kids like they're your own for a decade, never get married bc 'it's just a piece of paper', the rship ends, and you're 50s, childless (when your dream was a child of your own) with nothing to show for it. Also if you're reading this Danna, there are A LOT of men who want to have children and soon. Esp ones who haven't had kids yet and want them and also feel behind. Think 45-55. And to counter some some trolls from your videos about this, no, they aren't only looking for women under 35. I would certainly not stay in Utah though if you do end up leaving for a better suited partner.
It feels like she is at a point to settle with what she has or possibly due to finances, is staying. The moving in together was rushed and came about due to finances, not as a natural next step in the relationship. As a parent, Andy really should have held off until knowing each other longer bc he has 3 minor children splitting time in the house. Yes, you can develop feelings quickly, but a person's character is something you learn over time. Sometimes time cant be rushed. Im sure Danna has learned a great deal about Andy since they first met and at this point, he has backtracked several times. Looking back at the love bombed video, that's how it started. Only Danna can know what the best choice is for her, but just bc its with Andy now doesn't mean its a guarantee.
@@montanadanna 💞💞💞
I bet you're a fab stepmum, funny, adapt and very daft, that's a compliment up here in Scotland 😂 looking forward to quiet later in the house so I can watch this video x
Aww, thanks for the sweetness 💖
Don’t try so hard to fit in!! Let it happen naturally kids can pick up those vibes
That’s good advice! Totally agree 😊💖
😊😘 sure they will love u over time cuz ur a good human
It sounds like you are getting great advice.
Yes, I love hearing other people’s experiences 💖💖💖
You’re doing great Danna❤
Thanks for the love, Stacey 💖
I lived with a lady who had a severely autistic son,a druggie son and a spoiled brat son.I had a normal well mannered son and daughter so that mix made for some interesting lifes experiences
She expected me to take her autistic son into my construction business but he turned out to be the laziest item on two legs.The druggie would continually steal my expensive power tools to sell to buy drugs.What could I do,I was living with his mother so bringing the police into the mix was a no go.The spoiled brat?well he was the creation of his lazy mother.After 5 years we split,the best thing for me.Our love died after the first 6 months.Kids,other peoples kids in a relationship destroy that relationship big time
What I think, Andy is telling you being a stepmom will be as fulfilling as having a biological child. I think you are struggling with this as your eyes seem sad. You have to determine is he worth compromising what you have always yearned for.
Noo ... no it's not. Potentially being a stepmom is wonderful and beautiful, but will never be as fulfilling as having my own child and raising them from birth. It is not and never has been something I'm willing to compromise on and it's been a dealbreaker from the very beginning.
@@montanadanna YES YES YES!!! There you go Danna! THat's the Danna we know and love!! YOU GO GIRL!!! Stick to your dreams!!
You are their BONUS Mom!! It’s a great role …. I’m one and so are YOU!! 💞
Great video ❤️
Thanks, Karen 💖
I don’t think you need advice on being a step mom. You already seem to know how to navigate that. Probably because of your experience and your wisdom.
That’s very sweet of you, I still like hearing other perspectives and getting ideas. I grew up with kind of a negative view of a step parent and it’s just so heartwarming to hear about the good connections people have. 💖💖💖
Love the ebook. Used it for years now. Great program!
YAY! SO happy you like it and are still using it 💖
Love your dates with the kids. Couldn’t agree more that a piece of paper should have no bearing on the way you love and respect your partner and the kids. If someone isn’t doing that while dating, being married isn’t going to change that. Also having a respectful relationship with their other parent is commendable and I love that you have that. There is no reason the kids should be put in the middle. I think if the kids always know that you are there for them and that you and the other parents all are on the same page with rules and so forth is best too so they don’t get mixed messages from one parent over the other and have that cause issues between the parents too. Have a great week!!
Feel you on the marriage thing - it was important when I was 19-21.... luckily it didn't happen (just because I had a baby) but now --- I've been in a relationship for 20 years!!! He was/has been the best "father" ever to my son since 3 yrs of age and I just got engaged 1 year ago :) I'd love to get married by September but --- like you, we aren't going anywhere - its the same as being married just not legal 😂❤🎉😂
I hate the saying. Stepmom or stepdad.. I told my kids to call me Mark or if you want Dad. No STEP, ANYTHING.. THEY CHOSE Mark. Great.
Haha. I think I would feel the same way. Thanks for sharing, Mark💖
Just worried that you seem to be driving with out holding the wheel.! One hand holding camera the other gesticulating ??
On another note, My now husband and I were together 25 years before we got married and only did that because he had a v serious operation and he wanted me to be secure if he popped his clogs. We would have done if I had managed to get pregnant but I didn’t - had a miscarriage - so we didn’t. You are SO right- the quality of the relationship is what matters not the label or the paperwork - unless you are religious which we’re not. Xxx
If she wants you to treat her like a child, she'll let you know.
Ooh, the religion stuff must be hard. There has to be lots of animosity from one side a d if they have time to snoop on your videos they will judge, and talk about it and that will be a major deal because it will never end until they stop judgement and yakking. Kids will then be reluctant to be approving as well. That is a mile on hurdles. Eventually, everyone will fall in love with you but I can only imagine that would take maturity and time. Teens can be cruel. The one person I dated with teens was really hard. The girl tweeted, while we were sitting down to a treat at a restaurant that I paid for, a very mean thing on Twitter. Basically, I still remember it. To her dad she said, I must really love you because I am putting up with this. This was a meal. I don't have money to feed others but I was paying for it as it was his birthday.
Thought you had surgery Jan 6 th I'm confused ❤
Surgery was postponed as she had a sinus infection
Go back and watch the prior videos 😉 😀
@lulamamie8524 poor closed captions I'm deaf excuses me
@@janeenance7211 the title, in text, of the video is literally "surgery is canceled."
@@janeenance7211she did a video updating us.
You don’t need a piece of paper to say you’re in love 10:29 🤦🏼♀️😂
Lort have mercy them Facebook Karen’s. They’re so cut & dry RIGHT/WRONG. You’re a live in very much step parent 😆
I think its beautiful that you are going into this with intention and being thoughtful of your impact and thinking about the long term relationship you have with not only Andy but also his kids (its a package deal after all!).
I get you, girl. What I hear you saying is that you take that role and relationship very seriously and want to be thoughtful.... You are correct your dynamic is that of the step parent/bonus parent. You are living in their space and functioning as that role. Wanting to do that well isn't rushing anything... It will set you all up for success long term.... it's beautiful.
DONT DATE PEOPLE WITH KIDS!!!!
DON'T BE SMALL MINDED!
@DearLeah-z7t i dated people with kids i know how it goes, pain in the ass
You're only a stepmom if you're married to the father of the children. Calling yourself that now is offensive to the mother and children
@@ireneleedy1723 i’m not saying I am their stepmom, but it is certainly the role I am in. You can call it whatever you want. ☺️
Marriage is not a requirement for being someone's stepmom. People are so ridiculous. 🙄@@montanadanna
Rene, you're ridiculous.
Everything you just said is exactly with the kiddos, how you should be.
Some of us im sure have dealt with a difficult exwife 😉 its a strain.
Yesss, it's SO exhausting! Blessed to have a peaceful situation 💖
That's so great and so good for the kiddos!
Don't overthink the stepmom role. You know how to love kids, that about covers it.
Consistency, Consistency, and Consistency. In all areas. Remove the guessing.
You look amazing in yellow.
I agree with you.
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I feel the exact same about labels of spouse, etc. Those are our societies current labels. Legal stuff that I sometimes have to work with would use paramour. My proof of my beliefs of those labels is The Woman at the Well, where Mr Jesus himself said to her, you have had this many husbands in life. She is shocked. I get her confused with the men who wanted to stone a girl and he drew stuff in writing in the sand, calling the dudes out because they all put down there stones and left. For me, sleeping with someone is becoming one and that is a marriage.
I admire you Danna. Such a hard worker! So many talents! You have so much to offer in your relationship. I wish you the best in any hard future decisions.
Bonus mom❤
Thanks!
🍿 entertaining comment section lol .
Danna and Andy ♥♥♥♥♥👑👑👑👑👑 Goals