"Ambiguity is ADHDer's kryptonight!" OMG! I never heard anyone say that and it is SOOOOOOO true. I used to have problems with that at work. Whenever there was ambiguous direction in a project I would just freeze, I didn't know what to do at all. My coworker said "just start", and I that made ZERO sense to me. But what happens if you are your own boss and must create fake deadlines and boundaries for yourself? My brain knows I made these constraints up and constantly bipasses them.
In some cases that freezing is reasonable. You don't «just start» a project that's *really* complicated, as there may be sh*tty consequences. You need to think about them first - it's not bad, it's just a byproduct of your mind warning itself.
For the last part about creating fake boundaries/deadlines Idk if this'll work for you, but my cheat is I make a to-do list, and then strike off the next thing needed done as if it's done. Makes me feel obligated to complete it. Sounds silly but works for me! so if your list is: -Groceries -Clean garage -Laundry -Dishes And you plan to do laundry next, strike it thru like you finishednit, then start on it right away. Helps me do things, worth a try😊
@@ArheIy what if you don't start can you put that project off at the end of the month you've got 10 of them staring at you that you haven't been able to start that's overwhelm
i thought so too. it increased my anxiety so much and I kept finding myself fast-forwarding. Too much information. too much fast moving hands. Do any of us need a definititon of overwhelm?!?!? I kept getting distracted by that window in the background in the empty looking room....was it really empty? why was it empty?
I could remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES sure of mycologist Predroshrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, addiction. Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
As a person with adhd and cptsd I find myself far more productive when I’m in the middle of complete chaos. It’s brings me a sense of peace. I’m my best when I’m faced with a deadline. And it destroyed me.
omg this is me too 100% - unless its absolute chaos with my business i barely get out of bed :( i have cptsd and i have just booked a psychiatric appointment for adhd testing - suddenly everything is making sense! i have been self isolating for 2 years now with crippling emotional dysregulation and anxiety....i really hope this will help me leave the house...
I tell my friends and take before and after pictures. They encourage me and congratulate me and that’s so important for me. I’ve been in freeze mode for 4 years. I’m going through a state of profound grief. I constantly look for clarity and reassurance that I’m still the same person and getting better mentally.
There is one thing that helps me have a change of state or a change of mind, and that is taking what I call a “reset break.” I get up from my desk and go get a cup of coffee, go outside for a 10-minute walk, or walk around the office and look out the window if I can’t take a walk outside. Just getting out of my immediate physical space helps me reset. That’s why I’m so much more productive after lunch. 🙂 I’ve had a complete reset away from the office or wherever I’m working.
I can't tell you how much money I have spent on psychologists trying to explain this problem to them. Spoiler alert: they didn't get it and their advice was useless for me. Not only did you explain what is happening so well that i guarantee that's my problem, but your sticks is such a good problem solver (at least it sounds that way - ill try it out). You listed a couple reason for feeling this overwhelm that causes people to get stuck but for me, it's housework and daily living tasks like errands, bills, making appointments etc. I'm very grateful for this video. Thank you
Me too. Either one alone is hard but the two together is completely debilitating. I also have fibromyalgia, chronic pain and fatigue. Yippee! I've been in ADHD paralysis and CPTSD freeze mode all day. I know how to get myself out of the ADHD paralysis but the CPTSD feels impossible. My nervous system is literally screaming that it's not safe to move.
Unironically: “Resparklize” is my new favorite word and now a permanent part of my life. Also, I dig your channel and I swear it feels like you made this video for me. Thank you.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 😩 *Introduction to ADHD Overwhelm* - Introduction to the concept of ADHD overwhelm, - Karen McGill introduces herself as an ADHD coach addressing common feelings of overwhelm, - Importance of acknowledging feelings of overwhelm in individuals like Emily and providing support. 01:38 🚗 *Overwhelm's Impact and Risk of Burnout* - Explanation of how prolonged overwhelm can lead to burnout, - Metaphor of driving a car with the emergency brake on to illustrate the strain of constant overwhelm, - The danger of not addressing overwhelm leading to burnout. 02:33 📚 *Framework for Addressing Overwhelm* - Introducing a framework to understand and address overwhelm, - Importance of clarity on the causes of overwhelm to find solutions, - The significance of accessing executive function skills to navigate overwhelm effectively. 03:27 🧠 *Nervous System's Role in Overwhelm* - Explanation of how our nervous system reacts during overwhelm, - The impact of fight, flight, or freeze responses on accessing executive functions, - Recognizing and understanding one's nervous system response to address overwhelm effectively. 05:19 📝 *Using the STICKS Framework for Overwhelm* - Introduction to the STICKS acronym for understanding and addressing overwhelm, - Breakdown of each letter in the acronym, including State, Thinking, Interest, Clarity, Knowledge, and Structure, - Emphasis on using the framework as a tool for self-awareness and problem-solving. 06:30 🤔 *Evaluating Emotional and Physical State (STICKS: State)* - Importance of recognizing one's emotional and physical state during overwhelm, - Addressing factors like sleep, food, and emotional state as contributors to feeling overwhelmed, - Strategies to improve emotional regulation through self-awareness. 07:26 💭 *Analyzing Thought Patterns (STICKS: Thinking)* - Exploration of thought patterns contributing to overwhelm, - Recognizing limiting beliefs, perfectionism, and negative thought spirals, - Strategies for neutralizing and reframing thoughts to alleviate overwhelm. 08:37 🎯 *Aligning with Interests (STICKS: Interest)* - Understanding the role of interest in motivation and task completion, - Strategies to make tasks more engaging and meaningful, - Leveraging dopamine and interest-driven approaches to combat overwhelm. 09:31 🕶 *Seeking Clarity in Tasks (STICKS: Clarity)* - Importance of clarity in defining tasks and expectations, - Strategies for asking clarifying questions and understanding task objectives, - Addressing ambiguity as a contributor to overwhelm and seeking clear directives. 11:27 🧰 *Evaluating Skills and Knowledge (STICKS: Knowledge)* - Assessing one's skills and knowledge in relation to task requirements, - Encouragement to seek knowledge and resources for skill development, - Overcoming barriers to task completion through curiosity and learning. 12:49 📅 *Implementing Structure and Boundaries (STICKS: Structure)* - Emphasis on creating structure through planning, scheduling, and prioritizing, - Importance of setting boundaries and managing expectations, - Strategies for organizing tasks, time, and environment to alleviate overwhelm. Made with HARPA AI
It's the middle of the night i have been putting off studying for HOURS, my exam is at 9am this morning and instead of studying I'm watching this video. LOVE my brain.
State - physical & emotional. Get enough sleep, nutrition, exercise, relax and regulate your emotions. Thinking - is my fear true or am I making assumptions. Take a few deep breaths. Examine your thoughts. Interest - spark your curiosity. What is the value or benefit of the task. Get a body double. Clarity - how should things look, what should I do next... Knowledge - do I have the right skills to follow through, how to get them, ask questions, what could go wrong. Structure - to-do list for what, when and how long should be done. Set boundaries on what is possible for you. This gave me a lot of clarity and structure! Thanks, you showed us pure gold :)
To achieve "the state" with excersize and nutrition, it takes organizing tasks into plans. Anything that takes organization is going to fail for most people with ADHD.
If you are underslept, malnutritioned and lack physical exercise anything will be hard to organize. The advice is on point. Take care of your physical state first. Get enough sleep, take care of what you eat and take a walk or choose any activity you enjoy. It helps with the next steps. Yeah, organisation might be difficult , so help yourself, set reminders, get a buddy for support, make it interesting, etc. Make it a good life ❤
People who don't understand that a disability that makes it almost impossible to organize should stop telling people to "just organize!" It's like nobody bothered to even look up what ADHD is. Yes, the things you said can help. It's the fact you think ADHD people can "just" do those things that bother me! We can't sleep, we have insomnia. We can't just excersize, we have executive dysfunction. We can't just eat, we have forgetfullness. Alarms ans sticky notes don't work for all ADHD people because it litteraly becomes background noise to us!!! The fact that people think ADHD people can "just" do things is ablist as fuck!!! We litterally have to trick ourselves into getting up to do the things we _enjoy_ , wtf do you think adding a whole routine is gonna help!? PLEASE educate yourself before spouting nonsense! I beg you! ADHD people need help from ADHD people, not from neurotypicals who think a neurotypical routine is going to help 🤮
Well, I feel like you are being rude to me for no reason. Never did I use the word "just" and debilitated how hard it might be. Also how you concluded I'm neurotypical is beyond me. I'm sorry but hating on people no matter the reason is sad. Seems like no one around is understanding enough of your issues. I hope you'll get all the help needed to feel supported and loved. All the best! ❤
I came across your clip at the right time and am in a similar situation as Emily, feeling like I have done so many things yet accomplished nothing. The project I'm working on is overwhelming me. Your instructions are clear and give me the strength to take a deep breath and sort things out. I'm glad I watched your video. This helps a lot. Thank you
At 54 years old I am finally looking into this. I would move provinces to get away from things. I feel for you Emily. I could have written this exact statement.
I viewed the "overwhelm" as this singular, universal thing and was too focused on trying solutions; which turns out was half the problem. Always assumed it was just "too many things and no structure". This helped me actually get to the root. For me, it's 100% having this perfect ideal of how I want things to go or how they should be; snowballing the frustration and sabotaging. And of course nothing ever felt "right", so no solution could ever work. So eventually I'll freeze and do nothing. *Even rewrote this comment 20x lol.
Glad to find your content! I've found I keep falling back into the freeze, procrastination, making a big decision, overwhelm loop. Thank you for pointing out likely causes and the best way to tackle it!
Watching this video makes me sink even deeper into my overwhelm. Feeling incapable in every way possible. I'm useless, seemingly can't be helped, and no will to do anything about it. I've been doing therapy, and I just can't make anything happen. I feel despair in everything.
Don’t worry you have a great purpose . You just have to overcome this obstacle . It’s actually somewhat of a gift to be going through this right now , once you crack the code on this and master it , you will see that you are quite useful and you can even help others in this same situation. I’m in the same boat at risk of failing my courses again , but I know that there is a plan for me I couldn’t even imagine a life without purpose I want it so bad . What I can imagine is overcoming this obstacle and seeing a great blessing that came from all of this struggle . Don’t give up keep your hope for the future , I pray often and make sure to keep my faith above all things. I’ve been considering getting medicine maybe for this issue , maybe that’s a route you might have to take just for the moment . Don’t give up God has a plan though you can’t see it yet , have hope .
My house looks like a hoarders house. I was never like this and now I've been struggling for years. Looking around myself at home I want to curl up and hide in a closet. I can't do the simplest thing. I wouldn't let my worst enemy into my house. I'm not a hoarder, everything just got out of hand. This video isn't helping me either. I want to throw everything I own out.
@@MARCIA.ZZZZZZI have the same problem. But only about myself. When it comes to helping others I’m super good. Where do you live? I’d love to come help you! Because I wish someone could help me and there’s no one and I just feel despair. But helping others motivates me somehow.
Wow! This is why I “froze” when faced with my mom’s cluttered apartment when I had to move her to a nursing home. Never been diagnosed with ADHD but this totally explains why my 2 cousins were able to thankfully swoop in and help me and I was unable to do much. The clutter, the stress, the exhaustion all added up to overwhelm.
I've never had anything that I could do, even with decades of therapy, that allowed me to get myself unfrozen and out of an expectation talespin. This video is life.
Same. It was totally ridiculous. At every speed I listened to it. Kind of aggravating. So much blah blah blah in such a harsh annoying way. Plus an acronym. I hate acronyms for stuff like this. Not helpful at all. 😢
This was great! My son, who is in high school, is having an overwhelming response to trying to organize and accomplish his work. It is so stressful for all of us and disheartening to see him hobbled by executive function issues. He’s such a bright, amazing person whose brain doesn’t easily succeed in this neurotypical world of school. I Can see him already limiting his beliefs of who he thinks he can be. I feel like I need a PhD in psychology to parent this kid.
Oh my gosh! Your post really touched my heart. It’s great to see that you’re such a caring parent. Just keep on supporting him and his beliefs and letting him know that he does not have to be main stream. ❤️
When you have managed to “overwhelm” yourself with so many resources that you have no idea if you have signed up for Caren’s email list or not…who am I kidding? “You” is me! 😂
Experiencing the same with my studying last year or two. Do enjoy the comparison to the car engine with lacking maintenance. Working on cars a hobby for me, what made me realise I have to do some "maintenance" to myself to function as well. (Before my diagnoses) Always liked maintaining things, everything besides myself ironically. Learned that I can't just try and push through, calling myself lazy and stupid when I fall behind or put too unrealistic targets for myself, from the all or nothing mentality. But rather look at the problems, one by one, give myself recovery time and sleep, fresh air and recovery I need. It's always an uphill battle, but pscyhoeducation sure makes it all a lot more realistically doable.
I really appreciate the approach you have towards encouraging adults with ADHD. I really dislike the infantilization of adults with ADHD and using having a differently wired brain as an excuse to not act like an adult or avoid adult conversations; I feel I can do the thing !! Dare I say all the things !!
This video came at exactly the right time! Moving, starting a business, and applying for my citizenship - it's a bit nuts. I started freezing up a couple of days ago and the stress of it all was making me so tired. I'm going to work through this today. You're the best!! Seriously, thank you!!
This is EXACTLY what I needed today. I have been stuck in overwhelm for about the past 10 years, with the occasional moment of clarity. I’m about to tackle my day with some STICKS. 😉
I can’t believe all I’m hearing and seeing I was always so hard on my self my family always without knowing putting me down I couldn’t stay in a job more than 1 or 2 years getting depress and didn’t realize I had a problem until now and I just turn 30 years old . I found out studding for real estate and having an amazing boss and work and I had to quit loving my job being so overwhelm what it to do everything and no completing things. I couldn’t make a excuse like before saying bad boss work environment being toxic. Being in a job that I love and me reacting the way I did made me thing and search and then is when I found what ADHD was. Seeing all this people going threw the same thing or similar situation I thought I was the only one. Everything happen for a reason if I don’t had this job a had I wouldn’t had know what was going on .
You're a natural teacher. So much energy and enthusiasm. by the way, when I worked in the office around 2010 the decided it was a good idea to get rid of cubicles and have everyone sit next to each other in a giant room with computers a foot away from each other. It was a true nightmare for an ADHD person. But no one at work even considers these things. They don't create work environments for neurodivergent people.
Wow, I can resonate with every single word, both in terms of the stated problem as well as potential solution, as i suffered from pretty much same situation for years which eventually led to / contributed to severe depression and Corona- and home office-induced social anxiety. I began therapy a year ago and was ADHD diagnosed 6 months ago. This enabled me to realize first time in my life that I'm not a lazy, disorganized, parasitic and unworthy piece of s**t (thanks to my narcissistic father). Instead, i began to understand that a better life is possible and that i can take up responsibility for my future self while i'm not at fault or personally guilty or to be ashamed for my past. Sense of shame and guilt remains a huge challenge for me, often getting in my way to successfully adopt and evolve the systems we need to deal and eventually thrive with our ADHD. This video, dear Caren, has wonderfully expressed in a crisp and comprehensive way some of my raw thoughts and learnings about dealing with overwhelm, you have given words to those immature thoughts of mine. ❤❤❤
This is so relatable. Thank you for posting this! I literally get so stressed because I’m a master-procrastenator, and always fall behind and have to play catch-up with courses because I get so overwhelmed and I just get paralized and end up not doing anything. This vid was so helpful with maintaing awareness, which I think is vital to start the process of remeding paralysis. Thanks again!
I love how clean your house is😢 mine is an absolute disaster, not gross, but I have boxes here, art stuff there, christmas decor still out, ect. But i see everything i need to do and freeze up with overwhelm. I am not adhd, I am Bipolar2 with executive dysfunction. But still it makes me want to cry, because myeds either balance my mood, or boost my productivity, there is no in between balance.. anytime i am in productivity mode from meds, i tend to lean into mania. So i haven't pursued meds for the executive dysfunction since. 😢😢 i just want to function and not cry the whole time.
Man, my issue is a mix of overcommitting and too much to do. But a huge amount of my overcommitting has been projects to forever reduce the workload I’m facing. Issue being, now I’m a burnt husk who can’t do anything anymore anyway
This is excellent content. I am undiagnosed (can't afford assessment) & currently under a mountain of undone work. I have been struggling and I think the big thinking / anxiety piece is important. It's hard to work well with 'I'm about to get fired' playing in the background. Because my work as backed up, I have found the to-do list itself overwhelming. It usually triggers the freeze - I work from home and am drawn to anything sparkly/ stimulating for a boost, news and current affairs is a big one. This list was helpful though, I feel much calmer now, the first step being stop playing the 'I'm about to be fired' theme song... if I am, I am and worrying isn't going to help. Thank you
When my job was like this, I spent a bunch of time on making systems for myself. Sometimes my favorite “system” was introducing a random operation to “TELL ME” what to do. You can always figure out a way to ask yes or no question of a dice roll, or card draw, or opening a book and pointing. I’ve found that my subconscious mind will help make it clear IF I LET IT.
Wow wow!!! It's the first time here at your channel. The way you explain the steps with the acronym, the questions you use to give me guidance and your overall personality are wonderful. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!❤ You have gained a new subscriber. Looking forward to watch more videos
watched video July 12 2023-Caren really has taken off on her excellent instructional videos. I learn SO MUCH AND GAIN PEACE FROM THEM. thank-you Caren !!!!- your student Deborah
The “clarity” example you gave is so me! I’m working on getting ahead of that but keep repeating the same mistake of going down that rabbit hole. I have to keep reminding myself to stop and ask for clarification.
pretty good advice, and while the one about jobs SHOULD work, I've never seen it actually work in practice. I've had a couple different corporate office jobs that were filled to the brim with meetings. Entire departments approached the powers that be and explained to them just how much time all the silly little meetings were taking and basically asked the same question. "Do you want us to sit in meetings or do you want us to get work done?" The answer was "both". I've even approached management on my own before and explained that you can't do 12 hours of work in a 8 hours shift. Their answer has always been "well you better figure out a way". I know it's really not what the video is about, but man, makes my blood boil.
omg I am so glad I found this channel have been feeling like my mind just has multiple personalities with careers, with my spirit, even with my heart and it is because I try to take on all the things that interest me this definitely speaks my language and makes me understand myself a lot better
It just occurred to me I was better at Self Regulation before I moved back in with my mother(we're 41 and 72). But also hearing stories i'm better at giving advice than tsking it.
It does. I actually can’t work due to a lifetime of bullying in primary, secondary and tertiary education and in the workplace I’m on disability support
Good video. One thing I do if I'm in a "one person department" situation is write down everything that has to happen and then organize it into a timeline. Allowing for scheduling conflicts, prerequisite items, special circumstances. Then I make a schedule and only look at a small chunk of time at once. Go from task to task. And the second one doesn't exist until the first is accomplished. This works out best if you don't have a hard deadline, but it does work, for me.
Hey, great video! I feel overwhelmed all the time since forever and after watching this I can finally understand why, so thank you! Btw I love the way you talk about topics and I always feel hope after watching them, while watching other channels give me the opposite effect, since they generally only say stuff like "your brain is just like that, good luck". On the other hand, your content really helps to understand how these situations occur and give tools to deal with them, which I appreciate a lot. So again, thank you!
I’m a new subscriber, listening through your videos while I take care of tasks. It’s motivating and your advice is so logical. This channel was a great find. Thank you for what you do :) I’ll listen to some a few times so they sink in.
I have no diagnosis of ADHD, and I have hardly looked into it. But I am more or less in a functional freeze state for the last 4 years and everything you explained is my situation to the T. Thank you so much! I feel grateful to have come across this video.
Thank you so much, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed for a while and have been watching a bunch I’m of videos, but this one really helped me clarify things and realise the root of my problem, a lack of structure
This is such a real issue, I have a brand new dream job and for the life of me I can’t seem to get there on time!!! It’s so frustrating because I know this is really bugging people I work with
feeling so stuck because im in between jobs and i need to register for classes next semester but because its summer i feel like im in a floaty limbo part of my life and it makes absolutely everything impossible to do i just keep sleeping the time away because i feel so overwhelmed and this is an incredible video that is making me feel so heard and validated and now i know i am capable of literally anything!! I just need to have some boundaries and structure set up for myself! Thank you so much!
I just found your channel Oh my goodness you speak to so much of what I experience! So helpful to hear, I've never been diagnosed, but I am a trauma survivor (like so many) and freeze mode was my way to survive. Now as a 53 yr old woman I find I have had multiple coping mechanisms for my life to date. I have built some systems to help, but sometimes even those have failed. Some failures have led me to greater things though, so I cannot discount it. This is really making me think about having a therapist review, I've never thought of it before - I only sought therapy at different intervals for depression when I it was rather challenging but never thought about ADHD. I think I need to understand the different attributes of PTSD (which I know I have as a trauma of childhood) and ADHD. I also think I am similar in that I freeze and I have times when I am a massive idea generator like you have described. So many projects I have started and not finished! Like a boater on the lake I leave a bit of wake. cowabunga!
I struggled with this tremendously the last few years to where I was let go from a job after 5 months because I was so overwhelmed & burnt out from the job prior. I also realized how much I HATE the industry I worked in (Recruiting). Haha Thanks for the info, really helpful!!
Had a similar experience in Jan 2022. Got a new full time job in Nov 2022. 4 day home office 1 day office. Previous workplace didn't want to let me go so I stayed parttime. Just started university in Sept 2021. The new full time job suffered and I was let go after 3 months. Almost worked myself to death :(
@@msdimi01 it is far too common. I made a vow to myself, never again will I self-abandon for an employer. I've gained additional awareness to now know when it’s too much. ❤️✨
I am a complete state of overwhelm for weeks now. It’s so bad that I’m not sleeping because I have so much to do. Yet I can’t do anything because I’m too tired to think?! I’ll start on the worksheet tomorrow. I’m so tired of staring at my phone and wallowing in despair.
I need help understanding what is too much work. I feel like the right amount of work for most people is too much for me and then I have a shame spiral. Until recently, I also had a boss who never meaningfully answered my questions or gave me much structure. I would have burning questions and asking him for help just made them burn more. This did so much damage to me over two years. I am trying to recover but it's hard. I'm glad you're here for us.
This channel has helped me so much in the last week I feel the most productive I’ve been in a while just by implementing a few of the strategies (especially for my short term memory) and just overall understanding how my brain works
Wow. I’m not an acronym guy. When I encounter one my response is usually oh, OK, that’s vaguely cute in a lazy intellectually complacent way, I’ll never use it, but I see why it exists. But “STICKS” is totally electrifying. Every step articulates something I deeply experience, and your explanations are as profoundly helpful as they are brilliant. This a tool that already improved my life while listening to your video and watching every idea here resonate with how my mind works. Especially grateful because I have a lot of stuff to do today!!! Woke up very anxious and now have a ton of confidence about it :-)
Can you provide an example of how to find a colleague you trust? It would have to be someone who has your best interest at heart but also must be accepting and understanding of ADHD.
I found some colleagues I trust, just by having honest conversations and watching their reactions. Also, watching for when they show trust IN YOU. Some simply don’t understand ADHD, because they’re not exposed to accurate representations or education on what ADHD really is. (Can’t really fault them for that) The person I trust above all others at my organization falls in this category.
I am so glad I found your channel! This was such a helpful video. You provided so many "aha" moments for me just in this one video. I feel there is hope now! Thank you!!
I absolutely thrilled that I just found your channel 🥹🌻 I finally feel like I’m going to get to embrace my ADHD and have a better life 😊💞 Thank you so much for caring and being here for us 🥰
This is really helpful and I resonate with the STICKS framework for sure. I've hit burnout already, which I thought I was healing last year and I spiraled right back into it. Luckily the one thing it did for me was show me what causes it (isolation and ambiguity) so I'm working with my manager to put me on better projects where I have a larger team and more accountability. Unfortunately because I'm so burnt out, it's still impossible to feel any motivation or have any sort of discipline. I'm realizing why burnout experts claim it takes 3-5 years to fully get out of it. I really feel how slow this process will be to get myself back to my old self. I'm really thankful I came across this channel though for helping me realize exactly how my (recently diagnosed) ADHD is contributing and what factors might help me channel my energy better.
Well said, thank you also for an intelligent posting. We are all smart ADHD’ers😊…we all just need a little encouragement to keep marching forward and to fully realize that all is not hopeless when we have a framework to work within. Also, address your endocrine systems and hormonal levels along with the structural behavior techniques. 🙏🏻 and let God be your guide.
❤ absolutely brilliant Caren, thank you so much for posting this one. Clarity and knowledge if left unchecked I think are major in the contribution towards feelings imposter syndrome and the paralysis for me. And also not knowing if you have the time to do the task(s), the further compounded when the time is lost due to paralysis. I will definitely replay your post when I need help!
9:28 Ambiguity is my KRYTONITE What do I do? Which way? Which way? I want to outsource my executive function. I spend so much time ruminating about WHY. Even HOW. Like watching this. It’s like addiction. When I had a job and there was an accountability framework, in order to manage myself within it, I sometimes made a cube out of business cards, wrote my various priorities/tasks/projects on post-it notes, put six of them on there, then rolled my dice across the floor of my office.
Sometimes I’d roll a “dice” just to have the universe narrow it down. Like, “2 choices. Next ten minutes. (Or 50 minutes, or whatever amount of time you want to risk/invest) Should I think about my infrastructure (self, food, money, resources, home) or should I focus on this abstract long term goal that requires my creativity and intelligence? 1 OR 2? Roll the die. What does the roll tell me? It’s not negotiable.
Yeah. I like using “chance operations” to help me make super small and prosaic decisions. The kind that no one else can help me with. No one. I hand it over to a dice roll.
This is the most validating video I have ever watched about self-improvement. I have brainstormed and thought about all the problems and the solutions you have mentioned. I am glad that I am on the right path.
I'm just so grateful that I find ur video, like... Thank u so much for helping me not drowing😣 I feel like now I can take baby step to clean this mess step by step
Thank you! Nice delivery. Very clear ideas, and I appreciated your writing it down. You have a calming manner about you, like you both understand and accept us. Having a traumatic brain injury exacerbates (rather than exasperates 😊) things even further. I've had ADD since before my TBI, but now executive functioning is really in the toilet. TBI fatigue also really slows things even further. My intentions far exceed my output, but I have to keep reminding myself I'm doing the best that I can in this moment, as I fall further and further behind. Heavy sigh. 😮😮is, Clarity is a biggie for me now, as many things I honestly don't know what to do next (when I used to) especially when it comes to paperwork and trying to develop a new working system that's functional for me. I can't find things, as if I don't see it, it disappears off the planet. Have even taken to taping important papers on the toilet seat as I know I'll see it there... Lol Anyhoos, thank you and blessings to you all!
Thank-you! With the end of fical year I was beginning to feel the stress of work get to me and all of the symptoms of overwhelm. Having finally gotten an ADHD diagnosis two years ago I at least had the good sense to realize that it's ADHD related and walk back some of the catastrophic thinking that was rearing it's head. If I could figure out the right combination of treatment/CBT to use for this it will be huge life-changer, but at least recognizing it for what it is takes off about half of the stress and snowballing negativity associated with it.
I get into a burnout state at times where I don't know why I'm stuck other than feeling like the task is too heavy to get started. Usually around house decluttering or a project that's been dragging on too long. I appreciate "STICKS", I do something like it already, but what a great mnemonic and a good way to plan and structure a solution.
This is where I’m at… every part of my day is spent in “overwhelm.” Except at night when I think the next day will be different…
Darling get on with Dr. Charles, he's popularly known as charlesmyco_
On his Instagram page.
Me too
This happens to me to.
Same
"Ambiguity is ADHDer's kryptonight!" OMG! I never heard anyone say that and it is SOOOOOOO true. I used to have problems with that at work. Whenever there was ambiguous direction in a project I would just freeze, I didn't know what to do at all. My coworker said "just start", and I that made ZERO sense to me. But what happens if you are your own boss and must create fake deadlines and boundaries for yourself? My brain knows I made these constraints up and constantly bipasses them.
In some cases that freezing is reasonable. You don't «just start» a project that's *really* complicated, as there may be sh*tty consequences. You need to think about them first - it's not bad, it's just a byproduct of your mind warning itself.
For the last part about creating fake boundaries/deadlines Idk if this'll work for you, but my cheat is I make a to-do list, and then strike off the next thing needed done as if it's done. Makes me feel obligated to complete it. Sounds silly but works for me!
so if your list is:
-Groceries
-Clean garage
-Laundry
-Dishes
And you plan to do laundry next, strike it thru like you finishednit, then start on it right away. Helps me do things, worth a try😊
I agree, working freelance or being your own boss is very difficult with ADHD. Of you found anything that works please share
Truth, i don't hold myself accountable and no one else will
@@ArheIy what if you don't start can you put that project off at the end of the month you've got 10 of them staring at you that you haven't been able to start that's overwhelm
Important lesson to me: "Failure is not the opposite of success. It's part of it."
Love that !!
Great one
❤❤❤❤❤
At this point in my life, listening to this is overwhelming.
I do something else while I'm trying to focus. It helps. Right now I'm repairing a sweatshirt.
Okay, it's not working. Too many words. WAY too many words. I can't. Sorry.
Do something else while you’re listening to this. 😂 I’m the same way.
IKR!!
i thought so too. it increased my anxiety so much and I kept finding myself fast-forwarding. Too much information. too much fast moving hands. Do any of us need a definititon of overwhelm?!?!? I kept getting distracted by that window in the background in the empty looking room....was it really empty? why was it empty?
Saving this to my Watch Later list because I'm not ready to be in action mode yet 😩
Should watch if you haven’t yet 👀 if you’re anything like me my saved list is a mile long lol
I could remember few years back after my wife died, I was left alone with 3 kids. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Not until a friend recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment changed my life for better. I can proudly say i'm totally clean for 6 years and still counting. Always look to nature for solution to tough problems, Shrooms are phenomenal.
I love hearing great life changing stories like this. I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics. they saved you from death buddy, lets be honest here.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES sure of mycologist Predroshrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, addiction. Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I'm so very happy for you mate, Psilocybin is absolutely amazing, the way it shows you things, the way it teaches you things. I can not believe our world and our people shows less interest about it's helpfulness to humanity. It's love. The mushrooms heals people by showing the truth, it would be so beneficial for so many people, especially politicians and the rich who have lost their way and every other persons out there.
Where do I reach this dude? If possible can I find him on Google
As a person with adhd and cptsd I find myself far more productive when I’m in the middle of complete chaos. It’s brings me a sense of peace. I’m my best when I’m faced with a deadline. And it destroyed me.
omg this is me too 100% - unless its absolute chaos with my business i barely get out of bed :( i have cptsd and i have just booked a psychiatric appointment for adhd testing - suddenly everything is making sense! i have been self isolating for 2 years now with crippling emotional dysregulation and anxiety....i really hope this will help me leave the house...
When this happens to me, i push myself to do one small thing I'm procrastinating. Baby steps, it motivates me.
I tell my friends and take before and after pictures. They encourage me and congratulate me and that’s so important for me.
I’ve been in freeze mode for 4 years. I’m going through a state of profound grief. I constantly look for clarity and reassurance that I’m still the same person and getting better mentally.
There is one thing that helps me have a change of state or a change of mind, and that is taking what I call a “reset break.” I get up from my desk and go get a cup of coffee, go outside for a 10-minute walk, or walk around the office and look out the window if I can’t take a walk outside. Just getting out of my immediate physical space helps me reset. That’s why I’m so much more productive after lunch. 🙂 I’ve had a complete reset away from the office or wherever I’m working.
I can't tell you how much money I have spent on psychologists trying to explain this problem to them. Spoiler alert: they didn't get it and their advice was useless for me.
Not only did you explain what is happening so well that i guarantee that's my problem, but your sticks is such a good problem solver (at least it sounds that way - ill try it out).
You listed a couple reason for feeling this overwhelm that causes people to get stuck but for me, it's housework and daily living tasks like errands, bills, making appointments etc.
I'm very grateful for this video. Thank you
For me it’s giving minimal effort, losing interest in doing things and getting pulled away doing non productive stuff
Yeah I've found ADHD to be a very wide field with a lot of types and thus many solutions that work for some and not for others.
It was easier to just be crazy ronnie than try to explains to a the wanna be hacks
Girllllll I just went into a 2 week freezing procrastination overwhelmed phase with a mini panick attack
Me every day.😂
God Bless you All! Amen!
so happy I was led hear...Adhd and Cptsd really interfere with my daily life
Me too. Either one alone is hard but the two together is completely debilitating. I also have fibromyalgia, chronic pain and fatigue. Yippee! I've been in ADHD paralysis and CPTSD freeze mode all day. I know how to get myself out of the ADHD paralysis but the CPTSD feels impossible. My nervous system is literally screaming that it's not safe to move.
@@sonja7halcyon I hear you ,hard to live this way. no one understands, I'm sorry that you do, I wouldn't wish it on anyone
@@8no1likeme-infinitestar65 💗
@sonja7halcyon same girl except I have lupus. Take care of yourself!!!! I know it's hard but we gotta push through
Unironically: “Resparklize” is my new favorite word and now a permanent part of my life.
Also, I dig your channel and I swear it feels like you made this video for me. Thank you.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:00 😩 *Introduction to ADHD Overwhelm*
- Introduction to the concept of ADHD overwhelm,
- Karen McGill introduces herself as an ADHD coach addressing common feelings of overwhelm,
- Importance of acknowledging feelings of overwhelm in individuals like Emily and providing support.
01:38 🚗 *Overwhelm's Impact and Risk of Burnout*
- Explanation of how prolonged overwhelm can lead to burnout,
- Metaphor of driving a car with the emergency brake on to illustrate the strain of constant overwhelm,
- The danger of not addressing overwhelm leading to burnout.
02:33 📚 *Framework for Addressing Overwhelm*
- Introducing a framework to understand and address overwhelm,
- Importance of clarity on the causes of overwhelm to find solutions,
- The significance of accessing executive function skills to navigate overwhelm effectively.
03:27 🧠 *Nervous System's Role in Overwhelm*
- Explanation of how our nervous system reacts during overwhelm,
- The impact of fight, flight, or freeze responses on accessing executive functions,
- Recognizing and understanding one's nervous system response to address overwhelm effectively.
05:19 📝 *Using the STICKS Framework for Overwhelm*
- Introduction to the STICKS acronym for understanding and addressing overwhelm,
- Breakdown of each letter in the acronym, including State, Thinking, Interest, Clarity, Knowledge, and Structure,
- Emphasis on using the framework as a tool for self-awareness and problem-solving.
06:30 🤔 *Evaluating Emotional and Physical State (STICKS: State)*
- Importance of recognizing one's emotional and physical state during overwhelm,
- Addressing factors like sleep, food, and emotional state as contributors to feeling overwhelmed,
- Strategies to improve emotional regulation through self-awareness.
07:26 💭 *Analyzing Thought Patterns (STICKS: Thinking)*
- Exploration of thought patterns contributing to overwhelm,
- Recognizing limiting beliefs, perfectionism, and negative thought spirals,
- Strategies for neutralizing and reframing thoughts to alleviate overwhelm.
08:37 🎯 *Aligning with Interests (STICKS: Interest)*
- Understanding the role of interest in motivation and task completion,
- Strategies to make tasks more engaging and meaningful,
- Leveraging dopamine and interest-driven approaches to combat overwhelm.
09:31 🕶 *Seeking Clarity in Tasks (STICKS: Clarity)*
- Importance of clarity in defining tasks and expectations,
- Strategies for asking clarifying questions and understanding task objectives,
- Addressing ambiguity as a contributor to overwhelm and seeking clear directives.
11:27 🧰 *Evaluating Skills and Knowledge (STICKS: Knowledge)*
- Assessing one's skills and knowledge in relation to task requirements,
- Encouragement to seek knowledge and resources for skill development,
- Overcoming barriers to task completion through curiosity and learning.
12:49 📅 *Implementing Structure and Boundaries (STICKS: Structure)*
- Emphasis on creating structure through planning, scheduling, and prioritizing,
- Importance of setting boundaries and managing expectations,
- Strategies for organizing tasks, time, and environment to alleviate overwhelm.
Made with HARPA AI
Thank you
Excellent guide -- thank you!!
OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH I was struggling to get through this video
Thank you so much.
You totally rock. Thank you! 🙏
It's the middle of the night i have been putting off studying for HOURS, my exam is at 9am this morning and instead of studying I'm watching this video. LOVE my brain.
State - physical & emotional. Get enough sleep, nutrition, exercise, relax and regulate your emotions.
Thinking - is my fear true or am I making assumptions. Take a few deep breaths. Examine your thoughts.
Interest - spark your curiosity. What is the value or benefit of the task. Get a body double.
Clarity - how should things look, what should I do next...
Knowledge - do I have the right skills to follow through, how to get them, ask questions, what could go wrong.
Structure - to-do list for what, when and how long should be done. Set boundaries on what is possible for you.
This gave me a lot of clarity and structure! Thanks, you showed us pure gold :)
To achieve "the state" with excersize and nutrition, it takes organizing tasks into plans. Anything that takes organization is going to fail for most people with ADHD.
If you are underslept, malnutritioned and lack physical exercise anything will be hard to organize. The advice is on point. Take care of your physical state first. Get enough sleep, take care of what you eat and take a walk or choose any activity you enjoy. It helps with the next steps. Yeah, organisation might be difficult , so help yourself, set reminders, get a buddy for support, make it interesting, etc. Make it a good life ❤
People who don't understand that a disability that makes it almost impossible to organize should stop telling people to "just organize!"
It's like nobody bothered to even look up what ADHD is. Yes, the things you said can help. It's the fact you think ADHD people can "just" do those things that bother me!
We can't sleep, we have insomnia. We can't just excersize, we have executive dysfunction. We can't just eat, we have forgetfullness. Alarms ans sticky notes don't work for all ADHD people because it litteraly becomes background noise to us!!!
The fact that people think ADHD people can "just" do things is ablist as fuck!!! We litterally have to trick ourselves into getting up to do the things we _enjoy_ , wtf do you think adding a whole routine is gonna help!?
PLEASE educate yourself before spouting nonsense! I beg you! ADHD people need help from ADHD people, not from neurotypicals who think a neurotypical routine is going to help 🤮
@@dimitriydashinov You are a horrible person.
Well, I feel like you are being rude to me for no reason. Never did I use the word "just" and debilitated how hard it might be. Also how you concluded I'm neurotypical is beyond me. I'm sorry but hating on people no matter the reason is sad. Seems like no one around is understanding enough of your issues. I hope you'll get all the help needed to feel supported and loved. All the best! ❤
I came across your clip at the right time and am in a similar situation as Emily, feeling like I have done so many things yet accomplished nothing. The project I'm working on is overwhelming me. Your instructions are clear and give me the strength to take a deep breath and sort things out. I'm glad I watched your video. This helps a lot. Thank you
At 54 years old I am finally looking into this. I would move provinces to get away from things. I feel for you Emily. I could have written this exact statement.
Oh my I’m the same I’m about to leave Ontario just to not do my dishes and laundry
I viewed the "overwhelm" as this singular, universal thing and was too focused on trying solutions; which turns out was half the problem. Always assumed it was just "too many things and no structure". This helped me actually get to the root. For me, it's 100% having this perfect ideal of how I want things to go or how they should be; snowballing the frustration and sabotaging. And of course nothing ever felt "right", so no solution could ever work. So eventually I'll freeze and do nothing.
*Even rewrote this comment 20x lol.
Glad to find your content! I've found I keep falling back into the freeze, procrastination, making a big decision, overwhelm loop. Thank you for pointing out likely causes and the best way to tackle it!
Watching this video makes me sink even deeper into my overwhelm. Feeling incapable in every way possible. I'm useless, seemingly can't be helped, and no will to do anything about it. I've been doing therapy, and I just can't make anything happen. I feel despair in everything.
Don’t worry you have a great purpose . You just have to overcome this obstacle . It’s actually somewhat of a gift to be going through this right now , once you crack the code on this and master it , you will see that you are quite useful and you can even help others in this same situation. I’m in the same boat at risk of failing my courses again , but I know that there is a plan for me I couldn’t even imagine a life without purpose I want it so bad . What I can imagine is overcoming this obstacle and seeing a great blessing that came from all of this struggle . Don’t give up keep your hope for the future , I pray often and make sure to keep my faith above all things. I’ve been considering getting medicine maybe for this issue , maybe that’s a route you might have to take just for the moment . Don’t give up God has a plan though you can’t see it yet , have hope .
My house looks like a hoarders house. I was never like this and now I've been struggling for years. Looking around myself at home I want to curl up and hide in a closet. I can't do the simplest thing. I wouldn't let my worst enemy into my house. I'm not a hoarder, everything just got out of hand. This video isn't helping me either. I want to throw everything I own out.
@@MARCIA.ZZZZZZI have the same problem. But only about myself. When it comes to helping others I’m super good. Where do you live? I’d love to come help you! Because I wish someone could help me and there’s no one and I just feel despair. But helping others motivates me somehow.
I feel the same way 😰😩😩😩 I feel so incapable too 💔
Thank you for making me feel less crazy 😭
Wow! This is why I “froze” when faced with my mom’s cluttered apartment when I had to move her to a nursing home. Never been diagnosed with ADHD but this totally explains why my 2 cousins were able to thankfully swoop in and help me and I was unable to do much. The clutter, the stress, the exhaustion all added up to overwhelm.
The situation alone is 'freezing' worthy! Hope you're all doing well. :)
I have to watch this video again because I zoned out lol, but I wanted to comment and say I love the word re-sparklize. Lol
I've never had anything that I could do, even with decades of therapy, that allowed me to get myself unfrozen and out of an expectation talespin. This video is life.
This video made me feel overwhelmed. I couldn’t process all the information. Back to square 1
Same. It was totally ridiculous. At every speed I listened to it. Kind of aggravating. So much blah blah blah in such a harsh annoying way. Plus an acronym. I hate acronyms for stuff like this. Not helpful at all. 😢
@mygoogle7320 IKR?! But I really hate acronyms… jk jk. Was I overreacting? I can’t watch the video again to find out. Lol.
This was great! My son, who is in high school, is having an overwhelming response to trying to organize and accomplish his work. It is so stressful for all of us and disheartening to see him hobbled by executive function issues. He’s such a bright, amazing person whose brain doesn’t easily succeed in this neurotypical world of school. I Can see him already limiting his beliefs of who he thinks he can be. I feel like I need a PhD in psychology to parent this kid.
Oh my gosh! Your post really touched my heart. It’s great to see that you’re such a caring parent. Just keep on supporting him and his beliefs and letting him know that he does not have to be main stream. ❤️
I feel this 😢 same
ditto!!! same here!!!!!!!
The fact that you're actively seeking out different ways to potentially help him makes you an amazing parent.
@@ameliarose47 thank you for your kind reassurance.
When you have managed to “overwhelm” yourself with so many resources that you have no idea if you have signed up for Caren’s email list or not…who am I kidding? “You” is me! 😂
LOL - I can relate
@@CarenMagillhi may help me pls got Sam
I got overwhelmed as well lot know of Kim yes pls
On the button!
YES
Experiencing the same with my studying last year or two.
Do enjoy the comparison to the car engine with lacking maintenance.
Working on cars a hobby for me, what made me realise I have to do some "maintenance" to myself to function as well. (Before my diagnoses)
Always liked maintaining things, everything besides myself ironically.
Learned that I can't just try and push through, calling myself lazy and stupid when I fall behind or put too unrealistic targets for myself, from the all or nothing mentality. But rather look at the problems, one by one, give myself recovery time and sleep, fresh air and recovery I need. It's always an uphill battle, but pscyhoeducation sure makes it all a lot more realistically doable.
I really appreciate the approach you have towards encouraging adults with ADHD. I really dislike the infantilization of adults with ADHD and using having a differently wired brain as an excuse to not act like an adult or avoid adult conversations; I feel I can do the thing !! Dare I say all the things !!
This video came at exactly the right time! Moving, starting a business, and applying for my citizenship - it's a bit nuts. I started freezing up a couple of days ago and the stress of it all was making me so tired. I'm going to work through this today. You're the best!! Seriously, thank you!!
Glad it was helpful! Good luck!!
This is EXACTLY what I needed today. I have been stuck in overwhelm for about the past 10 years, with the occasional moment of clarity. I’m about to tackle my day with some STICKS. 😉
I am so grateful to find your channel today! Lightbulb moments galore! ❤❤❤
I can't even get through this video 😭
That's because she took long time to get to the point...
@@sasimaarika14 its only 15 min though
@@Hans-j5c yea still i lose patience if people dont get to the point sooner.
Same. And I didn't finish 😢
Too stressful
I can’t believe all I’m hearing and seeing I was always so hard on my self my family always without knowing putting me down I couldn’t stay in a job more than 1 or 2 years getting depress and didn’t realize I had a problem until now and I just turn 30 years old . I found out studding for real estate and having an amazing boss and work and I had to quit loving my job being so overwhelm what it to do everything and no completing things. I couldn’t make a excuse like before saying bad boss work environment being toxic. Being in a job that I love and me reacting the way I did made me thing and search and then is when I found what ADHD was. Seeing all this people going threw the same thing or similar situation I thought I was the only one. Everything happen for a reason if I don’t had this job a had I wouldn’t had know what was going on .
You're a natural teacher. So much energy and enthusiasm. by the way, when I worked in the office around 2010 the decided it was a good idea to get rid of cubicles and have everyone sit next to each other in a giant room with computers a foot away from each other. It was a true nightmare for an ADHD person. But no one at work even considers these things. They don't create work environments for neurodivergent people.
Oh man - I had to do that for a while. It was the WORST!!!!!
You are friggin hilarious! I ❤it! Subscribed! I just uncovered ADHD in my life...sadly, so late in life!
Wow, I can resonate with every single word, both in terms of the stated problem as well as potential solution, as i suffered from pretty much same situation for years which eventually led to / contributed to severe depression and Corona- and home office-induced social anxiety. I began therapy a year ago and was ADHD diagnosed 6 months ago. This enabled me to realize first time in my life that I'm not a lazy, disorganized, parasitic and unworthy piece of s**t (thanks to my narcissistic father). Instead, i began to understand that a better life is possible and that i can take up responsibility for my future self while i'm not at fault or personally guilty or to be ashamed for my past. Sense of shame and guilt remains a huge challenge for me, often getting in my way to successfully adopt and evolve the systems we need to deal and eventually thrive with our ADHD.
This video, dear Caren, has wonderfully expressed in a crisp and comprehensive way some of my raw thoughts and learnings about dealing with overwhelm, you have given words to those immature thoughts of mine. ❤❤❤
This is so relatable. Thank you for posting this! I literally get so stressed because I’m a master-procrastenator, and always fall behind and have to play catch-up with courses because I get so overwhelmed and I just get paralized and end up not doing anything. This vid was so helpful with maintaing awareness, which I think is vital to start the process of remeding paralysis. Thanks again!
Wow. This sounds like me. I've not be diagnosed but keep hearing symptoms that match up with me.
I love how clean your house is😢 mine is an absolute disaster, not gross, but I have boxes here, art stuff there, christmas decor still out, ect. But i see everything i need to do and freeze up with overwhelm. I am not adhd, I am Bipolar2 with executive dysfunction. But still it makes me want to cry, because myeds either balance my mood, or boost my productivity, there is no in between balance.. anytime i am in productivity mode from meds, i tend to lean into mania. So i haven't pursued meds for the executive dysfunction since. 😢😢 i just want to function and not cry the whole time.
OMGe, thank you. I have been in freeze mode. I love what you have shared. Thank you!
Man, my issue is a mix of overcommitting and too much to do. But a huge amount of my overcommitting has been projects to forever reduce the workload I’m facing. Issue being, now I’m a burnt husk who can’t do anything anymore anyway
10:30 whoa I did not need this personal call out in front of everyone lmao
This is excellent content. I am undiagnosed (can't afford assessment) & currently under a mountain of undone work. I have been struggling and I think the big thinking / anxiety piece is important. It's hard to work well with 'I'm about to get fired' playing in the background. Because my work as backed up, I have found the to-do list itself overwhelming. It usually triggers the freeze - I work from home and am drawn to anything sparkly/ stimulating for a boost, news and current affairs is a big one. This list was helpful though, I feel much calmer now, the first step being stop playing the 'I'm about to be fired' theme song... if I am, I am and worrying isn't going to help. Thank you
Agreed
Many times, we worry about things that never happen.
When my job was like this, I spent a bunch of time on making systems for myself. Sometimes my favorite “system” was introducing a random operation to “TELL ME” what to do.
You can always figure out a way to ask yes or no question of a dice roll, or card draw, or opening a book and pointing. I’ve found that my subconscious mind will help make it clear IF I LET IT.
I can relate to that I’m going get fired song
This video is a life changer - I’m feeling overwhelmed right now
Wow wow!!! It's the first time here at your channel. The way you explain the steps with the acronym, the questions you use to give me guidance and your overall personality are wonderful. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!❤ You have gained a new subscriber. Looking forward to watch more videos
watched video July 12 2023-Caren really has taken off on her excellent instructional videos. I learn SO MUCH AND GAIN PEACE FROM THEM. thank-you Caren !!!!- your student Deborah
thanks, Deborah!
This video felt like a gift from the Universe. Thank you for all the wonderful insights and tips. I
The “clarity” example you gave is so me! I’m working on getting ahead of that but keep repeating the same mistake of going down that rabbit hole. I have to keep reminding myself to stop and ask for clarification.
pretty good advice, and while the one about jobs SHOULD work, I've never seen it actually work in practice. I've had a couple different corporate office jobs that were filled to the brim with meetings. Entire departments approached the powers that be and explained to them just how much time all the silly little meetings were taking and basically asked the same question. "Do you want us to sit in meetings or do you want us to get work done?"
The answer was "both".
I've even approached management on my own before and explained that you can't do 12 hours of work in a 8 hours shift. Their answer has always been "well you better figure out a way". I know it's really not what the video is about, but man, makes my blood boil.
omg I am so glad I found this channel have been feeling like my mind just has multiple personalities with careers, with my spirit, even with my heart and it is because I try to take on all the things that interest me this definitely speaks my language and makes me understand myself a lot better
It just occurred to me I was better at Self Regulation before I moved back in with my mother(we're 41 and 72). But also hearing stories i'm better at giving advice than tsking it.
Same
I get ADHD Paralysis all the time! It sucks!
It does. I actually can’t work due to a lifetime of bullying in primary, secondary and tertiary education and in the workplace I’m on disability support
❤ 😊 *** Please keep 🙏 looking at these Great Videos 😊 * they are so very Helpful!
@@Dancestar1981
A lifetime of bullying as the reason you can’t work sounds like massive insecurity and excuse making
@@bperez8656 it isn’t it’s real discrimination at its highest
@@bperez8656 said the bully. Jesus. Way to victim shame and blame.
I was always in fight mode never flight but I’m in freeze mode for almost two years 😒
me too 😢
Good video.
One thing I do if I'm in a "one person department" situation is write down everything that has to happen and then organize it into a timeline. Allowing for scheduling conflicts, prerequisite items, special circumstances.
Then I make a schedule and only look at a small chunk of time at once. Go from task to task. And the second one doesn't exist until the first is accomplished.
This works out best if you don't have a hard deadline, but it does work, for me.
Hey, great video! I feel overwhelmed all the time since forever and after watching this I can finally understand why, so thank you!
Btw I love the way you talk about topics and I always feel hope after watching them, while watching other channels give me the opposite effect, since they generally only say stuff like "your brain is just like that, good luck". On the other hand, your content really helps to understand how these situations occur and give tools to deal with them, which I appreciate a lot. So again, thank you!
I’m a new subscriber, listening through your videos while I take care of tasks. It’s motivating and your advice is so logical. This channel was a great find. Thank you for what you do :)
I’ll listen to some a few times so they sink in.
I have no diagnosis of ADHD, and I have hardly looked into it. But I am more or less in a functional freeze state for the last 4 years and everything you explained is my situation to the T. Thank you so much! I feel grateful to have come across this video.
Thank you so much, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed for a while and have been watching a bunch I’m of videos, but this one really helped me clarify things and realise the root of my problem, a lack of structure
Every parent should watch this, even parents who don’t have kids with ADHD. Thank you very much.
This is such a real issue, I have a brand new dream job and for the life of me I can’t seem to get there on time!!! It’s so frustrating because I know this is really bugging people I work with
Same...I live 6min away😢
feeling so stuck because im in between jobs and i need to register for classes next semester but because its summer i feel like im in a floaty limbo part of my life and it makes absolutely everything impossible to do i just keep sleeping the time away because i feel so overwhelmed and this is an incredible video that is making me feel so heard and validated and now i know i am capable of literally anything!! I just need to have some boundaries and structure set up for myself! Thank you so much!
I just needed to say I LOVE YOUR SHIRT - Toronto vs. Everyone!!! love it!
I just found your channel Oh my goodness you speak to so much of what I experience! So helpful to hear, I've never been diagnosed, but I am a trauma survivor (like so many) and freeze mode was my way to survive. Now as a 53 yr old woman I find I have had multiple coping mechanisms for my life to date. I have built some systems to help, but sometimes even those have failed. Some failures have led me to greater things though, so I cannot discount it. This is really making me think about having a therapist review, I've never thought of it before - I only sought therapy at different intervals for depression when I it was rather challenging but never thought about ADHD. I think I need to understand the different attributes of PTSD (which I know I have as a trauma of childhood) and ADHD. I also think I am similar in that I freeze and I have times when I am a massive idea generator like you have described. So many projects I have started and not finished! Like a boater on the lake I leave a bit of wake. cowabunga!
I struggled with this tremendously the last few years to where I was let go from a job after 5 months because I was so overwhelmed & burnt out from the job prior. I also realized how much I HATE the industry I worked in (Recruiting). Haha
Thanks for the info, really helpful!!
So very sorry that you lost your job. I sure hope that you found something that fits your interest.
Had a similar experience in Jan 2022. Got a new full time job in Nov 2022. 4 day home office 1 day office. Previous workplace didn't want to let me go so I stayed parttime. Just started university in Sept 2021. The new full time job suffered and I was let go after 3 months. Almost worked myself to death :(
@@msdimi01 it is far too common. I made a vow to myself, never again will I self-abandon for an employer. I've gained additional awareness to now know when it’s too much. ❤️✨
I am a complete state of overwhelm for weeks now. It’s so bad that I’m not sleeping because I have so much to do.
Yet I can’t do anything because I’m too tired to think?! I’ll start on the worksheet tomorrow. I’m so tired of staring at my phone and wallowing in despair.
I needed this. Today was a three meeting day and I'm sitting in the dark trying to recuperate! This gave me language.
What does done look like?
Such a good question.
I am swamped with “Tasks” and yet I have not examined what life looks like when it’s done
I agree and would really appreciate more detail on this?
What does “done” look like? So perfectly worded for us in the same swirl ❤
I need help understanding what is too much work. I feel like the right amount of work for most people is too much for me and then I have a shame spiral.
Until recently, I also had a boss who never meaningfully answered my questions or gave me much structure. I would have burning questions and asking him for help just made them burn more. This did so much damage to me over two years. I am trying to recover but it's hard. I'm glad you're here for us.
This channel has helped me so much in the last week I feel the most productive I’ve been in a while just by implementing a few of the strategies (especially for my short term memory) and just overall understanding how my brain works
Wow. I’m not an acronym guy. When I encounter one my response is usually oh, OK, that’s vaguely cute in a lazy intellectually complacent way, I’ll never use it, but I see why it exists. But “STICKS” is totally electrifying. Every step articulates something I deeply experience, and your explanations are as profoundly helpful as they are brilliant. This a tool that already improved my life while listening to your video and watching every idea here resonate with how my mind works. Especially grateful because I have a lot of stuff to do today!!! Woke up very anxious and now have a ton of confidence about it :-)
Can you provide an example of how to find a colleague you trust? It would have to be someone who has your best interest at heart but also must be accepting and understanding of ADHD.
I found some colleagues I trust, just by having honest conversations and watching their reactions. Also, watching for when they show trust IN YOU.
Some simply don’t understand ADHD, because they’re not exposed to accurate representations or education on what ADHD really is. (Can’t really fault them for that)
The person I trust above all others at my organization falls in this category.
This is Fire!!! I do not have ADHD - & this is extremely helpful
I think avoiding the thing that is causing overwhelm due to emotional dysregulation is something that could be mentioned to. Just subbed. Thank you!
I am so glad I found your channel! This was such a helpful video. You provided so many "aha" moments for me just in this one video. I feel there is hope now! Thank you!!
I feel understood! These solutions makes sense for “my brain”! (Unlike other videos on procrastination) The handouts are awesome!
Glad it's helpful!
I absolutely thrilled that I just found your channel 🥹🌻 I finally feel like I’m going to get to embrace my ADHD and have a better life 😊💞 Thank you so much for caring and being here for us 🥰
This is really helpful and I resonate with the STICKS framework for sure. I've hit burnout already, which I thought I was healing last year and I spiraled right back into it. Luckily the one thing it did for me was show me what causes it (isolation and ambiguity) so I'm working with my manager to put me on better projects where I have a larger team and more accountability. Unfortunately because I'm so burnt out, it's still impossible to feel any motivation or have any sort of discipline. I'm realizing why burnout experts claim it takes 3-5 years to fully get out of it. I really feel how slow this process will be to get myself back to my old self. I'm really thankful I came across this channel though for helping me realize exactly how my (recently diagnosed) ADHD is contributing and what factors might help me channel my energy better.
Glad it's helpful!
I feel exactly like you. Wow. Thank you posting it.
Well said, thank you also for an intelligent posting. We are all smart ADHD’ers😊…we all just need a little encouragement to keep marching forward and to fully realize that all is not hopeless when we have a framework to work within. Also, address your endocrine systems and hormonal levels along with the structural behavior techniques. 🙏🏻 and let God be your guide.
Thank you, thank you, ty!
I need so much structure. Gbless you. 🙌🏻👑👼🏼♥️
❤ absolutely brilliant Caren, thank you so much for posting this one. Clarity and knowledge if left unchecked I think are major in the contribution towards feelings imposter syndrome and the paralysis for me. And also not knowing if you have the time to do the task(s), the further compounded when the time is lost due to paralysis. I will definitely replay your post when I need help!
9:28 Ambiguity is my KRYTONITE
What do I do? Which way? Which way?
I want to outsource my executive function.
I spend so much time ruminating about WHY. Even HOW. Like watching this. It’s like addiction.
When I had a job and there was an accountability framework, in order to manage myself within it, I sometimes made a cube out of business cards, wrote my various priorities/tasks/projects on post-it notes, put six of them on there, then rolled my dice across the floor of my office.
Sometimes I’d roll a “dice” just to have the universe narrow it down. Like, “2 choices. Next ten minutes. (Or 50 minutes, or whatever amount of time you want to risk/invest) Should I think about my infrastructure (self, food, money, resources, home) or should I focus on this abstract long term goal that requires my creativity and intelligence? 1 OR 2? Roll the die. What does the roll tell me? It’s not negotiable.
Yeah. I like using “chance operations” to help me make super small and prosaic decisions. The kind that no one else can help me with. No one.
I hand it over to a dice roll.
🤣👍
@@kmcq692 I like random number generators, pendulums, tarot cards and chinese Yijing divination. 😅
This is the most validating video I have ever watched about self-improvement. I have brainstormed and thought about all the problems and the solutions you have mentioned. I am glad that I am on the right path.
Ty. You just brought a lot of clarity into the world of ADHD.
I'm just so grateful that I find ur video, like... Thank u so much for helping me not drowing😣 I feel like now I can take baby step to clean this mess step by step
This channel should have much-much more views and subscribers!
Thank you so much for this. I always wondered what I could do to I prove my overwhelm
This is great! Thank you for breaking this down.
Just found this channel, and I love it. These are useful tips for just about anyone, regardless if they have an ADHD diagnosis. Thank you!
Thank you! Nice delivery. Very clear ideas, and I appreciated your writing it down. You have a calming manner about you, like you both understand and accept us.
Having a traumatic brain injury exacerbates (rather than exasperates 😊) things even further. I've had ADD since before my TBI, but now executive functioning is really in the toilet. TBI fatigue also really slows things even further. My intentions far exceed my output, but I have to keep reminding myself I'm doing the best that I can in this moment, as I fall further and further behind. Heavy sigh. 😮😮is,
Clarity is a biggie for me now, as many things I honestly don't know what to do next (when I used to) especially when it comes to paperwork and trying to develop a new working system that's functional for me. I can't find things, as if I don't see it, it disappears off the planet. Have even taken to taping important papers on the toilet seat as I know I'll see it there... Lol
Anyhoos, thank you and blessings to you all!
Really enjoying your content as an adult that has struggled all my life. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and positivity.
You’re amazing, I feel so validated
Thank-you! With the end of fical year I was beginning to feel the stress of work get to me and all of the symptoms of overwhelm. Having finally gotten an ADHD diagnosis two years ago I at least had the good sense to realize that it's ADHD related and walk back some of the catastrophic thinking that was rearing it's head. If I could figure out the right combination of treatment/CBT to use for this it will be huge life-changer, but at least recognizing it for what it is takes off about half of the stress and snowballing negativity associated with it.
I get into a burnout state at times where I don't know why I'm stuck other than feeling like the task is too heavy to get started. Usually around house decluttering or a project that's been dragging on too long. I appreciate "STICKS", I do something like it already, but what a great mnemonic and a good way to plan and structure a solution.
WOW!!!!! Thank you!!!! I didn’t know this was a thing. I have been frozen for weeks and I feel like I’ve already passed crazy. ❤
you are amazinggggggg , you have cleared everything i have been deeling with
for months now
Interesting tips I’ll be surely using them to prevent the overwhelming feeling from causing me more struggles
Omg. I'm not alone!!!
Nope! I’m right there with you, and it looks like we’re in good company 🩵
Is stück in my sofa for 9 months and is surposed to seek a new job - Next month I have no money and I dont what to do ❗️
Oh man - same. I hear you.
❤❤❤ to both of you
Same 😂 good thing we don't live forever
This is the perfect video that described everything I'm currently going through - thank you for validating my experience and for the great coaching.