It ruins you. It's not worth it. People don't like you any more because of it. Share as little as you can. If they aren't hanging out with you when you're not at work it's not worth it. Work is boring. But it's work. It's not time with your friends
Do. Not. Tell. Your. Coworkers. Anything. Personal. Keep your answers light and even vague. Keep your cards to your chest. Keep your emotions in check and keep your feelings about certain folk to yourself.
This all sounds like great advice if you want to spend your whole life emotionally crippled. We spend most of our adult lives at work. Learning how to express emotions and build friendships in a way that’s still professional is an essential long term mental health skill.
I know someone who got fired because their coworkers found out where they lived….and complained that this person lived in luxury house and therefore was being paid too much! People are really evil out there..👿
@@Goodnightplutolagoon I don’t feed trolls 🧌 but I’ll give you a crumb are because you obviously have been living under a bridge or a rock to come with such an ignorant response.
Let's be real. Some people in the workplace are miserable and jealous. If you stay to yourself, they say you're a mean girl. I refuse to work in a office again.
They find any reason to dislike you but I’ve noticed that the ones who focus more on the job & less on gossip end up get promoted & work in higher positions.
wow, you read my mind. there should be a class that teaches people that being jealous is ridiculous. Whenever i think of jealousy and rumors i remember Monica Seles being railroaded from a jerk in the audience.
Some things I've learned working is you DON'T have friends at work... you could be nice and everything but don't trust nobody. Don't share nothing about your personal life. Exactly as she said don't complain about anything anybody nothing zero... Don't talk about nobody DONT DO NOT GOSSIP if a coworker comes with gossip ignore if they complain just ignore... you could be nice but don't say nothing that may be used against you. Do not have coworkers on fb Instagram or anywhere And don't write text messages that could be used against you Example omg I hate this manager ect ect... thinking that person is your friend Go work get paid and leave
I work with people who constantly pump me for information. They gossip about everything. And I can sense they get rather frustrated by my vague answers. And the money thing is so true! I recently purchased a new car, and I didn’t realize what a buzz that ended up causing at work. Even though my car was an econo car,purchased to save money on gas. Same with clothing…I have a couple jackets that have labels. And a lady I work with pointed out I only wear jackets with labels.I told her the truth that I’m a thrifter and I never pay full price for items and that she could have the same stuff. But I believe I will take your advice and just wear no labels to avoid any further issues. Sometimes I want to move up in the mountains far away from people. Lol!
Companies wonder why people do not want to go back to the office. It is really none of their business about your personal life, you are there to perform a job and bring value to the company. I used to work with people that always complained about money, then I noticed their spending habits. Always bought coffee, and lunch and never brought lunch from home. At the end of the week, those things add up, just multiply that times 52!
I overshared info with my colleague personal and general ambitions he used all against me till I decided to resign and get another job, never trust anyone at work and keep silent, work and go home never even act that you know anything about work or act smart, jealousssssy👿
Regarding the designer bags - working in the fashion industry is also an exception to the rule. In fact, it’s encouraged in the fashion industry to have the latest luxury items. The rule of thumb is this - your coworkers are NOT your friends. You can be friends with them AFTER you leave the company, but while they’re your coworkers, keep your mouth shut about the deep, dark details of your personal life, your feelings, and your hopes and dreams.
Honestly, I never attend any happy hour or social events for work. I know it makes me sound anti-social. But, I prefer to keep work relationships at work and personal relationships personal. I think it's ok to not attend those because you're not obligated to spend time with them outside of work hours. Just clock in, do your job and leave at the end of the day.
I wish i could do that. My company (read biggest pharma in the world today: *******s) forces employees to attend these weekly "fun n games quizes" , quarterly 1-week "fun n games" thing. Every dept looks ridiculous. I even see rooms where people are dancing and singing, lying on the floor playing babies!! Gosh! I mean you want us to sing and dance now just to get paid!!!
I'd love to do that but if I don't have a legitimate reason why I can't attend the monthly office brunches when I'm already at work, I'm going to end up being the bad guy. I have to attend.
I avoid all 5 when working at the office( now working from home 🙏) I still do not interacting with coworkers email , messaging or via Team etc. I keep my distance at all time. Yes because I am afraid of the gossiping and I want to keep my good reputation. People can put words in your mouth. I never ones like to go out with my coworkers that's a no no for me I know better. People tells me all the time I am a mystery lol. I tell them and "I like to keep it that way" lol. Clock in clock out. Always works and I'm happier that way.
I SOO WANT TO BE LIKE YOU!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤ started a new job and I feel bad already because I like music and feel really dumb cuz I feel like me recommending or talking about bands makes me introuble. 😞😞😞😞 I recommend to my manager and co workers, but my coworker said why are you recommending it to MXxxx who is the manager. 😢
I deal with a complainer on one of my jobs. Major red flag. I tell her NOTHING about my life apart from very banal remarks on what I cooked for dinner or a place I visited recently. I refuse to give her any ammunition, she has no loyalty and I will not let her be the one to throw me under the bus.
I have heard that work can be heaven when your home life is horrible. You never know what getting out of the house or even going to work can do for you.
It's early Jennifer .. One should be weary of yapping to much at work. If in doubt , zip 🤫 it. Got a complaint ? Save it for the dog 🐕 when you get home. Off to vote 🗳 ..
I just hate there are so many social rules. Like you’re 100% right about it but I just feel like it makes me hate people for being so judgmental. But I have to remember everyone judges, including me.
I’m so glad you included the value of playing office politics. It’s actually about how you master relationships. And relationships are the lifeblood of both work and life. Usually people who complain about it are those who are fearful of letting down their guard, asking for help, understanding that your boss is people too.
Yeah you have to read people well and discern if you need to be understanding, co operable, distant and finding those you can trust and build with in the work place.
The worse thing at work is jealous and envy. It is people wanting what you have got in life. It is about they wanting you NOT HAVING IT. They don't try to study or work as hard as you to be there you are. But they will do their best to sabotage your possibility to get what you deserve for your efforts.
I love your take on office politics. It's a sticky subject, for sure. There's a right and wrong way to go about it. I think success lies in being honest, helpful, and hungry.
I have worked with a lot of older Gen X/Boomers and I find these generations take a HUGE offense if you don’t share any detail about your personal life. They think you’re unprofessional if you don’t engage in small talk and tell them general details of my personal life.
As a millennial, I completely agree. I was at one job where I brought up small, superficial stuff on my personal life but did not want to go into it with my dreams, goals, family and they judged me and looked at me as weird. The profession I used to be in thrived on mean girl gossip and drama. Friends today, enemy tomorrow. It’s sad to hear that that’s how they saw me but at least I wasn’t part of any drama or attacks
That's weird , I'm 57 and find the exact opposite. I'm the one ostracized from the young generation because I don't talk about my life or share anything about it on social media. 🤔
I’m Gen X and I’m the total opposite. I don’t care about your personal life and I don’t disclose mine. I don’t do social media and I don’t hang out with my coworkers after work. I don’t go to work to make friends.
I agree with walk in beauty and MJ Bankhead. Millenials and Zoomers are the worst with this for me. I go to work TO WORK. I don't care about who said what on Twitter. I don't care about TikTok. I don't care how "woke" you all are. I don't want to go drink with you all afterwards. I just want to clock in , do my tasks, then go straight home and chill with my family. But they get overly triggered when I don't pay them any attention or care for office drama/gossip.
Another excellent video. I don't overshare or wear expensive clothes but I have to make a mental note of not complaining and watch your video you recommended at the end.
The not complaining is a big. Not only does it shape how you're perceived, it will shift your experience (and I say this as someone who is naturally a complainer lol)
Awesome video! Something I just want to warn others of is to be careful of what you post online. It can also become gossip fodder in your workplace, especially if you have coworkers added.
So true. I'd hear coworkers criticizing another coworker's IG all the time during lunch. You'd think adults would be more mature but they're not. My best advice don't add anyone from work and keep your social media private. It's not worth it!
Never ask personal questions about finances. Had a coworker ask me all kinds of questions and got offended when I told him it was none of his business.
Some one at my brother work came in and gloating about how he inherited 6 figures after his nan died. Of course they had no problem trying to get him fired. If you make people feel inferior they will punish you for it, sometimes severely.
It's lovely that person's loved one left them money, and that provided some comfort - but gloating about anything is not a good look. This is also why I love the idea of being open and talking candidly about money, but we also need to acknowledge other people are weird AF about money and when that transparency is gonna bite you (IMHO bragging about money never works out for people).
You should never brag about any type of money except your salary at your job Never brag about investing, saving money, if you own or rent, always share the absolute minimum I would only share hobbies and job related topics
Wow! They tried to get someone fired because he was gloating? I get that having to listen to a braggart is annoying but is showing off a sackable offence? Unless his work was subpar also... 🤷♀
I hope your brother learned that you should never brag. This sh*t is annoying. You will never get any positive emotions with this. People either don't care or hate you.
Even if he didn’t gloat, but rather confided in a couple of trusted friends, it’s just too risky. People are jealous. When I achieved financial independence (my investment income exceeded my take-home pay) I kept my mouth shut. When my paid-off car that was in brand-new condition was totaled and I paid cash to replace it, I lied and lamented that I had a big car payment again. Never let people know you’re in a good position.
Great video. I wish I knew this months ago. I dress up because I have severe anxiety. So yes, I wear heels and love my Chanel earrings. I noticed the stares… then came the emails documenting every conversation, finally, probationary termination(to avoid any explanation on their end). It’s been a punch in the gut but also liberating. My field was academia. No after work happy hours for us , just huge EGOS.
I watched this entire video on my 15 minute break at work while walking a full mile around the store in 15 and a half minutes and I definitely feel refreshed and energized after watching the video!
This lady makes the best videos!!!!!! In addition to not flashing logos…. Actually present the image of being less fortunate. What I’ve noticed is that promotions and raises are given based on the subjective idea of need and not performance. An excellent performing well dressed person with designer clothes and accessories is LESS likely to get a bonus or a raise, than a poor performing employee who management assumes NEEDS the money.
Especially alcohol. I read in Forbes that is one reason why around Christmas time many people get fired. People will sometimes get lit up at things like this and will say things they usually will not say when sober. I have witnessed this twice in the past
All of these are 💯 the oversharing bit me hard. I was in a casual morning coffee conversation at a job I was relatively new at, and mentioned my family had gone to Hawaii. By lunch I was known as "bougie". It's sad but people will draw up their own perceptions of you and the less you say the better off you will be.
Never let an employer know how “hungry” you are. Personal tastes, cost of living, etc. This knowledge is power over you. Employers love desperate people. Especially commission based sales environments. I’ll never go out for drinks with coworkers either. Unless it’s to not drink and just listen to loose lips lol. Coworkers are not your friends protecting THEIR livelihood will always be their priority. I can count all the coworkers I would consider friends on one hand after nearly 30 years in the workforce.
I avoid drinking, especially at the company holiday party. I've had coworkers and bosses get lit up and do all kinds of embarrassing things. Everything from racial slurs, drunken hookups, hitting on someone's spouse/significant other, and other stupid stuff.
Good advise tough this is oriented to USA working culture. In Europe we tend to be more neutral and empathic towards others. I had some USA working colleges and they are extremely competitive. Of course can t generalise, but I think it tends to be so.
I am in Europe and unfortunately for me it’s just like USA culture. It is not safe to share anything personal, or say how you really feel about that coworker or manager, just don’t do it!!
Not just logos, but also with being seen eating take out a lot. I enjoy buying my food somewhere rather than hauling a lunch bag and having random things, like utensils, stolen by sticky fingers some co-workers have. Except when I was working in fast food, every job I've had there would always be someone making remarks about me spending money on my lunches, making speculations, asking me how I'm able to afford it, as if it's their business. One lady, as she was leaving, said "Well I guess you can eat but not your daughter." Like... WTF?! So, then I went to the managers and had that little discussion. She came up to me after she was spoken to apologizing.
@@JenniferBrick As you said, it depends on 'who' you share with! I have made it a point to NOT share other peoples gossip, with the team. Good side is: people respect me more, and they realize i'm not trying to play the games. The down side is: I then become the sounding board for all others unhappy life experiences!
Yes I very much agree with this. I work in the arts and while most ppl are very happy to hear about my new creations (cosplay) I have seen that if cost ends up slipping out, ppl get weird. Even if its something you have worked very hard to put together ect. Rule of thumb I've been learning just don't talk money or cost of things around coworkers.
My question is how to remain so creative, open minded and an enthusiastic learner when a lot of negative politics is going around you? Even its psychologically proven that dirty politics and creativity can't stay at the same place..
I think the not complaining part is the one allowing negativity. There should always be a point when you need to speak out at the right time. Let’s face it, toxic office culture is now the trend. Either join the band or quit. For toxic people, there’s no such thing as meeting halfway. It should always be what they want. Period.
Also wondered about that, if there is a valid reason to complain, why should anyone keep their mouth shut? Nothing will change by not addressing a problem, and the coworker worth complaining about will get away with it. If I am not allowed to address such negative topics, am I supposed to quit my job instead to avoid enduring whatever uncomftable situation?
Maybe she means don’t talk negatively about people at work or gossip. It seems unrealistic to not complain. Because there are challenges at the job or there is miscommunication or things not being done etc.
For someone who really wants to re-enter the corporate world after 4 years in a crappy local small business, your videos are very helpful! I don't know how I could re-enter the corporate world after such a long break, pray for me :))
As our virtual training sessions always ask at the r conclusions, "we received this information when we really needed it" especially about drinking with higher-ups, holiday parties and so on...Always a refreshing necessary reminder of what to do to feel most comfortable at work.
Happy Hours are borderline mandatory in my office. You can miss one or two but beyond that people will start to talk smack. Even if you wanted nothing more than to remain above the fray. I usually fill my beer bottle with water and cut out after a few rounds. Not perfect, but keeps the boo birds at bay.
Wow. This is actually pretty good. I was expecting some schmaltzy keep your chin up, don't fish off the office pier etc bollocks but your advice is pretty thoughtful. Not complaining is all important for me. It's a fucking job, you walk out door at 5pm so you can hang on a bit and find a big fat shoulder to cry on somewhere. Just not at work. Plus - and this is a bit of a revelation for me is keeping a slight detachment from what's going on around you. Not zero shits, just one or two less than you normally give. That works.
I work in HR and have worked hard to normalize dry events, or always provide a featured non-alcoholic option like Kombucha, punch, etc. That way the non-drinkers don't feel excluded and they get something special. It really helps those on the fence about drinking at work make better choices too I think This year we also promoted Dry January and wellness with yoga classes, healthy cooking class, fitness challenge, etc.
I use to do the opposite to everything this channel says not to do, it was fun, we all made mistakes, took responsibility for our own actions, made fools of ourselves sometimes but for the most part it was fun. Now the work place is a woke sad hell hole, that is why I will never set foot back in the woke office space, I now live work remotely. Stupid rules and laws killed fun.
Agree. And many of those co-workers who had fun alongside me, and had a sense of humour while still being good workers are still friends outside of work to this day. Not all of it was toxic.
I had a job for 13 years. The last 3 years there were terrible, lots of changes we were forced to adapt to. The environment became so toxic that our supervisor would complain to everyone about how much she hated it there and wanted to leave. She had been there much longer than me. It really affected everyone’s morale and made it harder to adapt to all the changes. She was cool as a person, just not a good leader
I haven't spent a ton of time on it but it's come up on my feed. I'm a strong advocate for workplace culture disruption, boundaries, all that. My issue with anti work is a lot of what I've seen, and especially the commentary I see on it, is there's an overwhelming amount of trauma projections happening. Most of what is said I'm just like, woah y'all that's a trauma response. Instead of dealing with and healing the trauma, folks are stewing in it, and it's compounding trauma and that can lead to deterioration in emotional, psychological, and physical health. I recently took down a few of my videos I thought could be adding to that because it's not the vibe I want to create or promote.
I always down dress at work. When or if we end up meeting up outside of work, for drinks. My coworkers don't recognize me right away. They're like hey, "you look good". I wear my nice clothes when I'm not working.
For three years I drove a 'beater' POS cheap-ass truck to work. Then, one day on a very warm spring day I decided to take my original 1968 Chevrolet Corvette L88 to work, with a little over ten thousand miles on her. It's been valued at $980,000 US dollars. Within hours of that day, I was now the biggest drug dealer in the Northern hemisphere as well as a human smuggler. Watch out for prevailing small minds.
I had a coworker share that her husband had an affair with a heroin addict and got her pregnant. I can’t imagine that. Fast forward a couple of years and she was stealing money from senior citizens HOA accounts
If you don't want to drink at work, just say that you don't want to drink. There's no need to go through all those Jedi mind tricks. And if you can't just say that at work and have it accepted, you need to find a new job.
2:30 agree but can be double edged. Sometimes those can be chances to network (if the intake is minimal). I'm not a drinker at all. Seems like those who hit the bar with the boss Friday are the ones that get ahead.
I began to look at myself when it came to my coworkers and to understand myself if I'm in a conversation I want to be heard when I hear them they are just going back and forward and back and forth about nails hair clothes and it's just not what I'm interested in I want to have deep conversations with people I want to be able to support my friends and have my friends support me things can be pretty tough so I just stay out of it but I do hear when one is gone there's a suggestion from one other this is a threesome and I just continue to do my work but I hear everything that goes on and it's pretty sad it's my desire to be self aware and then if I am having certain feelings then I'll have to deal with myself there can be such low level competition and with my history I get attacked for the smallest things losing weight how I dress my hair I even had a roommate that attacked me because of my potential I had gotten a new car a new job and I think she felt threatened so I had to move out as soon as possible because I could see my self-esteem was at risk and I was still growing which I am but at 65 I've been through a lot so sad but it is those that haven't found Love within themselves and value within themselves that they feel threatened, thank you for your video very insightful
I am trying to figure out how to pretend all is well when it's not and the boss is not on my side of things so it's either quit or pretend everything is kosher.
Yes, she is right. There are so many green monsters. Don't ever arouse any jealousy. Don't look good. Don't get angry EVER. Don't correct your boss. You will think "what a kiss ass". Yes, if you don't, you will be attacked.
I needed a job to support my family and I wanted to work anonymously if possible. However a loud mouthed idiot told the world I had a famous name. This cost me a certain promotion and led to repeated comments “ it must be nice” when they discovered I had a cottage. I found out one of my “supervisors” had to seek out and view it. We built the cottage from scratch with lots of sweat equity. There were also personal attacks. When I put my child thru university this also came under examination. The only way I could partially counter all of this was to work focused and harder than anyone else until I could pension out. When I visited one work reunion I watched (for 5 minutes) I watched a co worker walk by without saying hello going to join his clique. I will never return.
0 seconds ago its amazing how it ALL gotten to this point at the workplace and its trending behaving that way . im just trying to make it to one direct deposit to the next ! if you're not yrs in with a company i say start your own business !
Because donations are made online at my workplace, my employer can't see the amount I give but they can see if I give. So I just give $1. I do resent being forced to give but at least this way it doesn't hurt much. We are forced to give to the United Way.
*This is the social media mentality, from which ALL Gen X, Z, Y and Millennials suffer. I’m a boomer, most of the folks who either practice this crap or become a victim, don’t see it until it’s far too late. Listen to your elders, get over yourself.*
I don't drink myself . I remember one company I worked it was a temporary position via an employment agency, there were 14 we had an ice breaker to get to know everyone, I kept my cards close to my chest and did not say too much.
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Want to avoid misery at work? Get to know how to navigate (and win) office politics. Start here: th-cam.com/video/dmHuvikWcqM/w-d-xo.html
Over sharing and becoming "friends" with coworkers ruined my promotion experience.
I'm sorry you went through this. Work relationships are fragile to power transitions.
Same 😞
I completely understand it's hard to not but I'm starting to understand I can't be friends with my coworkers AT WORK WHATSOEVER
It ruins you. It's not worth it. People don't like you any more because of it.
Share as little as you can.
If they aren't hanging out with you when you're not at work it's not worth it.
Work is boring. But it's work. It's not time with your friends
Do. Not. Tell. Your. Coworkers. Anything. Personal.
Keep your answers light and even vague. Keep your cards to your chest. Keep your emotions in check and keep your feelings about certain folk to yourself.
Don’t share anything emotionally related to anyone, because doing your job will be more tedious when they know how you think and feel.
This all sounds like great advice if you want to spend your whole life emotionally crippled.
We spend most of our adult lives at work. Learning how to express emotions and build friendships in a way that’s still professional is an essential long term mental health skill.
As I've gotten older, I've focused more on the work and less on the social aspect of work.
Me too.
same
I know someone who got fired because their coworkers found out where they lived….and complained that this person lived in luxury house and therefore was being paid too much! People are really evil out there..👿
😲
Huh? It makes no sense nor is it legal to fire someone over that-- there’s either more to the story or you said it for no reason.
@@Goodnightplutolagoon I don’t feed trolls 🧌 but I’ll give you a crumb are because you obviously have been living under a bridge or a rock to come with such an ignorant response.
Stalking that’s what it is and nobody should no where you lived and give your address info out
Never tell your person business at work because half of the people don't want to hear it and the other half is glad to hear it
Let's be real. Some people in the workplace are miserable and jealous. If you stay to yourself, they say you're a mean girl. I refuse to work in a office again.
@@Mark3-16 Thanks for the advice. I would continue to run my own company as I have for the past six years.
They find any reason to dislike you but I’ve noticed that the ones who focus more on the job & less on gossip end up get promoted & work in higher positions.
wow, you read my mind. there should be a class that teaches people that being jealous is ridiculous. Whenever i think of jealousy and rumors i remember Monica Seles being railroaded from a jerk in the audience.
Some things I've learned working is you DON'T have friends at work... you could be nice and everything but don't trust nobody.
Don't share nothing about your personal life.
Exactly as she said don't complain about anything anybody nothing zero...
Don't talk about nobody
DONT DO NOT GOSSIP if a coworker comes with gossip ignore if they complain just ignore... you could be nice but don't say nothing that may be used against you.
Do not have coworkers on fb Instagram or anywhere
And don't write text messages that could be used against you
Example omg I hate this manager ect ect... thinking that person is your friend
Go work get paid and leave
I took a pic of your comment as a reminder incase I forget. 😢
I work with people who constantly pump me for information. They gossip about everything. And I can sense they get rather frustrated by my vague answers. And the money thing is so true! I recently purchased a new car, and I didn’t realize what a buzz that ended up causing at work. Even though my car was an econo car,purchased to save money on gas. Same with clothing…I have a couple jackets that have labels. And a lady I work with pointed out I only wear jackets with labels.I told her the truth that I’m a thrifter and I never pay full price for items and that she could have the same stuff. But I believe I will take your advice and just wear no labels to avoid any further issues. Sometimes I want to move up in the mountains far away from people. Lol!
Companies wonder why people do not want to go back to the office.
It is really none of their business about your personal life, you are there to perform a job and bring value to the company.
I used to work with people that always complained about money, then I noticed their spending habits. Always bought coffee, and lunch and never brought lunch from home.
At the end of the week, those things add up, just multiply that times 52!
Me too 😂
@@greyhound-t3k Exactly!!!!!
I feel you should be able to wear whatever you want but politics, politics. No wonder no one wants to go to the office.
Avoid all this crap by working remotely. Ideally, very little teamwork or co-worker interaction.
That's great if you can do that, but not every job is even capable of that dynamic due to the nature of the work.
@@rvh77 not every job is remote but I’m saying choose a remote job if you want to avoid all this.
Yes
Remote control
Nope I would die being in my house for 8/9 hrs working. I tried it it’s horrible
I overshared info with my colleague personal and general ambitions he used all against me till I decided to resign and get another job, never trust anyone at work and keep silent, work and go home never even act that you know anything about work or act smart, jealousssssy👿
Regarding the designer bags - working in the fashion industry is also an exception to the rule. In fact, it’s encouraged in the fashion industry to have the latest luxury items.
The rule of thumb is this - your coworkers are NOT your friends. You can be friends with them AFTER you leave the company, but while they’re your coworkers, keep your mouth shut about the deep, dark details of your personal life, your feelings, and your hopes and dreams.
Yes fashion industry the first time definitely does not apply! And it is very competitive.
Honestly, I never attend any happy hour or social events for work. I know it makes me sound anti-social. But, I prefer to keep work relationships at work and personal relationships personal. I think it's ok to not attend those because you're not obligated to spend time with them outside of work hours. Just clock in, do your job and leave at the end of the day.
Totally agree.
Well said!
I wish i could do that. My company (read biggest pharma in the world today: *******s) forces employees to attend these weekly "fun n games quizes" , quarterly 1-week "fun n games" thing. Every dept looks ridiculous. I even see rooms where people are dancing and singing, lying on the floor playing babies!! Gosh! I mean you want us to sing and dance now just to get paid!!!
Amen!
I'd love to do that but if I don't have a legitimate reason why I can't attend the monthly office brunches when I'm already at work, I'm going to end up being the bad guy. I have to attend.
Like I care what a coworker thinks. Lol. I wear what I want.
I avoid all 5 when working at the office( now working from home 🙏) I still do not interacting with coworkers email , messaging or via Team etc. I keep my distance at all time. Yes because I am afraid of the gossiping and I want to keep my good reputation. People can put words in your mouth. I never ones like to go out with my coworkers that's a no no for me I know better. People tells me all the time I am a mystery lol. I tell them and "I like to keep it that way" lol. Clock in clock out. Always works and I'm happier that way.
I SOO WANT TO BE LIKE YOU!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤
started a new job and I feel bad already because I like music and feel really dumb cuz I feel like me recommending or talking about bands makes me introuble. 😞😞😞😞 I recommend to my manager and co workers, but my coworker said why are you recommending it to MXxxx who is the manager. 😢
Coworkers are not your friends. I've had to learn this the hard way unfortunately, over and over again.
Me too 😢
I deal with a complainer on one of my jobs. Major red flag. I tell her NOTHING about my life apart from very banal remarks on what I cooked for dinner or a place I visited recently. I refuse to give her any ammunition, she has no loyalty and I will not let her be the one to throw me under the bus.
Just escape from a drinking party when people become drunk. Drunks don't care if you are there.
Often true.
People who love to go to their workplace on their days off. Jesus Christ. Why would you want to do that?
Sadly, a lot of people's social bonds are limited to coworkers and feel isolated outside of work.
Sometimes ppl don't wanna miss out on the juicy gossip
I have heard that work can be heaven when your home life is horrible. You never know what getting out of the house or even going to work can do for you.
Cause work is enjoyable eh
Only if you're in a desperate situation and need more money, provided you get paid for it
It's early Jennifer .. One should be weary of yapping to much at work. If in doubt , zip 🤫 it. Got a complaint ? Save it for the dog 🐕 when you get home. Off to vote 🗳 ..
Yay for voting!!
You are so right. You likely end up poisoning the atmosphere with negativity and drama.
I just hate there are so many social rules. Like you’re 100% right about it but I just feel like it makes me hate people for being so judgmental. But I have to remember everyone judges, including me.
I’m so glad you included the value of playing office politics. It’s actually about how you master relationships. And relationships are the lifeblood of both work and life. Usually people who complain about it are those who are fearful of letting down their guard, asking for help, understanding that your boss is people too.
Mastering relationships is truly a non-negotiable. It comes easier to some than others, but always with the effort in multiples.
Yeah you have to read people well and discern if you need to be understanding, co operable, distant and finding those you can trust and build with in the work place.
Or just not great at it.
@@snoozyq9576 so true
The worse thing at work is jealous and envy. It is people wanting what you have got in life. It is about they wanting you NOT HAVING IT. They don't try to study or work as hard as you to be there you are. But they will do their best to sabotage your possibility to get what you deserve for your efforts.
I love your take on office politics. It's a sticky subject, for sure. There's a right and wrong way to go about it. I think success lies in being honest, helpful, and hungry.
I totally agree with you!
I have worked with a lot of older Gen X/Boomers and I find these generations take a HUGE offense if you don’t share any detail about your personal life. They think you’re unprofessional if you don’t engage in small talk and tell them general details of my personal life.
As a millennial, I completely agree. I was at one job where I brought up small, superficial stuff on my personal life but did not want to go into it with my dreams, goals, family and they judged me and looked at me as weird. The profession I used to be in thrived on mean girl gossip and drama. Friends today, enemy tomorrow. It’s sad to hear that that’s how they saw me but at least I wasn’t part of any drama or attacks
That's weird , I'm 57 and find the exact opposite. I'm the one ostracized from the young generation because I don't talk about my life or share anything about it on social media. 🤔
I’m Gen X and I’m the total opposite. I don’t care about your personal life and I don’t disclose mine. I don’t do social media and I don’t hang out with my coworkers after work. I don’t go to work to make friends.
*Because they’re immature but don’t know it.*
I agree with walk in beauty and MJ Bankhead. Millenials and Zoomers are the worst with this for me. I go to work TO WORK. I don't care about who said what on Twitter. I don't care about TikTok. I don't care how "woke" you all are. I don't want to go drink with you all afterwards. I just want to clock in , do my tasks, then go straight home and chill with my family. But they get overly triggered when I don't pay them any attention or care for office drama/gossip.
Another excellent video. I don't overshare or wear expensive clothes but I have to make a mental note of not complaining and watch your video you recommended at the end.
The not complaining is a big. Not only does it shape how you're perceived, it will shift your experience (and I say this as someone who is naturally a complainer lol)
Awesome video! Something I just want to warn others of is to be careful of what you post online. It can also become gossip fodder in your workplace, especially if you have coworkers added.
Yes great add!
So true. I'd hear coworkers criticizing another coworker's IG all the time during lunch. You'd think adults would be more mature but they're not. My best advice don't add anyone from work and keep your social media private. It's not worth it!
Why would anyone connect with their coworkers on social media? That’s super toxic and setting yourself up for failure. Nothing professional about it.
Never ask personal questions about finances. Had a coworker ask me all kinds of questions and got offended when I told him it was none of his business.
Some one at my brother work came in and gloating about how he inherited 6 figures after his nan died. Of course they had no problem trying to get him fired. If you make people feel inferior they will punish you for it, sometimes severely.
It's lovely that person's loved one left them money, and that provided some comfort - but gloating about anything is not a good look. This is also why I love the idea of being open and talking candidly about money, but we also need to acknowledge other people are weird AF about money and when that transparency is gonna bite you (IMHO bragging about money never works out for people).
You should never brag about any type of money except your salary at your job
Never brag about investing, saving money, if you own or rent, always share the absolute minimum
I would only share hobbies and job related topics
Wow! They tried to get someone fired because he was gloating? I get that having to listen to a braggart is annoying but is showing off a sackable offence? Unless his work was subpar also... 🤷♀
I hope your brother learned that you should never brag.
This sh*t is annoying.
You will never get any positive emotions with this.
People either don't care or hate you.
Even if he didn’t gloat, but rather confided in a couple of trusted friends, it’s just too risky. People are jealous. When I achieved financial independence (my investment income exceeded my take-home pay) I kept my mouth shut. When my paid-off car that was in brand-new condition was totaled and I paid cash to replace it, I lied and lamented that I had a big car payment again. Never let people know you’re in a good position.
Great video. I wish I knew this months ago. I dress up because I have severe anxiety. So yes, I wear heels and love my Chanel earrings. I noticed the stares… then came the emails documenting every conversation, finally, probationary termination(to avoid any explanation on their end). It’s been a punch in the gut but also liberating. My field was academia. No after work happy hours for us , just huge EGOS.
I watched this entire video on my 15 minute break at work while walking a full mile around the store in 15 and a half minutes and I definitely feel refreshed and energized after watching the video!
We’re a family…
Lol I have a whole video on that
Link pleasee
Ugh this is my work now. My boss punishes people for not being her friends. Yuck.
This lady makes the best videos!!!!!!
In addition to not flashing logos…. Actually present the image of being less fortunate.
What I’ve noticed is that promotions and raises are given based on the subjective idea of need and not performance.
An excellent performing well dressed person with designer clothes and accessories is LESS likely to get a bonus or a raise, than a poor performing employee who management assumes NEEDS the money.
Especially alcohol. I read in Forbes that is one reason why around Christmas time many people get fired. People will sometimes get lit up at things like this and will say things they usually will not say when sober. I have witnessed this twice in the past
A lot of toxic people get promoted this way , this is why they do it
Remote …..none of that garbage
All of these are 💯 the oversharing bit me hard. I was in a casual morning coffee conversation at a job I was relatively new at, and mentioned my family had gone to Hawaii. By lunch I was known as "bougie". It's sad but people will draw up their own perceptions of you and the less you say the better off you will be.
Never let an employer know how “hungry” you are. Personal tastes, cost of living, etc. This knowledge is power over you. Employers love desperate people. Especially commission based sales environments. I’ll never go out for drinks with coworkers either. Unless it’s to not drink and just listen to loose lips lol. Coworkers are not your friends protecting THEIR livelihood will always be their priority. I can count all the coworkers I would consider friends on one hand after nearly 30 years in the workforce.
I avoid drinking, especially at the company holiday party. I've had coworkers and bosses get lit up and do all kinds of embarrassing things. Everything from racial slurs, drunken hookups, hitting on someone's spouse/significant other, and other stupid stuff.
Good advise tough this is oriented to USA working culture.
In Europe we tend to be more neutral and empathic towards others.
I had some USA working colleges and they are extremely competitive.
Of course can t generalise, but I think it tends to be so.
I am in Europe and unfortunately for me it’s just like USA culture. It is not safe to share anything personal, or say how you really feel about that coworker or manager, just don’t do it!!
Not just logos, but also with being seen eating take out a lot. I enjoy buying my food somewhere rather than hauling a lunch bag and having random things, like utensils, stolen by sticky fingers some co-workers have. Except when I was working in fast food, every job I've had there would always be someone making remarks about me spending money on my lunches, making speculations, asking me how I'm able to afford it, as if it's their business. One lady, as she was leaving, said "Well I guess you can eat but not your daughter." Like... WTF?! So, then I went to the managers and had that little discussion. She came up to me after she was spoken to apologizing.
Over share! Guilty
It's how we find out edges but ooch not a fun way to learn is it?
@@JenniferBrick As you said, it depends on 'who' you share with! I have made it a point to NOT share other peoples gossip, with the team. Good side is: people respect me more, and they realize i'm not trying to play the games. The down side is: I then become the sounding board for all others unhappy life experiences!
There's too many rules in the workplace isn't there? It's no wonder nobody wants to work
Who are these nobodies you are talking about.. Yourself?
Sometimes you can't master the office politics in a workplace if it's that toxic and it's better to leave.
Yes I very much agree with this. I work in the arts and while most ppl are very happy to hear about my new creations (cosplay) I have seen that if cost ends up slipping out, ppl get weird. Even if its something you have worked very hard to put together ect. Rule of thumb I've been learning just don't talk money or cost of things around coworkers.
My question is how to remain so creative, open minded and an enthusiastic learner when a lot of negative politics is going around you? Even its psychologically proven that dirty politics and creativity can't stay at the same place..
I have a several videos on my channel about surviving in a toxic job that can help 💜
I think the not complaining part is the one allowing negativity. There should always be a point when you need to speak out at the right time. Let’s face it, toxic office culture is now the trend. Either join the band or quit. For toxic people, there’s no such thing as meeting halfway. It should always be what they want. Period.
Also wondered about that, if there is a valid reason to complain, why should anyone keep their mouth shut? Nothing will change by not addressing a problem, and the coworker worth complaining about will get away with it. If I am not allowed to address such negative topics, am I supposed to quit my job instead to avoid enduring whatever uncomftable situation?
Maybe she means don’t talk negatively about people at work or gossip. It seems unrealistic to not complain. Because there are challenges at the job or there is miscommunication or things not being done etc.
Your insights are golden. As an early career professional starting a new job I am really going to put this wisdom to work ❤ thanks so much Jennifer!
I'm so glad my channel is helping you, Grace 💜
Powerful knowledge!!! Keeping it low key is always powerful!
For someone who really wants to re-enter the corporate world after 4 years in a crappy local small business, your videos are very helpful!
I don't know how I could re-enter the corporate world after such a long break, pray for me :))
Sending you all the vibes friend 💜✨
The better way might be to re-enter in a very great and non-toxic company
Me, again. Still at the same company. Your videos still keeping me going. Grateful for your professional knowledge.
In a world where workplaces are child-minding centers for grown-up 8 year olds, this channel is very useful
This is exactly why no one wants to return to the office. I'm desperate for a remote job.
As our virtual training sessions always ask at the r conclusions, "we received this information when we really needed it" especially about drinking with higher-ups, holiday parties and so on...Always a refreshing necessary reminder of what to do to feel most comfortable at work.
Happy Hours are borderline mandatory in my office. You can miss one or two but beyond that people will start to talk smack. Even if you wanted nothing more than to remain above the fray. I usually fill my beer bottle with water and cut out after a few rounds. Not perfect, but keeps the boo birds at bay.
It's better off to just keep to yourself and don't talk to anybody so you don't have to worry about setting boundaries.
Hey...where have you been...haven't seen your content in a while...maybe the algorithm isn't feeding me your content. Glad to see your latest video
I've been here the whole time! I'm guessing TH-cam wasn't suggesting it but glad this one hit your feed and I hope you enjoyed it!
Wow. This is actually pretty good. I was expecting some schmaltzy keep your chin up, don't fish off the office pier etc bollocks but your advice is pretty thoughtful. Not complaining is all important for me. It's a fucking job, you walk out door at 5pm so you can hang on a bit and find a big fat shoulder to cry on somewhere. Just not at work. Plus - and this is a bit of a revelation for me is keeping a slight detachment from what's going on around you. Not zero shits, just one or two less than you normally give. That works.
So spend eight hours a day tolerating a problem, rather than complaining about it? No wonder society is messed up.
Excellent Jennifer! Thanks for sharing!
Glad your enjoyed the video John!
I work in HR and have worked hard to normalize dry events, or always provide a featured non-alcoholic option like Kombucha, punch, etc. That way the non-drinkers don't feel excluded and they get something special. It really helps those on the fence about drinking at work make better choices too I think
This year we also promoted Dry January and wellness with yoga classes, healthy cooking class, fitness challenge, etc.
You are on predatory corpo side as hr. Who cares what you propose?
I use to do the opposite to everything this channel says not to do, it was fun, we all made mistakes, took responsibility for our own actions, made fools of ourselves sometimes but for the most part it was fun. Now the work place is a woke sad hell hole, that is why I will never set foot back in the woke office space, I now live work remotely. Stupid rules and laws killed fun.
Agree. And many of those co-workers who had fun alongside me, and had a sense of humour while still being good workers are still friends outside of work to this day. Not all of it was toxic.
I think it all depends. I work in the luxury space so we definitely wear designer pieces like Thome Browne, Gucci, etc
I had a job for 13 years. The last 3 years there were terrible, lots of changes we were forced to adapt to. The environment became so toxic that our supervisor would complain to everyone about how much she hated it there and wanted to leave. She had been there much longer than me. It really affected everyone’s morale and made it harder to adapt to all the changes. She was cool as a person, just not a good leader
Have you seen the subreddit r/antiwork? I'm curious about your general views about such a space.
I haven't spent a ton of time on it but it's come up on my feed. I'm a strong advocate for workplace culture disruption, boundaries, all that. My issue with anti work is a lot of what I've seen, and especially the commentary I see on it, is there's an overwhelming amount of trauma projections happening. Most of what is said I'm just like, woah y'all that's a trauma response. Instead of dealing with and healing the trauma, folks are stewing in it, and it's compounding trauma and that can lead to deterioration in emotional, psychological, and physical health. I recently took down a few of my videos I thought could be adding to that because it's not the vibe I want to create or promote.
@@JenniferBrick jkll
your co-workers aren’t your friend.
@7.20 I need this on repeat!!!!
This video I have to praise👍 I experienced all at my work.
I have ADD and having to learn these skills at age 33 lol
I'm so glad that nothing you have ever said is anything I have to listen to.
I always down dress at work. When or if we end up meeting up outside of work, for drinks. My coworkers don't recognize me right away. They're like hey, "you look good". I wear my nice clothes when I'm not working.
Thanks for getting straight to the point
I hate luxury labels. Waste of money for poor quality product.
Luxury clothing is a bad "investment." It depreciates immediately, except for maybe bags. It suggests you're a poor investor.
Great advice thank you🙏🏻🙏🏻
For three years I drove a 'beater' POS cheap-ass truck to work. Then, one day on a very warm spring day
I decided to take my original 1968 Chevrolet Corvette L88 to work, with a little over ten thousand miles on her.
It's been valued at $980,000 US dollars.
Within hours of that day, I was now the biggest drug dealer in the Northern hemisphere as well as a human smuggler.
Watch out for prevailing small minds.
This advice is spot on!!!
Thanks for hanging with me here!
Trauma bonding is not bonding over trauma but we really need a term for that because no one knows what to call that
I like people behind my back talking about how much money I have, xD
🤔
I had a coworker share that her husband had an affair with a heroin addict and got her pregnant. I can’t imagine that. Fast forward a couple of years and she was stealing money from senior citizens HOA accounts
😮😦😧
@Kelly Kerr: 😶
26 04 2023
The moral is other people at work just need to mind their own business.
If you don't want to drink at work, just say that you don't want to drink. There's no need to go through all those Jedi mind tricks. And if you can't just say that at work and have it accepted, you need to find a new job.
The mistake that I had I speak up and I faced retaliation and discrimination I got trauma and depression do not share your feeling at work please
I am going to add Never have and a love story with your boss …
2:30 agree but can be double edged. Sometimes those can be chances to network (if the intake is minimal). I'm not a drinker at all. Seems like those who hit the bar with the boss Friday are the ones that get ahead.
I began to look at myself when it came to my coworkers and to understand myself if I'm in a conversation I want to be heard when I hear them they are just going back and forward and back and forth about nails hair clothes and it's just not what I'm interested in I want to have deep conversations with people I want to be able to support my friends and have my friends support me things can be pretty tough so I just stay out of it but I do hear when one is gone there's a suggestion from one other this is a threesome and I just continue to do my work but I hear everything that goes on and it's pretty sad it's my desire to be self aware and then if I am having certain feelings then I'll have to deal with myself there can be such low level competition and with my history I get attacked for the smallest things losing weight how I dress my hair I even had a roommate that attacked me because of my potential I had gotten a new car a new job and I think she felt threatened so I had to move out as soon as possible because I could see my self-esteem was at risk and I was still growing which I am but at 65 I've been through a lot so sad but it is those that haven't found Love within themselves and value within themselves that they feel threatened, thank you for your video very insightful
Complaining is my downfall. It’s so hard not to do
Why are co workers so petty
Mr eimer
I am trying to figure out how to pretend all is well when it's not and the boss is not on my side of things so it's either quit or pretend everything is kosher.
Yes, she is right. There are so many green monsters. Don't ever arouse any jealousy. Don't look good. Don't get angry EVER. Don't correct your boss. You will think "what a kiss ass". Yes, if you don't, you will be attacked.
These sound like struggling worker rules. High value MVPs don't worry so much.
Yup that’s what I do low to no logo and not driving my other car either lol
I needed a job to support my family and I wanted to work anonymously if possible. However a loud mouthed idiot told the world I had a famous name. This cost me a certain promotion and led to repeated comments “ it must be nice” when they discovered I had a cottage. I found out one of my “supervisors” had to seek out and view it. We built the cottage from scratch with lots of sweat equity. There were also personal attacks. When I put my child thru university this also came under examination. The only way I could partially counter all of this was to work focused and harder than anyone else until I could pension out. When I visited one work reunion I watched (for 5 minutes) I watched a co worker walk by without saying hello going to join his clique. I will never return.
0 seconds ago
its amazing how it ALL gotten to this point at the workplace and its trending behaving that way . im just trying to make it to one direct deposit to the next ! if you're not yrs in with a company i say start your own business !
My workplace is asking for donations for different causes. Do I have to contribute to all of them? I really go there to make money not to spend it.
Because donations are made online at my workplace, my employer can't see the amount I give but they can see if I give. So I just give $1. I do resent being forced to give but at least this way it doesn't hurt much. We are forced to give to the United Way.
@@happycook6737 Thanks for the tip, United Way is one of ours as well.
I don't give to anything my employer wants a donation for. Why should I give my money in order to make them look good?
Only share your intellectual strength and vulnerability in your resume and nothing about your emotions.
@JenniferBrick: Hi! Is the advice in your upcoming book applicable to government sector jobs?
*This is the social media mentality, from which ALL Gen X, Z, Y and Millennials suffer. I’m a boomer, most of the folks who either practice this crap or become a victim, don’t see it until it’s far too late. Listen to your elders, get over yourself.*
I don't drink myself . I remember one company I worked it was a temporary position via an employment agency, there were 14 we had an ice breaker to get to know everyone, I kept my cards close to my chest and did not say too much.
Okay I understand, so I should never wear a Balmain shirt to work😂😂
Please do a video on work parties/events