Raising The Stakes | Your Mom's House Ep. 705
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ส.ค. 2024
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Tom Segura and Christina P. Would like to cordially invite you back to the Mommy Dome! What age range is appropriate to date? We open with a clip of a cool guy who got beat up by a girl, Christina continues to learn about the animal kingdom, we dive deeper into Enny and Ryan basketball game AND Enny seems to have cracked Tom’s color coding system for his soundboard! We get an update on ol’ Sh!t Eyes aka Blind Bob, continue our MASSIVE campaign to send Tom to space, and we reinforce that absolutely everyone you know will die at some point. How neat!
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TH-cam Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro - Dating Your Age
00:11:59 - Opening Clip
00:16:23 - Smart Christina
00:22:21 - Recording Drunk People
00:28:01 - Enny VS Ryan Basketball
00:39:49 - Tom’s Soundboard
00:44:51 - Enny is STILL Heated
00:49:45 - Blind Bob
01:03:32 - Tom’s Space Campaign
01:17:18 - Everyone Dies
01:25:38 - Masks and Big Words
01:35:05 - TikToks - ตลก
As a Florida man, every one knows that the difference between an alligator and a crocodile, is that one will see you later and the other will see you in a while.
Underrated
😂😂😂🤌🤌🤌💞
lmao
❤️
@@chrisscornerx3 Can we _please_ stop using that word incorrectly? 😂
The way Tim immediately switched the definitions for croc and gator
Glad I wasn't the only one who caught it
Tim the crocodile hunter
Stolen valor
He learned from the gaslighting master
He likes to think he's smarter than Tina but he's just as tokd
Seeing Enie with a full head of hair knowing he won it in a basketball game would absolutely be the greatest thing I've ever seen accomplished on TH-cam.
*YMH > **-DudePerfect-*
He's gonna lose I bet! Enny seems completely delusional about his abilities in general. He doesn't need to shit or drink water! 1 in 8 billion!
I hope he gets a big ole afro like that retro EA sports game.
He won. 😂
12:32
I fuckin lost it when Tom went “ is she on the team now brotha “ “is she welcome to the cookout now or what” 😂😂😂
I fell out
I feel like it's worth mentioning every week...
Lenovo has a larger market share in computers than Apple.
One of Christina's primary reasons for not knowing Lenovo is thinking the entire planet had moved to Apple products ...
Los Angeles does this to people
I hate Apple personally.
Always have since the g3 computer with the handle on the back. And their ONE mouse button
It's not an LA thing, it's not having a regular desk job thing.
Nolevo? Levenlo? Never heard of him..
Drives me crazy the common android poor thing. Apple hasn't had the best or most expensive phone for like 10 years now.
But my texts won't be blue or green or whatever the hell
@@causeithappens yeah i hate the whole looking down on us for our green text bubbles thing. ive ended friendships over less. fuck those elitists
“I didnt know there were three primary colors”
Dude good on tom for breaking the stigma and marrying a person with severe mental disability. That is some bonafide R-worded commentary from Christine today my gosh.
haha There've been a few. She also had no idea that a "Panther" is a black Leopard or Jaguar and they still, also have the spots like the rest of the species. To be fair though, I find that most Americans don't know the diff between a turtle and a tortoise, or croc and alligator. They just call every reptile with a shell a turtle. Even though it's walking across arid rocks and desert like terrain with a large humped/rounded shell and clearly has feet for walking and not swimming. Also, every smartphone is called an iPhone 🤦♂ The World series of American sports, where America plays America, in some other place in Merica. I wonder why they don't try play sport against other countries? This way Merica always wins 🤠 Shame
@@juankruger2598 wouldnt say most- alot but definately not most
@@kristiskinner8542 Sorry, to be clear, I should've said most, almost all that one sees on shows and podcasts online. Or articles I've read where they mention a turtle for eg, but then have a pic of a tortoise. Sorry, that's what I meant, as I haven't been to America to meet any in person
@juankruger2598 😂😂 might wanna close the electronics and go to America and actually meet some people instead of making blind judgements.
@@SketchyAsFunk facts 😂
Tom: Alligators are darker.
Tom 30 seconds later: Crocodiles are darker.
'and, the rounded snout, usually belongs to the croc,' he immediately forgets everything he just read, lmao
Crocs have knarley teeth!
I'm glad I hadn't confused myself and that it was Tom f-ing up the distinction.
And then got the rounded snout wrong too.... fucking geniuses these two.
😂
They should definitely create an app with all of Tom's sound bites, so we can drop these in our day to day lives! Highandtigh
That would be awesome because I've been wanting that one sound bite "you said the R word" they played earlier for the longest time.
I would pay for it
@@ajbarrett8169 I wouldn't cause I'm a fat poor.
This shit should be easy
Can you bring David Walter on as an employee and have him do a weather segment during the show
This would be amazing. A YMH weather segment? Yes please.
Definitely in may
Have him do the promo for the Enny vs. Ryan showdown in the style of a weather forecast
First segment could be golden showers a la “piss on me beat me”
People getting hit by lightning. Horrible or hilarious but.
Tim said the croc was on the left during the explanation of crocs vs gators test… the croc was indeed on the right. confusing and corrupting the results. Tim doesn’t know know a gator from a croc either. Gaslighting Christine for his pure evilness
When he read the description, he said that alligators are darker, then immediately went on to go with crocodiles being darker for the rest of the time.
@@dickwhisker i was wondering if i was crazy or if anyone else caught that
@@FL-Kman yup read the description then immediayely mixed them up
This bugged me so much that he fucked it up for her lol I wanted her to succeed
I knew I was not crazy!!
The barking contest was so funny I had to pull the car over, bc I was laughing so hard…. We need more of this! ❤😂
Ennie and Brent are the 2 most overconfident people I've ever witnessed 😂
Bart is kinda funny with it though. It’s entertaining. With Ennie it’s just sad and annoying.
@@clicheguevara5282 agreed Bart was a athlete at one point and has proven why he has confidents.
1:32:26
That chuckle followed by “I think I gotta put it in the blue file”
Was fucking genius man 😂😂😂
I totally heard Nicole but could tell what they heard.
Lmfaooo Christina switched from hating her dads personality into loving it in seconds. CLIP IT !
Christina wants to fuck her dad, just not be in a relationship with him.
@OneguyUnderTheSkymaking daddy issues political, only in America
@Mickey Valentine unplug man lol
@Mickey Valentine touch grass
@Mickey Valentine this comment is bot-esque
Christine and Tim had my dog going crazy while I was doing dishes with their dog impressions 😂
Enny turns into prime Danny Brown when his high pitch voice comes out 😂
Lol Tom got his croc and gators mixed around almost immediately 😂
its a Lenovo
Enie had his own little Danny Brown moment talking to Ryan lmfaooo
He even went up three octaves and hit that Danny brown note too
34:20
I think it's time we should be able to buy art prints of the cool guys on the wall
Krista saying within just a few sentences that she is "over a disease" she's had 3x's and not being able to tell different animals speaks volumes
She's pretending to be the dumb blonde while actually being a dumb blonde. It's like if you take batman's mask off and find out that underneath he looks 100% like the batman mask.
Primary colors now? Is this lady able to tell time? Can she understand how money works? I'm starting to be concerned for her safety. 😂
why do you think Tim pushed her down those stairs?
Her and Bobby Lee should just do a podcast where they talk about what they don't know.
@@Cyxz666 lol
Colours* . I’m not English, I’m trans American.
@@Leddy0222 if you were transamerican, then the American spelling would be correct
As a skinny poor, I feel left out, skinny poors are just as important as fat poors 😂
Facts. 6’1” 140 pound skinny poor here.
I don't even understand how poors can be fat. Like, I can't afford food! 😂
Thank you! 🤌 I started as a fat low-income white. Now I'm a thin low-income white. I gotchu Hoss 💞🤌🤭💞
You too can be a winner. Get on foodstamps and start eating prison type meals. You'll be a fat low-income before you know it!
Of course he's holding a guitar.
@@amyblackwood2259 it’s called government assistance 😂
I say “I wanna laugh” out loud in my car alone every time I open a new YMH.
Tommy’s sound board is the most under appreciated cast member of YMH 😂
I'm happy to see your so strict with Nadav, as an addict that's definitely needed
Agreed. He's also his employer. Imagine if your boss put you through rehab and then you asked if they wanted to go out for a drink... Tom was actually pretty nice about it
@@sam_I_may_be I agree 100%
Nadav is a legit degenerate gambler
Lololol can't believe there are people falling for this.
@@jmh31890 ya ikr. It has to be a bit right? When he first started talking about it way back then im like "oh, this is the new bit uh"
I love the quick lecture Tom gives Native about his addiction. Such a beautiful little father/son moment.
The look on Nadav' s face after Tim finally said 'dude we're not talking any action with you..' So defeated.
@@3lectronaut7 i can’t tell if it’s an actual joke or not
It really feels real lol especially the way they talk about meetings
Ennie is an enabler😂
I still have ZERO idea if it's real or a bit cause on nadavs insta it's all pics of him gambling n the captions are "relapsing again" lmao
😂that was me with crossbow i did some really crazy hard time in florida and Iappreciate this 😅😅 and understanding my humor just hit 400k followers on tik tok and have fought for 3 world titles in kickboxing raising my family . I have a big fight in August I love this thank you !!!
I wanna wear a mask to one of their live shows or stand up just to trigger them lmao
Watching Tim and Christin look at pictures of crocs and gators and repeatedly misidentify them was the funniest thing I’ve seen in awhile. It’s really not that hard guys.
Tom literally read that alligators are darker then proceeded to tell Christine that crocodiles are darker, it’s so obvious as an Aussie too which is which haha
South Florida native here, I completely agree lol
Florida Man here - this has been a cakewalk since I was a child. Gators have rounded snouts and high eyes. Crocs have pointed snouts and low eyes. It's infuriating watching dummies not understand this - which I think is why Tommy trolls us with it.
If you look real close, and not move too much, right over there you can see the common Aussie interjecting themselves to feel relevant.
Lol anyone from Florida knows that Tom was wrong when he said crocs have the rounded nose.
Well aren't you special now .. 👍🙄 good for you .. your just soooo cool 😎
Do seals and sea lions next! Haha I’d pay so much to watch
Christina just guess animals all day 😂
i bet she cant tell gorillas and chimps apart either.. every-things probably a 'monkey'
Tom talking about posting up the weatherman had me in stitches! Lol!!
We need to see this drunk fireworks video ASAP! Thanks mommy
it's amazing to me Christine has lived to 46 with her brain
Tbh, without Tom and his money...I dont know where she would be now.
@@calistafalcontail it's nice of Tom to support his wife's hobbies, like standup
She's a modern medical miracle
Also she used to do a bunch of drugs and seems weirdly proud of it
SNIGGERS - Kristina
“Is she on the team now brotha?” Is the funniest sht I’ve heard in a long time 😂
It’s the thrust of Tom ejaculating lol I just have the funny scene that he uses it as thrust and saves the world somehow afterwards because he made it 😂
The intro was incredible with all the different transitions between Tim and Cristine.
Nadav is literally uncut gem sandler
I feel like this podcast is a good way to show autism awareness, thank you Tom for bringing Christina to show support for Autism.
"You can barely come in space, let alone live" 1:17:25 - Christine....LOLOL
Bob would be in heaven in Garths jet 😂
My favorite episodes, by far, are when it’s just my main mommies and the booth boys
When he said, Ryan’s Dr. cleared them to play basketball I thought he was talking about Ryan Sickler. Lol
Sitting in a hospice right now. Was hoping for this
That deserves a like
If Tom didn’t find comedy I’m confident he would’ve become a hospice worker for the fun of it.
🙏💗
💞🙏💞
❤
Did Tommy just gaslight her on the gator/croc thing? 😆
uh hundred percent
@@mumblez7712 😂😂😂
Classic casual gaslighting just like his momma
Totally!
First it was burp-gate, now this!
Nadav could light a fire with the friction from those hands every time he hears anything with stakes.
The cat sound clip going in the blue file killed me 😂
Enny started sounding like Danny brown when talking😂
Let’s show these poors how it’s done
Poors are 🤢. Get it together
Fat* poors
Poors disgust me
You're actually hono
I was laughing so hard at work they kept coming into my lab and seeing what was going on.
Tim was on fucking point today 😂😂😂 "is she on the team now brotha?" 💀
It took literally one explanation of the difference between an alligator and a crocodile for me to comprehend. Christina is special
I thought Christine was kinda R worded with the cheetah leopard thing until the gator croc came up...
It was the “I didnt know there were three primary colors” for me...without tom and his money, where would she be now.
This is one of my favorite episodes i think. The banter and trash talk and sound clips AND CREW😂
Idk why but Tom doing the bark caught me so off guard. It just seems like something he wouldn't try and he just went for it 😂
Enny got that Berty boy confidence
Imagine understanding and having anxiety but invalidating others anxiety
Most of my left forearm and right calf are ‘brutal black’ style inked, and it’s actually not as painful as you’d think. I think the 50 head packer needle helps spread the puncturing motions more evenly and feels more like rubbing your skin with a scourer really hard, rather than a needle stabbing you.
Bigger issue is that the entire area is an open wound afterwards, and full of massive amounts of ink so your body thinks it’s in shock. I drove all the way home just fine, but then turned yellow and almost passed out at the dinner table after the leg was done. Absolutely love my ink though
I really hate how insanely hard I laughed at the barking video and Tim and Christine trying it 😂😂😂
An easy way to tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile is whether or not you see them later or after a while.
After switching the same 5 pictures of Crocs and alligators, Christina has the memory of a rock. Basically, R-worded.
I’m yelling rn! Tim and Christin are both r worded for the alligator/ crocodile discussion! They don’t even look alike 😅
Tim was effing with her. Lmao
Tom should have thrown a couple wildcard Iguana pictures into the Alligator-Crocodile game
There was also terence trent d'arby sporting that look. But this guy looks most like Nuno Bettencourt from Extreme.
Saying jeans and mommy at drive thru's has improved my life in general. Working my way up to an "I love you"
With all the hate in the world?
🎵 What the world ....needs now.
Is love.... sweet love.
Try the Hi Hitler, it's the best..like hot sauce!
I don't use drive thru's enough, but when I have, I'm almost too nervous to try it out with the jeans, mommies, I love you's - but seeing others do it makes me happy
That’s funny, i found tagging on an ily at the very end a lot easier than finding somewhere to say mommy and jeans. Total opposite over here.
Makes me so happy that you guys also practice telling people to F off. I thought it was just me 😂
When she said your committed to your mental illnesses got me
I love the transitions the booth boys pull out for the intro song 😂😂
Tom teaching his wife about crocs, and gators is like when I pretend I know what I'm talking about to my wife and her believing my dumb ass 😂
Christina's hair looks so beautiful at the start of the show and she gradually destroys it as the show goes on! So funny!!
So many GEMS in this podcast! Thank you YMH!
Tom: “The whole time I was waiting for his face to get bitten off” Christina: “I wish” 😂 1:35:54
0:35
Tanya showing us what she learned from Brent's wife.
The barking contest was the most endearing marital moment. Love it 😂
I'm going to heaven. I NEVER thought of calling the poor blind guy "Shit Eyes". But it did take a long time to stop laughing after I heard it.
I can't even imagine Enny with hair.
“ is she on the team now brutha?” 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Working in hospital and wearing N95s for 12-16 hour shifts was a nightmare
Just want to say thank you to both of you guys for the weekly podcast . Truly appreciate your time ❤🎉 . Love you
Cracks me up that they use the dot patterns to differentiate cheetahs and leopards. They have very different looking heads/eyes. That's like looking at pictures of completely different looking people and remembering them by their clothes haha
IKR! Cheetahs basically have black tear lines coming from their eyes. Leopards are so stalky and chunky compared to cheetahs. I would never use spots 😂
Tim and Christine's reaction to Nadav asking for that $$ action post rehab was fitting.
Been watching for years, u guys and the team all put together one hell of a show week in and week out. Watching the pros dominate the field is such a pleasure
Jada doesn't let me watch this
.....but I'm gonna watch it, anyway.
Dr. Drew will have to tell Cristina again that nobody in her family was actually ever inside of her.
That’s the b-hole you dummy.
Lmao excellent catch
Well Tom hasn't been, but their kids have lol. The interior of the uterus is inside the body
@@CaptainDevilSticks no, it’s connect to the outside world via the cervix. The inside of the body isn’t connect to the outside world unless you slice into it
@@2mis2TL86 Drew has said it is both inside and outside the body because of the cervix.
Good morning Mommies!
Tim, through and through, found the female Burnt Chrysler in Christine.
Didn’t know what primary colors are…wow.
Referring to Blind Bob as, "Shit Eyes", cracks me up every time.
My favorite episodes are when Christina looks like she's tripping on shrooms.
The way you guys react to the rottweiler is awesome lmao. Rottis show their love that way sometimes... It's just a lot of emotional build up. Our old boy would sound like he'd tear you apart and it was good to be able to scare other people with cuz I could make him sound like that without doing anything to me
The opening edits get my jeans high and tight right off the bat. Thanks Enny. Love you
I need more Horrible or Hilarious in my life
Perhaps Christina is becoming Japanese. In Japanese we use the same word for both crocodile and alligator (鰐／ワニ／Wani)
I can’t decide if Tom switched them on purpose 😂. I wish I was Asian tho cuz when I fly I wear a face mask with mint oil on it cuz I can’t afford first class and poor fats stink. Tina would judge the shit out of me.
@Mickey Valentine
That's a complete mischaracterization of both Christina P, and Jordan Peterson.
You are an R.
Thanks Christine, some of us poors can’t afford to take off work if we get covid
You will even get grilled like this when you are the victim of a crime, when you call the cops, and on the stand by the lawyer of whoever committed the crime against you, it's insane. The lawyer for the dude that busted into my house with a crowbar was trying to make me look like a piece of shit up on the stand, even though I didn't do anything but report a crime against me.
I played you guys barking to my dog and she only semi reacted to Tina’s bark 😂😂😂😂
The poor people in space line was beautiful 😂
you should make the soundboard an app
4:31 Christina coming in hot and deep less than 5 minutes in. Just lost the matriarch of our family in February so that hit me likecrazy.
I kinda got used to the "Heeeeerrrrrrrrre We Go" before they started the opening clip. Hope it comes back next week.
I like how Main Mommy thinks there's dead astronauts just floating in space.
No kitty these are my cheesy poofs!