The guy I recently dated was persistent in the first two months. In the third month, he suddenly communicated less and used his work as the reason, that he was about to launch his business. After one month, I called it quits. It hurts. But I am at peace with my decision.
That’s me last year. We talked for almost a year. Even met and all. I told him we get to know each other more. 😂 4.3 months in. He started hot for 3 months , last 1 month he started acting flaky and using work as an excuse. I back up and slow things down before I quit. I expected him to be mature to communicate.
Similar experience - 1st month persistent, 2nd month started work and kids excuse 3rd month full on work excuse so I called it quits after checking in as to what he wanted. Got deflecting excuses wishy washy excuses and comms decreased. Thankfully I could see signs and pulled back. Thankfully did not get fully emotional involved. Disappointed by the behaviour and breadcrumbs.
Communication is important! Texting isn’t a great form of it because you can’t see body language. About 90 percent of communication is nonverbal. I always get them on the phone at least. Then I learn a lot by asking tough and deep questions. My training and career as a journalist have helped me be confident enough to do that.
I love that! If you’re bold and sassy and brave, roll the dice! Win or lose it will be okay because you’re a happy, healthy, whole person all by yourself. That’s when you know you can date safely!
I love the way how Susan want us to date with LOGIC. Don’t be doing straight empathy concerns when the person is one sided or wants to compartmentalize.
Thank you so much Susan it took me 4-5 days to figure out if she was interested in me. They do send mixed messages even if you meet them in person. Ego boost. Guys out there be your own detective. Susan is bang on again - I figured it out in 4-5 days that she put little effort communicating, she compartmentalized me i.e see me as professional body and she was dismissive of my feelings while out Skating. I then let her know that I figured out she was not into me and then she replied: let's keep it as professional relationship. She had no choice isn't it !!! Never was she upfront about her feelings towards me but she was sending mixed messages for sure. This is what Susan Winter does to the Dating games out there. OMG she is genius. My favorite Relationship Guru 😍🥰🤩
@@SusanWinter in fact I do like you duty dating because everytime I get into that so-called negative result it allows me to go deeper in the source where true happiness resides. It does shrink my Ego or the Ego in me. P/S I do try to dates much younger ladies which is way more challenging than same age group. Susan let me know when you next show is coming I would offer you a mark of appreciate for all you have been doing for me and for all of us.
Remember though, sometimes, depending on circumstances, meeting friends and family doesn't necessarily mean anything. For instance, what if you've been talking with someone but the first real date is a wedding of a family member or friend? Then you ARE meeting many people in their inner circle, but in their mind - it is just a date - because many people don't want to be single at a wedding. I personally rather go single than to bother having a "date" just for show...but thats me, and I've known many men and women who rather not attend than to go to a wedding alone!!! Silly, for sure, but it's common. And everyone knows people do this, and most no one thinks that it means anything serious is in their mind about that person they brought.
You’re absolutely correct. That’s why it’s so important to manage have an open and honest conversation and communicate what you are looking for upfront.
Exactly. There are women who find themselves in a 10 year relationship because all the signs of a serious relationship is there. Only to find out that there is no marriage to it. Just because they give you a semblance of a serious relationship, if there is no movement towards marriage then all you're doing is giving them the comfort of a relationship without the obligations and accountability of a full marital commitment.
@@northshorelight35Unless marriage isn’t important to you either. My guy and I are lifelong partners, fully committed, living together, and I travel a lot while he watches the pets. We’re in our 50’s, so a wedding isn’t on my priority list.
Ok like I don't know what's up with this session, but literally every single thing she said today I needed to hear it! Literally every single thing! Thank you so much like you have no idea what a wonderful job you're doing❤
There's a paradox here. Many of us who watch your coaching channel and many other similar channels HAVE done the self-reflection and self-work to understand ourselves, our (initial) attachment style (which hopefully has transformed into a more secure style through our work) and have readied ourselves to receive and express sincere interest when the opportunity appears. The problem is we still constantly encounter those who aren't serious, who put up barriers and limits, and who haven't done the work. So we continue to make ourselves open to hope and possible interest, only for that effing shoe to drop over and over and OVER again. It's exhausting and dispiriting to be open but keep encountering nonsense like this. BTW, this happens at any age.
😂 for real. I’m Guilty. I had a guy court me for 4 months. 🤣 I can give me the gf tittle. Later on used his job as an excuse to act flaky and breadcrumbs me. I started going with my my female friends and pick up my social life. He later on call me before new year. I didn’t pick up. Then later on text me a happy new year text wishing me all the best. I cordially said thanks for everything. Wish u all the best. Keep it simple. Some folks love to play. Use logic and stop being hook on dreams.
People do the work only in a temporary format . But it u observe. U will know. Secondly people love the idea of u or what they feel they can manage. 😂 I have seen people suck at conflict resolution
Hi Susan my ex recently broke up with me because there was no feelings there. It's taking me a bit of time to get over it. Any advice on what I could do to try take my mind off things
Not only did he not text me, he does not care about anyone nor does he celebrate Holidays or Birthdays of any kind and he is Jewish, but non-practicing, He does not date and told me so. I felt he must be high functioning on the spectrum. He is very well educated and did reach out to me at times, but then would get scared. He is mid-sixties and never married. I gave up on him after I understood that he can reach out only if it has to do with his dog. God forbid anything ever happens to the dog, He has few if any real friends I realize now. He lives in a secluded home which is lovely but inaccessible to most people. I cannot live like that and with no joy either. I am depressed thinking about what I was considering with this man!
Susan, thank you so much for this video. I recently had a major issue with a wonderful lady regarding her not meeting my family. We dated a couple times a week for 6 months. My parents are deceased, and I have no children. My siblings and I have a strained relationship, and they all live several hundred miles away. I did introduce her to my close friends. But she is close to her own siblings, and she regularly included me on her activities with her siblings. She could not get over the hump of not meeting my siblings, and did not really accept my explanation regarding my issues with my siblings. It was the main factor in our breakup. I’m afraid of this situation happening again with someone else. Any suggestions on how to handle this in the future?
I am not Susan, but as someone who has recently broken up with someone where I wasn’t introduced to his siblings despite being engaged to him for the most part of 4 years I would suggest you have your next girlfriend meet them via a family zoom call if you think that could be possible given the state of your relationship with them.
Is the punishment of giving the silent treatment or going cold for bringing up issues with their lack of communication a symptom of narcissism or do most guys do that stuff?
The guy I recently dated was persistent in the first two months. In the third month, he suddenly communicated less and used his work as the reason, that he was about to launch his business. After one month, I called it quits. It hurts. But I am at peace with my decision.
Sorry about that. He let you know where he stood by his actions
That’s me last year. We talked for almost a year. Even met and all. I told him we get to know each other more. 😂 4.3 months in. He started hot for 3 months , last 1 month he started acting flaky and using work as an excuse. I back up and slow things down before I quit. I expected him to be mature to communicate.
Similar experience - 1st month persistent, 2nd month started work and kids excuse 3rd month full on work excuse so I called it quits after checking in as to what he wanted. Got deflecting excuses wishy washy excuses and comms decreased. Thankfully I could see signs and pulled back. Thankfully did not get fully emotional involved. Disappointed by the behaviour and breadcrumbs.
Communication is important! Texting isn’t a great form of it because you can’t see body language. About 90 percent of communication is nonverbal. I always get them on the phone at least. Then I learn a lot by asking tough and deep questions. My training and career as a journalist have helped me be confident enough to do that.
I very much agree! Learning non verbal queues can lead you to ask the questions you wouldn’t have thought to ask otherwise.
I love that! If you’re bold and sassy and brave, roll the dice! Win or lose it will be okay because you’re a happy, healthy, whole person all by yourself. That’s when you know you can date safely!
I love the way how Susan want us to date with LOGIC. Don’t be doing straight empathy concerns when the person is one sided or wants to compartmentalize.
Thank you so much Susan it took me 4-5 days to figure out if she was interested in me. They do send mixed messages even if you meet them in person. Ego boost. Guys out there be your own detective. Susan is bang on again - I figured it out in 4-5 days that she put little effort communicating, she compartmentalized me i.e see me as professional body and she was dismissive of my feelings while out Skating. I then let her know that I figured out she was not into me and then she replied: let's keep it as professional relationship. She had no choice isn't it !!! Never was she upfront about her feelings towards me but she was sending mixed messages for sure. This is what Susan Winter does to the Dating games out there. OMG she is genius. My favorite Relationship Guru 😍🥰🤩
I’m so sorry that you had to do through such a challenging experience. The right person is out there, I promise!
@@SusanWinter in fact I do like you duty dating because everytime I get into that so-called negative result it allows me to go deeper in the source where true happiness resides. It does shrink my Ego or the Ego in me. P/S I do try to dates much younger ladies which is way more challenging than same age group. Susan let me know when you next show is coming I would offer you a mark of appreciate for all you have been doing for me and for all of us.
Hey Susan, we did the same topic on the same day... YAY!!! Love your content.
What are the chances?!? I need to check it out!
I TOOK YOUR ADVICE!!
Remember though, sometimes, depending on circumstances, meeting friends and family doesn't necessarily mean anything. For instance, what if you've been talking with someone but the first real date is a wedding of a family member or friend? Then you ARE meeting many people in their inner circle, but in their mind - it is just a date - because many people don't want to be single at a wedding. I personally rather go single than to bother having a "date" just for show...but thats me, and I've known many men and women who rather not attend than to go to a wedding alone!!! Silly, for sure, but it's common. And everyone knows people do this, and most no one thinks that it means anything serious is in their mind about that person they brought.
You’re absolutely correct. That’s why it’s so important to manage have an open and honest conversation and communicate what you are looking for upfront.
Exactly. There are women who find themselves in a 10 year relationship because all the signs of a serious relationship is there. Only to find out that there is no marriage to it. Just because they give you a semblance of a serious relationship, if there is no movement towards marriage then all you're doing is giving them the comfort of a relationship without the obligations and accountability of a full marital commitment.
Very good point!
@@northshorelight35Unless marriage isn’t important to you either. My guy and I are lifelong partners, fully committed, living together, and I travel a lot while he watches the pets. We’re in our 50’s, so a wedding isn’t on my priority list.
oh, Susan I so relate to you when you said, you are relationship person
Ok like I don't know what's up with this session, but literally every single thing she said today I needed to hear it!
Literally every single thing!
Thank you so much like you have no idea what a wonderful job you're doing❤
This was a wonderful episode! ❤ Thank you Susan!
There's a paradox here. Many of us who watch your coaching channel and many other similar channels HAVE done the self-reflection and self-work to understand ourselves, our (initial) attachment style (which hopefully has transformed into a more secure style through our work) and have readied ourselves to receive and express sincere interest when the opportunity appears.
The problem is we still constantly encounter those who aren't serious, who put up barriers and limits, and who haven't done the work. So we continue to make ourselves open to hope and possible interest, only for that effing shoe to drop over and over and OVER again. It's exhausting and dispiriting to be open but keep encountering nonsense like this. BTW, this happens at any age.
This video is very educational for people dating with intentions. Love it ❤
You’re so sweet! Thank you so much for the kind words!
I love the way you talk about accountability , yes ..some women entertain men with low efforts.
Been years. Great to see you Susan. Life has been good, signed your New Zealand traveler friend. ❤
Thank you Susan, I wish I would of found your videos year ago! Love ya!
I grasped that first excitement about someone, and "caught up in the dream" made me blind.Wishful thinking
😂 for real. I’m
Guilty. I had a guy court me for 4 months. 🤣 I can give me the gf tittle. Later on used his job as an excuse to act flaky and breadcrumbs me. I started going with my my female friends and pick up my social life. He later on call me before new year. I didn’t pick up. Then later on text me a happy new year text wishing me all the best. I cordially said thanks for everything. Wish u all the best.
Keep it simple. Some folks love to play. Use logic and stop being hook on dreams.
People do the work only in a temporary format . But it u observe. U will know. Secondly people love the idea of u or what they feel they can manage. 😂 I have seen people suck at conflict resolution
Sometimes , they enjoy ur company. Not you as a person they want to be in a relationship with.
Love from ghana
Hi Susan my ex recently broke up with me because there was no feelings there. It's taking me a bit of time to get over it. Any advice on what I could do to try take my mind off things
What The Heck Is Self Love? Jonathon Aslay❤️
I’m so sorry to hear that! I have tons of videos in breakups! Also, check out my audiobook “Breakup Triage”
@@sherriflemming3218what about it??
Nathan, check out Breakup Triage. Free on Audible if you're a member. Only a few dollars if not
Not only did he not text me, he does not care about anyone nor does he celebrate Holidays or Birthdays of any kind and he is Jewish, but non-practicing, He does not date and told me so. I felt he must be high functioning on the spectrum. He is very well educated and did reach out to me at times, but then would get scared. He is mid-sixties and never married. I gave up on him after I understood that he can reach out only if it has to do with his dog. God forbid anything ever happens to the dog, He has few if any real friends I realize now. He lives in a secluded home which is lovely but inaccessible to most people. I cannot live like that and with no joy either. I am depressed thinking about what I was considering with this man!
What The Heck Is Self Love? Jonathon Aslay ❤️
He sounds like a dismissive avoidant attachment style.
I guess he trusted a lot of people in the past, loyalty and trust was broken, he's protecting his self from the harsh world.
Here we go again.😊
Mam , good morning
Susan, thank you so much for this video. I recently had a major issue with a wonderful lady regarding her not meeting my family. We dated a couple times a week for 6 months. My parents are deceased, and I have no children. My siblings and I have a strained relationship, and they all live several hundred miles away. I did introduce her to my close friends. But she is close to her own siblings, and she regularly included me on her activities with her siblings. She could not get over the hump of not meeting my siblings, and did not really accept my explanation regarding my issues with my siblings. It was the main factor in our breakup. I’m afraid of this situation happening again with someone else. Any suggestions on how to handle this in the future?
I am not Susan, but as someone who has recently broken up with someone where I wasn’t introduced to his siblings despite being engaged to him for the most part of 4 years I would suggest you have your next girlfriend meet them via a family zoom call if you think that could be possible given the state of your relationship with them.
I love ur videos
Good info 👍
Thanks 👍
Is the punishment of giving the silent treatment or going cold for bringing up issues with their lack of communication a symptom of narcissism or do most guys do that stuff?
Can't wait to hear always meeting the wrong guy
Mam ,i want only my beautiful family
I know just let me do my process in peace. I old enough to see it.