Being a firstborn, now I understand why it has been difficult for me to take care of myself... Now I understand why I usually put other people's feelings first... Now I understand why the easiest way for me to express my feelings is through crying...
I relate so much to this as a first born and only girl..hugs and love to all firstborns out there going through so much and feel so alone and misunderstood..we got this, may God see and bless us.
I'm 30 and I feel the same, the damage is real and still they'll blame you for not being married, not having the financial capability not just being perfect when you used all your energy, time and money to support them, zero appreciation to make it worse you can never be your parents favourite despite all😢😢😢we need healing and restoration!! 😢
Thank Zulu for this show, A lot of insight has been unveiled. Being the first born myself, I found myself in a dilemma at times where u have to choose sides, speak or hold my word. Once again personally I am grateful for the wisdom that you impart not on this but generations to come. Please hold a show about when parents need to let their children fly out of the nest when they grow. Most parents think that we become rebellious when we grow, yet it is a matter of finding ourselves and becoming independent.
Wah! at- last Benjamin has touched on this topic. I have noticed mainstream media don't go all in and are somehow are uncomfortable telling Parents are at wrong. This leaves the first born to suffer more and be the Sucrificial lamb 😪. I also went through the hardships of being the first born. When my parents separated I suddenly had to take care of my 2 siblings. Without any preparations I had to know how to raise 2 kids on my own, clean, take them to school, Cook, wash our clothes and still perform well at school - I was 8 years old. I did all this ( I am almost 2 years older than my Sister and 5 years older than my brother) I thought everyone was going through the same....for me this was normal 😕. I was always weak and lost lots of weight but nobody cared. The worst happened when I thought I did not deserve to be loved by anybody. I don't know - sadly, how it is to be a daughter. That feeling of being a child is still alien to me...unfortunately I will never experience it. I loved my Mother unconditionally but felt deeply betrayed by her. My whole childhood was stolen and is forever gone, my youth too. I have no savings of my own because I was so conditioned to always " support " my mum's lifestyle. I will never understand how 2 Adults cannot take their responsibilities but expect a child to shoulder the family responsibilities and abandon their needs. Because of stress and long-term abandonment, I started losing my hair and toe nails. I also started having panic attacks 😭 for no reason. My immune system was worsening. I thought I am dying. Right now, I am still recovering but angry at Adults in my life. I couldn't afford a therapy with Benjamin Zulu but I did find another affordable one . Being a firstborn can be good and beautiful experience, but in my case I wish it was different ✌️
I understand your pain many parents relinquish their responsibilities and turn first borns into emotional dumping grounds then later on guilt trip them. I sympathize and empathize with your experience.
Thank you very much Benjamin for re-affirming to me the changes I am making in my life. May the good Lord continue to give you the wisdom to address society's challenges.
Being the firstborn,the day I discovered myself from this kind of treatment.. am happier and peaceful ..I no longer carry any burdens that don't belong to me!!! This page has really helped me grow
When I remember how I was treated by my aunt I cry. I was made to carry a big basket packed lunch for her kids who were older than me to school until one my friends threw all those dishes away and invited me live to her place incase am chased. Mind u I was in class 3
Listening to you sir is the best decision that av done in my life.... I have corrected my self so many mistakes because of you especially family matters as a first born I can attest to this... I feel like your talking about me thank you sir and may God continue blessing you with more wisdom 🙏
By 6yo, I already had to take my baby brother for immunization, by uni , I had to babysit my other brother.It was hard to find myself and my own purpose for life.I was raising myself and my mother’s kids.By 12,I had turned into family intercessor coz,I saw and lived all the family responsibilities.I hated life.
🤦🙆🙆🙆😢😢😢you bring back memories of child abuse, taking care of the young one's ( 4&1). At 7yrs doing all the house chores, cooking, bathing the younger ones, fetching water etc. almost everyday 😢.
I can really testify to this , being the 1st born this thing really damaged me and I didn’t even concentrate with school because my mind was so ruined due to my dad and mom toxic environment. I have paid schools feels for 3of my siblings and later build them a house and bought items.
I really resonate with this topic... been all that's been described here, Benjamin you have really filled me in why I feel thisway.. suddenly wanting to merry make and forget the past at my middle age
I was put to adjudicate between my parents and I was still blamed and called names for making the "wrong" choice.This is after surviving from epilepsy and two surgeries. Wanted to marry a very beautiful lady I was blamed for marrying from the wrong tribe.Also blamed for voting for the wrong person.
Sometimes my HELB would settle my sisters tuition when i was just a first year and she was at primary. Only coz mama rested😫. Same helb was my upkeep and fees at schl. Schl of life weuh😓
I’m a victim of this and it has really taken me struggles, I bought chicken last year and even a single egg haven’t seen . Bought wood to build rental house and yesterday only I found some are missing , my dad had taken them and used to build
Zulu, I am the firstborn and my late mum used to tell me how she had planned to take care of us until the last born then proceed for her retirement, and for her retirement she had investments that were supposed to take care of her in her retirement.... May her soul Rest in Peace, I don't know why some parents burden firstborns until I have heard one asking how much she was supposed to pay to be set free....
Wow thanks zulu for this topic it is so timely .I was trying to advise someone that one need to love themselves first and cut off this links of carrying the cross for everyone meaning ( adults) even Jesus himself was help to carry the cross .thanks will forward this video it will really help .
Let me count myself as one of the firstborn and things become difficult more especially when mum died, and step mother had 4kids, my salary is 30k and I have my young sister, failer to support my other brothers.My step mother is talking badly, 2 boys are in high school
Me am the first born I feel overwhelmed am 26 not yet married I don't have akid yet raising my 3 siblings I have moved all over the country suffering I can't build my self am even worried don't know what to do
Your talking about me, am 2nd last, my parents are sick and never secured their old age, my Dad has a heart problem, we were living in aka 2bed room house. Am now 34yrs not married and last born has 3 children already, have worked so hard, for hospital bills, bullding a house for them, now it's at finishing level. Have changed work to another until when my contract ended three months ago but I have no coin on me even, I had to shift from comfortable rental to a smaller one, no car no nothing...
A quote from Khalil Gibran on Children: Your Children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of life longing for itself. They come through you but not for you. And they are with you yet don't belong to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow which you can not visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them but seek not to make them be like you. For life goes not backwards nor tarries with yesterday. [...]
1st born we become parents to kids we didn't give birth and do house chores and show love at the same time. weeuuuuh!! siyo rahisi hakuna kucheza na dolly ni kulea na smile 😃 😊 guess that's why everyone around me says i have motherly instinct and lots of love to give .Always been a giver but since 2022 im focusing on ME , MYSELF AND I only. 🤎🇰🇪👌🏾🎯
Being a firstborn, now I understand why it has been difficult for me to take care of myself... Now I understand why I usually put other people's feelings first... Now I understand why the easiest way for me to express my feelings is through crying...
Me toooooo
I relate so much to this as a first born and only girl..hugs and love to all firstborns out there going through so much and feel so alone and misunderstood..we got this, may God see and bless us.
Hugs mum...i can relate..and one thing i promised myself is that my kid will have a normal life
This is me
Prayers of healing and restoration for all the victims
Amen hope we will overcome
We listen keenly everytime you bring a word of hope to us.Dont despair you are really saving million of generations
Oh God thank you
Am 31,still not married as first born
All my siblings are married hmmm
I did much work,am even crying bringing back those memories
sorry to u ...same here going through the same situation...
God will vindicate us
@iam _ Jackie u and have the same name,God has done it will be our next statement dear
Virtual hugs❤❤
Hugs, it shall be well.
I'm 30 and I feel the same, the damage is real and still they'll blame you for not being married, not having the financial capability not just being perfect when you used all your energy, time and money to support them, zero appreciation to make it worse you can never be your parents favourite despite all😢😢😢we need healing and restoration!! 😢
Thank Zulu for this show, A lot of insight has been unveiled. Being the first born myself, I found myself in a dilemma at times where u have to choose sides, speak or hold my word. Once again personally I am grateful for the wisdom that you impart not on this but generations to come.
Please hold a show about when parents need to let their children fly out of the nest when they grow. Most parents think that we become rebellious when we grow, yet it is a matter of finding ourselves and becoming independent.
Wah! at- last Benjamin has touched on this topic. I have noticed mainstream media don't go all in and are somehow are uncomfortable telling Parents are at wrong. This leaves the first born to suffer more and be the Sucrificial lamb 😪. I also went through the hardships of being the first born.
When my parents separated I suddenly had to take care of my 2 siblings. Without any preparations I had to know how to raise 2 kids on my own, clean, take them to school, Cook, wash our clothes and still perform well at school - I was 8 years old. I did all this ( I am almost 2 years older than my Sister and 5 years older than my brother)
I thought everyone was going through the same....for me this was normal 😕. I was always weak and lost lots of weight but nobody cared. The worst happened when I thought I did not deserve to be loved by anybody. I don't know - sadly, how it is to be a daughter. That feeling of being a child is still alien to me...unfortunately I will never experience it. I loved my Mother unconditionally but felt deeply betrayed by her. My whole childhood was stolen and is forever gone, my youth too. I have no savings of my own because I was so conditioned to always " support " my mum's lifestyle. I will never understand how 2 Adults cannot take their responsibilities but expect a child to shoulder the family responsibilities and abandon their needs.
Because of stress and long-term abandonment, I started losing my hair and toe nails. I also started having panic attacks 😭 for no reason. My immune system was worsening. I thought I am dying.
Right now, I am still recovering but angry at Adults in my life. I couldn't afford a therapy with Benjamin Zulu but I did find another affordable one .
Being a firstborn can be good and beautiful experience, but in my case I wish it was different ✌️
I understand your pain many parents relinquish their responsibilities and turn first borns into emotional dumping grounds then later on guilt trip them. I sympathize and empathize with your experience.
This is heartbreaking.
Thank you very much Benjamin for re-affirming to me the changes I am making in my life. May the good Lord continue to give you the wisdom to address society's challenges.
Thanks Benjamin. I always feel I jumped part of my childhood. While my siblings were playing, I was busy working.
Hey you read my mind..
Being the firstborn,the day I discovered myself from this kind of treatment.. am happier and peaceful ..I no longer carry any burdens that don't belong to me!!!
This page has really helped me grow
Me too. Am free and at peace.
When I remember how I was treated by my aunt I cry. I was made to carry a big basket packed lunch for her kids who were older than me to school until one my friends threw all those dishes away and invited me live to her place incase am chased. Mind u I was in class 3
Listening to you sir is the best decision that av done in my life....
I have corrected my self so many mistakes because of you especially family matters as a first born I can attest to this... I feel like your talking about me thank you sir and may God continue blessing you with more wisdom 🙏
Thank you so much for rescue .This is me who are talking to. I started thinking about this last two years now I have decided this year.
Credits to all firstborns,but it’s time now to be OFF THE CHAINS OF SLAVERY.
By 6yo, I already had to take my baby brother for immunization, by uni , I had to babysit my other brother.It was hard to find myself and my own purpose for life.I was raising myself and my mother’s kids.By 12,I had turned into family intercessor coz,I saw and lived all the family responsibilities.I hated life.
🤦🙆🙆🙆😢😢😢you bring back memories of child abuse, taking care of the young one's ( 4&1). At 7yrs doing all the house chores, cooking, bathing the younger ones, fetching water etc. almost everyday 😢.
Great content
Take it easy on yourself cz ushakuwa mkubwa and you now know better sending 🖤
@@johngitonga3529 to
I can really testify to this , being the 1st born this thing really damaged me and I didn’t even concentrate with school because my mind was so ruined due to my dad and mom toxic environment. I have paid schools feels for 3of my siblings and later build them a house and bought items.
I really resonate with this topic... been all that's been described here, Benjamin you have really filled me in why I feel thisway.. suddenly wanting to merry make and forget the past at my middle age
This episode is therapy 😭😭
Amen 😢
I was put to adjudicate between my parents and I was still blamed and called names for making the "wrong" choice.This is after surviving from epilepsy and two surgeries.
Wanted to marry a very beautiful lady I was blamed for marrying from the wrong tribe.Also blamed for voting for the wrong person.
Am so sorry
Sometimes my HELB would settle my sisters tuition when i was just a first year and she was at primary. Only coz mama rested😫. Same helb was my upkeep and fees at schl. Schl of life weuh😓
@@bandaid3398 Yes😊
As the birds by wandering as the swallow by flying so the curse causless shall not come. proverb 26- 2. 👍
I’m a victim of this and it has really taken me struggles, I bought chicken last year and even a single egg haven’t seen . Bought wood to build rental house and yesterday only I found some are missing , my dad had taken them and used to build
This is the confirmation I needed. Thanks Benjamin
Through knowledge shall the just escape!
Zulu, I am the firstborn and my late mum used to tell me how she had planned to take care of us until the last born then proceed for her retirement, and for her retirement she had investments that were supposed to take care of her in her retirement....
May her soul Rest in Peace, I don't know why some parents burden firstborns until I have heard one asking how much she was supposed to pay to be set free....
Thanks for addressing the challenges first borns face, am a victim.
Wow thanks zulu for this topic it is so timely .I was trying to advise someone that one need to love themselves first and cut off this links of carrying the cross for everyone meaning ( adults) even Jesus himself was help to carry the cross .thanks will forward this video it will really help .
Very true true and so touching, thank u zulu.
Let me count myself as one of the firstborn and things become difficult more especially when mum died, and step mother had 4kids, my salary is 30k and I have my young sister, failer to support my other brothers.My step mother is talking badly, 2 boys are in high school
Me am the first born I feel overwhelmed am 26 not yet married I don't have akid yet raising my 3 siblings I have moved all over the country suffering I can't build my self am even worried don't know what to do
Your talking about me, am 2nd last, my parents are sick and never secured their old age, my Dad has a heart problem, we were living in aka 2bed room house. Am now 34yrs not married and last born has 3 children already, have worked so hard, for hospital bills, bullding a house for them, now it's at finishing level. Have changed work to another until when my contract ended three months ago but I have no coin on me even, I had to shift from comfortable rental to a smaller one, no car no nothing...
Why are you this wise?
I'm the second born group, let me tell you Maina ...Ni God
🤣🤣tell Maina
A quote from Khalil Gibran on Children:
Your Children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of life longing for itself.
They come through you but not for you. And they are with you yet don't belong to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow which you can not visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them but seek not to make them be like you. For life goes not backwards nor tarries with yesterday. [...]
😭😭😭 am a first born and this is emotional
This speaks to me
Iam a victim of this. Right now time has really gone
Hugs brother, we're together in this🤗
This (listening to these teachings) has become a part of my alternative family...thank you gentlemen
Not too late to start. Pick yourself up.
@benjamin zulu global is always releasing much needed content, that resonates with most of us.💯
Let me fix myself a cup of tea and take my notebook 😊
Whatever Benjamin zulu, saying is true, ... I see it........
I need help am the first born need someone to talk to please
How so please, like a pen pal?
First hand victim is here
I’m a victim
😢😢😢
Thank you Zulu
@Benjamin Zulu u always talk wat we face...
1st born we become parents to kids we didn't give birth and do house chores and show love at the same time. weeuuuuh!! siyo rahisi hakuna kucheza na dolly ni kulea na smile 😃 😊 guess that's why everyone around me says i have motherly instinct and lots of love to give .Always been a giver but since 2022 im focusing on ME , MYSELF AND I only. 🤎🇰🇪👌🏾🎯
💯
Thank you Zulu